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Fuck, wrong pic.

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YOU FUCKED WITH THE SPACE TIME CONTINUUM! YOU FOOL THAT WAS THE ONE THING I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO!

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Warhatter 40,000. In the grim dark future of the 41st millenium, there is only millinery.

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>>wearing hats
>>not motorcycles
Do you even time travel?

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Tell us more.

Rolled 10

>>22098308
Emprah Gaben happened

>>22098308
Clearly this future is still 40k because importance is signified by the size of the hats, however due to the time paradox cause by your group member they're the wrong hats.

The future has gone terribly wrong and it's up to you and your companions to right the future so this hat travesty does not come to pass.

Stop playing with Gabe Newell

>>22098308
inb4 shitstorm

Rolled 14

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZouYNu3Z6k
feels appropriate

>>22098308
SEE!?
THIS IS WHY TF2 CROSSOVERS ARE NOT FUNNY!

>>22098308
Why can't I stop laughing

Gaben isn't the hat guy, Robin Walker is.

Rolled 18

>>22098434
Walker is the Gulliman of the setting to Gaben's Emprah
The real question is, Who're the chaos gods?
Maybe the CEO of EA as one?

>>Inquisitor just walked into the room
>>It's a german shepard
>>Wearing a stetson with a -][- badge of the side
>>GM looks and sounds super srs the whole time
No, really. wat

>>22098308
Your GM is cool

>>22098391
How about a hat worth fighting for?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3BWR8nbskc

>>22098450
>It's a german shepard
... Huh?

>>22098450
your GM is bringing all of the best movie tropes of all time into your game, you better enjoy the hell out of this/

>It's a german shepard
I hope you mean he has a funny accent and a flock of sheep.

>>22098472
they are the smartest breed of dog

>>22098308
>>"no time to explain"
>>time traveler

>>22098450
SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH THE UNIVERSE

>>22098476
That makes sense- I think that's what we'll have to blindly assume, no matter what anyone says to the contrary.

>>22098486
I would think that going back in time, at least in 40k, should make everything more stable, not less. On the other hand, this was a Tzeentchian artifact.

Rolled 7

>>22098484
ask your GM about Emprah Gaben

>>22098308
>>He kills the child version of himself because he's sure it's an illusion
Why would you even....

>>22098504
>daemons of Chaos are screwing with your mind
>attacking the illusion could probably disperse it
>swing sword at child-you that is doing whatever to you
>sword hits flesh and bone instead of empty nothingness
It's not hard to envision.

>>22098484
>Here's your explanation.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkMaxdhzzMw

>>Just realised that we're replaying last week's session
>>Going through the jungle in a chimera
>>Chimera is a half-track but stranger things have happened
>>Suddenly shouts from the undergowth
>>Remember the guerilla ambush and unleash my flamer into the undergrowth
>>Take out three gorillas
>>Guerilla Gorillas

>>22098504
The Warp and the Great Enemies of Mankind seek to destroy humanity and deceive us, that's probably why.

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>>22098524
>Guerilla Gorillas

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>>22098524

>>22098524
I think you just erased the human race because obviously you were the most important person on the planet

>>Mid-fight, Mid sentance, the GM suddenly starts reading a different script where we wake up in a medical bay.
>>Try to stand up
>>Can't
>>Call medical staff
>>Turn around and gorilla
>>Back in the jungle and there's twice as many gorillas

I just found an open bag of rainbow popcorn next to my chair IRL. GM is still completely serious.

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>>22098611
>>Mid-fight, Mid sentance, the GM suddenly starts reading a different script where we wake up in a medical bay.
Clearly you've broken something timey-wimey.

By the way, I'm mad jelly over here.

>>22098524
>OP's group is experiencing the legendary might of the long thought lost primate art of Gorilla Warfare.

I feel sorry for you poor lads.

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>>22098611
I, I don't even...

This sounds like, it's both equally awesome and silly and terrible.

>>22098484
>>22098516
Actually here is the better explanation
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkXeiSqp-Qs

>>22098611
Don't open the boxes OP. They've got undead cats in them.

>>22098611
All of your characters are in reality insane
The GM is playing midn tricks with you

>>22098707
>At the end of the campaign the God-Emperor shudders his last breath and it turns out you were all just figments of his DMT-induced dreams.

Couldn't update because my iPod went missing after my last post. As in, it was right there and then it was gone. Anyway,
>>Share the popcorn around
>>One of the players finds a Barbie head at the bottom of the packet
>>Looking at me like I'm crazy
>>I look at the DM like he's crazy
>>DM scarfs down a handful of popcorn
>>Half the gorillas are dead
>>Suddenly the psyker is told that she is in pain and she spots a man standing at the edge of the clearing
>>When the Guardsman says he's firing at the man the GM looks at him like he's crazy
>>"What man? There's no man here. There's nothing at all. You're alone in a small spartan room. It's getting smaller. You fire at the gorilla as it jumps out of the undergrowth *rolls* turning its head into a bloodied mess..."
>>Fight goes on, GM begins to get louder.
>>As he begins to shout a man walks into the room with a bottle of Mount Franklin
>>Oh, and he's wearing a green morphsuit
>>Doesn't react when talked to, GM doesn't even look at him
>>Fight continues, more gorillas, Acolytes miraculously regenerate a couple of wounds
>>Woman runs out of the crowd with a knife
>>Tackled by men in grey scrubs, never mentioned again
>>Tech-Priest discovers he no-longer has his mechandrite installed
>>Fight is coming to an end, GM gets quieter with every gorilla that we kill
>>When we finish the last gorilla the GM flips his table sideways
>>Dice, books and notes go flying
>>GM continues like nothing happened:
>>"You wake to find yourself in the medical bay once more as a medical servitor stands over you. It is injecting something into you."
>>"They're waking up, Inquisitor."
>>Session ends

Now THIS is how you simulate insanity for your players.

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>>22098828

>>22098828
halp

Silence will fall.
You've just destroyed time-lock. What did you expect, huh?

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>>22098828
wat...

wat!

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>>22098828
Is your GM by any chance Doomrider?

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your GM is amazing

>>22098308
>fedora

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>>22098987
>Everyone else's GM suddenly feels inadequate

It's clearly an alternative future in which the 40k IP was bought by valve and is now free2play...

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>>22098828
>>"What man? There's no man here. There's nothing at all."

>>Fight goes on, GM begins to get louder.
>>As he begins to shout a man walks into the room with a bottle of Mount Franklin
>>Oh, and he's wearing a green morphsuit

>>"They're waking up, Inquisitor."

>>22098999
I'll admit... I'm a GM and I am starting to feel a tad inadequate. I'm a good story teller but I do not have a talent for this kind of fuck-all-crazy.

>>22099014
I don't see what the problem is. Just relax and start being fun instead of trying to make them understand everything.

>Send the players into a time-traveling adventure.
>Begin to have them randomly sliding around in the time stream, even having them replay old adventures.
>At random intervals cut into another scene, sometimes stopping mid-sentence when describing the old scene.
>Invite random people to walk into the room while playing and ignore the extras like they're not there.

Well, I have some great ideas now for the Spirit of the Century game I'm going to run.

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>>22099023
It's hard to make consistently amusing mindfuckery. You need just the right dose of reality and stupidity

Archived
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/22098308/

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>>22099041
>Thread with pony image in the OP archived
And on that day there was peace

>>22099023
The only problem is you can't do crazy like this on a constant basis. If you do the players will get tired of it after a session or two and it will get annoying. Also it is hard to plan out stuff like the morph suit guy and flipping the table over. it's too easy to have a player flip out and do something stupid.

I always treat myself as the shepherd of a flock of really easily spooked and suicidal sheep.

>>22098999
This honestly makes me want to take up GM'ing since I feel that I'll either just have my players just confused for the entire session or just having the time of their lives, either way this kinda madness seems my style

>>22099052
>plan out
That defeats the purpose. Let go. Just do things. Spend twenty minutes exploring things in the most minute detail and have them never come up again. Make things happen for no reason.

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>>22099070
Some day I will GM something
But I need to play first
Just once

>>22099079
Yeah, with the players I normally deal with one of them will flip out or hurt themselves. I have had to move towns and really miss my core group, those guys would have been up for something like that.

>>22099105
It sounds like your new group needs it more than your old group would appreciate it.

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>Ponies
>On /tg/
>Get archived
>Filename
>Pic

>>22099144
>>Thinks thread is about ponies
>>OP has nothing to do with ponies
>>First post is: "Fuck, wrong pic!"

>>22099052
>I always treat myself as the shepherd of a flock of really easily spooked and suicidal sheep

You are doing it right

>>22099052
But are you German?

>>22099191
Basically make them think they have as many choice in the world, that they can go where ever and do what ever they want... but always have their choices lead down the avenues I have put forth. They think their choices matter, they think it affect the campaign... it doesn't.

Maintaining this illusion helps make them enjoy themselves. As I said before though, this is which my new group, I wouldn't try that shit with my old group, they knew me too well and knew how to fuck my campaigns over. I actually gave them long reaching choices "sigh" I miss them.

>>22099181
There's a checkbox on the bottom of every page that allows you to delete a picture you've posted. It was deliberate.

>>22099210
As I said, you need to make them grow. You're coddling them. Trial by fire and all that.

>>22099222
Loads of people DONT KNOW THIS
Besides, an OP without a picture makes the thread look stupid

>>22099232
I'm afraid I'd break one, though I see your point. I am running a horror campaign with them at the moment (I actually have a story of what happened to them if anyone would like to see). Horror is one of the better genres to do "Oh God Random" in. However unlike OP in which it was funny, I am going to do this to terrify the living shit out of them.

/tg/ if one of my players ends up in the hospital... I'm blaming you.

Oh my god, I know what kind of batfuck crazy to pull on my payers. at a certain point in my DnD campaign.

>>22099242
He wasn't fit for life.

>>22099250
Maybe he was too fit for life and ascended?

>>22099250
>>22099282
So my players when we left last session have just discovered they are being targeted by a group of ghosts, who have been abducting the friendly NPC's. They already have a ghost girl who follows around their party and occasionally curls up in their bed rolls (she died of hypothermia and wants to keep them warm). They communicate to this girl through a mirror, she writes on it in condensation.

I'm going to have it so that the players go to sleep one night in the forest, and when they wake up to their tents shaking, the ghost girl curled up next to one of them (both the NPC's who stayed up to guard them having been taken like the others). When one of them opens the tent they see the mirror floating above the snow with the words "that's not me" written on it.

At that point I am I going to have someone cut the power to the lights in the room, turn on a light outside the fogged glass windows, and begin tapping on the glass. I'll try to get as many people as possible so it can be like 6-8 hands on the window doing this.

Then the lights are going to turn on and I'll act like nothing is going on, except now I will have a mirror with me, and I will be smiling a sickly crazy smile.

Wish me luck one and all.

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>>22099323
>Communicating with the little girl
Wrong, wrong, wrong
Sounds mighty cool though, albeit cheesy if you can't build up the right mood in time

>>22099374
Trust me, these guys are easily spooked as I said. I don't even have to try hard to get them into the "I'm about to shit my pants" mood. One NPC seeing ghosts they can't, going insane, screaming and what not. Sounds from the forrest that disappear when they try and get near them, then not being able to find their camp. Crazed laughter from the trees. NPC's slowly turning their heads 360 degrees. All the shit what wouldn't work on most people get these guys in a dirt road mood.

>>22099389
That is like the blandest shit possible. I swear, you gotta let me run a campaign by them.

>>22099323
>When one of them opens the tent they see the mirror floating above the snow with the words "that's not me" written on it.

Who's not her? The tents shaking? The girl curled up with the other one?

>>22099402
I'm afraid of trying anything more adventurous with them for fear of breaking them. My quest "Old Man River" (which consisted of a combination of evil cult and evangelion instrumentality, but with a river instead of tang) was almost too much for them.

All it consisted of was gruesome descriptions, a slowly disappearing town, evil fog... you want to see the story (it's a tad long, but could shed some light on how easily spooked these guys are).

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>>22099421
Well that's the best part

>>22099430
One thing I always wanted to do with the little ghost girl was make her creepy and suspicious as possible, but in the end, it turns out she was the only friendly face they had. If they take to long to figure it out I imagine everyone would die. Especially if they decide to actively oppose her advice.

>>22099430
Are they teenagers or something?

>>22099430
Oh, and yeah, please do post the story. I'll probably go to sleep though so I won't be able to read it all until evening.

>>22099421
What ever is curled up in the sleeping bag with the character is not actually her. Or at least that's what it really means. The players can take it however they want, I left it unclear on purpose.

Ok everyone, get ready for some fucking story time (warning, this is really fucking long... be prepared for a long hall. I'll wait like a minute or two between postings so you guys don't get all bogged down)


In the party we have:
a Wizard
a Bard
a Fighter/Warlock multi class
a Battlemind
and a Druid


Without further ado this is the first story I put them through, the quest for which I titled “Old Man River”

My players had entered a small town clinging to the edge of a river. Only a few muddy roads lead up a small slope towards the forest. They were all planning on heading to the closet large city (the players had played with me before, and knew the setting fairly well) in hopes of finding creepy things there. Once they entered the small town they thought it would be a quick pit stop along for the rest of their journey. Once they passed the watchtower one of them noticed something odd. The town could not have had a population larger than a few hundred, but they had a hangman’s scaffold with over twenty nooses. They thought this was just me going “Ooooo… spooky… people get hanged.” They were right, in a way.

They all headed over to the local inn to rent a room and get a meal for the night. Upon sitting down they looked around to see if anything interesting was going on. I told them no, just a normal inn. A lot of men looking dirty from the mines, coal dust covering their faces. It didn’t occur to any of them at the time that a small riverside village wouldn’t have any mines to speak of. They decided to talk to the inn keeper to get their rooms. He told them that all the rooms were full, but they could make themselves comfortable in the hay loft out back for half price, and it would at least be a place out of the rain. Oh yeah, forgot to mention in the first post. It had been raining heavily since they got here, enough so that the muddy streets flowed down the banks towards the river.

>>22099474
Just post the link to the story on the archive. Don't post the whole thing again!

>>22099484
I didn't archive the thread on suptg... so no luck there. I could post a link to a google doc or something, but them most people wouldn't actually read it most likely.

>>22099491
If you posted it here, both warosu and foolz archive /tg/, among other boards.

>>22099491
>>22099511
http://fuuka.warosu.org/tg/thread/S22067415

And I hate you for not already knowing this, by the way.

>>22099511
>foolz
Excellent

http://archive.foolz.us/tg/thread/22074007/

There is the archive, thank you for introducing me to this wonderful site.

>>22099445
A group of girls, apparently.

>>22098477
Not really, though.
Pretty sure border collies are smarter. And papillons.

GUISE! What if Tzeentch didn't actually send them back in time, but just sent them to the Warp, and that's just what being in the Warp is like?