>DM comes back. "Your ship gets caught by a tractor beam that pulls you up into orbit"

Alright, sure. Let's see where is this going. We'll get that Sith bastard later.

>DM "Message comes in. The ship belongs to elite Mandalorian" Goes on to describe their story and background in great detail, particularly about this specific group of mercenaries. They are the top of the top.

Ship gets dragged in a traditional Star Wars-style into the hangar. Not-Han Solo can't resists.

>Not-Han "Are our systems down?"
>DM "No, all is in working condition. Why?"
>Not-Han "Even our guns?"
>DM "Yeah, sure"
>Not-Han "Bolkan (that's my character), shoot everything we've got. Aim for those troops lined in perfectly killable square formations"

We start shooting like there's no tomorrow. Somehow, this caught the DM by surprise, but he went along. Deaths everywhere. Then before we can say anything, the DM tells us weapons have now been locked down.

Continues.

>>22882515
Killing Mandalorians is always a noble pastime, I approve.

>>22882515
When somebody asks you if the guns work you say NO!

>DM has a "Hah, cotcha!" look on his face. Proceeds to describe a strongly armed group of soldiers approaching, surrounding a stylish general of sorts.
>One of the Jedi, Levar, asks if there are any ships hanging from the hangar's roof.
>DM "Of course. This is Star Wars. There are always ships hanging from the roof in hangars"
>Levar "I try to bring one down on top of the general with the Force"
>DM "O...K. Roll for it"
>Levar gets a pretty high roll and manages to release the safeties on the ship.
>None of the guards, nor the general, manage to dodge. Or survive the crushing damage.

At that point, the DM finally decided to slap us and describes how elite soldiers with jetpacks try to board the ship. But for some unfathomable reason, the TRY TO NEGOTIATE.

I throw in some blinding grenades and the other Jedi, a Miraluka by the name of Mo'Kar, bangs their heads together, knocking them out.

Noticing how we were about to be boarded and actually shot, we make up a plan. Not-Han and Mordok tie explosives to the jetpacks and throw them out to create a distraction, while the Jedi try to take out the shield generator holding the atmosphere in. I take a hoverbike and make a run for the hangar controls.

Continues.

>>22882648
I lol'd

Now, a bit earlier, the DM told us about turbolasers aiming at our ship inside the hangar (probably to stop us from shooting things). My character is sort of a networks expert, so after landing the bike I hack into the system and find our the turret's control panel is on the viewing bridge above.

My bike gets destroyed, so Not-Han gets on the other one we had and picks me up. We use some explosives to bring down a walkway and use it to get upstairs, when we're confronted by the Sith from before.

Again, he tries to negotiate.

So I throw my hacking-tool-thing at Not-Han and -foolishly, I admit- try to tackle the Sith, though he gets to dodge and I fall off the walkway, breaking my neck on the floor. The Jedi are fighting nearby, but didn't get to save me.

DM gives me a dramatic final word moment.

>"Mary Sues, I've still got plenty... of... explosives. Use this awesome body properly"
>DM says my character also experiences sudden intestinal discharge. This is payback for the time I gave his character explosive diarrhea in D&D.

Levar catches on.

>Both Jedi tie their light sabers on my character's arms and legs (both had double sabers. Mary Sues, I tell you) and telekinetically control the body.
>They propell it forward, making it spin like crazy. Mandalorians getting sliced off left and right.

Continues.

>>22882795
God.

Daaaaamn.

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This but star wars.

The DM is getting anxious, so he tries to cut it out sending some sort of goth mandalorians no one managed to take seriously when described. They zone on on my character's spinning body of death to try and destroy it.

>"The diarrhea! Don't forget I have explosive diarrhea!" I yell.
>Mo'Kar uses the force to drop down my character's pants and squeeze his stomach.
>Chocolate rain everywhere. Goth-Mandalorians get all covered in space feces.
>"Remember he chews a lot of tobacco. I guess that's fiber, so it sould be less runny" I point out. DM gives us a grim look and tries to make it up with some more overly-dramatic attitude from the NPCs.

The Sith skips through the shadows or something and gets in front of my character's body, stoping him still so that the laser-crap tornado ceased to cause both death and dishonour.

>Sith "I have given you every opportunity, but you have up to here in..."
>"SHIT!" Goes Not-Han. He shoots my character and detonates the explosives. All the Goth Mandalorians die, and the Sith ends up near death. But mostly, covered in more excremend than anyone ever should.

DM goes out to the bathroom again. Comes 10 minutes later and sits down, serious:

>"The Mandalorian army has decided to drop you back into the planet. Your ship has been repaired and stocked with food. You get a letter from the new general saying that no amount of credits will ever justify fighting creatures who employ feces as a weapon"
>Not-Han "Laser Feces"

He never DMed again.

I never understood this "players are your opponents" DMing mentality. Especially when you're not doing a dungeon crawl or something.

You do not have to desperately try to make them fail at everything. Shit.

>>22882970
To be fair, I'm getting the sense that the DM isn't trying to off the players, more desperately trying to get them back on rails.

This is a good thread.
I wish your GM didn't stop.

This story is simultaneously awful and funny.

Thanks for the laughs, OP.

>>22882960

nice job breaking him "hero"

>>22882970

Well, the DM is a long-times player of mine and was admitedly rusty at DMing. He eventually told us that he realised he had tried far too much railroading, while we realised we could have given him more rope. So it was also our bad.

But if you had heard the level of cheesy evil menaces and descriptions... we just couldn't resist.

So... it's like the A-Team, but instead of being cornered in a shed and making a tank out of a lawnmower, a handful of thimbles, and some fertilizer, you were cornered in a spaceship and made a flying, shit-spewing death machine out of B.A. Barackus and some lightsabers.

Yeah, sounds about right.

wow what a bunch of dick players. if you didn't want to play what the fuck were you wasting his time for?

>>22883150
>wow what a bunch of dick players. if you didn't want to listen to him tell the entire story to you what the fuck were you wasting his time for?

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>>22882795
>Both Jedi tie their light sabers on my character's arms and legs (both had double sabers. Mary Sues, I tell you) and telekinetically control the body.
>They propell it forward, making it spin like crazy.

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>>22882403
>>22882515
>>22882648
>>22882795
>>22882960

Oh god. I think I busted a rib trying not to burst into inappropriately loud laughter in my office. Kudos to you OP, you ruined a railroading GM's shitty plot with a shitty human weapon, and both you and the GM were all cool with it afterwards and realized you both handled it poorly.

Good show.

>>22883194
I don't see the DM doing anything but trying to introduce plot elements that the PCs obliterate and then devolve into LAZER SHIT TORNADO LOLOLOL.

>>22883315
>enemies
>threatening PCs
>PCs react violently
This makes sense. I don't see the problem. If he doesn't want them to attack, don't make them behave in a threatening way. OP didn't say "then we see this ewok and we shank him lolol"

>>22883150

You have to understand this all took place among good friends, so while we did indeed force the DM into corners sometimes, it wasn't like an angry confrontation or anything. When the whole thing ended we all laughed it off and allowed him to skip paying his share of the pizzas that night.

But yeah, maybe we were a bit dickish.

>>22882515
Not-Han Solo Shot First!

>>22882648
>>22882515
If your DM was smarter alot of this wouldn't be happening.

I mean he wouldn't even be railroading you, just not setting up his house of cards so poorly that you can collapse it with a slight breath

>>22883315

In my opinion, although the laser-shit human shuriken might have been over the top, the reactions were pretty reasonable: First with the Cyborg Cowboy trying to steal our stuff, then with the Sith trying to kill our allies, then with the Mandalorians trying to imprison us. What else were we supposed to do, particularly when they kept giving us chances to hit back?

After all, the whole plan in the ship was to use the turbolasers to destroy the shields and tractor beam and get the hell out of there in the Not-Millenium Falcon so we could go back to chase the robber cyborg and get our stuff back.

T'was all about the money, in the end.

>>22882970

I personally think it makes for a more interesting experience if the DM is actively trying to kill you. Firstly, it makes you have to think outside the box in order to outsmart -the universe-. Second, because it's basically your party against the world, it makes it that much sweeter when you pull off some incredible shit and manage to actually survive.

I'd like to play with this DM some time, it sounds like a lot of fun.

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So, Star Wars derail general?

I went back into the archives and dug up the tale of Akut Jakkar, Jawa Mechanic, and the two-session campaign.
We had a GM who was intent on running us through basically the entire plot of the prequels using Saga Edition. I'm not exactly sure how that was going to work, he was reluctant to talk about his plot after the fact,and during, we were derailing him so hard he had to take breaks.

The party was operating out of a tramp freighter - a Faleen noble who owned the ship, a Mandalorian enforcer for muscle, a Force user of some non-Jedi tradition for wizard antics, and a droid who was the primary pilot. And me – Akut Jakkar, Jawa ships mechanic and tinkerer.

We drop out of hyperspace to do a routine course correction and find a bunch of Trade Federation capital ships sitting around, in the middle of nowhere. They order us to stand down and dock. Being a shitt light freighter up against cruisers, we do so. First thing they do when we get of the ship is put us in meeting room right next to the docking bay and try to gas us, just like Ep. I. The droid hotwires the doors and we all get the hell out right quick. We get ambushed by battledroids, but fuck that shit - I'm a Jawa. "Utinni!" I ion blast the droids and do my level best not to leave the pile of precious precious droid parts behind.

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>>22883751
The ship blasts off and we dodge like there's no tommorrow - though we wouldn't have to dodge so much if the ship actually had shields. The Faleen captain shouts at Akut over the comms.
"Why the hell don't we have shields?!"
Akut replies with "Ah. Um. We need shields? Needed cable. For other stuff. Main power line from reactor to shields is in Akut's room. Wait wait, Akut will fix."
One minute and some loud mechanical noises later - "Shields A-okay now. Don't go in cargo hold. Power routed through floor."

And with that exchange and a reading of the Saga edition ship combat rules, we managed to negate the shots that actually hit us via piloting and mechanics checks, tanked the one shot we couldn't dodge and make it to hyperspace. As the GM's plans called for us to be captured by the Trade Federation, he wasn't at a loss as to how to handle this. The captain decided we were heading to Coruscant, because we'd be safe from Trade Fed there.

That was where the first session ended. The GM wasn't sure what to do, and he spent the next week trying to come up with something. Not managing to come up with a way to shoehorn us into a plot that required us to be captured by Trade Fed while we were in the heart of Republic space, he gives up and asks "What are you going to do on Coruscant?" This was a bad idea from the start.

The Faleen decided she wanted to go shopping for pleasure slaves, having the inkling of an idea. The Mandalorian and Force user decided to go with her. The Droid held down the fort. "Junkyard." Akut said. "Best parts always at junkyard, for cheap, just need little fixing."

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>>22883751
>We get ambushed by battledroids, but fuck that shit - I'm a Jawa.

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>>22883774
The GM decided that he'd satisfy everyone and put down a map that had a junkyard near a tiny cantina. The main party struck up a conversation with someone in the cantina, discovered that Red Twileks are frightfully rare outside of Ryloth, and not terribly cheap even on planet. Asking around some more, the party left after picking up a smuggling job to Ryloth, because even if red ones can't be found, Twi'lek slaves must be cheap on the Twi'lek homeworld, right? There was a brawl and bounty hunter appearance planned, but since they only spoke to two guys, and picked up a job that paid obscenely well for a short trip - they weren't sticking around.

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>>22883817
Akut on the other hand, walked into the junkyard's office and demanded a grav sled. "Grav sled! Need grav sled to pick out parts!"
His abrasive manners did not go over well with the two Duros in the office. They gave him his grav sled - and activated the droid security bots that sat in several junk piles, camouflaged in the rubbish. Possibly the worst thing they could do to deter a Jawa. As he picked through the piles of trash Akut was delighted to discover multiple droids still moving, even armed with blasters! Ion blasts made quick work of them, and soon a grav sled with 4 slightly crispy B1 battledroids and a large number of spare speeder parts was pushed into the front office.
"You terrible junkyard owners. Droids almost new! Still, ion damage here. How much you want?"
The Duros are afraid. The tiny humanoid just disabled their security system, and is handling a blaster rifle. "Nothing, just take it!"
Akut narrows his glowing eyes in suspiscion. "Nothing? Can't take for nothing. Akkut knows how this works, if leave here, you call troopers because you not paid! Akkut is shot in back and left in ditch, and you get stuff back. No - I give you 50 credits."
The Duros eye each other and nod. Anything to get this maniac out of the shop. "Deal. 50 creds."
"NO! You still plan to shoot Akut on way out, say 'He try to underpay me.' Here. 200 creds. YOU GIVE ME RECEIPT!" This last barked while shaking a blaster rifle by the barrel at the Duros.

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>>22883844
And thus he left, loading the parts onto the party speeder. After selling off the extraneous blaster rifles, we loaded up our highly illegal spice, and our Faleen revealed her genius plan to keep the shipment hidden. Obscene sex toys. Our ships manifest had the raunchiest and most terrible sex toys imaginable listed on it - and any customs inspector was going to have to go through crates of blinking purple Ithorian dongs and Gammorean gimp masks to get to our illicit goods.

After a brief run through customs in which our concealment works flawlessly, we leave for Ryloth. En route, we looked over the ship catalog and planned our next move. We decided we would ditch the tramp freighter for a bulk cargo hauler, and convert most of the cargo space to luxury quarters. We'd buy pleasure slaves on Ryloth and turn the ship into a flying bordello, with the Faleen as the madam, and we could sell passenger space and charge a premium on the 'pleasure cruise.' After making planetfall, we could operate out of the docks until we had a full set of passengers and then take off again.

At this point, it was too much for the GM - he quit, not being able to handle something so... non-Star Wars in his favorite universe. The game only lasted two sessions, but hot damn if that crazy Jawa isn't one of my favorite characters to this day.

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>>22883844
>"YOU GIVE ME RECEIPT!"

Oh god, I lost it.

Let me tell you a story of the first, and so far only, time I ran a Star Wars game.
This was just a one shot, both to test the Microlite Star Wars d20 rules, and to take a break from the endless nWoD I usually end up running. I get a bunch of players together at the game club I play at, and we all begin character generation.

A lot of them go for serious characters, but one guy decided to see how far he could push the silliness, and because I'd said "no Gungans" he went for the next most insane thing he could find:
Stormageddon III, the Ewok Jedi. The hermaphroditic Ewok Jedi.
This would set the tone for the rest of the game, and thankfully I was at that plateau of drunkenness where I figured I may as well say "fuck it, why not".

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>>22884041
>Stormageddon III, the Ewok Jedi. The hermaphroditic Ewok Jedi.

This has potential.

>>22883563
>I personally think it makes for a more interesting experience if the DM is actively trying to kill you.

only in Cyberpunk 2020. And even then it isn't really necessary. The game does it anyhow.

>>22884041
>>22884102
So we began things on Tatooine, just after the events of New Hope: lots of talk about the Empire tightening up security after the Millennium Falcon's escape, that sort of thing. As is usual for this kind of gleeful cliche-ridden stupidity, the party met in a cantina. One of them was getting utterly hammered when a squad of stormtroopers walked in and began to harass anyone they didn't like the look of. Given most of the party were aliens, this meant them.

This didn't deter the amazing Stormageddon, who decided the best way to deal with these Empire stooges was to try and seduce them.
Despite me picking a high DC (dem nonhumans) this actually worked, with the entire squad being enamored with this tiny multi-genitaled teddy-bear thing. Seeing his chance, Stormie led the stormtroopers into the cantina bathroom.

>>22882970
Did you read the same story as I did? It's obviously the players that think the DM is their enemy. He just wants to be able to salvage SOMETHING, ANYTHING of what he prepared for the game.

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>>22884210
Oh god.

>>22884210
Cue the violent murder, with the ones closest to the homicidal teddybear being hacked to pieces with a lightsabre and the ones nearest the door running out only to be shot to death with blasters.
The cantina pretty much empties at this point, and in the tradition of PCs everywhere, the party decides to loot the cash register, the alcohol shelf and the dead stormtroopers for gear.

Sadly, after this they decided to burn the place down, completely forgetting one member of the party was too busy being drunk to notice the building burning around him until he too was on fire. Deciding it'd be better to finish drinking himself into oblivion elsewhere, he scooped up the rest of the booze and staggered out of the building, still on fire.

>>22884213
Little from Column A, little from Column B.

The players played an ordinary game, making use of their resources to kill off people that are threatening them - bounty hunter, Sith, etc.

The GM, at that point, started railroading hard, and extensively using GM fiat to save his plot-vital antagonists.

Players, understandably, do not like it when villains get to walk out of complete annihilation and negate their clever tactics, good rolls, or just overhwhelming firepower. So they go fuck it, and start abusing the landscape and their own resources as hard as possible.

It's an escalating arms race, but the core problem is that the GM started fiating his villains' survival right in front of the players. He should have let the players think them dead and brought them back as cyborgs or after having to spend a full month in a bacta tank or something.

Also, GM made the rookie mistake of trying to spring the epic plot on the players immediately, before they had any investment in their characters or the game itself, allowing them to not care that they are making a shit-spewing lightsaber tornado.

>>22884330
Straight into a second squad of stormtroopers among the gathering crowd watching the cantina burn. On seeing them, he cheered happily and offered them hugs and some of his armfuls of booze while the rest of the party hid amongst the crowd.

Confronted with a burning, drink-proffering idiot, the stormtroopers decided to take pity on him, and the commander fumbled for a stun grenade so they could keep him calm while they put the fire out. And as I rolled for their throw, I realised there was no stopping this madness.

Natural 1. The incompetent fool hit him in the eye with the pin.

>>22884461
Once the blast cleared, the entire party started fighting over who got the heavy repeating blaster one of the stormies was carrying. While somebody put out the drunk and the scrum got going in earnest, one of the party not turning the street into a warzone realised the stormtroopers likely had the frequency of the nearest Star Destroyer, and proceeded to prank call them by pretending (badly) to be Darth Vader.

This didn't go down well with the crew, and because we were out of time I ruled they just said "fuck this" and bombarded the entire settlement from orbit.
A hilariously stupid end for a hilariously stupid game. I wouldn't have bought a copy of Maid RPG if it wasn't for this.

>This didn't go down well with the crew, and ...just said "fuck this" and bombarded the entire settlement from orbit.
Good show.

>>22884961
>Prank calls?! Not on my watch!

>>22884357
>plot-vital antagonists
GM is only excused because OP said he hasn't run a game in years.

>>22885002
There were actually rebel agents on board, they wanted to kill Vader.

>>22885106
Shit. Wish I'd actually thought of that now.
Glad you guys liked the story, it still remains one of the most fun games I've ever done. Literally laughed till I cried at points.

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>>22884210
>the best way to deal with these Empire stooges was to try and seduce them.

>>22883869
>>22884000
Not liking the whole sex trade thing, but that Jawa is fucking hilarious.

Out of curiosity what is the best system to run a Star Wars game?

>>22887089
West End d6. Saga is... Saga is proto-4e. It maintains a lot of the things that aren't great about 3.5's OGL, while introducing a lot of the 4e elements. Saga is nice because it's complete and easy to find, but frankly, I'm pretty unimpressed with it overall - just the face that I could build a character that had a 30 on stealth checks before rolling made it so that the average mook couldn't find me with even with orbital sensors since you can't crit skill rolls. It's not horrendous, but I think West End is a little better.

>>22887388
Thank you kindly!

I'd never considered it before but I've been rewatching the original movies, read this thread, and figured, what the hell, this sounds fun!

how does one archive things? I would love to read this later, but i just haven't the time, or knowledge on how to screencap/cut up posts
(maybe i should have taken that course in WGD; then i would know this stuff....)

>>22888245
I did it already, actually.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/22882403/

>>22888277

awesome!

>>22887089
>>22887388

Agreed. Star Wars d6 is pretty quirky, but it's a fun system to play with. Rather than classes, you pick from templates that are tied to some key (and not so key) concepts from Star Wars.

One of my favourite characters was from that game, using the Quixotic Jedi template. Dice pooling could get rather big eventually, but nothing too terrible.

http://funnyjunk.com/user/royalwerewolf

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In postable format.

>>22889031
Looks like you chopped the bottom of the last post off there.

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Clipped the ending, try again.

>>22882403

>Ewok Sith

I played one named "Darth Malignus." He wore a helmet that looked like an awful lot like Vader's, and had a convenient translator built in that gave him a hilariously deep voice. He also wore a "cape" that was in fact just a blanket he had owned when he was a child. He had a saber staff which he used to pole vault over his enemies.

I only got to play him in one session, and in that session we dropped an elevator on Darth Vader and set off the self-destruct sequence on that same ship. Meaning we accidentally killed Vader at level 1.

Thankfully I also managed to steal Palpatine's chair, because my Ewok had a sense of style, damn it.

>>22889374
>Accidentally Killed Darth Vader at level 1
> Stole Palpatine's chair because "my ewok had a sense of style, damn it.

Can you tell us the story of this session? because holy hell i almost lost it at that comment

>>22889450

We were all aboard the flagship of the Empire. The party were all Sith; there was me, a Hutt who specialized in Force Pull/Push, a Cathar that was good at saber fighting, and some other... thing that, like, I don't know, diplomacy'd people really well or something, it was really gay so I don't remember.

Anyway, we're all aboard this ship, when for some reason (again, can't really remember) we start discussing how we were going to overthrow the Emperor and start our own glorious Empire with all of us acting as the ruling council. Unfortunately for us, Mr. Vader heard all this, and decided he was going to punish us for this transgression (read: cut to tiny ribbons with his laser sword).

The party did what anyone would do in this situation: ran the fuck out of there. We start running through random hallways, throwing down every door we can to slow him down. Somehow this led us to the Emperor's throne room, and right away, my little evil teddy bear got stars in his eyes. So I activated my saber, cut the chair off of the floor, and started dragging it behind me. While this was happening, the other players looked on various consoles and activated the self-destruct. As if on cue, Vader burst through the door, looking about as pissed as someone with a mask can look.

-cont.-

>>22889575

We run out of some other door, with him very close behind us. We take some elevator down and run away, but we run into a snag: a locked door blocking the only way out. Vader just fucking jumps down, ready to kill us. It's then that the Hutt realizes that Vader is standing awfully close to the elevator track, and uses the Force to bring the elevator crashing down on top of him. While it was doubtful this killed him, his sudden lack of movement was promising, and we cut through the door and bolted to our ships. Several troopers tried to stop us, but we cut them down easily. All this time, by the way, my Ewok was dragging that fucking chair behind him. We get to the ship and take off just as the flagship explodes. It was at this point that it hit us to scan to see if any ships escaped. Apparently, according to our scanners anyway, none had gotten away safely, as almost all of the men had been too busy trying to find us (and no doubt trying to find Vader) that they didn't have enough time.

It was at this point that it hit us: no ships escaping means that no one escaped. Vader was trapped beneath the rubble of the elevator; ergo, that motherfucker was toast.

The campaign fell apart after that, of course. That didn't really bother me though, because at least I got my chair.

>>22889575
>We were all aboard the flagship of the Empire. The party were all Sith; there was me, a Hutt who specialized in Force Pull/Push, a Cathar that was good at saber fighting
Sounds like your typical 'lol random' group who only think about combat...

>and some other... thing that, like, I don't know, diplomacy'd people really well or something, it was really gay so I don't remember.
You're a shit head...

>Anyway, we're all aboard this ship, when for some reason (again, can't really remember) we start discussing how we were going to overthrow the Emperor and start our own glorious Empire with all of us acting as the ruling council.
Discussing that where anyone close to Vader could hear you: Suicidally retarded.

Thinking it would actually work: Suicidally retarded.

Thinking that you wouldn't wind up murdering each other until only one remained: You know the drill.

You know, just once, I'd like to see a Sith campaign that was about exploring the corruption inherent in a Sith run empire. Instead of a campaign that boils down to "Be as evil as possible and murder EVERYTHING."

>>22889938

My my my, someone's awfully touchy for no reason.

>lol random group who only think about combat

We've played plenty of games without much combat. This one we didn't take seriously. Big fucking whoop.

>You're a shit head...

Only reason I say it was gay is because the character was some bullshit Mary Sue, and also because he was able to end the DM's encounters before they even began. I'm all for characters that negotiate. I'm not for characters that just end a fucking fight by using their Force magic to give the opponent an offer they literally can not refuse.

>the rest

We thought we were alone in the room, and there were no cameras we could see anywhere. It's not like we purposely were around people. Also, the rest was just your typical Sith dick showing. They're all about going "hurr I be Emprur one day." And about us murdering each other, well, yeah, no shit, but we were going to deal with it when we got there.

>>22890087
I don't see anything wrong with running a silly themed game, even if it was silly only because that's the way it ended up, like about 80% of the games I've wound up in. And for context on that last bit when considering games with evil aligned PCs the number of games that ended up silly bumps up to 99%. A lot of people just have trouble getting into seriously dark players. Give them time to write up a backstory, sure, they'll get it. But once it comes time to make snap decisions in the games advancing plot it tends to get over-the-top and less and less serious. Don't get me wrong, there's usually a few players who can consistently manage some dark, spin a decent Nietzsche-esque character or run a damn decent Machiavelli but I've never managed to find a fully group manage that consistently over the course of a campaign. Evil themed games are always, always at risk of something derailing them. You can do it if you're willing to put time into it, but, hell, what can I say, sometimes the over-the-top stuff is too funny to pass up.

>>22890087
You're a shithead for the whole "It's gay" and cited that you could only remember he tried using diplomacy on everything. That makes you look like a douche.

As for the rest, I'm mostly just fucking with you/venting to rid myself of boredom.

So yeah, I'm kind of a bitch. Sorry.

Would still really rather see a game where Sith AREN'T dick waving dipshits, though. Like have a campaign where you're playing the Emperor's personal hit squad, sent out to investigate rebel spies and sympathizers, spread propaganda and occasionally wipe out some of those rebels. But while you're doing that, you're working on political connections and considering when to withhold information and when to lie for your benefit.

I'd consider Sith games far more interesting if any player could stick to the subtlety angle that kept Sith alive, rather than just stabbing and stealing like any other murder hobo.

>>22890614

>You're a shithead for the whole "It's gay" and cited that you could only remember he tried using diplomacy on everything. That makes you look like a douche.

True enough. I was mostly just saying that because he's our group's That Guy so most of his characters end up being awful, awful Mary Sues.

>Would still really rather see a game where Sith AREN'T dick waving dipshits, though.

I'd love that too. Unfortunately, that requires a group of good roleplayers and, aside from a few of us, that's not my group. Most of them couldn't even roleplay as themselves if asked to. One guy once made a character that didn't even have a name until the second session. It's depressing.

>>22890614
>You're a shithead
My apologies, I meant that it makes you LOOK like a shithead, not that you necessarily are. You actually seem fairly reasonable for an anon.

>>22890453
>You can do it if you're willing to put time into it, but, hell, what can I say, sometimes the over-the-top stuff is too funny to pass up.
Well, yeah. In my experience at least, most players equate "evil" with "murders everything for no reason."

But I think an evil campaign would work best if the group NEEDS to stay relatively low profile or risk swarms of SWAT equivalent guys busting down their door and filling them with holes.

Evil NEEDS to be subtle and secret to survive.

>>22890772
>True enough. I was mostly just saying that because he's our group's That Guy so most of his characters end up being awful, awful Mary Sues.
Dare I ask for details? Context would be helpful in understanding where you're coming from.

>Most of them couldn't even roleplay as themselves if asked to. One guy once made a character that didn't even have a name until the second session. It's depressing.
Wow, that's... sad. I've been in groups with the occasional player or two who couldn't roleplay worth shit (and been that player on a couple of occasions, especially when I had insomnia), but they could still do better than that.

Even my latest group's bard could play a total douche well, despite being a fairly affable guy himself. (Given, he wasn't -trying- to play a douche...)

'Cept this one player I knew, where all of his characters were just himself with the fat and neck hairs replaced with muscles and where his anarchist wants-to-be-ubermensc-but-doesn't-grasp-the-true-concept personality isn't just feeble dick waving.

Basically, you could use some new blood. Maybe if they see some decent roleplaying in action they can pick up on it a little?

>>22890949

>Dare I ask for details? Context would be helpful in understanding where you're coming from.

He has played (or tried to in the cases where the DM rejected him), off the top of my head:
>a gunslinger bounty hunter with a demon trapped in his arm that accidentally killed a whole town, and because of that he's a pacifist and he's got a billion platinum bounty on his head so yeah, he's the main character from TrigunAlso it has to be pointed out this character attacked a ship's crew in order to gain passage and then later burned it down for absolutely no reason. Some pacifist, right?
>a Magus right after that last character that came from another plane (something I had already done with my character) who had a DEVIL in his arm and had a couple of cohorts named after the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
>He tried to play an elf (specifically a drow) in a setting where the DM explicitly stated that elves were extinct
>about 20 different "dethroned princes out for revenge"

It's actually hard for me to remember more, because his characters tend to sorta run together in my head, and also because he dies more often than any of us (due to his fucking stupidity at times, like the time we were on the living plane and he, for no reason, drove a nail into its wall, causing him to be attacked by giant white blood cells).

>>22882403
Man, now I want a starwars game that plays out like a buddy cop film. Gruff old jedi knight and his hotshot padawan getting yelled at by their temple master about light sabering public property and being caught playing mind tricks on innocent civilians making the jedi order look bad.

>>22890949

>Basically, you could use some new blood. Maybe if they see some decent roleplaying in action they can pick up on it a little?

This isn't a bad idea. It should be noted that the guy who was playing the Hutt and myself are both roleplayers, preferring to make characters that are more fun to act out as than actually fun to play as. Unfortunately, everyone else... doesn't really share that viewpoint. One of them is getting better, but he's got a ways to go. And as for the guy I mentioned, who didn't have a name until session two? It's doubtful he's ever going to get better, because any time we're in a town roleplaying, he's always on his fucking laptop, looking at fantasy football or checking Facebook. We want to talk to him about it but he always gets really upset while we're playing (seriously, you tell him he failed a Fort or a Will save and he goes berserk sometimes) and we're not really anxious to see how he'd react to that.

As for bringing in new blood, that might work, it's hard to tell. I want to try playing at our FLGS instead of at our friend's house, see if we can get some new people in our games and see how that works out. But I just don't know.

>>22891223
My god, that's terrible.

And way to shit all over a Vash expy. "I'm a pacifist! *murderhobo*"

>>22891324
>preferring to make characters that are more fun to act out as than actually fun to play as.
I know the feeling. Though personally, I like taking a non-standard concept and making it work mechanically without being totally crippled. Though that's more so my character isn't dragging the team down. I couldn't give a fuck about being the best, but I don't want to be terrible, right?

>Fantasy football or Facebook
>Goes berserk if he fails a fort or will save
...You may have a second That Guy.

But you're rarely worse off for getting new players, unless the group gets too big to manage. Hell, I once invited some players into my group that turned out to be total shit, but just their (aggravating) presence helped me learn more about my particular style of DMing and how to handle assholes in my group.

So I'm serious when I say that it can't hurt. Though explaining to berserker (away from any blunt instruments) that everyone would appreciate him being more attentive during the game might help. Try broaching the subject gently, though, like saying you'd like it if he got more involved or something.

>>22892230

>I couldn't give a fuck about being the best, but I don't want to be terrible, right?

Yeah, exactly. I mean I'm not using Con as a dump stat or anything crazy like that, but if my character is only defined by "I do crazy combo make thing kill dead" then I'm simply not interested in playing it.

>...You may have a second That Guy.

Worst part is that he's such a nice guy outside of the game, that when he does this shit it's just hard to believe, ya know? I mean, he's basically the opposite of what you just said: he wants his characters to EXCEL in whatever they're good at. His last character was an Assassin, and at a point where most of the players had about 25-30 AC, his was in the low 40's. It was nuts. Then he had some item that let him turn ethereal for a really long time (like minutes at a time). We somehow got into a discussion on certain parts of the party being OP, and that item got brought up. He flipped. The fuck. Out.

He starts saying how my character was broken and how this other guy's character was broken, and how he'll just "erase the item from his character sheet." So we're all like, no, man, it's okay, really. We all have things that make us a little overpowered, it's cool. But even after that he just kept going on about it, with us just telling him it was fine, until finally he erased it from his sheet in a huff.

>Try broaching the subject gently

I'm DM for our next campaign, and I'm gonna have to try this... Hope it doesn't set him off.

>>22892428
Is he bi-polar? I mean that as a sincere question. He sounds like he's either under massive stress from something or he needs to see a doctor.

If he's going "My character is going to be AWESOME and this will be great!" one minute then one comment sets off into a raging fit followed by erasing the item without further discussion... Hints at a much deeper problem.

I've got one player who is the nicest, kindest girl I know, great for coming up with ideas and really gets into the game... And without any warning at all she can turn into a depressed mess that goes on and on about how she's terrible and worthless, despite how I cite all the evidence to the contrary. I speak from experience when I say this stuff is hard to bring up, but really -needs- to be addressed, often for the person's own benefit.

>>22892705

I'm certain he's not bipolar, but the stress thing is something I never even considered. I mean, he's in some pretty high level college courses, so maybe that's been stressing him out or something. Because really I can honestly say that he's never been this way before recently.

I think it's about time my group and I talked to him about this shit...

>>22892799
Definitely points towards stress. A group intervention might work, if he's not too receptive to talking about his problems.

I can't claim an accurate assessment, since I don't know him personally, but it sounds to me like he's under a lot of pressure to succeed, worried he won't and that's manifesting through creating "the best" characters he can and reacting negatively if he feels their legitimacy is being threatened or if he feels he's considered a cheater.

Again, I don't know if what I'm taking from this is accurate or not, so take my advice with a grain of salt. I'm not a trained psychologist, anyway.

>>22892939

Weird thing is he's always been a min-maxer, even before this started. I remember his cavalier... and his cleric. Oh god, those fucking characters broke encounters over their knees. But at that point he never really got upset when he had to take saves. He'd just roll it and, well, roll with it.

So yeah, guess I'll talk to my group about it next time we're over there... Hopefully we can get this all sorted out.

Anyway, it's been fun talking to you tonight Anon. Hope you have a wonderful night, or day, wherever the hell you are.

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>>22882911

>tfw someone else posts your OC

I made this just for you, anon

>>22893031
>Cavalier. Cleric.
Those came pre-broken, so it's not like he had to try.

Best of luck to you.

And I'm in Alaska, so lately it's been nothing but night.

>>22882960
I laughed my anus out of my body.

Great story, OP

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>>22882960

That was some funny shit OP.

>>22893066

> Traveler

I forgot about that game. I always was quite fond of it (except the aliens)

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>>22883774
>power routed through floor
The potential for shenanigans...

>>22889082
> Double Underlines
Uh, you might want to check your browser for malware, buddy.
Just thought I should warn ya.

>>22890826
>But I think an evil campaign would work best if the group NEEDS to stay relatively low profile or risk swarms of SWAT equivalent guys busting down their door and filling them with holes.

>Evil NEEDS to be subtle and secret to survive.
Fucking this. Nowhere in the Sith creed does it mention being a murderhobo nor an EMPARAH. I dare say that your average bounty hunter is a better Sith than any of the real ones ever presented.

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>I'm playing a black demolition man with shades

>>22891278

>"Goddamit, Ku'ra Man'ru! You're giving me ulcers on my ulcers! I just got a call from the planetary governor asking WHY all his personal shuttles were sinking in the swamp! Then you come here and tell me a little green man said you had to? I'm three days from retirement, for crying out loud! hand over your light saber! You are suspended until further notice! And don't go chasing Sith on your own, you hear me?!"

If it helps, this is the video that inspired us to make an A-Team Star Wars party:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWR0_0YaEzI

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The force is strong with this one