Why is genderswap so fucking prevalent among shit quest threads?

File: 1358616645834.png-(69 KB, 864x540, FQ Map 2.png)

>here's the setting map, with labels

>>22677950
Because the majority voted female elven bard during character creation.
>>22677919
Un-glamour. Let's take her back to town.

>>22677919
Reveal ourselves, hold off on possibly telling the truth for later.

I still think we should have ditched her, we owe her nothing, even if she's obviously not cut out to be a bandit.

>>22677919
Reveal ourselves and take her back to town.

You let your illusion dissolve and step into the clearing. "I'm here, Varaia," you say, holding out your hands to show you don't have a weapon drawn. "We can head back to town whenever you're ready."

Varaia looks at you, then looks at Jack. "Your mate was looking for you?" she asks rhetorically. "He's loyal. Especially since he's injured," she says, gesturing to his bandaged lower leg.

He's leaning on his rifle like a cane, using it to keep his weight off the one side. You can see his jaw tense. You don't think he likes being talked about like he wasn't there - like he was a child or a pet. "Are you ready to go, then?" he asks, keeping his voice polite. "It's probably a good idea to enter the town while it's still light out. You'll want to be in plain view so that you're not shot tomorrow because people weren't expecting a wild elf to be about."

Varaia gives him a split-second of glare when he speaks up, but then catches herself and says, "Yes, that's a good point. We should leave now," she says, and promptly does that, beginning to walk. You have the distinct impression from how she looks around and fidgets that she would prefer to be moving much faster through the woods, but is intentionally walking slowly for the benefit of you and Jack.

Do you talk about or do anything on the way back to town? It will be a couple of hours to walk there, especially if Jack needs to stop and rest.

>>22678254
Crack a joke, sing a song, do something bardy. This mood's too heavy and we need to lighten it.

>>22678354
Too loud, at most some humming.

>>22678354
This. No need to be nosey and I'm not sure Jack would want to talk to her at the moment anyway.

We'd best explain our relationship with Jack and that we both wont take any racism shit.

This trip is going to be an awkward one - you can tell. Varaia is casually ignoring Jack while Jack is giving Varaia the silent treatment. Jack's clearly offended, and you get the impression that Varaia doesn't respect him. Which makes sense, you guess, because there's a good chance she's ten times his age, or even older. After all, she talked about how she was alive in a time before Marsen was even starting to colonize Sirocco.

You decide to lighten the mood a little. You wrack your mind, trying to think of a good, funny story to tell, eventually settling on the story of the journeys of a party made up of an elf, an orc, a dwarf, and a man. The simplest comparison you can come up with is the Journey to the West meets the Odyssey with Shakespeare levels of fart and dick jokes.

Varaia smiles - you think she's heard this one before, or at least one version of it, as there are a few. Jack, on the other hand, listens intently, and even asks a few questions as you tell it. Varaia rolls her eyes when he does, but you think they're good questions that bare clarification an explanation, and are happy to do so.

The story's about a third of the way told by the time you arrive at Salvation. The shadows are starting to get long, but the sun isn't ready to set yet. People are staring and pointing at Varaia, and you see a few people rest their hands on their guns, waiting for her to give them a reason.

What do you do now that you're back in town?

>>22678603
Discussion time at the tavern? Get Vararia to tell us about any sins she's done, and anything that might put her at odds with the citizens. Then we make her stop being so raciss mang to Jake, before we decide how we're going to sleep.

>>22678777
I'm with you on most of that, but what do you mean how we're going to sleep? We have a room, don't we?

>>22678811
we gonna sleep all on same bed <3

>>22678811
We can't snuggle with Varaira in the room.

Rolled 65

>>22678949

We are not gonna sleep on the same bed. We make her sleep on a bedroll on the floor

>>22678603
Inform the sheriff of Varaia's presence, hang out in the tavern, get on the train the next day.

We could also tell Varaia about our lie now that we're in town.

>>22679045

seconded. Also try to bard magic her to convince her to tell us everything about the organization she was with before hand. I don't want us risking any unknown information

>>22679098
>Also try to bard magic her to convince her to tell us everything about the organization she was with before hand. I don't want us risking any unknown information
lolno

You all head to the saloon, taking care not to give the sheriff, or any of the other gun-toting thugs, a reason to gun down Varaia - or Jack, for that matter. You three take a seat at a table, and order a beer for Jack and a half-beer for you and Varaia. When your refreshments arrive, you give everyone a minute to drink a little before you start talking.

"First, stop being racist towards Jack. That's non-negotiable," you say.

"...fine," she agrees, hesitantly.

"Second, we need to figure out what we're doing for sleeping arrangements. Jack, can we afford to get her another room?" you ask.

"Not if we want to pay for the train tickets," he says. "We could have before, but I had to pay a doctor to fix my leg up. I can sleep on the floor, though - you two can take the bed."

"Nonsense, child, I'm perfectly capable of sleeping on a floor," says Varaia. You glare at her, and she says, "I didn't say anything racial. He is only as old as a child."

Jack glares at Varaia, who looks smug.

"A side from helping kidnap me, what have you done that might make you enemies or make you wanted by the law?" you ask, as the final question.

"I helped kidnap three other court members," she says, unreservedly. "I stole from human and dwarf merchants out in the woods. I was also the one who put the arrow through your mate's leg."

Jack looks shocked, then angry, then back to shock.

Well, shit.

How do you resolve these various issues, if at all?

>>22679142

Well at least it was just an arrow.

>>22679142
SHE was the one who shot our husbando? THAT BITCH.

>>22679142
She helped us escape, but at least she didn't kill Jack.

>>22679142

well, were the merchants from this town? because that might pose a problem if they recognize her.

did any of the courts/merchants die during all this?

the least she should do is apologize to Jack for damaging those manly legs.
also, stop being such a condescending grandmother.
we might tolerate it but everyone else in this town would jump at the chance to shoot her.

>>22679142
Welp, do the people she's wronge have any way f finding or recognizing her? Maybe see if we can get her to agree to let Jack give her a punch or something as payback, not that he'd do it. SO GENTLEMANLY.

>>22679142
Glare for a moment, then sigh.
The shit we have to put up with.

You're about to say something, when Jack beats you to it, breaking the silence. "Fine. I'll take the bed wit Nona, then, and you'll take the floor," says Jack, as if that was her punishment for having shot him. You and Varaia both stare at him, surprised, for a second, before Varaia breaks out laughing - a light giggle with a big smile.

"I like you, child," she says. "Yes, I'll take the floor."

"That's another thing," you say. "We get that you're older than most of the adults here. Stop treating them like children, though. They're grown men and women, and will take offense."

She looks like her impulse is to glare, but she doesn't. "Your point is valid," she says. "I'll make sure not to offend the child-races."

You sigh. That's, well, a start, you guess.

"If you can't afford a second room, I don't suppose that you can afford less conspicuous clothes for me either," she says, gesturing down to herself. She's wearing deer leather pants and a rough leather jacket. Both are decorated with dangling beads and feathers at the cuffs. She has a composite recurve bow slung over her and a quiver hanging at her side. On her other side, she has a steel tomahawk and bowie knife. She wears a pair of soft moccasins. She, aside from that, appears to have no equipment or clothes, not even a bag. "Also, you mentioned the train. Are you leaving for somewhere?"

What do you do/say?

>>22679479
jack wants to become a paladin,
and I got a head full on new songs to sing
(can't remmeber name of orc city ) seam like a good place for both goals to work.

speaking of work lets sing try and earn enough money to get a third train ticket

>>22679479

>i'm not to sure but we were planning to go to Orsalem, right?

her gear should work well in the wooded land so she'll probably only need a bag.

>>22679542
Orsalem, wasn't it? It's labeled in the map pic.

>>22679479
Maybe the town would be less suspicious of her if she didn't dress like a Wild Elf. After all, without the native american getup, she's just a delicious brown elf, right?

>>22679599

from what i understand, only the wild elf have a really dark skin color, the rest has very light skin.

no harm in getting her some different clothes but we're pretty short on money right now so she'll have to earn some.

train tickets are the most important right now.

>>22679479
We'd either have to earn some money by barding it in the Saloon, or we have to sell some things to make due.

"We're going to try to go to Orsalem," you say. "Jack's interested in making a pilgrimage, and I'm in it for the traveling company and the adventure."

"We're waiting for the train," Jack adds on after you finish. "It's due the day after tomorrow, and we'll probably take it all the way down south to one of the colonial ports."

Varaia bites her lip. She suddenly looks every bit the uncertain, nervous girl. "Will I be able to come with you two?" she asks. "I mean, if you can't afford it, I could try to earn enough money for a ticket tomorrow."

She must have been assuming that Jack was talking about tickets for just the two of you, and not her, when saying that you couldn't afford a second room. You're pretty sure he wasn't. You turn and look at Jack - he looks surprised too.

What do you say?

>>22679690
We have that second revolver - the five-shot .38. It was pretty cheap when we bought it, but selling it might be better than nothing. Unless Varaia knows how to use guns, then maybe we should give it to her to supplement her archery.

>>22679726
Terrible idea, Varaia already has one ranged option already and she's pretty good with it considering she shot Jack in the leg with it.
I'm all for selling the .38 though.

>>22679752
we could keep the .38, and sell the .357 instead.

>>22679766
The .357 would probably sell for a lot more, but that is our good gun...

>>22679714

of course she can come, but we'll have to really earn some dosh, maybe sell our excess gun if the need arises.

i have no idea which of the two guns we have is better.

>>22679791
The .367 is better. .357 is literally just a .38 with more powder, and .357 guns can fire .38 rounds.

>>22679714
Ask her how she intends to make that money before accidentally sending her on a prostitution quest.

Surely we will need money either way, and we should all pitch in a little to make a few extra bucks.

>>22679835
Uhhh veto prostitution?

>>22679853
Uh... yes? That would be the point.

>>22679714
Just tell her we have enough for all of our tickets and that it's not necessary.

"We have enough money for three tickets," says Jack. "Not much more than that."

Varaia looks... Please? Surprised? Like a child opening a gift, but toned down by a few orders of magnitude. She clearly thought that you two were going to leave her behind by default.

"...how would you have made the money, anyway?" you ask cautiously. You glance at one of the saloon's resident working girls - you hope it wasn't that.

"I hadn't actually considered it," Varaia says. "I probably can't go hunting here - my tribe will be looking for me. For all of us, really. It won't be safe for us in these woods anymore. I don't really have a trade either, or at least not one I could practice here easily." Then she notices where you're looking and a barely-visible blush appears on her chocolate-coloured face. "And I wouldn't want to demean myself for money." Then she looks over, past the prostitute, to the table where the poker game is going. "Perhaps I could gamble."

You're not sure if that's a good idea - after all, those players are all cheaters. Then again, you're not sure if they would be ballsy or dumb enough to cheat a heavily-armed wild elf. It would work, you suppose, if she could beat them at a fair game and was intimidating enough for them to play fair.

"I can probably sell my old gun," you say, considering more options. "I also have a skirt. It would probably fit you."

Varaia nods. "I'm going to go try to get in on their game."

What do you do or say now?

>>22679966
with what money?

>>22679966

let her try. after all what's the worst that could happen.

>>22679775
>>22679814
yeah, but we have jack and his hunting rifle, and now this delicious brown elf as well for ranged combat. we're the bard, our combat ability is secondary to our social abilities.

just saying, if we need money, we don't NEED a better gun necessarily. although, selling a gun we just bought ammo for kinda sucks.

>>22679966
"Be careful, they're all cheaters m'dear."

>>22679966

really not sure if that is a good idea, don't think anyone besides us would mind to much if they accused her of cheating and then the sheriff comes in and offs her.

remind her that this is a mostly dwarf populated town with an twitchy disposition towards almost everyone. Oh and they cheat like nobodies business.

>>22680068
Good point.

>>22679966
Ask her if she can do anything else.

Maybe she can play an instrument too?
Traveling band is always best.

"Be careful, they're all cheaters," you warn her. "And what do you plan to bet with, anyway? You have no money."

Varaia only smiles at you, then pulls out her tomahawk and walks over to the gambling table. "I'm buying in," she says, apparently actually familiar with the game.

"With what?" asks the shady-looking roguish human whom you're pretty sure you spotted taking a pair of queens from his sleeve the previous day.

Varaia answers by throwing her tomahawk blade-first down into the center of the worn and battered wooden table. "There's your collateral," she says. The gamblers look about ready to shit themselves. Jesus fuck, you hope she doesn't get herself shot. "If you cheat me, I'll even hand-deliver it to you," she says, which you assume is a threat rather than a courteous offer.

Do you stay and watch in case something goes wrong? Play some music to try to earn some tips? Bring Jack upstairs and tend to his wound, thank him for trying to protect and rescue you? Something else entirely?

>>22680117
Play some music for a while, then check on our elfen guest and then check Jackie boy

>>22680117
Play some simple music so you can have your primary attention on the gambling table. Definitely not a situation you want to turn a blind eye to.

>>22680160
Since the orcish rape song.
Except switch the orcs and elves.
And sing it in dwarvish.

>>22680117
Try toplaysome calming music and keep an eye on her

>>22680194
Let's not.

>>22680117

check on Jack's injury, can we tell if its done properly? he'll have to ease up on that leg for a while.

after that, casually observe the gambling.

You take a seat at the piano, deciding to play some simple music while you keep an eye on Varaia. You're sure your performance won't be as engaging as it otherwise could have been, and you won't earn as many tips, but seriously, it's like she's asking to get shot. They deal her in, and play starts. They all seem afraid of her - and really, can you blame them? She wins her first hand, wisely folds on the next two, and on subsequent hands appears to be carefully choosing her battles to minimize losses while making safe bets. She really does know how to gamble, and you're pretty sure those fucking cheaters are taking care not to be the person who gets hand-delivered her tomahawk. Well, you'll be damned.

Jack comes up behind you, hugs you around your shoulders, and plants a kiss on the top of your head. "I'm going to go head upstairs and take a bath. I want to clean my leg off and put some fresh bandages on it," he says. Then he starts limping his way up the stairs.

You're getting a few tips here and there, but nothing fantastic. You have a few crowns in the tip jar - a dozen at most - but hey, it's better than nothing. Varaia's doing well - she's not cleaning them out, or anything, but she's making a slow, steady profit.

Do you keep half-watching Varaia, switch to more engaging, profitable songs, go join Jack to help with his bath and changing his bandages, or do something else entirely?

>>22680346
Hehehe jack time!

>>22680346

Varaia seems to be doing pretty good, Jack is fairly crippled, let's go help Jack, if his leg takes a turn for the worse then that will become a huge problem for him.

>>22680430
Rub a dub dub time with Jack can wait, I'd be more worried about Varaia doing anything suspicious in her gambling.

>>22680346
Let's make some more money, do the profitable songs, to supplement Varaia's income. It'll also distract the gamblers a bit.

>>22680743
Seconding.

>>22680346
Really should stay down here in case things turn sour, but she's managing well enough that we could probably try to make some more dosh.

>>22680743

I'm more worried about jack. We need to make sure his injury isn't worse than we think.

You decide to remain where you are. You would like to help Jack - for a variety of reasons - but you think it would be better now to earn some more money and be close at hand in case things turn sour. You switch to some more engaging songs - drinking songs, songs you can dance to, that sort of thing. The change in music changes the atmosphere in the place, and soon people are tipping, making requests, and drinking more - the bartender flashes you a smile of thanks.

You weave your way through a fair few songs, taking a break every couple for a sip of something and to make sure Varaia isn't in trouble. She seems to be doing fine - or well enough, at least. The other gamblers clearly aren't pleased that she's there - nor that she's making a net gain - but aren't doing anything about it. Your tip jar isn't exactly overflowing - you're at a saloon in a small town, not busking on a city street or playing a gig at a night club - but it's certainly filling faster than before.

Finally, Varaia collects her winnings, grabs her tomahawk, and leaves, much to the chagrin and glaring of the other gamblers. She earned more money than you, but you're betting she also made more enemies doing it tonight than you did playing. She walks up to you and says, "I'm going to go try to find the room. I'm pretty tired." She heads up the stairs, and you finish up your current song, dump your tip jar into your bag, and then follow.

..::||continued||::..

>>22680843
Agreed

>>22681035
When you walk into the room, you see Jack already asleep on the bed, wearing his pants but not his shirt. You can't blame him - he's honestly had a rougher day than you have, all things considered. You don't want to wake him.

The second thing you notice makes your heart do a somersault. Varaia is standing there, already topless, and starting to pull down her pants. Her skin is warm and brown and has a few red and black tattoos - stripes, stylized animal paws, that sort of thing - on her abdomen, back, and upper arms and legs. This is the first time, you realize, that you've seen a woman naked in person - other than yourself that is.

"Hello, Nona," she says, continuing to take her pants off, apparently thinking nothing of it. "I'm going to borrow a sheet. I hope you don't mind. There's plenty of other room on the floor for me, at least - it's a good thing your mate didn't insist on sleeping down here."

Is she really planning on sleeping in the nude in the same room as you? In the same room as Jack? Do you do anything, or just let it slide and go to bed?

>>22681041
Eh, different strokes for different folks. Let it slide and go to bed.

>>22681041
Let's imitate her!

>>22681041
Hook boy...well we ask if we can share the blanket on the floor so jack doesn't wake up.

>>22681041

try and i mean REALLY TRY not to eyeball her to much.

ask if she always sleeps without clothing and suggest that it might be better if she wore a shirt.

>>22681041
Eh, she's pretty, let her be nude.

Strip down to our underthings and cuddle with Jack. If there's still room on the bed she's welcome to join, it's softer.

>>22681108
>>22681145
I'm not sure if Jack would be okay with either of those things. Then again, he might be. We would have to wake him up to ask him.

So far, we know he's protective and loyal. What we don't know, though, is how possessive he is, if at all, or how strictly monogamous he is, again, if at all. We haven't really had a situation where it's come up, nor a conversation.

So, us sleeping on the floor with her or inviting her into the bed with him could be a big problem. Or a non-issue. It's hard to know.

Rolled 43

>>22681041
LET'S GIRL TALK WITH HER ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS

And what she thinks of us and Jack

>>22681173

yeah, lets not push it.

we should probably tell Jack that we're not solely interested in men but that he doesn't have to worry.

You decide to just let it slide, but you still make a suggestion to her. "Maybe you should wear a shirt or something in the future. You know, so you don't get ogled by Jack and me or something."

She gives you a funny look, and then says, "The elders say that the fae of Marsen didn't used to have such shame for their bodies. That the need to hide your skin came in the days when the orc Horde brought its faith to the courts." You're not sure if she was criticizing you, or justifying herself, or what, but you're pretty sure it means you shouldn't suggest she wear clothes to bed anymore. She curls up on the floor, wrapping a sheet around herself and using her folded clothes as a pillow. "Look if you want, it doesn't harm me."

Well, you did decide you were going to let it slide. And she is pretty. And you really don't mind that much. You strip down to your underwear and crawl into bed beside Jack. You're asleep in short order.

You wake up to the sound of Jack's voice. He's talking calmly and slowly - you think he's in mid-conversation with someone else. "-is why I want you to. I don't mind, but I don't want her to think I'm tempted by you. Even if looking doesn't hurt you, it could still hurt her if it makes her jealous."

"Fine," responds Varaia, sounding exasperated. "I earned enough money to buy some clothes. I'll make sure that I get something to sleep in."

Do you get up, or pretend that you're still asleep and didn't hear their conversation?

>>22681585
Awww, he wants her to wear clothes around him so we don't get jealous or suspicious, and not because he's a censoring prude. He's such a gentleman.

>>22681585
Get up.

"Jack, she's pretty, I think she's pretty. But I'm not going to be jealous if you notice her, that'd be stupid of me."

>>22681585
I think now is a good time to discuss the fact that we're into women too.

Rolled 31

>>22681651
We should stop being into women for his sake. And hug him.

>>22681662
>stop being into women for his sake
That's not how that works. We're not going to cheat on him with some woman or anything, but we're not just going to stop being attracted to them.

>>22681585
"Jack, I'm attracted too. Don't worry about me being jealous."

Rolled 78

>>22681687
Yeah I know I'm just saying we should give up on that dream. And it won't do anything but create tension if we bring it up.

>>22681585

i agree with >>22681651

we would never cheat on him.

You sit up. Both of them look surprised and nervous - this was apparently supposed to have been a private conversation. Jack is sitting on the end of the bed in pants and suspenders, and Varaia's sitting in a chair in the nude, her sheet and her clothes still on the floor. You let the awkward silence sink in for a second, both of them staring at you, before saying, "Jack. I trust you. I'm attracted to her too - I know you're not going to be tempted away from me, and I'm not going to be unfaithful towards you."

Varaia doesn't look at all surprised by this, but Jack stares at you, the wheels turning in his head. "Oh. You're - to her?" he says, then thinks some more. "Of course I trust you. I wouldn't be jealous. And if you wouldn't either, then I guess there's no issue."

"Finally!" says Varaia, clearly exasperated. "NOW that there's no ISSUE I can sleep comfortably in peace."

Are all elves this sarcastic and arrogant?

"Here, you two kiss and make up or something and I'll go get breakfast from below," she says, slipping on her pants and jacket. She gets her bow, quiver, tomahawk, and knife on as well - you get the impression that she would feel a lot more naked without those than she does without the clothes. Then she walks out of the room, leaving you and Jack in there alone.

What do you do or say?

>>22681942
"Isn't trust awesome?" Then kiss him.

>>22681942
I think we should go after her. She didn't exactly make many friends last night, between being a wild elf and beating those cheaters fair and square. I have a bad feeling about her getting jumped by someone if she leaves our sight today.

>>22681942
Give Jack a kiss. Then check on his injuries, pull off some healing magic on them if we can.

>>22681942

This elf beat some rogues the last night.
She is half naked as I can understand.
Most people distrust wild elves.

Leaving her alone anywhere in this city seems like a bad, bad, very bad idea.

>>22682005
Based on what MP said last thread, I don't think we know any healing magic, unless healing falls under the minor Utility school that we have access to.

>>22682029
But we have access to illusion magic, right? Can we put an illusion to lessen the pain?

"You have no wound!"

>>22682029
If I remember right, the utility school, as it was described, was basically just cantrips. Prestidigitation, creating small flames, that kind of thing.

>>22682046
Do we want to do that? If we turn off the pain of that wound, he might start putting too much weight on it and reinjure it, or at least slow the healing process.

>>22682046
That seems like it'd backfire. Injuries hurting is a way for the body to tell you that you're doing bad things to it. You don't want to turn that off or they might reopen the wounds.

>>22682070
What if we warm him about the spell?

I will put this on you, but you will still hurt, don't forget it. Is just to ease the pain.

>>22682099
It might help if it was only temporary though. Like, have you ever gotten a cut and then not noticed until you saw it? It'd be something like that.

stay with Jack

>>22682125
That sounds like it would be useful in combat, but still bad to use day to day. Which is already how adrenaline works, actually.

>>22681942

as long as she doesn't go outside alone things shouldn't be to difficult, at least not this early.

just lean on him for a bit and then check his leg.

do not magic the pain away, people who feel no pain generally don't notice anything wrong, until they get gravely ill from infection.

Rolled 81

>>22681942
LET'S LEAN OVER

AND GIVE HIM A KISS

ON HIS LOWER BODY

IF YOU CATCH MY MEANING

>>22682211
Kiss his injured leg to make it feel better?

>>22682211
I don't really think we have the time for that, she did just go to get breakfast after all, could only take a few minutes at most.

>>22681942
"Now let me see your foot, Jack."

Bards have some healing magic right?

Rolled 77

>>22682226
Tell her we need to practice learning to play wind insturments!

>>22682241
And we want to learn to be really good at blowing the skin flute?

Rolled 4

>>22682229
Ah, I guess I'll role for that.

>>22682229
See:
>>22682029

>>22681942
just stare at her ass as she leaves and whistle low

You scoot over to Jack and give him a kiss. "Trust is good," you say. "Now, let me see your leg." You have him lie back on the bed, roll his pant leg up, and look at the bandages around his calf and shin. You carefully unwrap it to take a look. The wound has a jagged opening on either side of the calf, but it looks like it's clotted and scabbed, and it doesn't look infected. There is some of his orcishly-black, dried blood on the inside of the bandage, but only a little. Your bardic knowledge kicks in, reminding you that orcs heal faster - about twice as fast - as humans, and heal better, being a lot less likely to be permanently impaired by otherwise identical wounds. Still, it should take a few weeks for it to be completely healed, at the very least. You give the wound a kiss and wrap his leg back up, then lie down next to him and give him a hug.

You realize that today is the seventh day that you've been in this world. It's been an eventful week so far. You close your eyes and relax, enjoying the feel of Jack's chest under your cheek.

Varaia's been gone too long, you think to yourself, sitting up. You look at Jack, he realizes it too. It shouldn't have taken her this long to get back. Maybe she's giving you an Jack some private time to get intimate, but...

Shit, what now?

>>22682508
Maybe, but that's not a risk I'm willing to take.

Dress, get our weapons, head downstairs. See what's going on.

>>22682508
Check on our new party member! And if needed kick some ass.

>>22682508

get dressed and go look for her.

>>22682565
agree
tell jack to rest

You get dressed quickly, tossing on your gun belt too. You leave before Jack, but he's getting ready too - just a little bit slower. You would tell him to stay, but you know he wouldn't.

You stride out of the door and down the hall, stopping at the top of the stairs, and looking down at the scene. The gamblers from the night before are back, and this time they're armed with revolvers and a shotgun. There's a dwarf in the front door - he has a lever-action shotgun - a dwarf standing at the foot of the stairs with a revolver, and the human standing in the middle of the room with a revolver. Varaia is standing about five feet away from him, staring hard, three plates of food in her arms.

"-so, give us back the money you took from us last night, and nobody needs to get hurt," finishes the roguish human. He's pointing his revolver vaguely in her direction. "Oh, and your tomahawk too. As an apology."

She stands, stares, glares. She could probably drop the plates, grab, and throw her tomahawk at him before he could shoot her. But then she would get lit up by the other two.

What do you do, seeing this scene unfolding before you?

>>22682800
We kinda owe her our life. And she won fair and square. We've got two pieces, back her up.

>>22682824
>bard
>doesn't diplomancer

>>22682800
I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN.
We need to do this Metal Gear Nona style, or at least pull off some kind of wizard magic.

>>22682800
Does invisibility count as an Illusion spell? If so, go invisible, take out the guy at the foot of the stairs, then have Mexican-standoff diplomacy with the two that remain conscious. Or just try to knock one of them out with an Enchantment spell.

On an unrelated note, can we replicate the effects of Knock using our Utility magic school? If not, could we someday when we're better at it?

>>22682861
I told ya first!

Jack is behind us, there is a lot of them and bullets are always dangerous. The elf only have a tomahawk to fight. Fighting is a bad idea. Very bad idea.

Diplomacy first.

Cast an illusion behind them to distract them and gain some momentum would be the last option.

"Hey, look behind you!" (cast ghost sound at the door)

>>22682800
Time to bard it up. Make the illusion of footsteps like that of the sheriff outside the building and coming closer. Then diplomance them.

"You three lost fair and square and it sounds like the sheriff is coming. Unless you'd like an altercation that you are going to come out on the losing side of I suggest you holster the iron in your hands and let this go peaceably."

>>22682907
>yes, invisibility is illusion
>no, you're not good enough to handle something so intricate yet
>yes, knock is a utility effect
>no, you're not magically precise enough to do that yet

>>22682851
I was thinking using the fact we have the drop on them to get them to lower their guns.

>>22682800

how long would it take for a sleep spell to take effect?

could we make it lights out for them faster than they can pull the trigger?

>>22682955
>if how fast you knocked out the man who tried to kidnap you a few nights ago is any guideline, you can knock out a stupid, distracted, intoxicated person basically instantly
>you're not sure if a sleep spell would have a full effect on these guys, or if it does, if it would happen instantly - they're distracted, but they're smart enough to know how to con people and don't appear intoxicated

>>22682991

>haven't had enough sleep to think of something good

going to vote for talking them down but don't ask me how.

>need to get sleep.
>goodluck gents.

You've been getting a lot more confident lately, you note to yourself in the calm, quiet part of your mind.

You react almost instantly. You pull out illusions. Three prostitutes, figments of nothing but sight and sound, coming out of rooms and around corners, leveling longarms from over railings and around corners, with satisfying clacks. You draw your pistol as well, aiming it squarely at the back of the man standing at the foot of the stairs.

The gamblers are terrified - which is good. Based on how they reacted to Varaia yesterday, and how they came at her with guns and superior numbers today, you were betting they were cowards. "You sure you don't want to rethink who owes what to whom?" you ask from the top of the stairs, doing your best impression of a hardass cowboy gunslinger. The result, from your perspective, is vaguely hilarious, with your soft, high soprano voice. You note in the future that if you want to sound like a badass, you should probably shoot more for a venomous femme fatale.

"How about you boys put down your guns, empty your pockets, and walk nice and slow out those doors. Unless, of course, you really want the tomahawk that badly," you say, having switched to a syrupy, venomous tone.

For one long heart beat, you're not sure if they will, but then they start setting their guns on the floor and emptying their pockets, leaving a scattering of ammunition and a fair few crowns. They file slowly out the front door.

What now?

>>22683243
crisis adverted! now grab the guns and time to get out of town!...oh wait train...uhh...

>>22683243
thank raptor Jesus we leaving this town today
well lets grab there stuff eat breakfast and catch that train.

>>22683291
We're leaving the town tomorrow, actually.

>>22683243
NONAAAAAA YOU GENIUS 30 YEAR OLD NECKBEARD. This is gonna attract the attention of the Sheriff, we need to get Jack and Varaia out of town immediately.

>>22683243
Okay, the bartender likes us, right? Let's get them to back our story that we, with the help of the place's whores, thwarted a robbery by the gamblers. Since that's more or less true already, getting the place's employees to back our story should keep the sheriff from making our life or our friends' lives a living hell for the next 24 hours until we get out of town.

>>22683243
Pick up their stuff and their guns, have the illusions walk off to somewhere they can't be seen before disappearing, and motion for Varaia to come up to the room with breakfast.

>>22683352
Huh... If i understand right, all the prostitutes were illusions we pulled with magic. Which made me wonder: if the gamblers are usually hanging around, would not notice something is wrong? I mean, I bet they would recognize at least one or two of the whores working there, right?

Nevermind: we grab all the stuff we can and get the shit out of the town before anything else happens.

Can Jack run? Is a good moment to begin

>>22683316
well fuck looks like we need night watch now

we could take there stuff to the sheriff
- a few crowns and rounds and tell him
what happened give him there stuff and a description ask him to give
it as donation to what ever the local church/orphanage/shelter/old man is around these parts
because those ass-wholes didn't need it

>>22683406
Nona probably made illusionary duplicates of the place's actual whores.

>>22683406
>Nevermind: we grab all the stuff we can and get the shit out of the town before anything else happens.
Unless you want to go back into the fucking woods, where the wild elves are waiting for us? We have the wait until tomorrow, when the train arrives.

>>22683530
>Nona probably made illusionary duplicates of the place's actual whores

Is that a good illusionist? D:

- Hey, Clara, what are you doing? I know I still own you the tip for that additional job, but I can pay you, just put the gun down and help me to recover my money!

>>22683426
>>22683540
I vote the Sherrif idea.

admonish foolish wild elf for her reckless behavior

>>22683426
I agree

>>22683676
She didn't do anything wrong!

>>22683676
All she did was win at poker, not really something she could avoid while making money for travel expenses.

You let the illusions fade and put away your gun while Varaia sets the plates down on the table. She leans on a chair for a second, breathing hard - she had barely been breathing during the standoff. You two start going around, picking up the guns, cash, and ammunition. The dwarves had a six-shot .44 that would probably make your hand and wrist go numb to try to fire and a lever-action 12 gauge with a five shell tube. The human had a five shot .38 in the same model as your old pistol.

Half-way through the collecting, Jack comes limping down the stairs carrying his rifle. You explain, quickly, what happened to him, and give him the guns to carry. He seems morose, or guilty, that he wasn't there to help sooner, and gives a long, hard glance at his injured leg while you're all making sure you have everything.

"If the sheriff asks, they were trying to rob the place and we and the girls drove them off," you say, tossing a few bills on the counter where the wide-eyed bartender stands, still in shock.

The three of you then walk down to the sheriff's office. He looks surprised to see you. "So, what the fuck have I done to deserve you bringing a greenie and a fucking tribal into my office at the same time?" he asks as a polite greeting.

"We stopped a robbery by the three gamblers in the saloon. They left these guns. Do you want them?" you ask, offering them as evidence.

"Sure, that shotgun looks nice - I'll keep that," he says, interpreting it as a bribe.

What now?

>>22683846
Heh dorf sheriff is delightfully racist.

We should see what guns everyone wants to keep first off, then sell what we don't want and go rest and get some food at the saloon.

>>22683846
Let him have the shotgun. "We'll be out of your hair soon enough, sorry about being part of any trouble. Have a nice day."

I think Jack could use the .44 and we can never have too many revolvers. Get some ammo at the general store, make sure to keep enough for train tickets and other travelling expenses.

Then we can go eat breakfast.

>>22683846
"have a nice day" wave and say good by

save the .44 for jake

give the .38 to Varaia

sell the excess shotgun ammo

then
idk lets get something nice for Varaia

>>22683846
"Sorry to bother you, sir, you have a great day."
We should talk to both Jake and Varaia about the side-arms.
>>22683969
has a pretty good idea, but we don't know for sure if Varaia even knows how to use a fire-arm.
Regardless, we should walk out of that encounter with more than a few crowns after taking their money and selling off the excess firepower.

Go shopping (with all three of you) for some clothing for Varaia, saving enough for train tickets.
I don't know what this setting does with armor, but a gambeson or some leather hide couldn't hurt. Try looking for some around town.

The three of you head out - it's clear you're not wanted, and you don't really want to be there anyway. You start walking over to the general store - it's time to sell some stuff and buy some other things. "Jack, do you want to keep the .44?" you ask.

"I'm either going to be close enough to stab or hit someone or I'm going to be using my rifle," says Jack somberly. "I don't need the pistol."

"Fair enough," you say, ignoring your RPG instincts which say to arm yourself with a primary, secondary, and tertiary weapon, and at least one ranged weapon and one melee weapon. "Varaia, do you want the .38?"

"I'm in a similar situation to Jack," she says, gesturing to her bow, then her tomahawk. "Also, I've never used a firearm before."

When you get to the store, you put the .44, the .38, the .44 ammo, and the 12 gauge shells on the counter to sell. You figure you'll keep the .38 rounds, since you can fire them from your .357, and that puts you up to 35 .38 rounds. You only get about 15 crowns for the two .38s, but you get almost 50 for the .44, and a bit of spare cash after that for the ammo.

Between your tips last night, Varaia's gambling winnings, and the cash from selling the guns, you have more than enough to buy Varaia an outfit. She ends up with a white button-up blouse, a pair of too-long denim slacks that she cuts off just past her knees, and a pair of bona fide cowboy boots. She also gets panties, but refuses the bra.

Do you return to the room for her to change?

>side note, Varaia has a very similar built to you - as do all elves, really - but a somewhat more amble chest
>she doesn't have a large bust by human, or especially dwarven or orcish measurements, but she does for an elf

>>22684263
Let's return, she ought to stick out a bit less in a normal outfit.

>>22684263
...Let's return so that she sticks out less, of course.

I'm thinking that after we get the tickets, we ought to buy a few more rounds, and see if we can't get Jack's calf healed up a little bit more with restorative magic.

Random question: I know we seem to have a cowboy aesthetic here, but do people of this realm use metal armors? I know it seems a bit old, but with the high-magic, I'd figure somebody could enchant a cuirass to be more bullet-resistant.

>>22684524
This is good. But, where are we going to get restorative magic?

>>22684524
I'm pretty sure plate armor works vs low caliber handguns at the very least. It's just a bitch to transport and put on every day (not to mention you could be making more guns from the metal).

>>22684524
>the setting is vaguely dungeonpunk
>in more developed areas, like cities in Marsen and such, wand guns are more common, there are magical information networks, and things like that
>you could get an enchanted piece of armor, but it would have about the same restrictions, rarity, and pricing as a kevlar vest
>the cowboy aesthetic is because you really are out on the frontier right now
>>22684545
>the doctor where Jack got his leg patched up is actually also a healer
>the nonmagical healing is much less expensive, and you honestly still can't afford to get it healed with magic and still be able to get three train tickets with what's left over

>>22684545
I don't know, I guess we should look around. With all of these guns and all of these folks packing, there should be a market for the kind of magic that can fix a hole in the body.

I sortof assumed that we could help him out with our own bard magic, although it wouldn't be too effective.

>>22684690
Nah, we don't actually have healing magic at all.

>>22684620
And it looks like while there is a healer here, we can't afford the magic options.

The three of you head back to the saloon with Varaia's clothes. You and Jack get starting on the breakfast that you didn't get to head before, while Varaia heads upstairs to get changed into her new clothes. She's back in a few minutes, though a little longer than expected. She's taken the short strings of beads and the feathers from the cuffs of her old tribal clothes and attached them to the cuffs of her new pants and sleeves, right near her elbows and either side of her knees. She's also used a bit of cord to tie her black hair up into a ponytail, though her bangs are still free.

Anyone who took a look at her would be able to tell that she was a wild elf, but at first glance or from the corner of your eye she just looked like a brown girl. She does, of course, still have her weapons on her, though. That's something you wouldn't expect to change any more than you would expect Jack not to carry his knife, hatchet, and rifle, or you your gun belt.

She takes a seat at the table too, and eats quickly. "Is there anything to do in town?" she asks.

"Not really," you say. "There was gambling, but that's off. I've been playing the piano, but I don't expect many people to be coming in today after that scene this morning."

"We tried having a picnic," Jack mentions, giving her a steady look. "But I don't think that's really an option."

Varaia frowns.

It seems you have three adventurers bored and stuck in town until tomorrow. What do you do or try to get done today?

>>22684947
We need to play it safe. No more gambling is for sure even though we gained a bit of profit, going outside of town to get ambushed by wild elves who will buttfuck us back to our neckbeard body won't do either.

>>22684947
No more gambling and we should stay in town.

Let's just play it safe, relax for the day, play a bit of music when the fancy takes us, practice illusions, sit in Jack's lap at times.

>>22684947
I am all for trying to turn our couple into a triple, if you know what I'm saying. Or trying to get Jack to actually go all the way with us. I don't think there's much else we really can do.

>>22684947
We are a Bard. Lets tell some stories. Hell, we could use illusions to make a movie out of it.

>>22684947
we should have grab a few blank books start writing down movies as plays star wars, LOTR, exct..

>>22685054
Seems a bit soon for that, if we don't take our time with both of those things it'll end badly.

>>22684947
I think we should talk to the doctor about how much healing we can get with the amount of money we have. Anything we can do to that calf to help it heal better should be done; Jack can't do too well in a melee or at range if he has to use a crutch.

>>22685058
>movie
We were a huge, terrible neckbeard, right? Let's assume that we know the entire Star Wars franchise by rote - or at least close enough to approximate. We would play fucking Star Wars for these guys.

>>22684947
We need to lay down.

Let jack rest for a while, tune our instruments, practice shooting at the border of the town. Maybe we can even try to teach to Vara how to shoot.

Or we can ask her about interesting tales about her culture and personal life.

>>22685054
Yes
>>22685058
No

>>22685074
Yes yes yes yes yes yes!

Also I'm gonna veto the triple thing. Story sounds more interesting than another fapfic.

>>22685083
>>22685097
>>22685123
>>22685074
Agree, jack need rest and the World needs star wars

>>22684947
Start teaching Jack and Varaia how to play instruments. With a guitarist, a bassist, a drummer and a singer, we've got a full band, so we'd only need one more person. Two if we want somebody on keyboard.

You decide that if you're going to piss away a whole day, you're going to piss away the whole day doing something with which you have a ton of experience. A fucking marathon. You decide that you're going to get some good, hard practice with illusions and performance by playing the original Star Wars trilogy - something you can more or less recite by rote - using your illusion magic.

What's more, you put out the tip jar. By the time you're a large way through with the first film, a large enough segment of the town has arrived to prompt you to start over from the beginning - and charge a small fee to do so too. And so you start again, this time progressing all the way through the end of Return of the Jedi, and nearly filling your tip jar.

It's late afternoon now, and you're feeling really drained, mostly mentally, from doing all of that work - keeping the illusions running, remembering the story, presenting it correctly, and so on. The townsfolk, though, are clamoring for more - and you were stupid enough to mention that there was a trilogy of prequels too. If you continued, you could probably make a lot of money, and change the prequels' editing and writing in all of the ways you always obsessively considered. You might overexert yourself, though, which could knock you out cold.

So, do you continue and give these people the Star Wars you had always imagined, or take a break and do something else?

>>22685294
Tell them we'll do the prequels tomorrow.

Then do >>22685292. We rock band now.

>>22685319
We can't do the prequels tomorrow, we need to hightail it out of town by then.

>>22685319
But we're leaving tomorrow on the train.

>>22685292
We can play the role of a guitarist and a singer. Vararia would make a great bassist or second guitar. Jack just screams drummer.

>>22685294
This is the greatest thing ever. Like no lie. Tell them to give you a little bit of time to catch your breathe and start on the prequels. If we get knocked out cold our Orc husbando can take care of us, also tell him that you might faint but you should be fine from the magic.

>>22685294
Take a short break, get some food, get some water to drink, walk around a bit, get some energy back, and then once we're feeling a bit less tired do the prequels, but modify them to make them better and cut out the chaff so it doesn't run as long and tire us too much.

>>22685294>>22685372
Go with what this anon says. Take a short nap, get some stuff to eat, preferably some brain food, maybe meditate a little bit, and then do the prequels.

>>22685294

(What happened in this thread so I can put up the archive?)

>>22685502
We bluffed the hell out of people, the sheriff was a racist ass, and we played star wars for the locals.

You quiet everyone down and tell them that you need a couple of hours to rest, and to get something to eat. You continue, suggesting that they should all get something to drink at the bar and relax for a while, that you'll continue once you have an early dinner. Then you release the crowd's attention, some of whom leave, some of whom get drinks, and most of whom begin chatting with each other. You sit back down with Jack and Varaia.

"That was really good," says Jack, seriously. "I liked the mage-knights with the light sabers, but I didn't like the ewoks at all. Did you think that up yourself, or did you hear it somewhere else?"

"I expect she thought it up herself," says Varaia. Here eyes are twinkling and she's excited. "I've never heard that one before, not any version of it." You hadn't considered how unusual it must be for elves to be presented with something completely new to them. After all, most things they see must be modern retellings of old stories, just like how it was in your world.

"I actually did hear it somewhere else," you say, conspiratorially. "But the prequels I'm going to do were originally really badly executed. I'm going to be putting my own twist on them when I do them. Speaking of which, I really am feeling drained. I'm hoping I'm going to be ready again this evening, but if I'm not, I may faint, so watch out for that," you continue.

Jack frowns. He probably doesn't like to see you pushing yourself too hard.

..::||continued||::..

>>22685690
When evening rolls around and you start again, you swear, even if the viewers didn't enjoy it - which they did - it would still be worth it to you just to see the prequels done right. Terrible shit removed, setting adjusted back in line with the original trilogy, franchise aesthetic maintained, dialogue fixed, acting improved, entire characters cut, magic-tier special effects.

You're straining, by the end, but you keep awake, and the transformation of Anakin Skywalker into Darth Vader draws gasps and applause from the audience. You're pleased by the audience reaction - and the cash in your jar - and you think you learned a lot about how to do illusions better, in precision, intricacy, and efficiency.

You decide you might want to start writing down the screenplays of media from your world, like what you've been doing with converting songs. Never before have you been so pleased to have an encyclopaedic knowledge of useless amounts of media. It looks like your life as a pathetic waste of space might actually help build your life as a ageless bard.

But now, you need to rest. Your body's not tired, just your mind, so you help Jack up the stairs, while Varaia goes on ahead. When you get to the room, Varaia's down to her underwear - it seems she's going to leave those, at least, on tonight. Jack strips down to his pants, you to your underwear, and your climb into bed.

Say or do anything, or straight to sleep?

>>22685653
>something like this, but with the word 'Goddamn' tacked on at the end; most of the archive descriptions end with a single declaratory curse word

>>22685699
Nappity nap time! Then, in the morning, we can see what sort of cool things we can do on the rails!

>>22685699
We need to tell Varaia that we don't actually work for Mab. That we were a 30 year old human from another world. We won't be able to keep bluffing forever if we keep converting stuff from our world, and the longer we wait to tell her, the madder she'll be when we do.

Mind you, most of what we said was true. If they had tried to ransom us off, Mab really would have denied that we work for here and she probably would have killed all of them. All of Varaia's motivations were valid, we just didn't have time to correct her before we made the escape. She'll definitely be mad, but she should get over it, and she needs to know.

>>22685750
We should definitely tell her before we leave the continent.

>>22685653

(Got it. Writing shit up now)

>>22685699
Tell Varaia that if she doesn't want to sleep on the floor she can cuddle up on the other side of Jack, say that he's warm and isn't going to do anything out of line.

>>22685750
First, no matter what, we never mention the 30 year old neckbeard thing. I'd prefer not to reveal that we're from another world, but at the very least say nothing about being a neckbeard.

>>22685781
>First, no matter what, we never mention the 30 year old neckbeard thing. I'd prefer not to reveal that we're from another world, but at the very least say nothing about being a neckbeard.
I didn't suggest we say neckbeard. Our story to Jack was that we were a 30 year old human. We didn't specify gender or anything like that. So, we give her the same partial truth.

"Varaia?" you ask in the dark room.

"Yes, Nona?"

"You don't have to sleep on the floor. It's warm and comfortable up here, and we know you're not going to try something with one of us."

There's silence, then a shuffling sound. You feel her slip into the bed on your side, spooning up behind you as you're curled up on Jack's side, using his chest as a pillow. You feel her breasts on your back - her skin is hotter than Jack's, and softer too.

"I need to tell you something, Varaia."

"What, Nona?"

"I don't work for Mab."

You feel her go tense behind you. He breathing stills. Jack notices her reaction too, and you feel him tense as well.

"Everything else I said was true. Mab would have probably killed everyone. They would have killed me. I only lied in the first place to keep them from killing me. You still did the right thing."

More stillness. More tension.

Then you hear a sob.

Something wet on your neck.

She's pressing her face up against the back of your neck, into your hair, and crying.

What do you do?

>>22686101
Cuddle her up, I guess. Sometimes, it's better to not say anything, and she needs some sort of support...we ought to give her a hug. Unless she wants to talk about something, bed is a good idea afterwards.

>>22686101
Turn around, cuddle up to her, motion for Jack to wrap his arms around both of us. Gently rub her back to calm her down while stroking her hair, let her cry it out.

Sing a nice calming caring tune.

>We want a sexy bath scene!
Okay, here's helping a strong men brought low by an injury struggle to get in and out of the tub!

>We want two sexy elves and an orc in the same bed!
Okay, one of them is crying and nobody wants to fuck!

>>22686214
>It's glorious. Shut your whore mouth.

>>22686101
I wonder how she's feeling right now. Probably regretting abandoning her tribe for a lie, bur realizing there's no way to go back.

Well, their entire way of life is fucked (if Earth history is any indication), so she would have had to integrate into society sooner or later. I also don't feel bad for her taking us for ransom.

No cuddling, just a simple "I'm sorry" will do, I think. Maybe an "I don't blame you."

>>22686204
Agreed,

>>22686241
Isn't integration exactly what the ransom thing was about? Ransoming someone for a place in a court? I get the impression right now that she's crying because she has no home, no court, and not even the tribe she grew up with. Imagine if you lost something you had for centuries - something like a family or a country - and had nothing to replace it. I imagine that affiliation, a place to belong, is something incredibly important for fae races.

>>22686242
I third the trying and make her feel better part.

>>22686101
Tell her the rest of the truth, except for the "we were a dude once" thing.

It'll help to know that we're still basically winging it in a world we don't know much about. And would also explain why it was guaranteed we'd have been killed; we didn't exist here until a week ago, so aside from the two people in this room nobody cares if we live or die.

You turn around so you're facing her and pull her face up against your chest. You hum a soothing tune and rub her back, her hair. She keeps sobbing into your chest - she's really letting loose. Jack turns around so he's spooning you, then wraps his arms around you both and gives a big squeeze.

"I'm not from here," you say. "I don't know if you'll believe me, but it's the truth. Until a week ago, I was in another world. That's where I got Star Wars from. I was a 30 year old human, and a week ago I woke up looking like this, naked, in the woods. Jack found me, saved me, brought me here. You two are the only people I know in the entire world right now. That's why I had to lie - you guys said I was Unseelie, but if I am, I sure don't know who my liege is."

She's still just crying into your chest.

"Or maybe I am from this world, and my memory was altered to make me think I wasn't, and then I was dumped in the woods. I don't know. All I know is I'm pretty much alone, just like both of you."

You feel her hand on your face. Her finger tips are soft and warm and touching you only lightly. She tilts up her face and kisses you. It's closed mouth and not the least bit sexual, like a cheek kiss moved two inches over. She's still crying while she does it, and gets tears on your face. You mostly just feel awkward.

Then she's crying against your chest again. Eventually, her breathing slows and she falls asleep. What do you do now?

>>22686564
Go to sleep, I think we've had enough feels for today.

Rolled 63

>>22686564
Why, why did we tell her the WHOLE TRUTH?

>>22686564
sleep

"I...I'm sorry

Get some sleep and rue the day some wizard or mind-reader pulls our true neckbeard out of our memories.

Rolled 23

>>22686564
Are we at least gonna keep "we used to be male" secret? Because we better.

>>22686620
We didn't tell her we were a dude and we didn't tell her we were a neckbeard. We honestly omitted most of it. She's just as in the loop as Jack now.

>>22686634
>Our horrible secret!

>>22686564
Keep on humming until we fall asleep, snuggle more with everyone and get some rest.

>>22686620
>>22686634
well we haven't lied exactly just haven't said we wear a dude just human

>>22686564
>"Or maybe I am from this world, and my memory was altered to make me think I wasn't, and then I was dumped in the woods. I don't know.

O shit, we're going Total Recall here. This could be bad. If I realized what I just said I don't think I could sleep. I'd work to make sure my brain kept things right.

>>22686666
>>22686592
Sleep!

>>22686663
None must ever know.

>>22686564
Sleep.
I seem to be alone in hoping this doesn't become a regular thing.

We should convert Star Wars into a play.
Start making royalties off of it. Or at least a big chunk of cash if that's not possible, who knows with this fantasy world.

>>22686771
>we should become Fantasy George Lucas
>Fantasy George Lucas is a petite elven woman

Rolled 88

>>22686787
Wait...
What if one of the elven queens is George Lucas?
An old virgin with pathetic, encyclopedic nerd knowledge, like us, but evil!

Rolled 87

>>22686694
Next movie we do, fucking total recall.

>>22686771

Could you imagine the ramifications of makeing our world fantasy scripts in this world? Try to imagine showing off Lord of the Rings in this world.

>>22686826
If we keep introducing all this sci-fi to a fantasy world they're going to start building space ships.

>>22686826
>not retelling Fullmetal Alchemist

It's not even that far removed from the world we're in!

>>22686835
yea its too god of a plan we should do it our selves

do the hobbit instead a a play

>>22686835
We could easily pass off LotR as an ancient tale passed town, everyone will call it "fucking elven propoganda".

Sleepless night because Nona is too busy thinking of movies to convert.


>Total Recall
>LoTR
>Mel Brooks movies.
>Monty python

>>22686855
What about porn?

Think on all the /d/ickgirl material you have seen all this years...

You close your eyes and start heading to sleep... And then something you said hits you. What if what you said is right, that you've always been this elven woman and that your memories are altered? You've been assuming that the reason your personality has been taking on new features is because of the transformation, that they're layering on top of your old self. What if the false memories of your human life are just starting to wear away a little and let the true you through? You're going full Total Recall here.

It's hours before the paranoia wanes enough for you to actually fall asleep.

When you wake up, you're groggy - you didn't get enough sleep - and in an empty bed. You hear Jack and Varaia up and packing, talking about the route the train will take, and how it will take a few weeks of riding to actually get to the port city that is the destination.

You sit up slowly and rub your eyes. There's a plate of breakfast on the table waiting for you, and both of your traveling companions smile at you. "I was wondering when you would finally wake up," says Jack. You grunt and get started on breakfast.

Varaia gives you a hug from behind and says, "Thanks for telling me the truth. I'm sorry I got all emotional about it."

"Okay," says Jack. "If the train is on schedule, we should have about an hour before it arrives. Do you have any last-minute things that you want to do?"

Do you have anything left that you want to do in Salvation?

>>22686835
>Try to imagine showing off Lord of the Rings in this world.
Jack would break up with us because of anti-orc bigotry. And we would probably deserve it too. Let's avoid anything with fantasy races - or at least change the fantasy races to aliens and set the whole thing in space.

>>22686943
Since the general store is dirt cheap and we're doing pretty good on money maybe we should pick up a better instrument. Either a nicer guitar or a violin so we can make fiddle music.

>>22686959
We could change the Orcs to something else. Some generic monster race from this world, we'd just need to get a picture of one or see one in person.

>>22686927
>/d/ickgirl
Someone actually voted that as our gender in the first thread, and MP counted that as one vote. I wouldn't be surprised if that's incorporated into the world, at least once, if the world really is derived from Anon's fantasies.

>>22686943
Can we buy some rations for the travel? I know we are going to travel in train, but... what if something wrong happens?

>>22686943
Spaceships will happen and be glorious.
>>22686867
Fuck this racist town! We totes got an adventuring party now!

>>22686943
>>22686969
Wow, anon, that's actually a great idea. Yeah, if we're going to start doing more complicated shows, we ought to get a higher quality guitar (since we can just trade in our old one and save some cash.) Right now would also be a good time to make sure we have basic first aid, enough bullets, toothbrushes, etc. You know, that sortof stuff.

Hey, how is Varaia getting new arrows? Is she a talented fletcher, or are we going to have to pick that up soon?

>>22687009
>Hey, how is Varaia getting new arrows? Is she a talented fletcher, or are we going to have to pick that up soon?

>fletching is one of the trades she knows - one of those trades which she mentioned being unable to practice here in town
>she could also probably simply purchase arrows if she runs out and is willing to suck it up and use arrows that might not necessarily up to her personal standards

>>22686943
mentally check off that we have what would roughly be an adventurer's kit: rope, bag, rations, hammer, pitons, waterskins, whetstone, utility knife

Hey, we earned a whole bunch playing Star Wars yesterday, right? We could spend it on getting a better guitar and gear and stuff.

I think we should spend it fixing Jack's leg. Seriously, think about it.

>>22687099
We'll be on a train for a few weeks, plenty of time to heal up without having to spend dosh on magic.

>>22687099
>I think we should spend it fixing Jack's leg. Seriously, think about it.

Actually, this is a good idea. Does this world have healing temples or something like in D&D?

>>22687122
MP said that the doctor knows healing magic - that healing magic is just much more expensive than mundane doctoring. The setting might also have temples, but we're in a small frontier town with less than a thousand people, so I doubt there would be one here.

>>22687120

Trains are just very long boats on land. Everyone knows adventurers and boats is one of the worst combos ever.

>>22686943
Actually, Question for Varaia. How did her tribe know we were Unseelie? Is there some kind of psychical difference?

>>22687099
Heal jacks leg

>for people wondering about healing magic, it's usually available in one of two places
>either with doctors, who expect payment
>or temples, who expect donations comparable to a doctor's payment
>healing magic is technically a form of necromancy
>the necromancy school is anything and everything that manipulates life force and souls
>most healers are hyper-specialized in just healing
>some healers, though, like Paladins, learn the school extensively, which lets them do white necromancy, like laying on hands, turning undead, cleansing souls of curses, buffing, and so on
>black necromancy, on the other hand, is draining life force, creating undead, laying curses, stealing souls, debuffing, that sort of thing
>fallen Paladins usually become black necromancers, and the temptation is often one of the driving forces that makes a Paladin fall
>think of White Necromancy as the light side and Black Necromancy as the dark side; at the end of the day, it's still the same force

>>22687141
That's because nobody ever wants to play an underwater campaign, so unless there's a pirate attack or some shit there's nothing to do.

Also, it's a lot easier to bail out of a train if you set it on fire. Well, and survive past the immediate "getting out of the burning vehicle" phase.

Rolled 85

>>22686943
e could probably make enough money with movies to buy our way into the courts.

>>22687162
They probably assumed we were Unseelie because we claimed allegiance to Queen Mab, liege of the Unseelie Court.

>>22687343
We claimed allegiance to Queen Mab after they said we were Unseelie.

Rolled 57

>>22687351
What the hell is a Queen Mab anyway?

File: 1358652923673.jpg-(102 KB, 434x800, QueenMab2.jpg)

>>22687366

A fairy queen like Titania.
She's from Romeo and Juliet.

She's big on wish fulfillment and dreams, so she's actually a fair candidate for the person who did this to us in the first place.

>>22687425
>Titania.
>from Romeo and Juliet.

Do you even Midsummer Night's Dream?

>>22687437
Queen Mab is from Romeo and Juliet.

>>22687437
Queen Mab is referenced to in Romeo and Juliet,

Titania is from Midsummer Night's Dream.

"I want to get your leg fixed," you say, pulling out your tip jar.

"You don't need to do that for-"

"Shut up, Jack, I'm doing this for you, and there's nothing you can say to stop me," you say.

He sighs and shrugs.

Once you finish with your breakfast, you finish up with the packing, and head out with Jack and Varaia to the doctor's office. On the way, you ask Varaia, "So, what made you say I was Unseelie? How could you tell."

She gives you a look like you're a moron, then has a look of realization, and says, "Your colors. Your hair, your eyes, your skin - they're all cool in tone. If I became Unseelie, I would stop having colours of the earth and have colours of winter too. Snowy skin, raven hare, blue eyes, something like that."

Oh. Apparently changing court membership status changes your appearances. You wonder if that means that the little folk and goblins would change appearance too.

You arrive at the doctor's office and all walk in. The doctor is an older human man. You plonk your jar of cash down in front of him and say, "We're ready for you to heal Jack's leg now."

He counts out his fee, leaving you with almost nothing left in the jar, sits Jack down, rubs his hands together, and gives Jack an anticlimactic tap on his leg. "There you go, good as new," he says. Sure enough, Jack stands up just fine. You all thank the doctor and go - you don't want there to be any risk of missing the train you've been waiting for.

..::||continued||::..

>>22687480
When you get to the train station, you file up to the counter to buy your tickets. You see that you have two different choices for cabins on the train.

The first is bunks - a cabin with four bunks. It has plenty of floor space, and everyone would get their own bunk. It's the most expensive option, though, and Jack's too tall to bunk comfortably.

The second is a bed. You get a queen-sized bed, but almost no floor space. It's the cheaper of the two options, but everyone would have to sleep in the bed or on the floor, just like back at the hotel.

Each has their own benefits and drawbacks. Jack is leaning towards the bed for obvious reasons, while Varaia is leaning towards a bunk with floor space. They want you to weigh in with your vote.

What do you vote for?

Rolled 91

>>22687491
BED
BED
BED

>>22687491
Always go for the cheap option, we're trying to save dosh here. BED!

Rolled 81

>>22687500
Bunk, just because.

>>22687491
Bed.

>>22687491
I think for now It would be prudent to save money

>>22687510
Bed actually sounds like the better choice.

>>22687491
Queen sized bed. We'll take turns sleeping on the floor if the bed isn't big enough.

Rolled 53

>>22687564
>Not just group cuddles

>>22687491
Bed, it's cheaper, Jack won't fit in the bunks, and we'll get cuddles.

>>22687491
Bed.

IDEA: We can have Jack and Varaia be our editing team for converting stuff from our world to theirs.

>>22687491
Monkey, was there ever any question about if we'd want the bed or not? We all just,want a cuddle pile at this point.

>>22687491
Bunk

"Let's get the bed. Jack won't fit in a bunk, and you're welcome to sleep in the bed with us," you say. Plus, it's the cheap option, but you don't say that part out loud.

"Really?" asks Varaia. "I thought that was just for the one night to get me off the floor. I would have thought that you would have wanted me to have my own bunk."

You buy the tickets, which drains most of your collective money, but not as much as the bunks would have, and sit down on one of the train benches, waiting for it to arrive. Between you all, you have about two bags, two guns, three knives, three axes, a bow, and three changes of clothes. You're clearly well-equipped for adventure.

Jack actually takes his wood axe head off the handle and discards the handle, putting the head in his bag. "The handle is too bulky, especially with my rifle already taking up space," he says. "I can always just carve a new one if I keep the head."

"I didn't know that you work wood," says Varaia, impressed. You restrain yourself from making a 'that's what she said' joke.

After a few minutes of idle conversation like this, you see the train approaching from the distances. As it arrives, you see what looks like a bizarre hybrid of an old steam train and a modern bullet train. It's made of steel and wood and has the general aesthetic of an old train. The engine, though, has no smoke stack, makes no chugging sound, and the nose is aerodynamically tapered.

..::||continued||::..

>>22687838
Your bardic knowledge kicks in. These trains are powered by bound fire elementals. The head for the engines is derived from magic rather than a furnace. It requires a higher initial investment, but is much more economical in the long term, and slightly less susceptible to breaking down.

You and your partners in adventure climb aboard, and are directed to your cabin by a dwarven conductor who looks leery of, well, all of you, though you personally least of the three. When you get there, it's, well, it's fucking small. The only floor space is about a meter in front of the foot of the bed. There's space beneath the bed to stash stuff, and shelves high enough above the bed that you have to stand on it to reach them.

Jack stashes his bag under the bed, leans his rifle in the corner, and puts his knife and hatchet on the floor near the rifle. Varaia puts her wild elf clothes on the shelves, her bow in the corner with the rifle, and her quiver and knife on the floor. She keeps her hatchet.

What do you do now that you're finally on the train out of Salvation?

>>22687491
Who feels strongest about it.

None of this leaning shit.

Polyamory is not something that you can ease everyone into, much to the chargrin of many of the questers, I'm sure,.

>>22687853
There's likely to be a dinner car, may as well set ourself up as a fixture there, start playing music. It gives us something to do.

In our spare time we can continue our Orkish lessons with Jack and see if Varaia wants to hear any stories, poems, or learn any languages.

>>22687853
ask what kind of stories they both like

what songs then work on converting something like that something close to them

>>22687853
See if they want to help you convert some of the classics (LOTR, WH40k, etc.) of your world to some thing that would work in theirs. This will let us explain some of the differeces between the fantasy of our world compared to the reality of theirs.

>>22687853

I got it!

Lets introduce them to tabletop games!

>>22687896
It's like a sleepover!

>>22687953
Yay!

We play dare or truth with them, we only need a bottle. Do we have alcohol somewhere?

Rolled 39

>>22687853
Loud intercourse with Jack while Varaia curls over on the other side of the bed muffling her ears with pillows, trying her best to ignore the bed rocking?

>>22688002
No, that's tonight. This is still the morning.

>>22688002
Bad anon! Abusing your power and such. I vote for trying to translate our stories with our companions help.

>>22688002
...No. At this point we need to develop our relationship with Jack and we want to turn this into a threesome.

>>22687925
This, we probably have the 3.5 player's handbook memorized. Either that or know it enough that we can make a rules-lite version.

>>22688061
You might want to turn it into a threesome. I prefer monogamy.

>>22687853
We ought to check out what the rest of the train is, and get a clear idea of where we can get supplies or earn money.

Hey, how is this set up with cabins? Do we have multiple floors to each train car?

>>22688061
yes we are a bard its a given we will sex anything eventually

>>22688090
Actually I was thinking a more sci-fi or 'modern' game to start with, like shadowrun or something. Vala really seemed to enjoy star wars.

Really, a modern d20 game would work amazingly well. We can just pull stuff from our own world.
>Reinforce our mind who we were.
>Amazing fictional world for Vala and jack.

You decide to check out the dining cart first, and your two companions go with you. The cart consists of lots of tightly-packed booths. Meals are on a weekly rotation - every Wednesday has the same breakfast, every Friday has the same dinner, and so on. Drinks can be served at any time of the day. Every passenger can get three meals per day for free as part of their fare; everything else needs to be paid for in cash.

You, Jack, and Varaia sit down to have an early lunch and start talking among yourselves.

"I'm really looking forward to get to the port," Jack says. "I set up a PO box before I went into hiding and sent letters to my friends and family saying to try to contact me there. It will be my first time checking it in years."

"I've never really spent time with Court fae," says Varaia. "I've lived my whole life in Arcadia. I'm looking forward to seeing the elven district of the city, to compare it to the stories I've heard."

"I haven't been in a proper church in years," says Jack. "I'm going to go to service the first Sunday after we arrive. You two can come too if you want."

"Thanks again for letting me sleep in your bed," says Varaia "It was a lot more comfortable than the floor, and a lot warmer than just a sheet."

The conversations go on like this for a while.

"I have a bunch of works from my world I want to convert over to this one," you say. "I was wondering if I could run them past you when they're done."

"Sure."

"Of course."

What now?

>>22688200
Do what this anon suggested >>22688194

Run a d20 modern campaign for them.

>>22688200
I get the experience that Varaia, despite being much older than Jack or us, has a lot more experience through stories and rumors than she does through actual experience. Though she has tons of skills and experience when it comes to the forest and stuff, she's really just as new to everything else as we are. She seems enchanted with getting to see the real world, and remember how much she loved the new experience that was Star Wars?

I think all of that makes her adorable, all the more so when she goes all sagely and mature because she really is hundreds of years older.

>>22688200
Find out if they have condoms or a condom equivalent, when we go that final step with Jack we should do our best not to get pregnant.

>>22688200
Search for place to busk.