File: 1357624740919.jpg-(56 KB, 500x375, 398560_2100333247074_1807(...).jpg)

Tell her about the encounter with Avenger and inquire if she's ever had visionary dreams before

>>22463860
>>22463860
Damn, I'm at a loss for actions. I guess we could always press for important details and ask her if she knows about that man. (Let's not give names like Avenger, might tip her off. She's a smart cookie, that Sakura.)

Yeesh, are we low on readers at the moment, or is everyone waiting for the next action opportunity?

yeah, try to get more out of her before telling her it's a "vision"

Also, dammit boss. If I'd gone to bed 10 minutes earlier, I wouldn't have seen your tweet. Sleeeeeepyyyy

>>22463860
Beyond telling her to stay away from that guy if she meets him, I dunno what to do.

>>22464135
This. Get more information so we have a good basis to figure out how much we had ought to tell her.

>>22464112

Little from column A, little from column B, I think.

>>22464317

I'mma say we should probably see if she knows anything else, sure. But we should definitely reveal what we know about Avenger at the end. Trying to keep secrets from Sakura may lead to her going full Yandere. Which would be Bad.

>>22464499
We don't need to worry about a crazy Sakura. Her Crest Worm had no connection to the Grail, and that is pretty much the only thing that can corrupt her

"Is that everything?" I ask.

She nods. "I couldn't really tell what you were talking about. It was kinda distorted, like I was underwater or something." She looks away sheepishly. "Sorry."

"Don't be." I tell her. "I'm not sure if knowing more would do us any good or not. Besides, It could just be a dream."

".... But you don't think so." Not a question.

"It's weird enough to make me wonder." I hesitate. "Sakura, this might sound weird, but did that tattooed man look anything like me? build or stature wise?"

She hesitates, looking thoughtful. ".... Yes. He did actually. He looked.... If I had to guess, I'd say you were actually related. Not siblings, but a distant cousin maybe." she shakes her head. "But you don't really have any relatives, do you?"

"Not really." I tell her. "Well, Ilya, but I'm not really sure how much 'adopting' each other really counts." I look at her. "Sakura, the man you saw in your dream might be Avenger."

"The bad-guy running around?" I give her a nod. "Does that mean it was some kind of vision?" She hesitates. "Wait, if it was a vision, why were you two getting along?"

".... I have no idea." I respond, honestly. "It could be Avenger planted the idea to gain sympathy. It could be that it's a vision of what might be or could have been. It could be you're an optimist and went for a more cheerful interpretation of a civil antagonistic chat." I shrug. "Assuming it was a vision at all. From what I understand of it, prophecy can be... imprecise."

>>22464683

Sakura nods, thoughtful. "Huh. Is there any way to know if it's genuine?"

"See if it comes true?" I respond, shaking my head. "We left my comfortable depth when we stopped talking about swords, cooking, or fixing stuff. Rin might have a better idea though."

Sakura nods, and then gives me a weird look. "Sempai? When did you become a pessimist?"

"Somewhere between my fifth and sixth near death experience of the last week." I respond dryly, before realizing she's serious. "Sorry, I'm not really. Or trying not to be. Being tired and sore just brings out a little bit of crankiness, I guess."

She stares at me concerned, before leaning in and giving me a small kiss on the cheek. "Get some sleep, Sempai. Saving everyone's no good if you get yourself killed in the process."

I nod and she walks back to her room. I sigh deeply as she leaves sight. I still don't quite get why everyone's so convinced I'm trying to martyr myself.

[ ] Keep trying to fix the bike.
[ ] Go to sleep.
[ ] Go for a walk.

>thebesttimeofthedayhascome.jpg

>>22464690
[X] Keep trying to fix the bike.

The bike is important.

>>22464690

We're in a warzone here. We should probably rest while we can. Dunno when the next time we'll need to stay awake for thirty hours is gonna be.

>>22464690
Let's give trying to fix the bike one more shot, maybe? Otherwise, some sleep might be well-deserved.

How much sleep we got logged? A few hours?

>>22464690
[x] Keep trying to fix the bike.
Hoping this gets us some more Seibah time.

>>22464690
Go for a walk clear our head then show the bike whats what

I sigh, and rub my head. I suppose trying to read the bike again isn't the worst thing I could be doing right now. Sure my head hurts a bit from trying it last time, but now I think I know what I did wrong.

[DC15 Learning the hard way check]

>>22464690
>[ ] Go for a walk.

Walking around at night results in the best random encounters.

Rolled 18

>>22464873
VROOM VROOm

Rolled 1

>>22464873
Haha time for nat1.

Rolled 1

>>22464893
You....
You will die slowly.

Rolled 12

>>22464893
POR QUE

>>22464893
>>22464904
THE BIKE IS CURSED

Rolled 1

>>22464893
>>22464904
WE"RE ON FIRE

>>22464893
>>22464904
dicegod haet bike

>>22464885
>>22464893
>>22464904

Hooboy...

Rolled 4

>>22464904
>>22464893
I don't think it was meant to be.

File: 1357627628164.jpg-(108 KB, 800x218, wat bird.jpg)

Rolled 13

>>22464893
>>22464904
>>22464916

>>22464893
>>22464904
What Have You Done!

This would be funny if AC-Guy was into fake HUEHUEHUE endings.

>>22464893
>>22464904
>>22464916
hahaha
what

Oh god. We're about to run out of HP and lose an arm or something, aren't we?

Rolled 11

>>22464873
I vote saving the bike for the finale.

Oh dear god fucking DAMMIT.

File: 1357627806042.jpg-(170 KB, 640x480, 1291534561789.jpg)

Should have just gone for a damn walk!

Bike is either grail tainted, or our track record with vehicles is just not good. (Recall when we tried to jack a car when Berserker was around.)

Captcha: sufficient haetsas

Someone shoop up a "this motorcycle is an eyesore" image, please.

Rolled 4

>>22464893
>>22464904
>>22464916
guys i think we got HUEHUE'D to death.
wonder if papa-N is running around manipulating this shit to fail.

File: 1357628069708.gif-(554 KB, 150x150, 1350531537832.gif)

>>22464893
>>22464904
>>22464916
Well AC-Guy looks like you can work on that sequel right away after all

>>22464985

We would have tripped over a branch and sworded ourselves. Then KinKaiser would have shown up, thought we were the evil duplicate, and Ea'd us. Then Altrouge would show up and suck all of our blood out of whatever pulpy mass remained. Probably with a straw.

I rub my head, failing to even get the trace going. I grab part of the bike and lift it, moving it over to try and get a better look at the damaged parts.

The bike IS cleanly cut in half, but it looks like there's only a handful of actual supports that were ruined. Everything else is salvageable.

Huh, That's nice. The panels need to be replaced, but they aren't really NEEDED as much for the bike to GO.

I stick my hand in something wet, and realize it's on my leg. Huh? I try and get a better view of the liquid, but the light isn't working out for me.

I spot one of Dad's old cigarette lighter's nearby. It's only after I light it do I realize that the only liquids coming out of a bike would be flammable.

Of course, by then I'm already on fire.

FUCKING.

TYPICAL.

[DC15 OHGODIMONFIRE check]

Rolled 2

>>22465089
Stop, drop, and roll!

Rolled 3

>>22465089
What makes ME a good demoman?
If I was a BAD demoman I wouldn't be here ta tell ya about it!

Rolled 5

>>22465089
fuck

Rolled 5

>>22465089
Death by flammable bike...

Rolled 11

>>22465089
HUEHUEHEUHUEHUE

Rolled 1

>>22465089
We're on fire. We should stop being on fire.

Rolled 8

>>22465089
Dying by self-immolation.
We Dark Heresy now!

File: 1357628326739.jpg-(Spoiler Image, 164 KB, 1000x591)

>>22465099
>>22465101
>>22465107
oh god why

Rolled 9

>>22465118
and now we are more on fire, thanks asshat.

DAAAAMN YOU KINKAISER! YOU PUT A CURSE ON YOUR BIKE!

LANCER!

WATER RUNE! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WATER RUNE!

Rolled 11

>>22465089
Stop and panic!

C-c-can we stop for the night? Please?

What the hell is with these rolls tonight?

We're going to die and fucking end our quest being a dumbass and setting ourselves on fire and burning to death. It seems our rolls tonight are fucking doomed to failing chronically. We've rolled more nat 1s that double-digit rolls, guys.

Flashback to Fuyuki fire sequence.

Maybe we'll get some info we buried into our mind due to trauma out of this.

>>22465099
>>22465101
>>22465107
I have no reaction images and I must hue.

Truly, this is our most embarrassing injury yet. We obviously should not screw around with motor vehicles.

File: 1357628540593.jpg-(129 KB, 597x609, EmiyaFuckedUp.jpg)

>>22465099
>>22465101
>>22465107

File: 1357628591611.jpg-(89 KB, 640x512, 1344282988637.jpg)

in the past 18 rolls we have gotten one that was high enough to pass a check

Rolled 19

HUEHUEHUE time?
HUEHUEHUE time!

>>22465215
You ASSHOLE!
Only the first three count!
You just wasted a 19!

>>22465215

You motherfucker. Where were you five minutes ago?

Shirou has found: Arsonphobia!

Rolled 20

>>22465221
>>22465222
watching russian strike witches and glorious soviet comradery.

>>22465252
YOU FUCKING ASS. THIS HAS GONE FROM UNFORTUNATE TO COMICAL.

"Why." I say, shocking myself with my calm tone.

I kick the already loose gastank off the bike so there's only a dabble burning itself out on the ground.

Well, at least my house won't burn down. I chuckle at the thought. I'm on fucking fire.

I step into the yard, knowing full well that there's nothing I can put myself out with in the shed. I see Lancer standing there, enjoying the cool night air.

Or he was anyway. In the back of my mind I have the bizarre regret of not having a camera to capture that face forever. I can only hope it's just going to get burned into my memory.

Heh. Burned.

"Kid?" Lancer asks, startled.

"Hey. Mind doing me a favor?" I ask, gesturing to the flames wreathing my body.

He hesitates, but then he's in and out of the house with a broom beating me in an attempt to put out the fire.

[DC15 Pink Floyd composure check]

File: 1357628831342.jpg-(30 KB, 367x362, 1342838893698.jpg)

>>22465252
i dont even what

Rolled 12

>>22465261
I swear to god...

Rolled 6

>>22465261
COMPOSURE!

>>22465252
>>22465261

TEN FUCKING SECONDS EARLY.

TEN.

FUCKING.

SECONDS.

Rolled 11

>>22465261
Here we go

Rolled 16

>>22465261
here we go

Rolled 8

>>22465261
do i give you a good roll or not?

Rolled 18

>>22465252
TURN OFF YOUR FUCKING DICE!
And it's spelled camaraderie.
>>22465261
There is no pain
You are receding.

Rolled 7

>>22465261
FUCKING ASS HELL CUNTSHITTING RAPISTS!

cursing worked last time

Rolled 17

>>22465276
God dammit.
>>22465284
GOD DAMMIT.
>>22465292
GOD. DAMMIT.
>>22465294
G.O.D._D.A.M.M.I.T.

I would be dismayed by this, but I am laughing way too fucking hard right now.

File: 1357629040462.png-(1.35 MB, 780x1790, At First, I Was Like - AL(...).png)

>see Fate/Stay Again
Oh. Sweet. I didn't need to sleep anyway.
>Bullheading our way through the bike, eh?
Alrighty. I kinda want to see that thing fixed anyway.
>2 natural 1's
Uh. Okay. Shit. That sucks.
>ohlookiamonfire.jpg
Damn. Better put that out real qui-
>2, 3, 5, 5
Fuck this. I'm going to sleep & pretending this was some sort of hallucination.

Rolled 20

>>22465320
agreed i found it funny i got alot of people pissed off by wasting the only good rolls in the thread.

>>22465261
Three misses directly after two crits and right before one success.

I guess with MetaQuest over we inherited all of the RNG's hate.

Is it Taiga Dojo time yet?

>>22465332

I WILL CUT YOU.

File: 1357629111922.jpg-(68 KB, 292x302, Why Would You Do That.jpg)

>>22465332
TURN IT OFF ALREADY!!!!

File: 1357629134080.jpg-(81 KB, 403x401, clip (2012-06-29 at 04.14.27).jpg)

Rolled 11

>>22465332
SPEAKING OF WASTING GOOD ROLLS.

>>22465348
fine.

>>22465352
Isn't it sad, Sacchin?

File: 1357629184382.jpg-(59 KB, 1280x720, poor_bastards.jpg)

I think this might be it for poor Emiya

Today is not a good day to be shirou

>Playing Far Cry in the background.

>Discover that I've reached the 'escape from burning building' level.

>I Physically can't stop laughing.

>Like Holy shit. You guys botched everything and then I got to see Vaas basically say 'have fun burning to death, Asshole'.

>Sorry, I need just a second to myself to get it out of my system, since this is actually getting serious.

File: 1357629225656.png-(4 KB, 207x160, 1291105406637.png)

We've survived hand to hand combat with like four different Servants, and now we're dying to self-immolation.

Shirou, master of the impossible!

File: 1357629254827.jpg-(93 KB, 500x340, 1295330359639.jpg)

Rolled 16

>mfw this series of events

>>22465261
First three really is kind of an overly small number ya know? Five's much better.

At least this is proving pretty amusing.

Rolled 6

>>22465376
Please dear lord have mercy on us. This is beyond hysterical right now.

>>22465376
>you are all now reading AC-Guy's meta posts in Vaas' voice

>>22465376

We haven't rolled any 1s for the composure check yet! That helps, right?

... Right?

ok i'm gonna say thats hilarious.
we roll like crap, i walk in, waste literally every good roll and everyone is dying laughing while burning to death.
i'm going to say this is a good day.

>>22465393
Yeah, we haven't failed so badly that something outlandish will happen, just a predictable self-immolation. Nothing crazy. We can work with this. We're Shirou.

>>22465412

Just, y'know. Stick around and do a roll right after the next AC-Guy post, would you?

>>22465425
the question is WILL we live through AC-guy's next post?

>>22465391

>Read that.

>Check AC-Guy's Twitter feed.

Jesus Christ, this is hilarious.

File: 1357629453985.png-(123 KB, 800x800, Unlimited Blade Works.png)

Maybe we can get fire magic out of our tragic loss of our leg.

Nah, who am I kidding, we're just boned.

Rolled 19

seeing if it really is just things screwing around with me doing awesome or if its just RNG being dicks again when i was anon.

>>22465435

I think we're into "Serious Consequences" HP at this point. It was previously mentioned that Shirou losing his arm in Heaven's Feel was an example of a Serious Consequence.

>>22465467

So much haet

ok sounds like i have that set up, seems like i'm just lucky today.

I feel the slap of the broom on my face, and I shove my way out of the closet. It hits me again as I run away. I need to get out of the house before it burns down.

The smoke stings my eyes, and the heat's unbearable.

I can't find my parents.

I make it almost to the entrance when the beam hits my back. I can't feel my legs as I hit the ground.

I feel something grabbing me, and I try to wave it off. It's wrong. I don't want to die, but I don't want to live like that.

Somehow I know that it won't be me.

Something pulls me up through the rubble, and I feel a blur of motion.

A blond haired girl? Who-

[DC15 Flashback escape check]

Rolled 4

>>22465518
But flashbacks are good for us.

Rolled 3

>>22465518

DICE!

Rolled 7

>>22465518
COME OOOON

Rolled 1

>>22465518

But flashbacks are good?

I want to fail.

Rolled 1

>>22465518
Out of the fire and into...

Rolled 13

>>22465518
THE TRAIN WRECK NEVER ENDS!

Rolled 17

>>22465527
>>22465535
>>22465540
>>22465542
SO YOU WISH IT, AND SO IT SHALL BE.

Rolled 2

>>22465527
>>22465535
>>22465540
>>22465542
>>22465545

Today has been a whole load of terrible.

I cannot stop laughing.

Rolled 8

>>22465518
rollan

>>22465542
>>22465527
Not when they cause us to hallucinate and prevent people from saving us.

Oh look....

File: 1357629927511.jpg-(11 KB, 251x251, 1344321758605.jpg)

>>22465542
>>22465545
>>22465527
>>22465535
>>22465540
OMG guys whyyyy

And so Shirou died the way he was probably born if he really is a demon.

In a fire.

Rolled 16, 3, 7, 18, 5, 11, 11, 9, 9, 7 = 96

What the fuck dice.

File: 1357630060006.jpg-(98 KB, 600x450, hurr_durr.jpg)

THE BIKE WAS CURSED!

SUCH IS OUR PUNISHMENT FOR MEDDLING IN POWERS BEYOND OUR CONTROL!

Rolled 13

>>22465527
>>22465535
>>22465540
>>22465542
>>22465545
well guys its been fun, GG

File: 1357630157218.gif-(1.01 MB, 172x162, 1351968803731.gif)

Rolled 20

I want to stop laughing but this is all so stupid I can't. I really want to know what everyone else's reaction was.

So, Ac-Guy, when does Burnt-to-a-Crisp Quest start?

And that was the story of how Shirou first lost his soul.

Welp, that's one mystery down...

>>22465598
I am fucking stunned

>>22465598
>Rolled 20

Stop the pain...
Stop
MAKE IT STOP!

I hit water. I let out a surprised yelp when it hits me, and I suddenly remember where I am. As I do, I look up and see Lancer throwing himself into the tub on top of me to put out his own flames, while a concerned Saber watches horrified.

I fail to catch my breath, and Lancer shove me under on empty lungs.

The absurdity of my oncoming demise compared to what I've been what I've already survived is palpable. It's like drowning in the hot-tub of a boat in the middle of the ocean.

Somehow, dieing in such a comical way would seem appropriate if Saber wasn't watching it happen. Somehow, knowing she's there makes me NOT want to die such a stupid death.

[DC10 NOPE Check]

>>22465598

Katawa Shirou?

Rolled 20

>>22465598
You are such a bastard, you know that?

This thread better get a +40 on suptg.

Okay. I think at this point we should officially just veto any further suggestions to attempt to fix the bike.

Rolled 3

>>22465620

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

>>22465598
you sir are hilarious
i'm standing right now clapping.

Rolled 15

>>22465620

NOPE

Rolled 13

>>22465620
TIME TO NOPE LIKE THE FIST OF THE NOPE STAR!

Rolled 9

>>22465620
>DC10
>surely they can't fail THIS
CHALLENGE
FUCKING
ACCEPTED

Rolled 20

>>22465620
This is the part where we stop fucking up, right guys?

>>22465623
and everything finally stops.
bout damn time.

Rolled 14

>>22465620
If this fails I'll play a Halfling team in my Blood Bowl league for three seasons, i swear to god.

File: 1357630387570.jpg-(60 KB, 750x600, 1333156100954.jpg)

>>22465598
somehow im still okay with this, its not like were real people anyways so we just respawn back on whatever hell dimension we spawned in right

>>22465624

... Yes.

>>22465623
PLEASE COUNT IT GOD DAMMIT.

>>22465624
I suggest we get Rin to destroy the bike completely.

>>22465671

Also a good suggestion. Yes. Let's do that.

File: 1357630502048.jpg-(6 KB, 168x299, images.jpg)

>>22465623

>>22465620
and now we are officially KS faggots and alternate reality hanako.
today was productive.

Rolled 3

>>22465671
Nah, I think we know what's wrong now. Let's try and fix it again.

File: 1357630547142.jpg-(Spoiler Image, 205 KB, 640x480)

>>22465623
>>22465642
two 20's and neither of them will count for this oh god my sides

>>22465691

I STAND VINDICATED.

No more bike.

>>22465698
why doesn't the first one count?
its after the post so it counts.

File: 1357630619228.jpg-(314 KB, 700x700, f4589ac965252a43fc374171b(...).jpg)

>>22465690
So we look like this, except instead of tattoos its burn scars?

>>22465719
INB4 the burn scars come out exactly like Avenger's tats.

>>22465719
wouldn't suprise me at this point.

File: 1357630694736.gif-(1.47 MB, 400x228, 1294243317197.gif)

>>22465623
Image related.
>>22465628
Thank you. I'm honored. Ironically enough I was the guy to get the first nat 20 when we "fought" Archer.

What's supremely amusing is that this all happened immediately after Sakura gave him a kiss on the cheek. She's going to think it's all her fault.

>>22465716
normal AC-Guy only counts the dice rolls that are linked to his post so he knows they arnt just people fucking around, maybe he will be a merciful master but I doubt that

>>22465719
this wouldn't surprise me at this point

>>22465733
Sakura + Bike = double the curse

Rolled 19

>>22465733

DOOMBITCH

>>22465760
OH GOD STOP ROLLING

WE NEED THOSE HIGH NUMBERS

Now is Shirou more terrified of fire? or of water for potentially drowning.

"Shirou would you like to go camping?" *whimpers of pain*

>>22465831
Nah, that's just part of the tempering process.

File: 1357631227656.jpg-(57 KB, 480x807, Flaming Train.jpg)

Rolled 2

>>22465767
THE PAIN TRAIN KEEPS A-ROLLIN'!

>>22465838
So now Shirou really is made of sword.

Forged in fire, hammered into shape (with a broom) and doused in water.

>>22465867
But has he been folded over a million times?

>>22465867
shirou swords so hard that he turns into a sword.

>>22465867
mother of god

>>22465877
Not yet. thats what the harem is for

Rolled 9

>>22465877

But he is not being made into silly eastern sword.

I reinforce my muscles, and PUSH Lancer off of me, greedily getting a gulp of air. He hits the side of the tub, but is relatively unharmed. saber snaps out of her confusion and rushes to my side. "Shirou?! Are you alright?"

"Yes. I am now." I respond, looking around. Saber gives me a concerned look, and glances at Lancer. As she confirms that he'll live, I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror. The side saber couldn't see. My Eyebrow's gone, and I can see spots of bone on the right side of my face. My eye's a charred goopey mess. I see the bathwater tainted with a small amount of blood pouring out from under the charred flesh. The pain begins to catch up with me, and I shake, turning back to Saber. I've seen victims like this before. People don't survive those kinds of wounds.

Saber looks at me full on and... smiles?

"I'm glad you're alright." She says with a relieved sigh, giving me a light hug as Lancer looks me over.

"How the hell did you manage to set yourself on fire and not get hurt?" He asks incredulously.

I see myself reflected in the tiles over Saber's shoulder. I look a little pale, but fine. I try to reconcile how I could be fine and maimed at the same time, when I realize the last thought I had was how freaked out she would be to see me like that.

>>22465926

As the realization kicks in, I push past Saber and vomit into the sink, while the two of them try and support me.

I realize I'm more or less completely naked as Lancer throws a towel over me. Finally beginning to recover, I stand up and take care to cover myself.

[ ] Sorry about that.
[ ] That fucking bike-
[ ] .... Let's not speak of this. Ever again.

>>22465926
>>22465936

>The fuck happened to my name?

Rolled 3

>>22465936
>[ ] That fucking bike-

>>22465936
[x] THAT FUCKING BIKE
There seems to be a damn good reason why the King of Heroes got rid of it.

Its an Artifact of Doom.

>>22465936
[X] .... Let's not speak of this. Ever again.

>>22465936
[X] Sorry about that.

"I didn't mean to wake everyone up. Go back to bed, I'm fine, I think I know what's wrong with the bike now. It's cursed, but I can fix it."

>>22465936
>[ ] That fucking bike-

>>22465953

NO.

Hey guy's how's the quest going?

>Shirou fails to fix a bike with magic
>Shirou fails to fix a bike with his hands
>Now Shirou's on fire
>Flashback starts
>Shirou's on fire there too
>The fire burns almost as hot as our failures.
>I can't breathe I'm laughing so hard

Thank you /tg/ dice this is amazing.

>>22465936
[x] That FUCKING bike...

>>22465936
>[ ] That fucking bike-

Its cursed! CURSED I TELL YOU!

>>22465936
>My eye's a charred goopey mess

Heh... An eyesore...

>[x] That fucking bike-

Rolled 15

>>22465952

Nah we need Sakura to hear of this.

So that we can comfort her when she start imagining its her fault.

IT IS

>>22465926
>>22465936
wait wait wait, did we literally instaheal?
da fuck?

>>22465953
If we can't defeat a goddamn bike, how can we be a hero? Seriously.
[X] That fucking bike-

>>22465946
>>22465947
>>22465955
>>22465971
>>22465966

>nb4 'that bike' is the 'fix it harder' option.

>>22465972
Fuck it, we're buying Sakura a red wig, boots, a scarf, and a bikini with a flame pattern, because she has officially gone full Doombitch.

>>22465936
[ ] That fucking bike-

File: 1357631938421.jpg-(58 KB, 640x480, 1353677038712.jpg)

>>22465926
Clearly Bikes are for people with souls

>>22465974
And people don't believe me when I say Tainted Ideals all over this shit.

Shirou's a lesser grail, or something. He wished himself back to health.

>>22465979
LET'S DO IT.

>>22465974

1) Avalon. 2) We were JUST having a flashback about watching hundreds of people messily burn to death in agony.

Rolled 4

[x] .... Let's not speak of this. Ever again.

>>22465974
Maybe Avenger still needs us?

>[ ] That fucking bike-
This bike. This bike. This bike. This bike. This bike. This bike. This bike. This bike. This bike. This bike. This bike. This bike. This bike. This bike. This bike. This bike. This bike. This bike. This bike. This bike. This bike. This bike. This bike. This bike. This bike. This bike.

>Oh cool, fate/stay again before I go to work, I wonder what's happened.
>bike
>fire
>more fire
>drowning

What the fuck thread.

File: 1357632029400.jpg-(86 KB, 640x427, Oh.jpg)

This basiclly sums up our failures right now

>>22465993
>1) Avalon.

Hehe. Nope. We haven't had a contract with Saber for a while (which is what allows Avalon to heal us so fast), and we've kept on mega-healing. We're either a lesser Grail or an inhuman monster created from Kiritsugu's pain and sadness at being unable to save anyone. Maybe both.

>>22466020
Well we've been in very close proximity with Saber for a while. IIRC the contract makes it work over long distances, right?

>As the realization kicks in, I push past Saber and vomit into the sink

Booooss, I'm being dense. What just happened here?

>>22466056
He just realized that he was more worried over Saber being upset than the fact that HIS FACE WAS HALF MELTED OFF

Rolled 13

>>22466056

The realisation that that burnt mess was his own face.

Ever smelt a burning body? It ain't pretty

>>22466081
and THATS when you know, the girls may have something on the martyr complex they keep claiming we have.

File: 1357632499688.jpg-(79 KB, 720x479, Magic.jpg)

>>22466056
Shirou realized that he'd been horribly maimed and rushed to empty his stomach in a mix of horror and pain. It also served as a distraction to let Shirou heal back up to full before his friends noticed.

From a narrative standpoint it served much the same purpose, a distraction to get around showing the healing.

>>22466096
>Saber looks at me full on and... smiles?
He was already healed by this line.

>>22466091
>It ain't pretty
Bullshit. Smells like a good hog roast.

No it doesn't. It smells ALMOST like a hog roast, but not quite. The not quite is what makes it horrible. I joke so I don't break down completely. Paramedics have fucked up morbid senses of humor. You have to, to keep doing this job. Polite sage because /tg/ ain't my blog and doesn't care about my job.

>>22466081
>>22466091
>>22466093
>>22466096

There's also the fact that Shirou may have been magically restored to health not by a desire to live, but by panicking over Saber finding out he was hurt.

>>22466118
>>22466115
True, but I read it as Shirou feeling phantom pain from the injuries, and seeing the injuries that he SHOULD have received if his healing weren't augmented. Sorry, should have clearer.

Rolled 1

>>22466117

I find it horrifying as it triggers the 'smells good' reflex. Then the brain catches up.

>>22466136
Exactly.

>>22466136
You nearly gave me a heart attack.

I'd say turn the dice off, but you may have just saved us further embarrassment.

>>22466117
>>22466136
I think the real reason the Bible forbids the eating of pork if how similar it tastes to a rare delicacy--long pork.

Makes a lot more sense as an anti-cannibalism measure than an arbitrary dietary one. Could be land use and waste management though, pigs eat a lot...

>>22466020
A bit blurry on Tsukihime lore here, but didn't Ciel have that condition where she kept regenerating unless there's this other person (Dead Apostle?) that should die?

Maybe Shirou has this, but I need someone with better knowledge of the Nasuverse to make the connection stick.

>>22466180
Actually, it's "unclean" because of the fact we all know about uncooked pork.

Rolled 7

>>22466180

Actually no.

I believe it was a sanitation issue.

Improperly cooked pork can kill and what better way to stop folks from dying so then forbidding it?

>>22466189
Ciel couldn't die unless Roa did, because she was Roa's previous host.
That's why my favorite Tsukihime Bad End is the one where she and Shiki kill each other. Sure it's sad, but at the same time, it feels like a real ending, albeit a depressing one, in that she was free.

I stare in mirror for a second, collecting my thoughts.

Saber pats me on the back. "Are you alright Shirou?"

I nod, but my mind is elsewhere at the moment.

Lancer disposes of the burnt clothing and offers to clean up, and Saber tells me that she won't tell anyone what happened when I ask.

I go to my room and change into my pajamas, fully intending to get the sleep I told Sakura I would get.

I only last about ten minutes before I'm back in the shed, staring at the place where I almost died.

I stare at the bike, wondering if there's a curse or if I'm just really bad with vehicles. It's true that I've never spent that much time with them, but there's no reason to be afraid or something.

Reflecting back over my fight with Berserker and my attempts to fix the bike, I begin to realize my mistake.

Swords are easy for me to analyze and trace, because something about me resonates with the concept of 'sword'. I can do Lances as well, with only slightly more difficulty. I've never tried, but I feel a cold certainty that I could also manage axes, armor, shields, flails.... But the further it gets from 'sword' they harder it would be.

Why should an engine be easy to work with? Engines are complex and temperamental. They're so far removed from 'sword' they aren't even on the same map.

I close my eyes, and brush the surface of the bike, letting my eyes fade and truly FEELING it.

>Give me two d20 please.

>Don't worry, you can't actually 'fail' this one.

>>22466180
The reasoning I've heard is that pork can be a breeding ground for parasites that can jump to humans and tapeworms.

They're also pretty omnivorous so they'd eat a lot of disgusting things and require an environment that is hard to maintain in the places of origin of Judaism.

Rolled 8, 6 = 14

>>22466235

THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE

Rolled 19, 7 = 26

>>22466235
Rollin

Rolled 20, 9 = 29

>>22466235
Why don't we just make a bike out of Swords?

Rolled 13, 6 = 19

>>22466235
oh gog

>>22466261
>>22466252
>19
>20
>None of the second rolls above 10
This bodes well

Rolled 18, 9 = 27

>>22466235
>can't 'fail'
Challenge accepted.

File: 1357633404077.jpg-(49 KB, 1024x768, Mazda RX7 Type-R(FD3S) (1(...).jpg)

>>22466235
The bike's cool and all, but what we really need is a car. Nowhere to stow our gear on a bike. If I might make a suggestion for the consideration of the fine folks in this thread...

>>22466268
On the upside, it's still higher than the median, so if it's the sum of two numbers and not the dice individually we're golden.

...It probably isn't.

Rolled 15, 17 = 32

>>22466235
I want to set the town on fire.

Rolled 4, 2 = 6

>>22466261
We should make a suit of armor out of tiny, interlocking swords. Our swordmail will be the strongest!

>>22466299
I know how we could get around the chair restriction on Tracing, we make it out of swords. We make everything out of swords.

>>22466327
So what, you really wanna taunt Shiki by making the Iron Throne? Because that can't POSSIBLY go wrong!

>>22466336
Absolutely nothing could possibly go wrong. We'll make everything out of swords, our furniture, our plumbing, our silverware will all oddly fork or spoon shaped swords, our motorcycle will be made out of swords, our bed will be made out of very soft and plush swords.

We shall be the true Lord of Blades.

Rolled 9, 14 = 23

>>22466327
>Sword Throne
We've already had that come up.

Rolled 19, 4 = 23

We're better off just running everywhere if messing with cars is going to set us on fire.

>>22466292
>FD3S
Good choice.
Can we make it out of swords?

>>22466376
>everything ever made of swords
i'm completely and utterly ok with this.

Rolled 16, 9 = 25

>>22466235
I can't help but be reminded of the giant spike being deployed on the motorcycle in that Spawn movie. I think that, sadly, we're going to have to give up on the Shiroucycle.

>>22466376
>nothing could possibly go wrong
Until Shiki blows up our swordchair, sending swords flying all over the room and impaling us.

>>22466441
>give up on the Shiroucycle
NEVER!
WE MUST ALSO DEVELOP SHARK REPELLANT SHIROUSPRAY!

Rolled 6, 10 = 16

>>22466441
Not if we somehow tie the concept of motorcycle to blades.

Rolled 4, 16 = 20

>>22466449
And the Shiroucopter. Where talking about the chopper's blades is a literal thing.

Rolled 13, 5 = 18

>>22466452

BLADE TIRES.

This baby can go vertical.

Rolled 5, 3 = 8

>>22466471
Arachnocycle?

I sit there, staring at the bike when a thought occurs to me. I wonder if the bow I have means anything. I call it easily, and hold it for a moment. As I do so, I realize that despite my preference, Bows aren't always practical.

I consider some of Dad's guns in the corner, thinking about grabbing something concealable. Perhaps I wouldn't be as good a shot with them, but it wouldn't hurt to carry something concealable as a backup weapon. I mean, if one arm was pinned, this bow would be useless.

As I have the thought, I look down at the pistol in my hand.

And then I slap myself in the face for being stupid.

It's a 'conceptual weapon'. It's a weapon connected to the wielder's thoughts. I assumed it was something like 'a bow that can shoot anything' when it's actually 'something that can make a perfect shot'. It's not a BOW it's a thing that can fire without issue any sort of ammo. I could probably let it form 'bullets' and 'arrows' out of my mana.

So as long as I have the crest and I'm alive, I have a reliable magic weapon. I feel ashamed of myself briefly for not realizing Archer probably thought all this out when he made the damn thing. I let it slip from my mind as I turn to start working on the bike.

I put almost an hour's effort into the bike when I finally feel the adrenalin and the shock from the night's events wearing off and I head to sleep.

>>22466466
Also the Shiroumobile as proposed by >>22466292

>>22466482

When I wake up and get dressed, I realize that I'm the only one up this early.

[ ] Experiment with 'bow'.
[ ] Work on bike.
[ ] Other.

>>22466489
>[ ] Work on bike.
We WILL conquer it.
And then we'll shove it right back in KinKaiser's face when we eventually fight him. We STOLE his noble steed!

>>22466489

Start preparing breakfast.

If they're all asleep, they can't chase us out of OUR kitchen.

Rolled 11, 9 = 20

>>22466489
[X] Work on the bike.

We're not done with you yet.

>>22466489

[ ] THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE

>>22466489
Make breakfast, this is our kitchen.

>>22466505
>>22466512
>>22466514

Wrong.

>>22466489

Take back the kitchen. THIS IS THE OPPORTUNITY WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR!

>>22466510

Oh wait.

THIS.

OCCUPY KITCHEN

Am >>22466514

Changing my vote

>>22466489
work on that damn bike, we will conquer it!

>>22466489
Hmmmm, yes.
I'm >>22466505 and I'm changing to RECONQUER THE KITCHEN!
We can work on the bike after breakfast.

>>22466489
Check how our face is healing.

Then breakfast.

>>22466489
I realize the bike has thwarted us this session, but the bow and the magic crest related to it are *far* more important than the fucking bike.

>>22466489
[x] Experiment with 'bow'.

Come on now. The 'bow' can't set us on fire. Who am I kidding?

>>22466568
>weapon
>more important than a bitchin' ride
What kind of a man are you?

>>22466489
[X] Work on bike.
KING OF MOTORCYCLES DO YOU HAVE ENOUGH GAS?!

>>22466573

The ultimate kicker would be shirou setting the kitchen on fire.

>>22466583
>MAGICAL CREST
>Cool bike

MAGICAL FUCKING CREST YOU IDIOT.

>>22466589
Shirou has sworded so hard he has not only become a sword, he has become a flaming sword.

NO.

KITCHEN.

We will be exiled from it again if we wait until dinner!

>>22466589

AC-Guy.

Hey AC-Guy.

Make making breakfast rollable.

Just to see how hard we set the place on fire.

I am the chef of my kitchen.

>>22466589
I'm sure our cooking modifier is high enough that we can't fail that badly

>>22466568
>>22466583
>>22466600
>>22466607
Obviously the solution here is to sword out a sword-Shirou that can cook while the sword-but-not-really-a-sword-Shirou fiddles with the 'bow'.

>>22466632
>implying the is Brothel Quest

>>22466637
But then the quasi sword Shirou is going to end up cutting everything he touches.

>>22466637
Brilliant.