[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k] [cm / hm / y] [3 / adv / an / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / hc / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / po / pol / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / x] [rs] [status / ? / @] [Settings] [Home]
Board:  
Settings   Home
4chan
/tg/ - Traditional Games


File: 1356309559514.png-(142 KB, 225x234, 1336451289792.png)
142 KB
You stare into the eyes of Amelia Earhart, world-famous pilot and Witch.

You take a long draught from your beer, savoring the taste. You squeeze your eyes shut, then open them again.

"I'm sorry," you say politely. "What did you just say?"

"Dr. Seuss and Lindy are beating the shit out of each other!" Amelia exclaims. "I need help to pull them apart!"

Behind you, the best party you've ever instigated rages on - without you.

>Indicate fucks given about Amelia's problem
>>
Oh. Never thought I'd see this again.
>>
go back to the party
>>
>>22190425
"And?"
>>
>Start taking bets

I don't see why Young wants to separate them and generally when two famous figures start beating the shit out of each other, the best thing to do is to make the most out of it.
>>
File: 1356309673681.gif-(997 KB, 500x700, qtyH5.gif)
997 KB
>>22190425
"And this is my problem... how?"
>>
>>22190425

Who the hell is Lindy? And why is it my problem?
>>
>>22190425
>fucks given

Absolutely zero.

"She's YOUR little toy. You deal with her."
>>
>>22190457

Or record it.
>>
File: 1356309702289.gif-(31 KB, 640x480, Care-O-Meter.gif)
31 KB
>>22190425

zero.
>>
>>22190461
I think she's talking about Lindenburg
>>
>>22190461
This
>>
File: 1356309755049.jpg-(121 KB, 565x850, 9b9217a4d3e153a9926edb305(...).jpg)
121 KB
>>22190425
oh shit its the timeining
>>
File: 1356309755415.jpg-(56 KB, 321x448, how about noakuma.jpg)
56 KB
yes

YES

YEEEES

>the number of fucks given is pic related
>>
is it possible to give anti fucks, and instigate even more? That's what we should do.
>>
>>22190425
planefag, just wanna let you know. You made my Christmas.
>>
>>22190522
No, see, our fucks are in a fluid state. To give no fucks, we must take no fucks. Or more accurately we must balance our fucks given and fucks taken to reach a net result of zero fucks.

It's all very zen once you understand.
>>
>>22190544

the Tao of Young.
>>
Wait, didn't our sister set Dr. Seuss on fire?

Maybe we should give a fuck.
>>
>>22190562
Oh shit, right. Fuck.

We just want to spend some fun time with our friends and Minna, is that too much to ask?
>>
>>22190562
>>22190579

We aren't obligated to give a fuck just because our idiot sister set someone on fire.
>>
>>22190425
Robin is involved. We have no choice but to give some sort of a fuck.
>>
>>22190595

no, we have no more fucks to give. robin made her bed, now she can lie in it.

besides, it's party time.
>>
[X] Give less than or equal to zero fucks.
[X] Persuade her to stop giving a dissimilar number of fucks.
[X] Persuade her to forget about it and join the party.
>>
File: 1356310242671.png-(160 KB, 424x553, NKVD.png)
160 KB
>>22190579
>>22190562
Nyet, comrades. You are remembering wrong. Amelia just said that Lindberugh just set Seuss on fire. Perhaps you need to come with me, you're obviously have memory problems.
>>
>>22190595
You think she's somehow responsible for the fight? As this and that may be two separate things
>>
>>22190425
>Your problems? Who cares!
>People ruining my party? THERE WILL BE BLOOD!!! Taking bets now.
>>
File: 1356310256123.jpg-(160 KB, 800x550, SWQ-knightofbarin_zpsdb887a10.jpg)
160 KB
>>
>>22190612
It's entirely possible we give no fucks while putting out fires, figurative or literal.
>>
>>22190595
He does have a point, obvious threats to our sanity and health aside.
>>
>>22190614

Directly in front of you the damaged double-doors are thrown wide by a good-looking woman in flight leathers.

You recognize her instantly.

"COME QUICK!" cries Amalia Earhart. "Your sister just set Dr. Seuss on fire!"

Nope.
>>
Fucks are only given IF our sister is torching people.
>>
File: 1356310408628.jpg-(35 KB, 399x299, 1328149266579.jpg)
35 KB
>>22190425
NO FUCKS

capcha: eseSta Recorder
Actually, capcha's right. We need a camera on that.
>>
File: 1356310409859.png-(368 KB, 1000x1653, 1000px-Emblema_NKVD.png)
368 KB
>>22190635

>"Dr. Seuss and Lindy are beating the shit out of each other!" Amelia exclaims. "I need help to pull them apart!"

Da.
>>
>>22190620
AHahah, YES. THAT IS AWESOME.
>>
File: 1356310536309.jpg-(75 KB, 400x400, 23037617.jpg)
75 KB
>>22190635

Looks like we have a counterrevolutionary in our midst.
>>
A terrible feeling of familiarity weaves its way through the booze-haze. Two people, at least one of them famous, beating the crap out of each other, and somebody wants you to intervene. This bullshit is past stale, it's downright FORMULAIC.

"Yeah, no," you tell Amelia. "Who the hell is Doctor Seuss? What a goofass name." You SLAM the briefing room door right in her face, and repair to the party to enjoy yourself thoroughly, draining your beer as you go. You spot Minna to one side and weave over to her, smiling happily.

"Hey," she says, grinning. "What was that?"

"I think it was Amelia Earheart!" you reply, draining your third beer of the night and tossing the bottle away. You lean in close. "She's famous," you tell Minna seriously.

"Oh," she replies. "What did she want?"

"Something about Lindy and Doctor Snu's fighting," you say, shrugging. There was something else...? About your sister, and fire, but you grew up with the words "sister" and "fire" in very close proximity and nobody ever died yet, so what's one more day?

>IT'S PARTY TIEM
>Who do you want to talk to?
>Who is not present, but SHOULD BE?
>>
File: 1356310652731.jpg-(20 KB, 296x339, Cat-in-the-Hat.jpg)
20 KB
>>22190635
Amelia, you are out of luck
Today, I shall not give a fuck
>>
>>22190706
>IT'S PARTY TIEM
>>
>>22190706
>You SLAM the briefing room door right in her face, and repair to the party to enjoy yourself thoroughly, draining your beer as you go.
>repair
Whoopsies!

Where's our crew?
>>
File: 1356310754457.jpg-(48 KB, 600x674, 1323222431501.jpg)
48 KB
>>22190711
>>
File: 1356310766718.gif-(166 KB, 600x534, 1305409913663.gif)
166 KB
>>22190706

>>IT'S PARTY TIEM
>>
File: 1356310768592.gif-(1.99 MB, 330x275, 1353556180320.gif)
1.99 MB
>>22190706
IT'S PARTY TIME
>>
File: 1356310777921.jpg-(126 KB, 800x550, SWQsup_zps502b2e6d.jpg)
126 KB
>>22190620
>>
>IT'S PARTY TIEM

>>22190724
Dunno about Ian, but Sean and Mio are getting.... acquainted.
>>
>>22190706
>IT'S PARTY TIEM
UNTZ UNTZ UNTZ UNTZ
>>
File: 1356310867916.jpg-(133 KB, 649x776, SWQ-thepilotandthewitch_z(...).jpg)
133 KB
>>22190736
>>
File: 1356310889169.gif-(2.11 MB, 320x221, BITCHESDON'TKNOWABOUTMYWI(...).gif)
2.11 MB
>>22190706
>IT'S PARTY TIEM

>>22190736
>>22190620
Keep them coming comrade.
>>
>>22190706
I'd be more concerned about this, but aren't we vaguely concerned Amelia Bedelia is corrupting our sister?

>IT'S PARTY TIEM
>Robin maybe should be present?
>>
>>22190620
>>22190711
I don't know why, but this quest seems to account for about a third of /tg/'s awesome.
>>
>Who do you want to talk to?

Let`s hit on MInna.
>>
>>22190706

PARTY. TIME.

Also bring Minna.
>>
>>22190768
>>22190762
Those three are the only three he's done so far, but he's said he's gonna do more.
>>
File: 1356311453929.jpg-(150 KB, 492x494, my coffee is getting cold.jpg)
150 KB
>Who is not present, but SHOULD BE?
Heidimarie, obviously.
>>
>>22190762
STARE DOWN THE BEAST.
Now I want to see him do an art of the next stage.

Does he have a DeviantArt account?
>>
>>22190737
In that case, let's get Tesla in here. Seems like it'd be fun.
>>
>>22190907
She's ''taking care'' of Paddy at the moment.
>>
>>22190907
Better get sanya as well.

>>22190922
She is not lewd.
>>
>>22190909
No, unfortunately.
>>
>>22190934
Yes but is Paddy?
>>
>>22190946
Shame.
>>
>>22190934
She will be if Kotters shows up.
>>
>>22190934
Eila too, they have to start somewhere.
>>
>>22190769
Amelia, the 501st, our crew. Pick one who gets to corrupt Robin. Which would you choose?
>>
>>22191027
Most of the 501st survives history.
>>
>>22190769
>>22191027
Are we sure that she'll be the one who's going to be corrupted? Because it seems to me that it'll be the other way around.

Which is admitedly a terrifying prospect.
>>
File: 1356311960882.jpg-(22 KB, 350x250, 7a37b47e655e8672a175f744a(...).jpg)
22 KB
"So," you say to Minna, opening another beer for both of you, "how's the party?"

She smirks at you. "I think if you hadn't done this, we'd all be insane right now," she says. Her eyes cut towards the door, and you know what she's thinking about - the big, dark War that lurks in the shadowed hallways outside. "In fact, I was invited to an officers-only party upstairs, but..." she scans the room, full of jubilant and ever-drunker pilots and Witches -"I think I like this one better." She scans the room, leaning against the party-cart, her lithe body relaxed for the first time in a while. "Where's Ian?"

"He's... talking with Perrine."

Minna squints at you. "Which one of them is tied up?"

"No, actually talking! They both stopped being retarded for a minute."

"Oh. That's good," Minna says, sipping at her beer. "... where's Mio? She'd never miss a party like this."

"Really? Not for anything?"

Minna smiles warmly at a memory only she can see. "Every time. She's Navy, after all, and she's drunk more sailors under the table then you could believe. The only thing that'd make her miss a party is..." Minna blinks.

Her head swivels slowly to look at you.

"Pilot," she says softly. "Where's Sean?"

>truth?
>>
File: 1356311962952.png-(10 KB, 530x670, arrow to the breast.png)
10 KB
>>22190922
such nonesense!
>>
>>22191055
>Drunk sailors under the table
Hue
>>
>>22191055
Improving Amero-Jap relations
>>
>>22191055

[ ] Tell the Truth. "Minna, she's boinking Sean. Right now. Above us.IN THA NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWDZ."
>>
>>22191055
>truth?

Yeah, they're together. She needed the dick before she killed someone.
>>
>>22191055
weeeeelllll, I dunno, but I bet Mio knows.
>>
>>22191055
"Seeing how loud he can make the headboard bang, ma'am."

Pause.

"Letting Mio divebomb his carrier deck?"

Pause.

"Letting her banzai charge with his officer's sidearm?"
>>
>>22191055
''I think that you can guess.''
>>
>>22191093
Voting
>>
>>22191055
I...i think honesty may actually be the best policy here for once.
>>
>>22191055
>quote what Mio said to Sean.
>>
>>22191093
Committing Seppuku with his sword?
>>
>>22191102
But what if it's not? WHAT THEN?
>>
>>22191093
Oh gods, this!
>>
>>22191055
"Drinking Mio under the table. Why?"
>>
>>22191119
This is a good one.
>>
File: 1356312273813.jpg-(20 KB, 351x343, brilliant.jpg)
20 KB
>>22191119
I see what you did there.

And I like it.
>>
>>22191093

THIS!!
>>
>>22191093
this is excellent!
>>
>>22191055
Truth.

"Sean's with Mio, Mio's with Sean. They're probably still fucking."
>>
>>22191093
>>22191119
Heheheh.

Oh god, my sides.
>>
>>22191055

>truth
Bros before hoes, but I'm unsure on how to cover Sean. Going "With Mio" may very well make her storm out of party and fuck bother over (pun intended).
Going "No clue" invites Tsun when she gets wind of us knowing it.

>"No clue"
It's not like we could have enough of it ...
>>
>>22191093
>>22191119
"Trying to get his Nambu to explode in her hands, I bet."
>>
Does anybody still have the 'AND THEN THEY FUCKED' screencap?
Need to convert a bored Texan.
>>
"Dogfighting."

Her familiar's a doberman, right?
>>
File: 1356312533413.png-(45 KB, 1340x241, 1350274583825.png)
45 KB
>>22191205
>>
>>22191139
Minna's getting drunk, so she PROBABLY won't get it. Until Young makes the same offer.

If she still has her mind in the morning after wearing her ahegao face all night Young might be in trouble. On the other hand Sean and Mio won't be in trouble since they didn't do anything Minna didn't do twice.
>>
>>22191186
Winner
>>
File deleted.
>>22191205
Well, you're in luck, since a Texan was the guy who 'capped it in the first place.
>>
File: 1356312618446.jpg-(62 KB, 808x808, 575475f1d9fdb1513a8ff1c94(...).jpg)
62 KB
"I honestly don't know," you reply with compete and utter truthiness.

Minna's eyes harden as she bears down on you. "Oh, really. What DO you know?"

You swallow. "Uh, they saw each other, earlier. Sean broke her gun because it was crap, and then they talked."

"And?"

"They said words," you say cleverly.

Minna closes in, pressing you against the boozecart. "What words did they say?"

"... like, at *first* base or at uh this SECOND base right here at Barin, ahaha, like, not when we were at the bar in Sutton's Farm, right eh heh heh-"

"*Last* words," Minna purrs, sending a thrill of terror up your spine.

"She said, uh... Sean."

"And?"

"Sean, I'm..." you trail off, twirling your hand airily. "It was so... so heartfelt and direct, Minna. The emotion, the raw emotion, the love..." you wipe at your dry eyes. "I can't repeat it here, it was too private... too sweet."

Minna nods, understandingly, before slamming her body into yours, pinning you against the cart, and bringing her knee up against your crown jewels and applying pressure.

"Sean I'm going to fuck you until it's rape," you say immediately, and Minna's eyes widen with pure and utter horror.
>>
>>22191218
>>22191228
Thank you very much, my dear friends of pantsless entertainment.
>>
>mein sides

"LOOK MAN I WAS TRYING TO SOFTEN THE BLOW WITH SOME NICE WHOLESOME INNUENDO SPEAKING OF SOFTENING AND BLOWING I BET HE CAN'T EVEN GET IT UP ANY MORE"
>>
File: 1356312680548.jpg-(633 KB, 1600x900, minna_little_death.jpg)
633 KB
>>22191238
Minna's face when.
>>
>>22191185
>>22191185
If she tries to go bother them, we'll just have to ''stop'' her.
>>
>>22191185
I'm not sure why she'd object to Mio fucking a guy she likes as Mio's a big girl and not some naive newbie and I doubt Minna's stupid enough to get in the way of that.
>>
File: 1356312697545.jpg-(45 KB, 303x322, 1353536763182.jpg)
45 KB
>>22191238
>>
>>22191238
dang it
>>
>>22191238
>"Sean I'm going to fuck you until it's rape," you say immediately, and Minna's eyes widen with pure and utter horror.
Lewd.

And hilarious.

Tell me video recording technology has been witched or Tesla'd enough to record the shitstorm this is going to lead to.
>>
>>22191238
Getting between them would be suicide. I'm sure minna knows this.
>>
>>22191238
>You swallow
For a second I thought that was his answer.
>>
>>22191238
>>Minna nods, understandingly, before slamming her body into yours, pinning you against the cart, and bringing her knee up against your crown jewels and applying pressure.

Second day after hookinh up and he's already whipped.
>>
>>22191102
SEE? I TOLD YOU BUT NOOOOOOOOO
>>
>>22191298
If you go and woo the cat-o'-nine-tials, that's not surprising.
>>
>>22191307
Eh, she would have found out eventually
>>
Never thought I'd see this quest again, it truly is a Christmas miracle. Good thing too, I had just run out of trashy military slice of life anime to watch.
>>
File: 1356313164734.jpg-(215 KB, 1280x720, 1355155021010.jpg)
215 KB
>>22191238
>>
>>22191331

How if only we had Strikers '89, today will be perfect.
>>
>>22191238
NOW KISS MINNA.
>>
>>22191238

...Was saying that part of the plan?
>>
File: 1356313259964.jpg-(232 KB, 1000x1300, That's cute, show me again.jpg)
232 KB
>>22191238
>>
>>22191316
Shush, don't give Planefag, and thus Minna, any ideas.
>>
>>22191339
No, because then you'd have to choose between Strikers and this. And we know what quest wins when planefag rolls around.

>>22191331
What, done with Tank Girls in Pants already?
>>
>>22191364

Yes.

Ice Quest Wins.
>>
>>22191350
Our manhood was threaten, we the way of France for that is the only way to go, unless you want to risk the chance that Miyafuji may not be able to fix you.
>>
File: 1356313366473.jpg-(26 KB, 500x500, 1334275798862.jpg)
26 KB
"What!?" you object, incredulous. "Mio carries a gun and a sword and she finds grenades in her pockets like other people find LINT, honey, she's no victim-"

"Ooooh," Minna says, pinching your cheeks and stretching them out, "you adorable little self-centered moron bastard pilot yooou." Her head falls forward and bumps into your chest. "Dammit, dammit, DAMMIT," Minna complains, banging her head against your chest with each exclamation. "Oh no. Poor Sean. Oh no."

"... what?" you repeat, thoroughly confused.

"My second-in-command is SEXUALLY ASSAULTING A LOWER-RANKED OFFICER!" Minna yells at you, shaking you by your shirtfront. "She's taken advantage of him! Exploited him! She's *forcing herself upon him!* How could you let this happen!?" You see Minna sinking into the dark pit of despair again, mountains of paperwork looming over her head, the Filing Tray of Damocles.

Slowly, through the pleasant boozefuzz, her meaning sinks in.
>>
File: 1356313402075.jpg-(62 KB, 600x800, b20d4a2e6d77772f41d032268(...).jpg)
62 KB
"... HEY," you object. "It's us MEN that do the sexual predation!" you object, striking your chest with your thumb to emphasize the point. "Don't get too cocky!"

"Speak for yourself," Minna purrs, falling against you again. You try to turn your head sideways and sip from your beer, but she plucks it from your hand and tosses it over her shoulder carelessly, eliciting a hoarse shout of surprise from somewhere aft. Your feet scrabble for purchase on the slick wooden floorboards of the briefing room as Minna pulls you in and whispers into your ear.

"Forgot your bathtime adventures already, hmm?"

"iseeyourpoint," you breathe raggedly.

"Oh," Minna sniggers. "Look who's 'cocky' now."

"AMNOT" you sneeze, letting your feet slide on the slick boards, dropping you right out from between Minna and the cart. Prone on the floor, you slide yourself under the cart - only to have Minna seize your ankles.

>She's still upset!
>"Comfort" her about the "scandal" about to explode
>Actually explain it's okay
>>
>>22191364
>20-30 minutes between updates
>can't read both at the same time

The fuck?
>>
>>22191378
Oh, Minna. You card.
>>
>>22191374

We're a big guy.
>>
File: 1356313480295.jpg-(613 KB, 940x705, oh man I totally left the(...).jpg)
613 KB
>>22191378
But Minna it will be at least 40 more years before the courts actually care about females raping males!
>>
>>22191384
>Actually explain it's okay
No, really, it was consensual.
>>
>Actually explain it's okay
Let's not make Mio's life any more uncomfortable. Poor thing has to command twelve little girls with PTSD.
>>
>>22191393
Not for long with that frame of mind.
>>
>>22191393

It may be extremely painful.
>>
>>22191384

>Actually explain it's okay. Mio needs this.
>>
Blah blah SuWQ blah blah bitching blah blah SWQ blah blah blah.

>>22191384
Comfort mode, engage!
>>
>>22191411
"Minna, he consented the shit out of her. It was the most horrible bloodbath of willingness I've ever seen."
>>
>>22191384
everything is fine, they destroyed the video evidence right before hand
>>
>>22191384

Explain it's okay. Except for Sean's pelvis. And the fact that you really need him for the next mission.
>>
>Actually explain it's okay

She seems to miss the implication that it's consenual (sean certainly didn't struggle against her).... and there was the whole makeout session before hand.
>>
>>22191384
>Actually explain it's okay. Mio needs this. Sean needs this, that prick.
>>
>>22191384

>>Actually explain it's okay
>>
>>22191391
It works if you're just reading, but if you start posting it means a choice.

>>22191384
Well it's no worse than anything Minna did to us. Or to Cupcake. Explain it in those terms, with graphic detail and evidence! By which I mean your penis
>>
>>22191384

[X] Actually explain it's okay.

Mio needs to blow off some steam...
>>
>>22191384
>Actually explain it's okay
He'll be fiiiiine.
>>
>>22191417

FOR YOU.
>>
>>22191436
>there was the whole makeout session before hand.
Actually, we didn't mention that. Maybe if we did, and framed everything in that context, it'll make Minna feel better about this.
>>
>>22191364
Eh, the last episode of Girls in Pants are For comes out in a couple days, need to kill time until then, THEN I will be out.
>>
>>22191384
>Actually explain it's okay

The comfort option just reeks of sleazy. And we're many things, a jerk, an asshole, a moron, a drunk, but we are not sleazy.
>>
>>22191384
>Actually explain it's okay

"Minna, they're currently having the most wild consensual sex that the world has ever seen. Before she said that Sean declared his love for her and they shoved their tongues down each other's throats. If we interrupt them we'll have two crazed swordsmen after us, let them be happy together, they deserve it."
>>
>>22191384
>Actually explain it's okay
"Technically the term 'until' would imply her to stop as soon as the consensual basis is withdrawn. And in either case the bragging rights attached justify just about any test of endurance. In fact, the worse he looks afterwards, the higher the yiel- No! No beating, please! That's assault!"
>>
>Actually explain it's okay.
>>
File: 1356314273252.gif-(83 KB, 274x279, 100 sanics.gif)
83 KB
"Minna!" you cry as she drags you out from under the cart. "IT WAS CONSENSUAL!"

"I'm sure it WAS," Minna wails, flumphing to the floorboards besides you, sitting cross-legged indian style. Elbows on her legs, she cradles her poor aching head in her hands. "But Mio is...."

"Abso-fucking-lutely insane?" you supply.

"Enthusiastic," Minna says a bit testily, defending her friend. "If two men shove a girl into a streetcar and you see it, what would you do?"

"Whip out my pistol and tell them to leggo!" you reply immediately.

Minna nods. "And you see a guy being pinned down by a *Witch,* what's the first thing you think?"

You rub your jacket pocket nervously, where the Rape Whistle still resides, ready, waiting, useless.

"Um."
>>
>>22191594
( ◕‿‿◕)
>>
File: 1356314352124.jpg-(76 KB, 1140x1071, 1336780560276.jpg)
76 KB
>>22191594
NOTHING!!!
>>
>>22191594
"'Fuck me, not again, who is it this time'?"
>>
>>22191594
nothing?
>>
>>22191594
>Take my gaze off the mirror?
>>
>>22191594
If he objected, he'd have struggled and I'd have stepped in. I know him, he wouldn't take that laying down, he's too goddamn Irish for that.
>>
>>22191594

Lucky son of a bitch.
>>
>>22191629
THIS
THIS
GO WITH THIS
>>
>>22191594
"Either 'that lucky sonofabitch' or 'idiot, his fault for getting caught'?"
>>
>>22191629
AW JEAH
>>
>>22191629

DO IT

AHAHAHA
>>
>>22191629
Deme, pay fucking attention to this. I'm voting for it.
>>
>>22191594
What other people said, and maybe ask her what she thinks Mio would do in this situation.

"She's not a wild animal, Minna. Well, she's Japanese, but you know what I mean. Is she really the type who's take advantage of a serviceman and leave it at that?"
>>
>>22191641
It really is astonishing how she is concerned about others when she is all too ready to do the fucking same thing.
>>
>>22191629

thisssss
>>
>>22191683
That is how all humans are. "Do as I say, not as I do."
>>
>>22191683
Yeah, Young is just as myopic. I fully expect them to someday start accusing each other of sneaking into the other's bed before they realize they've been married for seven years.
>>
>>22191751
>seven years
HA! He'll be in the White House by the time they realize that.
>>
>>22191751
those poor cops....
>>
>>22191770
"Mister President, there's been a situation with one of our U-2 spyplanes..."

"...are you talking to the chair?"
>>
>>22191770
Can't be President without being 45.
>>
>>22191770
I'd pay money to see a story with a presidential candidate that acts like Young.
>>
>>22191783
35
>>
>>22191594
Ah rape whistle, our old friend.
>>
>>22191751
Hm... Their future...
At some point he will positively remark she would keep the house in Teutonic Order.
>>
>>22191794
Anon is absolutely correct and I have forgotten my middle school civics classes.
>>
>>22191831

DISHONORABURR
>>
File: 1356315497362.jpg-(38 KB, 290x269, angry hitler.jpg)
38 KB
>>22191831
off with his head!
>>
>>22191629
I'll fifth this
>>
File: 1356315534943.jpg-(450 KB, 865x1200, 1355044001507.jpg)
450 KB
Still rubbing the useless whistle, you narrow your eyes at Minna. "I'd wonder why somebody mounted a mirror on the ceiling of your room, that's what."

Minna's usual composure slips as a blush appears from her collar and climbs swiftly for her hairline. "Uhm. Uh."

You cross your arms defensively. "ANYWAYS. I think Sean will be fine."

Minna glowers at you. "Being courted by a woman that waves a sword is 'fine?'"

"Minna, I saw them having an actual swordfight the other night. Sean was having a goddamn ball."

Minna blinks.

"And just before Mio jumped him, Sean kissed her... then he took away her Nambu, literally crushed it into a ball with his bare hands, and vowed vengeance upon all who would so poorly-equip his beloved Witch."

Minna's mouth drops open.

"I think he'll be fine."

"... oh," Minna says, her trepidation and stress flowing away, her body visibly relaxing as she leans her back against the base of a briefing-room desk. "Oh. Thank god." She giggles a little, hiding her mouth with her hand reflexively. "I've been so worried for Mio; I didn't think she'd find a man who could meet her... uh, standards."

"Don't relax yet, sweetheart," you rumble. "After all, you did rape ME."

All conversation and merrymaking within thirty feet of you come to a screeching halt.

>nah just kidding
>PLUNGE FORWARD
>>
File: 1356315627669.png-(402 KB, 480x560, 1343004128617.png)
402 KB
>>22191874
Never retreat! NEVER SURRENDER!
>>
>>22191874
>>nah just kidding
"Not that I'm complaining"
>>
>>22191874
"Rape? I meant 'Grape'! She threw bunches of grapes at me in a food fight. Ha ha ha ha! Ha."
>>
>>22191874
>nah just kidding

THE LINE
>>
>>22191874

[ ] Nah just kidding
>>
>>22191874
>tact? what is this tact you speak of?
>PLUNGE FORWARD
>IN ALL HONESTLY, IT WASN'T THAT BAD
>BUT MY BACK STILL HURTS A LITTLE
>>
>>22191874
>nah just kidding
>>
>>22191874

>>nah just kidding
>>
>>22191874
>>nah just kidding
ehheehehehe-hehe
>>
>>22191874
>nah just kidding

"Naw, just fucking with all of you people. Seriously, one person says rape and you all flip out. Our fucking was consensual, and hot."
>>
File: 1356315788215.png-(23 KB, 200x200, 1349248962914.png)
23 KB
>>22191874

>nah just kidding
>>
>>22191874
>>nah just kidding

These people are clearly eavesdropping on us. TURN THE MUSIC LOUDER.
>>
>>22191874
>nah just kidding
"Ah, you shoulda seen the look on your faces!"
>>
>>22191938
Oh my. I'm not sure how this will turn out.

LET'S DO IT.
>>
>>22191874
>that pic
Unrelated, but nice choice of weapon, Madoka.
>>
>>22191874

[X] Nah just kidding

I think Minna's embarrassed enough as is.
>>
>>22191874
>nah just kidding
HAH
YOU'RE ALL JEALOUS
ALL OF YOU
>>
>>22191938
I can go with this.
>>
>>22191874

PLUNGE FORWARD FOR AMERICA AND HOT WITCHES!
>>
>>22191938
Aww yeah.
>>
>>22191938
This is the right choice, ya'll know it, Planefag knows it.
>>
File: 1356316043812.jpg-(36 KB, 252x388, i dont do cocaine man.jpg)
36 KB
[X] Nah just kidding

FAHNY JOKE
>>
>>22191904
This.
>>
File: 1356316119998.jpg-(41 KB, 640x480, Hogans Heroes - 1x28.avi_(...).jpg)
41 KB
Jolly joke. Jolly joke.
>>
>>22191938

AHAHAHA.
>>
[x] Threesome with Chuck and Shirley
>>
Cowards!

FORWARD, TO VICTORY!
>>
>>22192079
With Young in the middle?
>>
File: 1356316304547.jpg-(467 KB, 592x900, 04d457e145ceff19dc4e47139(...).jpg)
467 KB
You let the horrible silence crystallize in the air for a moment.

"Nah, just kidding."

Like the Red Sea rushing over Pharoh's army the merrymaking continues anew, a banjo striking up a duel with the harmonica player in one corner. The double-doors are swinging to-and-fro now as more and more people filter into the party. Word is spreading fast, it would seem.

"That was MEAN," Minna snaps at you.

"Yeah, and trying to move me to the engineers dorms and trying to have me thrown out of the unit and-"

"That was- that was situational!" Minna protests, blushing even harder.

"-and generally being a bitch to me and trying to shoot me down when we first landed-"

"-you know damn well we were shooting at the-"

"Well!" you say, turning your head to one side. "It hurt my feelings anyways!"

Minna scowls at you. "What's with the flooziness, all of a sudden?"

"Well if we MEN are just viewed as MEAT by you Witches, we may as well play the part~" you say airly, eliciting a tired sigh from Minna. She scooches over the floor to sit with you, back against the heavily-laden boozecart.

"You're silly," she says, resting her head against your shoulder. You stick your hand in the air, palm open, and presently a lukewarm beer is deposited in it.

Life is good.

>So who comes in and fucks it up?
>>
>>22192124
No one

Let's have some progress for once.
>>
>>22192124

Rommel. We need Rommel.
>>
>>22192124
Our parents
>>
>>22192124
Our own mind. The party is missing...something.
>>
>>22192124
Rommel and the SAS goons, once mroe fighting with meat
>>
File: 1356316429008.jpg-(48 KB, 596x843, up to no good.jpg)
48 KB
>>22192124
Who do you think?
>>
>>22192124
Tesla.

Time for SCIENCE and SHARKPLANES!
>>
>>22192124
Robo Hitler? a tesla would be fine too
>>
>>22192124
Wilma Bishop, looking for sweaterpuppies.
>>
>>22192145

Oh shit.

Time to Meet The Parents
>>
File: 1356316448611.jpg-(789 KB, 3000x2000, FOOLISH PILOT - Leigh-Mal(...).jpg)
789 KB
>>22192124
>So who comes in and fucks it up?
I want to say, Tesla, but no. You know the kind of asshole that would just love to break up a fun party like this?

Mallory.
>>
>>22192142
Rommel needs help making up with patton
>>
>>22191874
and I just poured a glass of sparkling wine, this is the best night ever.
>>
>>22192145
This.
>>
>>22192124
MEEYAFOOGEE and the Spaghetti Goblin.
>>
File: 1356316544581.jpg-(75 KB, 482x307, 1354661158175.jpg)
75 KB
>>22192153

Are... are you asking for what I think you're asking for?
>>
File: 1356316546590.jpg-(602 KB, 2516x2000, Dave Stirling Rolls a 1 o(...).jpg)
602 KB
>>22192124
Rommel calling us to battle the Stirling menace and to return his lighter! Na fuck that, our parents like >>22192145 said.
>>
>>22192124

Dr. Suess being chased by our sister with gasoline in hand and a box of matches.

Rommel engages in yet another Cold Cut Duel with Paton.

Tesla discovers booze actually does provide a perfect coolant for the nose mounted radar in our Widow.
>>
>>22192124
Nobody. But, if someone *has* to, let it be Rommel.
>>
>>22192142
ROMMEL! YES.
>>
>>22192192

/not sure if want.jpg
>>
>>22192192
I have a bad feeling about this
>>
Im going to have to say Sparkles and our Libido.
>>
>>22192145
I like this. They could spice up the party and then we have to explain why we're cuddling with a witch.
>>
>>22192192
Yes planefag Master Kurosawa, he is.
>>
>>22192192
Get me those cupcakes, and make it snappy.
>>
>>22192145

THIS. Time for Minna to meet the parental units.
>>
>>22192192
We've got everything else. Booze, food, dancing, music.

We NEED something...sweet. Something chilled and sweet. This party needs ice cream.
>>
>>22192124
>lukewarm beer
>>
File: 1356316712483.gif-(1021 KB, 300x318, Nope Martian.gif)
1021 KB
>>22192192
No, I don't think he is thinking what you are thinking.
>>
>>22192247
The Brits will love it.
>>
>>22192124

MACARTHUR. NO, IT'S THAT BARKEEP FROM THREAD 5 WHOM WE FORGOT. HE'S HERE. GIVING US LUKEWARM BEERS.
>>
File: 1356316807576.jpg-(53 KB, 500x341, soon honey bear.jpg)
53 KB
>>22192242
>>
>>22192124
MEET THE PARENTS! WITH UNCLE ROMMEL TOO!
>>
>>22192192
I have no idea what is going on in this quest... But yes, whatever terrible thing you are thinking has my support.
>>
File: 1356316847196.jpg-(19 KB, 400x290, hitler_1567.jpg)
19 KB
>>22192272
THAT BASTARD!
>>
>>22192145

Give me parents or give me death
>>
File: 1356316888585.jpg-(90 KB, 672x502, 1343771949509.jpg)
90 KB
>>22192124

Nobody.
>>
>>22192272
whats lukewarm?
>>
>>22192272
Wait. OH GOD, HOW THE FUCK IS HE HERE?
>>
File: 1356316918993.jpg-(77 KB, 453x435, 1355269559155.jpg)
77 KB
Give me five minutes, I have to go sing "happy birthday" to my mother for some fucking reason god DAMN I'm busy why can't people leave me alone witch trolling stories are serious buisness goddamit
>>
>>22192316
TELL YOUR MOTHER 4CHAN SAYS HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOO.

I WANT TO KNOW HER REACTION.
>>
>>22192316
Oh, in that case, take your time.
>>
File: 1356317004519.jpg-(65 KB, 709x596, birthday raisa.jpg)
65 KB
>>22192316
what a shame
>>
File: 1356317097541.png-(9 KB, 480x320, pic_goodidea.png)
9 KB
>>22192337
>>
>>22192316

4CHAN LOVES YOUR MOM

(Even with the best intentions, it still manages to come out wrong)
>>
>>22192305
Halfway between JESUS FUCK THAT'S COLD and OH GOD MY FLESH IS MELTING.
>>22192316
What kind of cake is it?
>>
>>22192369

IN BED
>>
>>22192371
so just warm, why need the fucking "luke"
>>
>>22192371

cheesecake.

hrm.
>>
>>22192305
I'm sure you remember Luke. Lukewarm is the temperature he most prefers.

Therefore, we hate it on principle.


SONUVABITCH IT'S LUKE.
>>
>>22192402
Troubling.
>>
>>22191770
>Get elected 7 years after war
>Roughtly the time of JFK's election
>Young handles Cuban Missile Crisis
>Young kills his own would be assassin
>Young gets America to space
Fund it.
>>
>>22192316
Haha you have familial obligations that necessitate you spend time with your parents!

...God I miss my family.
>>
>>22192423
yes...
>>
File: 1356317372147.png-(251 KB, 699x610, terribleshop.png)
251 KB
>>22192124
Obvious really.

Also, this is the best christmas present ever and I hope you drown in witch figurines.
>>
>>22192423
>Young gets America to space
He gets us to the fucking moon in a modified Widow.
>>
>>22192402
Have some music. www.terriblefate.com
>>
>>22192423
i am trashed as fuck, this is awesome
merry christmas
>>
>>22192316
Be good to your mother you son of a bitch
>>
>>22192498
>mother
>son of a bitch
I see what you did there.

Not cool, bro, it's her birthday.
>>
>>22192124
Cupcake.

Who else?
>>
>>22192498

Ur a faget
>>
File: 1356317816635.jpg-(229 KB, 608x880, 181b28ab7de7410132795412d(...).jpg)
229 KB
In your scarce time at Castle Barin, you've learned at least one thing: whenever things are going great, some jackass comes crashing in to ruin everything. Which is precisely why you prefer to be the one crashing as often as possible, because if you're not, you're the one getting ruined.

You scan the room warily, but no imminent threats appear. The double-doors open again, and you see Paddy come limping in, leaning with exaggerated exhaustion against a very flustered Heidi, her eyes darting around like a frantic hamster. Shortly afterwards, you see Ian slip through. Perrine slips in the door behind him, takes one good, sweeping look at the raucous, drunken party and blanches. She spins on her heel in a smart about face, squares her shoulders, and picks up her foot to begin a crisp march in the opposite direction -

- and her foot just hovers in midair, unable to reach the ground, as Ian catches her by the collar. Her sensible shoe flails in midair, seeking earth, as Ian resolutely drags her in, wrapping his arm around her shoulders, and pulls her into the room, her face flustered and red.

"Poor bastard," you say with feeling. "Wonder what his mother's reaction will be when she finds him arm-in-arm with a French woman."

Minna giggles. "Is that why you're so adverse to a little affection? You can't stand the idea of being the mockee, instead of the mock-er?"

You shrug. "Sure helps."

Minna looks up at you, and a wicked grin crosses her features. "Too bad those days are over."

And then she takes you down.
>>
>>22192569
TO UNCLE TOUCHY'S NAKED PUZZLE BASEMENT
>>
>>22192569

SCREAM FOR ROMMEL TO SAVE US. MAYBE UNCLE ROMMEL WILL COME IN WITH HIS GERMAN TANKERS AS CAVALRY.
>>
>>22192587
YOU WON'T WEAR A SHIRT AND YOU'LL CRY
>>
File: 1356317950871.png-(21 KB, 494x400, Wizarddon'tgotta'plainshit.png)
21 KB
>>22192569
...I have a feeling that is not in a sexual way.
>>
>>22192569
REMEMBER THE BASICS OF CQC!
>>
File: 1356318020506.jpg-(9 KB, 200x200, 1331690358745.jpg)
9 KB
>>22192446
>witch figurines

PLEASE DON'T TALK ABOUT THOSE RIGHT NOW

talking distracts me from writing story posts and that is very important right now
>>
File: 1356318059626.jpg-(78 KB, 194x491, Hanna_rudel.jpg)
78 KB
>>22192595
What if she has ground attack support? Rudel will surely take out German armor like Russian armor. Its the same to her!
>>
>>22192628
I think our best CQC is screaming and flailing even when we're not drunk.
>>
>>22192639

Then we call in Paddy Mayne. Paddy will save us.
>>
>>22192663
He's A) injured, B) occuplied with Heidi.
>>
File: 1356318251618.png-(29 KB, 700x700, more broccolis.png)
29 KB
>>22192631
Do you want a Marseille next? Or a Minna?
>>
File: 1356318291553.jpg-(67 KB, 500x562, feedmemore.jpg)
67 KB
>>22192679
>>
>>22192675

He's bro-tier. We're in trouble, Paddy will rally to the defense of a bro. Or else the Stand Against the Chibitanks will have been worthless!
>>
File: 1356318308713.png-(18 KB, 379x214, okwiththis.png)
18 KB
>>22192569

I am okay with this.
>>
>>22192569
EVERYBODY'S GETTING LAID
>>
>>22192719
THATS HOW IT ENDS FOLKS! That and President for Life.
>>
>>22192738

"Announcing President for Life of the United States of America..... PRESIDENT YOUNG!"
>>
File: 1356318591446.jpg-(67 KB, 680x449, planefag recieves a gift.jpg)
67 KB
>>22192631
Just you wait until Easter.
>>
>>22192773
With any luck he'll be getting my beer to soften the blow.
>>
>>22192751
Technically there is no limits to the Presidency yet.
>>
>>22192631
I have a feeling you received the Lewd Sanya one somehow.
>>
>>22192797
And here in the thread people were telling me that Sanya wasn't for lewds. Thank you internet for proving them wrong!
>>
>>22192751

You mean HEAD OF THE SECRET SERVICE FOR LIFE MC YOUNG
>>
>>22192819
Disregard what he says, he talks out of his ass
>>
>>22192823

The head of the Secret Service is the Secretary of the Treasury. EXPLAIN YOURSELF.
>>
File: 1356318919780.jpg-(255 KB, 782x1002, take your pants off right now.jpg)
255 KB
>>22192819
sanyan isn't for lewds
>>
File: 1356318931345.jpg-(214 KB, 948x700, 6e81440891c4c62008ee87a06(...).jpg)
214 KB
Minna knocks you to the floor, wrapping her arms around you as her lips find yours. She kisses you passionately, murmuring soft happy sounds into your mouth as she snuggles close to you. You reciprocate, the cat-calls and cheers of fast-drinking partygoers in your ears as you hug Minna close, happy to let someone else lead, just this once. You catch a glimpse of Zuuchini in the rafters, giving you a dark scowl. She waves her butt at you and smacks it with a hand, the meaning clear - kiss it. It's the last thing you see before your eyes drift shut, and you float in the endless bliss of Minna's company.

After an eternity of joy, your lips part, and you both gasp for air. You open your eyes, and stare deep into Minna's lovely gaze.

"I..." Minna says. "I need to tell you something."

Your eyes widen with horror, and your whole body goes rigid.

"Don't do that, men *always* do that when you say it first," Minna chides you. "We've been through so much together, so fast. I know we literally just met each other, and I know this is a bad time, but..." she frowns at you as you move your lips soundlessly. "Okay. Okay. You want to say something?"

You nod frantically, and she smiles. "That's so you. Okay... you say it first."

"General Hap Motherfucking Arnold is standing directly over us," you say.
>>
>>22192823
That's Ian.
>>
File: 1356318971306.jpg-(Spoiler Image, 2.31 MB, 2448x3264)
Spoiler Image, 2.31 MB
>>22192631
How about hug pillows?
>>
>>22192875
..... well so much for progress.
>>
>>22192819
She isn't, but there is a figma of her that sorta is.

That was the one that the IRC guys with cash were going to send Planefag for his birthday, but they settled on the cheaper Mio one.
>>
>>22192875
MC has a weird safeword.
>>
File: 1356319053087.png-(33 KB, 170x190, 1355785773865.png)
33 KB
>>22192783

I'm so glad you reminded me of that. I'm drinking some right now to ease the pain in the toes I smashed when I tripped getting something out of the closet.

>>22192773
Which just happened to be the Sakamoto figurine AND THAT FUCKING LEWD PILLOWCASE which prompted my mother's guests - friends going way back to college - to laugh uproariously as I oozed away to my room again.

THANKS GUYS
>>
>>22192875
lay there at attention
>>
>>22192875
>General Hap Motherfucking Arnold
I don't think he'd interrupt us if we didn't bring attention to it.
>>
>>22192893
>my dead eyes

thanks so much
>>
>>22192875
and what makes you think we give a fuck? minna has our attention now
>>
File: 1356319123058.jpg-(140 KB, 800x908, 1339636899346.jpg)
140 KB
>>22192875
Looks like the party is over.

Or just getting started.
>>
>>22192925
This. Courtesy must be observed.
>>
>>22192918

.....


AHAHAHAHAHA

Faggot
>>
>>22192875
Oh, planefag.
>>
>>22192918
You poor unfortunate bastard.

Maybe I can just drive you the entire shipment instead of mailing a couple six packs.
>>
File: 1356319215561.jpg-(198 KB, 1052x1487, 2667a2fbab049f875bc614521(...).jpg)
198 KB
>>22192918
Why was it your closet, buddy? Shouldn't it be on your pillow where it belongs?
>>
>>22192933
>Why did I ever let Panzer figure out my address...?
>>
>>22192918
Poor bastard, I feel sympathy.
>>
I'm amazed he even resumed with such massive dicks for fans.

>>22192980
Same here
>>
>>22192933
I suggested pistol grips but noooooooo
>>
>>22192918
Should I call off the strippergram then?
>>
File: 1356319320694.png-(22 KB, 417x500, 1300335591300.png)
22 KB
>>22192918
It's done out of love.
>>
>>22192918

And what explanation did you give to them?

ahahahaha
>>
>>22193025
NO EXPLANATIONS

ONLY SPAGHETTI
>>
>>22192893

>that neckbear

>>22192918

Don't worry, all of us will be bros5ever.
>>
>>22192918
*points and laughs*

Right, that's the reason I don't miss my family!

But seriously what were you doing opening that crap where people could see you?!
>>
File: 1356319443961.png-(75 KB, 500x500, e1e74d1965a9df573fcc8b5fb(...).png)
75 KB
>>22192925

Minna blinks.

"You pick really strange safewords," she says, looking confused.

"NO HE'S leh - lit- eh - eeeeh..." your voice trails off as General Arnold's glare ignites the air between you. Still lying flat on your back, with a half-dressed woman atop you, you stiffen your entire body to Attention and snap an excellent salute. "SIR!"

Arnold glares even more intensely. He leans over, hands on his knees. You notice he's got a battered old hat on, brim tilted so low that only you, with your unique vantage point, can actually see his face.

"Keep it down, you blithering moron! I'd like to enjoy a real party for a goddamn change."

>my god I'm saved
>my luck on the ground is NEVER that good. where's the other shoe? WHERE?
>>
File: 1356319492010.jpg-(50 KB, 596x701, lucchini ponders the myst(...).jpg)
50 KB
>>22192875
oh boy
>>
File: 1356319514693.jpg-(96 KB, 360x351, deal with it swan.jpg)
96 KB
>>22193044

No, you don't understand. My mother nagged me to bring it out and play show-and-tell.

They stopped laughing when I told them how much the figma was worth, though.

>THANK YOU, GUYS. SERIOUSLY THIS TIME.
>>
>>22193048

"I'm SAVED! FUCK"
>>
>>22193048
>My god I'm saved

For about five seconds before Tesla crashes this place or something.
>>
>>22193048
>>my luck on the ground is NEVER that good. where's the other shoe? WHERE?

OH GOD MARTIAN MIND GAMES
>>
>attempt to take Minna somewhere so you can salvage the moment.

Yes I'm aware of how futile this is as it seems PF's gone into hijinks again.
>>
>>22193048
>my luck on the ground is NEVER that good. where's the other shoe? WHERE?
IT NEVER ENDS.
>>
>>22193044
They somehow cajoled him into an unboxing in front of his deep south relatives, I think?
>>
>>22193048
>my luck on the ground is NEVER that good. where's the other shoe? WHERE?
>>
>>22193048
[X]my luck on the ground is NEVER that good. where's the other shoe? WHERE?
>>
>>22193048
>>my luck on the ground is NEVER that good. where's the other shoe? WHERE?

>theyexpect sersmi
apparently sersmi is coming
>>
>>22193048
>my god I'm saved
"Sir yes sir!"
>>
>>22193048

My god we're saved.
>>
>>22193048
>my god I'm saved
>>
>>22193048
>Mack on the kraut.
>When the first shoe actually drops Young will spend his time waiting for the second, so he'll be mad he didn't when he had the chance.
>>
>>22193073

Your mom is an awesome mom.
>>
>>22193073
>figma

THAT WASN'T A FIGMA GOD DAMMIT. A FIGMA IS A SPECIFIC LINE OF ACTION FIGURES. WHAT YOU RECEIVED WAS A FIGURINE/STATUE, MUCH LARGER AND HIGHER QUALITY THAN A FIGMA BUT WITH NO POSEABLE JOINTS.
>>
File: 1356319646728.gif-(954 KB, 400x300, Hank of Evil.gif)
954 KB
>>22193073
Eheheheheheheh
Don't worry... we're not done yet.
>>
>>22193048

[X] my god I'm saved
>>
File: 1356319664705.jpg-(129 KB, 500x630, Ice_Giants.jpg)
129 KB
>>22193048
>my god I'm saved
HAHAHHAH!!!! Praise Odin!
>>
>>22193081
I am now picturing Castle Barin flying through the air on electro-rockets.
>>
>>22193073
Wait, how much was it worth?
>>
>>22193048
>my god I'm saved
>>
File: 1356319730084.png-(47 KB, 297x412, asscastle_page9.png)
47 KB
>>
File: 1356319730212.png-(657 KB, 797x598, NEEEERD.png)
657 KB
>>22193123

NEEEEEEEEERD

>image macro saved off /jp/
>>
>>22192933
I already know where the hell you live Planefag, its no big deal, fuck my goal is to find where every SWQ quest creator lives, and on my 30 days of transfer leave, travel to their houses and hug them. is this bad?
>>
>>22193141
$200 or so IIRC
>>22193140
I was picturing him flying in on a Hoverboard wearing a tinfoil hat and laughing manically.
>>
>>22193165
>travel to their houses and hug them

Surprisingly tame for a Navy guy.
>>
>SWQ resumes
>Thread starts out promising
>Devolves into hijinks anyways

I'm not sure if not being surprised by this is normal or not.
>>
>>22193048
Right then, back to making out.
>>
File: 1356319855531.png-(242 KB, 502x623, Navy_Blow_Jobs.png)
242 KB
>>22193181
"Hugs"
>>
File: 1356320020799.jpg-(199 KB, 700x569, nyahaha.jpg)
199 KB
>>22193141
about 80bux

>>22193176
arch magos go back to never posting thanks!
>>
>>22193197
I can't stop laughing. I'm not sure if this is 100% genuine or not though.
>>
>>22193197
PFfahahahaaha. That's so fucking precious.
>>
>>22193197
>and I'm sure you do the best blow jobs
ahahaha
>>
>>22193243
I love you too you lolicon motherfucker.

Oh, right, Lewd Sanya was $200.
Back to anon.
>>
File: 1356320115679.png-(476 KB, 640x1002, DOWANT.png)
476 KB
You'd think this would be a thing, but... Sadly no catgirls yet. DAMN YOU SCIENCE.
>>
>>22193176
You're not getting it.

He CRASHES the CASTLE.

Does the military have regs on flying architecture while intoxicated?
>>
>>22193294
Hell if I know.

Probably. I guess.
>>
File: 1356320322216.jpg-(248 KB, 948x700, c46a166d6ae5982a2c95cc752(...).jpg)
248 KB
Minna slumps in your arms, resting her head on your shoulder, but you remain tense, your eyes darting back and forth. "And, uh, are you enjoying it?"

"Immensely," Arnold mutters, plucking a beer from atop the party cart and cracking it open. "I was a pilot once too, you know. I might be old, but I'm not DEAD."

"Ah," you say. "Reliving the old times?"

"Literally," Arnold says. "I was just swapping old stories with another guy who flew Air Mail back in the day."

Ice floods your veins. The throbbing cacophony of babbling partiers and dueling musicians fades to a dull, distant hum at the edges of your senses as adrenaline floods through your system. "Lindbergh, right?"

"Lindy? I didn't even know he was here," Arnold says casually, raising the beer to his lips.

Oh.

Arnold smiles.

Oh god.

Arnold smiles even wider.

Oh god oh shit oh doom on you he means-

"I was talking to your father, actually. Oh, there he is now!"

Arnold takes a long, needlessly loud sip from his beer.
>>
>>22193197
My only question is if she knows the Marines are also part of the Navy. If so, the letter becomes about 20 times as hilarious.
>>
>>22193347
FUCKDAMN SHITCUNTS
>>
>>22193347
Fuckin' A.

I love you.
>>
>>22193347
PANIC!
>>
>>22193347
Oh shit, son. Evasive maneuvers. We need to get out of here, and preferably with Minna in tow.
>>
>>22193347
engage give no fucks mode, get back to suffocating Minna with our mouth
>>
File: 1356320416391.png-(72 KB, 698x658, 1298189686345.png)
72 KB
>>22193347
"Hey, Dad! You already meet the misses, meet the mistress!"
>>
File: 1356320423423.jpg-(23 KB, 340x424, 1353881087378.jpg)
23 KB
>>22193182

The night is young.
>>
>>22193347
FUCK
>>
>>22193347
Oh. OH SHIT.
>>
>>22193347
DUNDUNDUNDUN!!!
>>
>>22193384
Not bad. Go for it.
>>
>>22193347
>attempt to hide entire body mass under minna
>>
>>22193347
Oh fuck.
>>22193387
You funny guy planefag.
>>
>>22193347
Remain calm and introduce dad to real girlfriend
>>
>>22193387
.... this is gonna be good.
>>
>>22193387
>the night is young
>the night is Young

We Batman now.
>>
File: 1356320512424.jpg-(609 KB, 1680x1313, 1337737415803.jpg)
609 KB
>>22193384
This might backfire horribly.


Lets do it.
>>
>>22193347
SO. IT HAS COME TO THIS.

But seriously, dad should be understanding of the ridiculous shenanigans pilots get up to. More than mom, at least.
>>
>>22193347

Time to suggest to Minna a tactical retreat to somewhere more private?
>>
File: 1356320526573.jpg-(217 KB, 400x400, 1353273871368.jpg)
217 KB
>>22193384

oh shit they haven't explained that yet have they
>>
>>22193384

Wait, its been a while. When did we intro dad to upcakeski?
>>
>>22193387
I told you, Deme. I told you about shenanigans.
>>
>>22193384
YES.
>>
>>22193407
Pray for some sort of intervention to clear things up or at least take the attention off of you. Like Sanya.

>>22193432
No more like Elia tricking our parents into thinking she was the girlfriend.
>>
File: 1356320609880.gif-(1.01 MB, 172x162, Colbert laugh.gif)
1.01 MB
>>22193430
OH THIS IS GONNA BE REALLY GOOD
>>
>>22193430
YOU ACTUALLY FORGOT!?!
>>
File: 1356320623206.gif-(303 KB, 350x396, 1312233583060.gif)
303 KB
>>22193432
No, he is referring to Eila dipshit.
>>
>>22193384
"You've meet the misses, now meet the hit."
>>
>>22193430

MISUNDERSTANDINGS AND FORCED DRAMA AHOY
>>
File: 1356320684167.jpg-(24 KB, 400x315, wedding-day-rings-gold-we(...).jpg)
24 KB
>>22193449
You mean fiancee.
>>
File: 1356320684650.jpg-(25 KB, 500x347, 1331437880542.jpg)
25 KB
>>22193347

Number of fucks given: zero.

"So Minna, what were you going to say?"
>>
>>22193459
Wouldn't surprise me just as I hope he didn't forget about something else.

>>22193482
Naturally.
>>
>>22193430
Then can we explain it now, before it gets any worse?
>>
>>22193485
This, no fucks.
>>
File: 1356320745863.gif-(1.12 MB, 330x248, colberteatingpopcorn.gif)
1.12 MB
>>22193430
Apocalyptic fireworks in three... two...
>>
>>22193347
Dad seems cool, can we just explain?
Please?
>>
>>22193506
Fuck me I was just about to post that EXACT image.
>>
File: 1356320820407.jpg-(54 KB, 378x300, bertie_wooster.jpg)
54 KB
>>22193482
>>22193484
>>22193488

>mfw we're Bertie Wooster
>>
>Dad asks us what the hell is going on
>"Pilot."
>Dad nods in understanding
>>
File: 1356320827659.png-(14 KB, 869x272, We are not very clever men.png)
14 KB
>>22193516
You obviously haven't been in an SWQ thread before.
>>
>>22193430

Gentlemen, there is only one option.


DRAW PISTOL AND SHOOT INTO CEILING
>>
File: 1356320873592.jpg-(2 KB, 89x126, happytechpriest.jpg)
2 KB
>>22193527
Sorry mate. Beat ya too the punch
>>
>>22193537
>>22193550
aaaaaaaa
>>
>>22193537
I have....

I just have this disease that makes me keep hoping that damn character development will stick....
>>
>>22193537
Hey someone screencapped that? I feel special!
>>
>>22193560
So do I, but between PF and anon inflicted with the stupids.... I have serious doubts
>>
>>22193560
you should see a doctor about that
>>
>>22193560

Well he still doesn't do well under stress.
>>
>>22193550
It's so obvious!
>>
File: 1356321245169.png-(626 KB, 1600x1200, 1332215387035.png)
626 KB
>>22193586
Well I'm glad somebody else agrees.

>>22193603
But I like having an unending sense of optimism!

>>22193634
True

Pic related to first...
>>
File: 1356321253966.gif-(11 KB, 134x150, 1197418061467.gif)
11 KB
>>22193550

YOU HAVE FUCKED UP NOW
>>
File: 1356321305689.jpg-(48 KB, 435x571, 1337295339068.jpg)
48 KB
>>22193560
>Character development ever sticking
HAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHHAHAH
AHA
HA
WELCOME TO THE MADHOUSE! ENJOY YOUR COMPLEMENTARY STRAITJACKET AND PADDED ROOM!
>>
>>22193347

NO FUCKS GIVEN
>>
Don't we have gnome magic or something? Can't we do that? I don't come to these threads very often

Lets blow out the power and start a drunken moshpit and take Minna and run like the dickens, then fuck her on the rooftops or something.
>>
>>22193560
>>22193586
>>22193634
>>22193656
Oh Come on you guys, Young has actually been acting somewhat in a mature manner today. I mean, he turn down a opportunity for a terrible, terrible, terrible joke. So I think that he is improving.
>>
File: 1356321381359.jpg-(9 KB, 201x240, 1136275347530.jpg)
9 KB
>>22193682

I WILL END YOU.
>>
>>22193704
See >>22193694 he's an anon with the stupids
>>
>>22193694
...Blowing out the lights is a BAAAAAAD idea with a lot of drunk people on edge.
>>
>>22193656

He is improving abit.

Hes not choosing the WORST options.
>>
File: 1356321553868.jpg-(39 KB, 600x390, 1295139052231.jpg)
39 KB
>>22193347

Resist urge to panic.

Continue with character development.

Ignore anon.
>>
>>22193720
...

Fair enough. But still, we've been doing okay today, so I think we can pat ourselves on the back for that.

That said; CONSTANT VIGILANCE!!!
>>
>>22193747
I will give you that, we just need to keep going so we can actually win the damn war without having a BAC of 50% or more.
>>
>>22193694

AND YOU, I WILL END YOU TOO. YOUR DEATH WILL MEASURABLY IMPROVE THE GENE POOL.
>>
File: 1356321687033.jpg-(105 KB, 400x500, 1340771697040.jpg)
105 KB
Above you, your father looms, his haggard, wise face grown dark and terrible. The beer in his hand is trembling ever so slightly as he looks down at you, sprawled upon the floor, amidst empty beer bottles, a leggy, half-dressed redhead draped over your body.

"HELLO, SON."

"... hello, dad," you manage weakly. "This is Wing Commander Minna."

Minna is sliding over you, nuzzling at your neck. "She's mY-AY-AY-" you squeal as she nips you, just hard enough to be tantalizing- "ay, uh, girlfriend."

Your father nods, his face as dark and terrifying as the advancing anvil of a thundercloud. "Does she know your FIANCEE?"

wat

wat

"Wat," you stammer.

"Oh," Minna says, working her way up your neck, nibbling and kissing. "He means Eila."

"Oh! Oh! Ah! Ahaha! Oh! Misunderstanding!" you stammer, trying to throw yourself off the floor, but Minna leans into you, pinning you down, and with alcohol in your system you don't have the co-ordination to wiggle away from her. "YOU'VE GOT IT ALL WRONG!"

"He's telling you the truth," Minna says.

Your father frowns. "So you're really dating her?"

You nod frantically.

Your father's frown deepens into graven anger. "And that lovely Finnish girl was lying to us? And you went along with it to play with us?"

You open your mouth to speak, but Minna clamps a hand over it.

"He was telling the truth."

The humidity in the room starts to rise as your father swells into a proper storm-front. "So what's the meaning of this!?"

Minna peers over her shoulder catlike at your father and wiggles her scantily-clad, amazingly-firm little rump. "Elia's the fiance... and I'm the girlfriend!"

>OH GOD WAT DO
>>
>>22193791
...Well.

Since she's playing along, we may as well have some fun with it.

We can die or feel guilty later.
>>
>>22193791
"She's evil. I'm a pilot. Nothing to see here."
>>
>>22193347

PRESS X TO REMAIN CALM.
>>
She's having her revenge on us.
>>
>>22193791

FULL SPEED AHEAD DAMN THE TORPEDOES. We need to smack her rump and agree!

God is on our side. DEUS VULT!
>>
>>22193810

QUICK TIME EVENT FAILED
>>
>>22193791
Pistol. Air.
Fire it like you just don't care.

Honestly though, CRAZY IVAN.
CRAZY
FUCKING
IVAN.
Get the hell out of there, preferably with Minna before Mom beats us halfway to death with a bottle..
>>
NO DAD NO!
>>
>>22193560
Think of this as a slapstick comedy anime. There is plenty of character development that is carried over between serious scenes, but the comedy is what the author focuses on. Strikers '89 is the much more serious "fifty years later" story.

Expect there to be a point where it becomes ALL SERIOUS ALL THE TIME.
>>
>>22193791
Goddamn, we're such a bad influence on her.

Mouth silently to her ''You bitch.''
>>
>>22193791
"Just so you know. I was going to say I love you. But now my dad is going to kill me..."
>>
>>22193791

"You're the girlfriend? Then what does that make Waltrud?"
>>
>>22193849
This
>>
>>22193791
KRUPINSKI HALP
>>
>>22193853
Ahahaha, I like this one.
>>
>>22193791

DO NOT MEDDLE IN THE AFFAIRS OF WITCHES, FOR THEY ARE SUBTLE AND QUICK TO ANGER.

tl;dr deal with it, dad.
>>
File: 1356321920986.jpg-(42 KB, 600x800, 1334293044919.jpg)
42 KB
>>22193853
We could attempt to explain things and let her watch us squirm OR WE CAN DOUBLE DOWN AND DO THIS.
>>
File: 1356321992680.gif-(568 KB, 200x136, 1322453823883.gif)
568 KB
>First time ever in these threads
>Have no idea whats going on


Try to calmly explain to him whats going on?
>>
File: 1356322006167.png-(182 KB, 480x433, 1344495626306.png)
182 KB
>>22193837

no, fuck you
>>
>>22193791
Tell him that you're much more serious with Minna.

You're only engaged to the Finn to cover for her lesbian lover.
>>
>>22193791

Calmly explain the situation.
>>
>>22193849
THHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!
>>
>>22193791
MA'AM?

ARE YOU HIGH!?
>>
>>22193825
FULL SPEED AHEAD!
"Eila happens to swing both ways so we decided on a menage a trois."
>>
>>22193853
Oh dear god no.

That is opening up a can of worms that should never ever be taken out of the box again.
>>
>>22193874

DOUBLE DOWN!

We're dead anyway, so the details doesn't matter at this point.

Or we can deflect to little sister! Yes, make some strange convenient lie that may work out for us in the end!
>>
File: 1356322080839.png-(249 KB, 521x603, d36d38ea9c82cb4b0f7d3be41(...).png)
249 KB
>>22193853
We're already in the shit. Might as well.
>>
>>22193849

This
>>
>>22193924
>>22193915
Perfect.

Perrrrrfect.
>>
>>22193791
"Snookums, would you mind not making the situation worse than it is?

I'm not involved with Elia, the deception wasn't meant to play with you but because I was doing Elia a favor and trying to solve a different clusterfuck. I'm not going out with her, Minna is my girlfriend, I don't have a mistress or a fiance."
>>
>>22193915

"You see, dad, I'm covering for Minna here because she was fraternizing with Waltrud, which was a great lay I might add. How's dear old Mom doing?"

Offer him a beer.
>>
>>22193927
lying was how he got into the mess in the first place.
>>
>>22193897

Chaos and shenanigans.

Really, you don't need to know the full story to enjoy the tomfoolery and shenanigans here.
>>
>>22193849
DO IT. FOR FLUSTERED MINNA!!!
>>
>>22193950

I vote for actaully attempting to remain calm and explaining.

Tickle her while we're at it.
>>
>>22193897
Ever heard of Strike Witches? This is a take on that where conventional pilots have a role in fighting the alien invaders. Said aliens are inspired more by "War of the Worlds" invaders than whatever the hell the Neuroi were from.

Main character is an Air Force pilot known by his surname "Young" and the battles and shenanigans he gets up to with his flight crew, the witches and other important figures of the Second World War. Occasionally genderbent.
>>
>>22193915
Oh god do this.
>>
>>22193897
Ha, while I agree with you, its not going to happen.
Fasten your restraining harness and hold on tight.
>>
>>22193791
"They know about each other... Father I have won at women and relationships."
>>
File: 1356322261222.png-(240 KB, 628x351, rapeface animegirl 2.png)
240 KB
>>22193897
You must be new here.
>>
File: 1356322265593.jpg-(161 KB, 400x423, 1309302079634.jpg)
161 KB
>>22193791

>>22193915
Yes, this.

Calmly, and with no fucks given.
>>
File: 1356322270952.png-(283 KB, 500x714, stealing hearts and clothes.png)
283 KB
and then cupcakes comes around
>>
>>22194006
Well, thats what I said.
>>
>>22193915
How about no? Let's not drag their relationship out to other people who are not a part of the squadron.
>>
>>22194019
That would require not being stupid, which seems impossible for some people when SWQ runs.
>>
>>22194019
The implication is that MINNA is the lesbian lover.
>>
>>22194030
The only way to stop stupidity is to speak up.
>>
>>22194019
We are currently drunk, lying under our Nominal commander and giving no fucks. Nobody will take us seriously
>>
>>22193791

TELL DA TROOF

It totally worked for us the last time!
>>
>>22194035
That's not what I got. And if I can't get it, then Dad is definitely not going to get it.
>>
>>22194047
I think someone will take it seriously; forced drama and punishment for being stupid.
>>
The only way to get out of this is to pretend we are way drunker than we are.
>>
>>22194047
Dad.
>>
>>22194071
>Pretend
Well, there's more beer, and we can always just start CHUGGIN.
>>
>>22194072
Dad knows how nuts we are, if we act stupid enough he'll throw his hands up an give up for a bit.
>>
>>22193849
Make it so
>>
>>22193897
No, anon. No. That is not how Pilot works.
You've got nearly a year's worth of threads to read through.
Thread 1:
http://archive.foolz.us/tg/thread/17545010/#17545010
Thread 2:
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/17563929
All subsequent threads:
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Strike%20Witches%20Quest
>>
>>22193849
This.
>>
>>22194100
Alwasy works for me IRL, and im not even a PILOT.
>>
>>22193849
Perfect.
>>
>>22194118
>not posting the archive

l2swq
http://www.mediafire.com/?nlj16ras3w6os31
>>
>>22193849
Do this if not to late.
>>
>>22194158
>the archive that contains all the spinoffs and fanart
Jeez I'm just trying to ease the guy in.
>>
>>22194203
THERE IS NO EASING!!! JUMP IN ALL THE WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>
File: 1356322945197.jpg-(144 KB, 449x363, 1297940841672.jpg)
144 KB
Your dried up little pea-brain rattles and ricochets madly around your skull as you try to find a way out of your imminent demise. "ROBIN! ASK ROBIN! IT'S A LIE, THEY'RE ALL LIES!"

"Robin said something about you schmoozing with this - this - this *harlot,*" your scandalized father hisses, "but I didn't believe her! I though it must be nasty barracks-room rumors? My son? A two-timing shithead?" Your father's fist is squeezing his bottle incredibly hard, and you know it's only a matter of seconds before he reverses his grip and plants it so far up your ass that you'll produce a low, hollow tone when you open your mouth in a stiff wind.

"He is NOT a two-timing man," Minna snaps at him, her voice carrying her full, ordinary command authority. Your father blinks, rocking back on his heels.

"He's not?"

Minna looks back at you, and a truly vile snigger escapes under her breath. "Me and Eila invited him to be our third wheel."

You open your mouth to scream, but Minna smothers it with hers. You stare up at your father as his face goes slack with pure and horrid outrage.

"You - let - your - sister - stay - in - this - den - of - INEQUITY," he snarls, raising the bottle above his head in both hands, like it's a sword, the legendary HomoBane, smiter of lesbians. "I - I - I CAN'T - YOU ARE -"

You struggle madly, but Minna puts some magic into the fight, her ears and tail popping out as she pins you to the floor, rubbing her leg between yours, against your crotch oh jesus she's a good kisser and your life is being blown to smithereens and you're being humiliated in front of your father and you really want to bang Minna like a drum right now and HELP

and help arrives.

>guess who?
>>
>>22194203
It's easier than having to go through threads that's 90%+ posts, most of which are stupid.
>>
>>22194219
Sean and Mio, a very happy Sean and Mio, arrive at the party.
>>
>>22194219
SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAN
>>
>>22194219
...God?
>>
>>22194219

CUPCAKESKI

THE RAEP TRAIN HAS NO BRAKES
>>
>>22194219
Generalfeldmarshall Erwin Rommel to the rescue!
>>
>>22194219
Arnold.
>>
>>22194219
Martian attack
>>
>>22194219
Sanya.

Let's whip out the big guns.
>>
File: 1356323098778.jpg-(191 KB, 850x1236, 1330825742486.jpg)
191 KB
>>22194234
This all the way please please.
>>
>>22194219
TEEEEEEEEEEESLAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>
>>22194219
Please be Elia... please...
>>
>>22194219
KRUPINSKI
SAVE US
>>
File: 1356323160342.jpg-(54 KB, 580x900, 1332205468632.jpg)
54 KB
>>22194219
Shirley! And Chuck!

(I just sorta miss them...)
>>
>>22194234

THIS!
>>
>>22194250
Yes, its one of those alcohol fueled visions where that one person descends to your aid with in a white robe, golden halo at their back with a look of complete peace on their face.
>>
>>22194219
Who else to save us from Dad?

Mom.
>>
>>22194290
dis gui
>>
>>22194219

UNCLE ROMMEL PLS SAVE US
>>
>>22194219

Extract the rape whistle.

Blow frantically.

HELLCOW. TO ME!
>>
>>22194266
Sanya or the Sean/Mio couple, one of the two.
>>
File: 1356323242707.jpg-(12 KB, 214x251, 1338773158980s.jpg)
12 KB
>>22194282
That was my first choice, but at the same time, having that happen would SEEERIOUSLY backfire somehow.

Which is why my choice is Hellcow.
>>
>>22194219
Shirley and Chuck. Because why not.
>>
>>22194219
SEAN
>>
>>22194303
Do you want us to die?
>>
>>22194303
...You're a smart guy.
>>
>>22194309

Dynamic entry Hellcow?
>>
>>22194309
>>22194312
Changing my vote to Hellcow.
>>
>>22194219
SEEEEAN, Mio and Rommel all walk into a bar....
>>
>>22194219
Wilma.
>>
>>22194219
Sean and Mio. They're happy, they just had a pile of sex, and they're ready to deal with this current problem and explain everything.
>>
>>22194219

Please let it be the Finnish lesbian. Oh lordy please. I want you to feed the shitstorm with even MORE gasoline, planefag.
>>
TRUDE
>>
>>22194219
^^All of the above....
>>
>>22194334
So am I. Changing vote from Rommel to Hellcow.
>>
Guys, everyone walks in. EVERYONE.
>>
Sean and Mio riding Hellcow.
>>
File: 1356323487098.jpg-(245 KB, 2835x653, thats no hug shes getting.jpg)
245 KB
It's always cupcakes
>>
>>22194219
Meeyafoogee?
>>
>>22194410
I would also like Sparkles
>>
>>22194219
>Have booze
>Actually get to go home for Christmas
>Good booze, too
>SWQ Original Flavor
This... this is a good night. Oh, uh... Gonna go with Trude.
>>
File: 1356323772915.jpg-(39 KB, 440x293, 1334711015275.jpg)
39 KB
>>22194429
>No booze at all for christmas
>Spend all money on christmas
>Have to try and fight my way through the battlefields of late night walmart for last minute christmas shopping without alcohol or any chance of it

I'M SAD
>>
>>22194465
I'd share some of my rum... but I don't want to. It's too good.
>>
>>22194483
But rum is my favorite, what kind is it?
>>
>>22194219
Sean and Mio, Hellcow, or Sanya

also
This is the best christmas present ever
>>
>>22194500
Kraken. With like, half an ice cube.
>>
>>22194219
Eila, with trude forcing her to be honest and not fuck shit up more.
>>
>>22194521
Elia making shit worse.
Threesome chicken may be best chicken.
>>
>>22194513
RELEASE THE KRAKEN!
>>
>>22194500
got some captain morgan that I bought in heathrow duty free. You've just reminded me to break it out. Fuck my half-day tomorrow, SWQ is back
>>
inb4 'NEXT TIME ON STRIKE WITCHES'
>>
>>22194555
YOU!
>>
File: 1356324254306.png-(320 KB, 700x654, 1331783527620.png)
320 KB
Pinned to the hard, cold floor, your blood pounding and your pride disintegrating, you realize you've finally been outmaneuvered. Minna has paid you back for all your harassment and antagonistic pranks and horrible humiliation, in spades, and now she's got you writhing in the deadly grips of immense, overwhelming lust, lust you cannot, MUST not indulge in - the torture your very presence has been visiting upon her for several days in a row, you realize.

All you can do now is rely on your wingmen - but they're not here. You can only lay on the floor, Minna's fingers digging into your wrists as she rises above you, subjugating you for all the world to see, a wicked, vengeful, predatory smile curling across her lips. The cacophony of the party rises to a fever pitch as people see what's going on, and cat-callers start hurling incredibly boorish suggestions, each one darkening your father's complexion until his face seems a shadowed mask of pure and utter rage, so grave that light itself refuses to reflect off it to reach your eyes.

And then - just then, as you are sinking under the horrible and final weight of Minna's conquest of your everything - comes the sound of your salvation.

A terrified hush sweeps the crowd as something slices through the air, thin and cold, severing the party's jubilant at the knees. The air temperature drops, and even the lights dim and flicker as a dread and terrible presence makes itself known in every soul...

... the hissing.

HELLCOW.
>>
File: 1356324260003.jpg-(817 KB, 1682x1021, vladimirwhattheshit.jpg)
817 KB
>>22194555
dont bring that evil on us
>>
>>22194595
>Hellcow
...I'M OKAY WITH THIS.
>>
>>22194595

YAY HELLCOW
>>
>>22194595

THE CAVALRY HAS ARRIVED! SALLY FORTH! DEUS VULT!
>>
>>22194595
I have no idea where this is going
>>
File: 1356324386297.jpg-(53 KB, 171x297, 1327042836971.jpg)
53 KB
>>22194595
HERE IT COMESSSSS
>>
>>22194595
>HELLCOW.
I have no reaction for this situation.
>>
>>22194595
it's over. All is lost
>>
>>22194630
GOD HAS NO PLACE WHERE THE HELLCOW ROAMS! FOR GOD MAY BE THE ALPHA AND OMEGA, BUT HELLCOW IS THE BOSS.
>>
>>22194650

There was God. Then there was the Holy Ghost, and then Jesus. Now... THERE IS HELLCOW.

May the Holy Quadruplet Reign Forever.
>>
File: 1356324624897.jpg-(498 KB, 1350x759, 1327034563576.jpg)
498 KB
>>22194595
Hmm....interesting development.

Also I imagine Minna's face to something like this
>>
File: 1356324755776.jpg-(29 KB, 455x427, came.jpg)
29 KB
>>22194595
This is only getting better.
>>
>>22194665
Would quadumvirate work better?
>>
>>22194595
hellcow is the greatest of bros
HELLCOW, MICROWAVE CANNON, HASHIINN
>>
>>22194595

When you are in trouble...
And your wingmen can't help you...
And your girlfriend is working against you...
When even God himself can't save you...
There is always one being who can save you.
It's name
Is
HELLCOW
>>
>>22194724
HI DAD! HI MOM! WELCOME TO THE WIERD ASS HELL I LIVE IN DAY TO DAY! THIS COW WILL BE YOUR GUIDE!
>>
File: 1356324926594.jpg-(53 KB, 677x892, 1332057648327.jpg)
53 KB
>>22194595

Into the sudden silence, clear as a bell, rings Yoshika's lovely, innocent voice:

"Hellcow! GET HER!"

Minna has about half a second to look alarmed before HellCow bounds into the room, seizes a big mouthful of Minna's uniform jacket and lifts her off you before spinning and galloping out the door, Yoshika herself riding the strange beast's back, whooping like a red injun.

"WHYYYyyyyyyyyyy~" Minna's voice fades down the hall.

There's a few seconds more of stunned silence, and then somebody in the corner starts laughing like a psycopath. You cut your eyes sideways to see Ian, doubled over one of the desks, laughing helplessly. After a second or two, Perrine joins in, and soon the entire room is swept by mirth.

You try to stagger to your feet, but Minna's aggressive ministrations have left you off-balance. Groping for the edge of the party cart, you find somebody's small, warm hand instead. You look up to find Sanya gripping your wrist with both hands. She bites her lip, sinks into a resolute expression, and leans back, throwing her weight into helping you up. You start to stagger upward, and her eyes squinch shut as she redoubles her efforts, her ears and tail deploying with a muted little *pop!* as her magic is brought to bear on the task. Barely, just barely, the little 80-pound Witch manages to get you upright, her tail bushy and ramrod-straight behind her as she puts her all into it.
>>
>>22194595
Did we all forget that Hellcow does whatever it wants and has F*ed us over before?
>>
>>22194777
you must be my good luck charm because I just beaten FTL....
>>
>>22194777

why do you do this to my heart planefag?
>>
SO GUYS
LONG STORY SHORT
3D-PRINTABLE RAPE WHISTLE
https://thepiratebay.se/torrent/7564507/Legitimate_Rape_Whistle
>>
>>22194777
>thanks for the help, Ian!

also, did Yoshika just ride to our rescue? We've taught her well
>>
>>22194796

I actually ragequit that... before I found out you can enable an option to DRAW THE MAP-LINES BETWEEN JUMP NODES. why is that not on by default god dammit.

Anyway, what ship/weapons config did you use?
>>
>>22194777
Ah, good, we can deal with the Eila dramashit now.
>>
File: 1356325122415.jpg-(232 KB, 863x752, 1346269289032.jpg)
232 KB
By the light of all our burning bridges.
>>
>>22194816
It wasn't there until a patch added it, if I recall. God, was it helpful.

Yell at me on IRC if you ever go back to it, I beat that game until the police came.
>>
>>22194816
Torus Masterrace
>>
>>22194777
Finally our "fixing" of everyone's problems has paid off!
>>
>>22194816
kestral X2 pulse lasers mk2, ion cannon, fire beam and cloak
>>
File: 1356325201903.png-(44 KB, 1600x1200, favoriteride.png)
44 KB
>>22194830
>>
>>22194816
Small bomb, Halberd Beam, Multilaser II x2 is a combo that can win 90% of the time. One or more of these can be easily substituted but this combo will shred the final boss.
>>
>>22194691
Fuck it, i'll just ask.
This pics an alteration on that Denpa anime ain't it?
>>
>>22194777
Adorable Cossack is Adorable
>>
>>22194777
uh guys. we still have a problem. pops is still standing there eyes darker than a blackhole
>>
>>22194777
Lewd Sanya time now?

No?

Okay then. Wait what does dad think about this?
>>
>>22194869
Yes it is, though it took me a bit to figure it out myself since I hadn't seen it in a while.
>>
>>22194843
>Gee your mom lets you have TWO burst lasers?
>ion cannon = ion bomb = pegasus launcher = breach bomb = any systems-denial weapon you could name, but only 1 power, solid
>FIRE BEAM
>OH YEA FIRE BEAM

nice loadout
>>
After midnight.

Going to bed.

Do something stupid.
>>
File: 1356325467351.jpg-(352 KB, 800x595, longtrude.jpg)
352 KB
>>22194777
sanyan time
>>
I never watched the show this thread is based off of because what little I saw of it seemed kind of... gimmicky? Can I use that word here?

Is it actually good?

Also, first time in a thread like this and I am LOVING it.
>>
>>22194962
yes its decent
>>
>>22194962

No. the show is nothing like SWQ.
>>
>>22194962

Show isn't great. Mainly low-key lesbianism and panty shots. This stuff is MUCH better.
>>
>>22194962

>Is it actually good?

No, it's terrible. Trying to watch it, especially after reading SWQ, will be very disappointing for you.
>>
>>22194962
Its....ok if you can watch entirely too much loli pantsu. The movie is actually pretty good though.
>>
BREAKING NEWS

HobbyBoss is releasing a massive 1:32 scale P-61 Black Widow kit soon.

tl;dr FUCK YEAH
>>
>>22194991
well we know what to send him next!
>>
>>22194962
the ride never ends

As for strike witches, it's up to its eyeballs in fan service and plays incredibly fast and loose with history (SWQ's setting is actually makes a bit more sense). One positive though is that the animators put an almost fetishistic amount of attention into the ships and whatnot they portray
>>
>>22194962
Depends on what you expect from it. If you want a serious military drama, like most of the people who hate it, then don't watch it. If you're fine with cute girls doing cute things, go for it.
>>
>>22194962
>Is it actually good?
Subjective.
Do you like watching underage girls with airplane legs flying around with no pants on?
I do. Thus, I enjoyed Strike Witches thoroughly.
The recently-released movie was a crock of shit, though. Nowhere near enough Sanyan.
>>
File: 1356325886705.jpg-(71 KB, 916x395, SWQ in a nutshell.jpg)
71 KB
>>22194962
The show is the lowest kind of fanservicey moeshit. It's somewhat worthwhile for the WW2 references (which are occasionally hilariously wrong), but otherwise nothing special.
>>
>>22194777

You sway woozily, the beer and the libido clashing in your system. Seizing the edge of the party cart. you try to hang on for dear life while avoiding your father's eyes.

"Sorry about that," Sanya says, shaking her head. "Minna is..." she blushes, looking at the ground, clearly embarrassed. "Minna is..." her face darkens. "Minna's lecherous. She's... she's terrible. She goes around groping every ass in the base, laughing like it's all a big joke to her." Sanya sniffles, catching her tail-tip in her hands and pulling it in front of her to worry it nervously. "She doesn't understand the trouble she makes. Or how it hurts people."

The entire room seems to be leaning in, holding their breath as they dote upon adorable, sad Sanya's every word... except your father. He, the man who sired an adorable little guilt-tripping PoutMaster of his own, and long ago learned to harden his heart to her dangerous, vicious wiles.

"Kid, I was a pilot myself," he says, "and I knew some Witches in my time, too. But THIS bullshit," he waves his hand to indicate you and everything in your immediate area - "is beyond the pale. THIS crap just doesn't happen."

Sanya shakes her head. "No! It does! It really does!" You feel your heart sinking towards your feet as you realize that nothing, nothing, not even the sudden and completely inexplicable appearance of HellCow itself, whom your father knows nothing about yet, can save you.

"You really expect me to believe that bullshit?" your father glowers at Sanya, and the poor little girl shrinks under his gaze.

"Hey!" someone says at his elbow.

Your father turns to find Anders, that Lightning driver from the infirmary.

Dressed in nothing but a toga.
>>
>>22195055
Yep, full circle.

And thank Sanya later when we can get her alone.
>>
>>22195055
>Dressed in nothing but a toga.
and we've come full circle
>>
File: 1356326086850.jpg-(18 KB, 437x364, 1328152563418.jpg)
18 KB
>>22195055
>Your father turns to find Anders, that Lightning driver from the infirmary. Dressed in nothing but a toga.

MFW
>>
>>22195055
GOOD MAN
>>22195072
We should abscond while the absconding is good.
>>
>>22195055
>Dressed in nothing but a toga.
Oh god its like when Henderson found a lawn gnome on his dashboard.

Its the end isn't it
>>
File: 1356326123013.jpg-(167 KB, 1056x1270, Pilot_James_Anders_by_the(...).jpg)
167 KB
>>22195055
For reference, this guy.

Minus the flightsuit.
>>
>>22195078
yes, yes we have
>>
>>22195106
And plus toga!
>>
File: 1356326176368.jpg-(32 KB, 600x400, 1125739537504.jpg)
32 KB
>>22195055

>ABSCOND
>>
File: 1356326205779.jpg-(223 KB, 1920x1080, caimen here, no problems.jpg)
223 KB
>>22195015
move was way better than the series u are a poopdick
>>
File: 1356326222421.jpg-(72 KB, 310x451, 1303451934905.jpg)
72 KB
>>22195055
OH GOD WE'VE BEEN REPLACED!
>>
>>22195055
"Nope, I'm not dealing with this shit right now. Dad, I'm leaving it to you to work out what the hell's going on. Fill me in later."
Walk right out.
>>
>>22195055
I kind of want to casually explain the quadruple(?) duplicity and just walk out on that.
>>
>>22195162
I'd like that too.
>>
>>22195162
Yes, this.

"Everyone but me's lying to get back at me for being a cocky dick, I've been going straight with Minna for a fair while now, and I have not had relations with any witch but her no matter what anyone else says. Good day."
>>
File: 1356326474046.jpg-(35 KB, 447x631, 1333158917392.jpg)
35 KB
>>22195055

"James!" you cry with delight, clapping him on the shoulder. "What are you wearing?"

"A toga," he replies, adjusting it. Upon closer examination, it's made of a single very large bath towel. "In respect to the great culture that birthed western culture!"

You squint at him suspiciously. "Where are your clothes?"

"... a Witch took them," he admits. "Where's the beer?"

You happily hand him one from the multiple cases on the Party Cart.

"So how's the party?"

"It's pretty good," James replies, cracking open his beer. He takes a step to one side. "Lively, festive." He takes another step, kind of orbiting you.

"... what are you doing?"

"Just making sure Genie can't - FUCK," he says, taking one last swig of his beer before executing a lovely diving roll behind one of the long classroom-like desks that equip the briefing room. A few seconds later, a young Witch comes to a skidding halt nearby, her head scanning the area intensely, before stalking away, clearly searching for someone.

With the slow, ponderous inevitability of a battleship turret swinging to bear, your father's head swivels back to Sanya.

She cocks her head and smiles the sweet little smile of a little girl that knows she's gotten her way. "See?"
>>
>>22195211
>fair while
>a couple days
>>
>>22195211
except for sanya. we can't have her getting caught in the great web of deceit and adultery that our father certainly thinks us in
>>
>>22195162
This

Or say something along the lines to Dad how we love Minna anyway despite her lecherous ways, and that we intend to set her on the straight and narrow. We're working on that, by the way.

Maybe toss in something how we're doing our best to live by what he taught us and to emulate his greatness and whatnot.

Then we tell him to lighten up and drink more, as surely he knows the boring hell of the conference room de/briefing that we crashed.
>>
>>22195223
Nod sagely in agreement and educate dad on why he is being unfair.
>>
>>22195223
Well...I guess this works too.

I still say we should explain it though.
>>
>>22195249
>all that shit
How about no.
>>
>>22195223

Which witch is Genie?

Too many to keep track after including the '89s.
>>
I'm surprised Young didn't note the resemblance to Lynette.

Genie is one of her sisters after all
>>
>>22195234
>>22195249
>>22195261
>>22195269
Do you see a >WAT DO here?
>>
>>22195269
Only to infuriate him more, later consequences be damned.

"By the way, Eila was just playing marriage chicken, Minna and I are just starting out, I taught her everything you taught me about trolling and it's taken root, and Sanya is a good girl. See you at lunch."
>>
>>22195288
No, but its what we should do though.
>>
>>22195288
You're supposed to be in bed. Go to sleep.
>>
>>22195283
She's from Thunder and Lighting, same story Anders is from.
>>
>>22195283
>too many to keep track of

God damn I hear you. For clarity's sake, Genie happens to be one of Lynette's sisters, one of Billy Bishop's many offspring. A character in LegioCI's spinoff story, "Thunder and Lightning." As is James Anders.
>>
>>22195286
Already did in another thread way back.
>>
>>22195312
I only had three... :(
>>
>>22195288
Since when has that stopped us?
>>
>>22195312
We need a character sheet on pastebin that you can link in the OP of every thread.
>>
>>22195312
I remember correctly, Lynetter has like 8 sisters right? Damn. Those horny rabbits.
>>
File: 1356326884327.jpg-(1.03 MB, 1200x1600, 1355301857233.jpg)
1.03 MB
>>22195312
canada pride swq wide
>>
>>22195362
There are eight Bishop children total. Some are boys. Lynette is the younger-middle child.
>>
>>22195365
Brominer pls go
>>
>>22195386
>Brominer is the only Canadian

I am insulted, sir.
>>
>>22195365
canadian interceptors are amazing because they have to go long distances to intercept BEAR CLASS DETECTED.

(also what sort of Canadian are you?)
>>
>>22195346
I'll do one after New Years. I did the one for '89, so I can do the Behemoth.
>>
>>22195421
Yay for Bit!
>>
>>22195403
South Ontario. There are other kinds of Canadians?
>>
>>22195403
Not him, but I'm from Newfoundland, known for our horrible accents.
>>
>>22195312
Bishop as in Strikers '89 & TW89 Bishops?
>>
>>22195488
No relation.
>>
>>22195403
Im from New Brunswick, known for its drinking.
>>
>>22195488
Not them.
>>
>>22195442
I have been assigned to Upstate NY for TACTICAL FISSION ACTION. I know Qubecois and their truckers.
i fucking hate qubec trucks, they drive too fast in giant trucks and they try to run my FJ off the road, which means I have to go at 85-90+ MPH to evade them.
>>
>>22195488
Nope! Fronk mentioned 'no relation' in reference to someone mentioning Bishop being a witchy name. Though Gramma Bishop DOES make good pancakes...
>>
File: 1356327461537.jpg-(32 KB, 513x964, sanya.jpg)
32 KB
Your father's face clouds with confusion. "I... I remember you. All that yelling... at the ceremony..." he rubs his head, thoroughly baffled. Probably because everyone was under the influence of some powerful Martian psionic mindfuckery at the time, which officially makes it the first time you've liked the bastards. "I..." he shakes his head. "Something's not right here. And besides, there can't be THAT many lechers on this base. They're GIRLS, after all, it goes against their na-MMMHPH-" he finishes as Waltrude Krupunski spins him around and plants a big, wet kiss on his mouth.

She pulls away after a long second with a wet *pop.*

"Oh," she apologizes. "Sorry. I thought you were someone else. You look a lot like... him!" she exclaims, pointing at you. You try to evade, but she moves at the speed of sexy, seizing you by your shirtfront and dragging you in for a kiss. She puts the mojo on you for several seconds, then releases you to stagger against the cart.

"Saaaanyaaaa," Waltrude purrs, gracefully swaying her way over to the young Russian witch like a drunken ballet dancer. "Hello, Sanya."

"Buh-buh-buh-" Sanya is objecting as Waltrude towers over her, leaning in, tilting Sanya's face up to hers -

"That's far enough you slutdrunk, you - you - you SLUTDRUNK -" you snap, lurching forward aggressively, hands reaching out to seize the goddamn lecherous womanizing Witch. "WHY DON'T YOU SEX UP SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE-"

And then Sanya rises on her tiptoes and kisses Waltrude on the mouth.
>>
>>22195513
It gets worse in Montreal.
>>
File: 1356327525363.gif-(1.6 MB, 350x197, I... ah... what.gif)
1.6 MB
>>22195546
>>
>>22195546
uh oh
intercontinental ballistic eila inbound
>>
File: 1356327556617.jpg-(12 KB, 284x370, 1296263618762.jpg)
12 KB
>>22195546
>>
>>22195546
Oh hey it is lewd times.

By which I mean Yuletide! Saturnalia, hey!
>>
>>22195548
what the fuck is wrong, a truck should not drive at 85+ on a 65MPH freeway, yes I know the Northway/A4? in canada is empty as fuck besides a few towns, but still, its worse than the US south, at least the speed limits are in the 70s so its not so bad!
>>
>>22195546
grab two beers, shoot air, use diversion to take father outside, drown sorrows for heart warming father/son time.
>>
File: 1356327570297.jpg-(20 KB, 500x269, 325635.jpg)
20 KB
>>22195546
>>
File: 1356327578688.png-(68 KB, 290x199, 1351095238030.png)
68 KB
>>22195546
>>
File: 1356327587906.jpg-(32 KB, 651x451, welp.jpg)
32 KB
>>22195546
Time we kill a Nazi, boys.
>>
>>22195546
All that's missing is Eila walking in just to see that.
>>
>>22195546
Eject, eject right now
This room is about to implode.
Grab dad and cheese it.
>>
File: 1356327606277.jpg-(199 KB, 573x728, 1327278591016.jpg)
199 KB
>>22195546
WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON!?
AM I HAPPY!? AM I UPSET!?
I JUST DON'T KNOW ANYMORE
>>
>>22195546

>And then Sanya rises on her tiptoes and kisses Waltrude on the mouth.

planfag, I fucking love you. Let's have mansex.
>>
>>22195546
This is the point where we seize the opportunity to walk out before it's too late.
>>
>>22195575
Quebec drivers. You do not question them. If you're a pedestrian, you simply pray to whatever gods you hold dear that you make it home at all.
>>
File: 1356327658701.png-(115 KB, 326x226, raywhat.png)
115 KB
>>22195546
there are no words
>>
......just how deep does this hijink hole go? and will Sanya retain her innocence in the end?
>>
>>22195590
Also probably another Martian attack causing super sex thoughts or something is going on. That was a little forward, even for Cupcake.
>>
>>22195575
Quebeqois are naturally aggressive people. Its their only way of venting the fact we wont let them be their own country.
>>
File: 1356327688858.jpg-(289 KB, 584x505, 1350447540653.jpg)
289 KB
>>22195546
>>
>>22195546
Well, on the bright side Dad will see the confusion and horror on our faces at Adorable Cossack and understand much.
>>
>>22195621
>implying dad will care about looking at our face right now
>>
>>22195612
oh dear lord
>>
>>22195613
"Own" country, you mean. They ain't taking their blocks and playing somewhere else, they still want access to ours when we can't touch theirs.
>>
>>22195639
see, the big problem I would have is it would be annoying having to deal with new visa requirements since I go to Quebec for parties/foods and tourism.
>>
>>22195667
>>22195639
Hey hey hey, take it to /int/.
>>
Dis gonna be good.
>>
>>22195546
Shes protecting us again.
If he familys dead shes so getting adopted.
Or kidnapped.
>>
File: 1356328527441.jpg-(44 KB, 318x529, elia grabs woop woop.jpg)
44 KB
This is too lewd
>>
>>22195809
her*
>>
File: 1356328584367.jpg-(44 KB, 700x700, 1331790654043.jpg)
44 KB
Standing on tiptoes, her fluffy black tail twitching back and forth like cats do when they're being stroked, Sanya presses her lips against Waltrude's artlessly, clumsily. Waltrude, face flushed with booze, catches Sanya's cheeks in her hands and holds her gently as she kisses her back.

You see a shudder shoot through Sanya's body as Waltrude's tounge enters her mouth, the slow, sensual pace of her explorations extremely evident in Sanya's little twitches and trembles. Her dainty pianist hands are clenched together with white-knuckled vigor before her, nervous and unsure as Waltrude rubs her thumbs against Sanya's pale cheeks, trailing her fingertips down her neck as she releases her mouth.

Waltrude straightens up, a satisfied look on her face. "SEEYAS," she exclaims at Drunk Volume, waving happily at your little group, before swaying away into the party, lunging at Erica while making kissing noises.

Whatever SHE drank, it sure as hell wasn't on the party cart.

"Son," your father says in a soft, awed voice, "I believe I owe you one hell of an apology."
>>
File: 1356328650553.png-(16 KB, 250x332, 1353370017897.png)
16 KB
>>22195830
3lewd5me
>>
>>22195830
what the fuck did she drink!?!
>>
>>22195830
if this isn't martian mindfuckery electric boogaloo we owe sanya all of the goddamn ice cream in england
>>
>>22195830
man. that's lewd as hell
>>
>>22195830
We owe Sanya BIIIIIIIGGGGGGG for this.
>>
>>22195852
All of everything
>>
>>22195830
shes good.
>>
>>22195852
same shit i did earlier tonight, everclear (or Abstine, but that shit is illegal because my boss doesn't like it)
>>
>>22195830
Whatever she had, we need some. Minna deserves whatever happens next, methinks.
>>
>>22195852
The question is, what didn't she drink?
WHITE LIGHTNING.
>>
File: 1356328751020.gif-(21 KB, 455x364, Stay down dammit.gif)
21 KB
>>22195830
Despite my jokes, this is uh...
>>
File: 1356328751886.jpg-(33 KB, 500x500, 1330667025842.jpg)
33 KB
>>22195830
Sanya is back on her feet, face already maroon and rushing for beet-red, her eyes wide and hands clapped over her mouth. She leans against the desk behind her, her legs trembling and unsteady.

You scowl, feeling upstaged by your maxim foe. "She ain't THAT good," you mutter.

Sanya's eyes snap up to you, as if she's just realized you exist - then she scans the entire party in a panic.

"Don't worry, she's not there," you huff, knowing who she's looking for. "Only I have luck that rottenly perverse."

Sanya doesn't seem to hear you as she stumbles away, her face blank and shell-shocked... and not in any good way. She stumbles to the door, cracks it open, and slips into the hallway. The echoing stone halls of Castle Barin amplify her first sob, making it barely audible even over the party's furor.

You shake your head, and lean against the party cart to stabilize your body as the lightning-swift swings of adrenaline and lust duke it out in your bloodstream. Bent over, head dangling, you look directly at your crotch.

"Don't ask me, boner," you mutter. "I don't know either."
>>
>>22195830
You know what? I don't even care anymore.

Let's get out of here, find Minna and fuck her until we both fell asleep.
>>
>>22195884
>"Don't ask me, boner," you mutter. "I don't know either."
I'm afraid I think we all do know.
>>
>>22195884
God damn it, little sister is crying. Grab Minna, head out to the hallway and both of us give her a hug.
>>
>>22195884
>The echoing stone halls of Castle Barin amplify her first sob, making it barely audible even over the party's furor.
PLANEFAG
THIS BETTER HAVE A NON-LEWD HAPPY ENDING
>>
>>22195884
find a good hiding spot and sleep
>>
>>22195913
hugs tiem
>>
>>22195884
no boner. no, go away. come again another day
>>
>>22195913
Minna got dragged away by hellcow.
>>
File: 1356328945624.jpg-(60 KB, 394x503, I know where you and all (...).jpg)
60 KB
oh god what is happening
>>
>>22195923
this is planefag ....this train has no breaks
>>
>>22195913
Minna was abducted by Yoshika riding hellcow. I do agree we gotta go help her out though. She just took one hell of a hit for us
>>
>>22195884
Was it rape?
>>
>>22195884

PULL OUT ALL THE STOPS. WE RIDE TO LITTLE SISTER SANYA'S RESCUE! DEUS VULT!
>>
File: 1356329032750.jpg-(21 KB, 600x452, M72LL.jpg)
21 KB
>>22195936
The ride never ends.
>>
This shit has gotten seriously way out of hand. Something is just waiting to go into Armageddon-mode, but what?
>>
>>22195954
oh god....
>>
File: 1356329074172.jpg-(54 KB, 843x721, 69793a4d73105e03dcebf8982(...).jpg)
54 KB
NEXT TI-

... TOMORROW? Christmas Eve thread? Shit, is it already Christmas Eve? Dare I? Yes/No?
>>
>>22195970
YES
>>
>>22195970
YES

YES

YES
>>
>>22195970
YES GODDAMMIT
>>
>>22195970

YES

FUCK YOU IF YOU'LL LET LITTTLE SISTA GO OFF LIKE THAT FOR A MONTH
>>
>>22195970
DON"T YOU DARE NEXT TIME WITHOUT RESOLVING THIS!
>>
>>22195970
>... TOMORROW? Christmas Eve thread? Shit, is it already Christmas Eve? Dare I? Yes/No?
DO IT FAGGET
>>
>>22195970
Yessir
>>
>>22195970
YES. YOU MUST.
>>
>>22195970
IS THAT EVEN A QUESTION

ALSO YES
>>
>>22195970
YOU DARE. YOU DARE. DO IT. ...Though I think '89 might be running tomorrow as well.
>>
File: 1356329155421.jpg-(63 KB, 572x444, One More Post, Planefag.jpg)
63 KB
>>22195970
YES YOU CRAZY BASTARD.
>>
>>22195970
Yes.
>>
>>22195970

YES

YES

YES YOU LEWD THING YOU
>>
>>22195970
Christmas Eve is TODAY.
7 hours remaining!
>>
>>2219597
NO DAMNIT! I WONT BE HERE!

>>22196001
89 is on Tuesday like normal
>>
File: 1356329203841.jpg-(305 KB, 800x783, 1304615656479.jpg)
305 KB
>>22195970
I will give you all my fucks, sir. ALL OF THEM.
>>
>>22195970
I'LL KILL YOU IF YOU DON'T!!
>>
>>22195970

DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!
>>
Yes, do post tomorrow!
>>
>>22195970
Frankincense, myrrh, gold, and SWQ yes!
>>
File: 1356329244173.jpg-(23 KB, 785x474, 1320229586957.jpg)
23 KB
>>22196012
Oh fuck, don't remind me.
>>
>>22196017
Too bad he'll have hardly anyone posting; it's fucking christmas after all.
>>
>>22195970
I was thinking of running mine too, but that's cool. SWQ is ossum, do it daget.
>>
>>22196035
Fuck that. Post from phones. Post from PSPs. Post from iPads and Kindles. Post from Xboxes and Playstations and Wiis. WHEN PLANEFAG CALLS, WE ANSWER! Deus vult.
>>
Another thread please! We need to save Adorable Cossack from permanent damage!
>>
>>22196053
I was referring to Ghost and SW89 on tuesday, not so much Planefag and tomorrow.
>>
>>22196035

I've been thinking about postponing till Thursday or so. Not that *I* have anything better to do Christmas, but it sounds like a lot of people do
>>
>>22196076
No, No, do it Ghost! Do both even!
>>
File: 1356329469533.gif-(2.67 MB, 400x225, 1354890127762.gif)
2.67 MB
>>22196035
>Too bad he'll have hardly anyone posting; it's fucking christmas after all.
>Implying most of us here actually have lives
>>
>>22196053
Hmmm nah. I'll be out of the house most of the day, and I don't think I can post from my 3DS.

>>22196076
You too.
>>
>>22196076

don't worry man, I'll be there.
>>
>>22196076

YES.

Otherwise I'll have to post on christmas.

(GMT +8 here)
>>
>>22196035
>>22196053

That was my thinking. Christmas Eve is almost as bad as Christmas Day. And I work the day after Christmas, so I'd be free on Friday night at the earliest.

I don't wanna make people miss out or pick between this and holiday time.
>>
File: 1356329602959.png-(281 KB, 1400x800, 1302358-VBNAHF8.png)
281 KB
I'M GETTIN TOO OLD FOR THIS JOB. New archive all up to date n' shit.

http://www.mediafire.com/?np3hpdyiazf09yp

Also: For those that aren't aware, my writefaggotry, Demons of the Pacific, has ended. You can read it here, if you'd like: http://tofusaur.us/res/2960.html

And you can look forward to its continuation, Strike Witches Crimson, on the 28th.
>>
>>22196076
People do tend to have family gatherings, not everyone's an anti-social fucktard. I'm going to be busy tomorrow without a computer to get access to.

>>22196115
Tomorrow is no problem for me as the big stuff happens on the 25th, not the day before, dunno about other people.
>>
>>22196115
I pick this over holiday time, every time.
>>
>>22196115
OH NO. DON'T YOU *DARE* BACK OUT OF THIS WHEN YOU ASKED US.

YOU WANTED OUR OPINION ON THIS, AND WE HAVE MADE IT CLEAR.
>>
>>22196140

I could always split the difference and do... N'OO'P.

I've got some shit planned for him, yes sir I fucking do
>>
>>22196130
is that.. a witch in nineball
OH GOD ITS AC ALL OVER AGAIN
>>
>>22196130
TIGER MIT ZWEIHANDER FICK JA
>>
>>22196017
I cannot into days, apparently. Derp.
>>
>>22196167

Planefag we need MC Young in a Tesla plane going to '89 to shoot down flankers.
>>
>>22196167
Noooooo

MUST HUG COSSACK
>>
>>22196177
>>22196171

It's actually an IS striker. Just sayin'.
>>
>>22196167
>N'oo'p
>after that cliffhanger
>after promising a quick resolution to that cliffhanger

Planefag, plz
>>
>>22196190
>stratos technology
>space generation strikers
...with marsian super-energy reactors it could work but that would mean MC in the 2020s would be japanese Mc..
>>
>>22196167
YOU WILL DO A THREAD OR I WILL SLAP YOUR SHIT!
>>
File: 1356329912574.jpg-(55 KB, 800x572, 00faaeb6dad5e01819e9f3dbc(...).jpg)
55 KB
>>22196191

TOMORROW, THEN. SAME TIME... SAME PLACE!

BE THERE OR GO HANG MISTLETOE ON YOUR TREE LIKE SOME KIND OF GODDAMN FAMILY-LIFE FAGGOT I DON'T KNOW

8-ISH PM, EST, HERE ON TEE FRIKKIN GEE
>>
>>22196186
Or to 21XX.
>>
>>22196212
FUCKING GLORIOUS!
>>
>>22196212
I'll probably be late to the show, I'll probably be there.
>>
>>22196212

ENJOY YOUR LEWD DAKI DATE PLANEFAG
>>
>>22196212
works for me. thanks for the xmas gift fap angel
>>
File: 1356330176280.jpg-(309 KB, 1024x1024, 00193507b35ff523fcfe0f9f8(...).jpg)
309 KB
>>22196238

Speaking of fap angel, you might want to pay attention to tofusaur for a bit. After this thread I seriously doubt a fapfic WON'T spring up there.

Sick bastards.
>>
File: 1356330261314.jpg-(347 KB, 1950x1333, Battleflag of the Fleet.jpg)
347 KB
Wassup guys. Remember me? Of course you don't, I haven't posted a goddamn thing since July. To spare your memories, I write the post-thread story "Prune Barge Shuffle", set on the USS California. If you want to catch up on the backlog, take a gander at this thread here: http://tofusaur.us/res/4332.html

It's got all of my chapters in one convenient package for you to peruse.

However, I've actually got a NEW chapter this thread, finally! So sit back, relax, and enjoy Prune Barge Shuffle Session 10.
>>
>>22196275
>drunk at the party
>witches hankerin' for some action

It's gonna be an orgy. And then hellcow busts in and everyone thinks its over, but instead it's got a deployable dildo.

And of course, Krupinski is into that sort of thing.
(Don't you mean that sort of thing is into her? OOHHHH!)
>>
>>22196275
>implying you don't write them.
>>
*December 23, 1942, the North Sea*

Hans was near death. He didn't know how long he had been adrift in the half-sunken lifeboat, the constant storm making it nearly impossible to keep track of the passage of time. What little food and water was left was unusable; he had given up trying to keep it down in the constantly tossing and turning boat.

As he rolled back onto his back after emptying his stomach of acid for the umpteenth time, he heard it. The slow dirge of a fog horn sounding his demise; the raider had returned to finish the job. Hans tried to care, tried to muster up some tiny element of self preservation, but he knew he was a dead man. The knowledge that his suffering was at an end was almost comforting. He opened his eyes one last time to meet his death like a man, and then widened them in shock as the realization dawned.

...It wasn't a Kriegsmarine destroyer that had sunk his ship...

With a superhuman effort summoning all of his remaining energy, Hans rolled over, and began to frantically dig through the box at the bow of the lifeboat. Every second that passed let the window of rescue close that much more.

With a weak shout of triumph, Hans seized upon his prize. With one last herculean effort, he rolled back onto his back and thrust his arm into the sky. One more desperate grab, he had the string in his other hand, and he pulled as hard as he could.

Hans let out a weak cheer as the red flare shot into the sky.
>>
>>22196324
**

“Is this all true?” growled Captain Lindermann from his desk.

“I have no reason to doubt him, Captain” replied the Bismarck's medical officer. “He has no reason to lie. If the Martians attacked his ship, why tell us otherwise?”

Lindermann growled an acknowledgment as he reread the doctor's report for the third time. That growl slowly grew into a menacing snarl as he read.

“Those bastards. Those utter pigfucking BASTARDS!” roared Lindermann as he jumped out of his chair. “Of all the things they could have done, they do this?! This is the last straw. This is too far!”

“So what should we do, Captain?” asked the CMO. “Should we radio Berlin, and sic the U-Boats on them? Keep it in-house?”

Captain Lindermann paused, and sighed. “No. They have betrayed not only the Fatherland, but the entire world. The world deserves to know their treachery,” He quickly walked over to the telephone in his office and picked it up. “Bridge, hail the California, and tell Admiral Lee I need to talk to him face to face.”
>>
>>22196340
**

*Two Hours Later*

A visibly angered Admiral Lee called the meeting of the department heads to order. "Three days ago, a ship of unknown make attacked and sank a German freighter without warning. After sinking it, the unknown ship proceeded to slaughter the survivors in the water. This unknown ship was of human make, gentlemen."

The Admiral paused to let that sink in as the ship softly groaned while she rolled. "We know this because they left one survivor alive, someone who is safely recuperating in the Bismarck's sickbay right now. He gave us a loose recognition drawing, as you can see here, slide," he said as a ship profile was displayed on the screen. "He told us something else," he said as he turned and leaned down on the desk. "The ship was crewed by the SS. They 'sieg hieled' to their dead fuehrer as they killed the men in the water."

The admiral was practically seething at this point. "Mackintosh. I want you to plot out a search pattern, centered on the coordinates of the sinking, and I want it done as soon as this meeting is over," He cut off Mackintosh before the man could finish acknowledging the order. "Captain, I want the ship on Port-and-Starboard sailing starting immediately. I want the crew as maximum a readiness as possible at all times. Nixon, I want one of your planes up at all times. You can work out a rotation with Lyons at your leisure, but I want a bird aloft looking for these sons of bitches every minute of the day."
>>
>>22196206
>stratos

IS. Iosef Stalin tank. God damn.
>>
>>22196354

Nixon cleared his throat before speaking up. "Sir, we can't. There's a Force 10 storm blowing. We can't go up in that kind of weather; we'll be knocked from the sky by fifty knot winds."

Admiral Lee snapped a glare at the man. "That wasn't a request, LIEUTENANT. I told you to put your birds in the air, and I damn well expect them to be up! IS THAT CLEAR?!"

"Ye-yessir."

"Good," replied Admiral Lee as he closed his eyes and breathed deep for a moment. When he opened them again they seemed to be filled with wrath. "Gentlemen, I will say this only once: I want this ship sunk. I want it sunk, and I will not rest until these traitorous bastards are swinging from the California's yardarm. You have your orders. Dismissed!"

**

*December 24, 1942*

Lieutenant Richard M. Nixon yawned. This was the sixth time he'd gone up in the past eighteen hours, and he was getting worn down. He had to fight for every inch while he was up; constantly the fighting 50 knot+ winds that were buffering his small floatplane across the skies as he scanned for a ship that could be hiding anywhere. And then there were the landings...

Nixon shuddered involuntarily at the prospect of his return to the ship. It was an absolute miracle that neither plane had crashed yet trying to touch down in the bounding seas.
>>
>>22196354
unrestrected submarine warfare

see ethnically its weird, since IRL we did the same damn thing to Japan, so yeah we don't have the biggest ethical bus to stand on this.
>>
>>22196368

With a groan (and a leg up from his radioman), Nixon pulled himself into the cockpit of his Kingfisher. Lyons was on his way back, and Nixon's own plane was refueled and standing idling on the ship's catapult, already swung out to port. The pre-flight checklist was as grueling as it had been previous 5 times; he had only barely been able to swallow his last meal back down while he went over it. He managed to keep it down, however, and completed the checklist without further incident. He put the clipboard back into its holder, and gave a thumbs up to the catapult crewman. "Alright, Mike. Here we go again..." he said to his radioman with a wince as he braced himself against the cockpit. A few seconds more as the ship rolled back to starboard and...

*BANG*

The plane rocketed forward as it was thrown into the air by the catapult's black powder charge, the wind immediately starting to try and throw it around. Nixon was ready for it, however, and quickly fought the wind to a stalemate before climbing higher. And thus began his monotonous job once more: scanning through the pouring rain, trying to find a single ship in the miles upon miles upon miles of ocean. The two men didn't even bother with conversation anymore; everything they could have said had already been said, and they were far too tired to think up anything new. The minutes dragged on and on. The only sound in the plane was the rumble of the engine and the rain on the glass.
>>
>>22196364

Also known as the Josef Stalin Tank.

Dammit NavalAnon, WoT/Girls und Panzer moar.
>>
>>22196387
Nixon had just turned his plane north again when a voice finally broke over the radio. "Dick! Dick! Hey old man, wait up!" Nixon spun his head around, scanning the skies, until he noticed the glowing blue spot attached to a witch-shaped blur forming up on his wing.

"Florence? What are you doing up? I thought you witches were grounded."

"Nah," she replied dismissively, her magical earpiece radio muffling the sound of the rain she was flying through. "Only Fuchs was, and that was just because the Bismarck took a roll while she was down for recharging. One of her strikers fell out of its stand with her still in it," The blue glow appeared to shake from side to side. "Snapped her leg bone real good. She's gonna be laid up in bed until we dock again."

"I see..." replied Nixon as he adjusted his heading. A sudden realization hit him. "Wait, you're flying through heavy rain out there. How the heck are you coping?"

A giggle came over the radio. "What, did you think a little rain is gonna stop any sailor worth her salt? I've got a peacoat on, and I'm wearing goggles as well as my shield modulation. Although," she said with a sudden twinge of dread and regret, "I'm not looking forward to dealing with my hair..."

Nixon allowed himself a chuckle at that, before Adams spoke up again. "Hey, your radioman don't talk much, does he?"

"I'm a man of few words," shrugged back Mike.

"Truly the perfect quality for a radioman," drawled Nixon.

Adams giggled again, before the two lapsed back into silence.
>>
>>22196378
fuck ethics we won
>>
>>22196407

"Hey...Dick?" asked Adams a few minutes later.

"Yeah?"

"We're gonna get these pigfuckers for what they've done, right?"

"That's why we're up here, Florence. We're gonna find them so the fleet can blow them to Hell."

"Good," the witch replied, with an edge of eagerness in her voice.

Nixon opened his mouth to say something about her excitement, but thought better of it, and silence once again filled the cockpit. However, twenty minutes later, as Nixon started to turn the plane east, Adams suddenly broke back across the radio "Hey Dick? Dick! I've got something!"

"What? Where?!"

"I've got a contact in my magic, bearing 2-8-9 relative! Range, about twenty miles!"

Nixon immediately increased power to maximum and rolled his plane over to the left. After a short pause to check his instruments again, he started to scan the sea, trying to make out the contact with his own eyes amongst the storm. Adams was still calling out updated contact info to him every minute until...

"There she is!" exclaimed Mike from his seat. A large gray shape had hove into view out of the rain. It was what appeared to be an approximately 8,000 tonner freighter. However, most freighters didn't have an aircraft catapult mounted aft.

"That's her! That's the raider!" shouted Adams. "Nan - Able - Fox - Tare, come in! This is Charlie-3!"

"Charlie-3, we've got you loud and clear," came the cool voice of the radio operator back on the California.

"We've got them!"
>>
DAMMIT PRANEFAGGUS MAXIMUS

[ ] Retrieve Minna, parents, Robin, CHASE AFTER ADORABLE COSSACK

WE MUST DO THIS

FUCK THE PARTY. ADORABLE COSSACK REQUIRES ALL OUR ATTENTION WE CAN MUSTER.

SHE HAS DONE A TERRIBLE THING FOR PILOT. SHE HAS PUT HER FEELINGS ON DA RINE. FOR PILOT.
>>
>>22196422

**

In the California's radio room, heads suddenly snapped around. "Charlie-3, say again."

"We've found the raider! Merchantman with an aircraft catapult mounted on the stern! There isn't anything else it could be!"

"Copy that, do you have the location?"

"Uh..." stammered Adams for a moment. "Yes! Charlie 1 kept a dedicated log of their flight! Give them a minute to work it down."

Silence filled the air for several minutes before Adams cut back in. "Okay! It's heading due East, at these coordinates..." As she rattled them off, a radioman very quickly jotted them down as he mouthed "Get the Admiral on the phone right now!"

"Copy that, Charlie-3. Loiter as close as you feel safe, but don't lose them, understand?" said the on-duty radio officer.

"Understood! Charlie-3 out."

**

Aboard the Bismarck, a signalman diligently took down the blinking light message being passed from the California. After signaling a confirmation back, he bolted into the bridge and thrust the message into the hands of Captain Lindermann.

Lindermann looked it over with a baleful eye before passing it to his navigator. "Helm, alter course to 0-3-5. Accelerate to Flank Speed," he ordered as he stalked to the front of his bridge.

"Today, we are going to destroy these SS scum who attempted to drag the Fatherland into their own damnation! Sound General Quarters!
>>
>Prune Barge Shuffle is back

Hooray!
>>
And that's it for tonight, gents. I'll see y'all again...tomorrow? Fuck. Well, here's the link for the collected works again: http://tofusaur.us/res/4332.html

Any questions/criticisms/comments?
>>
>>22196378
>Unrestricted Submarine Warfare
>Ship responsible is described as a surface raider

The problem isn't JUST that they're sinking ships, it's that they're still doing it. In 1942. After all the nations of Earth allied to fight off the Martians. They are plainly committing High Treason against Humanity.

Also, since America didn't enter WW2 (it ended on the day we were supposed to), it's hard for us to use USW against the Japs.
>>
>>22196573

Fucking traitors. The Emperor would be displeased.
>>
>>22196573
how the fuck do they have supplies, submarines pre natulius had.. iffy as fuck ranges and shit for supplies, assuming it left at 1941 right at the end of the one-2 year war of WW2, it would have LONG ran out of torpedoes/ammo and diesel fuel for its engine.

there are nazi sympathizer in Germany/France/New World, that is a bigger problem more than anything!
>>
>>22196430
Holy fuck, why didn't anyone tell me corsair witches was this good?!
>>
>>22196633
It's a SURFACE SHIP. And we don't know. All that we do is that a ship crewed by the SS is apparently running around playing pirate.
>>
>>22196633
Clearly they've resorted to piracy. Midnight raids at a naval base far from the Martian front?
>>
>>22196642
Because this isn't corsair witches.

CW is a fanfiction of PBS.

A fanfiction of a fanfiction of a fanfiction.

We need to go deeper.
>>
>>22196713
>CW is a fanfiction of PBS.

...u wot m8?
>>
>>22196654
>nazi surface ships
oh god sink it with torpedoes/maximum irony, have U-571 sink it, because a surface raider makes.. much much more sense.
>>
>>22196758
Are you Bismarck-fusterated? I can't hear you over mien Graf Zeppelin, ITS A FUCKING FANFICTION OF AN ALTERNATE REALITY. THERE ARE GIRLS IN FUCKING UNDERWEAR WITH MAGICAL PLANE LEGS. SOME THINGS ARE DIFFERENT DEAL WITH IT
>>
>>22196803

He totally is. He mixed up the Iosef Stalin Tank with a shitty anime.

He Bismarckmad, man. he Bismarckmad.
>>
>>22196841
NavalAnon is a R-tard and he should be ashamed of himself for marring PBS' return with his stupidity.
>>
>>22196886
>not using actual curse words
are you 13 or something, and I'm a logistics fag more than anything, LOGISTICS IS THE ONE TRUE GOD OF THIS WORLD, ALL OTHER GODS ARE HERSEY
>>22196841
i am not into tanks, and we are basing this of SW, taste is subjective as shit (and both bad)
>>
>>22196921
>Not into tanks
Confirmed for Serbian scrub. Also, people don't have to curse to get their point across. Are you the real 13 year old here?
>>
>>22196921
>scolds someone for not swearing
>calls THEM a 13 year old

oh god the irony is killing me
>>
>>22196946

Mah nigga.

NavalAnon is always going full R-(e)tard. Always. Also a Serbian Scrub.
>>
>>22196921
REMOVE NAVAL KEBAB
>>
>>22196212
i'm late to the part, but to hell with it, THANK YOU GAP FOR THE CHRISTMAS PREZZY



Delete Post [File Only] Password
Style
[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k] [cm / hm / y] [3 / adv / an / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / hc /