So, if it weren't already painfully obvious, last thread died, no archive because I'm stupid and my attention was forced elsewhere soon after starting the damn thing. I sincerely regret this occurring, but I shall do my best to make up for it.

Having said that, I'm going to post what little I managed to get done in the previous version of the thread, and then we'll see how much stupid shit we can do instead of getting anything done.

Also, thanks to the Anon who provided this awesome drawfaggotry which I decided to use as the thread image.

No, Deadbrain, I haven't forgotten your stuff either, I'm just saving that picture of Zuli you provided for a special occasion.

Furthermore, thanks to Faceless for always taking on the task of keeping the collections of HoboQuest, despite my continuously convoluted manner of posting and complete lack of anything resembling organization.

Without further ado, let us recap.

WELCOME BACK TO HOBOQUEST!

The quest where the OP is an unreliable pile of empty bottles but doesn't give a shit because he measures alcoholic intake in scientific notation anyway.

You are LINCOLN BISMUTH, ALCOHOLIC HOBO EXTRAORDINAIRE! And damn if you aren't ready to get you some more monstergirls. The ones you have already are nice, but you are nothing if not greedy. And nobody's going to tell you that's a vice, because monstergirls and booze and YOU HAVE TANK GODDAMNIT, DON'T ARGUE.

Having just made a rather diplomatically shady deal with a nine-tailed inari matriarch (which isn't really that bad, since you can't be accused of violating a deal you mostly can't remember anyway), you checked in with General Willams (rage spittle flying from his mouth as usual), who is finally getting around to setting up a radio tower on your side of the dimensional rift that you stumbled through about.....wait, how long ago was it? Fuck, you don't know. Either way, that means you won't have to go back to see him for a long time, because now he can yell at you through the radio. Which means less opportunities for him to attempt to murder you dead with his bare hands because you happen to destroy everything you touch and are actively trying to turn boob-grabbing and terrible come-ons into a recognized form of diplomacy.

.......PROGRESS!

You probably shouldn't dwell on any of that right now, though. After all, you ARE taking your first steps into the Corpselands, the blighted section of the Glorian Continent where all the undead things usually reside. Also, because there is currently a skeleton coming out of the ground and OH GOD IT'S GOT YOUR LEG GETIOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF---!

[roll 1d20 for Hobo Skeleton-Away]

You gurgle and scream at the same time as you lodge your current bottle of rum between your teeth and tilt your head back, guzzling the sweet delicious booze as you flail your leg in a blind panic.

You fail to break free, but at least now you're sufficiently drunk to deal with the problem in true Hobo Style.

......Wait, what are you saying? There is no such thing as SUFFICIENTLY drunk.

In the spirit of that notion, you decide to offer the skeleton some of your delicious ethanol bounty.....

......by hurling the bottle at its face, fracturing its skull.

Now you have a skeleton with half its head hanging off holding onto your leg.

You resume screaming for no particular reason.

[ROLL AGAIN, YA DRUNKEN BASTARD]

Summoning up an incredible amount of Hobo Fortitude, you take a deep breath and proceed to deal with the problem of the skeleton grabbing at your leg in a calm and appropriate fashion.

.......by filling it with bullets.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" You scream insanely as you fire the M14EBR into the skeleton's face as fast as you can pull the trigger. Surprisingly, despite the fact that you have nothing close to correct posture and are currently holding the gun upside-down, most of the metal messengers of death strike home, splintering the skeleton's already fractured skull and sending shards of bone everywhere.

The skeleton's arm goes slack, falling to the ground as the undead monstrosity crumples half-out of the ground.

"HA! EAT IT, BONEFACE." You spit at the now-decapitated undead, panting heavily as you wave the battle rifle in its now non-existent face threateningly. You grab for another bottle of Khalua, popping the top off and taking a long swig to dull the lingering sense of panic. And the ringing in your ears.

"Uhhh....well. I guess that's one way to get rid of a zombie......" Fritz hesitantly ventures, staring at the remains of the undead creature that lies at your feet.

"A tad excessive, don't you think?" Illiana offers from atop the tank, giving you a dubious stare.

You say nothing. You are too busy making mocking teabagging motions on top of the now-dead skeleton.

"Really, Lincoln?" Fritz groans, shaking his head.

"MY HOBO JUSTICE IS FLAWLESS."

---5 MINUTES LATER---

"Was it necessary to light it on fire?"

"You've clearly never played Resident Evil." You reply seriously to the staring three-tailed inari, who had smothered the skeleton's remains in her fire at your request. Burn the body so they don't become Crimson Heads. Sheesh, everyone should know that.

.....Well, it doesn't technically HAVE a head. Or a body. Just bones. SHUT UP YOU JUST LIKE LIGHTING THINGS ON FIRE.

"Resident wha---"

"Forget it. We need to keep moving, I'm already getting bored. Bored is not getting laid, which makes me unhappy." You continue to drink the Khalua, staring out over the Corpselands. You strain your vision as you take in your first real overview of it.

Looking at it now, you can honestly say.....it's sort of a cross between creepy and cliche. Graves, of all stones and types dot the land in scattered groups. The rest of the land looks like.....well, the best thing you can think of is that a nuke hit it. A really, really powerful nuke. The land is a blackened, mottled grey and mud-churned wasteland, covered in rubble and rock as far as the eye can see. The crypts and grave markers that covered the rolling, crater-desecrated area just made it feel.....bad.

Well, nothing a few undead honeys couldn't fix, but still. Pretty bad.

"Welp. This place is depressing as fuck." You aren't shy about making your opinion known.

"It's been this way for long generations now. Long before I was ever born." Illiana offers, a hint of melancholy tinting her voice. "It is said this was once a beautiful and bountiful land, with a massive temple to Glorian as the center jewel to its glory." The foxgirl bites her lip slightly before deciding to continue.

"But something happened. Nobody who knows the tales can say what, but......something happened, and the temple was reduced to ruins. So many died in the catastrophe. But what came after was worse. People, humans and non-humans alike, tried to go about their lives, pick up the pieces of the devastation. But.....they got sick. Very sick. And slowly, over time....."

The foxgirl hesitates, looking extremely uncomfortable with the topic. The Corpelands must have one hell of a bad reputation.

".....everyone who had ever lived here just died. And then? They started coming back. Crazy. Twisted. Angry. Some individuals managed to figure out how to control them, how to direct them, but they were quickly purged. By both sides. Nobody wanted a hand in necromancy. So they lands were eventually just left to rot away by themselves."

Illiana sighs heavily, earning a slightly concerned glance from Faye, silent and shy as ever. Her older sister returns her look with a reassuring one of her own before opening her mouth again.

"And now? Now it's like this. Dead. Decaying. Unsanctified. The home of countless shambling, uncontrollable abominations." The foxgirl shakes her head sadly, obviously distressed by the story. Well, that just won't do at all.

"Pfffffft. Not if I have anything to say about it." you mumble to yourself, turning away from your unofficial guide and turning to survey the Corpselands once more.

Something about that description just strikes you as.....wrong. You're not sure why, and it's probably just the alcoholic wisdom shivers again, but that tale just unsettles you in a way you usually reserve for conspiracy theories about THE MAN. All of which are true, of course, but you can't think about those now: time to press onward. TO ADVENTURE.

Graves to the left, graves to the right....graves, graves, motherfucking graves. THERE'S NOTHING BUT FUCKING GRAVES EVERYWHERE. You haven't the foggiest idea where to go. Then again, you never do, but right now it's pissing you off.

Welp, time to fall back on that greatest, most reliable method of decision making.

Let the alcohol decide for you.

>What do?

[ ] [go south]

[ ] [go southwest]

[ ] [go southeast]

[ ] [ask Illiana for directions even though she probably has no idea]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

>And then you rolled a 1 and mentioned panzer vore
>You poor bastards

As you debate which liquor you should choose to best take the responsibility of rational decision-making out of your hands, you get a sense that you're being.....watched. By something large and dangerous. Which is two adjectives that usually spell bad things for you.

You slowly turn your head to look behind you.......OH GOD IT'S THE GENERAL oh wait it's just a tank.

A German Panzer IV Ausf. D.

A German Panzer IV Ausf. D that currently has a shitload of tentacles protruding from its barrel.

......Wait.

"HOLY SHIMMMPHHGGRPPHH!!!' You begin what would have been an extremely long string of curses, only to have you screams muffled as the tentacle lurch out to wrap themselves around you. You struggle against the sticky appendages, only to earn a tight squeeze around your throat for your trouble, cutting off your air supply.

The tentacles begin to retreat towards the barrel, lurching you off your feet to crash into the ground. Even as you fight to maintain consciousness with the tight grip of the tentacle around your neck, you dig your heels into the ground, clawing at the blasted soil as you attempt to free yourself from what you suspect will be a particularly humiliating fate.

Which is why you REALLY get confused when you spot the demon tank's hatch opening, and some Asian chick with orange hair sticks her head out.

"KONICHIWA!" She cheerfully yells, eyes wide with giggling insanity. "We are so glad to see you, Lincoln-san! We have wanted meet you soooooooo much!"

"Mmmrph? (We?)" You question, panic overruled by what-the-fuck for a moment. You notice with a sinking feeling that the girl's head doesn't seem to be attached to a body; just a disturbing mass of flesh that melds with the tank's armor itself.

"Oh yes, WE! We are all one, you know! Such is the great art of panzerkraft. We meld our bodies and minds to become one with our vehicles! And we want YOU to join us, HOBO-SAAAAAAAAAAAAAN." She laughs madly, mind completely broken by the horrific gestalt melding. Your eyes widen in horror as you begin to flail madly against the resumed pulling of tentacles, oxygen be damned. But it is in vain.

Your humiliation does not end simply with your impending doom. The free tentacles not dragging you towards oblivion divest you of your clothing, entwining around your body and beginning to caress. You attempt to resist their ministrations, but your years of hedonism have not made you good at avoiding pleasure. You whimper haplessly as the tentacles slither up and down your cock, bathing it in all manner of secretions that set your nerves aflame and cause you to gurgle weakly as you explode into their embrace.

The tentacles seem please by your offering, absorbing your essence into themselves. But they are not satisfied, not even close. You don't even have the energy left to scream as they continue to molest you in front of your horrified companions.

You feel a brief moment of hope as you thud against the barrel, as you are clearly too large to fit down it. This hope is almost immediately extinguished, however, as the tentacles make very clear how they plan to pull you in: they're dissolving you.

You scream soundlessly against the tentacles' slimy embrace as their secretion melt away your flesh, your nerves burning and your skin crawling as your senses nearly overload from the pain. And yet, in one final cruel joke, the apparently aphrodisiac-infused slime causes you to spooge one last time from the sheer strength of the sensations that blast through your head, even as it is melted away.

Your companions stare in revulsion as what remains of you is slurped down the tank's barrel, the vehicle churning and shuddering as it apparently digests and begins to integrate your essence. But they are not even given time to mourn or scream, as Fritz is distracted by a strange tune echoing over the Corpselands.

"What is that.....?" He asks with a trembling voice, shaken from the atrocity he was just forced to witness. It doesn't take long for the spec-ops soldier to get his answer.

A group of old Russian tanks crest over a distant hill, roaring as they plow their way directly towards the remaining expeditionary group. Illiana hugs her sister close, trembling as the words to the song become ever-easier to discern as it echoes from the tanks' open hatches.

Расцветали яблони и груши,
Поплыли туманы над рекой.
Выходила на берег Катюша,
На высокий берег на крутой.

Выходила, песню заводила
Про степного, сизого орла,
Про того, которого любила,
Про того, чьи письма берегла.

Ой ты, песня, песенка девичья,
Ты лети за ясным солнцем вслед.
И бойцу на дальнем пограничье
От Катюши передай привет.

Пусть он вспомнит девушку простую,
Пусть услышит, как она поет,
Пусть он землю бережет родную,
А любовь Катюша сбережет.

>Hey, you SAID you wanted panzer vore
>I just took a different interpretation of "panzerkraft"
>HUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE

Welp, there's always the method you use whenever you get lost. Which is often.

Throwing your head back, you greedily slurp down the rest of your current booze bottle, shaking it above your head to get the last few drops out. Satisfied (for the moment), you trot over to the edge of the tank, placing the bottle on its side on a smooth portion of the armor.

"Erm, Lincoln? What are you---?"

"SSSSSSSH." you hush the three-tailed inari emphatically, before reverently giving the bottle a strong spin. The bottle clatters as it rotates, gradually slowing before.....

[Roll 1d3 to determine direction, first roll used]

......the bottle halts, quivering slightly as it points towards the southeast.

"THAT DIRECTION IT IS!" You roar, having no concept of directions, navigation, or sense. You move to clamber up onto the tank, only for Fritz to clear his throat. You turn to give him a questioning look.

"Since we don't have any idea where this temple thing is, I suppose that's as good a direction to look as any." He pauses, grimacing slightly before he continues. "Thing is, we'd best not take the vehicles with us. What with that skeleton and all popping up when you fucked with its grave, I feel like it might not be in our best interests to just go crushing them with a multi-ton armored vehicle."

Your moth shoots open to complain.....but you can only manage a strangled noise of indignant despair. He's right, after all. Even if you DO manage to find some sort of necromatic tome, it won't do you any good if you piss off the locals.

"Well, I'll come with you, then. You'll need SOMEONE who can do magic to protect yourself against the undead." Illiana hops down from the tank, striding over to you. You snort.

"We have guns." You motion to the imposing M14EBR in your hands.

"Undead are not all capable of being defeated with brute strength. You'll need my help."

"I DON'T LIKE THAT WORD."

"What, help?"

"No, I meant 'not'".

The foxgirl sighs, flicking her tails irritably before resuming her insistent gaze. "Faye can stay here and guard the vehicles and our still-slumbering companions. That leaves me to accompany you and ensure that you don't get yourselves killed."

Well, you're getting nowhere with this. Funny how arguing for no apparent reason seems to do that. Oh well, probably best to offer an actual solution now.

>What do?

[ ] [let Illiana come]

[ ] [Leave everyone except Fritz and you behind]

[ ] [wake up Zuli and Moira]

[ ] [fuck it, describe your own party arrangement]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

>THUS ENDS THE RECAP
>FIGURE SHIT OUT SO I CAN TYPE THE NEXT PART

>>22696908
imbibe liquor!

>>22696908
This decision isn't getting easier.

To fix this, of course, you down another bottle from your unfathomable amount of pockets.

>>22696908
>No, Deadbrain, I haven't forgotten your stuff either, I'm just saving that picture of Zuli you provided for a special occasion.

Woah, that's pretty nice of you to remember me considering that doesn't happen often to me.

I am actually trying to draw something HoboQuest related but since my brain feels like pounding against the walls of my skull, don't expect anything good.

Also voting for:
>[x] [wake up Zuli and Moira]
>[x] [let Illiana come]
>[x] [imbibe liquor]

>>22696977
I remember all who contribute to the thread, even if I don't say it all the time. This thing would be fun to write if I didn't have you all making me laugh the whole time, both those of you with tripcodes and those without.

Shame you've got such a bum of an OP, though. BUT I WRITE, SO I HOLD THE POWAH.

>>22696977
Seconding.
Then again, the guy from last thread who voted to leave Moira and Zuli behind to corrupt Faye with their lezzings made a very compelling argument...

>>22696969

welcome back to the land of the unliving HK.

as per usual, here are the links to the compilations.
The Misadventures of Lincoln Bismuth, Hobo Extraordinaire; https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QmsMoDt0fmOclLoslO4vchn04oTdqmdPdZd_7roTYXU/edit
and
The Book Of HUEs and UNDOs;
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yNxtD2LOcLrQpM-c9EGLpNLqHPpf4tT2RbtDU-Xs7oQ/edit


now, a re-post of the action that rolled a nat 20 last time;

>[imbibe liquor]
>[let Illiana come]
>[wake up Zuli and Moira]
>[imbibe more liquor]
>[ONWARDS!]

i will spare everyone from my horrible interpretation of HOW we that would happen, suffice to say an alternate spelling of 'come' and how that would wake up the others were key components to it...

>>22697232
Nat 20s are only a definite thing when it comes to actual roll calls. Nat 20s rolled in the midst of decisions ensure that SOMETHING good will happen, but the actual decision is still left up to majority rule.

Besides, this decision has led to you all coming up with two rather attractive options I thought y'all might want to debate a bit.

Rolled 3

>>22696908
Errybody comesh!
HOBO SWAAAAAAAAAAAG!

>>22697343 and then the tank was covered in orgy

i vote for the away team being Us, Fritz and Illiana. though before we leave, we should give Faye a Digial Camera and show her how to film stuff.
we'll either get Faye hiding OR some Hot MoiraxZuli action, with the sound of Faye commentating...

Jesus Christ how desolate.
Am I forced to unleash the poking stick?

>>22697514
What's wrong with orgy?

>>22697534

nothing. it's just the general would probably be even more inclined to kill us.

captcha has decided that now is the time for another musical number apparently.

also; HK, I've sent you a present to your e-mail. ENJOY IT!!!

>>22697573
But I wanted to see if we could make his head burst :(

See, you're split between dragging the whole party around for fun, or leaving about half of it behind in hopes that MAGIC happens while you're gone.

This amuses me to no end.

>>22697752

if fun DOES happen when we are not around, we could puppy-dog-eyes/guilt-trip/HOBO-SWAG them into doing something special for us...

>>22697752
Well, what exactly are the chances of FORBIDDEN MAGIC happening while we are gone? I feel like knowing this might influence decisions.

>>22697821
Are you referring to necromancy? Because I'm not going to just have your party stumble across the magic macguffin that opens the door to hot undead girl loving. That would be like having to rely on your NPCs to find game secrets.

>>22697821

well we know that Moira harbors feeling for Zuli, which Zuli has been shown to reciprocate...
Chances are good, but Hangover may lower chances, but the leaving of BOOZE should raise them back up again....

>>22697857
he meant Hot Oni on Werebat action. at least that's what i think he meant...

>>22697857
>Are you referring to necromancy?
Lesbians are forbidden love, so if Zuli and Moira getting it on is MAGIC, it must be FORBIDDEN MAGIC.
And now the secret to unlock necromancy is monstergirl lesbianism, isn't it?

>>22697898
.......................no comment.

>>22697900
So now we HAVE to leave Zuli and Moira behind. For science. Err, magic. Magic science.

>>22697898
>forbidden love

Why do I get there feeling that when we come back there's going to be a LOT of cherry blossom leaves and weird sparkles around the tank?

>>22697898
>>22697900
Sweet Jesus what

>[ x ] [fuck it, describe your own party arrangement]

we take the fuzzy flamethrower and head out leaving very strict instructions for fritz to alert us the SECOND the other two wake up/start sexytimes we will have a look about while we wait.

>>22697232
I am totally fine with this way of waking up the girls

You grouse silently over the issue for a few more moments before turning back to Illiana, look of grudging acceptance on your face.

"Alright, Illiana. You win. You can come with us, and Faye can stay here to watch my other harem members." You grumble, unused to not being the one to come up with all the good ideas. Wait, can you call this humility and then hold it up as an example as to why you should get some fox-tail? Maybe this isn't such a bad idea.

Illiana smirks at you. "Well, I'm glad you're finally listening to reason for once." She comments, looking rather smug. Alright, that shit's not gonna fly.

"I'm glad that you---HNYAAAAAAAAH!?!?" She shrieks mid-gloat, jerking as she finds herself with your hands on her ears, massaging and teasing. "L-L---AH!---Lincoln, d-d-dooooon't----!" The foxgirl moans as her sensitive ears get a workover. You giggle drunkenly as you ignore her protests, as usual.

"This is just to remind you who's in charge here, foxy." You mock her in a sing-song voice as you remove one of your hands from her ears, letting it drift down to the base of her tails and giving them much of the same treatment.

Illiana lets out a strangled combination of a whimper and a moan as you give her tails some Hobo Affection. You sweeten the deal by planting kisses up and down the length of her neckline, adding little nips to keep things interesting.

If there's one thing that Izaya taught you about her daughter, it's that she's rather sensitive. Good thing too.

Illiana's tails flail in sharp jerks as she almost sobs out a scream, fire streaming out in an uncontrolled burst to skip across the ground, mercifully missing you. She collapses out of your arms, laying in a panting, disheveled heap on the ground.

"If you think THAT was good, wait 'till you let me at the REAL fun bits." You chuckle, turning your attention to Faye, who is currently frozen in some sort of stoic shock. The younger inari sibling seems torn between hiding behind her tail again and burning what she just saw into her retinas.

"Faye?" The one-tailed inari jumps slightly before slowly nodding at you. "I need you to do me a favor." Another nod. Well, at least she's responding.

You walk around the side of the Abrams until you get to your shopping cart train. Rummaging through one of the carts full of "procured" items, you grin in triumph as you come up with a digital camera. Turning back to the watching foxgirl, you offer her the camera, which she reluctantly takes from your hands. Her shyness is overcome by curiosity for the moment as she regards the device in her hands.

"It's a camera. Let's just say it can preserve memories, yeah? So what I need you to do...." You proceed to show the girl how to work the device, which basically comes down to "hit this button here if Zuli and Moira start making out when they wake up." It might have been your imagination, but the inari seemed to nod her head a wee bit more eagerly at that last part. Girl's got her priorities straight, that's for sure.

"Well, if that's that, I'm off to go grave-robbing. And by graves, I mean undead vaginas. I'm counting on you, Faye!" You holler back at the diminutive younger foxgirl. You grin as you get some sort of salute in return. Oh, you LIKE her.

"Ready to go then?" Fritz questions, hoisting his own weapons to adjust the straps. Looks like he took the liberty of grabbing one or two from your cart. Not that you mind; he's probably better at using them anyway.

You nod, pulling out another bottle of scotch to begin the trip on the right foot. Illiana sidles up beside you, attempting to muster a glare at you for your impromptu orgasm gift-giving. You continue to give zero shits, since her shaky knees only prove to you that you're just that good.

"ONWARDS!" You roar, skipping off towards the southeast.

[roll 1d20 to avoid boredom-motivated stupidity]

Rolled 5

>>22700461

Rollin'

Rolled 13

>>22700461

I hope the dice god will watch over us...

Rolled 6

>>22700461
I can't think of any good (english) marching song. ah well

Rolled 14

>>22700461

Rolled 1

>>22700541

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDQ7hXMLxGc

How about this?

Rolled 18

>>22700461

rolling to be vored by time itself...

but if i get a 20 do we still get vored?

>>22700602

WELP

I might take this opportunity to write that not-quite-vore I talked about the thread before.

>>22700616

do it. then roll when you post it, see if you get vored by your vore...

Rolled 17

>>22700669

You trot through the bleak fields, quickly leaving your companions behind, lured by the promises of living undead girls.

Lost in your thoughts, you fail to notice a hand shoot out from the ground, grabbing your ankle. You however DO notice that the ground jumps out to meet your face. At the same time those hollow voices begin to chant

"Its close to midnight,
Something evils lurking in the dark"

After spitting out some of the dirt you take a look around and realize that dead bodies of all shapes and sizes rise from the ground. You can vaguely hear Fritz and Illiana calling out your name, but all thoughts of that are cut off when a pair of teeth clamp down around your leg.

"Under the moonlight,
You see a sight that almost stops your heart
You try to scream,"

The automatic reaction of every human being (flailing around like a maniac) does set you free, even if there's an unfamiliar feeling spreading through your body. And you saw enough B-rated movies to know what that means.

"
But terror take the sound before you make it
You start to freeze"

Instead of dying/developing a thirst for brains/doing whatever of those modern zombies do, you begin to feel a faint tune inside your head. Your eyes are drawn to the same spot your fellow zombies are staring at.

"As horror looks you right between your eyes
You're paralyzed""

A single man, a single zombie stands on the top of a giant gravestone. His clothes are old but still catch your eye. His voice is the only thing you can concentrate on right now. You can feel the chorus coming on, as your hands rise along with your undead brethren. The singer raises his hand and screams

"Cause this is thriller!"

>I apologize for using this one.
>But you really
>REALLY
>Should have seen this one coming

>>22701297
I came

>>22701594

i saw

Rolled 2

i told you guys to archive!
i told ya'll!

Rolled 11

>>22700461
why are we trying to avoid stupidity?

>>22703987
This happens from time to time, where it doesn't get archived. 'S no big deal.

>>22704291
Because I knew you would all inevitably roll poorly.

Rolled 14

>>22704552

fuck it, if we get really bored carry Illiana and position her infront of us,her legs clamped to our sides and make out with her while walking.

>>22704552

now is the time to teach Fritz the basics in Human read; Hobo Monstergirl relations. give him an altered version of the birds and the bees talk, but instead of birds and bees, it's Fritz and Minerva...
Lincoln may even give a few demonstrations with Illiana...

>>22704760

"what are you doing here human?"

"we-*smooch okay babe *smooch *smooch* i-*smooch need to *smooch ta-*"ha"~lick* to tha-*smooch necro- *smooch er no-*smooch plea-*smooch -op *"mm"smooch* fo-*smooch* a *smooch* -ment"

---20 MINUTES LATER---

You hum a rather catchy song to yourself in light of your surroundings. You can't quite remember the words to it at the moment (mostly because you've managed to drink five bottles since you started out), but you're sure they'd be appropriate.

"So.....Lincoln." Fritz starts off in a friendly voice. "What's your story? I mean, we don't really know much about you. Besides the fact that you can outdrink an entire army and that you skirt-chase like all get out."

"I AM A CONNISOUR OF WOMEN, thank you very much." You retort, folding your arms defiantly.

"Whatever you say." Fritz chuckles before continuing. "But that's still not answering the question. How'd you end up here? I mean, being you and all."

"I've got a better idea for discussion: HOW ABOUT THAT BUBBLE SLIME, EH!?" You bluntly side-step the question, preferring to spend your time giving the Spec Ops soldier shit about his slimy soon-to-be lover.

"What ABOUT Minerva?" Fritz immediately puts his guard up, expecting shenanigans. He is entirely correct.

"I was just wondering if you knew HOW to fuck her." You reply in an innocent tone that is rendered useless by the massive smirk on your face. Fritz, to his credit, manages only to splutter for a second or two before finding his tongue.

"OF COURSE I DO! What do you....." He trails off, actually thinking about the question for a moment with a troubled expression. "Actually....." He gives you a hapless look. And your grin only grows more predatory by the second.

"OHOHO! Oh, don't you worry about a thing, Fritz. Slimegirls are easy to fuck. You know why? BECAUSE YOU LITERALLY CANNOT MISS." You thrust your hips a few times at different angles to illustrate your point. Illiana does her best to pretend she isn't listening. Her twitching ears are entirely unconvincing.

"So you....." Fritz ventures cautiously, almost afraid to say it.

"EVERYTHING IS A VAGINA. I mean, it's slime. They fuck you with their whole body. It's pretty hot." You start drooling at the thought of a slimegirl of your very own.

"I'll say." Fritz mutters to himself, apparently lost in his own lecherous thoughts.

"You two are incorrigible." Illiana groans, apparently unable to hold her tongue any longer. You just shoot her a wink and a roguish grin, which earns you the sight of a slight blush on the inari's face.

"W-What's THAT supposed to mean?" The bandit-leader-turned-impromptu-diplomat stammers, glaring at you with a look of distrust.

"Just that you don't need to be jealous. You can get some Hobo Loving at any time, you know." You snicker as her face goes full red.

"I-I-I would never just---!" The flustered foxgirl's tails strike a nervous flutter as she shifts a few feet away out of pure embarrassment.

You laugh at her protests, knowing it's only a matter of time. After what you did to her just touching her ears and tail? There's no way she won't eventually give in to curiosity. And then.....

Unfortunately, in your creepy, drool-y laughter, you fail to notice the upcoming tombstone, which you dutifully trip over like a good alcoholic hobo should: in the name of comedy.


"BWAAGHPPFFH!" Your shout is muffled as you get a face full of rock and dirt.

......Well, not COMPLETELY muffled.

Within seconds, the ground around your group shifts and cracks as limbs lurch out of their underground resting places. Corpses, slavering at their mouths and eyes aflame with murder, haul themselves out from their resting places, staggering to their feet to surround you. FUCK, there must be at least a dozen of them. And WORSE: THEY'RE ALL MALE AND NON-SEXY. WHHHHYYYYYYYYYYY.

Fritz brings his rifle up immediately, and Illiana whips her tails up to immediately begin spawning fireballs.

What do YOU do? Besides lie on the ground and look silly with your arse up in the air, that is.

>What do?

[ ] [fight]

[ ] [run]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

>WHAT'S THIS?
>AN ACTUAL COMBAT ENCOUNTER?
>HORY SHEET

>>22705675
RUNNNN

File: 1358738134285.jpg-(46 KB, 500x500, tumblr_m6c1noAicW1rvvidco1_500.jpg)

46 KB JPG

Rolled 1

>>22705666
WHY did I hear that 'OHOHO' like the American 'Fake French' "Ouh Huh ho ho" laugh?

Damn it.

Anyway.

>>22705675
[X] [other] Sing Thriller.

We are the Musical Hobo. It worked for relationships, now we try for Magical Lyrical Diplomacy!

I'm tired. Shut up.

Rolled 19

>>22705675
>[ ] [fight]
>[ ] [imbibe liquor]

Rolled 6

>>22705891
Upside, Bubble Slime Art.

Downside - More Thriller Vore.

God damn it.

Rolled 19

>>22705891
>[X] [other] Sing Thriller.
I was thinking that, but I figured we should save it for when there is an undead monstergirl to win over.

Rolled 4

>[ ] [imbibe liquor]
>[X] [other] Sing Thriller.
Dice don't fail me now

pull back our hat to show we are going gangsta mode.
look up unto the sky and point at it with our right hand and our left to our hips.

"SLIME GIRLS! I CHOOSE YOU!"

pinch our nose with our right hand and let them out.
then proceed the awesome act of slime to fist transformation.

then try to imitate drunken kungfu moves on the undead on that movie that made jackie chan known.

try to imbibe as much liquor as plausible while doing all of this.

Rolled 17

[X] Round 1: FIGHT!

Rolled 8

>>22705675
fight just long enough to get an opening then run like daft hobo you are!

Rolled 1

>>22705896
>>22705908
Shit, I got double 19s

>>22706626
uehuehauehauheaueahu....

>>22706853
Before you can even react, Fritz begins to mow down the zombies with his FAL.

"Call yourself a bloody zombie?",

he taunts.

"Yer all lace and no knickas!"

Despite his efficiency in slaying these undead, more keep showing up. Illiana points to a mausoleum, and begins to run towards it, gesturing for you two to follow.

You run immeadiately, only stopping to uncap a bottle, and Fritz follows after emptying his gun into the horde.

You all manage to escape into the mausoleum and close the door, but the zombies are hitting it hard. It's not gonna last long.

Fritz, however, seems to know what to do. He pulls out an odd yellow power tool and begins to put it to work on the door.

"Fritz? What are you doing?"

Illiana asks.

"I am welding this DOAH!"

Fritz responds as he finishes the job.

"This door ain't gonna hold these bloody mutants very long, so we better find another way out."

He continues.

You all take a look around the mausoleum. There aren't any visible entrances, except for a set of doors leading to a descending staircase.

With no other visible options, you all head down.

The room quickly darkens as you descend, but Illiana lights a small fireball to light your path.

Soon, your path narrows into a single door. After examining it for several moments, Fritz concludes there are no traps, and tells you to open it.

You swing the door open, revealing...

>>22706984
Treasure!

Gold! Silver! Gems! Chests! Golden swords and crowns! Wealth beyond anything you've ever seen before!

The room seems to stretch on as far as the eye can see.

Your team quickly enters the room and closes the door behind you. Illiana knocks over a conveniently placed wardrobe to barricade the door.

She, too, is awed by the magnificent wealth before you.

Fritz, however, remains stoically silent. You think. It's hard to tell with that gas mask on.

Cautiously, you walk towards a chest. You've seen enough dungeons to be suspicious of convenient treasure. You ask Illiana if this is an illusion of some kind, but she shakes her head.

"No, no magic here. I'd feel it if there were."

Somewhat satisfied, you slowly walk over to a chest, place your hands on the lid, and open it, revealing...

A gaping, toothy, mouth.

And your hands are stuck to the chest.

Shit, how didn't you see this coming?

You begin to cry for help, but Illiana is also trapped. Fritz just stands there, without answering you.

As the chest begins to draw out it's tongues to drag you into it, you think you hear a wheezing sound coming from Fritz.

"elle... oh... dee... ess... of... ee... em... oh... en... ee..."

"FRITZ!",

Illiana cries,

"Don't just stand there, do something!"

But the Brit just stands there, continuing his mumbling, which grows louder.

"Wotz dat spell?",

he whispers.

"LOADSA MONEY!"

He screams at the top of his lungs, making even the mimic chests pause momentarily.

As the chests draw you down, down, down, towards there warm embrace which already begins to numb your mind and everything else, except your member, you see Fritz diving around the piles of coin, singing.

"Money money money..."

"DOSH! GRAB IT WHILE YA CAN, LADS!"

"LOOOOOADSA MONEY!"

Soon, both your and the foxgirl's cries die down, as you both come for a last time before being shredded to ribbons by the mimic's teeth.

Oh god.

>>22707173
>15 minutes later

Fritz, now partially snapped out of his greed-induced stupor, takes a look at himself.

He notices he is wearing a golden adidas tracksuit over his armor, three golden watches on each wrist, and is smoking.

Odd, he thinks, I don't smoke.

But Fritz feels... different.

Younger, less mature, less intelligent, less...

"Oh my, looks like we have quite a looter here."

A feminine voice echoes from somewhere in the room, interrupting the Englishman's brooding.

Before he can even think about it, Fritz finds the words already coming out of his mouth.

"Say that to my face, wanker, not online, an' see wot 'appens!"

The voice giggles for a moment before responding.

"Heeeheheehe... we have quite a rebel over here. All right then, I'll show up in your face."

Suddenly, a pale, armored woman appears before Fritz, seemingly out of nowhere.

She seems to size him up for a moment, looking the soldier up and down, before continuing.

"You're not even afraid? My, my, you must be very brave, or very stupid."

The monster's giggling is interrupted by Fritz.

"Oi, shut yer trap an' bum me a fag."

The girl stops, shocked, before resuming her devilish grin.

"Oh, sure... I'll fag your bum..."

She says, leaning in and licking the man's face with quick flick of her long, forked tongue, then revealing a long, throbbing erection. Fritz is not impressed.

"Oi, yer one cheeky kunt. I'll wrek u! I swear on me mum's grave!"

The monstergirl's grin fades suddenly.

"Oh, you're no fun."

In a motion too fast for the eye to follow, she suddenly shoves a sword into the Brit's stomach.

As Fritz bleeds to death on the floor, his last thoughts are of sitting around London with his lads.

>>22707434
>Fritz becomes a chav.

Most terrifying HUE ever.

>>22707434
>>22707173
>>22706984
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ON-7v4qnHP8
I love you hue man.

Rolled 11

We need to meet a well cultured zombiegirl!
Please hoboking pleeaaassseeee!

File: 1358757028295.png-(76 KB, 271x236, 1358359128809.png)

76 KB PNG

>>22710329
>zombiegirl!
>liking rotting vaginas

Rolled 20

>>22710329
I honestly can't see why you all want zombie girls, because I mean what are you getting? >>22710497 is what your getting and Lincoln has better taste and standard than that

Rolled 10

>>22710628
I return and this happens?

Also I like [X] Thriller, but [X] impromptu minibooze alcohol flamethrower calls to me.

>>22710700
>Thriller
Can't argue with that.

Rolled 13

>>22705896

and of course

[ ] Thriller singing

>>22710497
No, no, anon. You need to keep your zombie waifu on ice! Proper maintenance/hygiene for your zombiegirl is essential to avoid crotchrot.

Rolled 6

>>22710497
>>22710628
that is assuming that zombiegirls are in fact rotting and aren't preserved by some kind of necrotic magic or self repair routine.

anyway without the limiters in the brain saying no you can't do that it'll damage your body complete muscle control becomes a possibility this leads to some interesting possibilities thanks to vaginal muscle control.

>haven't seen hobo quest for a while
>eh, OP prolly died of alcohol poisoning
>see this
IT'S BACK
I HAPPY

Rolled 20

>>22711541

>>22710628 here and as long as they aren't rotted flesh monstrosities of half decayed corpses and more along the lines of pale skinned beauties with all their skin preserved by 'undead majiks', I have no problems, vampires are technically the walking dead but they can be hot. Lets not get gross guys, save that for HUEMARINE and the vore

Rolled 3

>>22711661
wow, 2 20's in a row by me now, thats kinda awesome, no idea what it will mean for Lincoln tho

Rolled 19

>>22711661
Not bad.

Not all undead are rotting corpses. For instance, Jiangshi and Vetala are specifically known not to undergo decomposition. Obviously, a ghost is also exempt.

Rolled 18

>>22711661

>>22711541 here. I have one question.

ARE YOU A WIZARD?

Rolled 5

What if Lincoln submerges any new undead haremites entirely in 192-proof alcohol, letting it permeate through their bodies, thus killing all bacteria that would cause rotting?

>>22711734
some days I think so, most days I think I'm a 3d game artist

Rolled 11

>>22711859
woops, forgot roll

Rolled 16

>>22711827
depending on how we roll, it either works flawlessly or we end up with a pile of sentient rotten flesh/goop, not entirely sure we want that up our nose

And once again, I return from slumber. Or a coma. I can't really tell them apart at this point.

>>22711583
It's always nice to see people discover/re-discover this quest.

>>22712690
>>22711827
>>22711661
>>22711541
>>22711405
>>22710628

Remember how I said every girl has some sort of obstacle to successfully banging them? Sometimes the barriers are emotional, sometimes its figuring out how to deal with the mechanics of the act.

Give me a second to tally what the votes are.

>>22706853
>>22706984
>>22707173
>>22707434
>>22708705

It is for things like this that I am so glad I allow other people to contribute to the quest.

HUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE

Current Vote Count:

Looks like fight wins out, with thriller being a close second.

Rolled 6

>>22713335
We need to gain telepathic powers so we can have mindsex with everyone. Either that, or spiritual projection so we can bump souls.

Rolled 7

>>22713474
geez anon, wheres your ambition? (don't answer, Lincoln stole it) why not do both?

File: 1358778115454.jpg-(Spoiler Image, 101 KB, 691x800)

101 KB JPG

>>22713474
>>22713529
But would that work on constructs?

Rolled 7

>>22713593
we are LINCOLN BISMUTH, BOOZE WIZARD EXTRAORDINAIRE, of course it would, you're not doubting LINCOLN BIsMUTH BOOZE WIZARD EXTRAORDINAIRE are you?

>>22713593
Dunno. Do constructs have souls?

Rolled 7

>>22713593
If it's sentient, we can mindfuck it. If it doesn't have a soul, WE WILL FIND A WAY TO GIVE IT ONE.

>>22713641
Yes.

Quick, someone remind me of what rifles the Spec Ops have?

Rolled 18

>>22716067
hu... famas? for the french ones at least

>>22716067
found this take it as you will, I for one have no idea if it's dildo or not

>>22716176
http://www.americanspecialops.com/special-ops-weapons/ I am idiot

Johnson goes through your cart, picking up weapons one by one with increasing incredulity.

"Fucking hell! An M14 EBR, a Kriss Super V XSMG, a CheyTac Intervention M-200........OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE, HOW DID YOU GET AN RPG-7!?!?" Johnson screams out, holding up the RPG poster child.

"Found it."

"F-----FOUND IT!??! What, was it just lying on the goddamn ground!?"

"Uhhhhh, actually, Captain....." Bruce picks this time to speak up. "There WAS a whole bunch of weapons that got "donated" by eager-to-help residents after they heard us shooting at the slimes....."

Johnson stares at Bruce for a moment before slapping his palm to his forehead. "Oh, goddamnit. It would figure that Lincoln would walk right into the damn thing."

With a sigh, he goes back to investigating the rag-tag collection of firearms. "Alright, what the hell else do we have here......M1 Thompson, with the drum even!.........An AUG-A3 CQC, interesting........an AF2011-A1? What's the point of this? I don't get it.......what the hell, a Neostead!? You can't even import these yet!.........OH COME ON, this is an MTs-255, what the HELL are the customs officers doing!..........1216 shotgun........And OBREZ!? How the hell do you even fire this thing.......A LeMat Revolver!? Must be from that antique dealer......." The Spec Ops CO stops dead for a few moments and then begins violently shaking his head.

"No. NO. Just----No. There is no goddamned way I'm looking at these two things. It makes no sense. Fuck off, bullshit. Someone can wake me up now."

"What are they, Cap?" Fritz asks, genuinely curious now.

"It----It's........It's an Enfield EM-2." Johnson dejectedly groans, despairing as he gives up on it not being real.

"What the----!?" Fritz's face twists in confusion.

"And a Korobov TKB-022." Johnson miserably finishes, as reality cock-slaps him in the face again. "I can hardly believe these things EXIST, let alone being here."

>>22716448
Ha, oh right.

I was more looking for what the standard rifles the Spec Ops had. I just realized I very may well have forgotten to specify. Sure didn't forget what I gave Lincoln though. And by that I mean "ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING."

Thanks Char.

And for the next four threads up, I couldn't find any explicitly stated load out list for your Spec Ops team, so something from in there is probably what they have besides normal equipment. oh. And Dave.

The Hobo King
And to all relevant parties who were discussing firearms: remember, Not-Bruce, Model: Dave is equipped with an unspecified flamethrower model because of the initial run-in with feral slimes. They are equipped for standard and irregular warefare. I will also point out that the troops have access to humvees. Adjust loadouts accordingly, if that's the way you want to go.

>>22716477

if my knowledge of standard irregular warfare equipment is anything to go by, for a 5 man squad each would have two main weapons and pistol/sub machine gun. for main weapons there would be 1 LMG, 1 Shotgun, 1 Flamethrower (in this situation) 2 assault rifles. there would probably be 3 Pistols and 2 SMGs between them. each would have a set of grenades, probably 2 frag, 2 flash and 2 white phosphorous (based on the false importance on incendiary weapons due to feral slimes)

"LEFT 4 DEAD, MOTHERFUCKERS!" You scream at the top of your lungs, flipping off the ground to land upright in another stunning example of Hobo Acrobatics. Grabbing the M14 EBR hanging from your shoulder, you immediately begin firing at the approaching zombies.

Gore and rotten fluids explode all over the surrounding area as you haphazardly fill the rotting abominations full of 7.62 x 51mm NATO rounds. As you are in no way a marksman (except with your DICK), most of the bullets simply tear through their bodies uselessly. Some of the rounds find purchase though, and you watch as a few limbs drop off the shambling bodies. You even manage to score two headshots, instantly dropping the would-be attackers.

Fritz brings his M4A1 SOPMOD to bear, and considering his training, it's not exactly surprising how much more effective he is. In less than a minute, he manages to drop seven zombies with well-placed headshots. On the eighth, though, the zombie refuses to crumple. The exposed flesh of its cranium hisses, black vapor drifting out of it as the wound begins to regenerate. Fritz's eyes widen in shock as the shambling monster continues to advance, despite subsequent shots to other potential vulnerabilities. The black smoky substance drifts out of any injury.

"GHOUL!" Illiana yells, turning from the two other zombies she's lit ablaze and lunging for Fritz. She hauls him out of reach of the stubborn enemy, and proceeds to grab a fireball out of the air. Suspending it above her open palm, she rams the enchanted flame directly into the ghoul's face.

The ghoul lets out a horrific scream as its flesh instantly ignites, the black vapor leaking out in massive quantities. The regeneration doesn't seem to be happening this time around though, as the extra-tough zombie sinks to its knees, flame billowing out of every orifice, looking like some sort of hellish mask.

"Holy fuck, THAT WAS AWESO---WOOAAH!" You don't get to finish your observation as Illiana seizes your arm and drags you and Fritz away from the scene as fast as possible.

"What the FUCK are we running from!?" Fritz yells, not enjoying being left in the dark.

"GHOUL! Nothing less than enchanted flame can kill them, and even then, they're like a damnable beacon to the rest of the undead! That scream will alert every shambling monstrosity in the area! We need to hide, NOW!" Illiana yells over her shoulder urgently.

"Bah, we have guns. How many could there----" You glance behind you casually, only to gulp as you notice a couple dozen of the graves breaking open. "HAHAHA WOW THAT'S A LOT OF ZOMBIES RUNNING NOW."

But where? You're in a goddamned massive cemetery! There's only that nearby thing that looks like a mausoleum. You could also try to double back around to get back to the vehicles, but is it possible to outrun dozens of those things? There's also always trying to murder them until there's none less. But you've never been good at counting ammo, and you only brought the M14 EBR with you. Goddamnit, of all the times to forget to walk around with more than you actually need---!

>What do?

[ ] [epic gunfight to Thriller]

[ ] [make for the mausoleum]

[ ] [try to double back to the vehicles]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

Rolled 16

>>22717636

>[x] [try to double back to the vehicles]
Also
>[x] [imbibe liquor]

If possible
>[x] [other]
>Make makeshift molotovs
>You'll probably end up burning yourself
>BUT IT'S NOT A ZOMBIE PARTY WITHOUT MOLOTOVS

Rolled 5

>>22717636

TO THE MAUSOLEUM!!! then we need to find some sewers, a hospital and a creepy abandoned mansion...

rolling for cliche zombie movie stereotype situations

Rolled 10

>>22717636

>[x] [try to double back to the vehicles]
>[x] [imbibe liquor]

Enchanted fire you say? We really need that 192-proof booze and RPG/flamethrower.

Also red oni. Fuck. Can she do fire breaths with the 192? That should enchant undead right away.

Rolled 1

>>22717777
i vote for the cliche zombie movie stereotypes if worst comes to worst you can climb the mausoleum and wait for moira to see you and...uh.well i guess they might know how to drive a tank.. i mean if lincolin can do it..

>>22718064

MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!
my cunning plan for cliche zombie movie vore is falling into place!

now if only i knew how to write vore scenes... or cliche zombie movies....

Rolled 3

>>22718144
normally you just need to do what common sense tells you NOT to do. like
1.split up
2.bring limited light
3.follow something you cant identify down the dark corridor
4.put your back to any dark shadows/open doors

Rolled 6

[X] Minibooze 192-proof flamethrower.

>>22718408
I like your style son.

>>22718408
Oh god. Can't get any better than that. Well. Thriller?

Rolled 5

The only question is where to fire flames from. Do we have an awesome flaming fist or do we breath fire like a dragon?

>>22718616
flaming fist, for sure.

>>22718616

Wasn't one of the mini-slimes fiery one? If not then this is perfect time to make a third one. With the help of 'Aberlour 12'.

Rolled 16

Falcon punch?
FALCON PUNCH.

Rolled 11

Do we have a lawnmower in the trolleys?
if so, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RC1d7dw24Gg
if not, just get in the tank and start running them over

"INTO THE NOT SCARY TOMB PLACE!!!!!"
"It's called a Mausoleum Lincoln, and it's probably NOT the best place to g..."
"RUNNING NOW, TALKING LATER!"

after practically dragging Illiana and Fritz into the mausoleum, you realise it's not as big as you thought it would be. But hey, there's a little door to the side!

"What now, Genius? We're trapped in here now. you can hear all the undead banging on the doors. I doubt we can hold them all off.."

You would reply, but this new door needs the full skills of a MASTER LOCKPICK! such as yourself.

"HEY WHATS THAT OVER THERE!!!"

Fritz and Illiana look away long enough for you to preform your secret technique.

"I know you just broke the door, not actually loc...."

"LALALA CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF HOW SKILLFULLY I JUST PICKED THAT LOCK!!!"

Fritz just sighs and moves to look down the passage

"Looks like it leads to some kind of S..."

"LESS LOOKING MORE MOVING!!!"

Pulling Fritz and Illiana onto the remains of the door, you push it down the stairs as though it were a sledge, thinking that nothing could possiably go wrong with this plan!

>>22719297
A thought which lasted the best part of Two Whole Seconds, before the door hit a step and threw you down the rest of the staircase.

"That's what you get for thinking doors could slide down stairs you crazy hobo Lincoln"

Fritz offers you a hand to help you up.

"we better keep moving, they can't be that far behind us..."

"TO ADVENTURE!!!!!" You declare, and then step into a sewer cannal with a loud splash. "BLUGBLERBLE!!! DAMNITTOHELL!!!! WHY IS THERE A SEWER HERE!!!!!"

Looking to Illiana for answers, she seems just as confused as you. Almost like the sewer shouldn't even BE here.

"regardless, ONWARDS!!!!!" as if to exentuate your statement, an undead corpse falls down the stairs landing on the door.

SEVERAL MINUTES LATER

"Its Quiet, TOO Quiet..."

"You've been saying that since you ran from that dead undead"

"TACTICOOL RETREAT!!! I NEVER RUN, just find a need to be somewhere... else..." Damn it, she's on to you. think Lincoln, think. how do you distract her from this train of "OHMYGODBEHINDYOUFRITZ!WHATTHEHELLISTHATTHING!!!!!!"

"Not this time Lincoln, i know damn well that there is nothing behind..." Fritz's reply is cut short by a large sword cutting HIM short, or in half to be honest.

"TACTICOOL RETREAT!!! THEY GOT FRITZ RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!!"

Carrying Illiana, you find an exit to the sewers. deciding that you're better up there than down here, you make your way up.

>>22719312
"Lincoln, When did we return to your world?"

"what do you mean..." The sight of a large hospital stops your train of thought. "I didn't know you had hospitals here"

"We Don't"

Well damn. though not to look a gift First Aid Pack in the mouth "TIME FOR LOOTING!!!"

"NOW IS NOT THE TIMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!" Before finishing her sentance, some large, rotting zombie thing grabbed Illiana and charged into the Hospital with her"

with a serious face, there is only one reply you can make "Now it's Personal"

entering the hospital, you decide that there is only one place a zombie would take your foxgirl. The Mor... NOPE!!! that is what it WANTS you to think, no it has taken her to THE OPERATING THEATER!!!!

after three minutes of jump scares and suspicious silence, you arrive at the doors to the Operating Theater. The Large, Blood Soaked Doors... yeah. Definately where they took Illiana.

"I'M HERE FOR YA FOXY LADYYYYYYY" you scream kicking in the swinging doors, causing you to fall flat on you face.

"Just in time Mr Lincoln. We were about to start the procedure without you" A tall, spindelly doctor type says, you can't make out his face through the mask, but something tells you that he is not your ordinary servant of THE MAN!!!

>>22719329
Before you can HOBO you way out of this sitation, you feel the Cold Hard Prick of a hypodermic needle enter your arm, filling your bloodstream with annestetics. "We can't have you resisting now, just enjoy the procedure. After this, You'll never be closer to your young friend. but for now, just sleep, sleep" and with that, you fall into a deep sleep. filled with dreams of life in your SUPER-ZEPPLIN filled with all sorts of delecious monster-girls who all love you with the entirety of their beings.

"time to wake up and smell the coffee, Mr Lincoln" the voice rouses you from your amazing dream, though you do notice a distinct lack of coffee. "The operation was a complete success. It may take some time to get used to, but now you'll know EVERYTHING about young Illianas body. Enjoy it, Ms Lincoln. MWAHAHAHAHA!!!" it says leaving the room.

Then you realise something. everything feels diffrent. You feel something that you've never felt before. Lots of somethings you never felt before. That is when it hits you.

"HE TURNED ME INTO ILLIANA!!!" you scream, slightly preturbed at the fact you now also have her voice

"Ungh, Keep it down over there" your old voice moans at you

Another realisation hits you. If you're Illiana, then Illiana is....

"AAAAGGGHHHHH!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!!!!"

>>22719343
"DAMNIT WOMAN, PUT THAT AWAY!!!" you shout at Illiana to return your secret notebook to it's rightful pocket

"Why am I you and why are you me!?" You or rather Illiana shouts. Realising how much more sensitive her hearing is to yours, you cover (your, no her?) ears and scream at her to be quiet

"This is going to take ALOT of work getting used to.... Why are you grinning like that Illiana?" you ask as she approaches you with what once was YOUR lecherous grin on YOUR face... Oh, THIS is not going to end well... well it IS going to end well, but not in that sense...

thank you for HUEing with Decimus Solutions. We hope that you will HUE with us again.

Rolled 16

No! Illiana has turned the power of hobo against us. No mere mortal can control it.

Rolled 20

>>22719358
its a 1 well spent.

Rolled 10

>>22719632
Illiana quest?

Rolled 16

>>22719762

I've been on the internet too much because the only thing I can hear now is Illiana singing about being fresh and her (newly attached) nuts.

I really need sleep.

Rolled 11

>Here goes nothing .
You are Illania, Foxgirl bandit and THE MAN has just swapped you and that pervert Lincoln's bodies. This cannot stand. But while you're in here you may as well have some revenge right?
[X] Be creepy
[] molest
[] other
[] imbibe liquor

>>22720236

he seemed rather concerned about the notebook. READ IT!!!!

Rolled 19

You open the notebook and read the first page. It is titled The hobo's guide to monstergirls.
Continue reading?

>>22720444

yes. we shall use it's contained knowledge AGAINST THE HOBO!!!

Rolled 18

The next few pages (read 140) contain in depth information on the feel of Zuli's breasts and how GREAT batgirl pussy is. After this you find Chapter 2: Foxgirls.
Lincoln is now looking worried, but slightly relieved for some reason.
[] continue reading
[] harass Lincoln
[] search pokcs
[] other

>>22720659

when in HOBO do as HOBO does.
read; ALL OF THE ABOVE!!!

Rolled 16

You continue reading, but out loud this time.
You read:
Step 1 get foxgirl drunk
Step 2 touch fluffy tails
Step 3 avoid incineration as foxgirls launch flame everywhere when orgasming
> how much flame would a 9 tail produce?
> more sidetracking about your mother.
Step 5 ???
Profit.
While reading this you fish around in one of your pockets and pull out a fancy gold ring and another notebook. You then throw away the ring as it isn't alcoholic (you think )
You then Muse about how you should be at the front of the book and how Lincoln needs to get his priorities straigh. You stop when you realize you said this out loud

Rolled 1

> forgot to add
> wat do?

Rolled 6

>>22721059

Well it's up to you I guess...?

Rolled 15

You decide to open the new notebook. The title reads The Book of HUE's and undo's.
The first page simply states https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yNxt D2LOcLrQpM-c . This statement drives you insane knowledge floods into your head about getting eaten, the pleasure is too much so you fire Lincoln's cannon while writhing around on the floor, imagining the soul-scarring contents of the book.

Meanwhile Lincoln's hand slowly slips down his (your ) pants.

Also meanwhile Faye lines up the camera with the sniper scope and hits record.

Rolled 1

The end.

Rolled 10

>>22721475

Well it seems...

...You're on a ROLL today!

...I'll just go.

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>>22721529

Rolled 8

> apparently the dice gods want more.

As Illiana writhes around on the ground the book of HUE falls open and displays it's terrible message to THE MAN, who then picks up the book and smiles. He then makes a phone call.


On the other side of the rift, thousands of copies of the book of hue are printed off, every channel displays the message and it can be heard everywhere as helicopters fly out and broadcast it. The world falls to it's knees as entire countries fall to THE MAN. His life's work is now complete as nobody can stop him.

>>22721949

And so THE MAN won. Will we stand for this?!

>>22724233
I'd rather just get back to the main quest, but any HUE is welcome.

Rolled 11

And so out of the free provinces of the middle east came a new type of man. One who did not fear death. These men resolved to die before giving in. An thus the resistance known as the Taliban began.

>this better?

>>22724711
u wot m8

Rolled 17

>>22724711
Links on to
>>22721949
As for why, I got bored waiting for hoboking to post.

Apologies. I fell asleep again. I feel quite well-rested though.

Heheheh. IllianaQuest.

>>22727386

might i have your opinion on my HUE story?

you sleeping is to be expected. especially during epic rolls

>>22727437
HUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE

>>22727437
But yeah, it's always nice to see someone new try their hand at HUE.

Your grammar and formatting could use a bit more time investment, but it doesn't make it unreadable by any means. Rather good, for a first try.

>>22727478

always was better at maths... A*s in maths & science, Cs & Ds in English Lang & Lit.

did i correctly capture the essence of the characters and the environment though? THAT is the key component to a good story. grammar and formatting can be proof read correct, but the underlying story is what holds a work of literature together.

if you think that grammar was bad, i once submitted an essay which consisted of one 5000 word paragraph. My tutor was not amused... especially since half-way though i went off on a tangent and completely changed the subject in the conclusion...

>>22727588
In HUE, the only essence of the characters that it's necessary to preserve is hurrhurrhurrrrrrr.

You did fine. It was amusing.

Right, it looks like [X] Fight won thanks to a certain minibooze idea. No retreat, eh?

>>22728612

NONE CAN STAND BEFORE THE WRATH OF HOBO&SLIMES!!!

Rolled 14

>>22728612
Onwards to glory and/with alcohol

Hold up a second, what the hell are you doing? A HOBO DOES NOT RUN, HE CRUSHES HIS ENEMIES BENEATH A TSUNAMI OF LIQUOR AND VIGOR.

You rip your arm from Illiana's grasp, skidding to halt and performing an abrupt 180. Grinning insanely, You level the M14 EBR at the zombie horde following you with one hand.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?" Illiana shrieks, a clear note of terror present in her voice. Fritz swears loudly, reloading his M4A1 SOPMOD as he prepares to back you up for better or worse.

"SUBJUGATING MY FUTURE SUBJECTS!" You scream back, dashing at the dozens of zombies following you, taking potshots at them the whole way. With your free hand, you close one nostril, blowing out the other one. Minibooze gets the hint, flowing out of your sinus to coalesce on your hand, where she gives you the usual blank stare your little "daughters" always wear. Minislime follows suit, though she forgoes staring at you in favor of wrapping herself around your firearm and hand, securing the constantly shaking gun and mildly improving your accuracy. The exploded head of another zombie is a testament to this, and you feel a surge of pride at how quickly she learns.

Deciding to give your new daughter the same learning environment, you turn your attention to her, and motion your head towards your fist. She gives a little salute, before flowing down your arm to repeat the feat she pulled in the fox village.

Your fist crackling with flame, you use a nearby tombstone as a spring board, launching yourself above the zombie horde while you continue to rain bullets down on them. Your rifle begins clicking with each trigger pull, finally running out of rounds, but it doesn't matter at the moment. You have a much better attack; one that ALL fear to be hit by.

"FAAAAAAWLCOOOOOON PAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUNCH!" You scream as you descend upon the zombies, a screaming, alcohol-fuelled avatar of Hobo Madness.

[Roll 1d20 for FAWLCON PAUNCH]

Rolled 9

>>22729992
Rollan!

Rolled 2

>>22729992

IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE!!!

Rolled 10

>>22729992
>inb4 falcon punch vore

Rolled 20

>>22729992
>inb4 they were plague zombies
>by punching them, Lincoln has become infected

Rolled 15

>>22730083

ALL HAIL THE 20!!!!!

THE ZOMBIES KNOW NOT WHAT POWERS THEY INVOKE!!!!

Rolled 15

>>22730083
Stop rolling!

>>22730083
Tch.......

>>22730101

you know you could always invoke one of the earlier, unaccounted for ones if you wanted to do a vore/bad end...

>>22730118
Nah, I can write vore all I please. It's just that whenever you guys do something dumb, you always manage to make it work.

This is funny, but my DM desire to torture is left unsatisfied.

Oh well. Not like there aren't going to be many more opportunities for you to screw up.

I mean, it IS the Corpselands.....heheheheh.....

>>22730151

i see that you are enjoying your present...

Rolled 8

>>22730101
Disappointing, yes?

Nat 20 falcon punch.
Dis gonna be bud.

>>22730101
after the punch we need the signature "show your moves" followed by dancing thriller.

You let out a guttural roar as your fist plows downward into the closest zombie, simultaneously setting it ablaze and crushing it to a pulpy mess. Flaming gore splatters everywhere, setting its nearby compatriots ablaze as they instinctively writhe at the consuming fire's touch. But the fire is nothing compared to what happens when your fist hits the ground.

A massive blast wave erupts from your fist as it impacts the ground, sending the surrounding horde hurtling away from you to crash upon the broken ground and graves like ninepins. Limbs and bloody ichor splatter the surrounding area like some sort of disgusting acid rain, flames sizzling as they burn what flammable material they can reach. Illiana stares at the destruction in utter shock. Fritz just chuckles lightly, somewhat impressed. Raising your hand from the crater you just made, you scream your triumph towards the sky.

"ALL SHALL BOW BEFORE LINCOLN BISMUTH, MASTER OF ALCOHOL!" You laugh madly, Your slimy daughters retreating to reform on your shoulders, copying your poses as they so often like to do. "NONE CAN STAND IN THE FACE OF MY FACE-ANNIHILIATING INSANITY!"

Unfortunately, several rage-filled screams seem to prove that last statement rather wrong.

Several ghouls, mixed in with the rest of the zombies, stagger to their feet, their wounds pouring black vapor as they regenerate faster than you believe is fair. And to make matters worse, what seems like half the hillside rises with them. Skeletons and zombies and probably a few more ghouls all lurch from their underground resting places, clawing out of the ground in their desire to get at you and your companions. There must be over a hundred of them now.

"YOU IDIOT! I said we needed to HIDE, NOT ATTRACT MORE!" Illiana yells at you, half indignant and half-terrified. You scratch your head sheepishly as you stare at the bolstered number of undead.

"Who's up for a drinking contest....?" You offer lamely. You take the uninterrupted groaning as a "no".

"It's a thriillleeeeeerrrr.....thrillllerrr niiiiight....." You attempt to convince them to dance. On they come.

You sigh deeply, drawing a bottle of whiskey from your coat and taking a deep swig. You regard the oncoming zombie horde with an unreadable expression.

"......Crap."

>What do?

[ ] [flee back to the vehicles]

[ ] [make for the mausoleum]

[ ] [throw makeshift molotovs everywhere]

[ ] [make a glorious speech, mention something about the rising of the zombie proletariat]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

>>22731049

While heading for the mausoleum, make a glorious speech, mentioning something about the rising of the zombie proletariat. When the inevitable interruptions occur, throw makeshift molotovs everywhere while shouting "I'M TRYNG TO LIBERATE YOU BASTARDS HERE!" and "WILL YOU JUST STOP AND SHUT UP FOR A MOMENT! I'M TRYING TO MAKE A SPEECH!!!"

all while imbibing liquor, of course.

Rolled 12

>>22731143
Don't forget to get the others to bring the vehicles along.

Rolled 8

>>22731143
I like this plan.
We should save thriller for a girl like someone said.

Rolled 18

>>22731143
add my vote to this

>>22731143
>Makeshift Molotovs
>Makeshift Molotovs
>MAKESHIFT MOLOTOVS

Are you really trying to suggest that we light precious booze on fire and throw it at the zombies who having no metabolism will have no appreciation for the drink?

The mausoleum bit however I agree with.

>>22731396

it's ok. we have some crappy contingency booze that is more than good enough for the zombies to enjoy. those ghouls enjoy their flaming drinks after all...
that and they can reimburse us after we 'liberate' them.

Rolled 17

>>22731437
>crappy contingency booze
>throwing ANY booze away
I was already cringing when we smashed that bottle over the skeleton.

>>22731451
I agree fully, that's LINCOLNS BOOZE and should not be wasted by lighting it on fire and throwing it.

If it comes down to a choice between using it as a Molotov and dying I vote we choose death and try to drink as much of said booze as possible before the end.

New vote:

[ ] [molotovs yes]

[ ] [molotovs no]

Rolled 4

>>22731876
[X] [compromise and throw empty bottles]

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>>22731876

if we give minibooze more booze, can she be a flammenwerfer?

Rolled 1

Molotov's please.
It's not like hoboking will let us run out of booze and anyway there's plenty in the tank.

Rolled 2

>>22731963
>rolled a 1 on not running out of booze
Oh dear god.

>>22731963

now you've gone and done it. either we'll run out of booze, OR we, once again, get eaten by the booze.

Rolled 4

>>22731963
Shit.
I just had to say "it's not like we're going to run out of alcohol" didn't I.

Rolled 5

Quick! Someone write some vore before HK sees that post and gets ideas!

Rolled 12

>>22731941
oh hell yes, can we get not-bruce model Hans (cmon theres got to be a Hans in the not-bruce's) to teach her german to shout as she spews out 192-proof napalm?

Rolled 20

>>22731963 1
>>22731976 2
>>22731981 no dice
>>22732005 4
>>22732020 5
The fuck /tg/ dice?

Rolled 4

>>22732093
the fuck indeed...

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>>22732093
Reject common sense to make the impossible happen. THATS THE TEAM GURREN WAY

Rolled 12

>>22732093
I. Just. Whaaat?
Now I'm really confused.

/tg/ dice like to be especially weird here. The normal laws of the board are warped and twisted.

Which ensures I am entertained at all times.

>>22732133
My favorite thing about this quest is that the thread has 201 posts, and you've made five updates to the story. More time for BOOZE!

>>22732146
You guys talk a lot. And I'm a terrible OP, yet you guys hang around anyway. Besides, my posts are long as all hell.

>>22732151
Did I say I was complaining? No, I said there was more time for booze. Thats the opposite of a complaint.

>>22732160
Pre-emptive excuses in case any of you try to reform me.

>>22732172
Bah, the first rule of being a DM is that you are always right, no matter what you do. As long as you keep doing the quest I think most of us will be happy as clams in a white wine sauce.

>>22732190
And then he turns this into Sober Ex-hobo Quest: The Cubicling.

>>22732204
Oh god, don't even joke about shit like that. Seriously, joke about that shit again and I hunt you down like the dog you are.

>>22732204
>>22732219
It has been ten years since you abandoned everything, quite drinking, and got an office job. You are currently at work?

>What do?

[ ] [hate your life]

[ ] [hate your life]

[ ] [hate your life]

>>22732242
[ ] commit ritual suicide
Life has no meaning anymore.

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>>22732242
[x] [stalk through the cubicles with an armalite ar-10 gas powered semi automatic rifle pumping round after round into your former friends and co workers]

>>22732254
Your boss walks in, ready to give all the workers a lecture about coffee-making etiquette.....

Only for his jaw to fall open in shock and horror at the sight before him.

Half of the office is on fire. Body parts and entrails are scattered and smeared everywhere. Blood drips from every surface. Workers have been disemboweled, dismembered, and decapitated in some strange bizarre pattern on the floor You lie dead in the middle of it all, crucified to the floor by no less than three hundred and twenty blade of various shapes in sizes.

The words scrawled in blood on the wall are a final testament to your miserable end.

"GIVE ME BACK MY MONSTERGIRLS."

>>22732274
Nah, we shouldn't punish them for our shitty life choices.

>>22732242
>>22732279
The end. Shortest side-quest ever.

>>22732279
Welp. that works too I guess.

>>22732287
I can't imagine myself being sober for longer than while. What the fuck must have that been for Lincoln, I have no desire to know. And I wish I can bleach that image from my mind with whiskey. Though I fear I won't have enough of it.

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>>22732529
Found the solution to that problem.

File: 1358858460420.jpg-(593 KB, 1312x1792, Propanol_bottle.jpg)

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>>22732543
You know, propanol has roughly the same effects as ethanol. The difference is that it's around 3 times as potent.

>>22732543
>>22732626
I prefer drinking and living on next day so I can drink again. Nobody is going to take my booze away from me.

But I admit, that Spirytus, very tempting.

>>22732626
I'll stick with my two carbon chain molecules, thank you very much.

Well, let it never be said that you don't know when to run away. Your history is RIFE with all the times you had to run from people.

And now, faced with a real, undead zombie horde, most DEFINITELY counts as one of those times.

"DIGNIFIED RETREEEEAAT!!" You shout, scrambling for traction on the rocky as you about-face to run back towards your companions.

Fritz doesn't need to hear it a second time, immediately grabbing Illiana and hauling her in the other direction as you catch up to them. The three of you sprint across the open wasteland. You look back at the receding zombie horde and----SON OF A BITCH, GHOULS CAN RUN!? NOT FAIR! Maybe you can talk them into slowing down.

"I COME TO YOU WITH A MESSAGE OF ADMIRATION AND LIBERTY!" you dodge a rather sizeable rock. "YOU REPRESENT THE RISING OF THE PROLETARIAT; THE PROLETARIAT OF THE DEAD!" You duck as a particularly quick-footed ghoul hurls itself at you, the creature sailing over your head to crash to the ground in a snarling heap. You swig the rest of your bottle down. "BUT DO NOT SEE ME AS AN ENEMY! FOR TOGETHER, WE CAN----"

You are interrupted by the screeching lunge of YET ANOTHER fucking ghoul, which you swat out of its hobo-centric trajectory by smashing it in the face with your rifle butt. Its teeth rocket out of its mouth as it slams into the dirt.

"WILL YOU ROTTING ASSHOLES SHUT UP FOR A MOMENT!?!? I'M TRYING TO MAKE A SPEECH HERE!" You scream at the following horde.

"WHY ARE YOU ARGUING WITH ZOMBIES!?" Your companions simultaneously yell at you in reply.

You begin hurling several of your empty bottles over your shoulders at the horde in stubborn defiance, even as you continue to run for the nearby mausoleum. Its structure is large and imposing, made of aging marble or something. You don't really know rocks. It DOES look like something that ISN'T a giant pack of flesh-hungry zombies though, so MAUSOLEUM IT IS.

Pulling slightly ahead of Fritz and Illiana, you are the first to take in the appearance of the rusty door. Most likely locked. And yet, you are pretty sure that it has never encounter a MASTER LOCKPICK before. Probably because the zombies ate any that were stupid enough to come here, but hey, not YOUR fault they sucked too much to get here first.

The doors groan and squeal in protest as you crash into them with the full weight of your body, wrenching them open through sheer inertia. Fritz and Illiana dash in behind you, immediately hurling themselves against the opposite side of the doors, forcing them closed again even as they grind against the stone floor. The muffled screaming of a ghoul can be heard from outside, the doors shuddering as the rotting abomination smashing into the metal barriers with a thud.

"Right. We've got a limited amount of ammo, and doors that will probably only hold until the horde catches up to force it open with sheer numbers. Any more brilliant ideas, Lincoln?" Fritz looks at you with a grim expression, clearly demanding that you take responsibility of getting you all out of the situation you caused. Again.

>What do?

[ ] [look around for stuff to barricade the door with]

[ ] [look for any secret passages or escape routes]

[ ] [have Illiana try to weld the door shut]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

>>22732893
Weld and barricaded. We need a precision flame as hot as she can get it. and then we look for ways out. And loot. And if we find spell books, we give them to faye, so we can have the littlest necromancer.

Rolled 6

>>22732893
>[X] [have Illiana set minibooze on fire so minibooze can be awesome and Illiana can pout]

>>22732905
Wait, no shit, that won't work. That kind of welding is for cutting.

File: 1358860866275.png-(18 KB, 361x440, doah.png)

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>>22732893

Rolled 10

>>22732893
First things first. After having to RUN?! Sure must be exhausting.
>[x] [imbibe liquor]

After being properly recharged
>[x] [other]
>Let's find an artefact/relic that can kill/control/stop undead.
>HOLY BOTTLE OF LIQUOR.

>>22732905
>>22732918
>>22732942
>>22732944
>>22733043

I'm so glad I didn't put a timer on this for an agreed-upon plan.

Because you would all be so dead.

Rolled 4

>>22733184
But, but. Running?! Secret passages?

Though if it would lead back into modern world AND unleash zombie apocalypse there I have no complains, that would be a worthy choice.

[x] [imbibe liquor]
[x] [look for any secret passages or escape routes]
>It should better create more damage than good. In the name of HOBO AND GLOBAL CONQUEST.
>Can always learn how to control undead AFTER they dominate the world.

>>22733270
Eeeh, I dunno. I doubt the undead can make booze.

Rolled 20

Moira can lead the way into the darkness, 'cause she's a bat. With that in mind:
>[X] [DRUNKEN BATGIRL EXPLORATION TIME!]
>Wonder what we'll find~!

>>22733342
WE DON'T HAVE MOIRA WITH US ;_;

>>22733372
FUCK.

>>22733342
>Rolling a twenty
>Moira's not in the party

BAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA

>>22733408
WAIT. We've established that through SHEER MANLINESS that Lincoln = Kamina and Moira is his successor, Simon. Simon is the first one to use Spiral power to teleport. Spiral power is magic energy. AND RIFTIA HAS MAGIC ENERGY. Ergo, Moira teleports to us because she knew we needed her help, and we believe in her. My logic is flawless, we have Moira now.

Rolled 7

>>22733408
That means Moira has to drunkenly crash through the roof for SPOOKY MASOLEUM ADVENTURES now.

>>22733428
Pure genius

>>22733428
>>22733408
>>22733446
>>22733548

Just would like to remind you of the implications of Moira being here and not there.

Rolled 17

>>22733583
>implying that Zuli isn't firmly attached to her tits with Faye hanging on taking pictures
WE GETTIN THE GANG BACK TOGETHER

But yeah, leave em at the tank. We need that tank.

FFS guys isn't it obvious the mausoleum contains our undead harem member.

seriously is y'all niggas dense or summing

File: 1358867491667.jpg-(19 KB, 297x369, 134644406818-1438721-what(...).jpg)

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Rolled 9

>>22733635

>>22733775
DeadBrain? Howzat drawing shit coming?

While I wait for the inevitable argument over whether they want a teleporting Moira or not.

Rolled 9

>>22733635
OH GODS.
EXPLORATION TIME.

I wonder if she can control those ghouls.

I'm giggling at the fact that everyone is all "AW YEAH EPIC TREASURE AND ADVENTURE".

And completely forgetting that they're supposed to be figuring out a way to not get eaten.

Right. Well.

It seems [X] Look for any secret passages or escape routes is the clear winner.

>>22733857

simple. we use the tried and tested way of getting out of danger. HONK EVERYTHING THAT IS FEMALE AND IS LIABLE TO MOVE!!!

or out-drink it...

or fill it with lead...

or any combination of the above in no particular order...


but, serious business time;
"Illiana weld that gate shut. see if you can't weld the ghouls to is as well."... "FLESH WELDS DAMN GOOD ENOUGH!!!"
"Fritz, move anything large and heavy infront of the door once Illiana has welded it shut. should buy us some more time."
"I will LOOK FOR CLUES!!!"
pull out a magnifying glass and begin to HONK any statues that look remotely female and examine them for quality.

Rolled 19

>>22733789

Let's just say that I have something...special in work right now.

It's going to be a few pictures and I've long abandoned logic and common sense when creating them.

>>22734077
WOOOOOOOOO!

be back in a bit guys, gotta go pick up my car from the shop.

>>22733964
shame on you, you forgot the sherlock Holmes hat!

>>22734542

you are correct. while we are at it, we also need a pipe...

feel free to submit suggestions to DETECTIVE LINCOLN's attire, and i will throw together a rough draft of it...

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>>22736803