>>22339743
I ate my girlfriend out when she was on her period.

File: 1357078293329.gif-(534 KB, 427x240, Nosebleed_Kanako.gif)

Got massive nosebleed.
While praising Slaanesh.

I ate my cereal without any milk

>>22339770
FOOL! I HOPE SHE WASN'T DEFENSELESS!

>>22339795
Crazy bastard.

>>22339743
I beat up 10 people
in a video game.

File: 1357078536064.jpg-(86 KB, 900x675, khorne_daemon_prince_by_d(...).jpg)

>>22339781
HOPE YOU LIKE HAVING THIS THING KILLING YOU!

>>22339795
TRY EATING THAT WITH BLOOD INSTEAD, THEN I'LL BE PLEASED.

>>22339843
BEATING UP PEOPLE IN A VIDEO GAME IS A POOR SUBSTITUTE TO THE REAL THING!

File: 1357078838977.gif-(2.62 MB, 260x146, 1350931335987.gif)

>>22339743
I stabbed myself in the hand with a mechanical pencil.

File: 1357078907634.png-(10 KB, 204x155, 1326575284942.png)

>>22339914

I went out sliding in a tube today and accidental knocked over one of my dogs.

File: 1357078977519.gif-(1009 KB, 500x281, 4UniP.gif)

>>22339937

File: 1357079073822.gif-(381 KB, 320x182, 1347701535018.gif)

I wrestled a goat
>>22339957
We derail now?

NURGLE MAKES A THREAD AND IT GOES GREAT! I MAKE A THREAD AND NONE OF MY FOLLOWERS SHOW UP!

>>22340106
Giving people a cold is easier than cutting them down with an axe

>>22340106
Everyone loves Grampa.

You're just that weird uncle.

>>22339870
Maybe they were Captain Crunch.

File: 1357079536597.gif-(1020 KB, 500x281, 1355903171110.gif)

>>22340106
Be fair, >>22340000 is pretty metal.

I tried eating a steak medium rare instead of well done.

>>22340142
I WISH NURGLE WOULD SHOW UP, I HAVE TO TALK WITH HIM!

>>22339743
I destroyed the IG in Dark Crusade
Using only pistol cultists
SO MANY BODIES!

>>22340106
That's because they are too busy killing in your name.

I brought Angron, and FW accidentally gave me a second Angron. So I have 2 Angrons.

I read a book.

Wait, wrong God.

>>22340209
>>22340206
GOOD, GOOD!

File: 1357079882493.jpg-(230 KB, 1088x1232, MOK.jpg)

>>22340209
So did the guy not go through with buying the second one?

>>22339743

Also I marked my skin in your name.

>>22340278
Khorne sucks dick! how about that?

File: 1357080061757.jpg-(9 KB, 251x239, 1351193281756.jpg)

>>22340313
He does.

>>22340292
>Regular tattoo
>not carved into your flesh

2/10 do you even take skulls for the skull throne?

File: 1357080252584.jpg-(214 KB, 1280x1024, Exterminatus2.jpg)

>>22339743
I fooled the inquisition into destroying a pure world through exterminatus In honor of Lord Tzeentch. His wicked blessing of intellect and psyker powers aided me most generously. All hail the Architect of fate!

>>22340399
>implying the destruction wasn't done in the name of Khorne

File: 1357080661529.png-(138 KB, 297x317, Tzeentch Symbol.png)

>>22340413
I planned, plotted, maybe killed or dominated a few officials and fooled a few Slaaneshi cultists into throwing a debauched orgy in front of an Arbites station while telling some Berserkers that there'd be a ton of skulls in the area at the time of said orgy. That was fucking hilarious, they really will get off to anything, even getting their balls ripped off!

It took me a century or two but look at the payoff, all those innocents destroyed because of one man and his sinister plot executed to perfection. I do believe I did my lord proud.

File: 1357080785407.jpg-(161 KB, 444x800, ork_attack_by_jasonjuta-d(...).jpg)

im an ork, and what is this?

>>22339743
I raped a woman then ripped her skull from her body as an offering.
Does this please you and Slaanesh?

>>22340542
You cannot please this two at once! Both of them will get mad!

File: 1357080946948.jpg-(94 KB, 170x293, 1356977201621.jpg)

>>22340498
>fooled into throwing an orgy
>Slaanesh
You're funny Tzeentch. We should "do it" sometime.
>>22340542
Good, but not good enough.
>>22340560
>implying Khorne isn't tsuntsun for me

File: 1357081072373.jpg-(95 KB, 638x500, 2391929-avatarofkhain.jpg)

>>22340578
Tsuntsun for you?

>>22340578
>implying Khorne isn't a Tsundere in general
>Screaming his hate for his own followers
>Constantly giving them helpful mutations

>>22340612
Slaanesh speak. You wouldn't get it.
Tsundere?

>>22339801
She was still alive. She died once I got to the liver.

I got super pissed and stopped playing Binding of Isaac when it froze as I was about to unlock one of the no-hit achievements

only a faggot would develop a game in flash

>>22340721
I had eggs on breakfast.

File: 1357081682617.jpg-(227 KB, 800x618, 20121225_182324.jpg)

I'm working on my Khorne army

>>22340578
Yes you would, but would you do that in front of an Arbites station? Yeah, you would, but at that time and place, with an inquisitor in the building? Your followers aren't entirely stupid, but with my subtle prodding and masterful use of the half-truth they became putty in my hands. It's why my lord likes your followers, such useful patsies.

>>22340790
Fucking Carl. Axe in the wrong hand and all that shit.

File: 1357082394050.jpg-(237 KB, 672x701, sigvald is stupid.jpg)

>>22340865
Slaneeshi followers aren't stupid? Really?

>>22340578
HI SLANEESH!

File: 1357082673758.png-(64 KB, 113x265, would you say no to that.png)

>>22340865
In time, the wants will overpower the will and even the inquisitor can be corrupted. I'm sure that this inquisitor has some very "interesting" thoughts right now.
And don't worry about my followers. I've replaced those balls with a proper hole. My followers consider it a great gift and both they and I thank your Lord for it.
I just wish he wasn't so in love with his job and paid me a visit sometime.
And I wish that you'd take a slight glance at me. Can you do it for this girl?
>>22340987
Nobody talks about him around here.
>>22341021
Hi there! How is your skull collection?

File: 1357082689997.png-(13 KB, 470x605, Maliceangry.png)

>>22341021

Brother are you on another ego trip?

>>22339743
What is up, Khorne. Haven't seen you in a long time. How is it going, man?

Guys can't we all just sit down, watch some TV, relax and order some chicken wings?

File: 1357082909836.png-(14 KB, 470x605, Malicesad.png)

>>22341095
I like that idea, what shall we watch my bloated sibling?

>>22341095
... Yeah. Eat wings. That sounds like a great idea.

fuckyouinsensitivefatfuck

>>22340106
It's not your fault you're not popular.

>>22341110

...I swear I know you.. Bah anytime is good anyone can come little one.

>>22341121

....So~ Variety platter sound good?

Oh Emprah, my head.
Slanessh what did you do to that weed. What the hell happened last night.
Why are my sides still daemonic, but now hot pink.

>>22341055
Honestly? My skull collection is growing ever larger.
>>22341059
You would know, since you are always on a ego trip, Malice.
>>22341082
My memory most be faulty since i can't remember who you are.

>>22341121
>>22341095
HI NURGLE! HI TZEENCH!

File: 1357083306414.jpg-(102 KB, 600x726, 20aff0a8f7e5b34b804c1189e(...).jpg)

>>22341110
Lord of the Rings. They are the PERFECT fantasy movies.
>>22341162
Wait, if Malice is self-loathing of chaos, wouldn't that mean, that he has a low ego?
>>22341161
You like them? I've decided to help you change your style.
*gives you the mirror*
*image is what you see*

File: 1357083317079.jpg-(93 KB, 1024x954, Night_Bringer_by_PabelBilly.jpg)

>>22341162

Come on mate! I am the nightbringer, remember? That Crazy C'tan who goes around killing and eating souls. Me and Mephet'ran went to that party last night?

>>22341142
I....Im your brother....

>>22341228
... Well shit. Esh is going to kill me. Again.

File: 1357083452976.jpg-(144 KB, 1024x768, Tzeentch.jpg)

>>22341055
Only if boning you furthers my plans, same as the great Changer of Ways, we are plotsexual. Can't get it up unless it's all part of our plans. Sex is nice and all, but plotting is more fun and far more fulfilling. I'm sure my joy fed you a bit when my plan came together as I watched that cyclonic torpedo nail the governor's mansion.

Thus, If you want my lord to give you a proper fuck (and he can, for his knowledge includes all things, even sex) I'd suggest you form a plan where he'll have to bed you to further his inscrutable ambitions. Now if only you could stop enjoying yourself for five minutes and think with your brain instead of your multiple genitals you just might land yourself a partner far better than Khorne in the sac.

>>22341228
Not low ego....just low self esteem....

*sniffle*

>>22341232
OH YEAH... HI?

>>22341275
Dude, you were so upbeat yesterday. What happened?

Hey, I heard Khorne was hosting tonight's party!
Whats up everybo-
holy shit, looking good commissar~

File: 1357083819961.png-(13 KB, 415x605, Maliceunappreciated.png)

>>22341313
My brothers never recognize me

I GOT THOSE RAMBO MOVIES IF ANYONE WANTS TO WATCH THEM!

File: 1357083916299.png-(19 KB, 572x794, Malice accepting Slaanesh.png)

>>22341376
Freud Freud Freud Freud Freud Freud Freud Freud

>>22341371
I RECOGNIZE YOU! JUST TRY DOING SUCCESFUL STUFF AND THE OTHERS WILL RECOGNIZE YOU TOO!

I ate both Mexican and Indian food yesterday. My ass is going to shed so much blood for Khorne.

>>22341376
Ooooo lets watch them, I love those movies!

>>22341398
Since when are Harlequins pretending to be Chaos demigods?

File: 1357084115070.png-(39 KB, 788x1330, Cynicalmalice.png)

>>22341419
I trapped a greater demon of Slaanesh in a field that cripples his pleasure sense and Slaanesh didnt even NOTICE.

Attention - Malice is the Starchild. That is all.

>>22341376
Have you ever seen "Equilibrium" Khorne? Has one of the highest body counts in any film. Killed by guns mostly and they didn't show much blood but you just know the cemetery was packed and the blood banks dry by the end of it.

And such poor plotting by the villain, my lord's favor is fickle and hey, after years of tyranny it was time for a change. He has a plan and you should all be glad that you are a part of it.

File: 1357084229946.png-(Spoiler Image, 92 KB, 160x279)

>>22341268
>Only if boning you furthers my plans, same as the great Changer of Ways, we are plotsexual.
Shame. Big shame. It's like you don't even try to be interesting to me. It's always you, you and you.
>think with your brain instead of your multiple genitals
I have you know, I enjoy not just sex. Look at this picture. It's a painting of an Eldar writer and a very good one.
Besides, why bother with the plans if anything will fall into my hands eventually, provided I push the right buttons.
>>22341376
>movies where a half-naked man shoots at people
Ok with me.
>>22341465
And then you give him to me because I birthed you a daemonette.

>>22341465
THAT's BECAUSE SLANEESH IS A ASSHOLE!

>>22341465
>implying taking away their pleasure sense isn't just another perverse pleasure that makes future pleasures more pleasurable

>>22341499
You mean Tzeentch?

File: 1357084309701.png-(36 KB, 788x1330, FUCKYOU.png)

>>22341439
FUCK YOU IM A CHAOS GOD!

>>22341494
I'LL WATCH IT ONE DAY.

>>22341494
Don't forget the guy who got his face cut off!

>>22341495
Thats right dearest....sibling....Now I have to trap another greater daemon. But then again, I do have Abbadons legs and ass, great foot stool it makes.

>>22341523
NO, TZEENCH IS A TROLL AND A JERK. WHERE IS TZEENCH ANYWAY!?

>>22341573
I say her and the big E heading off upstairs a little while ago. Then half the psykers in the room popped.

SO WHICH OF OUR CHAMPION (IS THIS THE RIGHT TERM) IS THE BEST OVERALL? I GOT KHARN!

>>22341616
Nope,just here in the bathroom.

>>22341616
Boner popped or 'Prometheus' head popped?

I get chronic nosebleeds. They generally also cause me to sneeze, launching a hurricane of blood over everything in front of me.

Does that count?

>>22341648
The former, then the latter.
Then all four at once.
The blood was blue.

>>22341526
But you're the dumbest one of them all, Malal. You're like the Ron Paul of the Chaos Gods where only edgy teenagers who want to be special and crumudgeny old timers who actually remember you care about you.

File: 1357084797579.jpg-(86 KB, 387x623, draigo.jpg)

WELL, WELL, WELL, WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE?
LOOKS LIKE I'M SPENDING AN EVENING CARVING MY NAMES ON HEARTS!

FOR THE EMPEROR!

File: 1357084811481.jpg-(698 KB, 1554x2137, Necron_Lord_by_rince.jpg)

...

>>22341523
He only seems to be you know. He's actually quite personable if you are having an intellectual discussion. That might be another way to get his attention Slaanesh. Strike up a discussion about the philosophy of sex or how to integrate fractal equations into artwork or something along those lines. You'll have to work up to it slowly, smart is the new sexy you understand. We don't got time for sex crazed bimbos, prove to him you're more than that.

>>22341573
You just say that because you are so easily played you musclebrained simpleton. Put down the dumbells and pick up a damn book. Assuming you can even read. I know for a fact he went easy on you last time in his plotting just to see if you could catch the obvious hints. You didn't.

File: 1357084827075.png-(42 KB, 762x794, 1 minute painting.png)

>>22341681
Slaanesh cares about me.

I got angry at someone and put my fist through their glass/wood bedroom door. It went through the glass, I didn't even get a scrape.

They were giving me lip. Thank you for watching over me and granting me a measure of intimidating visage, Lord of Skulls!

>>22341637
>Khorne: Kharn the Betrayer, unstoppable monster of death
>Slaanesh: Lusciousness the Eternal, can only fight with swords, will be permanently killed when he dies to a Necron
>Tzeentch: Ahriman the Failure, chronic failure
>Nurgle: Some fat guy

I think your champion is the greatest, Lord Khorne.

>>22341685
He's upstairs. Knock before you go in.

>>22341685
RRRRRRRAAAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!
>KHORNE gets up from the Skull Throne!

>>22341701
>no blood
>praising khorne
The fuck is this shit.

>>22341697

Yo, kiddo why don't ya push that big red button over ther?

>>22341700
*whispers in your ear*
Sorry to tell you that, but while I care about you, my heart belongs to Khorne, just don't tell him that. We can always be friends though.

>>22341708
that's for Marines

Nurgly Daemon champion is pretty neat one, granting benefits to all Papa's unit and not afraid of anything.

>>22341734
He's not just blood, but RAGE.

He instilled me with his FURY!

>>22341716
I really feel that when he wakes up, he'll super appreciate all the work I put into my heart carpentry. I practice all the time.

>>22341638
WHAT TO WATCH A MOVIE, TZEENCH?

>>22341752

BAM! Shot down....Malice just got friendzoned...

>>22341743
The funny thing is Khorne actually did, and my lord had gone to lengths to show him that for the next few days he should do the exact opposite of what he says to avoid unpleasantness and foil his plot. Dumb fool just can't put two and two together. Tzeentch had hopes, having Musclebrain not play perfectly into his hands would have been a welcome change of pace.

>>22341786
I don't think he's sleeping, my friend. Except in the sense of sleeping WITH someone.

>>22341799
Friendzone with benefits. Not such a bad deal, yes?

File: 1357085226378.jpg-(107 KB, 500x362, karl.jpg)

>>22341728
Your bloodletters cannot defeat me!

File: 1357085236142.jpg-(114 KB, 600x600, large.l9t96w3bntq1.jpg)

Do you guys ever think of Korn when people mention Khorne?

>>22341708
>has never seen Typhus in battle.

>>22341697
You know, isn't Tzeentch also a big fan of change? Because, right now I could turn into a sentient sack of vaginas and he wouldn't mind.

File: 1357085248707.png-(37 KB, 788x1330, .....png)

>>22341752
Thats okay Slaanesh. All is well in the kingdom of Malice

>>22341752
THAT'S COLD! YOU DON'T JUST FRIENDZONE SOMEONE LIKE THAT SLANEESH!

>>22341837
It's not much of a change when you are one already. ZING!

>>22341834
Other way around, actually.

Question.
Do I get points for hate if I hate myself?

>>22341837
Indeed he is, but again, for us any seduction must involve plotting and intellect, not the promise of pleasure.

File: 1357085389687.jpg-(293 KB, 1280x1024, armed-and-dangerous[1].jpg)

>>22341834
"...people named their children and pets "khorne"..."

Are you the god of awful avatarfagging?

>>22341832
I DEAL WITH YOU MYSELF, YOU DAMN MARY-SUE!
>KHORNE PICKS HIS AXE AND HIS SWORD.

File: 1357085466385.jpg-(417 KB, 1280x1024, Slaanesh-153102-SweetAngel.jpg)

>>22341837
could turn you*
Although...
>>22341843
>>22341799
>whispers in the ear
>everyone hears it
But...the truth is great...KHORNE, PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME! YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE I EVER LOVED PLATONICALLY!

File: 1357085469055.png-(31 KB, 788x1330, notokay.png)

>>22341843
I was lying all is not fine in the kingdom of malice.

>>22341815
;_;

>>22341896
PROVE IT!

File: 1357085676296.jpg-(8 KB, 160x200, Khorne_Flakes.jpg)

>>22339795
Was it Khorne Flakes?

I fought a battle in Empire total war with 20,000 men and only 500 or so lived to tell the tale.

WHERE IS NURGLE?

>>22341960
>Empire
Pussy, I hope all of your men were sword-armed Sikhs. Ranged weapons are for Slaanesh.

File: 1357085916015.jpg-(1.08 MB, 2056x3276, 1356998535912.jpg)

>>22341932
*grabs a random cultist*
*make blood flow out of his pores*
*bathes in it*
*when the cultist is completely drained, tears off his head*
*tears off his skin and flesh*
*empties it completely and perfectly*
*cleans the skull to the point of being shiny*
Here you go, my love.

File: 1357085935473.png-(19 KB, 1156x588, rejected.png)

>>22341971
Probably off on another cataclysm....

File: 1357086013863.jpg-(62 KB, 677x600, 677px-WH_Faces__4_.jpg)

What's goin' on in this area of the immaterium?

>>22342022
I ACCEPT YOU PROOF OF LOVE.

File: 1357086144800.png-(12 KB, 368x677, malice agitated.png)

>>22342059
FUCKING KHORNE!!!

>>22342087
Look, there are plenty fish in the Warp. I think I still have one of the Eldar goddesses with me.

File: 1357086240327.jpg-(72 KB, 1041x768, friendly_c__tan_nightbrin(...).jpg)

>>22342049
Oh hai yummy treat...er. I mean, guardsman, come and joooooiiiiinnn ussss.

ITT: people mention Luciousness over Fabuluous Bile.

>>22342022
>Slaanesh
>No bulge
I call bullshit.

>>22342107
Nevermind it, I think I will go and be counterproductive to the advance of chaos again...

>>22342124
A bulge in a loincloth?

>>22341889
BRING IT! I SHOWERED IN A BLOOD FROM SOME OF THE PUREST SISTERS OF BATTLE!

File: 1357086411955.jpg-(51 KB, 700x591, WH_Faces__2_.jpg)

Oh look! Skellingtons! 2heretical4me

>>22342124
Chaos gods can change shape. Why would Slaanesh always have a bulge?

>>22342123

>>22342141
>>22342156
Because Slaanesh. I've figured that since they've started stating up Primarchs in Forge World now, eventually we'll get to some craziness like the Chaos Gods and the Emperor.

Slaanesh's weapon? The Bulge. Just "The Bulge".

>>22342142
Kaldor, that's not how you spell "i fucked a bunch of sisters on their periods".

>>22342156

HEY SLANEESH! Kaldor Draigo IS TRYING TO DISRUPT THE PARTY!

>Left head
Malice is the fifth Chaos God!
>Right head
Malice does not exist at all! He's just another of the Great Schemer's lies!

File: 1357086722666.png-(11 KB, 312x677, Mallice.png)

>>22342200
Necron Gods are all Pricks

>>22342189
>>22342142
Draigo, the Emperor is upstairs. You know you want to talk to the master of humanity, don't you?
>>22342181
>Because Slaanesh
>implying the fetishes of Slaanesh aren't fickle and at some point they wouldn't want to be a she

Fun fact: The ancient Terran "Battle of the Bulge" was an early Slaaneshi movement that, at the time, confused the three existing Chaos Gods with its depravity. Khorne was the least freaked out.

File: 1357086866619.jpg-(43 KB, 357x498, Eisenhorn6.jpg)

Excuse me gentlemen my car just broke down and i was wonde.....IN THE NAME OF THE HOLY EMPEROR WHAT'S GOING ON HERE???!?!!?

>>22342227

that's tzeentch's man. yah dope! We don't have a "Fateweaver", the only C'tan close to that is my bro, Mephet'ran...

It's okay Malice, hey if i got a beautiful wife, then i'm sure you can get a great wife too

>Email
Man that was embarassing

>>22342233
Your tricks will not work on me foul daemon!

>>22339743
I commit the genocide of thousands of children each and every night.

File: 1357087211607.png-(16 KB, 522x677, Malicerebel.png)

>>22342275
Screw it, im joining the Imperial Guard

>>22342283
HEY NURGLE, WANT TO WATCH A MOVIE?

File: 1357087274281.jpg-(33 KB, 213x310, slaanesh.jpg)

>>22342313
No, I'm serious. He's upstairs talking to Tzeentch.
Though, I suppose, that's not what you've came here to do now, now is it?
Look at me. Serve me. Fuck me.

>Left head
The Emperor is alive!
>Right head
The Emperor is dead!

File: 1357087371893.jpg-(20 KB, 242x250, Emperor40K.jpg)

>>22342313
Hello.

File: 1357087380330.jpg-(161 KB, 810x1028, Custodian_Throne_Room_Guardian.jpg)

Hey sorry to interrupt whatever you guys are doing, but big E wants to know where you guys keep the booze around here.

>>22342270
>Car breaks down
>Outside the Fortress of Khorne in the warp

>>22342368
Sure buddy
I just rent "O BattleBrother, Where Art Thou?"

Wanna watch it?

>>22342403
Hey Big E.

>>22342413
What happens in the movie, just don't spoil it for me.

>>22342452
Who are you?

>>22342477
I am Malice, the Chaos god that is hated by all the other Chaos God. I am Chaos working against itself.

File: 1357087922295.gif-(87 KB, 500x329, Creed.gif)

>>22342503

Chaos Working against itself, eh?

>>22342469
So a bunch of Space Marines are stuck in Commoragh and they're trying to reach back Terra.
During the travel they face hijinks, like a Genestealer Cult and Sexy Sexy Eldars.

It's apparently based on the book released by Lord Homer "Odissey in Space"

>>22342548
Yep, I am the despised renegade Chaos God.

File: 1357088085253.jpg-(188 KB, 767x1251, Kharn-bloodied.jpg)

>>22341708
DOOMBREED ALWAYS SAYS HES KHORNES FAVORITE BUT ITS NOT TRUE>

>>22342503
I could live for centuries and still not understand the gods of chaos. I should really take the time to learn about the enemy more

File: 1357088182703.jpg-(192 KB, 700x700, superawesomebadassfuckyeah.jpg)

>>22339743
HEY BIG K. I FISTED FAILBADDON LAST NIGHT. MAYBE YOU COULD THROW A CRUSADE MY WAY HMMMMMMMM

>>22342618
I could give you Lorgar's vox, if you want. He's got a lot to saw about Chaos.

>>22342630
Yeah, give Kharn a crusade!

>>22342405
He is not a clever man.

File: 1357088391010.jpg-(170 KB, 600x1000, Kharnveryangry.jpg)

>>22342655
HEY BUDDY. UP HIGH!


SO UH ANYBODY SEEN CYPHER AROUND LATELY?

>>22342684
Hey man, what's u-CRUNCH-
Well shit.

kharn, why did i wake up with your necklace in my ass.

>>22342677
>>22342405
>>22342270
That reminds me. I have to do our chaos god party/meeting next. Unless, Tzeentch would like to do it before me.

File: 1357088568894.png-(19 KB, 510x546, 1315392773976.png)

er, hey guys, we just found these two terminator arms with a Lightning Claw and a sword laying around.

Hope everyone's cool with us taking them home, heard you guys were the one's to ask about it.
>>22342684
Thanks for the axe, by the way.

>>22342724
Heh, hehe. Good job, mates. All part of the plan.

>>22342655
That might not end well for me

>>22342718
I just want to say that i'm a married man, so i politely asks you to decrease a little your usual stuff

She is a very frail and timid girl

>>22342753
You can always stay at my Malice fortress.

>>22342753
Come on, give it a shot. He's a real pious bloke, very accepting. You'd love him.

File: 1357088851694.jpg-(320 KB, 1150x1500, Khorne-and-Slaanesh.jpg)

HEY BIG K. NICE ONE!
>>22342724
DON"T HURT MY BABY!
>>22342714
THERE YOU ARE.
YOU KNOW WHY

>>22342741
>>22342741
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT SIR.

I also DO NOT want to thank you for giving us pointers to Magnus' armoury so we can get back our pre heresy gear.
That was NOT incredibly helpful and we WON'T be very grateful.

File: 1357088898312.jpg-(41 KB, 350x495, ngbbs4a0b4fa65a7fc.jpg)

>>22339743

I HAVE SKULL FUCKED MANY OF HIS WORSHIPERS IN GLORIOUS BATTLE!
IS THIS WHAT PASSES FOR FURY AMONGST YOU HERETICS!
COME YOU FALLEN HERETICS!
COME FACE THE ONE TRUE MIGHT OF THE UNIVERSE; AND WITHER UNDER THE GOLDEN THRONE'S GAZE!

>>22342759
Well, I know that. As long as you don't tell her what happened yesterday, everything should be fine. Also, did she ask where those daemonnetes came from?

>>22342787
hey now
i didnt say it was a bad thing

>Something is happening to Khorne!

File: 1357088973917.gif-(219 KB, 455x364, limit break.gif)

>>22342787

>>22342776
As long as he is over the whole Emperor putting at detachment pf cutodes to watch over him
>>22342763
Right now it's the time of the Millennium were we redecorate the palace so the custodes will be busy until the emprah is happy were we put everything

>>22342787
Of course we didn't steal it! How can you possibly accuse us of such a…
wait, what?

I guess Kyras was right, you are a swell guy.
Don't worry, we've got the finest gear from Mars and Vulkan to maintain it!

File: 1357089109754.png-(14 KB, 470x677, maliceend.png)

>>22342817
Well, thats it, I shall will myself into unreality

I immolated 3 forts filled with dwarves

(on accident)

File: 1357089199096.jpg-(267 KB, 1300x1600, Khorne Roman.jpg)

Speaking of Khorne, the Lexicanum article on his realm, the Fortress of Khorne, is sorta funny.

>"The Fortress of Khorne is Khorne's realm within the Warp. It is a monument to fury and bloodshed, and is built upon foundations of murder and conflict. This blood-soaked realm echoes constantly with Khorne's bellows and the clash of weapons. At the centre of this mighty fortress lies the Brass Citadel, where Khorne's mighty throne resides. He sits atop a mountain of skulls, those slain in his name. A great fire pit lights Khorne's gloomy chamber, the dark flames consume the souls of cowards who have fled from battle. Around the citadel flows a moat, and is filled not with water, but with the boiling blood of those who have lost their lives to war. Beyond this moat lies league upon league of cracked land, littered with the ravaged bones of those fallen in battle. A mighty crevasse splits the wasteland in two, a canyon many miles long and bottomless. It is said that Khorne himself was once consumed by such rage that he took up his sword and smote the ground, splitting it asunder for eternity. This fell sword is known by many names including 'Warmaker' and the 'End of All Things', and is capable of laying waste to worlds with a single blow.[2]"

Every sentence has like BLOOD, MURDER, BATTLE, MORE BLOOD, SOME SKULLS, and violence in general. Its like Tourettes Hell.

>>22342817
>Your KHORNE is evolving!

File: 1357089209219.jpg-(748 KB, 815x880, nokharnnoooooo.jpg)

>>22342802
ILL SHOW YOU FURY. ILL BET IVE KILLED MORE OF KHORNES GUYS THAN YOU AND IM ONE OF THEM>
>>22342813
IT WASNT! IT WAS GOOD!
KHARN HAS NO EQUAL IN PILLOW TALK

>>22341436
Sometimes, Khorne DOES care from whence the blood flows...

>>22342817
Honey, are you feeling alright?

>>22342817
>Khorne changed into Horus!
Hi!

>>22342873
My lord is a god of simple tastes. He's direct and to the point, like the knife I just put in your gut.

Well, yesterday I rode over my graphic tablet cord with my chair and sewered it.
I had no one to blame for it, it happened right before the holidays, I have no money and that tablet is the only thing that stops me from (rightfully) believeing that I'm worthless.
I was so angry, but got overwhelmed by despair and had to go into my room and cry for a bit.

Ah, sorry for leaving for a bit, had to go do the "Kiritsugu Special" to a rival sorcerer. Couldn't resist he set himself up for that one perfectly. Honestly, holing up at the top of the spire is always a bad idea. The real smart route for lair location is to have it somewhere in the lower level slums and make it as unassuming as possible. I lived in a tiny shack for a long while, only going into the proper residential areas when I needed to (like when I was watching the orgy/bloodbath in front of the Arbites station. Was so glad I remembered to bring popcorn and a beer for that one. Again. Fucking. HILARIOUS!)

>>22342759
You really should give her back to her proper owner pussbucket. Though I do salute how you plotted to get her. Still hate your disgusting pustule ridden guts though.

>>22342718
Do remember, my lord and that "thing" don't very much get along. So you are at least preferred in that you and your followers are actually quite helpful to him. But again, heed my advice. We want our babes to be smart and devious. Play that angle up hard and we will hit it.

File: 1357089353838.png-(485 KB, 800x533, 1337401133701.png)

>>22342880

YOU DID NOT JUST ISSUE A CHALLENGE TO A BLACK TEMPLAR! OH YOU DID! YOU FUCKING DID!

CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL!

File: 1357089421070.jpg-(52 KB, 676x600, Khorne!.jpg)

>>22342802
Bloody, dying templar is best templar

>>22342873
>Blood and blood-related stuff mentioned 3 times.

I SKULLFUCKED YOUR MOTHER!

>>22342920
I like this guy! Two thirds of what he's saying is worth listening to!

File: 1357089498816.png-(19 KB, 470x677, malicedead.png)

*Pzzzzt*

File: 1357089540137.jpg-(537 KB, 527x800, Black_Templar_Killing_the(...).jpg)

>>22342936
Dead heretic impaled on powersword is best heretic.

>>22342797
I'm sorry I won't tell you any more pointers. Not even the ones with Iron warriors, World eaters, Death Guard, and the Word bearers.

>>22342863
Dwarves? Oh, you mean Squats? Shame what happen to them...damn...shame...

>>22342976
Didn't you knew?

Squats are back

I SHOVED THE INFECTED PUBIC HAIRS OF CHRISTINA AGUILARA INTO MY ENEMIES WOUNDS, then shat on a turtle

>>22342959

Oh goody, you died. I want to see if I can eat his soul!

File: 1357089666570.jpg-(20 KB, 267x200, Khitten.jpg)

>>22342920
KHARN AND KHITTEN CAN PLAY THAT GAME.

KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN!

>>22342981
>>22342976
Look, we've apologized time and time again for that!

We didn't know they were in there, our warehouses are sodding enormous!

I SHOVED MY CHAINSWORD INTO ONE OF THE MANY ORIFICES OF NURGLE, and he loved it

I was in a bar fight on new years.

>>22342981
No, they aren't. Squats aren't GW IP. The guy who made them copyrighted them in his name and took them with him when he left GW.

File: 1357089758641.png-(15 KB, 592x526, Maliceemptyskull.png)

>>22342993

>>22342970
incidentally that Bloodthirster went on to not only kill that Emperor's Champion, but the Castellan and the Marshal.

File: 1357089816426.jpg-(532 KB, 541x870, john-gravato-heavy-bolter.jpg)

>>22343002
CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL! CLEANSE! PURGE! KILL!

IN THE EMPEROR'S NAME LET NONE SURVIE

>>22343007
I heard news reports of that how do you get a heavy bolter to do that exactly

>>22342916
Keep this in mind: though, you are loyal to Tzeentch, you are not his voice. And Tzeentch's schemes run much deeper than you think. I know that. I've fucked him before. How do you think he has daemonettes?
>>22342959
I guess this is the prime example of chaos working against itself.
RIP Malice. I'll take care of your malicettes.

I created a mountain of skulls, some skullmen, and some skullballs, and went sledding down skull mountain while throwing skullballs at the skullmen

>>22343032

I think i have an FoK Dark crusade replay in which two squads of sword brethren and a dreadnought with Emps champ and charlie chaplain slaughter khorne world eaters without losing a single man.

I keep trying to have sex with skulls, but its just too damn hard without the wet bits.

>>22343021
Squats are back as of 6th Edition

Look it up

>>22343051
When working with Heavy Bolters, go Vulkan made, Tarkus Swears by them

>>22343100
>using projectile weapons
Pffft. Weaklings. How are you supposed to bath yourself in the blood of your foes if you aren't up in their face as they die?

Khorne! I love you! I want you to have my baby!

File: 1357090194039.jpg-(6 KB, 213x120, 1331006117337.jpg)

>>22343100
>oh god my sides

>>22343028

Is Khorne going to put that on his throne? If he wont, I will take it.

>>22343109

Well guardsman, You first gather all the blood of your foes from the battlefield... Then you bath in that!

I let my girlfriend bang me in the ass, but...

I killed like 5 people yesterday, so its okay.

>>22343109
It makes bloody enormous (no pun intended) mess of the gear, then Martellus gives us an earful when he's repainting it.

Trust me, nobody nags like a techmarine.

What does khorne do with the abnormal skulls? Does he fling them into the river of blood, or do they hold a unique place amongst the skull throne?

File: 1357090398356.jpg-(88 KB, 900x684, THANKSBROILLTRYNOTTOKILLYOU.jpg)

>>22343109
KHARN AGREES. DOWN LOW!
>>22343002
KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN!

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! HEY BOSS! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE! GET HIM KHITTEN! RIP HIS BALLS OFF!

>>22343143
Alternatively, you can use a basilisk, aim at the enemy, fire.
BOOM! Instant blood shower.

Does khorne approve of skull bowling? Or is there some sort of skull quota he has to meet, and can't spare any skulls for leisure or recreational activity?

I've hit a goblin so hard with a battleaxe that I literally turned it into a puddle of juices and pulp.

File: 1357090555844.png-(12 KB, 570x643, Malicealive.png)

Does anyone know where the rest of me is?

>>22343143
What the hell do you think I've been doing? BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

>>22343172
Just a minute, my hands are full of eldar guts.
>mfw I actually managed to kill one of those coneheaded fuckers.
>mfw I have no face due to his firelance
Worth it.

>>22343147
You have red armor. Red. Fucking. Armor.
How would anyone even tell, or fucking care?

File: 1357090587032.png-(Spoiler Image, 353 KB, 491x800)

>>22343053
Oh yes I do know that I am but a mere pawn on his chessboard despite serving loyally and righteously for centuries. I've talked to him many times, becoming something of a prophet for my lord for the cultists in my sector of the galaxy. They are the most fulfilling, enlightening, and edifying days of my life.

He is inscrutable, his knowledge infinite. Thus, a limited mind like mine or yours will never truly understand him. I'm just trying my best to help you out here. It has been a long time since he's seen any action and that needs to change.

Also I do like you somewhat, your followers are the only ones I can have an intellectual and serious conversation with. Granted they're usually in the middle of sex or request that I talk whilst I screw them. I do sometimes, but the sex I can take or leave. The plotting mind needs a breath of fresh air to recharge sometimes and discussing the finer points of theology, philosophy, and science relaxes me to no end but some of them are quite good at multitasking.

ooh, ooh, i know!

What does Khorne do with those floatie skully things the emporium uses?

>>22343213
Check in Fenris.

>>22343226
Well, the only ones I can stand talking to besides my fellow believers and such, but that is a given.

>>22343221
That's exactly what hairgel said!

But no, he STILL moaned about it. Said something about He'd know, and that's what matters.

I swear to the Emperor, that guy's got an Augmetic period.

File: 1357090809916.png-(15 KB, 570x643, Ohtzneetchstop.png)

>>22343226
Oh brother, you are making me blush. I killed myself only to get Khornes hat without him noticing. To accomplish something.

>>22343069
That can happen too, especially if you are facing a shitty comp on easy. I was playing online with a few mates. You should know how to back the berzerkers with fire power and tanks, not even BT can stand against Khorne if you play them well. Nurgle is also solid, they eat up sword bearers along with the Chosen Khorne champions.

Hey I hear I missed one hell of a bash last night, so we partying again or what?

I brought the noise marines, things are about to get loud.

I follow Tzeentch, I like psychic powers and hawks and books can I chill with you guys?

File: 1357090949406.jpg-(374 KB, 636x900, Kharnhangingout.jpg)

>>22343226
HEY HEY TZEENTCH GUY! WHAT IF. WHAT IF THERE WAS NO PLAN?

>>22343228
He packs melta bombs in them and skips them across the river of blood that forms after every battle. One time it skipped eighty-six times before it crashed into a thunderhawk! It was occupied.
They were assholes anyway.

>>22343329
What now, birdfuckers?

KHORNE! I FARTED LOUDLY! DOES THIS PLEASE YOU?

File: 1357091065470.png-(297 KB, 500x500, Basilisk.png)

>>22343312
Ahhh yeeeeaaahhh. I also brought Basilisk as well for extra loudness. Let me get them from the back of Khorne's fridge...

>>22343344
Not if it was wet with blood, and your head promptly fell off and stripped itself down to tis skull while simultaneously yelling Skull for the Skull Throne and Blood for the blood god.

>>22343329
Hey kharn still praising slaanesh with cypher behind khornes back are we?

It's alright he doesn't need to know just let me know if you ever want to make it a pantheon.

File: 1357091148927.jpg-(69 KB, 800x708, 94943_md-Catachan, Conver(...).jpg)

DUAH, I SMASH SKULL GOOD!

>>22343329
Ah but there is, and you thinking there is no plan is in fact a key part of it. He plays us all, myself included. We believers are better off than everyone else because we *know* we are being played and will be disposed of if it is convenient to our lord. I shall continue to serve him regardless. To see the fruition of his ultimate inscrutible plan, to see the greatest, most convoluted, most epic of all plans play out, and to be a part of that great tapestry no matter how small... There is no greater joy.

>>22343329
There's always a plan, it just never comes out to Tzeentch's desires; not like he or his followers will admit it. Heh, heh.

>>22343344
Good work soldier, You'll make a good trooper for the Noise mariens of slaanesh or the marines of nurgle... just stand riiiiiiiiight over there.

File: 1357091296478.png-(Spoiler Image, 81 KB, 350x350)

>>22343411
Something's weird about creed today. I can't quite put my finger on it...

File: 1357091299359.png-(170 KB, 243x459, happy_slaanesh.png)

>>22343226
I know just a way to get Tzeentch to see action. After all, having more tzeentchian daemonettes wouldn't hurt?
Also, despite my love of Khorne, Tzeentch is one of the entertaining chaos gods in bed Malice is second *wink**wink**nudge**nudge*. Being everchanging and having great plans makes for an unbelievable experience.
And really, no hard feelings towards you either. I like Tzeentch as a friend, but he'd be so much better, if he'd just unwind for a bit. Still, nothing compared to Khorny.

>>22343329
dude, I've always wondered, where the fuck did your left arm armour go?

I know for a fact that we had nothing to do with that particular one.

>>22343388
Good Work Soldier, keep smashing those skulls, limit Khorne's ability to collect ALL the Skulls.

>>22343425
What is it with you and Khorne?

File: 1357091358462.jpg-(114 KB, 500x728, Verydisappointedinyou.jpg)

>>22343386
KHORNE HAS MANY FACETS OF BLOOD WORSHIP. YOU COULDNT HANDLE IT SNAKE BOY.

>>22343384

I RIPPED OFF A TANK TREAD WITH MY TEETH, THEN HEADBUTTED A BASILISK ROUND AS IT WAS COMING OUT THE BARREL!

GOTTA GO, THERE'S A SITUATION THAT REQUIRES MY ATTENTION BUT I'LL RETURN AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! KEEP THE PARTY GOING!

>>22343430
I heard it get stuck when he shoved his entire arm into a gargantuan squiggoth's ribcage, and he didn't notice that it didn't come out with his arm when he ripped it's spine out.
Kharn's so cool.

>>22343423
I think he's fine. It's not like the exposure to the warp here is effecting any of us....