Welcome to First Post Quest II, /tg/, where the first action posted (linking to the post its replying to) is always the winning one!The previous thread can be found at:http://archive.foolz.us/tg/thread/21901987You are Snakedick the Magnificent, a human soul living in Hell who serves as a low ranking soldier. Your lord is the lesser demon prince, Udedbout, who represents war, rebellion and death, yet also companionship.After attempting to commit suicide out of boredom, you learnt that you had access to minor sourcerous powers. However, you have not yet learnt to draw magic from the world around you, only from the magic sustaining your soul body, meaning that everytime you cast a spell, a bit of you vanishes. However, you have learnt to bypass this drawback by shapeshifting bits of your body into an new body part. By using this skill, you have turned yourself into a naga-esque being with a sentient snake head, Sly, for a dick. You are accompanied on your quest by your animated sword waifu, capable of communicating with you by arranging the blood from your dick upon its blade into words.(cont)
>>21906024I kill myself and end this horrible thread.
>>21906024Earlier, you hired four other inhabitants of Hell to help you rescue your sword waifu from a villainous salamander called Sicilik (aka Cecil Limpdick). After parting ways with a big muscly chap, you travelled to the city of Gotgulla with three of your accomplices. You parted ways with a scrawny, sex starved man called Phillip, and then proceeded to brutally murder your two remaining accomplices, the two sisters Matilda and Stephanie, and attempted to turn their eviscerated remains into dragon dildoes. After this failed, you set off in search of magically potent whores to eat, but that plan hasn't really worked out.You are still in Gotgulla, and standing outside a church of Asmodeus, the demon prince of lust. You are pondering whether you should go into the church in order to find and defile a relic, go to a different church to find and defile a relic, or just go somewhere else to continue your search for magical power.What do, Snakedick the Magnificent?(Credit to an anonymous drawfag for his marvellous character portrait of Snakedick, Sly and sword waifu)
>>21906033This poor fool did not glance at the previous thread, did he?
>>21906040Find a nice library to sit down and read some books at.
>>21906040I kill my dick and then myself.
>>21906040Find commune of nude hell sorcerors, make them teach to magic
>>21906054You slither through Gotgulla, and eventually stumble across a libary. You enter through the large, rotting doors, and slither around. The room is large, dark and smells horribly of dust. The huge shelves form a maze within the library, and small hovering demons organise the books on shelves.You manage to find a few books on magic, and then find a reading area. You attempt to sit down on a chair, but your snake tail means you just spazm around a bit and then fall over. You'll have to settle for coiling up your tail and sitting on the floor next to the table.The books you've gathered are:- Summoning and You: a Conjurers Hand Book- Utilising Your Inner Rage to Smash Shit- How to Cast Spells Without Eating Up Your Body: a Magic Guide for Souls- E'ich Thand Nardun Iln Whaas Nardun
>>21906140E'ich Thand Nardun Iln Whaas NardunChop up the book into tiny pieces of paper, roll it up with a bigger piece of paper, and smoke it.
>>21906140Read "How to cast spells whiout eating your body"
>>21906159The best way to gain magical knowledge
>>21906231>>21906173>>21906159Vision quests tend to have that effect
>>21906159You skillfully chop up the book with your sword waifu. You gather up the small, chopped up pieces, and tear a piece of paper from one of the other books on the shelf. You make yourself a nice, neat roll up and light it on one of the candles casting the room in flickering light. You raise the smouldering roll up, and take a drag.You wake up in a filthy gutter in a bustling street. You think you're still in Gotgulla, but you're not sure where. Sly is snoring heavily, and occasionally giggling in his sleep. Your sword waifu is lying across your chest, with your dick blood spelling out the message 'Oh baby, that was a damn fine night.'Your clinging onto one of your salamander eggs in one arm. You pat your head, and realise your wearing half of one of the others as a hat; cold egg slime is dribbling down your face and head. You don't know where the other three are. Someone appears to have tatooed a crude phallus on your abdomen.
>>21906159>>21906231Opeeeeen yoooouurrrr minddddddSeeee the operating software
Suicide seems to at least be a speedy means of travel back to our home point. If we do that though we should stash our gear somewhere safe first.
>>21906273ah not again
>>21906273Please let our sword waifu come with us
>>21906273You do realize that doing that shit won't end this quest, or ruin it, right?
>>21906273You decide you want to try killing yourself again, but the disadvantage of killing yourself in a location you're not sure of is that you'll lose your sword waifu again.If you're sure you want to kill yourself again, how are you going to go about doing it?
I'm calling it. Every thread needs to start with us killing ourselves. It's just the nature of the game.
>>21906290Aside from losing all our gear and our precious waifu it is pretty convenient.
>>21906312WE do not kill ourselves, actually!
>>21906312Try out our powers. See what we "learned".
READ A BOOK ON HOW TO RECALL OUR GEAR.That way we can summon our sword when we die.
>>21906312We cannot leave our waifu: read the book about non-hand-chopping fireball casting instead.
>>21906049I am still glad my post lead to this. It is a beautiful chaos.
>>21906332We're going to need this at some point anyway. Other things might end up killing us as well. This spell is very important we must learn it.
We should see about turning our snake-dick into a separate entity, and then having both it and our sword-waifu become our familiars.Then we can use them as extra magical batteries to increase our strength.
>>21906173tried my best
>>21906385fucking gold right here.nicely done anon.
>>21906385yesssss....this pleases me
>>21906385The crude drawing style just enhances the already crude quest-style.I applaud you drawfag!
>>21906385The perspective breaks my brain and it's awesome.
>>21906323You dismiss the idea of killing yourself; how could you abandon your sword waifu again?"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?"You are suddenly wrenched out of the gutter and held in the air. Sword waifu clatters away and lands in the gutter beneath you. You are twisted around, and you see that you're held by a large, grizzled demon wearing nothing but a helmet and a loin cloth. It's your seargent, and he's probably wondering why you've been doing piss all for the past two days or so when you should have been on scout duty.How're you going to get out of this one, Snakedick?
>>21906452Tell him you've been promoted above him, and will have him stoned for his insubordination.
>>21906467This is going to end horribly, and I wouldn't have it any other way
>>21906467The seargent spits in your eye and then headbutts you, and almost breaks your nose. Despite the violence, he then smiles at you."I like that rebellious attitude!" he laughs, and then backhands you with his free hand. He drops you back into the gutter with your sword waifu."The fuck are your plans now?"
>>21906515Have our snake-dick bite his dick off
>>21906515Figure out what powers have been granted us by our eldritch blunt.
>>21906534You raise your hand, concentrate your magical energy, and fire off a fireball into the seargents face. Unfortunately, your hand vanishes again, and your arm begins to spurt blood everywhere. The seargent falls back, flailing around as the magical flames keep on burning his face. He eventually purts them out by falling face first into a wet, muddy gutter on the other side of the road. He doesn't get back up again, but you can see the gentle rise and fall of his breath.
>>21906567STAB AND EAT
>>21906567devour him with sly
>>21906567Use his loincloth to bandage our wound, then alter his dick into another dick-snake.
>>21906567Speed read the book on casting for souls!
>>21906567Here's a question: can we take pieces of other creatures and magically graft them unto ourselves?
>>21906608Lets find out
>>21906574You devour that fucker. You devour him even more violently than the imp, the sisters or the whore; this fucker has caused you untold misery during training, and you gladly take revenge on him. Because demons aren't magically sustained souls, you take delight in the fact that the seargent isn't going to randomly pop back out of the soul catcher; you've pretty much killed this guy for good. You sit back, yours and Sly's belly full of demon meat. However, you've now eaten three full people, a large demon and who the fuck knows what happened when you were tripping on that book; you really need a shit.Now what?
>>21906638Try these out:>>21906608>>21906621
>>21906638Find someplace to shit, then get back to the library and read the rest of the books.Also, heal self.
>>21906638Stop injecting your horrible scat fetish into the quest.
>>21906651You try to graft some of the left over intestines and organs to yourself, by jamming them onto the bleeding knob where your hand once was and pulling some flesh from your buttocks over to the arm to keep the new bits and bobs in place. You now have trailing intestines and strips of flesh where you once had a hand.
>>21906706Now we will use or shapeshifting powers to turn this into a hand.
>>21906706Try casting chtuuloid magicks.
>>21906706Draw life energy from the bacteria in the mud. Rearrange the demonic cells into a hand. Then get to the library.
>>21906722This process feels extremely odd. You manage to morph the trailing flesh and intestines into a hand, without causing any of the rest of your body to vanish. The hand is operational, but the bone and muscle structure isn't that strong, and the hand is made from actual demon flesh rather than soul flesh. The hand has a lagtime of a few seconds, and isn't that strong, but it's better than having a bleeding gap instead.
>>21906784Make ourself an improvised squid-beard.
>>21906784Now lets do this >>21906654
>>21906784>demon flesh rather than soul fleshDifference?
>>21906799You scoop some more intestines and left over flesh from the remains of the seargent onto your chin, and manage to get them to bond to your flesh. You feel your buttocks shrink a bit more as you draw on the magic sustaining you to morph the trailing flesh into a tentacle beard.
>>21906844The difference is that humans are innately superior to all other forms of life
Lets go ask the medical guy who patched us up earlier for tips
>>21906850Now, library, and learn to draw magics from around us.But first, find someplace secluded to relieve ourselves.
>>21906850New we really need more drawfaggotry.
>>21906857Have you got anything else to do in Gotgulla before you go see the healer at the soul catcher fortress?>>21906844The difference is that a demon is a physical creature which lives in hell, whereas Snakedick the Magnificent is a soul given physical form. So, a demon has actual flesh, whereas everything about Snakedick is formed through and sustained by magic.
>>21906941read book on how to not dissolve self when casting
>>21906941Steal all the books on magic we can.Specifically, the ones from earlier, plus anything on binding daemons into objects/people.
>>21906941>soul given physical formDoes that mean if we die we loose our appearance?Also, lets go to the library.
>>21906941Try casting a fireball with your demon hand.
>>21906040Woo, my incredible art in the OP and cred for it, i'll get right on making more beutiful paintings for you all, atleast a little while longer.
>>21906956Unfortunately, you're not really sure where the library is, seeing as you don't know where in Gotgulla you are; you just woke up here after smoking some bad spell book.
>>21906973No, not beautiful. Terrible. Make them terrible.
>>21906994Ask for directions
>>21906994Well, go relive ourselves somewhere secluded, then make our way to the gate we entered from and work backwards from there.
>>21907004You slither up to a passing demon and ask him for directions. He stares at for you for a few seconds, then breaks into laughter."Aha! Oh, man, Snakedick! Last night was crazy! What had you been taking, man?"The demon keeps on laughing and going on like this, even though you've never seen him before. He then tells you that the gate is seven streets south, two east, and then another south.>>21906965Don't worry, you keep your altered appearance, both snake tail and snake-head-for-a-dick, when you die and go to the soul catcher.
>>21907061Go to the gate, after shitting on his face.
>>21907061Lets go then. Sorcery awaits.
>>21907061Ah shit diggas, the Hangover: Hell EditionTime to find the gate, then the library, and then the gate again before anyone notices we've stolen some books.
>>21907061Could it be... that there's another Snakedick?
>>21907074You turn around, display your scaley anus (with abnormally small buttocks), and release a steamy load in the demons face. He looks a bit shocked, but continues to laugh half heartedly.You slither off back to the gate by following his directions. You eventually arrive at the great gates of Gotgulla. Do you want to go straight to see the healer demon at the soul catcher fortress, or go back to the library?
>>21907203Library, take books, then healer.
>>21907203LIBRARY. FOR THE SPELLBOOKS.
>>21907203Library first. And we will go there dancing!
>>21907219You retrace the route you first took when you entered the city. You arrive at the library sooner than previously, as you don't have to stop to eat people on the way this time.You enter the dusty, dark library, and are pleased to see that you've arrived just in time to stop some of the small, flying demons from carrying away the magic books you gathered. Because you've got your sword waifu in one hand and a salamander egg in the other, you have to wake up Sly so he can carry the books in his mouth. The little demon asks if you want to check out the books, but before it can finish, you slither away as quickly as possible, the books seized firmly in your snake-head-dick.The demons are agile, but not very fast, and you soon out-slither the angry, flying librarian. You eventually arrive back at the gates, and prepare for the next stage of your adventure...Well, I'm off for now guys. Sadly got some work related stuff to do, which takes priority over Snakedick the Magnificent. Hopefully, this will still be around to continue tommorow, but if its not I'll start up a new thread. Todays been a good run guns.
>>21907308>Well, I'm off for now guysYOU NIGGER
>>21907308For potential continuation:Learn magic from books.
>>21907308Thanks OP, i'll be keeping an eye out for a thread tomorrow.
>>21907308This was pretty awesome. You rolled with the punches OP and showed some cleverness and produced a kick ass adventure. You better continue this!
These threads have been the high-light of my week. OP you are a cool guy and /tg/ you are some cuhrayzee peeps.