Also! You're welcome to pick Malal or Undivided as well, provided you give reasons as to why that fits your real-life character and personality. Go nuts!

This is a bit of an experiment to get ideas for characters and homebrews, I admit. I want to revel in your brainstorming.

I choose Necoho the Doubter. Because fuck religion. And fuck logic.

Slaanesh would fit my personality most, but not in the tentacle-fuckery kind of way.
I like drink, good times and exess, and if id get a blessing, it would be the inability to feel hangovers (tougth i think this blessing belongs more to Nurgle ).
If the Gods are indeed "saturday morning chaos" and will not make me into a superjunkie, my life would be much the same, but with me in a lot better mood all the time.

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>>22010903
Old thread concept is old - but always fun.

Slaanesh would eat my ass, puns probably intended. This isn't because I am like "lol boobs" or at all really overly sexual (at least, not to my viewpoint). However, aspects of my personal tastes and temperament already tilt me in the Dark Prince's direction.

- I tend towards the excessive and theatrical, but with a heavy focus on the details....I am told my wardrobe is rather impractical, for example.

- On the other hand, I have a massive (diagnosed) case of OCPD, which means I am constantly driving myself insane with neurotic levels of obsessiveness and perfectionism.

These combined factors probably would give Slaanesh an easy in, I'd assume.

Continuing from >>22011127

I personally think that the key to being a "successful" worshiper of Chaos (rather than soon-to-be-food) is that the individual probably already had that sort of personality in the first place, so they weren't overwhelmed when Chaos started turning up the volume.

And I'd totes be aiming for Demonic Princehood. In the meantime, I'd really appreciate the ability to maybe manipulate people into funding my access a little better. Shit costs money. (Or maybe I just need to lower my scruples a little more?)

>>22011102
Also, let's hook up.

>>22011174
Why the fuck not, lets do this.

Also, not quite aiming for an ascension, just for a more pleasant existence before i get killed by a raging Khorne worshiper at the local bar. Hopefully Slaneesh likes more laid back types more than ambitious ones.

I think Malal would definitely fit me. I consider myself generally Undivided though.

I'm lazy, I don't shower for days unless I'm actually going out/having visitors over, I REALLY don't take loved ones' deaths well, I'm impulsive, I value honour, courage and honesty, I covet hope, I'm always trying to better myself, OCD on my own brand of perfectionism, Severe anger-management issues, Bizarre habits and thoughts, Sex-maniac, very indulgent, narcissistic to a degree.

I think I would embody all the gods but as you can see, I'm a walking contradiction, which is why I think ultimately I'm bound for Malal but not by choice (which is actually fitting, him being the rebel god). I'd imagine the gift I would recieve is the ability to see through all kinds of deception and the ability to change them if I so wish, with each god's chosen domains waxing and waning at random times.

>>22010903
>Which would you feel fits your person?
Slaanesh. Life is meant to be living and morality or ethics have nothing to do with it. I am generous, so I can share my pleasure with others.
>Which God would you choose?
Slaanesh
>What kind of blessing do you think you'd recieve
Ability to change my and others gender at will, because: autogynephilia.
>How would they change your life?
What do you think?

Bump

>>22011608
>> I'm lazy, I don't shower for days unless I'm actually going out/having visitors over, I REALLY don't take loved ones' deaths well, I'm impulsive, I value honour, courage and honesty, I covet hope, I'm always trying to better myself, OCD on my own brand of perfectionism, Severe anger-management issues, Bizarre habits and thoughts, Sex-maniac, very indulgent, narcissistic to a degree.

I don't actually see how most of these things are one god or another. "Lazy" could be because you're too busy indulging yourself, or because you'd rather manipulate minions into doing it, or because you don't think anything is worth the effort because you've got better shit to do, or because you don't think ANYTHING is worth the effort of doing. Not showering for days? Maybe you like to shock people, or are too busy with your "projects", or you like it, or you don't notice...all of which may or may not have anything to do with a personality trait that would be relevant to one of the Chaos gods. And so on. And, no offense, but this being the internet, I'm going to assume your descriptions of your "issues" as a bit exaggerated.

Doing normal variances of normal things that normal people do isn't enough to get the special attention of the Chaos Gods. You have to be off the bell-chart.

File: 1355349231118.jpg-(62 KB, 427x640, Paris fashion week.jpg)

Been wanting to use this pic in a Slaaneshi thread for a while now, so, uh...now's a good a time as any.

Nurgle, I would even be his champion.

Have a short list of my life wounds and sickness: Shot, stub, had an infection in my spinal cord, cure my self of a renal failure, have multiple bone fractures, been clinically dead, cervical malformations, one of my knees pops out from time to time, just to name a few.

Either Nurgle has a crush on me or I have a really high constitution bonus.

>>22012698
Goddamn, you either have bones made of glass, or you live in (and are) Catachan.

>>22012698
I would say you're a Nurgle-follower not just because you've had many health issues but for two major points: You're hardy/tenacious and you joke about it, meaning you take shit in stride with a jovial tone. That's true fucking Nurgle right there. It's not just "lolaids".

>>22012763
South America, to be fair is pretty much Catachan in some places.

Actually my bones are fine, just many accidents that well ended with broken bones.

Also, the minions of Nurgle need to spread despair. Being a filthy fuck is not a requirement, if you can influence it some other way.

Soo... can Tax collectors be counted as the servants of Nurgle?

>>22012792

How did you get shot? A stray las round from some lucky guarsman?

File: 1355350297038.jpg-(126 KB, 1000x750, sauerkraut.jpg)

Tzeentch all the way.
Can't wait to morph into a sac of gibbering, squealing, tentacles, eyes and mouths.

>>22012507
Well, I just have a particular FEELING that i'd get their attention. It might be because I have an inflated sense of self-importance or maybe I just have a great interest in philosophising about the Chaos Gods and the concept of Chaos beyond a tabletop game because it is an interesting concept with many possibilities. I also like to entertain the idea that such deities exist, purely for the sake of mind-food though. I don't actually worship chaos.

Really.

I don't worship Demons. Allah is greater.

>>22012912
So Khorne?

>>22012912
REVERSE HERESY

File: 1355350695667.jpg-(48 KB, 640x480, 1316720403466.jpg)

>>22012938
HAHAHA, OH WOW.

>>22012854
Kind of, at the shooting gallery an idiot was fooling around with his pistol and well he fire accidentally. hitting my left arm.

>>22012955
Thats some Tzeenchian dickery, definate proof you are a champion of the god of decay

File: 1355350886174.jpg-(38 KB, 405x720, 542797_165956933547543_13(...).jpg)

>>22012907
>>Really.

Oh, I feel ya. I spend way too much time giving fictional characters psychological evaluations, debating the theological merits of Warp entities, and arguing the preferred battle tactics of imaginary generals in imaginary battles. Probably more than I actually play.

>captcha: which psotion
I think the captcha is coming on to me.

>>22012993
Oh the wonders of the nervous system loving to share the same neural networks.

>>22010903
>Nurgle
>Slaanesh/Khorne
>As a boxer I'd like to receive something for my strength/stamina/durability
>I'd probably become more and more obsessed to develop the Perfect Punch

>>22010903
I would violently and vehemently denounce all four of them, because despite their power, and despite their few and moderate virtues, on the whole, they are, oh whats the word? Oh yeah......

FUCKING EVIL!

Either Khorne or Tzeentch. I find that I'm pretty honorable in a fight, but I'd kill to be able to throw a gout of dark fire at an enemy.

Hmm. Slaanesh works, as i enjoy imbibing alcohol and experimenting with drugs. However, i have 0 interest in sex except for fapping, so i don't know if it would appeal too much to me.
Nurgle would work because i am terribly terribly lazy and apathetic about things happening around me, but i have a very solid immune system but i do live in a measure of filth.
I am too disinterested in laws or, more correctly, too disinterested in breaking laws or being anarchic to please Malal. I am pretty neutral by my reckoning.
Khorne just won't work - i'm far and very much dislike physical activities. He'd look down on me and whine, but i don't care about that shizznits. Also, is this 40K Khorne or Fantasy? I do very much like honour and decency in battles, even in bloodbaths.

Tzeentch cause magic. Also prescience, so here I come lottery tickets, sport gambling and stock markets.

File: 1355352878272.jpg-(80 KB, 500x450, +_9e4136c06f181ba6e528cde(...).jpg)

Let's take this up a notch, guys:

If the Chaos gods were real, how many of you would be willing to lose a limb to one of them in exchange for dark boons? A hand, or an eye, or what have you?

Related question: how many of you would do it yourself?

>>22013424
Really REALLY depends on the boon in question, and depending on if there's secret flipsides to it. I don't know if i would go through ANY bargain with Tzeentch, but i could imagine sacrificing something to Nurgle, Slaanesh or maybe even Khorne. Depends on what i lose and what i gain.

>>22013424
The question is at least in my case. What has Nurgle to offer?

>>22013424
Noooo. Love myself to much to lose any part of me. Also, i have no need for superstrength, tentacles or the ability to shit fireballs.
Maybe id be willing to sacrifice hair and toenail clipings, but i bet the gods would take offence in that and cover me in snakehair

>>22013493
>snakehair

>>22013424
The Soul ain't enough for ya?

I fie on these descriptions of Chaos Undivided. You don't become Undivided by being sorta everything. You become Undivided by being everything, hard.

>>22013424
I honestly agree 100% with >>22013472 . As for doing it myself, that's entirely subject to which body part/limb.

I'd fit Malal the most probably. I'd go for him or Khorne though.

As for the dark boons, I'd be willin' to do it myself but I honestly doubt Malal'd give me anything cool.

>>22013424
I'd be willing to lose one eye, but not two unless I am still able to use a computer well.
Also don't want to lose my arms, because vidya. But I could still live with just the one, I'm fine with sticking to strategy games.
Other then that, I'm fine with anything.

>>22013424
Actually, it will depend completely on how many other people sacrifice their parts. If im the only jerkoff without tentacles or balls of adamantium, im not gonna last long.

soo. only as much as everybody else to not get shat on by superfreaks.

>>22013472
Although I somehow doubt you'd get to choose, I could totally see Tzeentch following through with his end of the deal. Poke out an eye for stock markets, I dunno. I'd just also assume it would have OTHER side effects that weren't mentioned.

>>22013493
What are you, thick? Snakehair sounds awesome.

>>22013520
No. Lern2Caos.

Rolled 1, 4 = 5

>>22013424
Yes. Tzeentch.
Rollan for boons.

>>22013586
Butt/pube-hair made of snakes is not awesome. Its animal cruelty

>>22013566
Weird, I have the completely opposite response. If the other cultists started all doing it, I'd be like "fuck you sheep" and keep my eyeball out of spite.

There was some line about that from Fulrgim, but I forget it now.

>>22013586
>I'd just also assume it would have OTHER side effects that weren't mentioned.
This is why i would not pick Tzeentch, unless i can somehow make him agree (Tzeentch doesn't straight out LIE in your face right? Just the underhanded does-not-mention-certain-bad-things type, right?) to a deal that will give me ONE boom/effect in exchange for ONE part. Like you said, poke an eye out to know what to go for on the stockmarket for the next week. However, if he subtly 'forgets' to mention that the stock market will collapse the second to last day, i'd be "ok" with that, as in that's technically within the agreements. But there's no chance i'd do if it if i can't get him to agree on very very specific effects on me and the people i care about.

File: 1355353734393.jpg-(44 KB, 529x559, Star of Chaos.jpg)

>>22013527
The whole concept that they are emotions given form. Thoroughly corrupt and perverted and yet can still embody good wholesome traits, because that's how emotions are. You can hate someone so much you feel you can go insane, you can loathe their very essence yet you can still sometimes find yourself admiring them and seeking their attention even if you think they are beneath you completely. Fictional or not, they represent an umbrella for embracing the myriad emotions and traits that make us human. Worshipping chaos is embracing your humanity.

By worshipping chaos, you're not letting yourself indulge in negative things 24/7, you'd simply be embracing them, instead of avoiding them. Worshipping human nature, embracing the myriad of possibilities you are capable of. Don't shy away from decadence, from violence, from hate, from rage, from spite, from lust, from jealousy. Embrace them just as much as you embrace things like love, altruism, kindness, generosity. The negative emotions don't make you less of a human, they make you a COMPLETE human. If anything, by NOT worshipping chaos, you are denying half of your nature, staying an incomplete individual. Imbalanced by choice.

This why I know more than you could possibly know.

>>22013636
>> and the people i care about.

P sure we hit on the reason why most cultists end up fodder. Those feels will get you nowhere, son.

>>22013688
Well i don't care about many people to be honest - it'd suck if a deal with Khorne backlashed and my mother died, but i could handle it. I wouldn't commit suicide or do anything drastic just because someone i knew died. I don't see much distinction between family and friends anyway.

>>22013652
Hi, Lorgar, welcome to /tg/.

Nurgle
I'm already a jolly fat fuck so not much would change
I'd probably give less of a fuck what people think and want so share my gift with everyone

>>22013709
Holy shit, I never actually noticed. That was more of what I had gleaned from a previous thread a while ago entertaining the thought that the Chaos Gods exist in the real world and don't have any power but DO govern emotion. We came to the conclusion that you can genuinely worship Chaos as a proper religion, as it's completely based on faith like all the rest AND that it take cues from LaVeyan Satanism, in that you're not worshipping SATAN but merely using him as a figurehead for worshipping yourself. In this regard, you're using the Chaos Gods as figureheads to simply group emotions up and worshipping all the highs and lows of human nature, embracing your potential.

But yeah, I guess you can say I'm a Word Bearer.

>>22013652
But seriously. Depending on whether we are using 40k universe or Chaos-in-our-universe, changes whether this is true or a lot of crap. Arguably, any massive amount of emotion could amass in the Warp and coalesce into a God, including positive emotions. In 40k terms, though, the universe is a shitty place and those weak gods/emotions get swallowed. The whole concept of "chaos is humanity just being itself!" is a line of bullshit fed to some of the more philosophically-inclined human dupes.

In now-world, depending on how cynical your view of existence is, it could be reasoned there are strong "good"gods out there in the warp.

>>22013652
Just because its human does not you should embrace it. Humanity is an unfinished product, and embracing it as perfection will just leave you vulnerable.
True, chaos can help succeed in areas otherwise undreachable by mere mortals, but it has many pitfalls. Its too random, to ficle to rely on and too much is just wasted on trivial bullshit.

>>22013790
Now don a robe, get an old wooden crate.
Find a street corner and spread the word.
We might be able to turn this into an actual religion.

>>22013808
Not as perfection
Just as sides of humanity we have to accept, it's in our nature

>>22013790
Glad to have helped you find your path, sir.

I suppose if a person right now did start "worshiping chaos" it would indeed be LaVey-esque. But I was looking at it more literally.

(I like poor ole' long-suffering Lorgar.)

>>22013823
In that i agree, but we must use our nature as a stepping stone, not as an eternal refuge.

>>22013802
Tzeentch is hope and still an asshole. Good emotions still become an inhuman extra dimensional being. Nurgle thinks what he's doing is kind for example.

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>>22013808
What >>22013823 said. It's not classing humanity as perfect, it's merely embracing your nature and your potential.

>>22013812
Maybe I could.... write a book.
>mfw

File: 1355354982616.png-(219 KB, 700x700, 1350282335427.png)

Just flipping through my random image folders...wanted to remind everyone we're having a philosophical discussion about these guys here.

>800 unutterable
Indeed.

>>22013907
Tzeentch should hide behind his screen with a Just As Planned face.

I know that's what i do half of the time my players decide to do something.

>>22013652
>corrupt and perverted
Gee I wonder why. I mean it's not like the Warp is a reflection of the Materium.

>>22013844
That's exactly what it must be, bro. Human nature includes what is probably our greatest ability: the ability to adapt.

>>22013841
Well, you could I guess. I mean shit, religion at it's core is based purely on faith. you could worship your left testicle as Lord and Saviour of all things coloured grey if you wished and believed in it.

I merely affix it to human nature LaVey style because I have trouble genuinely believing in deities. Using them as labels/figureheads for something that is concrete is easier for me personally, therefore PRAISE CHAOS in the HUMAN NATURE fashion.

I think Slaanesh fits my personality best. I'm something of a hedonist (though more in the sense that I work to feed my numerous hobbies than because I like sex), I'm an artist by trade, and I'm told I'm a bit of a perfectionist.

All this said, I would choose Tzeentch over Slaanesh. I value knowledge and overall sneakiness, and I'm always looking out for how things could be changed for the better. If I were to receive a blessing, I think I'd like an eye that gives me the supernatural ability to detect any kind of falsehood. Spoken lies, written lies, forgeries, all that shit. If it was very good, I would hopefully be able to detect indirect falsehoods as well (say, when somebody's trying to lure me into a trap in a game). As for how it would change my life, it would at the very least make me a damn good appraiser. The downside is that knowing the exact extent of how much people lie to each other on a daily basis might well drive me nuts. Especially if I read something like, "There is no alien technology nor alien remains at Area 51," and my super-eye started itching.

File: 1355355590194.jpg-(620 KB, 1274x828, noise_blasphemers_by_tort(...).jpg)

>>22013850
That doesn't really address my point. My point is that it's simply not true that the Chaos Gods are reflections/manifestations/whatever of aspects of humanity....not in 40k anyway. Additionally, while it may or may not be true that "worshiping chaos is embracing your humanity", it does not explain why embracing one's humanity is a good thing. Many philosophies teach the rejection of the past, of the old, of the primitive, in order to make ourselves more pure, or to grow, or to advance.

I want more answers.


>>22013901
>Maybe I could.... write a book.
Damn, you beat me to the joke.

>>22014022
>I read something like, "There is no alien technology nor alien remains at Area 51," and my super-eye started itching.

Oh man, that's fucking cool and shit-your-pants scary.

>Reading newspaper
>"Nibiru is a hoax"
>TWITCH
>Reading article on Lovecraft
>"Fiction"
>TWITCH
>Watching a movie
>"Supernatural horrors don't exist, man!"
>TWITCH
>Reading Cereal Box
>"Contains raspberries"
>TWITCH

File: 1355355952476.png-(1.64 MB, 1000x1040, 435197.png)

>>22013962
>>Well, you could I guess. I mean shit, religion at it's core is based purely on faith. you could worship your left testicle as Lord and Saviour of all things coloured grey if you wished and believed in it.

No no, I meant I was taking the thread literally. So I was making my judgements here within a framework of "proven existence of Chaos Gods", as per OP.

Frankly, I don't think of Warp Entities as "gods" anyway, they're just beings be haven't evolved proper senses to experience. Like, there are fish born in the deep sea with no eyes - does that mean light doesn't exist, or that we're invisible? Of course not.

>God of murder
>God of scheming
>God of disease
>God of pleasure

Simple, really.

>>22014047
That doesn't stop you from bettering yourself does it? I like to think my Chaos = Humanity religion concept would also be you embracing your failings, because they are also a product of your nature. We're flawed beings but have that certain spark that allows us to identify, acknowledge and surpass flaws within ourselves. It's genuinely embracing fucking everything to do with your potential, from your ugliest flaw to your most potent merit.

>>22014153
Are Chaos Gods even sentient?

>>22014181
If they were they should've swapped their Warmaster by now

>>22014181
Yes.

>>22014170
Yes, the god of murder is the only way to go.

>>22014153
So you WOULD actually worship the Chaod "Gods" as in proper entities that govern emotion in the real world?

I'd love to hear you explain your views.

>>22014175
The problem becomes then from the definiton of "humanity". If the concept of humanity itself is static, as in we only consider how we behave now as the only definiton of humanity, we will come to a point when the "human way" becomes obsolete or out-of-date. Treating it as something natural only encourages stagnation.

>>22014382
How do you suggest the theory be improved upon then? I really don't want this thread to lose momentum or die. This is interesting shit right here.

Bump, for this thread's potential to be even more awesome than it is now.

>>22014366
They don't govern emotion, though. They ARE emotion. That's why I asked whether they're sentient or not.

>>22013235

Yeah, no. The thing is that all of the "evil" characteristics you so "violently and vehemently denounce" have flipsides. Khorne is the god of martial honour and righteous war, Slaanesh is the god of improvement and love, Tzeench is the god of hope and change for the better, and Nurgle is the god of life as much as it is the god of death.

You sir, are a narrow minded buffoon.

>>22014366
>>So you WOULD actually worship the Chaod "Gods" as in proper entities that govern emotion in the real world?
>>I'd love to hear you explain your views.

To be honest, I'm undecided, if it were real. If we're keeping with 40k concepts, it seems that all deaths are shitty and end in being soul-swallowed by warp entities no matter what you do. The biggest exception is if you are a "successful" worshiper of Chaos, which will keep you "alive" in some way, so you'll retain some individuality...and continue to suffer for all eternity. Neither of these seems terribly pleasant.

But, I know many people fear oblivion far more than they do an afterlife. Non-existence, the complete loss of individuality, scares the piss out of some folks. So it seems reasonable that someone might seek to guarantee that doesn't happen.

(Also, I wouldn't say they "govern" emotions in the sense of "control" them. I think they "feed" on them and are "powered" by them, and can probably influence a sentient being. But we're making our own emotions.)

Nurgle or Slaanesh

Nurgle

Not sure, immortality, immunity to pain, the usual. Likely at the cost of either turn turning into a bloated bag of puss or a spindly set of walking bones with my flesh coming off. (I'd prefer the latter)

Not sure, I'm on the path to becoming a pathologist so it could go either way. I might have a generally more in tune understanding of the nature of disease

>>22014586
Ahhh, I see. Yes, the whole non-existence thing really sucks for any non-believer. Religious people face death with a smile and a genuine hope of better things to come. Definitely the selling point of any faith.

I see, so you'd worship them as entities that simply make use of your personal emotions as a power source. In that case, what if the power each "God" had was dependent on the individual? A person who heavily leans towards Khorne's emotions would rarely if ever get aid from Nurgle, Tzeentch or Slaanesh. Perhaps in this way, someone who made use of each and every emotion would be classed as Undivided, having the support of all 4.

Continuing >>22014586

But anyway, like I mentioned above, it seems like the vast majority of folks don't have the....strength of individuality? Maybe? Not sure what to call it. Most people are on the bell curve. Most people who attempt to attempt to follow Chaos get stopped. That's why the Primarchs in particular were so uniformly successful, because they were some unique individuals with strong personal identities and wills, combined with the capability to make their wills reality. That's what gets the Gods' attention. Humans can do it too, but being an evil dick isn't really enough - there's plenty of evil dicks around.

So really, if I was going to worship Chaos, let's say Slaanesh, I would start making my will - which is coincidentally pleasing to Slaanesh - manifest in the world. Daemonic Aescention seems to take a massive generation of emotional energy (death works well) to power, but also must be a proper "gift" of devotion to gain the God's favor. (Am I rambling?)

>>22014685
>>Ahhh, I see. Yes, the whole non-existence thing really sucks for any non-believer. Religious people face death with a smile and a genuine hope of better things to come. Definitely the selling point of any faith.

(What's funny is I actually have no fear of oblivion and don't understand what the big deal is. I'm not gonna know how much it sucks, because I won't exist. Perhaps that's why I'm still undecided.)

>>22014704
> Daemonic Aescention seems to take a massive generation of emotional energy (death works well) to power, but also must be a proper "gift" of devotion to gain the God's favor. (Am I rambling?)
Be Caligula. You'd become a daemon solely by being Caligula.
EASY MODE: Fap nonstop to the most perfect of fetishes, while praying to Slaanesh

>>22014746
>>Be Caligula. You'd become a daemon solely by being Caligula.

This is exactly what I meant. That motherfucker has his own demon Rome planet, somewhere.

>>22014685
>Perhaps in this way, someone who made use of each and every emotion would be classed as Undivided, having the support of all 4.

Yeah, this is what I think guys like Abaddon be doing. He's just so crazy-shit over the top in all kinds of ways, so they all give him boons. (Anyone remember the Abaddon Quest?)

File: 1355359220130.jpg-(7 KB, 480x360, breivik uniform.jpg)

/r/ing Breivik as champion or Khorne

>>22015001
On a similar note;
Isn't Doombreed supposedly Genghis Khan?

>>22015001
*of
of Khorne

>>22015040
> Doombreed's true name has long been forgotten, but he was once human, a mighty warlord who led armies which ravaged entire nations on Earth long ago, responsible for genocide and murder on a grand scale. Such wanton carnage drew the eye of the god Khorne, still relatively young, who granted the warlord the ultimate reward of Daemonhood

File: 1355359538251.png-(214 KB, 491x293, ungern3-copy.png)

>>22015040
Maybe Ungern Khan? He certainly was possessed by Chaos. Maybe Khorne, maybe Tzeentch- after all he had his own retinue of fortunetellers, while he slayed his enemies in hand to hand cobat in times they already had rifles.

Maybe he was Genghis Khan after gaining Daemonhood.

File: 1355359622486.jpg-(152 KB, 1024x768, khorne.jpg)

I'm so Khorne it's almost pathetic. I have significant anger management issues, which in one instance got me suspended from work for a few days (I started screaming at an annoying coworker and punched a dent into a filing cabinet, wouldn't open all the way from then on).

Also magic is for pussies.

>Which would you feel fits your person?
im gonna say slaanesh
>What kind of blessings do you think you'd receive?
well i like to drink and i also like sex, so im going with the ability to do lots of that

i

File: 1355359757596.jpg-(115 KB, 720x554, image.jpg)

>>22015097
Yes but as this guy >>22015061
quoted the lexicanum it could be any warlord but I'm putting my money on Genghis Khan.

>>22015132
JULIUS WATCHED WITH barely contained excitement as the blue haired composer crossed the stage and descended into the orchestra pit to take her place on her conductor’s podium. Dressed in a scandalously translucent dress of gold and crimson, the gossamer thin material hung with precious stones that glittered like stars. The cut of her dress plunged from her shoulders to her pelvis, the swell of her breasts and the hairlessness of her flesh clearly visible beneath.
‘Magnificent!’ cried Fulgrim, clapping furiously with the audience at Bequa’s appearance, and Julius was amazed to see tears in his eyes.
Julius nodded, and though he had no real memory of feminine splendour or any frame of reference against which to compare her, the composer’s curves and obvious womanhood stole away his breath. Julius had felt such stirrings of emotion when he gazed upon his primarch, heard a particularly inspiring piece of music or went into battle, but to feel his senses aroused by a mortal woman was a new experience for him.

>>22015122
>What kind of blessings would you receive
Probably just super strength and magic resistance. But I'd like to think I'd get more as I start just saying "fuck it" and murder people.

It's not a path I want to go down in real life, but in a world where Khorne exists I can't see myself doing anything else.

>>22015218
Thick silence enveloped the audience as they waited for the magic to happen, the collective breath of nearly ten thousand throats held fast as the moment of anticipation stretched to breaking point. Bequa selected a mnemo-baton and tapped it on the libretto stand before launching into the opening bars of the Maraviglia’s overture.
Tremendous noise erupted from the orchestra pit as the first notes blared from the newly conceived musical devices, the sound reaching to every corner of La Venice with its wonderful instrumentation, romantic beauty and hints of themes yet to come. Julius felt himself carried on a journey of the senses as the music rose and fell, emotions he had never experienced plucked from the depths of his soul and brought joyously to the fore as the crashing beats and wild, skirling tunes wound their way through the audience.
He wanted to laugh and then cry, and then he felt a terrible anger build, before it bled away and a great melancholy settled upon him. Within moments the music had torn that loose, and a soaring elation asserted itself with the utmost lucidity and force, as though all that had gone before was merely the prelude to some grand design yet to be unveiled.
Bequa Kynska thrashed like a lunatic atop her conductor’s podium, jabbing and slashing the air with her baton, her hair a wild comet of blue as it whipped around her head. Julius tore his eyes from the magnificent sight of her and looked out over the audience to witness its reaction to this sublime, raucous music.

>>22015228
He saw faces rapt in stunned disbelief, eyes wide as the power and majesty of the dissonant sounds penetrated every skull and spoke to every soul of the sensations evoked. But not every member of the audience appeared to appreciate the wonder of what they were privileged to witness, and Julius saw many with their hands clamped over their ears in the throes of agony as the music swelled once more. Julius caught sight of the slender figure of Evander Tobias in the audience, and his anger grew as he watched the ungrateful wretch lead a group of his fellow scriveners through the crowd towards the exit.
Scuffles broke out and the recalcitrant archivist and his fellows were attacked, fists pummelling them to the ground where they were kicked and beaten. Without pause, the audience returned its attention to the stage, and Julius felt a fierce pride swell in his breast as he watched a heavy boot crunch down on Tobias’s skull. None remarked upon the sudden, bloody violence, as if it had been the most natural reaction, but Julius could see the bloodlust spread throughout the audience like a virus or the shockwave of a detonation.
The music swept onwards, rising and sweeping around La Fenice like a whirlwind, until at last it reached the thunderous crescendo of its climax, whereupon the curtain rose in a flurry of dramatic and spectacular sensations.

>>22015238
Julius rose to his feet as the peals of music drove ever onward, the overture continuing in an unbroken melody of sounds, and the sheer visceral emotions that filled him on seeing what lay beyond was like a punch to the guts.
The interior of the Laer temple had been recreated in painstaking detail, its eye-watering colours and dimensions faithfully recreated by the artists and sculptors who had walked within its magnificence.
Vivid lights flashed around the theatre, and Julius felt a momentary disorientation as more music blasted from the orchestra, a new piece with darker overtones and an aching sense of imminent tragedy. The waves of sound and harmony flowed outwards from the stage and over the audience, immersing them in the power and sensations he had first felt when he had followed Fulgrim into the temple.
The effect was immediately obvious, and a shudder of pleasure rippled through the audience as the powerful notes flowed into and through them. Dizzying colours flashed through the air, and as the music built to yet another high, a second spotlight stabbed onto the stage. The slender form of Coraline Aseneca, the prima donna of the Maraviglia, appeared.

>>22010903
In reply to OP though, you can't JUST have the dark gods. There needs to be a good power. That's basically what the Emperor is. He balances it out (somewhat).

>>22015154
How many warlords fit that description though?

I'd put my money on Genghis Khan, Alexander the Great or Hitler. Can't be people like Stalin cause they mostly just fucked over their own people and not "entire nations".

>>22015250
Julius had never heard Coraline’s voice before and was unprepared for the sheer virtuosity and power of her singing. Her tone was in perfect, discordant harmony with Bequa’s music, reaching heights no human voice could possibly attain. Yet attain them she did, the energy of her soprano’s voice reaching beyond the realms of the five senses, all of which were being stimulated it seemed to Julius.
He leaned forwards, laughing uncontrollably as an intoxicating rush of emotions seized him, and he clasped his hands to his head at such overstimulation. A chorus joined Coraline Aseneca on stage, though Julius hardly noticed them, their intermingled voices allowing the soprano’s voice to swoop through even more unfeasible notes, which reached into the very hindbrain to pluck at sensory apparatus Julius was not even aware he possessed.
Julius forced himself to look away from the stage, enthralled and terrified by what he was seeing and hearing. What manner of being could hear music of such terrible power and retain his sanity? Man was not meant to listen to this, the birthing cry of a beautiful and terrible god as it forced its way into existence.

>>22015218
>>22015228
>>22015238
>>22015250
>>22015265
Worship slaanesh and die a debilitating and utterly incomprehensible and loud death.

>>22015255
But hitler wasn't a warlord. Genghis Khan revelled in his enemies gore and personally enjoyed pulling people limb from limb, as he tries to do the Ben stiller in the night at the museum. But he actually did it, just for the lulz.

>>22015238
Hey copypasta fag, wait till you get to Angel Exterminatus.

>>22015328
I have it, what part you want?

Nurgle. Without a doubt, I'd go for Nurgle. When you struggle with self confidence and accepting yourself pretty much daily, having anybody who unconditionally accepts and loves you as you are is a hell of a thing, and right now I kind of need something like that. Not to mention the whole misery thing probably plays in well enough, I dunno. I don't know what I'd get as a gift out of it, except maybe getting rid of my ability to give a damn about what others think of me, including that nagging voice of doubt at the back of my mind. It'd be a change for the better though, I won't lie, but the fact I gotta go to a Chaos God to feel worthwhile is...Kinda depressing in it's own way really.

Bump

Rise from the grave!

I'm thinking of breaking out my typewriter and writing a treatise on worshipping Chaos in the real world.

>>22023241
Do it.

I wonder if GW can sue?

I'm pretty sure George Lucas can't sue Jediism practitioners, can he

>>22023499
Nah he can't. Also, imagine if this actually works.

>Pen Chaos religion
>Gathers momentum
>Someone pens EMPRAH religion
>Gains momentum amidst people bothered by my Chaos religion
>SPIRALS OUT OF FUCKING CONTROL
>RIOTS
>Suddenly I'm Horus
>40k actually comes about because someone took it literally.

It is a good pain.

>>22023530
During finals the cult to the Inmortal God-Emperor of Mankind is rather strong.

Oddly enough it works, not a single person praying to the Emperor has fail a final, even when needing ridiculous high grades.

>>22023928
Wait what?

>>22024002
Pardon my English, but yah. For some big coincidence pray to the God-Emperor worked.

>>22024257
No as in.... I have no idea what you're talking about. Care to explain please?

>>22024268
Out of a joke I started saying, pray to the Emperor and you'll pass your finals and all those things.

He passed, we laugh about it. Next semester someone else did it, and worked again. Next year people started praying to the Emperor and passing the exams even when needing very high results in order to accomplish that.

The joke spread and now some are actually pray and praise him when needing help and things like that.

It is rather scary, sure is just a bunch people spread out between different universities.

Think I should start a religion.

Nurgle.

I'm a fat conservative.

File: 1355413616320.jpg-(279 KB, 1024x747, Fullview_emperor-horus-1-.jpg)

>>22024328
Wow, damn. That's impressive.

So in the future, we will do glorious battle, anon?

You shall not find me wanting.

File: 1355413701846.gif-(Spoiler Image, 137 KB, 400x300)

>>22024432

Do you by any chance unskew liberally biased polls?

>>22024457
Dem Slaneeshian and Tzeentchian be at it again!

File: 1355414324137.gif-(1.24 MB, 1800x1800, Coat of Arms.gif)

>>22024438
We are Humanity: Look upon our works and tremble

Wanted to post this but I'm too lazy to fix the image and post it here
>>>>22020824

>>22024457
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYCy9iLOYe4

Khornate here. If only because I want to murder hedonists and manipulative fucks whenever I see them.

That said, I like nurglle. I'd totally go for a nurgle cultist as a gf

For a blessing I'd cut off damn near anything to never tire.

Nurgle since death comes no matter what one might aswell embrace all the pain and just be content

As for blessings, the ability to take bodypart of the dead as my own, so I can be a meatshield in combat and protect my brothers and sisters in arms

>>22014538
Did you even read my post? I said that although the Chaos gods have *some* virtues, overall they are evil beings, so I wouldn't associate myself with them.

Secondly, the Chaos gods aren't *identical* to the concepts they represent, so I can still embrace Honor as a concept, while ignoring Khorn and his bloody slaughtering.

E nomine Emprah, e Sanguinius, e Spiritu Mechnicus, you heretic.

>>22024328
What Prayers were said my Brother?
I wish to use this for my Upcoming A Level exams in the spring

I'm actually well into writing this fucking thing, though it's not long (around 2 pages maybe?) but I hit the major points. Now i'm applying the afterlife bit, which is a good bit of philosophy that I think people would like as it's got a good message.

>>22025288
So i've got:

- Following Chaos as a representation of human nature.
- Don't fucking worship the pantheon as deities cause that defeats the point.
- The afterlife.

What other messages should a belief system have?

Definitely Slaanesh... I'm a Frat guy (with a closet addiction to /tg/) I don't know the meaning of the word excess.

My blessing would be some kinds of way to indulge in all the glorious warp drugs and debauchery while all keeping a "clear" head to function in society. Kind of counter productive for a slaanesh boon, but it's better than tentacles.

Wouldn't change much of anything... Just a more higher level of fucked up without sacrificing everything.

>>22010903
>gods

Chaos Religion done. Who wants to read this shit? It's 2 and a half pages.

>>22025596
Yes please! In before Horus Heresy started on 4chan.

File: 1355422724714.pdf-(18 KB, PDF, The Principle.pdf)

>>22025823
There you go. Give some feedback if you fancy.

>>22025863
Good philosophical base but needs a bit more room for a theistic approach. Literal belief in gods are the backbone of most faiths, after all.

>>22026009
Well, I made it more from a non-believer standpoint. What I find wrong in most religions is exactly the belief in mystical beings that oversee everything. This opens the door to a lot of dickery purely because of "DEUS VULT!" and people's interpretations of how to please their deity. By not having literal deities, you minimize the room for such dickery and are given a pretty clear message, that of living well and doing good while not shying away from what makes you human.

>>22026080
So the Chaos Gods are actually the Four Gods of Humanity Fuck Yeah?

I'm very okay with this

>>22026191
Pretty much yes. I have technically mashed LaVeyan Satanism, Buddhism, Chaos and the Imperial Creed together to end up with a belief system that even Richard Dawkins would probably agree with.

Reckon I should fluff out the Afterlife section to include a few examples? Think I should add anything in particular?

>>22026223
I added this paragraph to the afterlife section, felt like it's relevant:

The concept of the Christian Heaven and Hell can be used here. The more good you do in life, the better your reward in Heaven.

Likewise, the worse your conduct, the worse your punishment in Hell. This draws a parallel with the Principle in that people will

remember you and use your memory as an example of your words and deeds. You act well and people will remember you as a good person,

perhaps as far as using you as an example to other people. Let's take a very common example: Hitler. This man's afterlife glows with

the heat of a thousand suns, his name brought up Ad Nauseam every single day as an example of the worst, the most horrific, the most

bloody things humanity is capable of. His words and deeds have affected not just his contemporaries at the time but the entire world

for 70+ years and counting. He has become the modern face of evil in his afterlife.

The only one idont think i would qualify for is tzeentch other than the fact that im computer savvy like most people in this day and age, i have had several health issues that are self wrought and i also might have cancer. I also have severe anger issues and am prone to violence but i have learned to control it when im not angry or when im trying hard to not be, im rather calm and laid back. And as far as slaanesh goe, well theres always the near constant masturbation as long as im alone, and addiction to making myself "feel things" like drinking energy drinks till 1 in the morning so i become super paranoid and star hearing shit and binding myself untill my arms go numb, or rubbing Novocain on my tongue and mouth, or holding my breath till im about to pass out, hell ill even sit in my spinning chair and spin untill i puke.

Im not really sure which God of Chaos would fit me but i would do my best to embody who ever chose me to the best of my ability's.

>>22026223
Let divine inspiration guide your hand, brother.

File: 1355426280448.jpg-(257 KB, 900x1272, Lorgar_by_slaine69.jpg)

>>22026351
I shall.

>>22026374
Well, that said, I have no idea what else to include but I will do further contemplation to see if anything else needs to be appended.

How would one go about actually founding a religion? You don't really need lots of money cause that's just if you got physical shit, this is metaphysical.

>>22026374
Here's some motivational music for you:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bxt059xHVr0

I can't find the Word Bearer Chant though, I wonder where did that go...

>>22026411
Seriously, just let go of rational thought, read through what you've already wrote and let the words come out. They're in your hands already, but your thinking blocks them.

>>22026460
>your thinking blocks them.
B-B-But it's meant to be a belief system that USES thinking and logic amongst other things to realize your potential.

Goddamnit, the gods don't exist, Erebus!

Cool song though, bro

>>22026535
Exactly, but a higher level of thinking - the realm of the divine! Let in the divine thoughts, brother, and chant their verses of enlightenment!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8vQ8w9ubco

Fuck yeah, I found it at last!

>>22026563
No Erebus! this is not how I wish the path to be! Humanity must know the truth and the divine is not it!

Also, check the description and click on the "Devil Speak" one. HNNGGGHHHH. That's some old school demon Summoning shit right there: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pcobhFVGLM

File: 1355427888250.png-(70 KB, 312x313, Khuultheest-chaan.png)

>Which would you feel fits your person?
The Changer of Ways or The Lord of Decay, I am sickly person and I like to watch people argue about what-not shits and giggles.
>Which God would you choose?
Undivided. Except not Khorne... He is tempting, but I'd rather keep my head tightly where it is.
>What kind of blessings do you think you'd receive?
Jack and shit. And I think Jack left real-space. But seriously? Ability to summon Daemons via fitting(human) sacrifices.
>How would they change your life?
I'd start a cult gather fuckton of moneh, and build my very own underwater Neo-Sodomah(name of MY city, not the rapetastick biblefuck-of-a-city). And I would change my name to something aewsoms.

>>22013424
>If the Chaos gods were real, how many of you would be willing to lose a limb to one of them in exchange for dark boons? A hand, or an eye, or what have you?
I'm sure I don't have to lose a limb to join Khorne. In fact, that might make me less useful to him.

>>22015432
Bellated; I just meant I thought there were parts more relevant, but perhaps not.

>>22023241
I too would support this, whether or not I agreed with its contents, just for the hilarity that would ensue with success.

it makes me sad to say that i would probably be either chaos undivided or more likely tzeench.

i am slothful, easy to anger, and lets be honest i have internet so i have a constent temper of lust.

I may favor tzeench, because distpite my fault, people tend to like(see begrudgingly tolerate) me. they also think i am a nice guy, so they almost never suspect it when i manipulate them.

mostly I tend to trick people out of self destructive action, but i am still playing off their character, emotions, and logical failings when i do it.

>>22027084
Well, I finished it on my laptop >>22025863 . I'll clean it up and make a physical copy with my typewriter tomorrow.

>>22027084
Also if you have any tips on how to actually spread this around and help it gather momentum, it would be awesome.

>>22026344
What the fuck dude. Sounds like you should try being a normal fag. It doesn't sound like you have the constitution or IQ to be anything else.

File: 1355432046972.jpg-(176 KB, 800x882, 1324808718032.jpg)

Archived, needs votes, by the way.
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/22010903

It wouldn't work as a religion because people don't "need" gods anymore, and they "want" philosophy. The philosophy of Chaos is fine, but you will never get anyone to accept personified emotions as something to honor or at least even accept. Draw poignancy from whatever you want, but don't make it sound like your starting a religion. Religions are outdated concepts to begin with.

>>22027355
>It wouldn't work as a religion because people don't "need" gods anymore, and they "want" philosophy. The philosophy of Chaos is fine, but you will never get anyone to accept personified emotions as something to honor or at least even accept. Draw poignancy from whatever you want, but don't make it sound like your starting a religion. Religions are outdated concepts to begin with.
Slaanesh was born when Eldar stopped needing gods.

>>22027355
If you'd paid attention, the religion proposed here doesn't really propose gods, it proposes philosophies to live buy using the framework of the Chaos gods as examples of human aspects.

Second, considering motherfuckers keep making up new religions all the time, I'd daresay the need for Gods has not gone away.

>>22027355
People fear change and people also need SOMETHING to believe in, much like how Atheists treat Science as a religion and Dawkins and other champions as their bishops. Regardless, it's not a religion of sorts, it's a belief system with a message rooted in modern thinking, more in line with non-believers than any antiquated religion.

>>22027348
Wow, never expected that. How do you vote? At the very least can I append the archive with an updated pdf?

>>22027433
When did Atheists start treating science as a religion?

>>22027385
I read what you said. My point is, it's all fine if you want to codify your belief system. Why the hell does it have anything to do with the Chaos Gods? You might as well replace the names of the gods with colors, or types of food. It's a silly exercise that simply takes alot of already existing ideas and sticks the word Khorne on top of them.

>>22027433

Well if you look at it from a practical point of view, Science totally blows every other religion out of the water. I mean its got reliable, reproducible miraculous healing for one. What has Jehovah done for you lately?

>>22027507
It's because people find it far easier to follow a philosophy or way of life when there's symbols and labels attached. Humans flock to such things, it's one of the reasons Christianity, Islam, Judaism and other things have gained such momentum, there's a figure. Buddhism doesn't really have a figure because Buddha isn't it. One can BECOME a Buddha because it's a title, not a being.

Beliefs systems don't need a figure but humans just plain find it far easier when there is one.

>>22027507
>>22027556
Have you ever met a militant Atheist or seen a few of those assholes on youtube? The hate they extrude towards religion and the bold defence they put up for science is pretty much just another brand of fanaticism.

And yeah, Science does have actual proof and abilities but we're not talking about that are we?

>>22027760
>It's because people find it far easier to follow a philosophy or way of life when there's symbols and labels attached.

The same thing ever dick cult leader has realised for centuries past...

>>22027760
>A small number of Militant Atheists = All atheists

Rather then argue this point, I'll leave you with this instead.

HA!

Nurgle, because I'm a depressed, lazy sack of shit and every night I am eaten from the inside by guilt for spending yet another day doing fuckall.
Someone who comes up and says "Dude, 'scool" would win my favor instantly, because I'm that much of a pathetic fuck.

>>22027822
Which is why it works ey.

>>22027836
My bad, I apologize I worded it badly, I didn't mean it like that. I'm just saying Atheists CAN treat Science with the same reverence as a religious person might look to his beliefs.

We can even tie in other philosophies and religions fairly easily.

Hell, we can incorporate The Eightfold Path wholesale. Put in hooks and references to things like Gnosticism and the more abstract parts of Hinduism and you can have those, too.

Various animistic religions like Shinto could be tied in easily - just allow for lesser spirits, like those born of emotion directed towards a particular appliance.

We can solve the problem of evidence and miracles easily enough - just pronounce that the Gods work via coincidence and biasing propability towards certain outcomes.

As for the afterlife - the Warp is defined to work on perception - you get what you see, which is what you *are* - and coagulation of similar things - i.e. the law of sympathy - weak emotions will be stripped away, migrating to those more accomodating of them.
An angry man with a strong sense of compassion becomes a spirit of righteous wrath, losing his ambition and love, for exaple.

The various demons are aspects of the gods, which themselves are aspects of Chaos, which is the same as the Warp. Thus, the principle of Hierarchy is applicable - you are tied to those things you resemble the most, and become more like them.

Thus, the man from the previous example would, depending on his actions post-mortem, find himself drawn either to Khorne (Retribution), Nurgle (Benevolence) or Tzeentch (Answering Hopes and Prayers).

This would also nicely tie in with ancestor worship.

>>22028229
That is an amazing chunk of information. Please, feel free to write something on how you'd include it in the pdf and i'll happily include it. I admit I don't know much about most of the faiths you describe, only having a basic understanding.

>>22028336
Also, try to keep it as simple to understand as possible and keep the message. Those are really the only two rules. We must keep it streamlined so people can read and understand it and we want the message to be clear so there's no DEUS VULT bullshit.

>Which would you feel fits your person?
Probably Nurgle. I'm a depressed, lazy, apathetic procrastinator. And, to be honest, my hygiene isn't so great, either. A bit of Slaanesh, too, though. I like my drugs, I like "intense" music that touches me emotionally, and I love novel experiences. Oh, and I'm a total pervert. The things I've fapped to, mang.
>Which God would you choose?
Slaanesh. Definitely Slaanesh.
>What kind of blessings do you think you'd receive?
Well, I have no idea. But I'd LIKE to be able to trip at will. Any trip I want at anytime. Feces would be money. And probably something kinky, like tentacles, or something.
>How would they change your life?
I don't think I'd ever leave my house again. Not I do that much, anyhow.