The shit in question is known to have served with distinction in many Imperial Space battles, namely in the Gothic Sector

Rumors persist of Black Decks tainted by the presence of some strange human military cult obsessed with remaining onboard.
Equally lethal and elusive attempts to either exterminate them or seal those decks off remain unsuccessful.

The ship is currently operating in the Tiji sector, in service to various factions.

The ship served in the Imperial Navy, but is of Mechanicus Design. Previous to Naval Service it was used as an Explorator Vessel

There is a small group of exodite eldar living in the lower decks, for some reason no one, not the spess elves nor the human crew, seem to give a shit

There is a considerable quality of low quantity of amasec sloshing around in one of the holds after an unfortunate accident.

Curiously this vessel contains both a quarantine section and ore processing facilities.
Both are intermittently lost to the Black Decks.

>>22117243
One of ship's parts is tainted with the Warp and when the ship enters Immaterium, it can and probably will spawn daemons.

The Current Captain of the Ship was Formerly a Sister of Battle. Just how she got out of her duties, or why, is unknown.

The rogue-trader owner of the vessel has the lifelong goal of building a harem of guardswomen, female inquisitors, sisters of battle and techpriestesses.

(If I may be so bold as to make a second addition)
He is not succeeding

>>22117347
>>22117338

The ship was initially designed to capture and study various xeno species - it thus has environments suited for a wide variety of species on board.

>>22117377
>>22117393

This is probably why SHE left her order. I'm not sure they would okay with this goal.

The ship is made of a kind of living metal and has an advanced machine spirit of its own.

>>22117358
I think you got the terms mixed up.

>>22117377
>>22117393

Although she seeks to bed a variety of interesting and exotic women, at heart, the captain only really has a place in her heart for her sweet young navigator.

The Mechanicus is currently trying to recapture the ship after documentation arose concerning some peculiar modifications made to it after its first Exploration foray.

>>22117409
doesnt work, its of adeptus mechanicus design

>>22117377
>>22117393
>>22117408
To be fair, owner is not necessarily the Captain, it may as well be its part of a Rogue Trader fleet

>>22117417
who is male

>>22117370
This section of the ship has been heavily sealed off and no one is allowed to go there, though the captain will sometimes dispose of people she doesn't like by tossing them down there.

a good portion of the lower crewmembers are slaves, many mutated

>>22117425
The captain is the rogue trader's aunt

Their interests are often at odds

>>22117424
Are you privy to all the secrets of the Mechanicus?

>>22117426

Shame the Captain doesn't know that.

The ship's very first mission was to investigate what was latter found to be a Tombworld. The whole original crew was killed, but the ship found later intact.

>>22117438
I take back what i said. Works, but it retarded. Which makes it canon.

>>22117425

I don't think this ship is a member of any sort of Fleet. Too borderline heretical.

>>22117455
well it DOES have a sister-ship, a small fregate often sent out to scout and such.

>>22117417

Though the captain is a notorious womanizer, and she seeks the affections of her (apparently a trap) navigator, the only person on the ship who truly cares for her and loves her for who she is, is her poor astropath, a sweet but terminally shy girl.

>>22117459
The sister ship was ripped right out of the side of a space hulk

The ship is on bad terms with the Mechanicus, who want to recapture and dismantle it. Due to this, the majority of tech-priests on the ship are of dubious loyalty to the Mechanicus, many being borderline tech-heretics.

And it's fairly certain that the head AdMech is actually a Big Mek.

>>22117461
also, of course, severely scarred by the sanctioning

>>22117463
fucking awesome. FUCK. thats awesome

14 grots, 28 squigs, and 5 orks are technically employed by the rogue trader

The last crew survey found members of the crew include Humans, Ratlings, Ogryns, Squats, Mutants, Orks, Grots, Snotlings, Eldar, Kroot and an extremely terrified, lost and confused cadre of Water and Earth Caste Tau.

The ship's Original Name was "Omnissiah's Gaze". During Naval Service it was called "The Brutal Mercy". Nowadays it's known, when not using various aliases, as "Sister's Lust".

>>22117470
although, as it is hard to tell his race under all the augmetics, there is also the theory, that he is, indeed originally human, but once recieved a brain-modifier of orkish origin, which turned his personality (argueably) to the worse

>>22117496
The crew taking the survey went missing when trying to record the number of squats present.

Unknown causes

The ship's Head Priest is actually a Tau Water Caste member who, for reasons he won't speak of, became violently disenfranchised with the Greater Good, and took up the Emperor as his savior.

>>22117514
The ship's survey keeps coming up with Squats on the roster, but no-one's actually seen any of them.

In truth, they live in a small, hidden base near the Engine and are the only thing keeping them running.

>>22117496
The tau brought a manta and three battlesuits with them. Unfortunately no one knows how to use them so they just sort of sit in the hold

>>22117519
he doesnt quite get the scripture. Has a hard time understanding the passages about those "xeno" folks, whoever those may be

The Captain of the ship is the aforementioned lusty Sister of Battle.
Her "war council", as she refers to them as, include her Trap Navigator (Who the Captain secretly desires, not knowing she is a trap), her shy Astropath (who secretly desires the Captain), her Orky AdMech, her Tau convert, as well as others. Her Seneschal is an Eldar who unfortunately became trapped on the Path of the Accountant. The head of her ground forces is actually a Ratling sitting on an Ogryn's shoulders claiming to be one very large (but smallheaded) tactical genius.

The official Ship's cook is a nice Kroot lunchlady. No-one dares ask her what the mystery meat is.

>>22117541
its Tofu

One of the captain's most trusted crewmembers is a Purple Ork, who no-one has ever actually seen. He's an excellent Kommando.

Since the rogue trader took over, 20 human children have been orn aboard the vessel.

>>22117552
No wonder her Kroot Kindred have become basically hippies.

There's a tyranid daycare center.

Other important Crew members include the Helmsman (no-one has noticed that he's actually a servitor. The fancy hat really makes him seem lifelike)

The ship mostly sustains itself through petty piracy.

>>22117409
I did. But somehow, having little puddles of obscenely high quality amasec is just as fun as having a 3 inch deep pool of low quality stuff over the whole deck.

>>22117557
also, there has been an epidemic of not very serious iron deficiency related symptoms, such as grooved nails.

The Chief Gunner used to be in the Guard, in an Artillery Regiment. He still has a Deathstrike Missile hidden somewhere. Problem is he's so old he's forgotten where he hid it.

the captain is secretly sporting a large penis.

>>22117596
Veto

>>22117596
Also Veto

File: 1355930338385.jpg-(13 KB, 250x250, tricked.jpg)

>>22117602

>>22117596
veto the third


I'm all for the captain actually being a man in an extremely elaborate disguise though

>>22117608
Also also veto. Navigator is already a trap.

The ship technically has its very own Fighter Wing. They don't have a single similar craft among them, and aren't particularly competent.

The Master of the Augers is a mutant, with a terrible neckbeard.

>>22117635
You mean, a neckbear, right?

>>22117635
The neckbeard is actually an unidentified sapient alien life form.

It makes bad jokes that the Master of Augers is blamed for

this is all sweet except for the trap wtf

>>22117651
Well, I don't like the trap much either, but /tg/ won't be happy without it. I'm fine with letting the Navigator be a trap as long as penises are kept away from other characters.

>>22117644
>>22117641
>>22117635

The neckbeard can also turn into a neckbear, usually when its host is in danger.

you guys are clueless. No need for veto.

Yeah, she has a cock. But in the sense of owning one. Its a trophy of a slaaneshi preacher she once killed.

situation defused.

Once some Dark Eldar attacked the ship. They were driven off, but a squad of Wyches was left behind. They are still on the ship, lost due to its terribly designed layout.

at least 70% of the crew is human/subhuman or mostly human.

>>22117673
Nice save.

>>22117673
And that's why she is lusty.

>>22117651
Hey, as the one who posted >>22117426 I place the formal request to not be blamed for this

Instead, blame this fellow >>22117442

The ship has been modified countless times. This has led to it having a horrifically non-intuitive layout, with crewmembers becoming lost a regular occourance in the lower decks.

>>22117679
Two of them frequently join in the card games held in the crew hold

>>22117688
its basicly a one-ship-spacehulk at this point, fully equipped with a genestealer cult with many followers in the higher ranks.

Contrary to certain belief, the captain has no interest in men.

That Slaaneshi Preacher sadly learned that too late.

>>22117717
Everyone knows exactly who the genestealers on the ship are.

>>22117722
exactly, not men. She only likes young boys. Male boys, but not men.

>>22117717
The Genestealer cult is a little bit confused though, since their Magus was killed by a Wych. They just want to steal pants and drink amasec these days.

The ship once drew to a close orbit around a feral planet

The human population of the planet worship it as a god to this day

>>22117732

As much as you seem to want traps and pedophilia, it seems pretty clear that the Captain is a massive lesbo.

>>22117737
which gives the ship substantual influence in the warp, where it is dealt as a minor warp-deity

>>22117752
That's why she has that Slaneeshi preacher's dick.
It's actually a dildo.

According the the techpriests, the ships true name is "Mittens"

The cult of the Slaaneshi Preacher the Captain castrated have sworn revenge. Their own pirate ship is a bitter rival to this ship.

>>22117761
Well, it wasn't always. Before she cut it off, it accidently was encased in super-heated metal which then cooled. This of course happened when the preacher was still alive.

Their fight was pretty epic, all things considered.

The ship has a very severe Ghilliam problem.

>>22117765
because of this, and his hatred of brosister slaanesh, grandfather nurgle has sent a great unclean one to aid our ship.

the unclean one has OCD

Like many larger ships, many areas are controlled by "Ship Clans". However, most of the clans engage in scrumball tournaments with each other, which has led to massive inter-clan rivalry and violence.

A certain Inquisitor has tried to track down the ship due to massive heresy, but is always just one step behind.

>>22117790
The Unclean One is also very clean because of said OCD. The less "liberal" of the crew believe him to be a huge obese Ogryn wearing horns, as "Surely there could never be a Daemon of that caliber on a ship of the Emprah!"

>>22117808
oooh, a inquisitor! He is an absolute puritan

Alongside the great unclean one, there is also one rubric marine and a khornate daemon on the ship

Again, no one seems to care

>>22117765
The Slaaneshi preacher has been resurrected by Slaanesh into a woman. The only way he can return to his form, is if he gets his dick back. If he manages to convert entire ship to Slaanesh, then he get's to be daemon princess.

>>22117830
Everyone seems to think the Rubric Marine is simply a extremely high quality Servitor, and the Khornate Daemon spends much of his time at the Scrumball games.

>>22117830
the khornate daemon is a khornate daemonette

>>22117830
the khornate daemon has lost all of its limbs in combat with the inhabitants of the ship

It now spends its time in a small storage alcove, thrashing about violently whenever something living is close by

>giant ship
>severeal km in length, width and height
>propulsion system able to push that giant mass through space
>system that, if need be, is able to rip a hole into reality for the purpose of faster than light travel
>life support system that is able to keep the crew alife and well for many months
>cannons have to be loaded manually
why

>>22117879
>>22117868
>>22117889
it seems we all jumped on the khornate daemon

The brain of a Ork warboss was implanted into the weapons systems of the ship, alongside one boy-brain into each individual weapon, thus making them using the power of WAAAAAGH!! and wishful Orkthinking and granting them almost unlimited ammo as well as functionality even with the greatest damage

>>22117904
Perhaps I should have just stuck with the rubric marine...

>>22117891
>>22117422

the documentation claims that the ship was secretly equipped with 'Auto-Loaders' by a Heretek Magos who was only recently discovered of being a Heretek

>>22117891
Because it's 40k. And 40k is retarded.

>>22117906
That's not how the waagh! field works god damnit.

>>22117904
it looks like we have limbless a khornate daemonette who spends the majority of its time playing scrummball or thrashing about in a storage closet

Or we could take a vote

>>22117927
yeahitis

>>22117931
I vote out limblessness

I also propose that the khornate daemonette is, somehow, pregnant

>>22117931

voting for khornate daemonette who spends the majority of it's time playing scrummball.
but it still has it's limbs, but has Hemophobia

>>22117931
easy: bionic arms and legs, storage closet is its living quarter. done

>>22117952
ok, how about it just has one arm?

Or no limbs still, and they use it for the ball in scrumball, its still pregnant

>>22117969
as long as the bionics are orky

>>22117989

one is orky, one is living metal, one is tau and the other is actually a ripper

>>22117989
well who do you think builds the bionics on this ship?

>>22117926
>>22117891

Because that specific piece of technology has been lost and the Mechanicus can't replicate it.

>>22118009
The OrkMech of course!

>>22118027

making new things are Heresy. the old ones work well enough.

>>22118027
also, grimdark exploitation of shortlived reloading crewmen is fucking awesome in a grimdark way

>>22117825

The Inquisitor was on the ship once. He was so horrified by his experience that he has vowed to destroy this abominable vessel. The problem is, he is also a coitophobe.

>>22118038
there you go theN!

The ship tends to favour firing the macrocannons on the right side of the ship during battle.

The shipclan that manages the left side macrocannons is a little bit over-inbred, and tends to mutate themselves by using home-made tanning beds.

>>22117952
I remember a movie once where the personification of rage was pregnant. It was generally an extraordinarily shitty movie, but I always found that funny.

>>22118051
he, and all of his (substantual) following are eunichs, but they never talk about it. Also, he has a bunch of favors due in the IG

The ship is slowly slipping out of the captain's grasp into the hands of Chaos. If it weren't for Gork and Mork, the ship would fall into Warp faster than a speeding bullet.

Quite a large number of Orks are held in stasis chambers to be used as boarding parties in fights.

The Captain's name (at least as she gives it), is Victoria Mandrake. Aside from her love of women, she is also known for her dominance in the bedroom. She has a very nice bedroom, come to mention it. She spends most of the loot on keeping it looking nice, as opposed to investing in proper bilge maintenance, for example.

>>22118110
The benefit of this is that the ship is remarkable adroit at quickly navigating the warp

>>22118110
whats gork n mork to do with it?

>>22118137
There lots of orks on the ship, not to mention one acts as ship's weapons system.

>>22118126
non-submissive women have a tendency of disapearing when they reach the higher ranks.

The symbol of the Mechanicus on the prow of the ship has been modified, to give it an eyepatch and a pirate hat.

>>22118149
if I understood correctly, a lot of Orks are the weapons system. Or what? Have I misunderstood?

>>22118164
unknown parties also added a twirly mustache and blacked out some of the teeth

The poor young Astropath is called Queria Quesnelle. She would not mind being dominated by the Captain, but she is always invariably overlooked or accidentally ignored.

>>22118178

And a cigar at a jaunty angle.

>>22118170
That's what typing fast and barely checking afterwards gets you.
There's an ork warboss' brain implanted into weapons system.>>22117906
There's a kroot lunchlady.>>22117541
And loads of other orks on the ship:
>>22117554
>>22118115

Second in command is a hulking man at least 8 feet tall, and looks not unlike Freddie Mercury on 'roids. He also, at least if you ask him, not a space marine and is also a womanizer, like the captain.

They have been known to discuss the finer points of female anatomy and go on pub crawls together.

>>22118210
ah alright, the systems are one ork, and every weapon has one boy. Gotit.

oh yeah, the inquisitor has a spy on the ship, a pansexual former member of the Officio Assassinorum

As mentioned, the Seneschal of the ship is actually an Eldar, called Hiniread Taxcounter. He is a poor soul who took it upon himself to walk the less than popular Path of the Accountant and became lost upon it. He spends most of his days looking nebbish and crunching the loot numbers.

>>22118215
His name is FRANK MANLYFIST, and he wears massive stomping boots, IG pants, suspenders, and no shirt. Some say he is from Catachan, some say he is a disgraced Space Wolf. But everyone says he makes the best damn booze this side of the sector.

Has been known to act EXTREME. as in SURFING A MACRO CANNON SHELL WHILE WIELDING NOTHING BUT HIS FISTS.

>>22118246
>Eldar
How? There're two daemons on ship, a rubric marine and a penis of a Slaaneshi preacher.

>>22118234
An eversor

>>22118283
ALSO!
HE FOUGHT A BEAR!

>>22118285
Who gets high with the Dark Eldar more often then he should.

File: 1355935229745.jpg-(234 KB, 600x890, Thus a new age was born.jpg)

>>22118215
>>22118283
>>22118293

>>22118283
His 4-foot-tall, horrendously skinny, wimp of a son is also on the ship

Dennis Manlyfist is everything his father hoped he wouldn't be

>>22118284
He's too busy to notice.

>>22118246
>>22118336

Well, and if he did notice, he's too wimpy to do anything about it. He is often the butt of Frank Manlyfist's jokes.

>>22118336
he is REALLY busy. Thanks to him, the taxes of the ship(and every crewmember) are always sorted out and minimized within the boundaries of the legal system. The administratum has very good relations to our rogue trader ship.

>>22118343
I say he is far too MANLY to be playing jokes on people unless it involved a good fight! Instead I vouch the Eldar fellow is simply jaded beyond belief of the shenanigans onboard the ship, seeing as he has to do the paperwork for such things as

>Report: Second-in-Command Frank Manlyfist missing after somehow riding a Lascannon beam onto a hostile ship, believed to be back on board but is boxing Ogryns in the "PIT OF FISTICUFFS"

Somewhere there's a necron on the ship. And he's very very lost.

I want to play an entire dark heresy campaign just on this ship

the spy of the inquisitor is trying to get information out of the captain through seducing her, not realizing her sexual inclination.

>>22118438
She however, has realized that he's a spy, and cunningly diverts his sexual advances onto other hapless members of the crew.

>>22118426
Wouldn't you be playing Rogue Trader then?

>>22118462
No, I don't want to play as the proper crew, I want tyo play as a hapless guardsmen lost in the bowels of this insane vessel

>>22118320
Dennis is the one who impregnated the khornate daemonette

>>22118522
The daemonette is dominant.
Dennis is submissive.

>>22118534
and to the daemonette again, Frank is dominant (yeah, he is that extreme, he can turn a Khorne-daemonette from dom to sub), but he doesnt know he's pushing the lady who's carrying his sons baby

There's a Squat janitor who is seen in the restrooms on the lower floors.

>>22118582
he has disappeared from the higher floers due to unknown causes

>>22118582
no records of him exist, he isn't paid

no one knows why he cleans, but it is whispered in the shadows it is for a foul purpose

>>22118582
He has seen shit, even great Nurgle daemon would be ashamed of.

>>22118570
There's no such thing as a Khorne daemonette that's not submissive.

>>22118621
she has a ork tech, necron living metal, tau tech, and a tyranoid ripper for each limb

she does what she wants

Until frank shows up

>>22118621
while I agree with you, she is dominant to dennis, isnt she

>>22118640
>she does what she wants
And what she wants is being dominated, inherently, because that's what khornettes want.

>>22118643
No, bro, she ain't.

>>22118616
namely the shit of the great unclean one

>>22118640
>Until frank shows up

this shit is amazing

>>22118654
I'm afraid yyour statement is against the specific rules of worldbuilding

>Everyone posts statements that become canon about said ship, as long as they are not contradictory to previous statements.

Due to the Warp taint, ship's navigation system is borked. When it asks "Where do you want to go?", it means where do you WANT to go. Example: captain needs to go restock on supplies, but she is horny. Ship goes to secret lesbian planet.

>>22117641
>>22117644
>>22117635

You mean a hair squig, right?

>>22118682
>she is a khorne daemonette

there you have your contradictory statement

>>22118736
eat shit fun hater

>>22118730
There's a secret lesbian planet in the Tiji sector? How do I unlock that route?

>>22118655
There is actual a horrific creature of Nurgle living in the Bilge. Every night, the Squat Janitor does epic battle with it.

>>22118643
It's impossible for Dennis to NOT be submissive.

Those who have communed with the ships machine spirit (aka "Mittens") report it being... "special".

>>22118736
Would khorne daemonette be dominant instead?

>>22118775
Then there's going to be a problem, because the same thing is true of khornettes.

>>22118405
He's lost because his image processing went bonkers, but he's fine with that - he's sure he'll manage until he finds a reputable Cryptek on this tombship somewhere.
He's not in a hurry, and has a veritable labyrinth full of curious artifacts on his person.

He's fine with lending them out to fine Necrontyr chaps, so long as they promise to keep them pristine and send them back in an eon or two.

>>22118768
the Nurgle entity would overtake the ship if not for the janitors continued intervention

There are multiple instances of similar equilibriums around the ship

>>22118801

and this is why she is carring his child.
they both want to follow the other, so they do what they think the other wants, therefore accidentlying true love...

>>22118792

impossible.

>>22118784
There are rumors that it dates to one of the Dark Ages of Technology, when mankind still experimented with Abominable Intelligences.

Ship's dogma insists that animals possess meaningful warp souls, though, so it gets a pass on a technicality as an upload.

Its dark secret is that it, in fact, never was an actual being of flesh and blood, but rather, is an AI seeded from an even then ancient relic database, known to martian archives only as 101C4T5.

>>22118813
In fact, the entire ship is constantly on the brink of simply exploding into a warp storm, due to the strain all these demons are causing on the poor warp core.

The ship of the Slaaneshi cultists that constantly hounds this ship is possessed by a Daemon of Slaanesh, being covered in hideous tentacles. It once got it's hands on "Mittens" - the good ship escape, of course, but not without having some rather lewd graffiti stuck on its hull.

>>22118979
Veto.
That's so dumb it doesn't even register.

>>22118768
Wait... Luke is in the bilge?

>>22119012
Have you been reading the rest of this thread? That is one of the more sensible things on here.

Not that I'm complaining.

The Temple to the Emperor on the ship was removed to make room for a waterpark.

>>22119012
no veto. In fact, only gork'n'mork are holding it together seeing as there are a fair share of Orks on the ship, and they do it by fending of the four Gods in-warp, where they want to consume our ship because, remember, the ship is a small chaos god.


There is nothing stupid here, you twat

>>22119066
GL, HF, I'm out of here.

>>22119050
The priest(the tau) has moved his church into the bowls of the ship, into a storing room for all kinds of Xeno-artifacts, including a series of stasis chambers of unknown origin

>>22119012
I Veto the Veto.

The Ship has plagued the Tiji sector for quite a long time now. Most infamously, it is said to have some relics somewhere stolen from Ferrum Sanctimonia itself.

I heard during a particularly rough Warp Passage, a Daemoette of Slaanesh appeared in the Captain's bedchambers, hungry for slaughter.

They say the Captain made it her bitch before it ended up slinking back to the Warp in shame.

>>22119156

That's nothing, I heard Frank Manlyfist punched all the blood out of a bloodletter.

>>22119182
Thats nothing, I heard Frank Manlyfist won a stare-off with the eye of terror

The Ghilliam on the ship have a Union.

>>22119273

I heard Frank Manlyfist is a great singer.

>>22119285
I heard Frank Manlyfist sing once. It was so wonderful, now I'm deaf.

>>22119285
Of course he is. Haven't you been to the ship's karaoke nights?

>>22119143
By relics, are you sure you don't mean the Captain just store various pieces of swimwear and undergarments belonging to the Adeptus Sororitas?

>>22117347
The exodite eldar don't number many, but they actually have filled a whole small section of the ship with dirt, and set up their own World Spirit.

>>22119276
The only job the Ghilliam actually DO is "Not accidently let the Hullghasts get everywhere."

>>22119368
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDckgX3oU_w

Except in space and more EXTREME

>>22119905

Frank Manlyfist once destroyed a Bloodthirster of Khorne, the battle perfectly synched up to "Don't Stop me Now"

>>22119945
Let's not forget about the time Frank Manlyfist organized and directed a rendition of "Bohemian Rhapsody" featuring every one on board. Even the Purple Ork was there, but his voice kind of blends in.

The Augmetic Eye on the frontal Crest (the heavily vandalized AdMech symbol) is actually a functional lance.

File: 1355945101571.gif-(855 KB, 320x240, METAL.gif)

Frank needs a rival on the other ship. I'm thinking a Black Metal type guy who's all "Chaos undivided" and is also ludicrously over the top. Would that maybe make him more Slaneesh based? humm...

The Captain is noted to be one of the best swordmasters in the Tiji Sector.

>>22120238
It IS a Slaaneshi ship that is trying to get their leader's penis back.

File: 1355946240665.gif-(926 KB, 499x240, Art.gif)

>>22120238
MORBIS BLACKSPLOSION, the hulking chaos-tainted rival to Frank Manlyfist!

He's a Chaos Undivided dude, although is going more and more to Slaanesh. Has superhuman strength despite being rather thin, at least by Space Marine standards Always has his guitar/chainblade/bolter/lascannon/sonic weapon, uses it TO THE MAX
Dressed in BLACK METAL TYPE CLOTHES, big pants with cahins, combat boots, a black "wifebeater" AND HUGE SPIKEY PAULDRONS.
Uses horrible puns, and speaks like Nathan Explosion

Basically Pic related but HUGE and with HUGE PAULDRONS

>>22120520
Chains on his pants, not whatever "cahins" are. derp I cannot into proofreading.

>>22120204
The mouth can also open up and spit torpedos.

I heard the Captain's actually a Sister Repentia, but went and became a pirate rather than take the Oath. I also heard she was sentenced to Repent for some rather lewd indiscretions with someone with a lot of power.

The Shaper of the Kroot Kindred on board 'The Sister's Lust' is Kar'Rot. She is certainly an odd one, and some of her kroot grumblingly comment that she is more obsessed with the spiritual side of being a Shaper than with the role of leadership and fighting. Her Kroot kindred has become rather a bizarre one under her leadership, consuming mostly granola and tofu. While this has made them very easy to manage, it cannot be said to have done much for their combat ability - they much prefer to sit around smoking strange herbs and playing music.

There's an incessant beeping in the lower decks. Nobody can trace it to its origin and it keeps beeping.

Beep.... Beep..... Beep.... Beep....

>>22121522
Must be that necron:>>22118405

As they rounded the luminous planet, the ship came into view. A nice, slow moving transport - and from the looks of it, one with a rich owner.

"We'll be on their augers now."

Captain Victoria Mandrake cut an imposing figure, with her corset, blades and impressive hat. Her cabin, located above the bridge, was equally as ostentatious.

Frank nodded, standing up and putting down his glass of amasec. Soon there would be boarding. And with boarding, came punching.

>>22122236
The attack came swift and brutal. The victim ship had little chance to escape with its slower engines.

On the lower decks, crewmen cowered as there came the mighty cacophony signaling another ship smashing aside it, clamping on and preparing to board.

And boarded they were. The first strikes were near the engines. The armsmen opened fire as a muscular, mustachioed man burst from the haze of the breaching charges. Lasbolts sizzled harmlessly on her perfect abs, as he charged forwards. With one mighty punch, he put a massive hole in the head of the armsman sergeant. With a followup, he smashed through a bulkhead, opening the way for the fearsome crew to follow.

Please some one archive this.

>>22123687
Seconding this. I'll vote for it when I get off work, since navigating chanarchive on my phone is a bitch.

Contrary to popular belief, the ship does not contain enough dakka.