>>22258035

LAKE LAKE LAKE

>>22258035

Wait I thought you got banned?

>>22258132

>No, I just left. Someone archived the thread with the description of 'Please stop tripping the ban filters AC-Guy ;_; '

>I posted saying I was done for the night, but apparently nobody saw it.

>>22258035
I was gonna say barge into Issei, but i hear a motorbike coming.

LAKE TIEM NOW

>>22258035


[x] Put tie in mouth

>>22258035

Reposting this from the last thread:

>We know where Issei is, right? Go knock on his door and ask where Kuzuki's at.

I think it had some support behind it at the end there.

>>22258035
Lovely night for a swim. Shame we didnt bring any bathing suits.
Oh well, skinny dipping it is.

>>22258212
>>22258204
>>22258124

GUYS! We have a solid clue trail here, and limit time before Gil decides to stop faffing about on the stairs.

We tell Issei we need to know where Kuzuki's at, we move on to our next objective.

>>22258324

>Implying caster/souchiro would tell Issei where her secret hideout is.

>So the vote's two for investigating the Lake, one for swimming, and.... is it one or two for talking to Issei?

>>22258350

3 for lake, actually.

>>22258343

The Temple IS their hideout. She's literally staying in the same room, as his guest, under the pretense of them being a soon to be married couple.

If they aren't in his room we can check elsewhere, but I'd rather eliminate the most immediate and obvious solution right off the bat.

>>22258350
Uno mas para el lago. Lake, yo.

>>22258324
Actually, I side with this. Put me into the "Speak with Issei route.

Wizard business! can we re-open the Issei route with a dashing enough of a nocturnal visitation?

>I guess we're going with investigating the lake then.

>>22258389

>.... Do people really WANT an Issei route? I'm actually curious here.

File: 1356672573797.jpg-(363 KB, 1091x758, Cure.Marine.(Cosplay).ful(...).jpg)

>>22258434

Not if you give me my Ayako route.

>>22258380
>under the pretense of them being a soon to be married couple.
>pretense
Maybe Souichirou THINKS it's just a pretense...
>>22258389
We are NOT going Len on him. No. Bad Tsukifag.

File: 1356672733240.jpg-(128 KB, 566x679, 8ffdfe51d4aa1b1188512edba(...).jpg)

>Ayako route
I would not be opposed to such a thing.

>>22258434
I don't really care for an Issei route, I prefer the Everyone Lives route.

>>22258454
>>22258499
Ayako/Shirou/Rider OT3

>>22258537
As if we aren't all just a part of Rin's harem.

File: 1356673217378.jpg-(Spoiler Image, 467 KB, 700x746)

>>22258537
This, too, is acceptable.
>>22258510
As is this despite how unlikely it is. I'll also assume you mean Everyone Lives Except Gilgamesh And Avenger And Probably That Faggot Archer Route.

Secret Ruler Route when? How?

>>22258537

I can already here the Sakura 'Dorobou Neko'.

>>22258434
I thought it would be fun, to see what the gay option would look like in this sort of story. Issei is kind of sweet, despite being a little too serious for his own good.

However, all of this joking about routes aside, I'm really hoping we can hit an Everybody Lives scenario. We

I'm okay with looking into the lake, actually. This was a bit of a plot point in the original VN, so I'm curious to see what you've done with it, AC-guy

>Sorry, connection issues, had to abandon my laptop for now.

I decide we should check the area around the lake, since it's the only one we haven't even looked into.

"Is there anything here?" Rider asks, looking around.

"I'm not sure. Nothing obvious, but we might be able to find a clue or something." I tell her, thinking.

[ ] Magecraft.
[ ] Physical clues.
[ ] Lore check.
[ ] Leave.

>>22258156

Oh, that was me. I was just making fun of the fact that you keep getting banned

>>22258746

>[ ] Magecraft.

>>22258746
>[ ] Physical clues.
After all, how do you keep a secret from the world's greatest detective?

Rolled 14

>>22258746
[x] Magecraft.

Assuming we should attach a roll along with the vote, maybe?

>>22258746
[X] Lore check.

>>22258746
I say Shirou checks for [X]Magecraft, while Rider checks for [X]Physical Clues

Shirou can into Magic pretty well, and Rider is fairly canny. Division of labor - nt just for manufacturing anymore!

>>22258746
>[ ] Magecraft.
>>22258778
Not until its asked for.

>>22258787
Scratch that, this.

>>22258746
>[x] Magecraft
Gotta keep working on that magic muscle.

>>22258746
[x] Magecraft.

>>22258787

This sounds great,

>Consensus says Magecraft.

[DC18 Magecraft]

>>22258787
This.

So I know, canonically, Shirou has 27 average quality circuits that aren't all activated/whatever in the VN. How does this Shirou stand on that front? I figure it should be a bit easier to try and bust out UBW when it's needed with all of 'em.

Rolled 14

>>22258863
Rollingu

>>22258787
another +1 to this

Rolled 12

>>22258863
>dc18
Ah balls.

Rolled 18

>>22258863

HAHA TIME FOR NAT 1

Rolled 9

>>22258863
Take the shot!

Rolled 7

>>22258863

File: 1356674147397.jpg-(53 KB, 628x480, I'mma Wizzad.jpg)

Rolled 2

>>22258863
Let's get magical.

File: 1356674168976.jpg-(32 KB, 500x375, I See You Fuck Bitches.jpg)

>>22258880
>18
Fuck yeah.

>>22258896
No more rolls! lest our luck from yesterday follow

>>22258909
It wasn't that bad yesterday Other than that nat 1 on a save vs. death
At worst it was extremely bipolar.

>>22258864

In the VN, Shirou has an above average amount of Circuits, but because he wasn't really using them when he was using Magecraft, they atrophied.

And UBW is completely unusable right now, considering Shirou only is able to use it in the VN by using some of Rin's prana (and we also don't know about it anyway).

I close my eyes and focus, trying to find something. I stretch my senses, trying to find some evidence of magecraft and....

"The hell?"

"What is it Shirou?" Rider asks, approaching me.

"I just felt.... something. Like a magical whirlpool."

"Caster's doing?"

"No." I respond, opening my eyes. "It feels a lot older than anything she could've done." I shudder slightly. "Something about all this feels odd. Maybe that disturbance is why she set up shop here?"

"Possibly." Rider responds.

"You find anything?"

"A few cleared out spots where the monks probably come to meditate in peace, but nothing constructive." She responds.

>Actions?

Anyone got ideas or is it time to bug out?

>>22259020

[x] Apply magic, try to find source of magic whirlpool

>>22259020
How much more time do we have?

This is kind of frustrating. We've looked and looked, and while we've got a LOT of useful information which I'm sure will be helpful later, we still havne't gotten what we came for.

>>22259020
Get out. Determination is all well and good, but it's clear there's nothing here. No reason to stick around and get into a fight with Gil if we don't have to.

>>22259082
>>22259125

You guys realize we never finished searching the residential area right?

We gave up partway in after a near miss with Issei.

There's more to search.

Shit, we could also ask him if you wanted.

>>22259082
I know...
Well, there are three posibilities.
1. They're here and we're searching wrong.
2. They're dead (Check with Iliya later to make sure)
3. Caster and Saber were never here and we beat them to the temple (and judging by how Gilgamesh is riding here, he passed them too.)

We did the Main Temple, right?
Damn, how bad did we screw up by not learning anything from Zouken

>>22259170
Because /tg/ went full white knight mode and attacked Zouken even though a small number of people were firmly against the idea.

>>22259060
Will this actually lead us to Caster/Saber? I feel like - with immanent Kinkaiser on the horizon - we need to do SOMETHING which will lead us to the stuff we seek.

I'm REALLY tempted to go back for Issei, but that's just me feeling like we have no other options.

>>22259125
I'm in no mood for wrangling with Gilgamesh right now. If there is no other option, we should seriously consider this.

I can't help but think that we're the missing something.

>>22259159
I'm thinking >>22259155 might have the right idea. This lake is cool, but we need to check it out when we're NOT gonna take a million swords in the ass from a preening Kamen Rider wannabe.

To the residential bits again? Rouse Issei mode?

>>22259159

Caster TELEPORTED. You can't go faster than NOW.

Odds are good that they're either in the residential area, or they bugged out while we were still inbound.

Also, WE CAN'T LEAVE WHILE GIL IS STANDING IN THE ONLY DOORWAY.

We need to either port with Caster, or wait for him to start Searching the temple so e can sneak away.

>>22259207

>Also, WE CAN'T LEAVE WHILE GIL IS STANDING IN THE ONLY DOORWAY.

Ah fuck, that's a good point.

AH FUCK, COWARDICE IS BAD END TERRITORY! WE'RE TRAPPED IN THE TEMPLE!

>>22259196
Yeah, residential area again. What have we got to lose? Other than anal virginity through multiple swords.
>>22259207
I really should have the other threads opened. I should know by now my memory is shit and I can't remember details like this.

>So is there anything like a consensus yet?

>>22259020
Throw exploding sword into magical whirlpool.

>>22259252
Well, look's like we're gonna have to look through the residential area one last time before laying the fuck low.

>>22259277
a bunch of residential and a bunch of panic

>>22259155
Ah shit you're right. Let's do that then. As long as we don't get Rider lynched by angry monks.

I suggest we head towards the disturbance.

Loop through Residential and try to avoid-the-Gilgamesh our way around to the stairs.

>>22259319
Don't forget, AC-Guy said we can die if we're killed. Intentionally going after Gil might not be healthy

>>22259364
We need to save.

>>22259364
The whirlpool is Gil? I thought it was Archer doing something to an existing object.

>>22259396
Save? Save? The hell are you talking about this ain't a video game boy.

"Let's go look over the residential area. We never finished searching there."

"Alright." Rider responds, hesitating. "I need to dismiss my Pegasus. Rin doesn't have the Prana to keep it going forever."

I nod. Apparently we'll need to walk home, or figure something else out.

We walk back over to where the monk's quarters are.

>Search check? Ask Issei for directions? Stand around hoping to see something?

>>22259430
Search check.

>>22259430
Reinforce our eyes, and search more thoroughly.

>>22259430
I am the Roll of my Dice

>>22259430
Search
>>22259450
I can just imagine a Nat 1 making our eyes explode.

>>22259430
Search check.

I opt to try and keep Issei uninvolved for now, and keep searching.

[DC16 Search Check]

Rolled 14

>>22259533
Here comes the 1!

Rolled 11

>>22259533

Rolled 2

>>22259533
My eyes can see everything.

Rolled 4

>>22259533

Fail the fucking easiest check so far....

Rolled 14

>>22259533
Cannot be much worse

Rolled 4

>>22259533

Rolled 2

>>22259533

Rolled 14

>>22259533
Dis some bullshit, yo.

Rolled 16

>>22259533

Rolled 13

Not one roll above 14. Looks like we're involving Issei.

Rolled 16

>>22259549
>>22259592
>>22259619
That's pretty amusing.

>>22259627
I win!

Rolled 19

>>22259470
It's like those threads where folks roll nat 20s on IRL activities, and end up doing shit like jumping to the moon and dying due to lack of oxygen, or brushing their teeth and wrecking their jawbones.

>>22259631
the fuck?

>>22259714
The dice are screwing with you.

>>22259714
>the fuck?
/tg/ dice. You should understand this by now.

After a few minutes of fruitless searching, I hear a voice in the distance.

"Oh ho, I ask 'what's the best way of driving a bike up a staircase', and all I get is 'that's dumb'." Mildly insane laughter follows. "But the King of Heroes will not be thwarted by stairs! BEHOLD MY TRIUMPH!" Glancing around the corner of the building I see the archer breifly pop over the edge, before his back tire breaks loose.

I only see his face, not angry but fixed with the mild disappointment of a child discovering that the sack of gold coins he found were just novelty chocolate, for only a brief moment before he falls crashing back down the stairs.

He then begins yelling what I assume to be curse words in a language I don't understand. time is clearly running out.

>Actions?

>>22259849
Fuck it we ask Issei for help.

>>22259866
Well, since this is pretty much our last option, I say we take it.

>>22259849

[x] Fix KinKaiser's bike

>>22259849
"Issei my man, my buddy. This is going to sound weird, but hear me out. There is a dream, and I need your help."

>>22259866
Shit, we need to get to this shit.

>>22259866
No helping it, we have to ask for his help and hope Gilgamesh doesn't decide to kill him for shits and giggles.

>Fukkin hot cocoa. All over my everything.

>>22259849
Issei, we need a BIG favor! Can take us to Souichirou and/or a Mysterious Robed Woman carrying a blonde foreigner dressed like a medieval knight?

>That feel when you become a friend's random encounter

>>22259945

>Hot cocoa on AC-Guy's control stick

>>22259945
Disaster strikes!

>>22259956
How horrible. He's going to have to dismantle it and dry everything individually.

File: 1356678074578.jpg-(Spoiler Image, 40 KB, 800x600)

>>22259849
>I only see his face, not angry but fixed with the mild disappointment of a child discovering that the sack of gold coins he found were just novelty chocolate, for only a brief moment before he falls crashing back down the stairs.

I'm feeling something vaguely like pity for Gilgamesh. This is uncomfortable. Image is closest thing to a disappointed Gilgamesh face I have.

[x] Ask Issei.

>>22259945
Could be worse.
Could be willy pete.

>>22259974
Play F/HA?

>>22259974
I have to agree. he buys a brand new toy, only to find it doesn't wanna play with what he has in mind. Shit sucks.

(And this version of Gilgamesh is fairly open-minded. he's willing to accept modern contrivances as something other than MONGREL IMITATIONS! I'm half tempted to suggest that, if we don't die, we should offer to fix it for him!)

i

>>22260068
Nope. English patch not finished - and unlikely to ever be probably - so I haven't bothered. Been a while since I checked though. Seen paint dry faster.

>>22260068
What is that even at now, 78.1%?
And how much of it's been put through google translate?

>>22260094
That gives me an idea. If we're not out of here before he shows up, we compliment him on his good taste in transportation while simultaneously flattering him (something like "You have outstanding taste in bikes sir. But what else should I have expected from the King of Heroes himself?"), then we offer to fix it for him.

>>22260134
>>22260107
88.1% Only problems with typos, no derp speak. Hopefully a patch will actually update it.

While it's disappointing that they hadn't finished the end, the way the game is made, you don't need 100% to enjoy most of it

>>22260165
I'm pretty sure Gil hates sycophants.

File: 1356679266072.gif-(409 KB, 480x270, 1351570584467.gif)

>>22260222
I just really don't see the point of starting something like a VN if it's impossible to finish it.

>>22260165
The second bit seems to be laying it on a bit thick. Just compliment the bike - because it is undoubtedly nice with the way Gil hurls money around - and offer to help with repairs.

Just so we're all on the same page and AC-guy doesn't return to think the vote changed, we're going to talk to Issei first, and only go diplomancer with Gilgamesh when we run into him, right?

"Fuck it." I say finally, running over to Issei's room.

After I knock a couple of times, I hear rustling noise, and Issei cracks his door open. "Shirou? What're-" He hesitates, looking past me. "Who the-"

"Huh?" I turn, and then look back. "Oh, that's Rider. Listen, do you know where Souichirou-Sensei is?"

"Huh?" Issei shakes his head. "Why are you looking for him in the middle of the night?"

"He might be in mortal danger." i respond. "On a related note, you should probably stay in your Room. Wizard business."

Issei stares blankly at me, and then at Rider. After a moment to collect his thoughts, he points me in the proper direction. His eyes never quite leave Rider as he shuts the door and we depart.

As we get to the room, I can hear muffled voices inside.

I knock. The voices silence instantly, and the knob turns. The door opens for a split second, and I see Caster standing there. She does a visible double-take as we stand there, and then slams the door.

>Actions?

>>22260322

Probably a matter of when, not if.

Also inb4 nat 1 on fixing Gil's Bike.

>>22260339

She might be about to blast us, distract her by warning her about Gil!

>>22260339
Knock again louder, and if the don't answer kick the door down. There's no time for modesty.

>>22260339
"There is a worse alternative making his way up the stairs. Open the door."

>>22260339
Well... that was a lot easier than I thought it would be.

>>22260339

Knock again.

"Also, the previous war's archer is coming up the stairs. On a bike.

If you'd prefer your honeymoon home not to turn into a hole in the ground. It might be best to open up now."

>>22260339
>His eyes never quite leave Rider as he shuts the door and we depart.
Oh god now he thinks we're having heterosexual sex in the missionary position while holding hands and gazing lovingly into each other's eyes with Rider.

>>22260339
Knock insistantly, talk through the door regarding Gil and Archer and the danger that they represent.

>>22260339
Knock again. Prepare to sword and/or kick the door down.

"There is a highly motivated King of Heroes on his way. Please open the door."

Always be polite. And, if that fails, bust the goddamn door in.

>>22260388
We convinced him him we're dating Rin, in an earlier topic, didn't we? He must think we've moved on already, what a player.

>>22260388

The most awkward part about interrupting your friend's fap session to you, is doing it with someone you're more likely sexing instead.

>>22260269
F/HA mostly exists just to see how the cast handles life NOT in the middle of a drama bomb. It's Fate/Slice of Life. And then at the end of the fourth day you advance the story a bit

>>22260339
Caster, I'm not entirely sure what happened but I AM entirely sure that the King of Heroes is coming up the steps on a sport bike, and I'm pretty sure you don't want to tangle with him alone.

>>22260339
"I apologize for bothering you, but last war's Archer is here and you need to get out of here before he finds you. He's rather obsessed with Saber and he learned that you have her."

>>22260421
Let's hope she didn't leave any hairs lying around, or he'll have a third voodoo doll to stab.

File: 1356680064600.jpg-(150 KB, 800x600, Fha-rel3.1.jpg)

>>22260427

>>22260339
Ha ha! Poor Caster. This is like something right outta Carnival Phantasm.

>>22260380
THIS.jpg Let her know Gilgamesh is coming and he's not exactly on a happy housecall.

>>22260388
Issei isn't jealous. He's confused as fuck. Shirou's running around with a chick in S&M getup asking where Issei's bro is in the middle of the night.

Here's hoping we can sort this out without calamity

>>22260439
We need to get Saber to convince Caster to go with us. How else are we going to convince Caster to leave her workshop, where she's at her most powerful, to go with us to the church, cut off from her prana supply.
Only saber can really vouch for Archer's strength.

>>22260633
Assuming Saber's in any condition to anything.

Hopefully, when we open the door all we find is Caster and Souichiro struggling to get Saber into Gothic Loli clothes

I knock on the door. "I admit that I might not be who you want to see right now, but there's a much worse alternative coming up the stairs."

There's a moment of silence, then I hear a voice. "Shirou?"

"Oh good, saber's here too, that saves time."

"Don't let him in!" Caster hisses. "Assassin and his Master are still around! They could be trying to trick us!"

"What? I'm sure it's Shirou..." Saber responds hesitantly.

"How could you tell without a bond between you? It's exactly the sort of trap that would lure you in!"

"Can we debate this when we don't have an enemy Archer inbound?" I ask, pinching the bridge of my nose. "I mean, he's gonna kill us all when he gets here."

"In my sanctum?" Caster scoffs. "No, I feel much safer here even without you, Assassin. Begone, trickster."

I can feel Saber hesitate behind the door, and a faint coughing.

>What do?

File: 1356681875770.jpg-(47 KB, 480x640, Saber-dislikes-formal-clo(...).jpg)

>>22260680

While this would be hilarious and hot, I don't want to bet on Caster planning to convert Saber into her docile meatpuppet jut yet. Archer (i.e. Dick Future Us) REALLY did a number on her.

She's probably regrouping as we speak.

Saber's likely a prisoner, but will probably be treated well. Hell, she might have even talked Caster down from some more drastic actions.

(on an unrelated note: I'm having trouble replying in this thread. Am I alone in this?)

Rider and I already chased off Zouken and his new Servant. Saber, tell Caster how screwed she is when Archer gets here

>>22260847

"We already chased off Zouken and his pet.

Saber, tell Caster about the previous Archer. I'm not kidding. Hes trying to ride his bike up the steps."

>>22260847
Goddamn it, tell an embarrassing detail about our home life that Saber would be party to.

>>22260847
It's Saber. Just promise her that you'll cook here whatever she wants if she lets you in.

>>22260864
>that pic
I don't get it. All she did was remove the breast plate of her "armor"

>>22260847
"Caster. Me and Rider already chased off Assassin. We have the scariest fucker from the last war inbound. Saber, if you let me in I'll cook you anything you want, except Chinese food, I can't make Chinese food right."

>>22260847
Trace Rule Breaker and slide it under the door.
"Can Assassin do that?"

>>22260847
Tell them something unimportant - at least mostly - about Saber that only he should know.

Maybe her participation in the last war and who her master was?

>>22260864
>trouble replying
Not that I've noticed. Captcha issues?

>>22260883
...no? You do know Saber dresses in mostly blue, right? You know who Saber is, right?

>>22260847
Sigh and mutter how you don't have time for this before listing all the meals we served Saber on what days for the last week. After that tell Saber that while we suffered from our seizure, the first thing we tried to tell her was "I'm fine" and you started to think Shirou's an idiot.

If anything the second one would be harder for any assassin to know.

>>22260919
This.

>>22260847

Dammit, Caster, we do NOT have time for this.

I'm archive-bingeing now so I can recall some specific incidents which happened between caster and us, so we can quote it in detail to her. Shit, gotta search more.

>>22260888
Or do this. Doing this is also good.

"Saber, I swear by Avalon and Sakura's successful treatment that I am not Assassin. Now PLEASE open the damned door before 4th War Archer murders us."

>>22260944
Does Caster know Saber's identity already? Because otherwise, mentioning Avalon seems like a terrible idea.

>>22260944
>>22260965
Yeah, let's not drop Avalon's name in front of Caster.

>Shit, sorry guys. Connection issues.

>Alright, if you want to list cooking choices to convince Saber, I'm not re-reading all the prior threads.

>Also, you're kinda everywhere with your evidence.

>>22261113
Just go with the no Chinese

>>22260919
Voting for this, since I'm not sure Rulebreaker would fit under the door.

>>22260914
Ignoring the colors, I mean. It's no more formal than her "armor" is and just a battle practical to boot.

>>22261188

Someone's never worn a strapless dress before, I see.

>>22261196
And someone's never worn a flowing dress and metal high heels to a fight, I see.

>>22261207
Fights are unbecoming of a little girl.

>>22261207

I'm absolutely not trying to say Saber's regular outfit is practical, but that dress is one of the few ways to make it less so.

>>22261113
RULE BREAKER
UNDER THE DOOR
OR INTO THE DOOR or wait actually
[x] Rule Breaker the hinges.

>>22261113
Swap the order around then and tell her about the seizure first, then meals.
On the first morning it was a simple breakfast of eggs and toast, after the seizure we had Miso soup and rice for breakfast....
I'm now at the 5th thread. This is fate/stay again, not Fate/stay in the kitchen. not as much mention of food. I'll find more if need be.

"Saber?" I ask, and then let out a sigh. "What do I have to say to convince you that it's me?"

Silence.

I lean against the wall next to the door. "Alright. You were summoned by my Dad in the Last war, you called me an idiot because I tired to shrug off a magically induced seizure, annnd... I can't cook Chinese food."

I can hear a whispered conversation behind the door. "Alright, how about that time in the dojo when you told me I was hand-" I feel a hand grab me by the shoulder and drag me roughly into the room, making me land awkwardly on the floor.

Saber slams the door shut and glares at me, while Caster looks between us confused. "It's him. He's gained a bit of a mouth since the last time we spoke, but it's him." Saber says, equal parts angry and flustered.

"Right then." I say standing up, and straightening my shirt. "Saber, I came here to save you."

"Oh really?" Caster comments. "Wouldn't Archer be a bigger concern?"

"He was. After he made a go at killing me, he kidnapper Rin and the Party got gatecrashed." I sigh. "Part of our deal was intel on the war, right? The archer from the last war is running around, actually trying to kill you and save Saber. For his own reasons."

Caster shakes her head. "Wait, why would he be after me?"

"Because you vanished with her while apparently collaborating with someone trying to kill her Master." I respond evenly. "There's more, but the pressing thing is that he's here, right now."

>>22261281

Caster hesitates, and looks at the bedding on the floor. That's when I notice Souichirou-Sensei slightly pale and coughing in his sleep. "If I'm not here to stabilize him, he'll die. I can make a contract with Saber and have her support me like a Servant, we might be able to repel him."

Saber shakes her head. "It's possible she's right. My only real disadvantage would be a lack on Mana. I might be able to fend him off with Caster's help."

>What do?

>>22261288

[x] Re-contract with Saber, go out and show 'I saved Saber'+Fix his bike

>>22261313
+1

>>22261288
Nope.
Re-Contract with Saber. Ask Caster if she can use her magic to find a lost artefact. Promise to distract the Archer and return with said artefact to heal Souichirou.

>>22261288
"Or, I could re-contract with Saber. Because you're kinda boned without my help and I'd rather not lose Saber, I happen to like her even though she eats me out of house and home."

>>22260488
Why does Ilya always look like she's hiding something? Like a penis?

>>22261288
If Caster can give Saber the Mana she requires, then Saber can Excaliblast Archer, wounding and/or killing him. If Caster wants to keep Saber after that, we trace Rule Breaker and take Saber back.

Just throwing this out there. Caster's on our side (for now).

>>22261313
This.
>>22261355
Because she is.

>>22261357
Why wait to see if she wants her back? Do it right after we're done with Archer.

>>22260965
>>22260988

Alright, no mentioning of Avalon. But still - it was something sacred to her which we both know.

Likewise, with Caster - recount the time we met at the school. Kiss her ass a little, but give great detail, repeating the EXACT words she said to us.

Give her the complete rundown of what happened after Archer turned asshole on us all, and then tell her WHY Gilgamesh coming is a BAD THING. Ask her to reinforce her hearing and listen to the sounds of an abused motorcycle if she still distrusts us.

File: 1356684717168.jpg-(25 KB, 499x351, Kiritsugu reading the Ily(...).jpg)

>>22261361
lewd

>>22261288
Have Caster give Saber a Mana pick me up, then let's go fix KinKaiser's bike. With Excalibur.

>>22261386
So, about those posting problems...

This is how we try to kill Gilgamesh? Recruit him! The greatest bro story never told

>>22261313
this looks pretty tempting. We still have to face off against Archer yet (within 24 hours, IIRC) and the bullshitting does seem to be this Shirou's strong suit.


>>22261416
This would be kickass, but we don't have enough prana to let her pull off a successful Excaliblast. We'd also have to do it outside, away from Issei and the monks.

IF Saber bonds with Caster, we need to make a deal with her about this. What's stopping her from command-sealing Saber into cutting us apart? We're in her stronghold, we need assurances.

Make Caster swear on Souichiro's life she won't turn on us if we fight off Gilgamesh using Caster's prana.

>>22261385
Because we don't want to just suddenly steal Saber back surprising Caster and leading her to believe that we've betrayed her. If she willingly returns saber (which I doubt will happen) we are pretty much allied. If she double crosses us (which I also doubt), THEN we take Saber back.

"Sorry, but I think I'd prefer to rebond with Saber."

Saber frowns slightly and then nods. Caster shakes her head. "I suppose that borrowing your servant is too much to ask." Caster says, resigned. She kneels down beside Souichirou, pulling her hood back slightly to get a better look at him. "Go. He'll likely be too distracted by me to try and stop you when he arrives."

"Hey, I didn't say I was going to abandon you-"

"You may as well." She says, turning to me. there's no heat in her voice as she continues. "Without Assassin or my Master's help the place isn't secure. Without that security, my time is limited. Without Saber's help I can't win, and I can't retreat without killing him." She says, with a nod to Souichirou. "According to Saber we might be able to hold him off if we cooperated, but if she's handicapped by your limited Prana then she'll be useless in that fight."

I glance to Saber, who merely hangs her head. I look back to Caster. "you really think there's no other way?"

"I certainly can't see one." She responds, shaking her head. "I can't give her Prana if she's connected to someone else."

I hesitate, trying to think of an alternative. I feel Saber tug my sleeve. "Shirou. Perhaps we should just leave."

I sigh, and we step outside. "I'm not sure I like running away like this." I say after a long moment.

>>22261644

Saber and I hold hands, and speak simple oaths to try and establish our bonds.... but nothing happens.

"Huh?" Saber says confused. "There's nothing to-" Her concerns are cut off by a crashing noise as Archer's bike lands in the courtyard in two pieces. The man himself stalks up the stairs holding a Katana, clearly furious.

"USELESS MACHINE!" he yells. "Now that's it's dead,I am going to fucking save Saber, and then I am going to fucking FUCK Saber." He growls. "And dammit, I'll MAKE her like it."

>?

>>22261652
Uh, Caster, I think we might have to go with your plan after all. He's here.

>>22261652
My plans have not changed.
[ ] Let Saber form a contract with Caster, Exacliblast Archer.

>>22261652
SHIT
FUCK
CASTER YOU'RE UP

>>22261652

Walk up to the bike, just sit down there and repair /reinforce it.

We can repair it, we can make it better!

>>22261682

He cut it in half.

It's dead, Jim.

>>22261652
"That's a nice bike you have. I could fix it up if you want. Wouldn't be any trouble."

>>22261652
Wait a minute, Sakura doesn't have a servant. We can give Saber to Sakura after dealing with KinKaiser!

>>22261682
"I am going to fucking save Saber, and then I am going to fucking FUCK Saber." He growls. "And dammit, I'll MAKE her like it."

Your plan has a problem

>>22261652

"that is a poor way to treat your steed, Acher."

Walk out with saber, showing him that she is in no danger.

"how can you gain saber's affection if you do not treat that which you ride, well?"

Heal/repair the bike and make it better!
>>22261695

Doesn't really matter to shirou. He can fix it.

>>22261652

>Saber and I hold hands, and speak simple oaths to try and establish our bonds.... but nothing happens.
>speak simple oaths to try and establish our bonds.... but nothing happens.
>nothing happens.

Wait, Shirou can't form contracts?

What the fuck?

>>22261661
>>22261670
>>22261679

This, agree to loan her Saber in the short-term. Hash out a quick contract, and then figure out something later.

>>22261697

This seems like a good a plan as any.

>>22261704

Use it against him.

"saber, you'll admire/like someone who can take proper care of their mount, right?"

>>22261770
Yes, this is a good idea. I mean, if he wants to mount her, he needs to conduct himself in a more rightful fashion, and not abuse them.

Bullshitting should still be shirou's first line of defence.

If it fails, saber can run back to caster while shirou and rider hold the line.

>>22261798

"how will let you mount her if you dont treat your current one properly?"

/then watch shirou become a star

I knock on the door.

"Caster?"

"You're still here?" I hear her ask confused as I force the door open.

"Yeah, change of plans." I respond, dragging Rider and Saber inside. "Archer's here, and kinda pissed."

Caster hesitates, and then shakes her head. "I don't see what you think I can do...."

I look to Saber, who gives me a nod. "I can loan you saber's assistance until we repel Archer." I offer.

Caster Hesitates, and then shakes her head. "I need more than that. Her service until I can figure out my Master's illness and establish a new territory? I'd be willing to sign a Geas of non-aggression until Saber's returned to you."

"How long would that take?"

She shrugs. "A few days, at most. Perhaps less if you were willing to help me."

[ ] Yes.
[ ] No.
[ ] Renegotiate.

>>22261878
>[ ] Yes.

File: 1356687702916.gif-(437 KB, 500x282, gil time.gif)

>>22261652
>>22261878
IT'S HAPPENING

[X] Yes. We aren't Kerrytugu enough to take advantage of this.

>>22261878
>[ ] Yes, but also propose an alliance with the other Servants that were at the church until the whole deal with Avenger is done and over.

>>22261644
Dammit, Caster! No last stands here while you're helpless! Come on! THIS IS THE NASUVERSE! NUT UP OR SHUT UP!

>>22261748
If we're to engage against Gilgamesh, we have to have a powered-up Saber. We should probably do as >>22261770 suggests, and play on Gil's ego. This should throw Gil off-balance while, force him to cool his jets a touch.

Every time we interact with Caster I feel like she's going to be offed soon. At some point, we need to tell Caster (with regards to Souichirou) "A man who respects romantic escapades deserves a better fate than this".

Come on, Caster. We're plucky shonen protags! Buy into our optimism!

>>22261920
>Optimism
>Nasuverse

The fuck kind of Nasu-named tripfag are you?

>>22261878
>>22261919

THIS. We're aware that she's shifty. We need to make sure there will be NO teamkilling going on here. Archer stung badly enough

>>22261878

Yes but after that we need to have a serious talk about your goals with no backstabbing trickery.

I do wish to help you and souchirou-sensei.

Also i propose we attempt to bullshit Gil before we attack. We just might get out of this without combat.

>>22261920
>plucky shonen protags
No we're not. If we were, nothing in the world could stop us teamed up with Rin, because plucky shonen heroes and magical schoolgirls are the two most powerful things in anime. We got our shit slapped, proving that we are NOT a plucky shonen hero.
>>22261946
You are aware that violating a Geis KILLS YOU, right? That's how Cu Chulainn died. He had two conflicting Geasa. One never to eat dog meat, and another to eat any food given to him by a woman. When a woman gave him dog meat...

>>22261970

>Actually, it depends of the severity of the Geas in question.

>Some can kill you, or seal your magic, or just make you feel Ill.

>Cu died because he was violating high level Geas left and right for WEEKS because of Morgan fucking with him.

>>22261970
No it doesn't, it just shuts off your circuits. And I don't know enough of Cu's legend, but wasn't he fed a plate of dog's meat by women the night before a battle? Eating the Dog's meat and refusing a meal would take his powers away IIRC.

>>22261919
+1 to this

We've learned our lesson with Archer. Last thing we need is Caster murdering everyone we know and love while we're powerless to stop it due to a magical contract we didn't fully think through.

Specify that the non-aggression pact applies to the people and servants who were with us at the Church before things went to hell.

>>22261878

>[x]Yes.
But we NEED to mention what happened at the church, and mention that a new servant class has appeared.

>>22262001
>Bitches, man

>>22261919
This sounds like a plan, but do we have the time to hash everything before KinKaiser smashes his gold plated dick through the door?

Saber, get naked and bite his dick off. Foolproof plan.

>>22262110
We'll find out pretty soon.
And I thought his dick wasn't gold plated, but cast our of solid gold. Insert inappropriate "soft metal" jokes here"

I hesitate. "Yes, but on the condition that the other Servants who were at the Church count as 'allied' until we have some idea what in the hell avenger is planning."

"Avenger?" Caster asks confused.

"Yeah, you missed a lot when you and Saber left. I'll bring you up to speed as soon as we aren't in mortal danger."

Caster hesitates, and then nods. A few moments later, she finishes crafting the geas on a piece of paper. "It's straightforward enough. If either of us violates the rather simple terms, we have our ability to use magic sealed until either death or the other party chooses to forgive."

"Why that clause?"

"To cover a possible contingency where directly adhering to the rules is impossible. The contract is set to last a week, with the ability for us to opt out early if we desire."

"Done." I respond, placing a drop of my blood in the place she points out. "and when the contract between us is broken, you're connection to saber is gone?"

"Yes." Caster responds with a nod. "Now we need to figure out what to do about that Archer."

"How so?"

"There are many methods of Prana transfer, unfortunately even the most powerful will require me a few moments. Saber's capacity is dangerously low at the moment."

".... And we can't even leave the room because he could force you to come back for your Master." I respond, thinking fast. "I'll need to distract him."

>But how?

>>22262217
>>But how?
Bullshitting time!
We go outside and offer to fix his bike for him!

>>22262217
Why, we fix his motorcycle of course!

...
No, of course I'm not serious. We're going to earn the title "the Blade of Wit" someone jokingly said the association will give Shirou

>>22262217
Inform him Saber isn't in immediate danger, and offer to fix the broken bike.

If that doesn't fly tell him that he should wait a few minutes, because if he barges in now they won't have time to get Saber into her goth loli outfit, and missing that sort of once-in-a-lifetime sight would be a huge waste.

>>22262217

UBW time

Seriously, looks like we will have to go out there and detract him.

Perhaps congratulate him on getting her, offering to fix his bike, saying that Saber is safe, asking about his connection with Avenger, how many people he defeated in the last war....

We just have to keep him talking, we will have to appeal to his pride.

>>22262301
Or maybe...
We could just ask him about Enkidu.
But wait, Shirou probably hasn't read the Epic of Gilgamesh.
Damn.

>>22262206
I think his metal dick is pretty hard right now.

File: 1356689986598.jpg-(66 KB, 640x553, your-resistance-makes-pen(...).jpg)

>>22262332

>>22262281
This, especially the goth loli part.

Where the fuck is Rin?

>>22262377
Captured by Archer, wherever the hell he is.

It's time to GAMBLE!
>summon a chair

File: 1356690334514.jpg-(53 KB, 331x352, USAF SecFor Patch.jpg)

>>22262350
SecFor are assholes.

>So the plan is to try and bullshit Archer?

[DC16 Ramble Check]

Rolled 14

>>22262427
Rollan

Rolled 20

>>22262427
They call you Lady Luck
But there is room for doubt
At times you have a very unladylike way of runnin' out
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZH21_YzuQ5s

Rolled 18

>>22262427

Rolled 1

>>22262445
You're on this date with me
The pickins have been lush
And yet before this evening is over
You might give me the brush

>>22262445
OK EVERYONE CAN STOP NOW

>>22262445

>Nat 20.

>... This'll be fun.

>>22262456
Fuck.

>>22262445
We're Shirou, the Blade of Wit

>>22262427
Rolli--
>>22262444
>>22262445
>>22262452
Holy fuck that was fast.
>>22262445
You. I like you.
>>22262456
That's right, use up the 1s after the first three rolls.

Rolled 1

>>22262427
"Quick! Red Archer has stolen Saber while she was wearing a wedding dress! After him, KinKaiser! You're her only hope!"

>>22262474
Not. Helping.

>>22262474
>>22262456
Two 1s after the first three rolls are already in. LIVING ON THE EDGE BABY.

File: 1356690896476.jpg-(190 KB, 436x600, xzIXe.jpg)

>>22262474
This guy.

File: 1356690897659.jpg-(40 KB, 400x504, 1291966941_6hdba.jpg)

>>22262474
>>22262484
>>22262456

>>22262445

Shirou, King of Bullshit

>>22262495
>LIVING ON THE EDGE BABY
You forgot your youtube link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8mdq6fzzYM
And when you forget your youtube link you might as well jump off a cliff.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7q_12tYZdA

>>22262500 >>22262499 >>22262484

There is just no pleasing you mongrels.

This router, this router this router this router this router this router this router this router this router this router this router this router this router this router this router this router this router this router this router

File: 1356692324999.gif-(2.65 MB, 480x268, 1347132834300.gif)

>>22262427
>>22262445

So.. uh.. how do we Bullshit him exactly?

From the Post itself it looks like Shirou does a Sinatra-Impression to confuse him.

File: 1356692364701.png-(297 KB, 576x432, This Router.png)

>>22262657

>>22262685

HOLY SHIT! WHY DIDN`T I SOONER COME UP TIH THAT.

Guys! Guys, listen! To stop Gilgamesh we obviously have to take off Saber`s Ahoge!

>>22262685
Nah, the whole "Luck Be A Lady" thing is something we do on occasion (when we REALLY need it) in AC-Quest to gry and improve dice. Doesn't always work but I figured it was worth a shot.

"Rider, stay here in case this plan fails." I tell her.

"Why? What are you planning?"

"It'll take too long to explain. Plus, throwing bad ideas out there tends to make people try and stop me." I respond calmly, and I shut the door behind me as I cross the yard at a light jog. "Hey Archer! I'm glad you made it!"

"Eh?" He says, turning to me. Then he blinks. "Wait, you're Saber's Master?"

"Yeah, Shirou." I respond, acting slightly out of breath. "Bit of a jog from here to the Church."

"Bit of a j- How did you get here before me?" he asks, bewildered and angry.

"I took a shortcut."

"You.... you took.... a short-cut....." Archer repeats, slowly. "A shortcut that let you outrun a motorcycle across an entire city, in the dark, across a river, and up a mountain."

"Yeah. It's super convenient." I respond. "Shame the only two Holy sites in town are a bit out of the way, otherwise I'd do it more often."

Behind Archer's eyes, I can see gears grinding to a halt. "What."

"Yeah, when you step outside the church you just kinda turn left and go."

Archer blinks, and then begins massaging the temples on either side of his head. "Alright, I'll worry about that later. Now Peasent-"

"Shirou."

"-dipshit, don't care." He responds, gaze venomous. "Where's Saber?"

"Oh, off talking to Caster."

"You left her with her kidnapper?"

"Yeah. Turns out I kinda misread the situation a bit." I respond with a nervous chuckle. "Whoops."

"Define 'misread'."

>>22262741

"Apparently they're talking about getting married." Archer does a visible double take. "Or one of them is, and there was something about a dress? I don't know." I shrug. "Chick stuff. And not fun chick stuff like ribbons and Unicorns, so I kinda stopped paying attention."

"Wait, they're discussing marriage in the middle of-"

"What happened to your bike?" I ask, feigning shock.

"I happened to it."

"Why? It was a nice bike."

"It wouldn't go up a staircase." He responds, giving it an irritated glance.

"Bikes aren't made for stairs." I respond. looking at him. "You shouldn't have broke it."

"I don't care, I'll buy another."

"Can I have it? I mean, if it's garbage...."

"I don't care." He says, grabbing me by the shoulders. "Take the bike. Fuck the bike. Cease your mindless babble and tell me where Saber is!"

".... You seem upset." I say hesitantly. His smile slowly turns into an insane grin.

"Imagine that." A glowing ring begins to appear between us as he shoves me away. A trio of swords begin to emerge.

"Ooooh...." I say, enraptured. "Nice. I like swords."

"Of course you do. You'll appreciate them more in use." He comments, as they spin to face me.

"Not sure that's the best idea."

"Oh? And why is that?" He asks, with a mocking sneer.

"Well, you like Saber, and you want Saber to like you.... but Saber likes me. I don't think killing someone she likes is a good way to win her heart."

>>22262747

A long silence passes, and Archer seems to have a horrible revelation. "Good lord, you're not stupid at all, are you?"

"Nah, Caster just said something about distracting you while she performed a contingency plan. She'll be along any second now." I respond smugly, knowing full well she isn't. "Any second...."

A long awkward silence happens. ".... So...." Archer begins, giving me a look. "They sent you out here by yourself to distract me?"

"Yeah, beginning to suspect that the left me here to die and teleported out."

"Where on EARTH could they have gone to then?"

"The Church?" I respond with a shrug. "Good ley-lines, Nice location. I mean, it even has the SHORTCUT. I'm just glad they'll be walking into enemy ground, seeing as how they don't know about Avenger."

Roughly three seconds later, Archer runs back down the stairs, summoning some sort of giant bird thing as he runs.

Saber emerges with caster, and I turn to them. "Hey, would you guys mind helping me get my new bike home?"

I'm met by a trio of blank stares.

>Saber safe.... What next?

File: 1356692848972.jpg-(171 KB, 799x603, 1351260131258.jpg)

We should suggest this as an alternative to the motorcycle.

>>22262751
Figure out some way to get the bike home. And where we're gonna find the money to have it repainted. Maybe black, with some purple trim?

>>22262751
"Guys. Everything is okay, 4th War Archer is an idiot. It's almost like you don't have any confidence in me.

I wonder if I can fix this bike, it's an awful nice bike. Oh, right, Rin. I should probably rescue her, still, it's a nice bike so I might have to put off any rescuing. Nah, rescuing comes first.

So, Caster. Mind telling me about you and Souichibro? It's not just a Master/Servant thing is it? Is he even a magus?

Oh right, Rin, Caster, can you track her and Archer down? It'd save me an awful lot of running around."

>>22262751

[x] Bring everyone to stay at shirou's place.

There should be some residue mana on the residence help sustain Caster for awhile.

>>22262751
Inquire about Caster and Souichibro. He certainly doesn't seem like a Magus.

And see if Caster can do some magic juju and track Archer and Rin.

Self-sage for offtopic.

Ahem. I just happened to loaf by, and gave this thread a look, and... oh my. You guys really love mutilating canon, don't you?

I mean, mutilating is putting it lightly. You're driving a freight train over every semblance of canonicity.

That aside... um... carry on.

>>22262751
We should ask Caster why we couldn't contract with Saber. It might be important.
Then we need to get back to the church before Gil, if only to pull the 'what are you talking about, I've been here all along' routine on him.

>>22262794

>This is what happens when you let /tg/ drive.

>I inherited this quest from someone else, and I know for a fact that he only changed TWO things. I didn't really do anything else, the other 99% was /tg/, and the logical consequences of letting /tg/ run wild.

Fix bike, ride it to Tohsaka residence. It's the most logical place for Archer to set shop in.

Also, invite Caster and the others to our house.

>>22262802
>if only to pull the 'what are you talking about, I've been here all along' routine on him.

I think we would break him, and he seems like the kind of guy who defaults to violence when his brain breaks.

>>22262802
Yeeeeeessss. We can distract him for WEEKS by getting him to look for the SHORTCUT.

File: 1356693636571.png-(72 KB, 698x658, Tsuruya laugh.png)

>>22262751
It's 6am and I'm trying so hard not to wake everyone else up laughing!

Goals accomplished:
>Saber, Caster, Souichiro-bro-sama saved.
>Gilgamesh Trolled
>Zouken knocked down a peg.

New problem:
>KinKaiser is now heading to the Church, where he will probably level it, Kotomine "ordering" him not to be damned.

>>22262751
Anyway. Tell Caster to get Souichiro-bro-sama and take us all to the church, we'll explain everything there. We have a lot to do before KinKaiser arrives at the church.
And I already know what we'll do with the motorcycle. "Saber, how would you like a mount?"

>>22262794
Oh, you have no idea how much we've fucked up canon at this point. We've stopped caring LONG ago and we're just in it for the thrill now.

>>22262794
What do you expect when you put /tg/ in the driver's seat? We're shooting for an "everyone lives" route after all. Hell we even saved Ayako from Shinji. Then Tohsaka flahy-thinged her.

>>22262773
>>22262789
Uh, guys. Rider is still contracted to Rin. We can literally just ask her where she is.

File: 1356693982443.gif-(410 KB, 250x251, 1335705546823.gif)

>>22262794
...Yes. And?

>>22262849
Oh, that makes life easier.