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“Who was his Master during the last war?” Rin asks.

“Your Father summoned him. When he was killed I took him since I had lost my assassin by that point.”

“Who beat him?” I ask, trying to discern a tactic.

“The Berserker got close a couple of times, but ultimately it was Saber.” He responds easily.

“.... Saber was my Father's. You made it to the end then?”

“Indeed.” He says, turning to me. “Saber fought Gilgamesh, and your father attacked me. The reasoning was that without one or the other acting as a support, the second would fall quickly. Of course, I thought much the same.”

“And you lost?”

“Saber delivered a fatal blow, and your Father put a round in my chest.” He taps a spot. “He must have just missed the heart or I would have died. I missed what happened next, but with Gilgamesh critically wounded and me apparently bleeding to death he told Saber to destroy the Grail.”

“Why?” Ilya asks, shocked.

“Something about the prize not being what he wanted.” He looks at our disappointed expressions. “Sorry that I don't have more detail, but I was being crushed by burning rubble while bleeding to death at the time.”

“Alright, what about Avenger? Any special knowledge there?” I continue.

“No. Apparently the Einzbern summoned a Class by that name instead of a Berserker in the third war, but that's all I know.”

“How would a Servant even survive that long?” Rin asks, shocked. “I mean, don't they need the Grail to exist?”
>>
“They need the Grail to be summoned. Keeping one here would be easy, in theory. All you would need is enough Prana to keep them around.” Kirei responds with a shrug. “I'm not sure how HE managed it. Another Master? Maybe he consumed part of the Grails power when it was destroyed? An artifact from his treasury? All he would need is sufficient Mana, and this land is rather thick with Ley Lines.”

“What's his Goal?” Lancer asks, surprising us. “I mean, if he's found a way to live, why keep competing and fighting over the Grail?”

“He might well be doing it for personal amusement. That was the only interest he seemed to have in the last War, barring the interest he developed in Saber.”

After a long moment of silence, Rin speaks up. “Do you know how my Father died?”

“No. I wasn't there when it happened.” He looks away. “When I left, he was still breathing. Gilgamesh did suspect he planned to betray him for some reason.”

“Do you know why?”

“Sorry.” He responds, shaking his head.

>Any other questions? For Kirei or otherwise?
>>
>>22726339
>“No. I wasn't there when it happened.” He looks away. “When I left, he was still breathing.

Kirei doesn't actually lie, he just omits information because you didn't ask. So that leaves the question...

Who killed Tokiomi?

I don't have anything else to ask.
>>
>>22726465
The plot thickens.
>>
>>22726328
>>22726339

Wait, how did you 'leave' where you were trapped under burning rubble while bleeding to death?
>>
>>22726339
Tell us more about the fourth Grail War. Maybe we can find out if any more shit is different.
>>
>>22726642
The guy survived for half a day with his heart crushed and can knock down trees with only his ass muscles.
>>
>>22726339
"How did you manage to survive being crushed by burning rubble? How did my Father even crush you with burning rubble, because I have got to learn that trick.

So the Einzberns summoned Avenger, though I'm wondering why he didn't do anything in the last grail war. Do you know what happens when you summon a Servant that goes outside the parameters of the War?

What was your relationship with Gil like?"
>>
>>22726465

"I'm not sure. He was alive when I left, but the Matou champion said he was dead when he arrived." He shrugs. "I could list suspects, but that amounts to every other living Master at the time. If you were especially paranoid, you could even add me as a suspect." He gives me a curious look. "Rather pointed line of questioning, isn't it?" His tone seems more amused at the lack of trust than offended.

>>22726642

"I managed to heal the wound enough to not bleed to death and then crawled out over the course of the next few days."

>>22726767

"I have no idea. You would be better served talking to either an Einzbern or a Matou, since they were the ones to provide a system for the Grail to Manifest and the system for summoning and controlling Heroes, respectively. I studied with the Tosaka, and all they did was provide fertile land for the seed to grow in."

"I just more or less let him do as he pleased, as long as he received results. I knew he disliked Tokiomi for attempting to keep him on a tight leash." He looks away. "He also claimed to enjoy speaking with me because I was 'fascinating'. I'm not entirely sure how I should take that given he used the exact turn of phrase to describe a child murderer, One of our more potent enemies, and a woman he was lusting after."
>>
>>22726937
I've got a question for the priest of the hour, and that's "Who started the fire?"

Also, yes, F/SA. You rock AC-Guy.
>>
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>>22726937
>I'm not entirely sure how I should take that given he used the exact turn of phrase to describe a child murderer, One of our more potent enemies, and a woman he was lusting after."

HeWantsTheDick.jpg

Glad to have you back, AC-guy! Though I must admit, I'm pissed you chose tonight, because I have early morning class tomorrow.

Shirou should ask Kotomine why he was in the Grail War. Was there a specific wish he craved?
>>
>>22727061
Ohhhh, yes, please ask this. We've already got the context for the answer, so let's get confirmation from the horse's mouth. Well, the priest's mouth. The horse is Saber.
>>
>>22726328
>>22726339
>“The Berserker got close a couple of times, but ultimately it was Saber.”

"Must've been one hell of a Servant if it went toe to toe with the King of Heroes. Any idea how the last war's Berserker fought him? While I'm at it, who was Berserker's master?"

Saber is our ace in the hole for defeating Gil, but someone might need to keep him busy. And if 4th War Berserker's style gives Shirou's team better odds at succeeding, then it might be worth looking into.

And I know this is a moot point, but humor us with asking Kirei questions about a certain bike that tried to kill Shirou.
>>
>>22727061

"That might have been me. Or a side effect of Saber being forced to destroy the Grail." He frowns. "I'm honestly not sure. I remember wanting some kind of distraction I could use against Kiritsugu. Whatever else it may have been, the fire WAS exactly that. I'm not sure that's really how it happened though, things were.... strange, there at the last."

"How would Saber's destroying the Grail have caused it?" Rin asks.

"That much raw magical energy being just let loose without any sort of guidance or control? There's no known precedence for an event like that. I could cause massive destruction, it could do nothing." He shrugs. "It could spontaneously give everyone in range super-powers. It's not something we have much opportunity to study or contemplate."

>>22727175

"I was entered to assist Rin's father." He gives a nod in her direction. "I had no wish of my own, and the Church decided that he was the least objectionable choice for victory."

"The Church plays favorites?" Ilya asks, surprised.

"In every war." He responds with a nod. "Originally the plan was to hand the victory to Lancer's Master, but I disagreed due to Rin's insistence in taking part." He shakes his head. "I'm not sure we could even force the situation now, as Chaotic as things have become."
>>
>>22727329

"He stole the weapons Gilgamesh summoned and used them against him. Apparently his Nobel Phantasm allowed him to wield and use anything he perceived as a weapon with extreme proficiency."

"And that worked?" I ask.

"Yes. There are few ways to counter a technique like that. The on ly that comes to mind is either a shield strong enough to ignore it, or a bigger pile of weapons to counter with."

"Maybe we could investigate more." Rin suggests. "Who was Berserker's Master?"

"Kariya Matou." Kirei responds, and Rin recoils as though struck.
>>
>>22727329
>humor us with asking Kirei questions about a certain bike that tried to kill Shirou.

It we can work it into conversation, sure!

Kotomine is a bit like SHirou in some ways - skilled in many fields, but only passionate about a very specific, unheathy thing. Do uyou think he's been a mechanic, once upon a time?
>>
>>22727520

"Rin?"

Let her answer who that is.
>>
>>22727556
I second letting Rin cut in on that name.
>>
>>22727511
>It could spontaneously give everyone in range super-powers. It's not something we have much opportunity to study or contemplate."

Well, SHIT. Cue existential dread in 3...2...1...


>>22727520
>Rin recoils as though struck.
Fuck that. Existential dread can wait.

"Um, Rin? Is something the matter?"
>>
>>22727511

Hmm, should we ask if Kirei know's lancer's master?
>>
Is nobody archiving any of these. WHERE ARE THE ARCHIVES
>>
>>22727520
"Rin, are you okay?"
Finding out what actually happened to Kariya cannot be easy for her.
>>
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>>22727511
>That much raw magical energy being just let loose without any sort of guidance or control? There's no known precedence for an event like that.
*cough*

Remind me, did we come here for a specific reason, or are we just interrogating Kirei? No sarcasm, really don't remember. We should check the last thread for questions suggested then, just in case.
>>
>>22727670
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=grail-kun

Help yourself, though it may take a while. The sequences are wonky, but they are labeled at least.
>>
>>22727670
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Fate%2FStay+Again
Try searching the tag "Fate/Stay Again" or by the date January 2013 and Ctrl + F "Fate" to find stuff,
>>
>>22727721
We came here to get to get info on Gilgamesh from Kirei.
>>
>>22727556
>>22727599
>>22727609

"Rin?" I ask, turning to her.

"I knew him. He... was a friend of my Mother's." She hesitates. "He was in the war? I didn't even know Uncle Kariya was a Mage?"

"By information I received, he wasn't." Kirei answers. "Apparently he allowed Zouken to infest his body with Crest Worms to simulate the same ability."

"Wait, what? I thought that that was for Magi?"

"Normally, yes. They just substituted his flesh and soul for the normal Magical circuits. I'm amazed at his devotion, knowingly signing away his life like that. I also imagine the process was incredibly painful."

Rin stares in shock, and Ilya voices the question she can't. "Why would he do that? For the Grail?"

"When I asked him, he told me it was to protect Sakura from the same fate. Apparently Zouken told him that if he won him the wish he would release Sakura back to her family, having no reason to keep her and subject her to the worms."

"So you knew about her and Rin being related the entire time?" I ask him, surprised.

"Yes. I began studying with Tokiomi long before Sakura was adopted into the Matou house. It was on the list of things I wasn't to talk about, and he never explained his reasoning to me anyway."

"Why not say anything?" I ask, trying not to let my anger get the better of me.

"Who? Rin already knew, and I was forbidden by a magically binding contract to speak of it to nobody."

I take a deep breath to steady myself, while Rin sits heavily on the bench next to me.
>>
>>22727659

"Of course. I know all the legitimate Masters in the War." He responds casually.

>>22727832
>>22727721

>This basically. Rin and Shirou went to the Church to share Vampire info, as well as get as much 'Tohsaka only' info as they could from Kirei.
>>
>>22727838

I see all the RIn points skyrocketing and yet I can do naught but follow.

"Rin..."

Wordless comfort appears to be the order of the day. Hold her hand or arm around shoulder.
>>
>thread started an hour and a half ago
>twitter decides that I do not need to be informed of this fact
Well fuck you too, Twitter.
>>22727838
[x] Sit beside Rin and hug her. Invite Illya to take her other side.
>>
>>22727930

I put one arm around Rin's waist and pull her in gently. She leans against me a little bit, and I can feel her mind trying to process the new information.

Kirei, for his part seems to be giving me an appraising look. I return his gaze and he just nods thoughtfully in return.

After a minute, Rin begins filling him in on what we know about the Vampire.

He asks a handful of pointed questions about the locations of the marks and the odd feeding habits, and then departs the Church without even pausing to say goodbye.

>Actions?
>>
>>22727902
Did we resolve the Vampire issue, yet? Does Kirei have any leads on that?

Whatever the case, we must comfort Rin. Dammit, if only we could max the other relationship points like we've done with her!

Does Kirei know anything about poisons of the body and soul? Could he help treat a the poisoned Souichirou?
>>
>>22728222
>>22727930
These. We had also ought to have lancer pass info about the vamps to his master and suggest a meet for mutual safety.
>>
>>22728239
We had probably ought to make our way back, detouring for any more of the marks that may be on the way.
>>
>>22728239
Pull Illya into hug. Express frustration with the dickishness of mage families.
>>
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>>22728239
I second >>22728300, but feel we should also do this for Sakura, too.

Perhaps, after cuddles, we should take Sakura aside and ask her about Uncle Kariya? Rin seems to be a bit on edge about this...maybe Sakura has some understanding of this situation?
>>
>>22728352
Wait, did we bring Sakura? I thought it was just Rin and Illya.
>>
>>22728375
Pretty sure he means in general, otherwise there's some quantum bullshit going down.

Also, what are our next moves?
>>
>>22728239
>then departs the Church without even pausing to say goodbye.

Oh, well fuck you too cocknugget.

>Actions?
Lets head back and see if we can talk Lancer into setting up a meeting with his Master. The Mystery Master is pretty much the only player in the War he haven't had contact with.

Later tonight, we should probably see about patrolling the town to see if we can track down the Vampire. Taking any vamp-related action before dark probably won't yield any new info.
>>
>>22728352
Fuck that, pull everyone into the hug

Group hugs are best hugs. Also lets Sakura, Rin and Ilya know that it's not just Shirou, but everyone else present supporting them
>>
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>>22728375
I was thinking more along the lines of 'we build relationship points with Sakura AND help tease out WTF just happened. If Sakura knew this other Matou guy, she might be able to tell us more.

Perhaps we should follow Kirei? See where he's going, what kind of bullshit he's getting up to?

>Later tonight, we should probably see about patrolling the town to see if we can track down the Vampire. Taking any vamp-related action before dark probably won't yield any new info.

Hunting Dead-Apostle style Vampires? After-hours? Are you high? At night those things range from Hardcore to Oh God Please Stop.

What phase of the moon are we at? Because the fuller it is, the more fucked we are!
>>
>>22728530
Wasn't Sakura adopted after Kariya died? I don't think she has much to say on Kariya in particular.
>>
>>22728566
>Wasn't Sakura adopted after Kariya died?
Nope. Kariya only even got involved in the Grail War because he didn't want Sakura getting Crest Worm'd
>>
>>22728566

Kariya left the house and came back.

Sakura took his death as a sign that those who oppose the old bastard will die.
>>
>>22728239

>>22728280
Seconding this course of action on the way back. If I remember correctly, the area around the church and the bridge have runes. Time willing, a quick look at the station couldn't hurt.

Once the party is back at the house, break out the hugs.

Then if that's settled, recheck the notes that Kiritsugu left for Shirou to cross examine Kirei's story. (Unless, said notes contain nothing about the 4th Grail War.)
>>
>>22728609
>>22728618
I realized literally five seconds after posting that I'm retarded. The flashback in the VN threw off my chronology.
>>
>>22728650
I approve of this course of action. Retrace these steps, Investigate Further, then Happy Familial Coping Times.

THe last part, about rereading Kiritsugu's notes, is important There has to be SOMETHING in here we could use
>>
I lead the way to the door, and take Ilyas hand as we pass.

We begin down the road, and Arcueid tells us that she needs to handle a few personal matters and return to the hunt.

I turn to Lancer. "Any chance of us arranging a meeting with your Master?"

"Almost certainly not." He responds calmly, looking at me. "It's up to them. I could put in a good word for you and yours, but circumstance makes their agreement to a meeting extremely unlikely."

"You're sure?"

"The first thing that happened upon arrival was a betrayal, and I was summoned barely in time to prevent my Master's death. I doubt there's going to be any trust there unless something dramatic happens."

"Like say, a Vampire invasion or someone completely screwing with the Grail system?"

Lancer sighs dramatically. "Such circumstances are the only reason I'm allowed the level of cooperation we've had. My Master has allowed events to make them Paranoid of everyone but me. Not that they're completely in the wrong...." He finishes with a shrug, letting the thought hang.
>>
>>22728650

>You already examined the one on the bridge on the way here.
>>
>>22728706
I think we need to bring up the fact that everything is so completely out of whack that it may no longer be possible to get a wish granted by the grail.
In fact I think preventing any Servants from dying (except Caster's fake Assassin) has been a really fucking good thing. We should keep it up.
>>
>>22728706
Now's a good time to check up on the town. We've got nothing better to do.
>>
>>22728706
"Do be sure to put in a good word. I fancy our chances of coming out the other side of this a little better with more folks involved. If they would not agree to a meet, perhaps having your master contact me by way of a disposable phone or something such as that. Having additional folks thinking about the details of the various odd occurances might bring the truth forward more quickly.
>>
>>22728706
Fuck Yes, Bazett's alive!
>>
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>>22728706
>Bazett Fraga McRemitz appears to be alive
Fuck yeah.
>>
We make a quick detour and examine the other markings on the ground near the church, and the one at the Train Station.

Rin concludes that they're clearly connected to the ones at the School and Bridge, but beyond that not much. Lancer comments that standing close to them makes him feel rather uncomfortable, and Ilya echos the sentiment.

Berserker apologizes for the lack of help, but he would only have access to helpful knowledge and power as Assassin or Caster.

We continue home, and Sakura becomes very quiet and unhelpful regarding Kariya's involvement in the war. I recognize my mistake in bringing up something painful and hold her while she lets out more than a few tears. Rin takes over and leads her away to speak in private.

I find an old Camera I have laying around, and after confirming it works give it to Lancer so he can take pictures of those runes for everyone to examine. I also mention that given how the Grail's acting 'odd' avoiding servant deaths might be a good idea for now.

He nods and departs to give his Master a status update.

I head out to the shed, and begin to plot my next course of action, when a noise informs me of Rider's return.

[ ] Cross Examine Kirei's story with Saber.
[ ] Search Dad's notes for anything of use.
[ ] Get Caster's opinion on the Runes.
[ ] Check and see what Rider's found.
>>
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>>22728976
Time for mint bubblegum!
>>
>>22729043
>[ ] Search Dad's notes for anything of use.
>>
>>22729043
[X] Search Dad's notes for anything of use.

If it's important she'll let us know.
>>
>>22729043
Dad's old notes time.
>>
Rolled 4

>>22729043

Take the notes, go over them with Saber.

We've not spent much time with her lately.
>>
>>22729122
Actually, yeah, go get Saber and let's read over the notes together. She might have input on some things he made note of.
>>
>>22729122

This. This one.

90% of why Saber hated Kiritsugu was because he 'had no honor' and never explained anything to her.
>>
>>22729043
Rider first, since it's news, then the notes.

Why not fetch Illya as well? More corroborating perspectives can hardly hurt.
>>
>>22729145
Would it be in-character for Shirou to want to at least keep SOME things quiet or secret? We need to keep things to ourselves when we can regarding Dad's notes, more than likely. Hell, I don't even think half the party knows of the notes. We don't need Lancer stealing them on an order from the church or something.
>>
>>22729165
Going over them with Saber is fine, I should add. I'm just saying that making ourselves an open book leaves us open to being used and having no leverage in the group dynamic. Things are bound to go haywire at some point in the group, at least temporarily.
>>
>>22729043
>[ ] Cross Examine Kirei's story with Saber.
>[ ] Search Dad's notes for anything of use.
Seems like the most potentially fruitful in the short term.
[ ] Get Caster's opinion on the Runes.
Need to do this before too long, however.
>>
>>22729043
>[ ] Check and see what Rider's found.

This feels important.
>>
>>22729165
Personally I want to keep everything regarding Kiritsugu away from the other people. His stuff is what's going to help us when we finally become a hero, and they don't need to worry about that while the war is on.
>>
>>22728706
Coming in lake here, but
>them
>their agreement
As in lancer has two masters. If Bazzet's one, then who's the other?
>>
>>22729214
Or he's using them/they/their as gender neutral pronouns so as to give us nothing to go off of when trying to guess who his Master is.
>>
>>22729214
That might just be because English doesn't have any good gender neutral single person pronouns, he's not going to call his Master "it".
>>
>>22729194
Seriously. Keeping secrets gives us an advantage on this particular front. It also gives Shirou some maturity and character progression instead of being a hyper-snark quip machine. Nothing so much as to cause distrust among the group. Everyone has secrets besides us at this point. Well, except for Archer ceasefiring with us. I don't think we explicitly stated that.
>>
>>22729214
No, he's using a plural to keep from saying his master's gender.

>>22729179
While you're probably correct, from a utilitarian point of view Illya being with us has better risk vs. benefit pay off. Illya likes us and Saber isn't our Servant anymore.

And if things DO go to shit, we're the most likely to die outside of protagonist h4x. Illya's the one most likely to be able to end the war in our place.
>>
>>22729043
Cross examine Kirei's story with Saber.

We need to expose Kotomine.
>>
>>22729214
Or it could be the same method that was used by Kayneth and Sola-Ui for Diarmuid during the 4th Grail War.

Honestly, with how much this story has strayed from its origins, the possibilities could be anything.

>>22729043
Although I did advocate for checking notes here >>22728650
... I was thinking more along the lines of doing this before Shirou goes to sleep.

>[x] Check and see what Rider's found.
>>
>>22729043
[x] Cross-examine Dad's notes with Saber.
>>
>>22729281
We should absolutely keep Dad's notes exclusive to us, Saber, and Ilya. Saber and Ilya not only may have very important input, but among the entire sample of people with any possible useful input, they're the only two we can reasonably trust to keep it a perfect secret that the notes exist. Rin is a loudmouth and incredibly gullible when it comes to mindgames not related to magic, and anything she has to say is covered by Saber and Ilya. Ilya is basically officially our little sister now, so she's going to obviously keep quiet if we ask her to. Saber is Caster's Servant, but Caster has no real reason to think such information exists, or has any use for such information, so there's no reason to expect her to force the info out of Saber. Anyone besides Ilya or Saber is either pointless or a huge risk to our secret notes, so leave them in the dark. In particular, since Lancer gives regular updates to his Master, he might be forced to give up such information. If he gets an order to steal the notes or, even worse, destroy them, well, he's not exactly capable of disobeying outright.

On the note of us dying, well, the quest will be over. I'm sure we're absolutely critical to success given Avenger's shenanigans. I don't think Ilya can pick up that slack.
>>
>>22729539
Or he's speaking in genderless terms in order to help his master(s?) remain unknown.
>>
>>22729577
I think we should *just* tell Ilya. I know we should trust saber, but I have a bad feeling about it. Plus, extra ilya points for showing her 'notes from dad'.
>>
>>22729577
True, but Saber has a hard on for "doing the right thing" she might want to share the notes with the others. If we're going to have anyone with us it should be Illya.
>>
>>22729624
Ugh, I forgot about her personality. If anyone pressures her from a moral high ground, she's going to cave immediately. It might be best to let her know of the details by proxy. Not mentioning the notes, but giving her the info, or something. She's not our servant, so we can't force her to shut her mouth in crunch time.
>>
I grab the notes my Father left behind and go to find Saber.

She's standing guard outside Caster's room as normal when I arrive.

"Shirou?" She asks with a smile, which fades slightly when she sees my expression. "Did something happen?"

I pull her aside and inform her of the important details about Gilgamesh and the last war learned from Kirei.

She seems slightly shocked. "So that's who he is. Suddenly a lot more of what happened makes sense."

"Yeah. I was going to go over Dad's notes that I found in that storage unit. If you were willing to go over them with me, we could fill in any holes in our understanding of what happened."

".... If you wish. It shouldn't matter to Caster as long as I don't roam far from my post... but Shirou? Are you sure about this? You haven't been.... completely forthcoming, but I get the feeling this might be painful for you."

"... Yeah." I tell her after a moment's hesitation. "There's too much happening right now that's connected to how the last war ended." I shake my head. "We need to KNOW. Fill in as much detail as possible so we can get this to somehow work. If all that costs me is some discomfort, it's a small price to pay."

She nods, and we sit down together. After almost an hour, we've read over the notes left. Saber's tone shifts often between angry, confused, and thoughtful as she adds her own insights and experiences to the summary.
>>
>>22729688

>Shirou is now aware of a general timeline of events in Fate/Zero. The parts experienced by Saber and Kiritsugu were the same as in canon.

As we reach the end of the notes, there's a few final warnings. Never trust Kirei under any circumstances, with listed reasons including 'extreme sociopathic' tendencies and 'completely unpredictable rationale'. He also comments on the Grail speaking to him directly, and it's opinions and statements led him to believe it was compromised in some way. Whether it was 'fixable' or not he couldn't divine, so he opted for what he believed to be the safest option and tried to destroy it. He notes that this was apparently the worst possible thing for him to do, given the widespread destruction the uncontrolled magic energy caused.

He ends the section by apologizing, feeling more or less directly responsible for the death of my entire family. Part of the reason he chose to adopt me was to make up for all the harm he caused.

I lean back against the wall, and take a deep ragged breath. No emotion could possibly help this situation, so I need to keep a handle on that. When I open my eyes, Saber is sitting next to me, giving me a concerned look. "Saber, unless I say otherwise, we can't tell anybody about this."
>>
>>22729697


"You're sure?"

"There's nothing helpful anyone can learn from this we can't tell them from us. Most of it won't mean anything to anyone else except maybe Ilya anyway."

She hesitates, and then nods. "Fair enough. The important parts we could tell them without the notes anyway." She leans in slightly, her expression softening. "... Are you going to be alright?"

>What say?
>>
>>22729701
"I wonder what the Church's stance on mages speaking to psychiatrists is."
>>
Rolled 2

>>22729701

"I... I don't know...

Everything's been coming one after another. Events, revelations. That just about everyone I know is involved in magic, that I have a sister, that father was a...

I.. I guess I'm a little numb right now. Too much, too soon. I'm barely holding it all together right now..."

ooc: Should Shirou mention the demon thing?
>>
>>22729701
"I have no idea. I can probably keep it together long enough to finish this thing. Beyond that, I don't know."
>>
>>22729701
"To be perfectly honest? No. No I'm not. If I were any less of the wannabe-martyr everyone accuses me of, I'd probably be cursing his name right now. If he was still alive I'd probably want to throttle him for keeping this a secret. I understand his reasons, but that doesn't mean I'm not hurt." Shirou takes a deep breath. "A son shouldn't despise his own father, adopted or not. I shouldn't be getting this worked up. I'll end up starting something I'll regret."
>>
>>22729701
We need to make her swear not to tell, but for now let's just work on processing things the best way we know how.

Let's go work in the kitchen.
>>
>>22729833
thank you for not suggesting >THIS BIKETHIS BIKETHIS BIKETHIS BIKE
>>
>>22729790
Pretty much everyone else knows at this point.

>>22729701
"Happy, no, pleased, not in the least, but I'll be alright, I'll cope, if I don't I won't be able to protect everyone, so I'll manage. I have to.

It was all stuff I should know about to better understand what's going on, and I feel like I know my Father better now, and I'm not sure that's a good thing. It explains a bit where I came from, it's been hectic and I haven't had a chance to really explain this to you, I don't have a soul. I'm pretty similar to a Demon, a creature made out of a wish, maybe he wished hard enough to have something, anything, to save that it ended up making me, there being a massive pile of magical energy in the air probably didn't hurt. I guess things make more sense now.

How about you? You feeling alright? I know that you can never forgive him, but he didn't do anything without a good reason."
>>
>>22729701
>"... Are you going to be alright?"
"No. My chances of being all right went up in flames with the half the city ten years ago. I'll settle for 'prepared to stop it from happening again'.

"Sorry, I guess that was uncalled for. You're just trying to help and I'm being a jerk about it. This is just a lot to take in on top of everything else. I think I won't tell Illya about this, at least not right now. I need time to sort this out in my head; and Kiritsugu was only my adopted father.

"As for whether I'll be alright... yes. I'm fine. I knew some already and had guessed some more; to tell the truth I'd imagined worse. It's just a shock seeing it all laid out like this. I'm fine. Thank you."

Shirou's not fine. He is desperate to make people think he is.
>>
>>22729866
This. What he said.
>>
>>22729864
The only one who knows is Rin and Kotomine. Let's keep it that way.
>>
>>22729866
Addendum: We need to talk to Cain and ask him how much Illya knows. And ask him not to tell Illya the rest unless she threatens to use a Command Seal on it. She might be older than Shirou and have lived exposed to the Einzbern's view on magical relations since she was born, but she's still the little sister who adores her daddy.
>>
>>22729894
"ones who now are" is what I meant.
>>
>>22729832

LancerxBazett
>>
>>22730002
You want to tell a girl her mother and father were responsible for several thousand deaths?
>>
>>22730002

Then we should do this with Saber.
>>
>>22730029
She has a right to know, to be honest. It's clearly been eating at her since we started on a friendly correspondence and did this whole brother-sister thing.
>>
>>22730002
This, if anyone deserves to know it's her.
>>
>>22730140
It's not that she's a little girl. It's that anybody would get their head screwed up if they found out their parents indirectly caused thousands of deaths. Right now we can't handle having her unstable for any period of time.
>>
>>22730140
I should have been clearer: I have every intention of informing Illya of the existence of these notes, and giving them to her. I just want to do it after Shirou's had a chance to recover from the psychic shock. She does need to know since it's her personal reason for participating in the war, but she deserves to hear it from us when we're in a position to help her. Give it a day or two.
>>
"Honestly, I think my chances of being alright went up in literal flames with half the city. I'll settle for 'prepared to stop it from happening again'."

Saber looks at me shocked, putting a hand on my shoulder, and I realized I might've been a little too honest.

"Sorry, that was uncalled for. You just want to help and I'm being an asshole about it. It's just.... this is a lot to take in, on top of everything else. I think I need to tell Ilya about this, eventually. I mean, I was adopted but...." I sigh, shaking my head. "I need time to sort this out, I don't even want to think about how it's going to affect her."

Saber nods, understanding while giving me a critical look. "So are you going to be alright?"

"Of course." I tell her, giving her the most winning smile I can manage. She gives me an irritated frown and I relent. "Yes, I'll be fine. I already knew part of it and had guessed some more. Honestly, I was afraid it was going to be a lot worse. It's just shocking to have everything all laid out like this." I give her hand a gentle squeeze and force out a more honest smile. "I'll be fine, thank you."

After a moment's silence, Saber suddenly withdraws her hand like she didn't realize we were touching. She starts to move like she's getting up to leave, when she suddenly turns to me. "Wait, Ilya's your sister?"
>>
>>22730193

"And Kiritsugu's biological daughter." I confirm with a nod. "Just found out for sure earlier today."

"But she can't be that old. His daughter was barely smaller than that when I saw her."

"Yeah, I'm not sure what the deal with that is, but she's clearly older than she looks. She'd have to be in order to have the sort of memories she has of my Dad, just because it's been a decade since she's seen him. I'm not sure exactly how old she is, but I'm guessing fifteen at the youngest."

"... and you knew this?"

"Within seconds of finding out who she really is. Despite every appearance to the contrary, I'm not a COMPLETE idiot." I smile. "Granted, I'm not that far off, but....."

Saber gives me a small, irritated punch to the shoulder trying to suppress a smirk. "You give yourself too little credit." She stands up, and walks to the door, before turning back. She looks like she wants to say something else to me, but leaves after changing her mind.

I lean back against the wall, and try to figure out what my next move is.

>Actions?
>>
>>22730200
See what Rider has to report.
>>
>>22730200
We are going to need some time to process the contents of the notes. Let's secure those, then talk to Caster about the symbols.
>>
>>22730200

[x] Talk to Ilya.

Should also let her know if she wants to, she can speak with Saber to find out more about her mom.
>>
>>22730247
I wonder if there are any pictures of Irisviel anywhere. That'd be a good what to stun Shirou speechless.
>>
>>22730200
Talk to rider over food.

Let's save talking to Illya until we sort ourselves out.
>>
>>22730200
>dat feel when questrunner uses my response almost word for word
>feels good mang

Aight, Rider got home over an hour ago, time for a status report. We'd best get to rune-talk soon though.
>>
>>22730307
>>22730261

Speaking of, I wonder how she would feel about Shirou's not-harem.

>>22730247
>>22730225

I think we should put off telling Ilya until we've had a chance to get used to the idea.

She deserves to know everything, but we should put it off for just a little bit.
>>
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>>22730341
>Iri/Kiritsugu/Taiga threesome
>>
>>22730307

>She probably would, when/if she grew up.

>inb4 'she ain't gonna'

>>22730276

>Well, you did get the winning votes.

>>22730357

>[How would she feel]

>Probably 'Oh god, I'm going to have so many Grandchildren to spoil!'

>I don't know. she might not actively endorse it, but I can't see it upsetting her either. She'd probably welcome Shirou and any/all girls he's having relations with with open arms.
>>
>>22730357
She'd probably give him a warm, motherly hug and then make an off-handed quip about sharks and treading warm waters. And then as soon as Shirou tries to press her for information, she gets all ADD on him and starts talking about dinner.
>>
>>22730399

Irisviel: Best mom.
>>
>So, I'm looking at the votes and it looks like everyone thinks Ilya should know about what you found out, but there's a divide on 'tell her now' and 'tell her later'. Since the vote seems to be leaning a bit towards 'later', what's the immediate plan of action?
>>
>>22730357
I think she'd be happy about the idea, but quietly pull Shirou aside and make sure that he knew that she'd be disappointed in him if he made any of them sad.
>>
>>22730432
Rider and caster, findings and crests, respectively.
>>
>>22730432

I'mma cast my vote towards "Later", and we can go see what Rider found out.
>>
Rolled 5

>>22730404
You can't just refer to a women's body as a piece of meat

I'm really fucking hungry and I don't want to fail my save vs a cannibalism fetish
>>
>>22730451

Taste like chicken.

Only more moist
>>
>>22730464
I've always heard it described as more pork-like.
>>
>>22730432
Rider's report.

Also, you misquoted my post there, hah.

>inb4 'she ain't gonna'
Well uh... she dies in two of the game's routes and in what could be a spoiler for the Fate epilogue that is Archer's backstory she dies about a year after the war ends anyway.

There's an absolutely heartbreaking doujin about it. Want me to find the link?
>>
>>22730464

So literally Finger Licking Good?
>>
>>22730493
It's called longpork for a reason after all.

offtopic sage
>>
>>22730432
I say tell her later.
>>
>>22730432
Let's talk to Caster about the symbols and ask Rider if she learned anything.
>>
After taking a deep breath to steady myself and checking my reflection in the mirror to make sure I don't look as frayed as I feel, I step back outside my room.

I wander through the house, and find Rider outside of Tosaka's room.

"Something happened to make the girls upset?" she asks me surprised.

"Kinda, yeah." I tell her. "Lot of baggage from the last war rearing it's head." I sit down next to her, looking across the yard. In my minds eye, I can see Sakura and Rin quietly crying together over the truth of what happened to the man they called 'Uncle'.

Rider taps me on the shoulder. "You feeling alright there?"

"Eh?" I respond, slightly startled and feeling like an idiot over it. "Yeah, just kinda concerned for them I guess."

"Ah. Coming to check on them? Based off what I'm feeling from Rin that wouldn't be a great idea right now." She says, frowning at the door.

"Actually, I was gonna give them their space. Came to talk to you, see if you found anything."

"Not much of help." She tells me with a shrug. "Found some worms that I think belonged to Zouken around town. At the temple, the Docks, The Mall....." She looks into the distance, or at least gives the illusion of doing so. "It looks to me like he's searching for something. The question is, what? He knows where we are, so is he looking for Avenger? The Vampire? One of the Archers?"
>>
>>22730681

"The Gold Archer is apparently Gilgamesh by the way." I tell her. "Kirei filled us in on some of the things that happened during the last war."

"Gilgamesh?" She says surprised. "Huh. I figured a figure so fabled would be less of a douchebag." She pauses thoughtfully. "Then again, maybe not that surprising. A lot of 'Heroes' have an Ego about three times the size they technically warrant."

"Actually, he might actually be that awesome." I tell her. "Which is concerning, seeing as how the only thing more visible than his self-confidence is the sun."

"Yeah." She says, thinking. "You sound like your grudge is kinda personal. He say something about Rin, or maybe Saber?" She finishes with a smug grin.

"Well you sound like you have a thing against 'heroes'. Got a story there?" I retort calmly.

She's quiet for a moment, before turning away. "Damn, you are good. Fine, keep your secrets." She responds airily, while putting on an act of elaborate disinterest.

>What say?
>>
>>22730688

>What say?

"I'll show you mine if you show me yours."
>>
>>22730710

I'm not I want to let loose that the reason why shirou went a little off was because of Rin.

Can we just say he insulted our girls?
>>
>>22730688
"My god, woman, you take a joke about as well as I take criticism."

Also this. >>22730760
>>
>>22730758
This is probably best, as they're in the next room and may walk in as we start talking
>>
>>22730760
>>22730710
These
>>
>>22730688
Pretty much this. >>22730758
>>
>>22730688
"Come on, you know you're interested in my personal life. I think standard procedure is for you to tell your secrets and me to tell mine.

It's not even that much of a secret, you dislike heroes which suggests that you aren't exactly a traditional hero, you might not even count as a 'hero', you don't show your eyes, and you've got a winged horse. It's not going to be hard to work out if you don't tell me."
>>
>>22730767
>Shirou
>calling a classy lady like Rider "woman"
We have more class than that, anon.
>>
>>22730688
"No secret this. He spent half the last war being a dick and the other half stalking Saber, and in between beat every Servant he met until my father ordered Saber to destroy the Grail.

"Bet I can guess yours though. Not too many mythological figures need to cover their eyes--oracles of course, and the blind, but neither of those really fit. But say there's another reason to hide your eyes? Add a winged horse and an aversion to heroes, and the possibility that first comes to mind is...?

"I won't tell anyone of course, I'm just curious about you. I'm guessing that the story in the legends doesn't have much truth to it. I guess I'm glad though, I wouldn't like you being much like the Medusa in my book."
>>
>>22730811
Crap, you're right. Switch "woman" for "Rider".
>>
>>22730681
>"Ah. Coming to check on them? Based off what I'm feeling from Rin that wouldn't be a great idea right now." She says, frowning at the door.
Giggity.
>>
>>22730868
Let's drop everything else and JUST say this, instead. Minus the 'Though'.
>>
>>22730868
Definitely!
>>
>>22730887
...Touché.
>>
>>22730688
"My apologies, Rider. I didn't mean to offend you, or sound out your identity. I know you're keeping that close to your chest, for the time being.

"Let's just say Gilgamesh suggested a course of action I found insulting to the ladies in this househould, and earned my ire. "
>>
>>22730868
That would be utterly hilarious. And then we give just the right smile at the end, one where we look so proud that we found out her identity.
>>
"You take a joke about as well as I take Criticism." I tell her.

"You're about as insightful when it comes to women as I am charming."

"So I'm brilliant then?" I ask with a smile.

She chuckles. "Not yet. You play things a little too close to your chest for that."

"You're one to talk. I haven't even seen your eyes yet, since you're always wearing that blindfold. I mean, obviously they're going to be as pretty as the rest of you, but I'm kinda curious."

"Oh really." She says deadpan. "And what would you say was my most 'lovely feature'?"

"Your personality, natural charm and sense of humor."

She opens her mouth to retort, before hesitating. "You actually mean that, don't you?"

"Of course." I respond simply. "You've certainly got looks but if I was so easily enamored my head would have exploded from the parade I've had through here lately."

"..... You're sure you're a teenage boy?" She asks with a quirked eyebrow.

"God, I hope so. Alternative looks kinda grim." I hesitate, and then smile. "Show me yours and I'll show you mine?"

"I retract my previous question." She responds in a droll tone. "Besides, I'd rather not tell you who I am."

"Alright." I shrug. "He suggested a course of action I found despicable and offensive to my personal morals. And yes, it was directed at the women of this house."

"Knew it." She smirks. "I'm actually getting good at this detective thing."
>>
>>22731024

"I wear my emotions on my sleeve. Besides, it would hardly be fair to keep it a secret when you already guessed it and I kinda already know yours anyway."

Rider hesitates, and looks at me. "What?"

"You have a Pegasus, dislike heroes for some reason and keep your eyes covered." I shrug. "There's not really that many people it could match. I think the main reason I didn't realize right away was how much of an unforgivable hack-job historians gave your personality."

Rider stares at me blankly. "You're.... you're not dumb at all, are you? Not even a little bit."

"I tend to give that impression, don't I?" I respond nervously, scratching the side of my head. "Is it just the overall nice and accepting attitude, or the 'reckless heroism' I perform reflexively messing with people?" I notice that she didn't really seem to appreciate my joke. "I wish you'd relax. I have no intention of harming you, and your secret's completely safe with me."

She calms down slightly, while still giving me an incredulous look. "Alright, so clearly I underestimated you. How come you don't run around dispensing profound insight?"

"Because then people would stop underestimating me."

Staring at her face, I don't think I could blow her mind any harder without risking permanent harm.

Maybe to her as well.

>Say anything else? Or go elsewhere?
>>
> "You're.... you're not dumb at all, are you? Not even a little bit."

Yessss, how many more times can we get this said? Last line for the end boss?
>>
>>22731047
Yep, we should say that.
>>
>>22731028
Mention that we sent Lancer off to try to convince his master to meet us, and that it might be a good idea to avoid Servant deaths until we fix the Grail. If it CAN be fixed.
>>
>>22731028
>>22731024
>master pimp shirou
so yeah we are far off character rails AND I DON'T GIVE A FUCK
>>
>>22731028
"Of course I'm not dumb, nobody could be quite as dumb as I appear and manage to live this long. There's just advantages to letting people think that.

Lean in closer and whisper "But I still have one thing that's bothering me, I thought Bellerophon was a guy and why would he wear a blindfold?"

Keep a contemplative look on our face before switching to smiling like a loon while slowly back out of the room, hopefully the shock will give us enough of a head start to run.
>>
>>22731028
>Rider stares at me blankly. "You're.... you're not dumb at all, are you? Not even a little bit."
This is the best reaction, every time. It has never failed to make me howl in this quest. I've said it before but you rock AC-Guy.

>>22731110
I cannot breathe I am laughing so hard. Help. Help.
>>
>>22731105
The rails were meant to be broken. Besides, we're not SHIROU, we're a soulless being created to imitate a magus who just happens named Shirou.

>>22731135
I do my best.
>>
"Seriously though, I'm not dumb. At least not as dumb as I come off as, nobody could be and survive this long." I hesitate, doing everything in my power not to smile. "One thing that bothers me though."

"Oh?"

"I always thought Bellerophon was a man. And why wear the blindfold?" I ask, quirking an eyebrow.

Rider's face goes completely blank for about three seconds, before a smile starts to appear. "Oh you're good. For a second there you almost had me."

"Damn. What gave me away?"

"You were just a little TOO composed to pull it off." She responds, more at ease. "Like you'd spent time considering and picking your target."

I sigh, shaking my head. Tunnel vison, the one problem Archery will never correct. "Worth a try."

"From your perspective." She responds, a slight undertone in her voice I can't quite place. "It doesn't really reflect well on you as a man to take such pleasure in toying with a girl's emotions."

>?
>>
conversations with rider are always the best.
>>
>>22731201
>rider figured out we were screwing with her.
damnit.
anyways off to go give infos to illya.
>>
>>22731201
"Perhaps not. But would I be half as entertaining if I was always perfectly well-behaved?"
>>
>>22731246 , and then off to Ilya.
>>
>>22731201
"I don't just mess with girls, I'm an equal opportunity kind of guy. It's just that everyone staying in this house except for me is female or unconscious and--

"Wait. Everyone consciously living but me in this house but me is female. This... is an extraordinary development. What do I do?"
>>
>>22731269
this.
>>
>>22731201
"Having a strong sense of justice and wanting to protect people doesn't preclude me from having a sense of humor. Without one these wonderful chats we have would be much less interesting.

Also I'm pretty sure you enjoyed talking just as much as I did. If I have overstepped my bounds and toyed overly much with your emotions you have my deepest apologies and if you would like me to tone it down I will do my best to do so.

It was lovely talking to you but I have to go see my Little Sister about a few things, if you need anything just let me know."
>>
"Having a strong sense of justice and wanting to help people doesn't mean I'm not allowed to have a sense of humor." I smile at her. "Without one, I don't think you would enjoy these chats nearly as much. Besides, It's not like I take great pleasure in messing with girls. It's just that everyone in this house except me is female or unconscious." I blink heavily, realization blooming in my mind. "Wait. Everyone living here other than me is female. This... is an extraordinary development. What do I do now?"

"You seem to have the matter well in hand." Rider comments.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"If you don't already know, the end result is going to be either hilarious or horrifying."

On that note, I leave to find Ilya. I see her in the yard with the puppy, and see Berserker watching the scene in a silent vigil. He spots me, and seems to be watching me with a frown.

[ ] Go talk to Ilya.
[ ] Speak with Berserker.
[ ] Watch.
[ ] Be elsewhere.
>>
>>22731444
[x] go speak with berzerker
we should probably let her be for a bit with the dog, and he is pissed at us for something.
>>
>>22731444
[X] Speak with Berserker.

See what's up with him before we interrupt Ilya's play time.
>>
>>22731444
[x] Speak with Berserker.
He's mad we made Illya sad.
>>
>>22731444
>[X] Go talk to Ilya.
Going to speak with Ilya at some point. Might as well get it out of the way now.
>>
[x] Speak with Berserker.
Ask him how SIr Bedivere Diarmuid the Third is doing.
>>
>>22731444
"There's a higher than average chance that this is going to turn into a 'I know that you know that I know that you know' situation so I'm just going to skip that part and ask how much Illya knows."
>>
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>>22731444
>[ ] Speak with Berserker.
Oh come on Rider, it can't end THAT badly. Look how it worked out for this fine young man!
>>
>>22731489

Show proper respect, for he is Sir Bedivereere Diamutt the Third, Espire!
>>
>>22731511
>implying
just because tenchi eventually ascended into godhood does not mean shirou will do the same.
>>
>>22731502
More or less. Note that Rider's still treating Shirou like his canon self.

It'll be fun to make her realize Shirou's not a moron again.
>>
>Had to switch computers and deal with a couple of things.

>I need a couple minutes before I'm ready to continue.
>>
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>>22731678
Good to know, i thought it was over
>>
>>22731682
Hey wait a second, i don't see Kotomine in that list
>>
>>22731682
>Sacchin-Reloaded
Reload before the Grail War begins.
>>
>>22731694
i think kotomine is farther down then before this thread because shirou found out how much of a dick he is.
however hes still probably around 7 because still: sakura a slut.
>>
>>22731682
>Sakura at the bottom
;-;
oh well we cured her so I guess that's okay
>>
>>22731682

>Sacchin-reloaded

I want to introduce rider to her.

Then it will be Rider/Ayako
>>
>>22731785
>Hisui true end
>Kohaku an heroes
my heart died alongside her ;_;
>>
>>22731444
>"If you don't already know, the end result is going to be either hilarious or horrifying."
Story of my life.
>>
>>22731785

That's the mindset going into this quest, yeah.

And as type that, I suddenly realize how hard we keep getting fucked by our preconceptions here.

Maybe we should spend more time with the Moe Blob? She seems to have developed a personality and is apparently QUITE different from canon.
>>
>>22731799
There are times I am annoyed that I have memory problems.
And then there are times, like this, that I'm glad I don't remember.
>tfw all you recall of Tsukihime is Arcuid being adorable, Shiki hating on chairs, Ciel loving curry, and Akiha having an awesome name.
>>
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>>22731799
I cried. Even though Hisui is my favorite Tsukihime, I cried for Kohaku.
>>22731831
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nehYBw__AyQ
>>
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You know, figuring out who we're gonna stick our hyper weapon in is nice and all, but we really should remember who not to piss off in the meantime, especially since most of them can make life become rather unpleasant.
>>
I walk over to Berserker. "Malik, you walk like the world rides your shoulders. Given the way you were watching her, I suppose you have bad news?"

"Something like that. Family stuff."

"I see." He sighs. "It is of course, your business, but do you think now is the best time? There's a current in the air that suggests things are about to get worse for all of us. It might be best to let her have this happiness, if it's only fleeting."

"Giving family advice? I have to say, not sure I expected that from you."

"If there is anyone who is an expert on how to ruin familial relations, it is me. She's strong, inside where it counts. I would prefer to see her happy, compared to the life she was forced to lead until now."

"It's kinda important...." I tell him hesitantly.

"If she needs to know, she needs to know. but there is no harm in letting it wait." He tells me. "Ultimately though, it is your choice. perhaps I a being a sentimental fool and telling her is the wise choice."

Ilya notices me, and waves happily. I wave back, watching as the pup cheerfully takes the stick out of the distracted Ilya's grasp, running around triumphantly ahead of my indignant little sister.

[ ] Talk to Ilya.
[ ] Be elsewhere.
>>
>>22731927
>Talk to Ilya
But don't say anything about our father quite yet. Just to visit.
>>
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>>22731927

....

Fuck it.

[x] Play with ilya
>>
>>22731927
>[ ] Talk to Ilya.
But not THAT talk. Just spend a little time being her brother.
>>
>>22731885
>that fucking filename I cannot contain my amusement.

>>22731927
>Play
We can only put it off for so long though. Let's hope anime therapy kicks in so we're ready to talk about it tonight.

Actually, let's resolve to tell her tonight.
>>
>>22731927

I was >>22731936, but I'll change my vote to >>22731947
>>
>>22731927
[X] Talk to Ilya.

And by talk I mean play. Play with her and the puppy. Give her hugs, pick her up and spin her around a few times. Be her big brother, we have 16 years of big brothering to catch up on.
>>
>>22731927
Tell Cain thanks, for the advice.

>Talk to Illya
Ask if she's considered a name for the Mongrel yet. Suggest Bedevire, if prudent. If questioned, tell her it's the name of a noble and trusted knight.
>>
>>22731927
[x] Play with Ilya
>>
My resolve crumbles and I thank Cain for the perspective.

I take the stick from the Pup and throw it for him, and he gleefully chases it across the yard. "Onii-chan? what's going on?"

"Nothing, just had a second. Thought I'd spend it with you." She beams up at me. "Think of a name for the Pup yet? We can't call him 'dog' forever".

Ilya blinks and shakes her head. "No, not yet. I was trying to come up with something noble sounding, but names like that have a horrible tendency of getting silly."

In the back of my mind I feel some horrible abomination of a name taking shape, but I quickly shake my head to clear such thoughts. "Maybe just name him after someone fitting like Berserker suggested?"

"... Maybe, yeah. Any ideas?"

"Bedevire?" I say with a shrug. "Knight, noble, very dutiful and protective."

"Huh. why Bedevire? There's better known knights, especially in Arthur's court."

"Well, yeah. But Lancelot seems a bad fit, Gawain seems wrong somehow, and Mordred sets the wrong tone entirely." I tell her. "There's other knights as well, Charlemagne's Paladins come to mind, but they aren't as well known."

She seems thoughtful, looking at the puppy as it proudly returns the stick to her. "Bedevire...." She looks back at me. "It's a very good name, but I'm not quite sure it fits."

I shrug. "Just a suggestion."
>>
>>22732197

I spend a couple of minutes playing with the pup and spending time with my sister. I get up and walk away smiling, when I feel a sense of unease in the back of my mind. It's been a while since the sisters locked themselves up, but I can still feel a healthy measure of despair coming from her.

I sigh, glancing at the time. It's a little too early to start seriously cooking dinner, but I start mentally making a list of what needs to be done when I hear a knocking at the door.

>I think I'll end it here for the evening.

>If the thread's got some life in it tomorrow I'll do a little something then too, though it might not be a full thread.

>In the meantime, feel free to post whatever insane theories you got. They're always entertaining.
>>
>>22732215
Lancer's master is actually Kirei. And the vampire is that robed person who came for the orphans.
>>
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>>22732215

>Its Ayako at the door!
>>
>>22732313
>Again.
>>
>>22732403
And Archer's Master.
>>
>>22732431
And his blood. Also, Archer wants to give Shirou the dick
>>
>>22732215
It's Arc at the door. We've spent so much time seeing to our social links that Avenger and Kinpika have managed to finish their nefarious plot and we're currently stuck in a dreamland loop.
>>
>>22732542
>>22732431
>>22732418
>>22732403
>>22732353
>>22732313
oh god
>>
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I think Shirou will open the door, and find no one there. Instead, there's just a huge, autographed poster Arcuied, from the modeling job she did in Tsukihime.

Shirou DID say he wanted it.

He'll bring it inside, and shut the door. Only the bell will ring again. This time an even larger picture of Arcuied, with a larger autograph.

Third time, it'll be Arc herself, grinning.
>>
>>22732705
I just had the BEST idea
We get those pics of arc, go to an ad agency, and get her face plastered all over every bus stop, bill board and payphone in the city.
Just her face, with her name in that fancy curly writing.
The mages will flip. Their. Shit.
>>
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>>22732705
And then she'll hand him an envelope containing pic related, autographed 'To Emiya Shirou, Much Love, Arcueid Brunestud'.
If Rin ever finds it, it will be The Flustering x 1000. Best part? She won't dare take it away - she might insult Arc by doing so.
>>
>>22732754
That would be fucking hilarious.

>>22732834
And this is plainly evil.
>>
>>22732855
>TwoGirlsInThisGifGotRapedAsChildren.gif
...But they're all still children.

So are you for watching cartoons.
>>
>>22732967
>>22732845
Meh. I have ideas, I toss them out.
Quality Control and Usability Testing is the job of others.
Use the first half of the idea, and cut the second, if you rather. That (and the separate image) is why I made two posts. 1 is hijinks, 2is maximum overtroll.
>>
>>22732215
>It's been a while since the sisters locked themselves up, but I can still feel a healthy measure of despair coming from her.
>I can still feel a healthy measure of despair coming from her.

Wasn't it said before that demons could feel and/or feed off the emotions of those around them?
>>
>>22733338

Not the first time it's happened.

There's been enough casual references to Rin's emotional state even when there's no direct, logical way to know about it to freak me out.

If memory serve's, we've also been doing it to Ilya, Saber, and Sakura to lesser degrees.
>>
>>22732215
My apologies since this snippet is deep in the middle of the thread.

>Shirou is now aware of a general timeline of events in Fate/Zero. The parts experienced by Saber and Kiritsugu were the same as in canon.

Does Shirou now have in character knowledge of Avalon and its properties?

If so, can it be used to heal Souichirou-sensei from whatever is afflicting him? Caster might take drastic measures if this problem continues to be unresolved. And one less Servant and Master to worry about might ease some worries.

On the other hand, revealing this card at this point might result into an even worse consequences by the time Shirou's party reaches the end game. He may need all the advantages he can get since there's still the vampire, Gilgamesh, and Avenger to contend with.

Which would be the most prudent course of action between these two choices /tg/?
>>
Rolled 79, 98 = 177

Well shit. I slept in for a class that ended up being canceled, and I also missed the thread.
Polite sage for off topic while I catch up and work on timeline (which is has only the first threads so far).
>>
>>22733384
I was assuming it was just the standard anime trope...BUT OH GOD WE ARE THE DEMONS!
>>
>>22734011
odd sage you've got there...
>>
>>22733962
can we try to project a copy of it? and give that to souichirou? after getting caster to promise not to tell anyone?
only give him the original if the projection fails
>>
>>22733962
Normally, I'd say keep Avalon. however in the Fate route if you didn't give Saber Avalon, you got a bad end no matter what.
I know we're miles away from any of the canon routes, I'm just throwing this out there.
>>22734591
Yeah, I know. Obviously I forgot to change that.
>>22733384
I... never noticed that. More proof that we might be a demon...
>>
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>>22733384
>>22734869

At least we are not a zombie
>>
I'd follow your twitter too, ACGuy, but I'd sooner kill myself than sign up for an account.
>>
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>The one time I'm ever on when F/SA is on and I'm caught up
>AC-Guy's left the building
>>
>>22734755
From what I recall, Avalon only works for Shirou because 1) it's been part of him so long and 2) Saber's feeding it her power unconsciously.

However, if Shirou can use it for any reason I haven't thought of, then using it on Souichibro is a possibility.
>>
>>22742127
You're half right. He's able to project it in the Fate route after returning it to Saber because it had been a part of his body for a decade while anyone could benefit from the healing aspect as long as the bore the sheathe. Avalon spent the entirety of the fourth War in Irisviel and then Kiritsugu working its magic on them as needed.
>>
>>22742673
And that's why it's his best projection, right?

I remember reading that he's able to project Avalon the best because he understands it better than anything else. I may be wrong.

IF that is the case, then a projection would suffice for Souchirou.
>>
>>22742673
An interesting point that occurred to me a few threads ago:

In the UBW and HF routes, Avalon stops working or at least has its effects severely diminished after Shirou loses his contract with Saber. We haven't had a contract with Saber for a loooong time, yet our regenerative capabilities don't seem to have diminished in the slightest.

Remember when we accidentally lit ourselves on fire with gasoline, then spent what was probably the better part of a minute running around like the goddamn Human Torch, and like a minute later we were completely fine? Even working at full power Avalon shouldn't have regenerated us THAT fast. Something else is keeping us alive.
>>
>>22742815
I think it was a subconscious use of structural magic to repair the damage.
>>
>>22742815
>>22742863
If we're actually a demon, then Avalon might not even be needed.

Demons are ideals and wishes given form.

You can't kill an idea that easily.
>>
>>22742767
Pretty much, yeah. The thing has spent all this time embedded into something close to, if not really, the entirety of his being. Word of God puts it as being the reason his Origin & Element are both Sword.

From what I recall though Shirou isn't aware of Avalon's presence within him though after reading the notes on the fourth War he should have enough to think of the possibility of Avalon having been placed inside him and being checked to confirm. Saber might be able to tell if she tries given how tied to it she was/is but otherwise it shouldn't be hard at all between everyone present.

I still can't help but wonder what the game-breaking ideas AC-Guy mentioned before are. Guess it's just another reason to go back through the threads.
>>
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>>22742899

That means...

we're still running off the wish of Kiritsugu's for shirou to live, when the avalon was implanted?

Thats why he can't seem to die even after accidentally himself on fire?
>>
>>22742899
Daily reminder that the Demon theory also likely means that WE KILLED KIRITSUGU.

Which is why I would bet money its the correct theory, because nothing good is allowed to happen in Fate.
>>
>>22742815
>>22742863
>>22742899

Actually, it doesn't need a contract if Saber is nearby. That's how it healed Iri (She was never the actual Master), and it's implied that Avalon was working during the duel with Archer in UBW, where Saber was in the room.
>>
>>22742922

I think the Perpetual Prana Machine mentioned very early in the quest might have been one
>>
>>22742998
>Perpetual Prana Machine
What? I have to see this.
>>
>>22742998
the only thing I can think of when you say perpetual prana machine is the generator from the Seattle Grail Wars.

>>22742947
It's what he would have wanted!

>>22742926
And then Shirou was the immortals.

And so is Angry Manjew
>>
>>22743148
>>22743168
Gil has an artefact that generates Prana.
Plug that into the Grail, free wish with 0 Servant deaths.
>>
>>22743148

It was a throwaway remark made when Kirei (long may he suck dicks) mentioned that Shirou's knowledge of machines meant that with his reinforcement/tracing, he could boost a machines efficiency past what is normally possible.

The idea that sprung up was whether he could boost it to such an extent, it machine gave out more prana than what was put in.
>>
>>22743230
What if we somehow made a drinking bird that generates prana?
>>
>>22743148
If its the hairbrained plan I'm thinking of, it went something like this:

1. Use our magic to help Rin construct the Gem Sword of Infinite Prana
2. Plug it into the Grail
3. Kick Angry Manjew/Avenger's ass so the Grail stops being filled with hate.
4. Use now fully-charged uncorrupted Grail to give all the Servants real bodies, everyone lives, yay!
5. Fuck Rider senseless.

Not sure if thats the one we're talking about, but it was certainly one of our "fuck the rules, WE META NOW" plans.
>>
>>22743222
Then all we need to do is enter the Gate of Babylon.

It's a separate realm, correct?

We should be able to survive inside, and if we get Lancer to use some runes, I'm pretty sure there's a configuration that allows one to seek things out. After that, we wait for him to get into a fight with someone, and grab onto a weapon as he summons it.

Plus, going into the gate means we get ALL the traces.

And we want all the traces.

Shirou only ever copied somewhere around 17 of Gil's swords in UBW.

This is our chance to surpass the original!
>>
>>22743332

Hmmm....

Has Archer actually seen the artefact?

If he has, he just needs to trace it for us to look at and we can recreate it.
>>
>>22743332
>Shirou only ever copied somewhere around 17 of Gil's swords in UBW.

Yeah, but he also copied, like, all of Archer's. Because he went full retard and actualized his Reality Marble in front of us.
>>
>>22743290
>5. Fuck Rider senseless.
I like this plan a lot.
Can we expand that to all the harem, though? Not just Best Servant?
>>
>>22743375
Guys. I just had another best idea.
Shirou is basically a sword, right? From a magical 'oh god what the fuck is that physics crying in the corner' standpoint, I mean.
Well, why doesn't he Trace HIMSELF? Sure it'll cost a shitload of Prana but we'll be able to cook AND shop AT THE SAME TIME.
>>
>>22743424

I believe the trace and replicate shirou plan was already shot down by AC-Guy
>>
>>22743424
You'd end up with a very sharp Shirou who would only be good for cutting.
>>
>>22743424
As interesting an idea as it is, I dislike the idea of anyone but Shirou romancing Shirou's waifus (because that is where all things inevitably lead to). Even another Shirou.
>>
>>22743424
Because he's still a person/demon and it doesn't work that way?
>>
>>22743424
We thought of that.
AC-Guy pretty much said "no, thats retarded" if I recall.
>>
>>22743463
What if he romances himself?
>>
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>>22743499

Not unless we get a shirouko
>>
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>>22743624
That has a whole other boatload of problems.
>>
So, I know we were discussing it at one point, but did we ever decide on whether or not to go after Arcueid?

I support the notion, mostly because Shiki caused our chair to fucking EXPLODE while Rin was in the room, and NOBODY fucks with Rin on our watch. So I figure stealing Shiki's smokin' hot vampire princess while he is out of the country would be a great "fuck you".
>>
>>22743686

Are you crazy?

Go after a woman in a healthy happy relationship?

Shirou isn't such a dick.
>>
>>22743673

Archerko is love.
>>
>>22743686
She seems like more of a fembro to me.

Casual mana transfers are totally okay too.
>>
>>22743686
I for one am against it. We can become friends with her, but nothing more than that. Shiki has his women, and Shirou his.
>>
>>22743686
Um, I can't really condone this.
Arc would kill us, by the way.
If Shiki doesn't.

Honestly, the most we can do to fuck with Shiki is project the Iron Throne.
Because fuck that guy, we summon chairs if we want.
>>
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>>22743735
Indeed she is.
>>22743754
There's always Gae Bolg. I'm kidding.
>>
>>22743728
>Go after a woman in a healthy happy relationship?

Don't forget, she let slip that Shiki is currently in France... with Ciel. Things clearly aren't so cut and dried.

Its that, or Shiki comes home to find his entire property covered in life-size copies of the Iron Throne.
>>
>>22743754
Actually, once we can do Unlimited Blade Works we probably have enough firepower in our little Justice League to take her down, not that it would ever come to that.

After all, Reality Marble trumps Marble Phantasm, and without that she wouldn't be able to withstand a Saber+Rider+MOTHERFUCKING CAIN dogpile.
>>
>>22743813

Didn't AC-Guy say that Ciel's good ending was the one used?

I think only Ciel had some reservations about the whole thing.

Arc would probably happily sex up Curry-sempai
>>
>>22743813
They're pretty much in the same relationship Shirou has with Rin and Saber at the end of UBW, but with less dependence on mana transfers.

She also seems pretty damned attached to him, and if I learned ANYTHING from Tsukihime, it's that one does not NTR Shiki's girl.

He killed Nero Chaos because if anyone was going to touch Arc, let alone hurt her, it would be him. Well, not him. Him. But you know what I mean.

We're not going after Arcuied.
>>
>>22743901
Forgive my ignorance, I haven't finished that route yet, but didn't Ciel and Arcueid pretty much hate each other's guts?
As far as I can tell, every time they meet it turns into Ultimate Catfight Deathmatch: Fuck You Bitch Edition.

I know the Ciel Good End results in Shiki getting both of them, but do they seriously just stop hating each other? I just assumed it was a truce to avoid accidentally killing Shiki in the crossfire.
>>
>>22744101
>>22743901

pretty sure AC-Guy said this was a route that isn't canon.
He explained it a few threads ago, I think.
>>
>>22744101

>Ultimate Catfight Deathmatch: Fuck You Bitch Edition.

You have no idea how hard that made me laugh.

>>22744124

It was more like 'all Routes are canon at the same time'.

Part of me did it because I wanted to try and make the most fans happy as I could at once, but I'd be lieing if I said I didn't want to see if I could turn something about the setting into a bigger fustercluck without breaking the 'rules' of the setting or characterization.
>>
>>22744101
>do they seriously just stop hating each other?
No. Imagine a tug of war between them, with Shirou in the middle, and you have a roughly accurate mental image.
>>
>>22745539
Right-o. 297 replies as of now.
>>
>>22744101
>>22745767

>Eh, they kinda do. They still bicker from what I've seen, but it's much moire of a 'friendly rivals' than 'it's on now, bitch'.

>Anyway, bonus content. Should I keep running and ride this quest into auto-sage, or do you guys want 'something else'?

>I have no idea what this 'something else' might be. Non-to-semi canon side stories/adventures?
>>
>>22745809
How about the misadventures of Gil about town?
>>
>>22745809

NEW THREAD INTO AUTOSAGE
>>
>>22745809
The post after this will put us in auto-sage actually.

Also, isn't the amalgam route canon to Melty Blood?
>>
>>22745809
We're in autosage, uh, now.
>>22745834
KIN KAISER, ALLY OF JUSTICE
>>
>>22745852
>>22745846

>I meant more like 'ride the sage into the fucking ground.

>>22745842

>Tempting, but I need some time off for personal reasons after this.
>>
>>22745870
I'd say do the mysterious "something else". We're in autosage, so i doubt we'll get a whole lot done if we continue the main quest now.
>>
>>22745870

Same. Ride the sage into the ground then.

Post on your twitter to let folks know shit is still going on.
>>
>>22745870
I realized that about .2 seconds after I hit "Submit". Anyway, let's do this Carnival Phantasm style!

I suggest a Kin-Kaiser skit and then Grail-kun.
>>
>>22745958
Yessssss.
KIN-KAISER FOR KINGSHIP AND TREASURE.
>>
>>22745958

Rider stalking Ayako skit.

She smelt something nice that time but didn't get a chance to bit in.
>>
>Something Else.

[ ] Kin-Kaiser Adventures!
[ ] Lancer the Pirate!
[ ] Grail-Cup bowling!
>>
>>22745995
Lancer.
>>
>>22745995
>[ ] Lancer the Pirate!
Is he in space?
>>
>>22745995
Kin-Kaiser all the way. Golden batman is to good to pass up
>>
>>22745995
[x] Lancer the SPACE Pirate!
>>
>>22745995
Kin-Kaiser.

Unrelatedly, if we end up doing this more than once we'll need a sarcastic name.
>>
>>22745995
[x] Lancer the Pirate!
He dies in the end, obviously.
>>
>>22745995

Lancer the Pirate!
>>
>>22745995
[x] Kin-Kaiser Adventures!
The choice of Kings.
>>
>>22745995
[X] Lancer the Pirate!

Grab hold of that booty Lancer!
>>
>>22745995
>[ ] Lancer the Pirate!
yohoho
>>
>>22745995
>[x]Adventures of KinKaiser and Yandere Bike
>>
>>22745995
>[X] Kin-Kaiser Adventures!

For JUSTICE!
>>
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>>22745995

If it involves Lancering that space pirate.

He IS already gay, after all.
>>
Smiling on the deck of your ship, you stare over the briny deep. A good day to completely ruin some poor Merchant's life.

"Archer!" You yell to the man banished to the crow's Nest. "Do you see any adventure on the Horizon?"

"Nope." He says, looking back down. "Just Ocean. What's our heading Captain?"

"ADVENTURE!" you respond, posing dramatic pose and pointing towards the horizon. "Out there somewhere, there's booty AND booty!"

"You said booty twi- Oh." He shakes his head in irritation.

"Stop being a pessimist!"

"Stop being an idiot."

"... Is this a mutiny?"

"Against what!? It's just us, lost in the middle of the Ocean! You expect me to rebel against the only guy here?"

[ ] Come up with plan.
[ ] Suppress the traitor.
>>
>>22746296

[x] Give him the GAY BULGE
>>
>>22746296
Mad plan time! We shall tame the dogs of the sea - sharks!
>>
>>22746296
>[X] Come up with plan.

As tempting as suppressing the dissident is, no pirate captain ever got anywhere without his less-intelligent less-charismatic sidekick to make him look good.

Double-booty isn't just going to fall into our lap, lets figure out the the fuck we're doing!
>>
>>22746344
FOR JUSTICE
AND HONOUR
>>
>>22746296
>[x] Come up with plan.

Prop Gae Bolg up, then let it drop. THAT'S our heading.
>>
>>22746296
[X] Suppress the traitor.

There'll be no traitors on my ship.
>>
>>22746296
>[ ] Suppress the traitor.
KEEL-HAUL HIM!
IT'S HIS TURN TO BE SUFFERING!
>>
>>22746296
[x] Come up with plan.
Throw the anchor off the front of the ship. Then drag it to the back. FOWARD MOTION!
>>
>>22746454
Better plan. Combine with>>22746344
And have mighty sharks draw this majestic sea chariot to double booty!
>>
>>22746485
If we are going to go for a cohesive plan.

>Beat up Archer until he bleeds.
>Use his blood to attract sharks.
>Wrassle sharks into submission.

And all of them might require rolls, which we didn't do for 2 threads already, I think. We must re-balance this dice rolling drought.
>>
>Alright, so what are we doing? Taming sharks?
>>
>>22746568
All of my votes. This is to funny to be a good idea and to funny to pass up.
>>
>>22746581
Using Archer's blood, yes.
>>
>>22746568
>Cut Archer with Gay Bulge
>Use him as fishing lure for sharks
>Tame sharks
>?????
>ADVENTURE!
>BOOTY!
>OTHER BOOTY!
>>
>>22746612
Wile keeping archer alive so we have someone to A) gloat at and B) attract more sharks.
>>
"How about you quit with the sass?"

"How about you grow some competence?"

"HOW ABOUT I SLAP YOUR SHIT!" You yell, plan forming in your mind as you race up the mast and Archer draws his bow in alarm.

[DC 15 CUNNING PLAN check]
>>
Rolled 14

>>22746652
We shall show him our TACTICAL GENIUS! He'll never expect a reckless frontal assault!
>>
Rolled 16

>>22746652
It will work.
>>
Rolled 17

>>22746652
WE ARE THE CUNNINGEST
>>
Rolled 12

>>22746652

CUNNINGLINGUS
>>
Rolled 9

>>22746652
TIME FOR GENIUS!
>>
Rolled 17

>>22746652
Shark bait!
>>
Rolled 15

>>22746670
>>22746674
>>22746675
This does not bode well for future Shirou-related rolls.
>>
Rolled 15

>>22746716
How so?
>>
>>22746732
We're not failing horribly now, which means we will fail horribly in the future.
It's simple statistics man.
>>
Rolled 18

>>22746732
Your roll makes 7/8 that are above 10 and, well, this is /tg/ dice we're talking about here.
>>
You leap past him at full speed, launching your spear straight down as he tries to defend against it.

With the momentum on your side, you kick him off his Perch, riding him back into the deck.

He stands up again, pissed off with a pair of swords in hand.

[DC 15 Combat check]
>>
Rolled 15

>>22746787

Time for suffering
>>
Rolled 15

>>22746787
>>
Rolled 14

>>22746787
Give me your blood!
>>
Rolled 18

>>22746787
>nat 1
>>
Rolled 4

>>22746797
>>22746799
>>22746809
>>22746810

Why is lancer so competent?
>>
>>22746817
Because in this Lancer's his name, not his class.
>>
>>22746817
Because this is silly side stuff. We aren't competent, everything is more incompetent than us.
>>
Rolled 10

>>22746817
I agree, he's meant to have Rank E luck right?
>>
Rolled 13

>>22746817
Because he's trying to force himself on another man so he can have his way with his body.
>>
You manage to land a few glancing grazing strikes, at the cost of a couple of your own.

After getting a healthy level of blood flowing, You drop your spear. "Alright, this is dumb."

"NO SHIT."

"Yeah, sorry. I'll fix this right up. Make it better."

"How?"

"New Minions!"

[Bluff check, DC 17]
>>
Rolled 5

>>22746965
>>
Rolled 9

>>22746965
DO NOT DOUBT YOUR CAPTAIN!
>>
Rolled 17

>>22746965
>>
Rolled 16

>>22746986
>>22746987
Well fuck.
>>
Rolled 17

>>22746965
>>
File: 1358921488109.jpg-(91 KB, 641x480, 1358293406729.jpg)
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>>22746992
>>
>>22746992
heh
>>
Rolled 7

>>22746965
I am the best liar.
>>
Rolled 12

Would shark pirates wear hats?
>>
"Alight." He says, crossing his arms. "How are we going to get new minions?"

"LIKE THIS!" You respond, grabbing him and leaping into the Ocean. He spits out a mouthful of water and stares at you.

"WHY!?"

"Because of that!" You point happily, at the oncoming sharks. "Now all we have to do is tame them!"

Archer seems to be frantically scrambling for a rope to climb.

Pussy.

[DC 20 What the fuck are you doing check]
>>
Rolled 17

>>22747309
THIS SEEMED LIKE A BETTER IDEA A MOMENT AGO.

We may be suffering from Scurvy.
>>
Rolled 18

>>22747309
They are the dogs of the sea, we're good with dogs!
>>
Rolled 3

>>22747309
This can't possibly fail.
>>
Rolled 5

>>22747309
I AM BEST PILOT FOR PIRATE SHIP
>>
>>22747309
Rollin for aqua-lancer
>>
Rolled 6

>>22747309
Damn stiff check. Must be a tiger shark.
>>
Rolled 6

>>22747323
>>22747322
So close.
>>
Rolled 5

>>22747309
After the first 3? No fucks given.
>>
>>22747332
Umm... Am I doing it right?
>>
>>22747322
>>22747323
>>22747324
Poor Archer.

It was nice knowing thee.
>>
>>22747309

AQUACHER

CAN'T SWIM VERY WELL

ATTRACTS MEATEATING FISH
>>
File: 1358922800860.jpg-(3 KB, 300x57, image.jpg)
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Rolled 8

>>22747382
dice+1d20 in the email field.

Also captcha is mocking me.
>>
>>22747422
Testing. Like this?
>>
>>22747309
So this will end with Lancer's death like 99% of all his appearances in Carnival Phantasm? I'm okay with this.

I hope he or Archer mentions having a weird dream about pirate ships and sharks when we see them next.
>>
"COME SHARKS!" You yell in triumph. "COME MEET YOUR NEW MASTER!"

Archer's already halfway up the ship, and as one of the Tiger sharks grabs your leg and drags you under, you realize that he might have the best idea.

[DC 18 shark Combat!]
>>
>>22747478
Dammit
>>
Rolled 8

>>22747490
Suck rune sushi!
>>
>>22747478
lowercase d
>>
Rolled 11

>>22747478
No, lowercase d.
>>22747490
SHARK COMBAT!
>>
Rolled 2

>>22747490
SHARK COMBAT!
>>
Rolled 13

>>22747490
This better fuckin work
>>
Rolled 15

>>22747490
Ok. We've established that this is in fact still Fate, not One Piece.

Now lets not die.
>>
File: 1358923139957.jpg-(210 KB, 686x441, 1350704380722.jpg)
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Rolled 12

>>22747490
Archer you traitorous shit get back here.
>>
Rolled 18

>>22747490
I feel like fish meat today!
>>
File: 1358923160215.jpg-(57 KB, 480x360, gaijin4koma.jpg)
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>>22747509
>>22747514
>>22747529

Suffering.
>>
>>22747534
>see dice
Fuck ye-
>see number
Dammit!
>>
>>22747559
Godfucking damnit Anon!
>>
Leadup to suicidal plan: "Holy fuck these dice are good"

Actual execution of suicidal plan: "DICE Y U NO ROLL GOOD?"

Rank E luck it its finest.
>>
Rolled 20

>>22747490
>BATTLE CONTINUATION
inside the shark's guts!
>>
Rolled 1

>>22747613
The dice have spoken!
>>
>>22747613
>>22747621

Rank E luck.

Still cannot catch a break and I cannot stop laughing
>>
>>22747621
Yes they have.
>>
File: 1358923394629.jpg-(21 KB, 484x382, 1340155640177.jpg)
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Rolled 17

>>22747613
>>22747621
AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
>>
>>22747576
Gimme a break, imma newfag. Although i see what all this rage about /tg/ dice is now
>>
You punch the shark in the Face.

Another shark grabs you, and you punch HIM in the face.

After the third shark punching, you remember you can't breath underwater.

[DC15 Swim Check]
>>
Rolled 11

>>22747668
>>
Rolled 12

>>22747668
The hell I can't!
>>
Rolled 3

>>22747668

DROWNING
>>
Rolled 8

>>22747668
Tactical retreat!
>>
>>22747680
>>22747681
>>22747690

Ahahaha.
>>
>>22747680
>>22747681
>>22747690
Oh god this is a metaphor for THAT BIKE.

The water is the horrible fire, the Sharks are the Harem, Lancer is Shirou.
>>
Rolled 10

>>22747668
So, how hard are you laughing at us frantically trying to enact stage three of our plan
>>
Rolled 14

>>22747668
This is like thirty seven styles of amusing.
>>
>>22747654
I'm not mad about that I'm mad that you rolled the 18 AFTER we needed it.

>>22747723
But see, if this were really Lancer then Lancer would be himself, the water would be his luck and the sharks would be dogmeat.
>>
>>22747804

The previous meal of the shark was a dog.
>>
You begin to swim towards the surface, when a tentacle grabs your leg and begins to pull down.

A FREAKING KRAKEN?!

A few shafts of light dance around you, freeing your arms, but it still has a firm grasp on you.

[DC 12 Gae Bolg Check]
>>
Rolled 2

>>22748274

THIS IS MY GAY BULGE
>>
Rolled 10

>>22748274
Gae Bolg make short work of Kraken!
>>
Rolled 17

>>22748274
This will end badly for all involved.
>>
Rolled 19

>>22748274
FUCK YOU OCEAN

>needBP waves
Yes captcha, we need the power of British Petroleum to defeat these waves!
>>
Rolled 12

>>22748317

Damn you anon.

Why did you stop the suffering
>>
Shoving the last of your air from your lungs, you send your spear down into the heart of the beast and tread water back to the Rope Ladder your Cabin Boy has dropped.

You scramble back onto deck, with a proud smile. "BEHOLD!" You wave grandly at the rising sea beast. "DINNER!"

"... Squid?"

"Do you know all the things you can make from Squid?"

"Yes. Do you?"

"Of course not. Then again, I'm not the ship's Cook."

".....I got demoted from First mate?"

"PROMOTED!" You tell him cheerfully. "From Cabin Boy."

You stare at each other, with your proud smile and his incredulous gaze for about fifteen seconds, before he bodily throws you back to the sharks.

>Alright, I hope you guys enjoyed the Extra. Don't think there's enough life in the thread for that, sadly.
>>
>>22748654
Heh. We should be on page 6 by the way.
>>
>>22748654
And a good time has had by all. 'Til next time.
>>
>>22748654
That was pretty entertaining.
>>
>>22748654
>before he bodily throws you back to the sharks.

Lancer died!



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