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>here's the current world map
>you and your companions are currently in Newport
>you and Varaia are in a bar in the Seelie district, while Jack is off writing letters to friends in Mildania to prepare them for the group's arrival
>you're set to take a ship to Mildania tomorrow; Mildania is the island nation south of Newport; Mild is the capitol city, one of the eight Great Dwarven Holds

I forget, have we checked out the Unseelie compound? If not, we should.

>>22805848
>you walked around in the area, yes
>you went to a Seelie book store and an Unseelie book store to compare their extremely-biased histories

Let's walk around town, then. We're not staying as long as we'd hoped to and we can crack open the books on the ship.

Lets go through the checklist.

[ ] Do a little dance.
[ ] Make a little love.
[ ] Get down tonight.

How are we doing on these key points?

>>22806089

What he said. What kind of bard are we if we don't wander aimlessly around town?

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"Let's just wander around town for a while," you say to Varaia. Since this looks like it will be your last day in town, you may as well get some sights in.

"I like the sound of that," says Varaia. She's been wide-eyed and taking in the sights since you arrived anyway.

You two set off, taking one more look at the Seelie and Unseelie districts before wandering out into other areas. You walk through downtown, look at the shops filled with various unusual or useful items, see boutiques that sell luxury goods worth more than everything your entire group owns put together. You take a walk through a park that feels open and fantastic to you, but Varaia calls 'disappointing.'

It's a pretty nice city, all things considered, though it's east to forget that there's practically an entire second city down in the Understreets. You wonder if Mild will be like this, or maybe Mild will be entirely underground instead of partially above it.

As your walk with Varaia starts winding down, you realize that you're at the edge of where the orcish ghetto starts. You can see a lot of rough-looking orcs - it's honestly hard to tell whether they're thugs or just blue collar workers - walking the streets. You recall what Earl said on the ride into the city - that you could find him at Saint Martin's if you wanted to talk - but you're not sure whether or not it's a good idea to walk into the neighborhood without Jack watching your back, or at least a weapon in case things get ugly.

What now?

>>22806299
we should really get a good guitar
then have jack help us find Saint Martin's and chat with Earl dude was pretty cool

>is nobody around or has interest waned in this quest?
>I'll bump this thread once in a couple hours if more people don't show up before then

>>22806404
seconded

We should see if Jack is free at the moment and then try and find Earl

That's some nice drawfaggotry, OP. Is it new?
>>22806299

Let's not go looking for trouble, and entering orc slums without Jack or a gun is just that. We'll have enough waiting for us where we're headed. The gentleman who gave us a ride will have to wait for our next visit in the town.

>>22806605
thirded. lets upgrade.

>>22806736
>That's some nice drawfaggotry, OP. Is it new?

>in the OP?
>yes, it is
>Owlface made it for us; isn't that fantastic?

>>22806798
also tonight try recharging our wand gun

You decide you've gone long enough without an upgrade. You ask around until you find a decent store for musical instruments. When you arrive, you find it staffed by little folk from both courts, and a couple that look wild.

As you walk in, one of them yells at you, "Hey! Hey, lady! Leave that piece of shit guitar outside or something. I don't want anyone thinking you got it here, that would ruin our reputation."

You give him a wry grin, but do as he says, and lean the guitar up outside the door. You doubt that someone would really want to steal it, and even if they do, it was cheap, and you're about to upgrade.

"So, what'll it be?" asks the Unseelie goblin. "Some new strings for your... 'guitar' out there?"

"I was actually hoping to make an upgrade," you say. "It's been a while since I've had both money and a selection."

"Well, why didn't you say so in the first place?" he asks; you're not sure whether his exasperated outrage is real or not. "Come on, let's take a look at the stock and find you something you like."

You spend the next hour trying out guitars, violins, mandolins, and even a few horns, before you've got it narrowed down to three. There's a nice guitar with rich sound and a sturdy frame, a good violin that would probably be sufficient for orchestral play, and a trumpet with a clear, smooth sound to it. Each of them has clear advantages and disadvantages to someone in your current position, and each are comparably priced.

Which one do you go for?

>>22806965
tough choice....

>>22806798

Yes, yes it is. Cheers, Owlface!

>>22806965

>sturdy frame
Take that one. In event of necessity we can also apply it to curb untoward advances.
>guitar
even better, something we're accustomed to.

>>22807024

(Not that I would wish to perform such a sacrilege with a musical instrument. But in case of danger it's always better to have the option.)

>>22807024

Seconded. Let's get Guitar mk 2.

>>22807042
Agreed. plus you can't have a wicked guitar solo without a guitar...

>>22807024
>>22806736
>>22806798
also thanks guys, it got all warm and fuzzy and shit....

It's a tough choice, but you have to go with the guitar. It's got a sturdy frame, it doesn't require a bow, it doesn't stop you from singing, there's the familiarity factor, and, of course, you can't have a guitar solo without a guitar. You make your purchase - a couple hundred crowns - and head out.

You decide that now would be a good time to stop back at the hotel. After all, you need to drop off your old guitar, put your weapons in their fancy new holsters, and see if Jack is available.

When you get back, Jack is in the room, leaning against the open window frame and staring out at the ocean. He doesn't turn around when you two walk in. "I never thought I would be going back to Mildania, you know? I never thought I would see home again."

That definitely strikes a chord with you, and you can feel Varaia tense up beside you. Neither of you think you'll ever see home again either; maybe you're both as wrong about that as he was? You doubt it, but can't keep from considering it.

"I got you a bag to carry your rifle in," you say, tossing his new bag on the bed. "We can probably stick that shotgun that Varaia's been carrying around in there too; I don't think anyone other than you will be using it." You start taking your weapons and putting them in their new holsters - the revolver at your shoulder, the wand gun in your waist band, and the knife in your boot. It feels good being armed again - should you be worried about that feeling?

What do you do now?

>>22807177
I say we take that new guitar for a spin

>>22805714
>You were a 30 year old awkward lonely overweight virgin neckbeard who lived in his mother's basement. You were granted the unusual birthday present of being turned into a petite female elven bard and dropped naked in the middle of a forest. You and the gentle orc ranger, Jack Carson, became traveling partners and recently lovers after he rescued you from the wilderness.

...god fucking dammit, /tg/ how many fucking transgender shitquests do we need?

>>22807177

How much time do we have before the ship leaves again?

We could read our magic book(s) a bit. If we're gonna have working trip, we will probably not have as much time or energy for this as we previously hoped.

Or we could try out our new guitar - in private or maybe in a nearby tavern, perhaps in hotel itself if proprietor wishes.

>>22807223
A lot, apparently, since that was the most-voted option in the first thread. MP allowed us to pick race, gender, appearance, and class as we pleased.

>>22807177

Try out our new toy. And get some infectious optimism going, dammit!
No being down allowed while we have an instrument in our hands!

>>22807253

We have THREE currently running quests like this. It's insane and creepy and jesus christ you guys just go masturbate before using /tg/.

I'm not saying quests are bad by nature, but all these transgendered creepy ones really are getting tiresome.

>>22807358
This and plum grab-able ass quest, which am I missing?

>>22807358
Perhaps you should actually read this quest before passing judgement based on one element that the players selected. This quest mostly focuses on exploration, western-style gunfights, and bardic antics. Unless you're just projecting your own discomfort with the one element into a broad dislike of anything containing it, in which case, do whatever floats your boat.

>>22807398
>He should probably skip the train ride, too much naughty in there.

>>22807358
so hide the thread. the rest of us are enjoying ourselves.

>>22807397

Succubus Lord quest.

>>22807426
Ah, never read that one.

>>22807398

Honestly though, it's a bit weird that if this had been a quest without the initial TG angle (IE just "you are a female bard") it would likely never have caught on. /tg/ really has an obsession with ugly dudes being turned into hot girls.

You decide to take your new guitar for a spin. After all, it's a nice guitar, and the mood in this room needs to be lightened. You decide against actually pumping any magic into the song, instead just making it happy and infectious by its own merit.

Within minutes, everyone is sitting and relaxing, enjoying the smell of the ocean and the music. The window is open, and you're sure that people can hear from the street; you hope you're providing a good atmosphere for them too.

You take breaks between songs to chat and smile and laugh and relax. By the time you actually feel done playing, afternoon is starting to melt into evening, and the sun is starting to hang low in the sky.

You could go get a nice seaside dinner with Jack and Varaia, or perhaps see if you could go visit Earl at Saint Martin's. There's also a boardwalk, a beach, and downtown, if you want to do something else.

What do you do with your evening?

>>22807223
>>22807358
>I apologize for following the votes of my players instead of your desires, I suppose
>if it makes you feel any better, the second-most-voted option in the first thread was for a male dwarven gunsmith, which I would have been equally content running
>feel free to reach the archives if you want, vote the archives down if you're still upset by this quest, hide the thread, continue to complain in the thread, or anything else that strikes your fancy
>have a fantastic Saturday

>>22807460

I don't know about it. I for one would have preferred a less neckbeardish backstory for the main character, but the quest itself seems rather enjoyable and well written.

although I can't say I'm comfortable with what was happening in the train. I was not playing back then though.

For the evening, I vote a nice relaxing dinner in, followed by Varaia telling us stories from her homeland and tribe. Jack's probably never heard them before, and we probably haven't either, not from her cultural perspective. And we can compare them to stories from home to see if it matches up with anything we've read/watched. Extra material to incorporate into a performance never hurts.

My father was a gambler down in Marsen
He wound up on the wrong end of a gun
And I was born in the back seat of a convoy train
Rollin' down railway forty-one

Lord, I was born a ramblin' man
Tryin' to make a livin' and doin' the best I can
And when it's time for leavin'
I hope you'll understand
That I was born a ramblin' man
I'm on my way to Mildania this mornin'
I'm leavin' out of Newport, over sea.
They're always having a good time down on the island
Lord, them Elven women think the world of me

>>22807549

/tg/ is always eager to take a thousand cocks at once

>>22807592
I hear the train a comin'
It's rolling round the bend
And I ain't seen the sunshine since I don't know when,
I'm stuck in Folsom prison, and time keeps draggin' on
But that train keeps a rollin' on down to Sirocco..
When I was just a baby my mama told me. Son,
Always be a good boy, don't ever play with guns.
But I shot a man in Marsen just to watch him die
When I hear that whistle blowing, I hang my head and cry..

>>22807590
seconding

>>22807536
>>I apologize for following the votes of my players instead of your desires, I suppose

Perhaps you should have shown better judgment.

>>22807592
Orc Jesus just left Mildania and he's bound for Gulai.
Well now, Orc Jesus just left Mildania and he's bound for Gulai.
Yeah, yeah.
Workin' from one end to the other and all points in between.

Took a jump through Graia, well, muddy water turned to wine.
Took a jump through Graia, muddy water turned to wine.
Yeah, yeah.
Then out to Arcadia through the forests and the pines.

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>>22807699

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>>22807699

>>22807590
thirding?

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>>22807699

>>22807749
>>22807752
>>22807761

he was just expressing his opinion, annoying as it were. Let's get back to the adventure.

>>22807778
yes, lets.

A nice dinner sounds good. Best to relax while we can before shit hits the fan again.

Frost Giantess quest also started as "dude wakes up in fantasy world as a chick" and look how good that turned out.

Granted, that one didn't have the main character start lusting for orc dick...

>>22807872
I actually didn't much care for FGQ for exactly that reason. Had there been no genderbender faggotry, I would've found the story much more enjoyable.

You decide that what tonight needs is a nice dinner. After all, last night was fantastic, and you're not sure how much time to relax you'll have once you get to Mildania. You head out down the beach with Jack and Varaia until you find a nice place with fresh seafood and an ocean view. You all eat and talk and relax and have a little bit of wine.

"Varaia," you say. "I didn't realize until today how differently the two Courts and the Wild Elves see things. Could you tell me stories from home? I'm really interested in hearing them."

Jack nods his agreement. "In all the years I lived in Arcadia, I never got to hear anything from any of the natives other than a stern threat."

Varaia gulps - you don't think she likes being put on the spot like this. "Okay, uh, how about the story I was telling you about back at the book store? Back at the beginning - the beginning of everything - there were only the fae, no humans, no orcs, no dwarves, no giants, nothing but the Sidhe and the Little Folk. Back then, all the fae were free, beholden to none but their friends and their tribe."

She takes a sip of wine.

"But then, after ages forgotten, two great tribes, their lands on the rivers of Marsen, went to war with each other. All other fae in Marsen were forced to ally with one or the other, or face destruction in the crossfire. It was terrible, a war unlike anything until eons later, when the Horde swept the continent."

..::||continued||::..

>>22807892
"The war waged for many generations of fae - a length of time incomprehensible to the child races, and barely comprehensible even to the fae. It was a stalemate, though, as they were too evenly matched. Both tribes, in desperation or hatred, went to the great manitou of Seelie and Unseelie, unbeknownst to the other. The shaman of one tribe made the pact with Seelie, and became vessel and vassal to its power, Titania, queen of Seelie. The witch-queen of the other made the same pact with Unseelie, becoming the terrifying Queen Mab."

She finishes her glass of wine.

"The strange pacts and oaths of fealty made the fae of these new Courts be twisted in shape and mind, the Sidhe taking strange colours and the Little Folk strange faces. It did end the war, though, at least overtly, though the Courts still plot and assassinate and make small conflicts and hate to this day. The fae of Sirocco never joined courts, as we had never been part of the war, but now that Marsen is extending its reach year by year deeper and more thoroughly into Sirocco, it may finally be time for me and my kind to choose sides, or die as relics of the past."

She clears her throat. She looks embarrassed.

"Or that's the story that I was told. More or less."

Well, you doubt you would have been given a perspective like that from one of the Courts, but you can't help but wonder how biased that version was too.

What do you do with the rest of your evening and night, if anything?

>>22807699
>feel free to vote the quest down in the archives, minimize the thread, keep complaining about something that you're not participating in, or even feel free to try to participate and take it in a direction of your likeing
>and again, have a fantastic day

>>22807358
>>22807397
At least Ass Quest is about trying to get your dick BACK, not sucking other peoples dicks.

>>22807890
>I actually didn't much care for FGQ for exactly that reason. Had there been no genderbender faggotry, I would've found the story much more enjoyable.

It was a really really minor part of the storyline and didn't even factor in after the first few threads.

Also never led to any sex. So.

>>22807925
All the same, it just made the whole thing stupid to me.

>>22807919
Just because this quest featured sucking a dick at one point doesn't mean that's what it's about. This quest is about a person from the real world who was obsessed with escapist fantasies living and traveling in a fantasy world with ample opportunity for escape. I feel like the fact that the protagonist is embracing the escape into a new life and identity instead of trying to get back their old one is a really interesting part of the direction the players have taken the character.

>>22807536
>>22807917
No offense, but you sound like kind of a douche.

>>22807962
that was uncalled for.

>>22807962
>then I apologize for that too

>>22807989
I'm not even the guy who was ranting about the quest, either.

>>22807901
Entertain brief, but ultimately doomed thoughts of unifying wild elves into a third court organized like the 5 Nations.

>>22807940
>All the same, it just made the whole thing stupid to me.

Why? Why does that make it inherently more stupid?

>>22807962
That Guy never recognizes that he is That Guy.

>>22807959

Which, let's face it, is the impossible dream a lot of /tg/ has. Now on my part, I would have preferred if this quest had the protagonist not magically fitting into their role and just constantly having spaghetti falling out of her pants when she tried to act like an elf or a chick. You can't put a fa/tg/uy in a hot elf girl's body and get a hot elf girl. You get an awkward socially inept dude trying to pretend to be a girl.

>>22808059
>And I'm not talking about MP here.

>>22808079
>that's actually what I was going to have happen if you had picked literally any class other than Bard or something else with necessarily high Charisma and social skills
>unfortunately, social skills are part and parcel for a bard

>>22808035

this. Maybe we could turn this into an epic goal for the whole quest.

>>22808202

That's retarded. Charisma isn't about looks alone, or even about smooth-talking. It's a combined force of personality, appearance, demeanor, everything. Saying you could automatically jack someone's charisma up means you have changed the person's entire personality around. Which makes the entire premise of the quest entirely fucking pointless, doesn't it?

>>22808035
Not a terrible idea. Is there another great manitou spirit that doesn't already have a court? And were the great spirits always hostile to each other or is that somethin they've adopted from the fae they've bonded to?

As for what to do the res of the night, we can round-robin our stories. Varaia told part of her people's version of history, now we have jack relate what he grew up learning of the orcish bible, then we'll tell some of the history of our world or the parts of whatever religion we grew up with as best we remember it. Full cultural exchange.

>>22808253
>didn't pay attention to the first arc, where the protagonist was extremely concerned about perceived changes to their personality and their capacity to operate socially

>>22808274

And yet "got over it".

>>22808271
I don't think we've told them our original gender....I vote we keep it that way...

>>22808319

Do I even need to say it?

>wizard did it.

>>22808368

You're not making your case more compelling.

>>22808253
It's not about looks, it's about having an entire well-written character backstory and skillset converted into memories and overlayed into the protagonist's mind Total Recall style.

>>22808465
Well we didn't really get a backstory. Just the skills really.

>>22807901

Do we still have the shitty, old gutair? If so lets give Varaia it and tell her to play a lullaby.

Also love Owlface's new artwork in the first post!

thanks /tg/!

A socially awkward bard will be my next character.

>>22808274
I guess orc jizz is the solution to all metaphysical concerns.

>>22808465

Which should be a mind-rendingly, pants-shittingly horrifying experience. Not "oh goodie, now I can go suck cocks!"

"Would it be possible for the Wild Elves to become their own court instead of dispersing into the other two?" you ask. You actually found that story really interesting. "Like, find their own great manitou, get their own queen, that sort of thing?"

"I have no clue," says Varaia, frankly. "I mean, maybe? First you would have to unify all of the tribes, then find a great manitou - I don't even know of any left other than the Sun - then become a Court without getting killed by the other Courts, when they have all the infrastructure and we don't. I guess it's possible, but I wouldn't even know where to start. I don't even know who would know."

Well, that's interesting regardless. Maybe it's something that bears thinking about later. The three of you finish your dinner and head back to the hotel.

"How do orcs see their history?" you ask Jack.

"I'm not sure, really," he says. "Not a lot of our culture is intact in Marsen, and I've never been to Graia. I can tell you what I've read in the bible, but..."

"Go ahead with that, then. I'm interested," you say.

Jack shrugs and starts. "Well, in the beginning, everyone lived apart from each other. It was just families and sometimes tribes, each with their own god to worship and be protected by. Still, everything was family, and everything your family had ever done, good or bad, was on your shoulders too, no matter whether you wanted it to be or not."

..::||continued||::..

>>22808604
Really? Do you know someone that this has happened to? I mean, surely you wouldn't be talking out your ass about a fantastic situation that has never occurred unless you had personal experience in the matter

>>22808657
"So, the families and tribes lived and grew. Sometimes they would fight, and the losers would get absorbed by the winners, growing larger. Those who lost also lost their gods - which were really part of the family - so it was a big deal."

Jack scratches his beard. You don't think he tells stories very often.

"Eventually, there were seven kingdoms on Graia. Seven gods. Then a man came walking out of the wastes - a great warrior and a natural king, born of a virgin raped by God himself. He single-handedly conquered one kingdom, then led that kingdom against the next, and the next. Then there was just the Horde, and he was its leader. The old seven gods were gone, leaving only God as the one true god, and the old seven kings were his advisors."

Jack does a poor job pantomiming the conquering of the savior.

"They hated him, and hated what he had done, because he had cast down their families. So they betrayed him, chained him to a rock and left him for the scavengers. The pain of his death broken the shackles of all people to the guilt of their ancestors, just as he was shackled to that rock."

Jack frowns. It looks like he's not satisfied with his storytelling skills.

"Then the seven warlords led the Horde against Marsen, but it collapsed after they died due to infighting, as almost all orcs were of the true faith long before the savior was killed. The rest is history, I guess."

Do you tell them a story from your culture or anything else before bed?

>>22808604

Man. Realize where you are. This is /tg/. Can't blame OP if more than one cock-craving anonymous posts in a thread and OP decides to humour him when it seems to be the consensus.

/tg/, when all is said and done, does want to be the little girl.

>>22808604
Every time it's been brought up - and it's been brought up steadily less and less - the protagonist found it incredibly disturbing and actively made a point of not thinking about it because of the implications and the inability to do anything about it. You're absolutely right, it should be, and is, pants-shittingly horriftying. The protagonist, though, being at heart an escapist neckbeard, chooses to avoid the problem and enjoy his fantasies rather than actually address the issue. It's like you're only selectively reading the parts where the protagonist is intimate with their boyfriend.

>>22808604
>cocks
Cock. Singular. The character isn't suddenly going around slutting it up, they're entering into a risky romantic relationship with the only safe person(s) in their life, and dealing with the consequences therein.

>>22808667

We could tell him about Christianity and stuff. Might be cool because of the simularities.

>>22808710

And this is why the Quest fails. Because the TG element is there but by its nature it has no effect on the plot. It literally only exists for people to fap over.

>>22808680


A small but vocal group of neckbeards lacking the spine to go through with their crossdressing fantasies in real life keep claiming the "/tg/ is for TG!" shit. Always have, always will.

>>22808680
>/tg/, when all is said and done, does want to be the little girl.
I certainly don't and I'm really fucking tired of the same people claiming I do in every fucking thread and trying to turn otherwise normal threads into transgender bullshit.

>>22808760
That's actually a pretty good idea. Might need to go through the Old Testament first.

>>22808942
This was never a normal thread, so why are you here?

>>22808967

It had an option of what kind of character to play and a bunch of samefagging transformation fetishists went "LOL HOT ELF GURL" whereas most of the rest (me included) voted dwarf. It could have been a great quest.

>>22808967
I just wanted to speak out against that one statement.

Besides, if you guys have free agency to shit up any thread you want with TG fetish shit, I should be allowed to shit up your TG fetish quests every once in a while.

>>22808990
I was actually under the impression that most of the 'gunsmith' votes were samefagged. Since, you know, they kept saying 'gunsmith.' Instead of 'gunslinger.' Which is clearly what they meant.

>>22808990
so go start your own dwarf quest?

>>22808990
>My side didn't win.
>You guys cheated.

>>22808965

It might invite more trolling though. Except the one that already rustles through the thread I mean. Perhaps a snippet of a better known history would be preferable? Such as, I don't know, the cold war? Or some better known epic, like Odyssey or Gilgamesh? Or king Arthur? Founding of Rome?

>>22808990

As far as I recall, it was the case of elf bard getting high dice roll and few people voted for it just because of that, or perhaps thinking that the roll mattered. The dwarf (which I would've preferred as well, but this is proceeding well enough) only came later into the thread.

>from where I'm sitting, this thread looks derailed, since there have only been two votes in a waterfall of argument
>should I just go ahead and archive the thread, or should I wait for you guys to decide what to do?
>your call

Hot damn, just look at that new opening art. Good job Owlface.

>>22808996

Exactly this.

Whenever someone speaks up against the TG shittery that is plagueing this board they always get drowned out by a few people rushing to the defense with "/tg/ is for TG!" and "everyone wants to be the little girl!". Keeping the sane, serious point of view becomes something you're ridiculed for.

>>22809077
Keep going. If you archive this, those who are calling this a failed quest would win, and they will keep trolling at any subsequent thread.

Personally, I would prefer to not jump into religious discussions, so we should not bring that topic into this quest. Plus, eventually it will appear the edgy kid who claims "Gods are for idiots and such".

>>22809106
In my experience, most fa/tg/uys do have a TG fetish, and will discuss it at length on 4chan, but go out of their way to avoid involving it in actual play, with a few people spamming their dislike of the fetish into anything involving any traces of it and refusing to actually participate in any discussions of it, even if only to say, 'this isn't really something I'm into, but I'm not really upset or anything.' Instead, it's people with persecution complexes about being 'normal' and people whose stances are NOTHING SEXUAL IN MY /tg/ EVER YOU ARE RUINING EVERYTHING.

Perhaps you and I have been seeing different threads.

>>22809085
y-you too
Thanks!
>>22809129
This. lets continue, but ease off on the religious stuff, for now at least. there will be plenty of that when if we get to orc mecca.

>>22809075
And only got one vote.

>>22809166

I have no persecution complex.

Wanting to switch sexes is a masturbation fantasy. I recognize it as such, even if I do not share it. Now, I don't share my masturbation fantasies with /tg/, nor do I constantly try to force them into Quests or any unrelated threads.

Why can you guys not show the same common courtesy?

There's loads of TG threads on /d/ for you to blow your loads over.

Can we just ignore the hater(s) and get back to the quest? If they're that butthurt they can start their own quest.

Fuck you guys. Seriously. I'm a rabid catholic homophobe and I don't enjoy the backstory, but aside from that the quest is pretty good and shows promise. Then some WBC shitposter comes in expressing his distaste on how "deviate fetish shit is ruining the christian board" and now we have half posts of shitposting. Including this one.

Sorry, OP. You're doing well.

>>22809166
>Perhaps you and I have been seeing different threads.
Maybe, because I remember shit like a completely normal Thri-Kreen thread - I know, I know, but there was actually next to no bugtits in it for once - getting derailed by two people spoiler-wanking back and forth about the idea of a party of male adventurers getting transformed into female Thri-Kreen and learning to love bugdicks. Once they started up, everyone else abandoned the thread since it was no longer about anything fun to talk about for the rest of us and it became yet another TG fetish thread.

And this happens all the fucking time and some of us are sick of it.

>>22809206
Because it's an option. Feel free to share your masturbation fantasies in threads too - or even start a quest revolving around them. It won't bother me at all.

But you do absolutely have a persecution complex. It's about being normal and not unnecessarily sexual in the open and the perceived oppression of other people being sexual and not caring about your opinions. Regardless of whether your perceptions are accurate, your complex concerning them is extremely obvious.

>>22809220
This? Why is so hard to ignore trolls and keep going?

>>22808990
There was one vote for dwarf, that was yours, not a single other person voted dwarf.

>>22809220

(Been lurking since the beginning, haven't posted yet. Sadly it took this to get me to, and for that I apologize.)

Agree. I vote for story time, just try to keep it somewhat neutral, and no "hurr god is dumbs" comments.

Guys
Hey, hey guys.
I have a revolutionary new idea, seriously-
Guys listen
I have this new idea guys.
We just ignore the people arguing, and get back to the quest.

With that in mind:
>>22808667
I assume we were from the US? Tell them a bit about what we know of ancient history, glance over the Hellenistic, Roman, and Medieval eras, touch on the renaissance and then move on to the Industrial era. Make sure we focus on the role the US plays in world events after we win our independence, and give the War of American Independence a spotlight.

>>22808760
Seconded.

>>22809077

I'm okay with whatever but I'd like the story to keep going. I don't want this to end because some guy was trolling and a bunch of people got mad and had an argument.

Also if you guys think talking about real world religious stuff will cause problems then I'll withdraw my vote for telling Jack about Chistian stuff.

>>22809303

Actually, better idea :)

Whatever happens next, this thread is fucked. I vote stop it, resume another day.

>>22809256
>But you do absolutely have a persecution complex. It's about being normal and not unnecessarily sexual in the open and the perceived oppression of other people being sexual and not caring about your opinions. Regardless of whether your perceptions are accurate, your complex concerning them is extremely obvious.

So because you have a fetish you automatically are allowed a carte blanche to have everyone enter your magical realm in any fucking thread you want, derailing it and turning it to shit?

And I'm the one being an ass?

It appears trollfag has left, voting against telling them about our dimension religions.

>>22809347

Actually, I think it looks hopeful.

I suggested >>22809052, but >>22809303 has a better idea, so I change my vote to that. It could be inspiring.

You consider telling Jack about Christianity, Judaism, and Islam, since Orcish Catholicism seems similar in a few ways to each of them, but decide against it. Comparative religion discussion is probably best saved for when you've had some time to think about it in advance and haven't just had a fair bit of wine with dinner. After all, you wouldn't want to leave anyone offended.

You, Jack, and Varaia curl up to go to sleep. Tomorrow's going to be the first day on a whole new leg of the journey. You half-hum, half-sing a few lullabies as the three of you drift off to sleep.

Jack's the first one to wake up the next morning, and he wakes both you and Varaia up to make sure you're ready to go nice and early. You pack up what little is left and wonder idly about whether there will be space for both of your guitars on the ship. Jack checks you out of the hotel while you and Varaia get some breakfast from a roadside stand across the street.

When you arrive at the ship, you see that some cargo is still being loaded, that the work day is already started. Jack gets put to work immediately with the loading - he passes his bags off to you and Varaia so he can work. You two get shown to where you'll be bunking, then presented with the question.

"So, you two don't look too big. What can you do? Cook? Clean?"

What sort of job are you going to volunteer for? Music probably isn't an option, you think.

>>22809303

Lets use our illusion powers to make a giant flag behind us while playing the anthem on our gutair!

Time for lightheartedness!

>>22809413

Suggest it anyway. I'm sure sailors can use some relaxation as well, and it's what we're best at.

Barring that, does our bardic knowledge include cooking? I somehow suspect we'll end up stuck swabbing the deck.

>>22809371
No, because this is an anonymous image board, I can introduce any content I want as long as it doesn't break the rules, with the understanding that I'm not in control of the discussion and might not find anyone who wants to talk about the same things as me - or might find them, and might have a good time. You know, like how you're automatically allowed to post how butthurt you are in this thread. The difference is that I post because I want to have a discussion that I find enjoyable, while you're complaining because you have a persecution complex related to my posting habits.

>>22809413
Ah... so no sing... huh... play movies?

Ok, seriously, what else does our char knows other than sing and bard stuff? I guess we can try cooking, it wasn't so bad back when Jack found us at the forest.

>>22809443
If I remember right, we were pretty good at cooking back when we were staying with Jack in his cabin in the woods.

>>22809256
You cannot deny that people posting endlessly back and forth about their niche fetishes or dumping porn have the similar effect of driving off all legitimate discussion.

>>22809413
we've used domestic spells to repair and clean our clothes...surely we can expand on that?

>>22809461
Yeah, but Jack would ate boiled shoes if we gave them to him. He used to eat... I don't remember, but it was kind of simple shit.

>>22809413

We made some tasty stew back in Jack's little house plus we can hum while cooking.

Varaia can do cleaning because why not.

>>22809475
Oh, that's true. If we used our utility magic, we would probably do fantastic simple repair and cleaning work around the ship.

>>22809482

I think he made eggs. Plus back then we were some random naked chick who kicked him in the balls. He didn't love us yet.

>>22809413
Well we know we can cook, we can also clean. We can act as a morale officer, AKA play music and take care of movies.

>>22809534
We don't know that he loves us yet now. Just because you care for someone and are romantically involved with them doesn't necessarily mean you love them.

>>22809558
I get the feeling he doesn't 'love' Nona but there is the possibility of it in the future. Which, really, is just your basic healthy relationship.

>>22809581
And about where the relationship should be at this point, really. I mean, we've known him for, what, two months now? That's a good place to be.

I just want to have a nice, simple Quest where a transgendered elf girl finds true love. Is that so much to ask without being trolled?

On a more serious note, small jobs sounds fine.

"Well, I'm not bad at cooking," you start with. "I know a fair bit of magic for cleaning and basic repairs. I can also do music and entertainment for people who are off-duty, if you're interested in that."

"We'll mostly be having you use that magic, then. If you want to do that entertaining during your own off hours, we would appreciate it, but when you're on duty you're to do real work. What about you, the brown elf?"

"I can clean, I suppose," says Varaia. "I'm really good at cooking, though, and in worse conditions than these." Huh. You guess it makes sense that she would have learned to cook while with her tribe and on the trail.

"We'll be putting you in the kitchens, then. You can pick your hours on the shift roster, but it's first come, first serve. Feel free to take a few minutes getting settled in, then you should go sign up and get to work."

Well then, are you going to go do anything before you sign up for your hours? Also, what sort of hours are you going to try to sign up for?

Probably seamstress and minor carpentry work with the repair spells. We know a little cooking, and sailors aren't usually very picky, but the ship probably already has a slop-jockey. If nothing else we can scrub floors.

Varaia, would probably work best as security. If they won't let her pull guard duty, then manual labor with us.

>>22809693
Set ourself up on repair duty with our utility magic, fill in what we can't do with repair with cleaning and other such stuff. We'll probably get people covering our shifts once we start doing music in our off time, people love musicians.

>>22809693
Sorry, how much money do we have? If we are going to be the cooker, we can try to buy a book with recipes so we can bring some variety. Also, we should try to check what kind of ingredients they are going to have aboard.

Also, we should pick the same hours than Jack, so we can hang around together in case we need some help.

capcha: difapprove vingsb <--- I don't get it, is capcha ok or not with my idea?

>>22809741
Nah no slacking off on work, now singing sea shanties during work thats a different story

>>22809693

Quick! Syncronise our hours with Jack so we have the same break times and we can chill out with him.

>>22809693
I think we should arrange our shifts so that the other two of us are off while the third works. We don't know how well we can trust this captain or crew. So while Jack works, we sleep and Varaia keeps an eye out to make sure the crew doesn't get rape-y. Then Jack sleeps and we watch over V and Jack, then we work while V sleeps and Jack watches over us. We are not going to get shanghaied.

>>22809779

Do this with both of our companions, if possible. If not, well, tough break. How long is the cruise supposed to be? And how large is the freighter? Are we fully laden? With valuable cargo? Is it in good repair?

>>22809828
>it's going to be two weeks, but only the first week will be on the open ocean, the second being going around Mildania's east coast to Mild
>it has an idea crew complement of about 35
>you're fully loaded
>you're not sure of exactly what the cargo is
>it seems in relatively good repair

>>22809818
>the crew doesn't get rape-y.

...it's not rape if it's an elf.

>>22809881

take note to let curiosity get the better of us and examine the containers if we get close. No opening, just a glance. I wonder if it's something we might get railroad incident redux over...

Say, are there krakens in those oceans?

>>22809943
>Say, are there krakens in those oceans?

>yes, but they mostly eat fish
>storms are a bigger annual threat to shipping than sea monsters

>>22809912

But Jack isn't an elf!

>>22809959
Can we swim? What about Jack and Varaia?

I would think pirates would be a concern...

You rush off with Varaia to get a schedule put together as quickly as possible. You want to make sure that you, she, and Jack all have some free time together. When you get to the lists, you find that most of the slots for most of the duties have already been filled - which isn't surprising, since this ship employs some people full-time instead of freelance as needed - but you do manage to set it up where you'll all have some free time at the same time around dinner and shortly thereafter.

Jack will be working from early morning until dinner, and will be handling all manner of jobs requiring a lot of brute strength. You'll be working from late morning until dinner, then from early night until midnight. Varaia has a shift very close in timing to your own, just starting an hour earlier and ending an hour later.

This means that you and Varaia technically don't need to get started for another couple of hours - about when the ship will be launching. You look around. The ship has lots of deck space, is mostly made out of steel, its panels relatively recently painted and solidly riveted. Men are working on deck to finish loading the last of the cargo. You're not sure where the crew's mess is, though you and Varaia have found your bunks and stowed your bags.

What do you do until the ship launches?

>>22810225
Can we try to glance at the charge? I really want to know if we are on a boat with expensive fine merchandise or just random crap.

>>22810225

I wonder if there's anything that we could buy that would increase our chances against the mafia, or perhaps in case of shipwreck.

Actually, I know. Is there an affordable magical item that would allow us watherbreathing? Not that we necessarily had to end up using it. Also, what about a recording device or a camera, if we decided corner the mafia with some hard, unquestionable evidence of criminal behaviour?

Preferably a stealthy one.

>>22810225

Get to know the crew that are also currently off duty. Maybe we'll make a new friend!

>>22810315

sounds good idea. Use guitar, too.

>>22809654
I just want to have a nice simple thread without some faggot trying to imply that I want to be the little girl in it.

And since I will never get that, you fuckers are gonna have to deal with me the same way I have to always deal with your ass.

>>22810420
>I hate when you have fun that I'm not into
>so I'm going to shit on it instead of trying to steer it towards what I do find fun

>>22810453
Its more like
>I hate it when you ruin my fun with your shitposting and masturbation
>So I'm going to take the opportunity to give you a taste of the same treatment because I'm a petty bastard

>>22810453
>>22810480

Is more like both of you are fucking retards by feeding a troll. C'mon, focus on the quest, let the petty meaningless chihuahua barking at the door.

>>22810480

If it was about masturbation I'd have said that we should offer to become ship whore to pay for our voyage.

But I didn't now, did I?

>was owsemen

...whose semen, captcha?

>>22810514
>we should offer to become ship whore to pay for our voyage.

Is a hard work, but we are ready to take one for the team.

>>22810514
Some people get off to being a monogamous slutbag for only their husbando.

>>22810514
>>22810561

>implying Jack wouldn't be the team slut

>laughingelfwhores.jpg

>>22810315
Seconding this. It never hurts to have an extra friend watching your back or feeding you information.

>>22810480
>>22810505
Stop it. Considering that the original troll has long since left, you are now officially worse than he was.

You decide to take a quick peek at the labels on the crates and bags being loaded. Coffee, cocoa, sugar, cinnamon, and a crate that smells like Earl's car. There are also crates and crates simply labeled 'orcish antiquities.' You're not sure how globalized this world's economy is, so you're not sure whether the cargo is just pretty valuable or staggeringly valuable.

After that, you set out looking for the crew mess. It takes a bit, and you explore some of the ship in the process, but you find it eventually. There are a few crew members off-duty here, most of them human, as well as an elf.

An elf you met yesterday.

Aliade.

What the fuck is he doing here?

You're not sure whether or not he's feigning it, but he looks just as surprised to see you here as you feel to see him.

What's your reaction?

>No ne will ever agree cuz fetishes are nearly(if not) endless

>>22810611
"Well this is unexpected, What are you working on Ali?" dont trust him!...actually a little bit

>>22810608
Like you're any better. He made some good, valid points too and you know it. Shame you have to label anything that doesn't agree with you as a troll.

>>22810583
Monogamous slut.

wut?

>>22810611

"Fancy meeting you here, pardner! Looking for a budget transit as well, eh?"

If he's faking surprise, he could be a stalker, or a court agent. I wonder if bards in this setting are often also spies. Since he acts surprised, he's probably not stalking.

Or it could just be a very weird coincidence. Let's hear his version.

>>22810611
>Aliade

Sorry, can someone tell me who is this guy? Still, I would not trust on him.

>>22810695
He's the other bard we met while in the city.

>>22810611
"Didn't expect to see you here. The crew's lucky as can be, having the both of us to play for them."

>>22810611
rematch. we did upgrade our guitar after all
but in all seriousness, see what info we can get out of him.

>>22810680
Will do anything and everything at any time and any place, but only for, or at the request of their partner. I knew a couple people like that.

>>22810680
Wants nothing more out of life than to mongle cocks, but only one persons cock is worth her time to mongle. Like a transgendered 30 year old man slurping down orc jizz.

>>22810680
>>22810796
>>22810799

Stop that

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>>22810799

you seem very insistent about it. It's almost like your subconsciousness was expressing some suppressed desire, ja!

>>22810796
>>22810799
It's like I'm really in high school again.
>>22810611
Be cautious, ask what he's doing here.

>>22810876
>HURR, TEEGEE STANDS FOR TRANSGENDERED YOU ALL SECRETLY WANT TO GOBBLE COCKS BECAUSE THAT IS MY FETISH
Kill yourself.

>>22810611
If we had our guitar with us, I'd suggest whipping it out, moving our hand on the neck like we're cocking a shotgun complete with CLICK-CHK sound effect, and fake a western accent 'There aint enough room on this boat for the both of us bards.' Too bad we stashed it already. At this point I say our fa/tg/uy paranoia kicks in, as I would assume either he is stalking us on his own out of curiosity, since we were evasive about our origin and liege, or he's under orders to stalk us because one of HIS bosses is curious about our origin and liege, or this is all a very suspicious coincidence. Either way, we need to tread carefully.

"Well, fancy meeting you here. That eager for a rematch?". Cue cocky grin and magically-enhanced whistling gunfight music.

"Well, fancy meeting you here," you say. You try to smile cockily as if not surprised at all. "What are you doing on this boat?"

He maintains his look of surprise. You're still completely unsure of whether or not it's feigned. "I'm on my way back to Seelie, of course," he says. Huh, a straight answer. That's not what you expected. "What are you doing here, spying on me for your mystery liege?"

"I'm on my way to Mildania," you say. "Myself and my companions."

"Mmm," he says. He's gotten his expression back under control - or he was always under control and he was just feigning it before. Then he breaks into a cocky grin. "Did you bring your crappy guitar with you? I have that banjo stashed under my bunk."

"I've actually upgraded," you say.

"Oh no," he says, clearly feigning shock and fear. "How ever will I stand up to you now?"

What now?

>>22811179
We don't have time for this shit. Can we go all psychologist and points his insecurities and stuff?

>>22811179
"I'm sure you'll manage. When are you free? We may as well put a show on for the fine folks of this vessel."

Also, find the mess and get some food.

>>22811179

"I'm sure we'll get an opportunity to rematch over the course of our voyage!"

We should also find out when his duty is so that we can keep this promise.

>>22811179
.... Can we cast an audio-only illusion on our guitar to make it sound like multiple guitars at once? Because if we have to challenge him to a bardic showdown, I want to pull out a few songs he's never heard before. Infectious songs that started sensations here on our world. Hey Jude. Paint it Black. Freebird. Then shift the illusion to something electric and whip up an illusory music video and hit him upside the head with Iron Man and Man on the Silver Mountain. Remember how shock Varaia was when we showed her Star Wars? It was because it was a form of media she had never even heard of before. I'm thinking elves take that for granted here, that every song or story or play is just a retelling of something else they've heard before. So if we start busting out things Aldy has absolutely no analog to compare to, we're going to floor him.

We need to ask around, see if any of the crew enjoys Early's Herb. If so, we need to sing "I'll never smoke weed with Early again" one night.

>>22811416
God damn, we'll be the best one woman show there ever was!

"You'll just have to manage," you say, trying to seem cocky as well. "When are you free? We should give them a show sometime."

"I work nights," he says. "I'm free around dinner - that's when I'll be having my breakfast - and in the mornings before I sleep. What if I don't want to give you a rematch, though?"

"Then I'll call you a coward," you say, changing your smile from cocky to sly.

He clutches his chest in an exaggerated fashion and says, "Oh, you wound me! Fine, then - I'll give you your rematch one of these days. If you'll excuse me, though, I'm going to get some sleep so I'm prepared for my shift tonight."

After he leaves, you get some food and ask around to see if any of the crew are fond of the sort of herb that Earl grows. You find that most of them don't have nearly enough down time for that sort of thing, and those that do tend to be left behind at port for laziness. You can't honestly say that you're surprised.

Once that's all said and done, it's about time for the ship to get under way and for your shift to start. You head up to the top deck to watch as the ship gets in motion, the city slowly drifting away behind it. Then you get started on your work, using utility magic to clean the ship, blast away rust, mend small amounts of damage, and so forth. Do you do anything or focus on anything while you work?

>>22811179
"Pfft. As if I need an instrument to take you to school."

Use an illusion to whistle/duplicate
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFa1-kciCb4
in acapella mode.

>>22811593
Try not to geek out over the fact that we've probably never been on a ship sailing between continents before? Other than that, just focus on our work and keep our ears open for interesting tid-bits of gossip.

>>22811603
I can see it now.
We create an illusory cowpoke to whistle the tune, as a illusory tumbleweed rolls through the mess hall. Two bards face off on either side of the mess, fingers poised over strings.

>>22811642
Damned skippy. We need to run through every western we know, since the feeling I get from this world is that we just left the Wild West with a cowboy and an Indian in tow. Now we're a-headed fer the Big City to teach a no-good varmint not to go messin wit folks's kin.

(What description should I use for when I archive this thread?)

>>22811791
Jack and Varaia tell the bard stories and then sail out of the city.

You decide to just work diligently until dinner, listening in to see if you can pick up on any rumors or gossip from the other workers as you go. You do find out that some of the goods being shipped are grey market goods, but nothing more than that. When your shift ends, you return to the crew mess. On your way there, Jack walks up and puts an arm around you.

"This won't be too bad," he says. "The work here isn't any harder than living out in the woods."

When you two get to the mess, you see Varaia standing there with an apron over her normal clothes, serving food. After she serves you two, she ditches her apron, gets herself a serving, and sits down with you two. You start digging in almost immediately - you're pretty hungry - and find that it's delicious.

"You made this?" you ask Varaia. She nods, her mouth full of food. "It's fantastic!" Jack nods in agreement.

"I know," says Varaia. Well, she's not humble, even if she's right.

What now?

>>22812267
Finish the meal, give our complements to the chef with a quick kiss, give Jack a kiss as well and then pull out our guitar and play some music for folks.

>>22812267

Lick the bowl clean.

>>22812324
Yup, pretty much, a song or two may animate the sailor.

Just don't try to go to far, everybody have work for tomorrow.

>>22812665
something relaxing....

>>22812588
Lick HER bowl clean

>>22812807
yep with a big smile too

>>22812267
Time for BARDATHON WHATEVER YEAR IT IS.

>>22813307
And then we can make HER suck orc dicks.

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>>22813417

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>>22813417
>>22813307
>>22812807

>>22813465
>>22813503
>implying you dont want to give our husbando a present

>>22813610
Maybe later Anon, MAYBE.

>>22813654
No time like the present. Seduce her, then seduce them both.

We ARE a bard, aren't we? Hell, op even said the reason we are so good at sucking orc dicks is because we chose bard.

>>22813672
majority ruled....less porny stuff, more ADVENTURE!

You scrape your bowl clean, then go to your cabin to get your new guitar. You take a seat in the crew mess - it's going to be a while before you need to continue your shift, so you figure that you may want to perform a few songs for the crew. Jack and Varaia go back for seconds while you start, letting it rip on your new guitar.

The din of the room grows quiet as the sailors listen in - they sing along on songs designed for it. When you finish, you get pats on your shoulders, congratulations and thanks. Then, you head off back to work; your shift doesn't end until nearly midnight.

>I'm going to end it here for the night
>I'm dead tired

>>22812267
finish meal
chill with homies

>>22813854
>>I'm dead tired

Thank you for your effort. Hopefully whenever you can, there will be less trolls.

>>22813854
sleep well!

>>22813816
>majority ruled
Last I checked, it was 3 for and 2 against. Check yourself before speaking up for us, faggot.

>>22814441
Majority ruled in previous threads, oh God Emperor of /tg/. You shining beacon of poise and intellect.

>>22814633
>changing the goal post
>using previous threads to claim superiority over anons in this thread
Well aren't you just a right sodden cunt.

Thanks for the thread OP. hopefully fewer haters will crawl from their holes tomorrow. Sleep well.

>>22815067
For fucks sake, are you questfags really so petty and prissy as to bump this fucking shit just to say how buttmad some other faggots made you? You are the reason people hate quests.

>>22815146
What really happens:
>Wishes the OP well, thanks him for his hard work, and encourages him to disregard his detractors.
You claim:
>complaining and whining.

Mmmmmm.... Nope. You are objectively wrong. Your post serves no purpose but for you to vent your infantile rage over something you would never notice unless you were lurking the thread already, salivating at the chance to try to troll people like a wannabe /b/tard.

Saging thread only because it's late and some kids still don't know about the catalog. I just wanted to show my appreciation to OP for a good read, even if i can never catch it while it's in progress.

Thanks MP, keep up the great work.

>>22815146

No. People like >>22813672 are why people hate quests.

>>22818998
I hate quests because of people like both of them.

>>22818884

Well said.

Can't wait for the next instalment: Have a good night, OP.

>>22818884
Wow, what a stuck up cunt.