I use robots for this. Anyway, if everyone's a gorilla no-one will be.

"Really? You're a gorilla? Alright, fine. Roll for seduction. Well, no surprises there; she aint no Jane Goodall."

But they'd be so stupid they wouldn't understand what they're doing, what anything means. They are animals. Animals. Animals. Animals.

Hacker?
Thief?
Diplomat?

>>22421172
That's racist.

>>22421180
>Hacker?
Gorilla with an axe.
>Thief?
Gorilla with an axe.
>Diplomat?
Gorilla with an axe.

File: 1357439196963.jpg-(150 KB, 1000x694, out_of_here.jpg)

>>22421172
>Magic
They're MAGIC GORILLAS.

Hence this entire thread is pointless; a real gorilla can't do any of those things. If you do find something a gorilla can't do (HINT: IT'S REAL EASY), he'll just say a gorilla can do it.

File: 1357439479247.jpg-(26 KB, 232x300, gorilla-middle-finger-232x300.jpg)

>>22421202
You're no fun at all.

Okay, have fun. I'm just going out here, onto the plains, with absolutely no trees or readily available food just waiting to be picked, to start a farm.

File: 1357439700578.jpg-(48 KB, 201x205, robotgorillaman.jpg)

>>22421143
Gorillas are even better at being robots.

>>22421269
The Gorilla Farm Collective's enthusiastic workforce and competitive business practices mean they put better produce out there for cheaper. At the end of the second fiscal year, your farm is failing. Gorilla dominance is everywhere.

What do you do?

File: 1357439776169.jpg-(151 KB, 800x993, awell_read_gorilla___wayf(...).jpg)

I'm going to have to agree with OP. Even the most mundane of librarians is improved with the addition of a monocle.

I actually had an idea for a piece of a fantasy setting where an African-Roman empire rings the coast surrounding an impenetrable jungle, wherein lurks a pseudo-society of intelligent apes ca. ending of Rise of Planet of the Apes.

>>22421180
He's not that kind of theif

>>22421308
Leave the stupidest universe in existence, where it seems the only thing that ever occurs is "YEAH BUT GORILLAS CAN DO IT BETTER!"

There comes a time where somthing stops being fun and starts being just stupid. This thread has passed that line.

Intricate handiwork like clockwork

>>22421340
You doom mankind to a future oppressed by their Gorilla overlords. For a brief second you were suspended in a vast web of potential, a realization of your place and an opposition to the Gorilla system. You had guns. You had ample supplies of mechanical devices and fertilizer. You had willing, able farmhands who were protecting their families and livelihoods.

You gave up. The gorilla have won. Centuries from now, your descendants will exist only in zoos.

File: 1357439965857.png-(666 KB, 600x809, 1339603945651.png)

What about a crossdressing half-fae catboy maid?

>>22421370
Gorilla improves this concept immensely.

>>22421379
By killing them.

>>22421369
So fucking what? I'm out of there. Even if I rose up, I'm sure the only response would be the gorillaz instantly smacking me down because they're fucking gorillas.

>>22421143
Only Humans and Newmen can use spells. CASTs cannot.

>>22421385
No, half-fae gorilla catboy maid is legitimately a concept I would be glad to have in my games.

>>22421399
Better to fight for something than live for nothing. Now King Kong-il's reign of tyranny will never end.

>>22421417
Good for him. Have fun living in chimp world. I'm over in the other universe, with the blackjack and hookers.

Mandrills>Gorillas

deal

This thread was actually a little disappointing.

>>22421429
Mandrills are awful. Geladas are pretty cool though.

>>22421436
People apparently get offended if you mention gorillas beating them, and are unwilling to challenge gorillas. Based on this thread, sentient gorillas could easily conquer the world.

>>22421356
Clearly Gorillas have yet to refute mankind's excellency on intricate clockwork

>>22421428
Plot twist: The hookers are secretly gorillas.

>>22421439
Baboons in general are pretty cool.

Long distance running, humans completely smoke gorillas at running very long distances.

>>22421105
>Got a wizard? Try a Gorilla wizard, because a 500-lbs ape in a robe can still fuck up your shit, with his bare fists, if you resist the spells.

Muscle wizard is best wizard

>>22421461
I don't think either of those is technically a baboon?

>>22421455
>sleep around, take drugs, gamble in the new world
>almost die in a gang related accident
>score big in a casino
>wake up, use the money to build a stable life for yourself
>a job you enjoy, you meet a woman you love
>move to a nice place that reminds you of happy memories for your childhood, settle down
>a beautiful wedding ceremony, many happy friends
>she's pregnant a few months later
>an uncomplicated birth
>but
>the nurse pauses
>she won't turn around
>you pull her forward, look at what's in her arms
>a chimpanzee

>>22421455
Too bad for them. Hooker and Blackjack-iverse lacks the magic fucker what makes the gorillaz smart. They are dumb apes once again.

Of course they're dumb apes in drag, so I'm not sure where it leaves me.

File: 1357440682289.jpg-(11 KB, 259x194, laughing-gorilla.jpg)

>>22421514
You're the guy that just paid to fuck a gorilla.

>>22421451
if your best argument is "watchmaking", yeah, the gorillas have already won.

>>22421543
>We can beat them! They have no idea what time it is!
For Gorillas, it's always time to crush humanity.

The Journeys of the Catechist, by Alan Dean Foster.

Already been done.

>>22421543
Oh ok, mathematics? How about walking upright?

>>22421491
Technically no, but more or less. I'm not that big on Old World monkeys

>>22421564
Gorillas can do basic addition and subtraction, so with enough of them any computational arrangement can be performed.

>>22421533
I just murder my hookers...

>>22421580
The vast gorilla-brain spans an entire planet, and awakens footsoldiers on other worlds.

File: 1357441137103.jpg-(89 KB, 900x801, Adeptus_Apestartes.jpg)

Gorilla Space Marine, Better.

>>22421601
In his house at bananas, dead Gorilla waits, dreaming.

This shit is bananas

>>22421632
Glory to the Kong-Emperor of Apekind.

>Reasons to love 4chan
>What is 'This Thread?'

File: 1357441640882.jpg-(49 KB, 300x450, gorilla-man_pistol.jpg)

"What world is this, where apes conquered man?"

Wrong question, pink-boy. The one you oughta be asking is this...
>*ka-click*

"Do I feel lucky?"

>>22421580
Ok so they can't do mathematics as mathematics extends far beyond adding and subtracting.

>>22421762
They can instinctively handle figures into the gorillions.

Apes in the White House... I keep slipping on bananas on every street corner... and every time I fall I'm thinking, How... how did it come to this.

I assert my dominance and become king of all gorillas by dominating their women with my much larger-than-a-gorilla's penis. The gorilla women bear my seed and we start a new species that will rule all.

File: 1357442543259.jpg-(42 KB, 498x501, gorillion_dollars.jpg)

>>22421791

File: 1357442608644.jpg-(53 KB, 320x240, Commander_in_chimp.jpg)

>>22421793
Next time don't vote for the chimp, I don't care how good his tax reform plan was.

>>22421873
What makes you think you could fit, or even interbreed? Or that they would want you just because you've got a larger package than their own species?

Horses have bigger dongs than humans, but all our women aren't chasing stallions and popping out centaurs, now are they?

>>22421632
>>22421665

I now wanna see a pic of the God Emperor shooped to have an ape's head.

File: 1357444119000.jpg-(37 KB, 400x430, 1179339552.kyoht_gorillag(...).jpg)

Gorillas are even better at looking stylish in fine hats than humans are.

Seriously, could YOU look that good in that hat? I think not.

File: 1357444139925.jpg-(45 KB, 180x427, God emperor.jpg)

>>22422258
I tried my best, it's a cheap and quick shoop but dammit.

>>22422480
>cheap and quick

And it shows.

>>22422084
They're not?

File: 1357445059063.jpg-(82 KB, 400x889, The God Rustler of Jimmykind.jpg)

>>22422258
done

>>22422480
I see your quick job and raise you one God Rustler of jimmykind.

all it needs is some witty white text and you're good to go.

>>22422762
Smooth out that edge, bro.

>>22422770
Paint is hard to use

>>22421105
In my setting I have flying gorilla people as a main race. Taking them seriously is a challenge.

>>22422932
>flying gorillas
>has trouble taking them seriously.

Think of what a gorilla can DO, man. And now give them the power of FLIGHT. How in the world can you NOT take them seriously? Because, dude, if they got the urge to cut loose, you are FUCKED.

>>22422979
Mostly we've been making gorilla puns.

File: 1357445999991.jpg-(198 KB, 685x792, emperorkong.jpg)

>>22422258

>>22423010
...is it just me, or does this pic have some weird vertical compression going on here?

File: 1357446343298.jpg-(356 KB, 1920x1080, 1340002519589.jpg)

This entire thread is infected with HERESY!

Proof gorillas are better than people? Most superheroes are turned into them at one point or another, and a few have then as recurring villains.

DC: Congorilla, Gorilla Grodd (and all of Gorilla City), Monsieur Mallah, Titano, Ultra-Humanite, Primaul, and others.

Marvel: Gorilla-Man, Gorr the Golden, Gorilla Girl, crimeboss Big Julie, the Hit-Monkey, and so on.

Nearly every superhero during the Silver Age was turned into a gorilla, at one time or another. The best way to tell if someone's doing an homage or affectionate parody of the Silver Age is to see if there are any gorillas around.
Legend has it that this trend began when a DC Comics executive noticed sales spikes during months where monkeys and/or apes were on the cover. Whether or not this is true is unknown, but Peter David, in the same foreword quoted above, insists that it's true, and even names the exec: Julius Schwartz, creator of Barry Allen and Hal Jordan, among others.
Of course, this all culminated in the JLApe crossover, where the entire Justice League were turned into gorillas, even in their own comics. Before you ask, it was actually in the late nineties. Also, it turns out that red-haired and blond gorillas (such as the ape versions of the Flash and Aquaman, respectively), are really weird looking.
Later mimicked by Marvel Apes, an alternate universe where everyone is a monkey except the Inhumans and Sue Storm. (Note that the Marvel Apes version of Spider-Man, who has a tail, is not an ape, but a spider monkey. He actually calls himself "Spider-Monkey".)

>>22421105
I can't argue with that.

What about intelligence? Won't the low INT hurt the gorilla wizard? I suppose that doesn't really matter considering a gorilla will still fuck you up if you question his intelligence score...

File: 1357446959404.jpg-(230 KB, 500x576, axj5u.jpg)

>>22423090

>>22423221
Seems we've mostly been working on the assumption that whatevr's allowing the apes to be smart enough to wear clothes and talk also applies to overall brainpower, just like any other awakened animal.

Good luck getting to different continent with animals who literally cannot swim.

>>22423347
Humans can't swim between continents either. They found a way to travel that far anyway.

>>22423090
>closest known relative of the human
>origin of humanity
>heresy
Commissar I think you need to simmer down a bit.

>>22423398
Yeah, but they had the advantage of not sinking like a stone when their earliest nautical attempts went awry.
Have fun convincing your gorilla buddies to try out your experimental dugout canoe when it's certain death if anything goes wrong.

>>22423448
>origin of humanity
Someone cannot into biology.

>>22423398
I think he means gorillas have an inherent fear of the water due to the fact they are physically incapable of swimming, and it kills them when they try.
A gorilla that gets caught in a body of water deeper than its head is pretty much fucked, in zoos they are known to drown in the shallow moats between their enclosures and the observation windows.

In the wild they even refuse to wade across shallow streams.

>>22423488
Basically gorilla world dominance ends at the Suez canal.
Holy shit, I sound like /pol/

>>22423485
Eh.
I'm too lazy to actually give scientific facts. They're close enough.

>>22423534
>dig moat around Gorilla City
>Bomb gorilla city

Humanity 1.

Gorilla 0.

>>22423448
>>22423485
In Lovecraft's stories, it's indirectly suggested that the white man exists because ancient African tribes fucked albino apes.

Gorilla's would make terrible bards due to tiny dicks.

>>22423534
Well Africa has a metric fucking holy shit ton of resources and seeing as they do everything better I think they'd be able to set up a good empire.
Once they discover flight they might be able to merely fly over the devils water and conquer all of Eurasia.

>>22423488
>>22423534
>>22423603
If humans can learn to build airplanes, gorillas can learn to build boats.

>>22423609
kind of insulting to imply an ape would have that low of standards

>>22423609
Neanderthals kinda were albino apes so he wasn't all that far off.

>>22423626
Are we talking about fantasy black people or fantasy gorrilas?

>>22423636
Why haven't they?

>>22423654
>implying anything remotely human can be compared to the glories of the gorilla race

>>22423691
>Gorilla's just be jelly of human's stealing there wimmins with Hot Human Dick.

>>22423636
>Originally arboreal accustomed to heights
>Animals that avoid streams
Do you see my problem here?
Maybe Gorillas could develop flight, but without the impetus of naval and river travel, would artificial transport even become common enough for them to think it?

File: 1357449206929.jpg-(43 KB, 350x357, PirateGorilla.jpg)

>>22423664
How are you sure they haven't? Perhaps they already have... and they're just waiting for the right moment to take over all our naval shipping-lanes and seaborne defenses...

>>22423903
>somalianpirate.jpg
I lol'd

>>22423903
No. No they aren't. The ones that were all drowned, sadly.

>>22423966
That's just what they want you to think...

File: 1357449917617.jpg-(32 KB, 400x300, Sponge_Bob_Gorilla.jpg)

IF GORILLAS CAN'T SWIM WHY IS IT THAT THERE IS A GORILLA ON SPONGEBOB

I JUST TOOK THIS PICTURE AS PROOF A SECOND AGO

YOU ARE SAYING THAT GORILLAS CANNOT BE IN WATER BUT LOOK AT THE EVIDENCE

YOU ARE BEING LIED TO YOU

THE GORILLAS ARE BUILDING UNDERWATER

THEY ARE GETTING READY TO TAKE THE LAND

ITS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE IT HAPPENS

YOU THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY

IT WAS YOU WHO SHOULD HAVE LISTENED

>>22424114

THE RABBIT HOLE GOES EVEN DEEPER

THE GERMANS NEVER HAD A SUBMARINE PROGRAM IN WW1

SUBMARINES WERE UNHEARD OF AT THE TIME

SUDDENLY SUBMARINES WITH GERMAN LABELS STARTED SINKING SHIPS

GERMANS WONDERED HOW THIS COULD BE BUT THEIR LEADERS SHUT THEM UP

THE GERMANS WERE WORKING WITH THE UNDERWATER GORILLAS TO SINK SHIPS IN WW1

THEN THEY BETRAYED THE GERMANS AND BROUGHT AMERICA INTO THE WAR BY SINKING THEIR SHIPS

IT WAS THE GORILLAS ALL ALONG

>Hey guys, there is no race that cannot be improved by using the same stats, only 10 times as strong.
>But OP, such a thing would be retarded
>No MAGIC! Stop spoiling my fun!
My problem with this, OP is that you are taking away all Gorillas natural weaknesses compared to fantasy races, and saying GRILAZ ARE COOL THEREFORE YOU ARE WORNG.
This thread would have been better if we accurately statted gorillas, and then found them amusingly more suited for roles taken in quests.

>>22424114
>>22424236
In DC Comics, there was at one point a villain named Primaul - a vampire Nazi gorilla.

File: 1357450847603.jpg-(65 KB, 694x716, img4bcc831e03ec9.jpg)

Behold, the Karmans, a faction of intelligent cigar-smoking gorillas in power-armor, from the game AT-43.

>>22424425
>AT-43
The best miniature game that didn't take off.

>>22424276
Gorillas have no natural weaknesses.

Look up "Terra Primate" - it's by the same guys who made "All Flesh Must Be Eaten", and is roughly similar, except instead of zombies, it's killer apes.

File: 1357451402330.jpg-(169 KB, 948x1560, GorillaGroddRedesign.jpg)

I agree, gorillas are a superior replacement to the soft, weak minded menfolk

>>22424467
Exactly my point.
They do. They have the mental age of 2 year olds when they are fully developed
They are heavy as fuck and have poor endurance
They cannot swim
They have poor heat control in direct sunlight

Thanks to the Grey Knights codex, with the exception of needing one Inquisitor, one can field an entire army solely of intelligent weapon-using apes, the Jokaero.

File: 1357451588750.gif-(6.35 MB, 320x180, chimp rapes frog.gif)

>>22421170

As all primates, Gorillas do not Seduce.

They take their cues from their chimp brethren.

File: 1357451691461.jpg-(36 KB, 300x358, koko.jpg)

>>22421385

>Gorilla killing kittenboy

Obviously you do not know the way to gorilla heart.

The videogame God Hand has, as one variety of enemy, a group of... lucha libre wrestler gorillas.

How is that not awesome?

File: 1357451862423.jpg-(91 KB, 2000x963, awakened gorilla.jpg)

>>22424595
>Gorillas have no natural weaknesses.

Not once they find that Boon Trap of Awaken I left in their mists.

Then there's going to be some problems.

>inb4 Druids have no sense of right or wrong.

>>22424452
I'm still sad about it dying off.

File: 1357451926257.jpg-(143 KB, 1219x909, karman3.jpg)

>>22424425
Oh god, it's everything I never knew I really wanted.

>>22424656
well, chimps are the closest to humans of all the primates. Well, them and bonobos.

Humans, chimps, and bonobos are also the only primates who have sex for pleasure and perform things such as anal and oral sex.

Clearly, they are a corrupt bloodline, and the humans, beng the peak of said filthy lineage, are too perverse and unworthy of ruling this planet.

>>22424276
So then get working on an accurately statted gorilla PC. There's no need to be so angry about people not doing something if you won't do it either.

I understand your frustration, but if you just don't take the thread seriously it's really fucking funny.

File: 1357452013995.jpg-(186 KB, 750x750, Higher_Primate_by_GaryStorkamp.jpg)

>>22424699
It's pretty damn awesome

File: 1357452017786.jpg-(126 KB, 441x630, img4bcc82790c495.jpg)

>>22424776

File: 1357452051481.jpg-(62 KB, 801x493, PrincessBubbles.jpg)

I actually do quite like the idea of gorillas or something like them in fantasy (read: four dexterous limbs on a bipedal creature) and imaginining the kind of weapons or fighting styles that race would develop.

There'd be a gorillion different ones at least.

File: 1357452177699.jpg-(371 KB, 1200x1200, gorilla pimpin.jpg)

>>22424788

Gorillas can learn from the lesser species.

And if they are in need of carnal release, they know how to roll for Seduction.

File: 1357452360010.jpg-(352 KB, 1896x1387, Therians.jpg)

>>22424776
Wanna know something hilarious about AT-43? Those humans that the gorillas are about to unleash a can of whoop-ass on aren't proper humans. They're a sort of regressive colonist branch of the species.

Earthlings, on the other hand, are post-singularity infomorphs whose hobbies include building Dyson spheres and browsing Space 4chan. No, seriously, this is a big deal in their fluff. It's even got VR simulators that they use to train for war.

File: 1357452522068.jpg-(141 KB, 625x625, gorilla-pimp.jpg)

>>22424871
>gorilla pimpin.jpg

That ain't gorilla pimpin'.

This is.

File: 1357452634014.jpg-(130 KB, 900x656, gibbon_sealofapproval.jpg)

>>22424933
Neat

File: 1357452642831.jpg-(187 KB, 814x981, pimp gorilla.jpg)

>>22424983

>Poor styling
>Not knowing the term Gorilla Pimpin

Oh Anon.

File: 1357452810289.gif-(1.98 MB, 512x288, 1354428069277.gif)

>>22424933
Don't they only style themselves as horrible pseudo-biotech Oldcrons because it's intimidating? There's otherwise no limit to the body types they can have.

They could even be you.

>>22425069
They could even be gorillas.

>>22425088
This post made my fucking night.

>>22425023
Oh, I know the term.

But that pic is funnier.

File: 1357453137392.png-(340 KB, 351x440, Check Mah Fives.png)

>>22425088

File: 1357453296217.gif-(33 KB, 166x192, good show, sport.gif)

>>22425088

File: 1357453394734.jpg-(310 KB, 1182x1330, Wonder_Woman_as_Gorilla_b(...).jpg)

In Justice League Unlimited episode "Dead Reckoning" Gorilla Grodd reveals his master plan is to use Gorilla City's cloaking shield generator to produce a carrier wave that will magically turn every man, woman, and child on Earth into an ape. Lex Luthor and the other supervillains were less than amused.
And by "less than amused," we mean "Luthor shot him in the face."
Even the heroes were underwhelmed; Wonder Woman's response upon seeing her transformation: "Oh, come ON!"

>>22425259
To be fair, WW was probably just tired of being turned into things - in previous episodes she's gotten turned into a child and a pig.

>>22424688
I have no idea how to make this happen in dnd, but a traveling gorilla paladin taking a young catboy under his wing WILL HAPPEN.

>>22425259
Luthor was probably mad because he was tired of Grodd's lack of creativity - in pretty much every comic or show the character's been in, he's tried at least once to eliminate all humans and/or turn all humans into apes.

>>22424788
That said, gorillas are known to keep "harems" of females in the wild, and viciously defend them from encroaching rival males, should one wander into their territory...

File: 1357454629911.jpg-(23 KB, 350x244, gorillaonphone_8919.jpg)

Gorillas... they may already lurk among us.

>>22424425
>>22424452
>>22424771
>>22424776
>>22424813

The sheer amount of monkey puns and shout-outs of the Karmans is ridiculous; for example, the chief battlestation is called "Zaius"... like the Planet of the Apes character.

>>22425389

So a reverse Don Quixote with a wise, bedraggled, silverback and his idealistic, somewhat hallucinatory catboy squire?

I hate the catfolk but I would actually allow it to fly.

>>22425745
As someone else said earlier in this thread, you can't go wrong with flying gorillas.

>>22425745
this sounds awesome. I wonder how I can get my DM to approve of this sort of thing in our conan the barbarian campaign...

File: 1357455919255.jpg-(43 KB, 400x248, gorilla cat.jpg)

>>22425745

We must send them off to adventure

>>22425983
The Catfolk boy would grow up to be a total bishie but act like a gorilla. fantastic

>>22425983
Thanks to gorillas and cats, we know that apes can lie.

Take for example Koko the gorilla, and her pet cat All Ball. When her handlers confronted her after she tore a steel sink out of its mooring, she signed "cat did it" and pointed at the innocent kitten.

We've known for ages that animals just things like coloration and posturing to deceive predators and bluff rivals in fights, but this was the first time an anmal actually used language, albeit a learned one, to outright lie.

>>22426050

Though more than likely you're looking at a more fit catfolk than you would find otherwise. Most seem to be very focused on the lithe side of things, but if you're traveling with a Gorilla Paladin you need to be able to carry his heavy Large armor and his others.

Catfolk with Powerful build perhaps?

File: 1357457445184.jpg-(122 KB, 574x786, Black_Tiger_Guy_Colored.jpg)

>>22426424
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioE_O7Lm0I4

>>22426424
>>22425745
>>22425389
>>22426474

>Anthro gorilla paladin with anthro tiger squire

DRAWFAG NEEDED IMMEDIATELY.

>>22426551
This needs some writefaggotry

>>22426551
Catfolk: Rawr I'm a monster!
Sir Gorilla: Stop that.

>>22426620

Well, we would need to establish the parameters. Sir Joseph Young, Knight of the Golden Crescent and his squire Tabius have had many tales.

>>22426714
>Joseph Young
You get big bonus points for NOT going with the name "James Russel".

>>22426714
I love you so much /tg/

Bard: Gorilla uses two-inch penis to woo absolutely zero ladies

Check and mate.

File: 1357458489791.jpg-(15 KB, 181x279, Purple Gorillas in space.jpg)

So you dudes should try and find the book "Spacepaw" by Gordon R. Dickson.
Man tries to teach Space Gorillas how to use Shovels. Hilarity follows.

File: 1357458608450.jpg-(81 KB, 720x540, mightyjoeyoung2 - 1949.jpg)

>>22426733

I'll always prefer the classics over 4chan inanity.

>>22426740
>Bard: Gorilla uses +4 str mod and +8 grapple mod and 2-inch penis to forcibly rape all the ladies
Your move, champ.

>>22426785

Don't Gorilla size Apes have around a +12 grapple check?

>>22426840
Yeah, my bad. +12. How about that shit, huh?

File: 1357459198541.jpg-(87 KB, 800x567, Gorilladin wip.jpg)

>>22426551

>>22426785
Gorillas are rarely violent unless threatened or provoked. It's the smaller primates, like chimps, that are the evil little shits.

>>22426785
Bards don't rape, they woo.

It doesn't count if it's rape. If it did then any jackass with a tambourine and access to roofies could claim to be a bard.

File: 1357459487622.jpg-(116 KB, 500x375, dj.jpg)

>>22426978
>It doesn't count if it's rape. If it did then any jackass with a tambourine and access to roofies could claim to be a bard.

>>22426747
I read that years ago as 'the right to bear arms' where the dibbuns were more bearlike than gorilla like. Pickedup a copy of spacepaw at a highschool book giveaway this spring, and was halfway through before i realised I had read it before. I highly recommend it though, to anyone who can find it.

>>22426919
yes! Please continue.

>>22426919

He hated the smell the most. The smell of refuse, of rotting vegetables, of beggars soaked in their own filth and whores crying their wares with sickly sweet fragrances.

But the Lord had called him, and Sir Joseph heeded the call. The voice in his dreams was that of a man wracked with pain, wanting to see his oldest friend.

He stiffened as he remembered that day. A hairless babe in a white hammock, a great black killer creeping towards him. Joseph was young, stupid, and wild, away from his mother for one of his first forays. How many times had he seen his mother or the others of her circle slay the killers? He knew the moves, to tumble down and snap their necks cleanly, to tear the still living head from their bodies.

He was young, and not as quick as the killer. He was struck once, then twice, and his screams had been matched only by the babe's indignant howls.

The bright colors, and a grey robe. A hairless mother picking up the babe, kicking at him before a man in green grabbed him up.

He did not understand the man but knew his face somehow. His mother called him Stranger, or the Manyfaced. This creature who could become like them but be so different than them. Stranger had brought food during the Great Famine, had protected them from the striped killers who came into their forests.

Joseph, who was known as Howler as a babe, felt the man's rough hands. Joseph felt them colder than the pain running into his arms, up his face, the tingly sensations that his mother had told him meant he would go There. There to where his father had gone when the striped killers had come.

The man's howls became quieter, and in them he heard something he could recognize. Something he knew deep within himself, the songs of Here, The Place. It spoke to him, telling him to rise, to stand up and become...

"Ahh, I think I have done it." Stranger said as he looked into Joseph's shocked eyes. Joseph howled, screaming, and could understand what he said.

>>22427375

"Hurts. Hurts hand. Hurts face." Howler moved the unpained hand across the places he felt pain.

"What was it that hurt you? Green? Black? Yellow?" Stranger said quickly, a pained expression across his face.

"Black, big killer, going for baby. Stop killer." Howler bared his teeth, swatting his hand down towards his chest. When he hit one of his wounds he let out a gasp, then faded into a darkness the color of the killer.

Howler awoke in a hammock, hanging besides the hairless babe. Something like leaves was pressed all over his body, and the pain had been dulled somewhat. Near him he could hear voices.

"Well, this does put off our hunt now doesn't it Abi?" a voice, a male's voice said.

"Yes, but the beast did save your son. The Dark Death the natives call them. The snake's venom is as powerful as a wyvern's sting. If the beast had not been there..." Stranger trailed off.

"But what did you do to it?" A voice, a female, said.

"Something foolish, but necessary. I called to the primal spirit of the beast, made it rise to the level of Human thought. I entwined the effect with a simple comprehension spell, so that we could speak together. Somehow the second spell changed, for I speak the language of the apes and he spoke to me in our common tongue." Stranger spoke a little quieter, and the sound of worry reached Howler's ears.

"What will the others do to him now?" the female voice, the same worry.

"Well it does not matter. A man's flight of fancy must serve nature, and Abianus serves nature as well as any shaman in the region." the male's voice, loud and declarative.

"It is said by the natives that an ape may bond with a man. That a life saved is worth a life, yes?" Stranger said, his voice moving towards Howler as he spoke.

File: 1357461981913.jpg-(112 KB, 1000x882, Gorilladin still not finished.jpg)

>>22426919
Last update for the evening

>>22427529

Stranger's face appeared above Howler's own, and the old male placed a hand on his chest. The other voices' faces appeared to, as a female whose plain face was covered in worry, and a stern male face like the elders of Howler's troop.

The female laughed, then stroked Howler's cheek carefully.

"That face. He is a babe in arms. Loyal, strong, and we have enough barbarians who serve as lords to make his appearance only slightly strange at court." the Female smiled on him, and her bare teeth made Howler fear even with her kind tones.

"That is true. The beast could also help to serve me well in the hunt once he has grown. He even bears a certain resemblance to one of my grandfather's bastards." The male did not bare his teeth, but his voice did not carry the same mirth.

"Then it is settled. Come to catch a tigre and return home with a son, yes?" Stranger said, baring teeth then covering them at a look from the male.

"Yes. We shall call him Josephus the Younger!" the female laughed, grabbing the male's hand.

When their hands touched Howler saw the care of these two for each other, and as the man's soft hands brushed his cheek he pressed against it.

"Will he need special care?" the male said.

"Yes, though his diet could be close to ours. Meat, fruits from the region. He does seem to be weaned, my Lord." Stranger pulled at the white leaves surrounding Howler's body.

"Then it is settled. You shall come with us Abianus, to see to the beast's care. If your sorcery has done well he may even be taught letters and speech." the female said, grabbing Howler's hand and clutching it in her own.

"Oh, I feel he will be well suited. The apes have strength far greater than our own, and they can move quite quickly when they need to." Stranger said, finishing.

The male walked away, then brought a bundle over. Within the bundle lay the hairless babe, who grabbed Howler's paw.

"See your new friend? We will call him Josephus."

"Joe." the babe said.

>>22421143
>not having both in one

File: 1357462419911.jpg-(100 KB, 250x492, optimus.jpg)

>>22427703
shit forgot pic

>>22427670
This is awesome man.

>>22427670

Parlin, Crown Prince of Alsius returned to Court that Spring from the warm climes of the South. To his father he brought five fine tigre pelts and the egg of a great bird who wandered flightlessly across the plains. To his mother he brought pearls and shells of great sea creatures to adorn her home.

He also brought in secret a small ape, who spoke the common tongue and had become the boon companion of the young Duke Xander of the Crescent.

In secret Joe and Xander played. It was with Joe Xander learned to run, and received his first scrapes and bruises. Parlin requested Xander's nurse beat the young gorilla, but she could only bring herself to teach him to be gentle with his soft hairless friend.

In five years Xander began to venture off to learn the secrets of numbers, letters, and statecraft. When Xander returned he taught Joe all that he would know, and though Joe was never as quick to learn he did have all day to study.

Joe and Xander began to practice their letters, their ciphers, and simple swordsmanship. It was only when Joe broke Xander's steel shield with a wooden training sword that Prince Parlin took notice. The King's Barber was called, and a new young noble of an unknown family of the far West was added to the ranks of the Master at Arms training courses.

Joe was a freak, an oddity among the boys. They saw his strange feet that looked so much like hands, and mocked him as a devil's child. The Master, who had spent time in the Crescent, kept quiet of his knowledge but began to teach Joe to use his feet to his advantage.

In another five years the "demon-born" Josephus had learned to hide his shameful feet in soft leather shoes made for such purposes. He attended court as a page, serving food for the least of the King's men.

It was then that Stranger, who Joe came to know as Abianus, made his first appearance to the Crown Prince and Princess Consort to explain what had happened that day in the jungles of the Crescent.

Mighty Joe Young, I get it.

I think they're playing that on Cinemax or Showtime these days.

>>22427375
>>22427529
>>22427670
>>22427838

I really am hoping someone's gonna archive this thread now, i only for this story...

crtl-f penis
no matches found

ehem, gorrillas have like 2 inch long dongs. /thread.

>>22427838

"I have spoken to the shamans of the Dark Deep, and the spirit callers of Ancient Lyris. I have looked into the tomes of the Unspeaking, and even consulted with the Masked Lady of the Isle of Names. It is the case." Abianus looked grave, though he seemed to have not aged a day since he had departed from Court only weeks after Joe began visiting the Barber.

"The sorcery that binds them... I could not have known. The spirit callers claim that Xander was somehow entwined with Josephus. Your son was meant to travel into the Unknown that day but for the beast."

"His name is Josephus, Abianus." Alima, the Princess Consort, said quietly.

"Yes. I understand your attachment. Your son, Xander, has become wise beyond his years has he not? He speaks to birds, some say, and can call flame to his hands. Do not deny it, I speak to the same birds as he." Abianus smiled, showing his strange sharpened teeth.

"Yes, but it is not unheard of. Alima's great grandfather was one of the Wise, and brought his House great favor through his works." Parlin said looking to Xander and Joseph in turn.

"Yes. If anyone can figure out how to solve my failure it will be one of the Wise. The potions I have given to the Royal Barber have done their work, I see. But if we continue to apply them to young Josephus." Abianus raised his hands to the sky.

"But that potion keeps Joseph as a man. If we were to fail in giving it to him?" Parlin said, then stood to pace around the room.

"The, uh, boy has shown great aptitude in swordplay according to the Master of Arms. The Prefect of the Temple of the Sky says that he is also interested in holy writ. Perhaps Josephus could be sent to a monastery, protected until this little affair may be resolved?" Abianus spoke quickly, wringing his hands. Josephus could sense his fear, the same feeling he felt in a mouse as one of the castle's cats stalked it.

And so it was settled.

>>22428003
How do you archive this? I seriously need this archived

>>22428003

Xander and Josephus had grown as brothers, and they departed in kind. Though tears were shed they were the quiet tears appropriate to Xander's station, and though Josephus felt them on his bare chest as they released each other he did not show it on his face.

Abianus and the Prefect stood waiting for him at the Eastern Gate. Sunrise crested the Great Hill, and the kindly face of the Prefect shone with its light.

"Do you swear, Josephus son of Mother, to protect those men who wander beneath the grace of the Lord of the Heavens? To keep your oath on pain of darkness? Do you swear to seek no title save that offered by those who follow the tenets of the Lord of the Heavens? Will you speak truly to all who follow He Who Rules the Sky, to strike down his enemies with the fury of lightning, the quiet of rain, and the swiftness of the risen sun?" the Prefect spoke, waving his hands in the traditional patter for an oath of fealty to the Skylord.

"I do swear it." Joseph replied, kissing the crystal suspended from the Prefect's throat to mark his affiliation with the Temple of the Sky.

"Then rise, Sir Joseph, and be embraced by the Sky's King on this his raising to the Heavens." the Prefect extended his hands to lift Josephus up, and turned him to stare at the rising sphere of flame.

>>22428116

The road to the Monastery was long. Joseph was given a simple robe of a penitent and a sealed letter from the Prefect alongside the monastic tithes in a great wagon.

It was during this journey that Joseph and Abianus walked in their true faces. Abianus attacked Joseph as a great eagle and a prowling tigre, as a snow white bear. Once, as Joseph bathed, the one he had known as Stranger came as a giant fish, attempting to swallow him whole.

With each day Joseph took on his true face. Hair that had been controlled through administration of daily oils grew in thick, and at night he could almost hear his bones shift and grow. The robe that hung so loosely on him at the beginning of his pilgrimage fit Joe so poorly he was reminded of Xander trying to fit into clothes a year too old for him.

"They will shun you. They will think you some demon, some beast. As I did once, though I beg forgiveness now." Abianus hung his head, looking around their small tent.

"And how much more will I grow?" Joseph asked, rubbing a soothing ointment into his face, head, palms, and back.

"Your growth has been retarded to that of a human child. If you were still with your tribe you would already be an adult or near it." Abianus told him, stoking a pipe filled with strange herbs.

"And how large will I be?" Joseph questioned, looking at his now doubled body.

"You are a strange case, Joseph. You may just grow bigger than I could imagine. But most of your kind grow to around my own height, with much longer arms and three times as heavy."

"And what if I grow larger? What if I just keep growing?" Joseph rubbed his brow, looking down at the dirt as he drew circles with his toes.

"I doubt that this will be the case, but I have instructed the monks to weigh you down with stones if you grow too tall. I do not worship this Sky King but I feel he may not want a too tall knight." Abianus laughed.

Josephus ate quickly, and fell asleep dreaming of what he was to become.

>>22428176

Is anyone still following this?

Rolled 4

>>22421105
>Need an assassin? Gorilla rogue - hang by his arms from the rafters and snap necks with his feet
Oinkbane accepts the challenge.

>Gorilla Assassin sneaks through the jungle, following the scent of a boar
>he finds huge bush inside it somethings moving
>he sneaks behind , grabs with his legs, finds a neck and snaps it.
>Picks up
>Turns out to be a dummy
>Suddenly the palm is Oinkbane
>MY TACTIS ARE TOO SUBTLE FOR YOU!

>>22428180
Yes, keep going, I'm hanging on your word

>>22428180
MEMEME!

Rolled 2

>>22423207
>Monsieur Mallah
Oh my god, this guy is fantastic!

>>22428176

The men of the caravan began to question Joseph's appearance a week away from the Monastery. Joseph had to keep remembering to pick up his gangly limbs, to walk as he had for almost a decade rather than revert to his primal nature. Abianus used several stout branches to force Joseph's body to the correct form, and when they unwound his 'cage' each night the old druid joked of its similarity to one of the Princess's girdles.

The mountains proved harsh travel during the rainy, muddy season, but the caravan made good time. Joseph's fellows became thankful of the strange manbeast and its keeper, as they used their strength to right axles and free their mules from sucking mud. The men knew not to ask any questions, but Joseph could see them look at him. A cross between a demon and some strange beast of burden.

The monks of Winterabbey had seen many things, and their laity reminded Joseph of these strange things everyday. Once a man had come with the head of a horse asking for succor, and the Abbot had provided oats and shelter for the whole winter! Even so, Abianus's addition of several exotic trees and a strange house made of glass were spoken of in hushed tones at many tables in the abbey and its surrounding village.

Joseph learned the mysteries of the Lord of the Heavens there, and he grew every day. The Abbot, quite young for his position, would invite Joseph to play at games of skill and culture. The two would sit and discuss philosophy over cups of mulled wine during the winter, or sweet liquers the Abbot's lead brewer would make from the produce of Abianus's trees.

It was during the winter of his fourteenth year that Joseph first heard the Call, and set down the path that would lead him to his life's work.

>>22428300

Winterabbey Village was covered in the second snow of the season when the first were brought to the abbey gates. Sores, sprouting from the throat. The Cold Death had come to Winterabbey. The Abbot, a practitioner of the Mysteries, sent word to nearby Temples and Abbeys but expected no aid. As Joseph had not been seen to have a cold or sickness in his years at Winterabbey he was chosen to go forth with the Abbot and help to treat the sick.

The Death had hit hard. Some claimed it was due to demons trying to attack the Abbey, while others thought it was poison put in the water by a Traveler caravan that had passed through in the summer season. Whatever had caused the sickness over half of the villagers were sick, and two dozen of their weakest had already succumbed.

"We will take all of the sickest to the Small Temple, and treat them there." the Abbot announced. The villagers, who served a quiet life of piety and obedience, began to bear their dying on stretchers made of old clothes and sturdy poles.

Joseph held the door and looked on the dying. Three dozen who could no longer move, brought into the Small Temple by their loved ones. Rarely did Joseph feel alone, but as these meager men and women filed past he knew there would be no wife to tend his dying, no children who would be . . . like him.

As one group passed he felt it. A raising of hair on his back, a shadow passing in his vision.

It looked like the cooper who came to help build new barrels for the winter's ales. Out of instinct Joseph began to react, rushing forward and leaping across the stretcher.

The dying woman on the stretcher was the cooper's daughter. She moaned as her brothers began to try to pull Joseph off of their father. They could not move him, and as he continued to strike the cooper, who looked up at him in quiet laughter.

"A beast! This is the demon who has come to kill my daughter! This is the creature kept by the heathen pederast Abbot who says he'll heal us!"

>>22428499

Joseph felt the villagers and their blows upon his back. The weight of a brazier filled with coals fell onto his penitent robe, and he rolled away from the cooper. Leaping to his feet, Joseph tore the robes and his girdle from his body in a rush of strength. The eyes of the villagers were blue, bright, the same color as the cooper's eyes.

Joseph knew he had only seconds. He did not wish to harm the villagers, so he rushed and leaped through the throng. They struck at him with fists and feet, and one jammed a simple table knife deep between his shoulder blades. The pain filled him, rushed him onward to his goal.

Above the altar of the Small Temple sat an effigy of the Lord of the Heavens. Carved in wood the Lord's dark skin was covered in the lines of the constellations, and each star was placed in a different gem stone.

But it was what the Lord held in his hands that Joseph needed now.

Ta Meteora, the Stone Above. The Lord's great hammer, which shines in the heavens when omens and great portents cross the skies. This was but a replica, the weapon all of the Knights of the Sky carried, but it would do for Joseph's purposes.

Joseph ran through the crowd shrieking, the sounds of prayer mixed with a bestial howl. True to his birth name Joseph howled through the enthralled, and struck the cooper across the face.

The lights left the eyes of the parishioners as they all fell down. The beast that had worn the Cooper's flesh writhed in agony, burning in a puddle of its own oily green blood.

Though the Abbot died of his injuries a month later the villagers vouched for Joseph's good deeds. A monk of Winterabbey could not take a life even in service to their King, but Joseph was not meant for a life of quiet contemplation.

Joseph knew his nature. What he was born to do, and what he would do until the day he was struck dead.

Joseph would stand with the Skylord, a beast of Nature to battle against the Unnatural.

>>22428617

I'm getting to the Catboy, I swear. Though I am afraid by the time I get there I will just be whistling to myself.

>>22428622
I-I-I'm still reading!

;_;

>>22428622
I'm reading, keep on going.

>>22428622
NEVER STOP! SO SAYS THE DEMON LORD URSUS!

>>22428617

Forty years. It had been forty years since Joseph saw Xander, now Prince Parlin the Younger. They were both twenty, and Joseph had been at war with the creatures of the Night for almost five years. Though he made his report to the Prefect first, his second act was to visit his first friend.

The Prince had grown, and was to be married in the summer to a fine if portly girl of the West. She looked strangely at the burly, malformed Knight who bowed to the Prince, but fainted dead away when Joseph removed his helm. When she was brought back to consciousness she was kind enough, and spoke to Joseph of exotic fruits that each had eaten. She seemed a good fit for his friend, as quiet as he could be boisterous, as humble as he could be aloof. A good choice and a good Queen to hedge in a King who would find the Art to be a poor tool for a ruler to lay all of his stock upon.

It was when Xander and Joseph retired to a balcony overlooking the Hill that the knight learned why he had been called to Court.

"I have looked into this, this bond between us." Xander spoke, his childhood stutter almost appearing for the first time in the day.

"I felt my back burning during our last campaign. I had thought it an old wound, one of my first." Joseph smiled, the gesture both natural from his time among Man and challenging.

"I have turned my sight to you when studying with the Magus of the Court, yes. But that should not be unexpected, brother." Xander tilted his head, and seemed to be pained in his smile.

"He has suggested I kill you, you see. A quaint ceremony, Abianus and my parents there to see it. I have had to tell him no, even though I must agree that the solution would prove.." Xander broke off, covering his face with his hands.

Old emotions swept over Joseph, and he wrapped his long arms around his friend, his brother.

>>22428795

"The confluence, a single circumstance, a skyfire passing in the Eastern Reach. I was meant to live for a ten and a hundred years, to be a great force of change. But you." Xander cried, and pressed himself into Joseph's bare chest. Joseph felt this friend's hands entwine in his pelt, as knowledge washed over him.

"We share life then. The destiny of the heavens."

"Yes. I think we may have thirty, fifty five years at the most. The confluence was not well documented, and the passage of time and changes to the orbits... I am sorry Joe." Xander sighed, looking into his friend's eyes.

Joseph knew the pain in that look. Sixty years of rule cut short, the worries of a kingdom's survival placed in the hands of a man whose time was set in the stars themselves.

"Then we will make the most of tonight, brother. Let us play a game, and drink to those who have fallen." Joseph said, staring into the eyes of his soul's mate.

And if the two drank too much as they joked of kitchen maids and their old lesson masters? If they stumbled down the streets of the Capital locked arm in arm? It was the way of brothers, even those who shared no blood.

When Joseph woke in his guest chambers with a headache it was Uma, the fainting princess, who came to give him powders. It was Uma who washed his brow and held him as he wept for his friend, his brother, the man who would give his age so he would not harm the malformed beast who had saved him from the bite of a black killer.

Parlin the Younger gave Sir Joseph the lands surrounding the Golden Crescent as a wedding gift. The Sky Knight was given attendants and finery, and in return fought bravely for god and kingdom.

When Joseph sent the tomes of the Mad Sorcerer of Loana to King Parlin the Second he included a small painting of a boy with blonde hair holding a strange beast of the jungles of the Crescent.

When the Queen Dowager passed Sir Joseph lit a thousand candles in her honor.

File: 1357469079847.jpg-(31 KB, 367x493, naked gorilla.jpg)

told you

>>22428936

When Princess Alimai was born to King Parlin the Wizened the Princess received a doll made to look as an ape dressed in the finery of a Royal Guard. The young noble who laughed upon its opening was placed in a pillory for a week by the King Himself.

When word of the deaths of a hundred Sky Knights reached Alsius from across the sea it was said that King Parlin walked the paths of the Shadow across the Oceans to learn of the deaths.

Sir Joseph was announced at the Knight's Gate, but upon seeing him the heralds knew to keep quiet. When a new, even older Prefect met his eyes Joseph knew the truth.

Joseph took the path to the Royal Chambers on all fours. He bowled over two chambermaids, a Master Scrivener, three clerics, and two members of the Royal Guard.

Five Mages attended their dying patron. One seemed to be chanting while waving a censer around the bed, while two others drew strange sigils on the posters of the King's bed.

While the image of Xander was older than he had expected, the truth was far worse. Xander's skin hung loose all around his once chubby body, and his fingers had lost their nails as they shriveled.

"Joe. Your, tim... ing. Lot. Desirrre." Xander said, coughing throughout.

"I rushed in as quickly as I could, My Liege." Joseph bowed, holding his blessed hammer between his hands.

"Prepar... ations. Performed. Solved. Just need. You." Xander coughed, shaking as he extended his hands.

As Joseph came forward he saw a fur muff in the King's lap.

"It is time, Sire." a tattooed mage with goatlike eyes said.

"Good. Proceed." Xander said, and grabbed Joseph's hands.

The chanting begin quietly, then rose in volume and pitch. The smells of incense and death filled Joseph's nostrils, and as he looked into Xander's eyes he saw the light leave his friend.

>>22429111

Joseph attempted to speak, and found himself unable. The tingling force of magic surrounded him, pulling at points on his body. The places where a young ape named Howler had been bitten by another's death.

The world seemed to close in on Joseph from all sides, and he felt pieces of himself being torn away.

Two people in robes, not involved with the ritual, rushed to Joseph's side.

"Stay with us. The spell is pulling him!" said one, a young woman whose hair had been cut in a top knot.

"The King has passed, his spirit is slipping away with the Kings! Sever the bond, block the flow of energy!" said a voice in his ear, probably coming from the man bearing Joseph up and preventing him from touching the ground.

The cuts that burned in Joseph's flesh filled with cold, tingly pain. The feeling of a waking limb, touching something warm, strange, inhuman.

"What's going on?" Joseph whispered, as his eyes began to flutter.

"I'm holding your soul in my hands, Sir Knight. We're rebuilding the matr... Just sit still!" the voice behind him spoke, as two withered hands began to touch points on Joseph's armor.

The sensation was familiar, even after so many years.

When the Knight woke he found himself staring into the eyes of a creature unlike one he had seen before. The creature's face was pinched, with long wisps of hair from around a small, pink nose. Eyes the color of amber stared into Joseph's, with vertical slits that made the beast look demonic.

"Hi." the creature said, putting a paw on Joseph's chest.

"Do I know you?" Joseph said, trying to sit up.

"Your name is Joseph." the creature declared.

"Yes, yes it is."

"Your fur is strange."

"I, am glad to learn this bit of information. And who are you?" Sir Joseph asked.

The creature reached up to jingle a strange amulet near Joseph's eyes. It was only then that he recognized the amulet.

It had been laying on the muff in Xander's lap.

The muff that bit him.

"My name is Tabius."

File: 1357471262680.jpg-(36 KB, 615x410, 1355699778444.jpg)

>>22428950
chimp, not a gorilla

looks like pan troglodytes

pic distantly related

>>22429264
hehe fur is strange. cuteness abides.

>>22429264

The Queen came to see Joseph on the third day of mourning. Uma had aged gracefully, but her eyes were as red as the sheets that Joseph was lain on. Three times she began to speak, only to stop herself and leave in tears.

It was two days later that Joseph was able to stand, and look upon what was happening. Across from his own bed was Tabius, sleeping on his side.

The creature was short and lanky, laying out to five and a half feet. A saucer of milk sat near the head of its bed, and a long tail twitched as it slept.

"An unfortunate side effect, Sir Joseph. We are working towards a more stable solution." said a voice from behind Joseph.

As he turned the Knight saw the tattooed wizard from the royal bedchamber. The tattoos seemed to flow under her skin, and her eyes seemed to change from dark amber to the light gold of honey.

"What have you done?" Joseph demanded, slamming his fist onto his bedside table.

"Our King had requested that we seal your essence after the removal of the ties that bound your fates. Due to his unforeseen demise your essence was almost dragged into the Aether along with your Lord.

"To repair the damage we needed to, improvise a solution. The King's cat, a sympathetic object, and minor manipulation of the feline's form..."

"You have made a monster!" Joseph cried.

"No, we saved your life. This creature, as you call it, is your only tie to the land of the living. You have been granted a few year's respite, as long as..." the mage trailed off.

"As long as?" Joseph questioned.

"You must remain within a day's distance of Tabius, and he to you, or else the bonds we have created will unravel." the mage winced, fearing reprisal.

"Yes! Togetherness!" said the purring voice of Tabius, waking up and stretching.

"The creature is an amalgam. It is as much human as it is ape, as much ape as it is cat." the mage said solemnly as she and Joseph looked upon the beast.

"But can we train it to not lick its testicles?"

>>22429663

I am currently looking at the low side of 7 AM. I hope you enjoyed the story, and perhaps I'll pick it up if the thread survives.

>>22429704
I love you! *throws flowers at your feet*

>>22429704

Horrible.

>>22429704
dude, this was an awesome read. I hope u continue in a future thread/day.

>>22421105
I disagree, OP. It should be some type of monkey with prehensile tail rather than Ape. That way you can hang from trees and fire 2 bows or fight with 4 swords. Shit would be awesome.

File: 1357477842440.png-(257 KB, 569x469, BlackBrute.png)

>>22421170
"You are a low gorilla barbarian. I am a highborn noblewoman. Why would I ever deign to lower myself to sleep with you?"
"Because, milady, I am much stronger than you."

>>22424813
These guys make the BEST counts-as Broadsides, by the way.

>>22426551
First off, anthro gorilla? It doesn't need to be 'anthro'. It's already a GODDAMN GORILLA.

Plus, catboy does not equal anthro tiger. Please see me after class.

>>22430444

Someone didn't read the story.

We're over the anthro tiger. We're gorilla paladin with catskin muff catboy now.

>>22430465
yay! Togetherness!

>>22427375
>>22427529
>>22427670
>>22427838
>>22428003
>>22428116
>>22428176
>>22428300
>>22428499
>>22428617
>>22428795
>>22428936
>>22429111
>>22429264
>>22429663


Excellent work.

>>22431230

Holy shit. I didn't realize I wrote 10% of a novella in less that 3 hours.

And there's plenty to just flesh out and make it a novel.

Sadly I have now said that about five different things I've written for /tg/ in the last month.

>>22431333
Now you have something you can use for next NaNoWriMo.

>>22433715

Why wait for November?

>>22431333
Still needs work, but its serviceable.

Fuck novels, novellas are where it's at. Easier to sell em' too; agents gush over short, easy reads.