Stuff happened, hipster got killed, military hired you to help out because you lied through your ass about what you knew. Like you were about to refuse once you found out there were monstergirls on the other side. In your initial foray into the new world, you managed to meet a night post batgirl (who you are corrupting to your point of view day by day), drank a red oni with anger management issues under the table (and woke up two days later), lit a castle on fire no less than twice, shot the local Lord because he was a dick, Rick Astleyed your way into the beginnings of a harem (a goal which you are unabashedly honest about), and hooked up a Spec Ops bro with an airheaded bubble slime. You also somehow gave birth to an alcoholic miniature slimegirl. Who lives in your sinus.

You've also managed to steal a tank (twice), blow up a Humvee (accidental good shot), piss off anyone with any authority whatsoever, and nail a bisexual batgirl and NOT get beaten to death for it. And you're only getting started. YOU SHALL CONQUER THIS WORLD AND RULE WITH AN ALCOHOL-SOAKED FIST! Which will be entirely tolerable because everyone will be too drunk to care.

And now, having FINALLY begun your journey to beyond the first village you've encountered in what you call Riftia (despite many attempts to correct you), you are faced with what could possibly the most important decision of your life.

WHICH WAY DO YOU TURN?

[ ] [turn left]

[ ] [turn right]

[ ] [just go straight until you hit something]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

>>22259009
>[ ] [turn left]
because horns are cool.

>>22259009
TO LEFT!

>>22259009
[X] [turn right]

We had a dog. His name a was Patrasche, but then some punk stole him.

Previous Threads:

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?searchall=HoboQuest

All updates are posted on the @HoboRiftQuest Twitter.

I always forget SOMETHING when posting a new thread.

Rolled 16

>>22259009
>[ ] [imbibe liquor]
>[ ] [just go straight until you hit something]
>[ ] [imbibe liquor]

Current vote count:

Left - 2
Right - 1
Straight - 1

Only two imbibe liquor votes!? WHY, /tg/, WHY.

>>22259452
>[]Imbibe Liquor
>[]Drive Up. Straight Up.

>>22259469
HOHO! A CLEVER ONE!

In the absence of enough votes to make the decision meaningful, everyone roll 1d20. Highest roll wins.

Rolled 17

>>22259948
Come on Straight Up!

File: 1356678084448.gif-(868 KB, 500x267, tumblr_medv2jCS4o1rkejpno2_500.gif)

Rolled 1

>>22259948
I vote to turn Left!

Rolled 16

>>22259973
Seconding

Rolled 17

>>22259948
We can only go right if we strike the earth.

Rolled 11

>>22259993
THEN WE STRIKE THE EARTH!

Rolled 17

>>22259973
to the skies!

By which i mean turn left.

>>22260036

Rolled 17

>>22259973
>>22259993
>>22260036
Welp

What the fuck, 17s everywhere.

BUT I SPY A 1.

Rolled 20

>>22260059
Ha.

>>22260069
You bastards always take the road less traveled don't you.

FINE.

File: 1356678512643.jpg-(24 KB, 500x252, tumblr_m3ds1ncByV1rurzxho1_500.jpg)

>>22260066
There is a 20 but I win because lowers are better!

In your infinite wisdom, you decide to turn left!

....This proves to be a horrible, fatal mistake.

The left proves too powerful. You cannot take it. You scream as everything on your body becomes left. Your fingers, your eyes, your toes, your wibbly bits....everything is now left. And because it is left, it cannot be right. The pain is excruciating, and yet, it does not feel wrong. It feels left.

But the left is not satisfied with molding you in it's own image, no. Instead, it will make you a PART of its very essence. You gurgle as your are consumed, your vision fading to black as you become one with the left.

Leeeeeeeeft.

>NOW YOU'RE GETTING VORED BY DIRECTIONS
>FUCK IF I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON EITHER

>>22260204
>because it is left, it cannot be right

Clearly you haven't gone left enough times. Enough lefts eventually gets you right.

>>22260204
Just keep turning left, we will become right at one point!

File: 1356679465120.jpg-(40 KB, 630x686, Lincoln Ponf.jpg)

>>22260204

i promised you the doodles i done at work, so the doodles i done at work you get...

CAUTION! some of these are wrong and make little to no sense

commencing dump.
[1/5]

File: 1356679498206.jpg-(24 KB, 350x335, Lincoln World Domination.jpg)

>>22260318

[2/5]

File: 1356679531641.jpg-(47 KB, 866x878, LincolnxMoiraxFaye.jpg)

>>22260327

[3/5]

File: 1356679566261.jpg-(62 KB, 870x852, Lincolns Guide to Army Base.jpg)

>>22260332

[4/5]

File: 1356679605056.jpg-(61 KB, 704x850, Lincolns Guide to Riftia.jpg)

>>22260344

[5/5]

so, what does everyone think of my madness?

>>22260355
I think the you should avoid drawing bed top sports for indoor types, and continue with your Hobo's guide to the land of Monster girls.

>>22260355
>>22260344
>>22260450

I agree. This is probably an accurate representation of what Lincoln would probably draw if asked to draw anything.

I bet "The Hobo's Guide to the Land of Monstergirls" would sell like mad.

Well, you always were terrible at making decisions. You're also terrible at following the rules. So you know what? You'll follow your Hobo Logic. FUCK decisions. You're just going to go every direction at once.

"FULL SPEED AHEAD!" You roar, swigging down another bottle of brandy before breaking it over your head and pushing every button, pedal, wheel, and lever in sight.

The Abrams lurches too and fro as you drive the tank wherever the fuck the alcohol tells you to go, the shopping carts clattering along behind you like some demented game of Snake.

"MOOOOOORE DAKKA!" You scream, giving the tank full reign over it's own destination as you clamber up into the turret, smashing a shell into the breech and immediately begin firing at hell if you know.

Because it's not important if you're not accomplishing anything.

You are bored, and YOU SHALL BE ENTERTAINED.

---15 MINUTES LATER---

"..........What the fuck is he doing." Johnson asks, not even having enough energy left to be angry anymore.

The sight that greets his eyes when he finally leads his small convoy of vehicles through the rift is that of an M1A2 Abrams driving in a drunken path of circles, squares, and somehow even hexagons all over the immediate area. The cannon is....somehow......pointed straight up, and by the number of craters littered around, it's been firing for a while.

"If we die out here, it's because this idiot will have consumed all of our supplies or blown them to kingdom come." Johnson miserably laments, smashing his head against the horn of his Humvee.

"HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK!" You scream along with the Humvee's blaring.

----20 MINUTES LATER---

"Hey, it's (hic) not MY fault I couldn't get the tank to stop. Thing has a mind of its own, I (hic) swear." You giggle, though you're not entirely sure why. Sometimes your jokes fly over your own head. Oh well, you're sure somebody else sees the hilarious.

"I was telling you how to stop it. For ten minutes. I was literally SHOUTING IT INTO THE TANK HATCH. YOU WERE RIGHT FUCKING THERE, YOU ALCOHOLIC MANIAC." Johnson seethes at you as you sit on top of the bridge layer, once again out of his strangling range.

"Yeah, well, that's just your (hic) opinion." You confidently declare. Deciding that the argument has been decided, you crack open another bottle of vodka and begin to indulge.

"Deep breaths, Johnson. Deeeeep breaths." Fritz pats the twitching CO on the shoulder as he begins to grind his teeth audibly.

"Fine." He spits out. "Let's just figure out where we're going so we can get this mission underway. Maybe we'll run into something dangerous. Something dangerous that's attracted to the smell of alcohol." He grumbles as he pulls out his copy of Faye's map.

"Like I said before, we have three options. We either head towards the human kingdoms and scope out the nature of these countries, head straight towards the foxgirls' village and then continue straight on into non-human and demon territory, or we could head north and make a beeline for the coast, try to figure out what's going on sea-wise."

You think your expert Hobo Opinion is needed here. Not that you weren't just going to scream it at them anyway.

[ ] [human kingdoms to the east]

[ ] [non-human lands to the northwest]

[ ] [head north to the coast]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

>>22260603
To the Sea. It calls for me!

>>22260617

we still need to liberate LINCOLN'S CASTLE from the evil control of LORD FAGOTFACE!!!

TO OUR CASTLE!!!!

>>22260620
Jumped the gun, but anyways:
[X] [head north to the coast]

>>22260617
NORTH!

Much as I want to keep writing as soon as possible, this is one of those "pivotal" choices in quests. So imma wait for more responses.

In retrospect, perhaps starting the quest at midnight was not the wisest choice. But I never said I was wise. Or sober.

[x] [non-human lands to the northwest]

we need more fox girls

>>22260947

How about writing an make? Maybe of what Zuli was up to for the two days we were out for after the drinking contest?

>>22261035
That mostly consisted of stomping around, sulking and punching anyone who dared talk or even come close to her.

>>22261035
Damn auto correct. Teach me for not proof reading... I mean Omake not make...

>>22261050

And that would not make for interesting stuff? What about some self exposition? She wants to deny it, but Lincoln beating her in that drinking contest gave her some conflicting emotions, thusly allowing for development.

Rolled 8

>>22260617
[ ] [non-human lands to the northwest]

more monstergirls and perhaps a wizard to magic up the tank.

Rolled 6

>>22261218

No Lincoln, YOU are the Wizards...

well, they said we could be anything, so we became Wizards...

>>22261278
And now I am imagining the hobo preaching to a group of monster girls convincing them to call him, "your tankliness"

>>22261312
On that note, imma go take another nap until a decision is made. It's slow tonight, anyway.

Rolled 7

>>22261565
add one more vote to non-human lands

File: 1356686413544.png-(109 KB, 600x400, Oni.png)

Rolled 7

If any of you thought I wouldn't use this thread as an excuse to draw a heavy weapons red Oni girl - you were wrooooooooooong.

Oh my god how do I oni

How do I bulletproof vests

HOW DO I WEAPONS AURGH

>>22261665

hell, better than any of my stuff....

except the 'Lincolns Guide to' series. those i feel are acceptable.

>>22261589
Nice try, bub. At least I know what to write about when I wake up, assuming a bunch of people don't flood in and outvote you all.

>>22261665
Well shit, actual talented drawfaggotry. In my thread. Wasn't expecting that.

This gives me hope that we may eventually find out what Lincoln's face looks like.

>>22261733
I say go to foxgirl village. Gotta set up them logisticals.

>>22261733

NEVER!!!! Lincolns face is something that NO MORTAL can look upon, as it will make men wish to be him, and women wish to be WITH him.....

that and it is nice to have a faceless protagonist...


Deadbrain, feel free to apply your skill to my sketches, assuming that they are in any-way helpful in the artistic process... i only scraped a pass in Modeling and Animation...

All hail Lordhobo Bismuth!

Man, Lincoln is starting to shape into a xenos loving, drunken god-emprah of th -BLAM- HERESY!!!

[X] split the party
Us the girls and Fritz go to non- human lands while Johnson and the others go to human kingdoms.

>>22261953

i add my vote to this, though we still need to liberate our castle from lord fagotface...

Rolled 18

switching my vote from>>22261589
to >>22262004

plan sounds the best, we get monster girl shenanigans and the Bruce's (fuck anyone who says they're not Bruce's) can go operate operationally

This way Johnson won't get in the way of our HOBO SWAG and can deal with lord dickweed while avoiding his voreophobia.

File: 1356690940007.gif-(2.89 MB, 220x124, OgonnaO.gif)

>>22262209

yes, those Bruce's can go operate over there, away from us...

but Fritz stays, to 'keep an eye' on us.
and by 'keep an eye' i mean, Learn the ways of MonsterGirl Seduction so he can 'enjoy' his 'time' with Bubbleslimegirl (i have forgotten her name, and CBA to find it on the archives...)

I wonder if Minerva has met 192-slime yet?

>>22261733
>>22261857

I personally agree with the 'no-face' bit, I tried drawing him before and it came out pretty shitty to be honest. Lincoln's looks depends on the person who's reading the quest. For example - I always imagined him looking like Fidel Castro for some reason. Yes, even after I realized they shaved his beard.

As for the sketches - might use some of the ideas. Especially Zuli punching Lincoln. That'd be fun to draw.

I actually have more plans for this thread: Spec Ops Foxgirls, Mafia-Suit Zuli, Maaaaaaaybe Batgirl-Bomber Moira. Batgirls are hard to draw.

Being the shameless man I am I MIGHT try to draw some more racy stuff. But that thing is like soap to me. I sometimes manage to get a firm grip on it, sometimes it bounces around the room covering everything in we-I don't even know where I'm going with this metaphor. Yeah.

A few days ago I was drawing rebel snakemen in pilotkas, and wondering where my life is going. Now I'm pretty sure it's going in questionable but GREAT direction.

File: 1356694152576.jpg-(14 KB, 500x488, 371.jpg)

>>22262851

Also any critique about my drawing? I'm always open to opinions.

And requests. If you have any specific character you want me to draw. Post it. I'll try to do my best.

Amazing pic DeadBrain.
As for suggestions maybe Faye hiding from Zuli after 192- proof fun?

Rolled 1

>>22262876
Mini-Slimegirl Peace Summit.

>>22263506
And THAT is the second natural 1 I've rolled tonight.

/tg/ dice.

Rolled 7

>>22262876
Picture's good. The oni is great, and the armor's fine. The gun could use some shading, but otherwise it's great.

I'm digging the short hair.

>>22263520

don't forget Bright's uncalled 1...

but have you recovered from Newtype Pressure now?

File: 1356708137531.jpg-(57 KB, 500x372, kamina.jpg)

>>22260327
Well now I'm thinking Lincoln is Kamina. Because capes and MANLINESS. So, for my direction...
STRAIGHT UP.

>>22262876
A tiny bit more muscle is my only suggestion. It's a good picture.

>>22262876

i do sketch art so i can't really comment on your style, though what i will say is that wings are hard... even after mass producing 20 sets of wings, i still can't get them right...

>>22264514
He's well on his way to becoming one of the Invisible Clergy at this point.

File: 1356713494867.png-(485 KB, 1200x1000, RebelSnake.png)

Rolled 12

>>22263506

Never drew a slime girl before, but I'll give it a shot. Will post sketches and such.

>>22264097

I actually forgot to shade it. And draw a magazine. And make sure it makes sense. I bet /k/ would laugh their lungs out. And they'd be right.

>>22264717

I originally wanted to give her gloves/clothes that would make her arms look bigger, so I kept them a bit thin. The idea was scrapped, but the arms stayed. Will take the advice into account next time. Thanks anon!

>>22264773

Wings are a bitch to draw yeah. Fortunately, after drawing a fuckton of dragon sketches for the past few years, I know how to draw bat wings a bit more better than feathered wings. I still have a problem with scaling/attaching them to a human skeleton though.

(Also posting an unfinished snakeman because fuck it, I'm drunk)

>>22265281

in regards to slimes, i can never get it to look right. not dittos, not slimes not goo. i just can't get the hang of partially solid forms...

>>22265281
>I bet /k/ would laugh their lungs out. And they'd be right.
I thought the entire thing was a flamethrower at first.

Rolled 10

>>22265486

It's actually a mash-up of M2HB and M240 with an underslung flamethrower.

No don't ask me how that works. I have no idea.

>>22261665
Do you even operate?

>>22265542

some advice in regards to the underslung flamethrower, have the trigger be a thumb button on the forward grip. that way, you could technically fill people with flaming bullets, that or shoot them on fire... or set them on fire while filling them with bullets... or some other combination of shooting and burning...

capcha suggests you call it 'the manslayer', not sure if ominous warning or great success...

File: 1356715886408.jpg-(63 KB, 665x300, M2HB.jpg)

>>22265542
Well, if it's an M2-base, you should mount the forward handle and any accessories to the heat shield extension of the receiver. The barrel is removable (like on most machine guns to swap for a cool one) and on the Ma Deuce the barrel recoils partway before the bolt unlocks. And since both are belt-fed she could probably use a backpack-mounted ammo can to feed it.

Pic for scale. On the back the "butterfly" is the trigger, and there's a bolt release in the middle that locks it to the rear when not held down by its clip. Also, it weighs 84 pounds.

Rolled 18

>>22260617
>[ ] [get more drunk]
>[ ] [get in the turret of the tank]
>[ ] [spin the turret]
>[ ] [fire off a shot]
>[ ] [ONWARDS, TO GLORY]

>>22260617
>imbibe liquor
>use the cannon to rocket-jump the tank
>go where we land

>>22265608
>>22265613

Well, I'll for on it a bit more. I might post an 'upgraded' version of the picture. With the 'Manslayer' included.

>>22265760
Forgot one bit, it's 65" (5'5"/1,656 mm) long.

File: 1356717375682.jpg-(30 KB, 474x356, 120516_tch_ironman-machin(...).jpg)

>>22265777
Reference image for ammo pack (will need to scale it up for .50, but might be close to the same size in scale on Zuli)

I don't think I've ever come back to so many posts before.

I feel popular. This calls for more booze.

Rolled 10

>>22266317
>feel popular
MORE BOOZE
>world didn't end
MORE BOOZE
>man that was a really good breath I just took
MORE BOOZE

All things lead to booze. It is known.

>>22266317

welcome back HK. i would like to start by offering you my humble services. you know my work, so choose carefully...

this offer is open to others as well.

>>22266317
GET ON WITH IT.

>>22266377

Welcome to the Polish mindset, friend! Enjoy your stay. Just remember to have that liver transplant near you at all times!

Things I have learned after going over the posts:

1. Lincoln's face is officially some sort of quantum anomaly. Any art drawn of him is not representative of what he actually looks like.

2. Splitting the party with us going to foxgirl villages wins.

3. DeadBrain is good at drawing shit, and should therefore hurry the fuck up and give me the minislime peace summit that Char asked for. Or try to draw a mecha musume version of aFocke-Wulf Triebflügel, an idea which I find hilaaaaarious.

4. Faceless Rider needs to try to draw Lincoln's impression of the World Map. I expect it to have at least three dick jokes.

>>22266377
I endorse this line of thinking.

>>22266424
Damn it HK, we need you conscious for more Hue. Stop drinking after you black out, okay?

>>22266446
>drinking after you black out
This is a thing that can happen? The body moves while the consciousness is gone?

>>22266465
I can officially confirm this, yes. It can be......amusing.

>>22266424

i will start a world map project. it will be something that gets updated as we explore, as Lincoln only knows of the STARTER VILLAGE & CASTLE. as we get more locations, the map gets more stuff.

>>22266470
Hey HK, how concentrated can the fox girls make their fire?

>>22266562
Define "concentrated" and I'll come up with an answer. That you'll get at some point in conversation.

>>22266605
Can they produce fire in such a way that would allow for propulsion?

>>22266605
I'd like to ask how hot they can make their fire. Are we talking blow torch, or just butane lighter levels of heat?

.........Hmmmmmmmm.

Interesting.

For now I'll say: Maybe. Depends on the foxgirl.

>>22266643
Same answer. Depends on the foxgirl.

>>22266645

can they combine their powers to make some kind of special attack?

VOLCANIC SHOWER ATTACK!!!

File: 1356723495028.png-(76 KB, 550x400, SlimeSummit.png)

>>22266424

Ask and you shall receive.

I always had this thought that Minislime was Lincoln's #1 fangirl.

>>22266695
Thats adorable.
>>22266645
How much air is the average bubble slime capable of storing?

>>22266695
She's creating us a base for world domination. She's truly a credit to the team.

Also I like the details with the wet flag, and see-through slimes.

File: 1356724539355.jpg-(160 KB, 1280x960, Lincolns Guide to the world.jpg)

well, that idea didn't work out too well.... apparently A4 sized images are too large for my camera to take with any clarity... attached is said image if you want...

just realized that HK might be referring to our world map.... working on that one now...

>>22266840
If you're a guy you have some long fingernails. If you're a girl, you have very pretty hands.

>>22266695
TO GLORIOUS VICTORY, COMRADES IN BOOZE!

>>22266706
I wouldn't exactly try to breathe them like in The Abyss, is all I'm saying.

>>22266840
I can't really see, so I will reserve judgement for now.

>>22266871
Gender does not matter here, only alcohol tolerance.

>>22267211
I just didn't want to insult faceless if they were of the female persuasion. So imma blame this on booze.

>>22267211

1. are you writing the update now.

2. i will do some close ups on the various areas.

3. need more places to add to the map....

4. Update please?

File: 1356727654696.jpg-(65 KB, 1080x960, LGto Map1.jpg)

>>22267253

here are the close-ups of the maps.

might i say how bloody hard photographing these with a 'towards-you' camera is... cause its bloody hard...

>>22267395
>>22267386
I like how it how the others are commenting on the map.

>>22267498
"like how it looks like" don't know how that mistake happened.

>>22267498

i do the conflicting notes for two reasons. one - it is funny. and two - it reflects the hivemind's thought process on lincoln, some saying one idea, some saying others, and some just saying no...

a likely story, i know. but it makes sense in retrospect...

>>22267574
I think it's funnier if the other characters get their hands on his map and make notes. With him making notes back to argue.

>>22267679

touche....

i've had an idea. for the next settlement we reach, how about i throw together a 'first draft', then everyone makes retorts to a point of their choosing, then Lincoln responds back... Though i fear the logistics for this endeavor would be horrendous, and thus i am hesitant to follow through with the idea.

Okay guys I nearly finished drawing that damned teapot/worm golem, so I still have a free hour before I go to sleep, and I can spend it drawing HoboQuest related stuff. So far I've thought about:

1) SpecOps Foxgirls
2) Mafia Zuli
3) BatBomber Moira
4) And...uh..."a mecha musume version of aFocke-Wulf Triebflügel"...I...guess?

If you have any other suggestions, post 'em. In the meanwhile I'll start some sketches for No.1

File: 1356730516063.jpg-(24 KB, 320x189, triebflugel.jpg)

>>22267869
My suggestion was based on an idea that popped into my head due to discussion of tankgirls.

Also because the aircraft in question looks like this, and would therefore be hilariously stupid-looking.

Ignore me if you want. I'm drunk, remember?

>>22267912

Yeah I saw the photos.

You DO realize, that I would draw a three-legged monstrosity that would probably look ripped straight from Madoka, right?

>>22267939
Shits given: Zero.

Laughs given: ALL OF THEM.

Drinks imbibed: Fuck if I know.

Yayums. I'm late.
FUCK

>>22267950

Well fuck it then. Time to kick into that weird part of my psyche and draw some strange, probably Freudian shit.

I don't know what this thread is doing to me, but I like it.

>>22267950

updates posted: negligable

>>22267964

you can never be late for Hobo Quest. we are STILL waiting for HK to update....

I WILL FIND YOU AND POKE YOU WITH A STICK HOBOKING!!!

"I'VE GOT AN IDEEEEAAAAAAAA!" You holler at the top of your lungs, lounging on top of the bridge layer like some sort of low-budget Playboy model.

"Oh, fuck, here we go." Johnson swears under his breath. "What the hell is it NOW, Lincoln?"

You pull a handkerchief from one of your pockets, stuffing it down your collar in a terrible approximation of an ascot. "GANG, I THINK IT'S TIME TO SPLIT UP!" You announce in a horrible Fred imitation.

Johnson is silent for a long moment.

".....Split up."

"Yup."

"As in, go in two different groups in two different directions."

"Yeeeeup."

"And we'd be in separate ones."

"Uhuh."

"And your little harem---("WE ARE NOT HIS HAREM!!!!")---would be---"

"With me, yep."

"And you would be going---"

"To the foxgirl village and beyond."

"Leaving you---"

"Completely unsupervised!" You finish cheerily.

"....................ARE YOU FUCKING MAD!?" Johnson screams, finally snapping and attempting to claw his way up the side of the bridge layer to murder you dead.

"Well, yes. But I thought that was obvious." You giggle, finding his murderous rage amusing at this point.

Fritz hauls the frothing-at-the-mouth CO off the side of the armored vehicle. "Woah, woah, Captain! It's not such a bad idea, yeah? You'd get away from him for a while, wouldn't you?"

Johnson calms somewhat as he takes in the statement. "Away.....away from the hobo......yeah....yeah, that doesn't sound too bad......" He mutters to himself, before shaking his head.

"No! If I let him out of my sight.....forget starting a war, that fool will SOMEHOW figure out a way to blow up half the continent, I KNOW it!!" Johnson snarls, attempting to lunge out of Fritz's grasp to get to you once again.

"Hey, hey! I can go with him! I'll keep him out of trouble. Just stop trying to murder him." Fritz offers, letting Johnson out of his grip as a show of good faith.

Johnson eyes the First Lieutenant suspiciously. "Fritz, you have shown yourself in the past to not only be amicable to his horseshit, but interested in actively participating. What reason do I have to trust you to keep him in line?"

"I know the stakes, Captain. I swear to you that I will keep him from doing anything stupid."

It takes an absolutely supreme effort on your part not to laugh at Fritz crossing his fingers behind his back.

Johnson stares at Fritz for a few more moments before, closing his eyes with a heavy sigh. "Fine. I suppose it will allow us to cover more ground. And I honestly NEED some time away from that fucking alcoholic before he winds up.......well, think creatively."

He turns to stare at the assembled vehicles. "Well, I guess we need to figure out who's going in what...."

>You can choose two vehicles to take with you
>Which ones do you choose?

Huzzah!
Lemme finish last thread.

Rolled 19

>>22268000

TAKE THE TANKS!!!

no wait, we will need some space....

OUR TANK AND THE HUMVEE!!!

no wait, OUR TANK AND THE BRIDGE-LAYER!!!! we can get the girls to dance on the top as we cruise around....
Yeah, that one. ROLLING FOR SWAG!!!

and HK, you have been spared, for now...
MWAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahaha........

>>22268046
Your threats do not penetrate the thick layer of intoxication that surrounds my brain.

>>22268000
Take all the tanks. Nothing says don't try anything funny like multiple tanks rotating their barrels towards your position.

>>22268058

no, but my POKING STICK WILL!!!!!

some when, some way, when you least expect it, you will find a STICK POKING YOU!!! and then the prophecy will be complete...

Reminder:

Vehicles consist of:
M1A2 Abrams (with 16 shopping cart train)
M2 Bradley
M104 Wolverine
Humvee

>>22268202
Take the Abrams and the Wolverine. Because monstergirls dancing on a mobile bridge. Also, we don't get what we want, we take away your liquor.

File: 1356732767124.png-(72 KB, 650x450, Idonteven.png)

>>22267950

HAVE YOU THOUGHT I WOULDN'T DO THIS?

YOU CREATED HER YOU MADMAN

YOU MUST TAKE RESPONSIBILITY LIKE A GOOD ONIISAN

>>22268350
It looks like a final boss character.

Take everything, for fucks sake.

>>22268375

This isn't even her final form

>>22268350
not even someone on /d/ would fap to that.

>>22268394
Imagine it: Simultaneous stimulation, with 4 sets of hands and feet, and looks at those hip bones.

>>22268434

I'm terrified.

>>22268434
Look, I'm all for simultaneous stimulation, but not from something that looks like that

>>22268234
Seconding this because we can't ramp the abrams off the humvee or bradley. Well technically we can, but we can't do it more than once.

File: 1356733586555.jpg-(102 KB, 600x500, JUST_AS_PLANNED_by_Kiriska.jpg)

>>22268394
>>22268434
>>22268443
>>22268450

File: 1356733647622.jpg-(4 KB, 149x155, 1325532578765.jpg)

>>22268470
I like this anon, can we keep him?
>>22268473
>pic related

>>22268350

that. is. AWESOME!!!

if i had a secret bio-mechanical/genetic experimentation laboratory, i would hire you as the lead designer. I want one, though some work will have to be done on the head, but i still want one none the less.

>>22268470
I don't think the Brad could hold the weight. It is made of aluminum.

>>22268487
>if i had a secret bio-mechanical/genetic experimentation laboratory

>Not suggesting making lamias, batgirls and slimes first
>2012
>ISHYGDDT

Seriously though, if I'd be the lead designer my projects should be reviewed by sane people. If they'll be still sane after seeing them, it's a pass. If not...well...Cthulhu fhatgan I guess?

I mean that worm/teapot golem I mentioned earlier? After I finished drawing it, even I wondered what the fuck just happened on the paper in front of me.

captcha: Brocious forBord

>>22268554
I'd totally be your supervisor. Just because lamias, slimes, and batgirls.

>>22268575

We REALLY need to make a MonsterLab Quest or something.

Ugh, I was so caught up trying to (unintentional) derail this thread that I forgot to vote:

>M1A2 Abrams
>Humvee

>>22268554

well, we already have the knowledge and capacity to GIVE ANIMALS OPPOSABLE THUMBS!!!

>>22268609
YOU are Washington Bismuth, drunken scientist of AWESOME. Upon hearing that SLIME girls are a real thing, you set about trying to create them. You have a full laboratory at your disposal, which contains several packets of jello, amino acids, and electricity. Not to mention your booze stash.
What do you do?
>[ ] imbibe liquor

>[ ] mix jello and amino acids

>[ ] go over your theories on slime creation, then mix jello and amino acids

>[ ] other

>>22268649

Use our connections to find out where the SLIME girls are located. THEN using our excellent credentials as an EXPERT we will gain access to them, then we shall begin to replicate them. providing us with an ARMY of SLIMEGIRLS with which we shall TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!!!!!!

failing that, imbibe liquor and mix jello, amino acids and liquor together. THEN accidentally add another ingredient... CHEMICAL XXX

>>22268350
JESUS FUCK, MY SIDES.

You. I like you. You should stick around these threads.

>>22268649
I'm going to go get a new suit. You are to run this while I am gone, and when I get back, I expect to read it and have no idea what's going on, as it should be. Don't let me down.

>>22268727
You don't gots no Chemical XXX. Unless you mean putting booze in it. Or you could go buy some from the mad scientist store.

Rolled 10

>[x ] imbibe liquor

needs to be done before any science can happen!

File: 1356735007028.jpg-(91 KB, 1920x1200, 15029_powerpuff_girls.jpg)

>>22268649
>>22268727

I admit...I would have other plans here. Picture related.

But I guess I'll go with:

>[x] go over your theories on slime creation, then mix jello and amino acids...AND BOOZE

>>22268756

Your approval fills me with...I don't know. Qustions about my life. Or joy. Probably. Something like this. At the same time.

I'll stick around though, this thread is a mine of ideas.

>>22268799
>>22268792
>>22268727
Using some of your precious booze store, you quickly get the creative juices flowing. And by that you mean alcohol. And then your own creativity starts flowing, boundlessly, going down paths not meant to be tread by man. After quickly consulting your calculations (your normal scientist friends scoffed at your plans) you add the theorized amount of raspberry jello, amino acids, and just for luck you add some of the good stuff. Bringing it to a boil, you hit the electric switch, bringing SWEET LIFE to your creation. As the steam clears, there is no slime girl waving up at you. There is just a red, jelly-like egg at the bottom of the pot. So what do you do?
>[ ] sit on egg to incubate

>[ ] leave it to do its thing

>[ ] imbibe liquor

>[ ] other.

>>22268878
>add more liquor
clearly we didn't give it enough

>>22268772

then we shall make some!!!

Instructions for making Slime Girl X-01

take Beaker.
add 100ml of amino acids.
gently heat to 37 degrees Celsius
slowly add jello, 1 gram at a time, stiring clockwise throughout.
lower temprature to 35 degrees Celsius
add 50ml of liquor (preferably 192proof)
stir anti-clockwise 7 times
heat to 36 degrees Celsius
add bodily fluids, 50ml (include equal measures of Blood, Saliva and Semen)
keep in a moist place at standard body temperature for one hour.

test resultant product for viability. if failed, attempt at X-02, using stem cells and brain cells in conjunction with the X-01 variant.


>>22268878
DO NOT SIT ON IT!!!! we must carefully place it into a safe, warm location. or failing that, our pants.

>>22268938
>>22268917
Thinking carefully and quickly, you shove the egg down your pants. Because your worth it. Also, the thing seemed to be moving slightly towards your booze bottles, so you pour some of that down your pants as well. This causes your fun stick to SWELL TO ITS FULL LENGTH. Oh wait, thats just the egg. Maybe a booze run is in order? Or theres got to be some around here somewhere…
[20 MINUTE SEARCH MONTAGE LATER]
Armed with all the booze you had in your "lab" and a funnel, you quickly begin feeding your baby booze. It swells and swells until its the size of an ostrich egg. the combination of booze and warmth seems to be working! The gelatinous mass squirms and wriggles, causing you intense comfort.
Only one question springs to mind, the one in all fathers minds ever. "WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO?"
>[ ] IMBIBE LIQUOR

>[ ] take the thing out of your pants

>[ ] sing the egg a lullaby

>>22269026

>[1] take the thing out of your pants
>[2] sing the egg a lullaby
>[ALL THE TIME FUCKER] IMBIBE LIQUOR

>>22269081

this. but after taking it out of our pants, we must cuddle it, to ensure it stays warm.

>>22269081
>>22269130
In what makes perfect sense to you, but would make no sense to anyone watching, you remove the still swelling egg from your pants and begin to sing to it. And not just any song, but a little nonsense song about how the egg is special, the egg is kind, and the egg is nice. But it seems to like the rocking motion, as its now glowing a light pink. What the fuck was in that booze, you wonder, before a pseudo-arm stretches from the egg and puts a finger on your lips. Your eyes go wide in shock, IT TASTES LIKE RASPBERRY VODKA!
>YOU ARE NOW THE PROUD PARENT OF A RASPBERRY SLIME
After the arm comes a face that has all indications of being a little girl. The second arm emerges and wraps itself around your neck, while the mouth coos. You have no idea how its talking, but it apparently is. You take a drink to steady yourself, you had no idea this was actually going to work.
>FREE STYLE WHAT DO

>>22269228

now we educate the young slime, WITH SCIENCE!!! teach her linguistics, mathematics, chemistry, biology, physics, everything we know, teach her. also, see what effect adding more jello, amino acids and/or booze have on her, as we need to know if there is a way to rapidly advance her development, either physically, mentally or both.

>>22269228
>give slimegirl liquor
It''s what we did when we were that age and we turned out okay.

>>22269294
You get your blackboard of SCIENCE and begin writing everything you know on it. Thus begins slimegirl's tra- hold up, she's asleep! How ungrateful, you'll need to remedy this. Grabbing your trusty alcohol funnel (your life isn't sad, what are you talking about?) you carefully insert it into her mouth. And then pour the remaining 192 proof liquor in. This has the effect of both waking her up AND making her larger. She now resembles a teenager, which isn't disturbing at all since technically she's your daughter. Since she's up and about you begin to drone on and on about linguistics. "Now..." Oh shit, you forgot to name her.
>NAME HER YOU FOOLS

Rolled 3

I have a few ideas on what makes up a slime. My main theory is that they are formed by some sort of symbiosis between a type of slime mold and a type or perhaps multiple types of paramecium acting as cells would in a human body. The semi-liquid body is a gelatinous slime mold which shifts and moves via chemical signals excreted by paramecium. The interesting thing about paramecium is that they have shown some capacity to learn and sense changes in light so its not much of a stretch to say that particular paramecium have developed to function as sensory organs.

also, we need to see if the process is repeatable. to that end, we must acquire larger amounts of both strawberry and Cherry jello, then repeat the procedure.

after all, it is only true SCIENCE! if the results are repeatable...

>>22269386
We shall name her Rachel Bismuth. and we must take photos to show to our younger brother, who despite not having a legitimate residence, still seems able to acquire any and all type of booze.
he will be so jealous to hear that we have a SlimeGirl daughter.

>slimegirl science
nevar change tg

>>22269434

Rachel is acceptable.

Also I don't think keeping slime girls close to our brother is a good idea.

You have seen ENOUGH hentai to know where this would go.

>>22269490

that is why we only send him photos. and keep her location undisclosed... don't want the media to find out and try to take her away from us...
damn bigots...

Rolled 4

>>22269399
Slimes therefore must secrete enzymes to dissolve their prey which means they can turn this property on and off using chemical signals. Alchohol may have a effect on these signals or perhaps the enzymes themselves rendering the slime harmless. as for intelligence my theory is that feral slimes are more slime mold then paramecium either from some genetic condition or from a disease that attacks the "Thinking Paramecium" is unknown. sentient slimes must contain a larger number of "Thinking Paramecium" to have the capacity for human level intelligence.

Alright, getting back to the lesson, "Now Rachel, yes I do mean you, you're the only one here besides me. Now, this is the english language, several mathematical formulae, and some basic chemistry. We're going over the english first. Any questions?"
"BRRBBRBBR"
Well. Shit. She doesn't appear to speak any english at all, which ruins the first lesson, prepositions.
ROLL 1D20 TO TEACH RACHEL TO ENGLISH

Rolled 15

>>22269513
now this leads to an interesting idea in many works slimes often have some sort of solid core my theory is that slimes possessing said core may have greater then human intelligence as the core allows for a large number of highly specialised "thinking paramecium" in a sheltered environment. This of course gives the slimes an additional weak spot.

Rolled 17

>>22269513

rather than a disease or genetic condition, could the cause of a slime become 'feral' be a simple deficiency of a particular chemical which slime's themselves cannot create, but can be found naturally?

maybe the reason they attack people is that the human body contains high levels of this chemical....

>>22269556
TEACHING LANGUAGE!!!

Rolled 2

>>22269556

They see me rollinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnoooo this joke is way too old.

File: 1356738741126.png-(100 KB, 375x360, english.png)

Rolled 3

>>22269556

Rolled 13

>>22269556

At least she can make sounds. That's something.

All right, time to get out the alphabet blocks. "All right, rachel, this is A. Can you say aAAAAAAAAAUGH!" That scream? Rachel just stuck a finger up your nose. INTO YOUR BRAIN. It seems she learns that way, but still, this shit is PAINFUL. ROLL FOR NOT BLACKING OUT WITH YOUR DAUGHTER'S FINGER IN YOUR NOSE.
(There will be no failures in this quest. Only hilarity.)

Rolled 8

>>22269573
well if mini was once part of a feral slime and can now somewhat communicate with lincoln then the "thinking paramecium" may be stimulated with alcohol. This could mean that feral slimes attack people for any alcohol that may be in them. If they have some way to sense alcohol then lincoln would shine like a second sun to them, they may even start worshiping him.

>>22269556
rollan

Rolled 19

>>22269690

Logic? What is that, I never heard of it? Is it edible?

Rolled 8

>>22269690

SCIENCE KNOWS NO PAIN!!! only mild discomfort...

>>22269573

Hmmm, I have a theory...

>>22269690

AND THIS CONFIRMS IT. Feral slimes attack people so that they can extract components from our neural matter to form a core where higher thought processes occur. THEY LITERALLY WANT TO EAT OUR BRAINS TO GROW SMARTER.

>>22269743
>>22269730
>>22269729
As the tasty jello creation wriggles around in your brain, you begin to slip into blessed unconsciousness. When you come to, your daughter is standing over you looking worried, you feel significantly more sober, and she looks like she's about legal drinking age now.
"Daddy, just hold on, I'm sorry I had to do that but you were taking forever with that learning stuff. Now, what shall we do next? Because I want to...um... well, I want to meet more people but the voices in your head said that would be a bad idea because everyone would hate me because I'm different."
As she says this, you get the feeling she's not talking about anyone else, she's talking about you.
>REASSURE SEXY SLIME GIRL DAUGHTER, GO!
>>22269914
Keep in mind this is not official Canon (yet).

>>22269950

Hug the SHIT out of her like a good father would.

>>22269950

"Daughter of mine! You are Beautiful! You are Sexy! You are Intelligent! And being born from my will, my hands. you can only be Glorious! All who would dispute this are unwirthy of your attention!"

Spoken with mad-scientist mania, of course.

>>22269950
We're going to a bar. That's the best place to learn about life.

Yes. we shall take her to a bar, so that if anyone begins to panic, we can blame is on drunken-ness... you sir are quite the cunning one, aren't you...

>>22269982
>>22270007
>>22270009
>>22270046
You stand up and dust off your +1 SCIENCE COAT of SCIENCE. You stride forward towards your glistening daughter, extend your arms out, and hold her gently.
"You never have to worry about my acceptance. DAUGHTER OF MINE! You is beautiful beyond words, you now apparently have my formidable intellect! You know the circumstances of your birth these few minutes past!"
"Dad, you were out for 6 hours"

"EVEN BETTER, the bars are open. Now my girl, lets go get drunk!"

"Uh, okay. The Rusty Pelican, like normal?"

"DAMN STRAIGHT."

"Wont I attract attention on the way there though?"
...Shit
ROLL TO DISGUISE SLIME GIRL

>>22270123
Don't you talk shit about my daughter's skin condition.

Rolled 13

>>22270150
Screwed that up. Let's try again.

Rolled 7

>>22270123
>>22270150
Let's see if we can cover her in flour or something.

Rolled 20

>>22270123

You can have this, It was my very first Lab Coat. it comes complete with normal cloths which seem to be suspiciously fitted to your measurements...

>>22270244
Looks like she's following in her father's footsteps, and becoming a drunken scientist.

>>22270244
>>22270224
>>22270162
"IDEA!"
you quickly spring into action, getting the clothes you kept around incase you ever got irreversibly turned into a female. Including a +1 SCIENCE COAT of SCIENCE! With Rachel appropriately outfitted in a perfect disguise, you nonchalantly make your way down to the local watering hole. She gets a few odd looks, but everyone ignores it as either the absinthe they've been drinking or the drugs they've taken. When you get to the bar, you are greeted by Hank, the usual bartender of this hour.
"So you finally got a lady friend, eh Wash?"
"I'll have you know this is my daughter Hank, so fuck off."
"All right, all right, geez man, just trying to have some civil conversation. You'll want the usual then?"
"Sure, why not."
The surly lout who pours the liquid gold pulls out the good whiskey and two Old Fashioned glasses, and sets about making the drinks. When he finally finishes, Rachel grabs one and you take the other. With a quick toast, you set about imbibing the liquor. Something strange happens though, the more Rachel drinks, the older she appears to be getting...
>RAPID AGING, WHAT DO

>>22270389
>give Rachel Jagerbomb
If alcohol accelerates her aging, maybe caffiene will reverse it.

>>22270389
Quickly have her drink some water. Her body has too high an alcohol to jello ratio.

>>22270430
BRILLIANT, OTHER ME IN MY HEAD!
"Rachel, sweetie, you're getting older, maybe you should have some water?"

"Dad, that doesn't any sense at all. Wh- OH, you mean I'm actually getting physically older as I drink alcohol. Okay, maybe some water would help."
However, the increase in water only increases her age. Rachel is now old enough to be your mother, and getting close to being your grandmother.
>ITS NOT WORKING, WHAT DO!

Rolled 19

>>22270430

no, she would need more jello for that. too much alcohol is not a thing. always remember that.

but we need to find some kind of stabiliser for her...

but first, ADD MORE JELLO!!!! or DRINK THE EXCESS ALCOHOL FROM HER!!!!

rolling for SCIENCE!!!

>>22270487
It's time for vigorous calisthenics, quickly we must run out on the tab and race back to the lab.

Hopefully lowering her liquid content makes her age slower.

>>22270487

The high fluid content makes her older... therefore, a higher solute concentration will make her younger! Get this girl some snacks!

>>22270517

mayhap, even regress her...

though we really do need to make some kind of stabilizer for her though. we can apply it when she reaches a suitable physical age. possibly 23ish?

>>22270487
pour ice on her

I have seen what has been happening in my absence, and I approve whole-heartedly.

Imma type the next post.

>>22270594

you know, soon your threads will be half Hobo Quest, half Spin-Off Quests, right?

and the funny thing is that it will only serve to drum up more interest in it...

File: 1356742668454.jpg-(17 KB, 210x200, image.jpg)

>>22270594
Wewt!

>>22270629
I like the sort of communal contribution attitude we have in here. If I just wanted to tell a story, I'd have written a book.

>>22270646

... how about writing a book, based on this quest? you could have the hiveminds creativity AND a source of income allowing you to spend ALL YOUR TIME HERE RUNNING THE QUEST!!!
and getting booze...

>>22270673
YES

Also, NotAnon. Please suspend your spin-off for now, as I believe I have a surprise for you in the next post. There will be opportunities to continue it later, I promise.

>>22270244
Add a little sugar and after a while we will have a delicous slime daughter made out of cookie dough.

>>22270224
Mmm.. Miss wet labcoat.

"OH NO, RACHEL! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO! IT'S A PROBLEM BOOZE CANNOT SOLVE! WE ARE DOOMED, I SAY! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO----"

"Lincoln, what the FUCK are you doing." Zuli states flatly, causing you to look up.

"......erm......extrapolating....potential......scenarios? For safeties sake?" You offer lamely, sitting next to your shopping cart train.

"Where did you even GET action figures? And a lab coat? And a bowler hat? And copious amounts of raspberry Jello?" Fritz asks, face screwed up in confusion.

"Sssshhhhh. Question not the Hobo and his mysterious means of----"

"You stole them, didn't you."

"Acquisiti----Yeah."

"GODDAMNIT, LINCOLN." Johnson fumes.

"Hey, if people are stupid enough to leave things lying around, only protected by a door, a window, several security alarms, and an angry dog, they shouldn't be surprised when they go missing. And for your information, it's a SCIENCE hat. It's written right on the thing, see?"

"No, I can't. Because it looks like you don't even know HOW to write."

"I have a special Hobo Dialect."

"THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SE---"

"Uh, Johnson? We need to go, remember?" Fritz nudges the CO lightly, slightly tensed in case he needs to hold him back again.

Johnson utters a sigh for the umpteenth time, rubbing his eyes with his free hand. "You know what? Fine. Lincoln, you take your crazy weird lady-friends, your retarded tank train, and the bridge layer and head for the village. The bridge will probably be more useful to you, since the Abrams has a lot harder of a time getting over things without it. Fritz, you drive the Wolverine. Partially because you know how to work it, and partially because I am still holding out hope that Lincoln drives the tank into a ravine and dies."

"Awwwwww, you're so sweet Johnso---"

"Finish the sentence and I murder you with bullets."

"Righto, off to my tank then." You rotate on your heels and begin sauntering over to the tank, motioning for Zuli, Moira, and Illiana to follow you while pointing the other foxgirls towards the Wolverine.

"Lincoln. Wait. There's something I need to give you." Johnson calls you back. You gasp dramatically.

"A present!? FOR ME!?!? Johnson, you shouldn't ha---"

"BULLETS, LINCOLN. Now...." The Spec Ops CO hefts something out of the back of the Humvee and drops it into your arms. You nearly fall over, staggering around with the heavy objects.

"It's a GE Six-Pack. It's an XM214 Microgun customized for man-portable use. The General got General Electrics to dig one out of somewhere. Figured that demon chick could put the system to good use, give it a field test.

"Thanks.....I.....guess...." You grate out the words as you stumble around with the object, finally managing to get it into one of the shopping carts.

"And with that, I hope to never see you again." Johnson says with an air of finality, before climbing into the Humvee and gunning the engine, taking off in the opposite direction as fast as possible.

".....so devoted to his mission, he is. Welp, time to get on the road." You mosey on over to your tank, where Moira, Zuli, and Illiana await.

Time to assign positions.

>Who goes where?

File: 1356744106421.jpg-(290 KB, 600x1200, image.jpg)

>>22270999
All the gals on the LOVE-TANK!
The not-Bruce's/Bruce/fritz/Johnson,
Meh. Pic related

>>22270999
Us in the tank, Fritz driving the wolverine.
Moira, Zuli and Faye with us, the other three with Fritz. To show him the way...

[Spoiler]to a slime girls heart. And by heart, I mean lady parts. Assuming they even have them...[/spoiler]

>>22270973
I love you HK.

>>22270999
Foxes up top with Moira. They're the lookouts, and Zuli helps us drive the tank. If we have lookouts on both vehicles we're less likely to get ambushed.

>>22271285
We should probably get Moira up as our eye in the sky. Whats her max flight time?

>>22271299
If we tie a rope to the back of the tank she could hold onto it and glide like one of those guys with the parachute and the speedboat.

>>22271476
Not enough speed to maintain a stable height.

>>22271156
And I agree with face on distribution. Because HK IS BEING SLOW AS HELL

>>22271963
He's probably waiting form something resembling a consensus.

>>22271963
>>22272067
Or I'm trying to take my dog for a walk, but that explanation works too.

Though I question if you're mixing up Faye with Illiana.

>>22272090
Pfft. It better be a cute dog or I'll be annoyed. And faye is the smallest foxgirl, yes?

>>22272199
Yup.

>>22272239
Then I have the right fox girl.

>>22272199
It's a Labrador. And he's hilarious.

Right then, back to writing.

>>22273294
I apologize for the delay, by the way. My dog, shortly after arriving back from his walk, decided his bed was an evil intruder and had to be destroyed. The stuffing was spread all over the damn room.

---45 MINUTES LATER---

"I FELL IN TO THE BURNIN' RING OF FIRE---!"

"Lincoln."

" I WENT DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, AND THE FLAMES WENT HIGHER----!"

"LINCOLN."

"AND IT BURNS, BURNS, BURNS---!"

"I'LL BURN YOU IF YOU DON'T LISTEN TO ME, YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Zuli screams, climbing down into the driver's compartment and kicking you in the head.

"BWAAAGGGH!"

CLONG

Your rub your head from the impact with something metal, looking at the incensed red oni with a pout on your face.

"I was only trying to provide entertaining driving music....."

"You can't sing for shit, you moron. And this thing's like a cave, I can't get away from the echos." Zuli hmmphs, clambering back into her spot in the turret.

"Geez, everyone's a critic....." You mutter to yourself, before turning back to the controls.

Outside, Faye and Illiana sit huddled together, Faye shielding herself from the breeze with her tail, as usual. Illiana had insisted on being with her sister, probably still guilt-tripping herself over Faye's apparent "sudden" maturing. Though if YOU had to bet money, Faye had probably been sneaking away for a good schlick loooooong before Illiana was aware. Meh. Growing up is weird.

Moira sails above the Abrams, apparently quite happy to be getting a good flight for the first time in a while. While you initially were concerned about her stamina, she assured you that she wasn't on the Night Post for nothing. True to her word, she's remained airborne through the entire trip, only coming occasionally to report on what she can see from her lofty position.

And her reports? So far, a whole lotta' nothing. You're so bored.

"WHEN AM I GOING TO GET MORE DELICIOUS MONSTERGIRLS!?" You grouse at the top of your lungs, kicking the floor in childish annoyance.

As if to answer your question, you hear a clacking noise as Moira sets down on the top of the turret, poking her head through the hatch to call at you.

"Lincoln.....? T-There's a settlement or something in the distance.....I-I thought you should know...?"

You grin triumphantly, your prayers to the booze gods having been answered in a VERY timely manner. "Excellent work, Moira! Hold on while I stop this thing." You push down on the pedals, bringing the Abrams to a halt.

Zuli clambers up out of the tank, you following close behind. Fritz, having stopped the Wolverine behind you, walks up alongside your tank.

"Why'd you stop? Something up?" The Spec Ops First Lieutenant asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Moira said there's a settlement up ahead. I'm guessing that's it." You point at the tiny village of huts that lies at the bottom of the long, sloping hill you've stopped on top of, which sticks out like a sore thumb on the edge of the forest it's built next to. Smoke drifts up from a few of the buildings.

"That is my village." Illiana points out from her position atop the Abrams. "Though I didn't expect we'd get here.....so fast. These carriages of yours are quite speedy....."

"We make ones that go faster, but they're not nearly as explosion-proof." You chuckle, still amused by Illiana's attempts to keep her composure in the face of modern technology.

But there are important matters that require your consideration. Serious, serious consideration. Naturally, you take another swig from your current bottle of gin to make sure you are extra prepared for serious time.

How to announce your glorious presence to the village.....?

>What do?

[ ] [leave tanks at top of hill, go down on foot]

[ ] [drive slowly to village, keep foxgirls in open to prevent incidents]

[ ] [barrel down hill like madman, have all four foxgirls strike Power Rangers pose atop tank]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

>>22274525
[X] [barrel down hill like madman, have all four foxgirls strike Power Rangers pose atop tank]
[X] [imbibe liquor]

"Ladies your liberators have arrived!" We also need to pose once we leave the tank. The booze will ensure we feel not even the slightest bit of shame.

>>22274826
From a diplomatic standpoint, thats a terrible idea. From our point of view, its a wonderful idea. We're keeping you also.

Did everyone else go to sleep....?

Rolled 10

>>22274877
Imagine it from this perspective, If actual politicians were to ride around town on a tank striking Power Ranger poses would that be seen as a bad thing or a good thing publicity wise.

>>22275274
I know there's at least four people still here.

>>22275369
Alright. Was just worried I had taken too long, and y'all had packed up.

I've still got a few more hours left in me before my next sleep break. It'd be a shame to have to stop early.

Rolled 4

>>22274525
[x] Imbibe liquor

[x] Barrel down to the village

[x] Imbibe liquor

[x] Crash into something important

>>22274525
[ ] [drive slowly to village, keep foxgirls in open to prevent incidents]
[ ] [imbibe liquor]

(I have been lurking)

>>22275539
I appreciate your contribution to the discussion all the more, then.

>>22275598
Am being helpful, Yay.

Vote count:

Cautious entry: 1
Hilariously stupid entry: 2

>>22275727
I think >>22274877 could also be taken as a vote for driving like a madman.

>>22275822
Driving like a madman it is, then.

>>22275727
I vote for caution

>>22275970
Errr. 2 to 3....

>>22274525
That whole caution thing seems to be something we do when we realize something may not be quite right. Obviously, nothing is wrong right now, so we should do the only right thing, which is do as we normally would.
[x] imbibe liquor
[x] barrel and pose
[x] find those beatboxes

Well, you ARE the future ruler of everything you survey, after all! And everything you don't survey. So you really should introduce yourself to you future subjects in the correct, proper way.....

......by scaring the ever-loving daylights out of them.

"FOXGIIIIIRLS! LINE UP, PLEASE!" You holler, jumping up to stand defiantly on top of your Hobo Tank of Alcoholic Doom.

Illiana blinks at you, confused. "L....Lincoln...? Is there something wro---"

"We, as the harbingers of this bold new alliance we are forming, have a SACRED DUTY TO THE BOOZE GODS to introduce ourselves in a manner appropriate of diplomats! This will involve a special greeting and a regal entrance to properly convey the awesome that is us. I SHALL NOW TEACH YOU THIS GREETING."

"Erm.....what greeti---" You cut Fritz off before he can blow your plan.

"OHOHO, COMRADE FRITZ! OF COURSE YOU KNOW THE EXTRA SPECIAL GREETING I AM REFERRING TO, THAT IS TOTALLY REAL AND ALL!" You say with a slight note of panic, as Zuli is giving you another of her trademark death glares.

"Well....I suppose if it's in the interesting of proper diplomatic conduct...." Illiana hesitantly says. Aaaaaand that's all the acceptance you need.

"GREAT! Now, the first thing you do is...."

---1 MINUTE LATER---

"Then you hold your arms up like this..."

'L-Like this?"

"YES, PERFECT! Then you move into THIS pose...."

---4 MINUTES---

"FAYE! You need to wave your tail CLOCKWISE, not COUNTER-CLOCKWISE!"

"I-I-I-I-I-I'm sorry---!"

---7 MINUTES---

"What kind of stupid crap is this!? You can take your diplomacy and---"

"HUSH, ANNOYING CROSSBOW CASSANDRA GIRL. Now squeeze Aiya's tits like sooooo---"

"I WILL DO NO SUCH THING!"

---12 MINUTES---

"Zuli, hurry up with the boomboxes, I need to make sure the music is all ready!"

"Since I know stopping you is like trying to stop time, I'm just going to point out that I WILL kill you if this gets us in trouble again."

"BAH, DETAILS! You just need to drive the tank."

---20 MINUTES LATER---

The inari and youko of the village go about their daily work, busying themselves with cooking, gathering, repairs, and all the tasks needed to keep the village functional. They'd been camped here a few weeks now; they should've moved on by now, but one of their bandit teams had failed to return. Seeing as this included the matriarch's own children, there was no choice but to wait a few days longer. Any longer than that, and they risked being found by the men of the nearby kingdom.

A youko mother briskly walks down the road between the wooden huts, carrying buckets of water suspended from a stick on her shoulders. Humming an old traditional kitsune folk song to herself, she smiles as her tiny pair of children run out of her hut to meet her.

"Mooooooooom! Joey's been picking on me again!" The little girl wails, running up to her mother's leg and hugging it.

"Have not! Jessie's just being a crybaby!" The slightly older boy protests, stomping his feet in a pout.

The mother raises an eyebrow, bending down to lightly hold the damning evidence.

"Oho? Then why, Joey, is your sister's hair singed?" She stares the guilty party down with a glare only a mother can use.

"E-Erm.....well...." Joey, caught in the act, shuffles at the dirt with a guilty expression. "I was practicin' my fire....and I wanted to surprise her....so...."

The mother chuckles, rapping the little boy on the head lightly to scold him. "Joey, you're the older sibling. You should be helping your sister, not scaring her! Now, apologize and give her a hug."


"......sorry, Jessie....." the little foxboy mumbles, awkwardly reaching out to hug his sister. After sniffling a little bit, she returns the hug.

The mother smiles. Despite how much of a handful these two can be, they're her precious children. And she'll have another amusing story to tell the hubby when he gets back from hunting....

"Mommy? What's that noise?" Pulling away from her brother, she looks questioningly at her mother.

The mother perks her ears up, listening. It's a loud, rumbling noise, like nothing she's ever heard. Looking in the direction of the strange cacophony, her eyes widen in horror at the sight of some infernal hell carriage crashing down the hill towards the village.

"Quickly, inside!" She urges her children, dropping her water pails and grabbing them up in her arms. She dashes out of the way of the unknown metal monster, the shouts of alarm from the rest of the villagers letting her know the others are doing the same.

The Power Rangers theme song blares out as the Abrams screeches to a halt in the center of the village, the four foxgirl bandits standing tall atop it's mighty armor. You stand resolutely flanked by them, sunglasses on your face, baroque coat billowing in the wind, and insane grin proudly displayed.

"WHAT HO, FOX-PEOPLE! YOUR LIBERATORS HAVE ARRIVED!" You announce to the shocked villagers as they stare at you from their hiding places behind pretty much anything they could get behind.

"G-Go....L-L-Lincoln, we can't do s-something so embarrassing!" Illiana protests weakly to you. Her words are in vain.

"Do it or I start grabbing squishy bits." You giggle mercilessly.

"G----GO, GO FOXGIRL RANGERS!" The four bandits ring out, doing a variety of faux-fu poses, faces absolutely crimson.

The villagers stare silently at the sight, most with mouths agape.

Illiana blushes even harder, if that were possible, and drops into a crouch with her face in her hands. "OhdearGlorian, I'm never going to live this down!" She whimpers. Cassandra and Aiya are looking in the opposite direction as the village, Cassandra mumbling something about lightning striking her dead. Faye, for her part, continues to hold her pose despite everything. Gold star, little foxgirl, gold star.

You take another swig of your current bottle of wine and giggle. Shame is for the weak. And the unintoxicated.