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Step #1: Confirm that it's a "she."

Have you done that?

Oh, why not? They're pretty flighty to begin with, so worst case scenario? An awkward date and she promptly loses interest in you.

Just remember to politely decline if she offers to grant you the ability to breathe water and show you her place. They have a habit of forgetting.

>>21814423

Yeah , i do have some. Ask me questions.
Hope you have a lake nearby your place, though.

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Be careful my friend this seems fishy, she might just be messing with you for the halibut. Buoys and gills were meant to be but, bouys and mermaids are dolphinitely an odd combination and you should be suspicious now that she's taking an interest in you. This is a seariously something weird. I'm not squidding, she might krill you.

But don't let me make you trench my friend! I've been herring goods things about mermaid-human relations recently (however rare they may be). This might be a good impor-tuna-ity You should trout your heart in this matter. If you're searious about this, you need to man(atee) up and go to her. If you believe in yourself, you'll have a whale of a time and your time with her will be brill-liant.

Let minnow how it turns out!

>>21814483

Step #2: Confirm she is a Mermaid and not a Melusine.

Sure, the coffee is good, but not worth the obsessive clinginess.

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>>21814594

impor-tuna-ity

>>21814611

I know, right? That dude's just floundering around

>>21814611
Oh god

I'm sorry

That was stupid of me

THIS IS A TURTLE DISASTER

>>21814594
I see we have a bugler fan in the audience tonight

I've seen you post a few times before. I think you're just great.

proceed

I'm actually married to a Mermaid. She helps me fish by travelling alongside the boat and spotting stuff for me.

I met her after she cut all my fishing nets as a prank, but she didn't expect me to jump in after her. A few minutes later I carried her out of the ocean, sat her on a rock, and gave her a very long, boring lecture about the economy and about how fishermen make a living. Then she tried to bite my ankles.

After another fight that ended up with us both rolling into a ditch in the sand, She noticed my muscles and got all embarassed and started throwing sand at me. I threw sand back at her and some of it went up her nose. She had to snort it out, and I gave her my handkerchief. At that point I noticed how pretty she was. So I took off my shirt and she couldn't help but stare at my body.

Finally she started talking and told that I was taking too many fish from the sea and didn't know which fish were the best. I calmly talked about fishing practices with her for a few hours and eventually we made a deal: She'd help me find more ecologically viable sources of fish in exchange for me letting her have a warm bath in my house. Apparently Mermaids covet hot water.

>>21815058


So I carried her inside, tail flopping everywhere, and put her in the tub, explained the water taps, and left her alone. Then a few minutes later she called out in a panicked manner and I came running back in to find her naked and reaching for the soap which had fallen under the tub. So then she looked up and I saw her huge breasts and she understandably got all upset. I said to her that she shouldn't feel bad, and that if it's any consolation I thought she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. She smiled at me then, a really wide, happy smile that you only see when somebody wants to show you how they really feel. So then she asked if I wanted to join her, and one thing led to another.

Having sex with a Mermaid is actually very similar with humans. You just have to remember that her tail isn't able to split like human legs, so you need to be gentle when moving it. Luckily it can bend backwards really easily, so finding the vaginal opening between her hips isn't too difficult.

The next morning she was clinging to me all night and I asked her if she wanted to stay with me. She agreed, and we managed to convince a priest to marry us a few weeks later.

Sure, everything in the house and the bed is damp and smells like saltwater and stuff, but she's adorable and I love her.

>>21815094
>>21815058
I've noticed an odd trend with monstergirls/abhumans/subhumans etc whatever you want to call them. They fall for and invariably crave to be with the first man to bed them, regardless of context, and usually regardless of how they're treated by said man.

Is it the animal/monster part of them trying to form a stable bond with a mate figure, or the human part trying to latch onto someone that might understand them? Something else?

>>21815263
Single dumbest post ever made on 4chan.

I'm a Lamia, and I assure you, this stereotype is complete bullshit. We're just as well adjusted as any of you (which is to say, it's a craps shoot).

Maybe it's just the ones that species mix. I don't understand the appeal of having sex with someone who's got two extra limbs flapping around everywhere. What do you even do with those legs?

>>21815840
Just for the sake of science, are you a virgin?

>>21815885
For the sake of science, no, I am not.

Me and my Lamia boyfriend love each other very much.

>>21815840
>What do you even do with those legs?
climb ladders

>>21814423

They're OK, they're not so good at lying so she's most likely on the level.

>>21815094
>>21815058

I came

>>21815263

My hypothesis is two-fold, first we all know that monster-GUYS (i.e. monsters) aren't very pleasant to be around, therefore it's no surprise that monstergirls would want to be with humans. Second the dearth of monsters due to their proclivity for seeking out human women and for getting killed by humans leaves monstergirls without many options of their own races.

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>>21815263
blame the current demon lord

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>>21816015

>>21815915
Just, again, for science, go try a human male out and get back to me, I'm compiling notes.

>>21816015
>>21816027
Seems to me that the gods are dicks and the demon lord is mostly on our side. Just need some way for the children of a monster girl/human pairing to be human if male, instead of always monster girl.

>>21815840
Kick things, of course. You should try it... Oh, wait.

>>21815915
>Lamia x Lamia sex
But to be racist, but... Yuck!

Invest in a Ring of Waterbreathing.
Even if you break up with her, should you ever date another Aquatic species you'll be ready.

>>21818968
>yuck
Not to be homophobic, but naga you gay

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>>21819218

Make sure you wash your hands after touching her. Salmonella's a bitch.

>>21816084
Can't we just keep some human females as well as monstergirls?

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>>21814423
Make sure you don't encounter the Mermaid Problem with her. If you do, expect a lot of blowjobs.

Now, I'm more one for terrestrial creatures myself, but you should try talking to her, and luring her in with fish.
It worked with my catgirl waifu.

If she introduces herself by saying she's not going to drown you, you should probably be worried.

Like, if someone walked up and said, "Hi, I'm totally not going to stab you to death and rape your corpse" what would you think their intentions really are?

You gonna get drowned, nigga.

>>21815840
>I'm a Lamia
Tail or GTFO

>>21815840

mfw subhuman scum dirty up /tg/

Soon snake will be removed from the premises.

I always thought the idea of a mermaid living in a decently sized aquarium that trots around on two lanky Steampunk-esque legs was kind of amusing and adorable, but maybe that's just me.

>>21823338
The Species Equality Act was passed five years ago, man. You might as well accept it and join reality with the rest of us. Doesn't matter if you're human, mermaid, lamia, arachne, whatever. We're all the damn same on the inside.

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>>21823328
You're so lewd, /tg/.

But okay, here you go. But don't think I'll post anything more than that.

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>>21823221
>you should try talking to her, and luring her in with fish.
It works for lesbians, at least.

>>21823372
Ewww, gross. Underage b&.

>>21823401
They are covered under it to, though they themselves are kinda xenophobic still.

>>21823371
Actually, we're really not. Like, not at all the same. The only thing we share is that we're all sentient and that's really the only thing that matters.

>>21823401
Hey, my best friend is a Lizardman

>>21823473
What, you mean if my people were conquered by humans from Spain hundreds and hundreds of years ago I'd blanket-hate all humans, regardless of their race and nationality?

>>21823497
Yeah but you see them so rarely around where I live. They're either all in the western US or Eastern Europe.

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You know, I've always thought that mermaid steaks would taste delicious. If they suddenly popped into existence, I think I'd be that one jackass waddling my fat ass down to the docks with a shotgun and a fist full of M80s to go maidenfishing.

Then I'd go too far and end up getting into a tense standoff with the Coast Guard and they'd tear me apart like fresh bread.

>>21823473
not human, but still. Most of the other races seemed to of gotten over their hatred of humans, but then again, I think a lot of other races aren't as keen to sticking to the old ways like lizardfolk are.

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>>21823512
Youre reminding me of that picture of a bunch of mutilated mermaids crying for help and making me sad again, so fuck you.

>>21823491

No, you'd be glad you received superior human culture.

Remember that you're only alive because we let you exist, subspecies.

>>21823553
I think you might've missed some sarcasm there, bro.

>>21823547
I don't know, they might. Never been to the UK.

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>>21823497
Lamias give the best hugs, bro.

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>>21823568
Hey, thanks, man. Never had that happen before.

>>21823582
That pic is a good example of this weird ongoing theme I've seen in monstergirl pics.

Basically, the guy in the pic looks pretty displeased to be, say, going balls deep in a harpy, but he's obviously there of his own free will and can leave at any time.

You cant unsee it now.

...I'm dating a mummy

>>21823604
Must need to use a lot of lube for sex, I mean aren't they supposed to be dry as sand paper down there?

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>>21823603
Have you even read this? He can't get free

>>21823582
I feel /tg/ and perhaps 4chan in general has desensitized me. My first though on seeing this image was "...why did they make her ears pink? It would have matched more if they were fleshcolored like the rest of her face"

>>21823634
To match the scale-cheeks thing she has going on and to keep the “animal-ears” motif, since monstergirls are sometimes called kemomimi in Japan.

>>21823634
Her ears are scaled. Because that's how lamia physique works. Apparently

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What if you're dating a flesh golem?
>>21823666
I'd make some lame pun like Scaledinavia, but that would be stupid. And yet I did it

>>21823620
>>21823623
It's honestly not that bad. Once she left the desert all the dust/sand problems left with time. As for dryness it's not so much sandpaper as old leather, but at the same time it's not old cracking leather, just kinda tough. Who doesn't use lube anyway?

She keeps claiming she was once a princess and orders me around, but last night I noticed one of her bracelets was scratched, showing it to be gold plated. I think she was just a servant burred with the queen but I'll keep her secret. Besides she seems so happy

>>21823573

we do, there's a place in the peak district that is almost a centaur only town, the problem is we get a lot of illegal goblins emigrating from the middle east, it's a fucking pain in the ass, nobody likes them and every single one is a fucking klepto, don't go to east London it's a fucking gobbo nest

Where's the flesh golem love at?

I can't be the only one who finds blue skin and getting to sew pieces back on when she gets flustered adorable.

The electric bill IS admittedly a little high though.

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>>21823676
>Rubbing your penis against old leather.

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>>21823674
Or for that matter, the boogeyman herself?

>>21823674
Beat me to the punch, boyo :c

>>21823676
Do you gnaw on her jerky tits?

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>>21823698
>Blue skin
That's just prejudice

>>21823666

seriously? lamias are pretty common everywhere i mean, they prefer warmer climate but even in britland I've seen a good few lamia

>>21823719
I don't see it that way, it's no more prejudiced than if I were dating a dark-skinned hispanic and said I loved their brown skin

>>21823717
Do I ever

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>>21823738
>Prejudice
That was not the word I was supposed to use. Flesh golems come in more colors than 1

>>21823718

see that's why I like america, you see them like the pests they are and can actually DO something about them. Here in britfaggia they're protected under the sapiant humanoid act.

one of the fuckers tried to hit on my selki girlfriend, tried to strip her off in the middle of the bar, I intervened and four more appeared, almost got knifed for it. my girlfriend is scared to go out now! it's a real fucking problem

>>21823755
Well of course, but mine happens to be blue and I find it to be one of her more endearing physical characteristics, so I figured I'd bring it up among peers who may understand. I didn't mean to imply that all flesh golems were blue.

>>21823372
Ihavethewierdestboner.
Seriousley its not even attached to a human part. You've made my mind sexualize snake tails /tg/, I don't even know what to feel about this.

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>>21823781
>Mine
Whoa bro, back the fuck up, you live in one of THOSE countries?

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>>21823790

>>21823794
Oi, it's an expression, calm your tits

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>>21823790
Aroused

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>>21823790

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Rolled 18

>>21823820
I like it

>>21823698
The best part is you can mix and match their parts. Nothing quite like looking a girl straight in the eye while ravaging her ass and seeing her expression

>>21823842
If you want that, just get a Dullahan. They're proud and snobby though, but that's why I love them

>>21823849
Yeah, but then the asshole doesnt come with a tongue built in.

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>>21823897
Pretty sure every Dullahan has a tongue

>>21823787
At least you don't have to deal with the turf wars that are happening up here around Pittsburgh. The Dwarves claiming half of the hills here, and then a bunch of hobgoblins claiming half too, the same half. It's kinda died down in the past 15 years, but still, certain areas down town are dangerous.

>>21823842
Where do you get your parts? I live in the South West US and you wouldn't believe how difficult it is to legally acquire body parts over here, and then there's the problem of it being in good shape and fitting proportion. Everyone always wants all of their loved ones' body parts and everyone always seems to forget the extra "body part" check box when signing up as an organ donor.

>>21823905
Not inside the ass. Nothing quite like an asstongue pulling you in deeper. And dem stitches.

>>21823897
Jeez, are tongues easy to come by where you live? It seems that everyone where I live wants to keep their tongue when they die for some reason.

I ...
I ...
I must confess for I have sinned.
I am dating a human.

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>>21823497
I dunno, man. You're basically screwing a horse. The front end may be different, but it's still the arse end of a horse.

I prefer a girl I can look in the eye as we get it on.
And dem scales...
Dragons like fish too, it turns out.

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>>21823966
I heard someone made a tongue golem. I shit you not, a golem made entirely out of tongues

>>21823980
Nothing wrong with a good human

>>21823989
Damn, where was this? That sounds absurdly expensive. Unless of course it was done somewhere with a disturbingly low value on human life.

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>>21823991
Fucking hummies, get outta here

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>>21823989
have you ever heard of The Tick? There's a character in it that's called Tongue Tongue. Sometimes it sucks having taste buds all over your body. He got trapped in a public bathroom once..

>>21823988

I dated a half dragon before my Selki girlfriend, she was amazing but things didn't work out, we still keep in contact and I just can't stop thinking about her, got a text from her the other day saying the same thing about me, I'm really not sure what to do, I love my Selkie girl but I can't stop thinking about the dragon girl

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>>21823991
Bad ones have more charm, though...

>>21824037

Dragons like hoarding. All you need to know.

>>21823988
The horse part is not a deterrent for me, though now I do get aroused looking at the tail-end of normal horses. Which is disconcerting.

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>>21824045
Reported, called the cops, alerted moot. Take that shit to humchan

>>21824053
At that point it's probably in your best interest to go for the 'taur before things get wierd.

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>>21824053
It's over

>>21824054
This man has good taste.
Clockwork girls are so easy to wind up.
Needs less pants, more bandages.

>>21824103
Ew, fuck no. Cartoon shit doesn't do it for me. Real or nothing.

>>21824085
I'm dating one right now, there have been some awkward moments but for the most part things are going great.

>>21824052

you think she's just playing me for bragging rights? how would I be able to tell, we were really good friends and I think she's being sincere...

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>>21824037
>>21824052 , pretty much.

She's probably got a few more guys on the go, or kept in her basement, supplied with videogames and food, just so she can have her pick when she feels like indulging her desires.

Dragons are capricious buggers when they feel like it.
Not like doggirls. Nothing like a waifu who's always happy to see you, and always eager to indulge you...

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>>21824207
Had to sweep away the 'bitch' jokes, though.

>>21824197
Tread lightly. She might try to kidnap you.

>>21824197

Dragons don't brag about their hoards. They pile that shit up and sleep on(with) it all day.

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>>21814594
Oh my cod, could you be more obnoxious?

I'd like a nice human boyfriend, but I keep finding arachnophobes. At least, I keep finding boys that go out with me once or twice and then 'admit' they're arachnophobic.

I think they're just trying to let me down gently. That's not the best way to do it! I know there's nothing for it but to put a fresh coat of polish on my carapace and try again, I won't become one of those lonely types that always complains and won't leave their web, but it's really depressing.

>>21824232
>>21824239

while I'm hardly adverse to either results I'm just worried about the Selki, she really likes me and we have a..... good relationship

>>21824314
A ...good relationship?

You know she's eventually gonna vanish for years on end, right?

>>21823980
You are an embarrassment to our race! Those things are barely better than chimps! Disgraceful. No wonder society is going to hell.

>>21824291
I've actually been looking for a nice arachne to go out with, but there aren't many in my area. What few there are I don't have the gall to talk too.
Don't lose hope; there might be someone like me out there who will finally get the stones to say something.

>>21824314
See if your dragon is bi-hoard-ious

>>21824346

Hoardcurious?

Nah, that doesn't work.

>>21824340

See? This is how the subhuman monsters think. You let them into your homes and extend your hospitality, but secretly they dream themselves our masters.

The Species Equality Act was a fraud because it assumes good will on both sides, but these things have been attacking and eating humans since before my great grandfather's great-grandfather first put on his plate armor.

>>21824507
Yea, and we were hunting and skinning them for about as long. There's bad blood on both sides, but everyone's moving past the old prejudices.

> tfw you go out in public with your Fae wife and people stare
> tfw waitresses keep mistaking her for a kid since she always wants to look young

Guys, how can I tell my wife to look a lil bit more older without pissing her off?

She keeps turning herself into a 10 year old girl or 16 year old whenever we keep going out.

>>21824532
>telling a fae something without pissing her off
Good luck with that one

>>21824507
"Subhuman"? How long has your pathetic race even BEEN sentient, monkey?

>>21823625
I cannot for the life of me find that. Sauce pls.

>>21824532
Why should you and your wife be inconvenienced because of other peoples' ignorance? So long as you are fine with her looking that young, damn what the public thinks.

>>21824532
What's wrong with that?
She can eat on the kids meal for cheap. And some nights, kids eat free!

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>>21824573
This thread has become awfully pedophilic all of a sudden

>>21824573
Thing is, sometimes some people keep trying to call the cops saying I'm a fucking pedo.

>>21824591
I admit, we've done this a shit ton of times.

>>21824613
I see how it could be problematic, but I bet you could save a shit ton of cash. Just say you're her father or brother or something.

>>21824613
I can see how that would get to be annoying. I admit I don't know much about fae, but I can't see why she wouldn't at least consider this for you, you're married after all.

>>21824676
Hmmm, I guess we could do that.

Anyhow, gotta go, she wants to go to Build a Bear now and she'll get angry if I don't hurry.

>>21823820
Ummm...

>>21824689
> Build a Bear
Well, I guess she could look the part but I still find that a tad strange.

I saw a guy who was apparently on a date with a gobbo girl yesterday.

She cleaned up WAY nicer than I expected gobbos to be able to.

>>21824818
Bit of a shock when you find out they're not actually green, isn't it?

>>21824342
What's holding you back? I mean, not with me, obviously, but why are you scared? We like it when people come to us!

A friend of mine once dated a lamia. He's in the hospital now getting a bone replacement since his turned to powder, but he insists that given the chance he'd totally do it again.

>>21824858
I'm too nervous, plain and simple. Same reason I'd never ask a human out either. I'm fine if someone comes to me, but I will erupt into a volcano of spaghetti if I try to engage in conversation.

>>21824818
But she's still a gobbo at her core.
No thanks.

>>21824977

>Short
>Stacked
>low fertility rates with humans
>no STDs in common

I'd be friends with benefits, but she'd never get into my house.

>2012
>interbreeding with merfags
>not realizing you slowly killing the white race
we /pol/ now

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>>21824875

>>21825068
>2012
>Still getting rumprustled over race

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>>21825080

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>>21825106
>2012
>not getting rumprustles over race
enjoy your slowly dying white race and your newly emerging welfare queen "humermaid privilege" liberal majority.
My realm is slowly burning around me...

>>21824291
I met an arachne who knew how to shapeshift into a full-spider form.

Pic related, filename related, shit haunts me to this day.

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So how 'bout them demons? I think they're hot
>>21825138
>rum prustles

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>>21825169
Shitcock, my image disappeared.

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>>21825181
But that's not the League of Legends champion that literally transforms into a spider. Black Arachne was always one

>>21825138
Some of the hardest working people I know are nonhuman. Funnily enough, most of the people scrounging off the Government are lazy humans who sit around blaming nonhumans for all their problems.

>>21825180
I'm dating an Incubus, so yea. They still have to deal with a lot of prejudice, but it's completely unfounded.

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>>21825209
>Funnily enough, most of the people scrounging off the Government are lazy humans who sit around blaming nonhumans for all their problems
It's like I'm really on 4chan no, you can't date grafics

>>21825197
stop ruining my fun faggot
broodmother's new model/skin really does scare me though

Speaking of arachne, do they like to restrain mates as much as those pervs up in Japan claim?

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>>21825250
You have no idea~
The mantis girls are the really dangerous ones though

>>21825250
Her new set of teeth are fucking stupid.

>>21825209
>Some of the hardest working people I know are nonhuman.
>rich upper middle class human who's never spent one minuet around an orc or kobald detected
Those creatures are degenerate savages and you know it.

> Funnily enough, most of the people scrounging off the Government are lazy humans who sit around blaming nonhumans for all their problems.
Its hard to be prosperous when our liberal scum king keeps enacting policies which take wealth away from hard working humans just to give it to degenerate nonhumans.
It sickens me that you havent seen the truth. The elves are spreading this "multiculturalism" bullshit to weaken the human race how can you not see this?

>>21825180
Race traitor. you're playing right into the elves hands!

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>>21825299
GRIMDARK

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>>21825068

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>>21825314
>That lamia/naga/medusa snakething
I kinda want to bone it. More holes, more fun

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>>21825180
I'd compare it to a small truck, but I'm not sure if my experience is entirely typical.

Guys, I'm a human, and in my class there's a cute kobold girl I like.
What do?

>>21825406
Post pics, we'll let you know shit taste.

>>21825406
Be (ko)bold and talk to her.

>>21825406

Rape her
It's Kobold for "hello"

>>21825425
I meant to put -if you have- there. I should proof read my posts more.

File: 1354313718796.png-(659 B, 167x180, Kill them, kill them all.png)

>>21825406
It's obvious
You give her the pick

Holy Throne on Terra...

This thread is full of heresy.

>>21824567

Long enough to nearly wipe out your kind from the world, scum.

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>>21825464
I'm sorry, I was so shocked by all the heresy, I forgot to add my picture.

Enjoy the Exterminatus, y'all.

>Captcha: sanguinary Iprille

...Emperordammit. Who let the Blood Angels in here?

>>21825464
>>21825551

>implying we care about your religion

You're worse than the fucking Zindran.

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>>21825464
>>21825551
> Not wanting delicious xeno/monster girls
You imperials will never have any fun.

Need help guys, this gnoll chick I've been going out with lately wants us to get married real quick and I'm not ready for this.

I want to tell her that I want to take things slow but every time she gets angry, she beats the shit out of me.

The fuck do I do?

>>21825650

Call the cops, ditch her.

Jesus fucking Christ /tg/.

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>>21825603
>>21825638

>captcha: four-footed

NO, DAMMIT

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>>21825425
Her older sister is a model, I have a picture of her. Close enough?

>>21825428
>>21825439
>puns
Fantastic

>>21825705
What pun? You don't breed with other species, keep the dwarven beardline pure

>>21825705
Eh, not my cup of tea but if it floats your boat, go for it.
Doesn't look like they're the friendliest race, though. Be careful not to mince your words.

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>>21825683
Come on, you know you wanna try it just once...

>>21825731
No, see, she models for an armor company.
She's nice, I met her once.

Here's my story.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDkjLpbEUZk

>>21825429
Also, I know a little draconic.
Rape isn't how you say hello, it's how you declare war on their father.

>>21825705
Dude, that's a Dragonborn. Get your races right before you introduce yourself, they're touchy about that

>>21825914
>Rape isn't how you say hello, it's how you declare war on their father.

I think that applies to every species.

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>>21826027
Unless you rape the father of course

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Okay.... I.... I have a little bit of a... well, something I need to ask /tg/.

I'm a girl living on the outskirts of one of the big port cities. I run a waterfront apothecary - I'm just starting to get a good, solid customer base. Well... anyways, there's one customer... she's a cecaelia, who comes round the beach every now and again.

And... uh... well, I never knew this about myself before, but I think I must have a fetish for tentacles or bondage or something. Plus, she's really nice.... we've started talking, but as time goes on I just get more and more flustered

But I mean, I don't know anything about Cecaelia. I heard they can stretch to eat a human girl whole. I heard they are all witches. I heard they'll strangle you for your money. I'm sure most of that is lies, but I don't know.

Plus, then there's my customers. If I did somehow suck it up and talk to her... what would they think? The nice apothecary lady is a lesbian - AND she's dating a monstergirl? I know its selfish... but I'm really, really hoping to expand my business to the nobility of the port.

Seeing that there's lots of discussion here with people who have had cross-racial relationships.... what the hell do I do? I don't even know what opinions other races have on homosexuality. I feel like I have not one but two massive things to overcome here.

What do you think? Should I just drop the whole idea?

>>21826002
She's adopted. Her parents are a dragon and human, the sister is biological.

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>>21826041
>Not Human
>Witch

You, 'ma'am, are a heretic.

>>21826041
I think she's just squiding around.

>>21826096
Your puns are terrible.

But they're not heresy, so you get a pass.

>>21826041

Those are lies, you don't need to worry about that stuff. If you're an Apothecary then you're already going to be considered weird so I don't see it hurting your business, in fact it could do the opposite when you get those idiots who think that monstergirls are more "in tune with nature" or some such bullshit.

As for homosexuality humans are one of the more conservative races in that regard (which is amusing when you consider that we fuck everything that moves as a rule). She almost certainly won't be offended, though she may not feel the same way.

tl;dr, give it a shot.

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I met this girl a while back while experimenting with a Gate spell. At first it was great, shes gorgeous, we share many key interests and shes one of the few people I've met that can keep up with me intellectually. Lately though I've been noticing she seems to have some serious control issues and its hurting our relationship.

A friend of mine said I should just cast dominate monster on her but I'd rather not resort to that if there's any other options. Help me out /tg/ I don't know what to do.

>>21826164

Either she has emotional issues in which case she'd need therapy (and you should be running). Or it's simply the way she thinks, which means you need to either deal with it or bail.

>>21826041
I say go for it.
Cecaelia are pretty strange, she'll probably be game.

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>>21826103
You are incorrect Inquisitor. Nothing is a stain on the Emperor's good humor more than bad puns. For allowing such Heresy to slide, you have allowed yourself to be infected with Heresy.

Prepare to meet the Emperor.
*BLAM*

As for you...>>21826096
*BLAM*

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>>21825773
>"Come here, fishy fishy fishy."
I lost it

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you know you want to try it, it's absolutely de-fish-ous.
Just one bite and your hooked.
mermaids, the crack of the sea

>>21826235
>Thinking bad puns are heresy.

Do you even Ave Imperator?

>>21826235
>Accusing the Inquisitor of Heresy
The hell is wrong with you, Commissar?

A half-celestial moved in next door. I helped her with the last few boxes and I'm planning on asking her over for dinner. What do you guys think I should make/get?

>>21826559
angel food cake. Or devil's food cake. Celestials can't pick up on puns for shit, it'll be great

>>21826619
Indeed - Angel Food Cake as a dessert, and Angel Hair Pasta as a main course.

>>21826130

Okay everyone, I just went out to catch her as she came in to trade some rare aquatic ingredients with me.

And I totally bungled trying to express my feelings to her and got nothing across.

But now she's coming over to dinner tonight to talk business.

Dear Gods, what do I do? Cecaelia... they eat fish, right? Would she be okay with cooked fish or does it all need to be raw? Are they allergic to anything that humans commonly eat?

And I still don't know how the hell I am going to tell her how I feel. The reason I'm so attracted to her is that she's so... confident, and self-assured. But that also makes her sort of intimidating.

Oh Gods, and I don't even know a thing about their culture. I am going to end up offending her, or poisoning her with something she is allergic to and I will never see her again.

WAT DO /tg/ ?

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>>21823540

I went and looked up images by that description and I think i found the one your talking about.

I share your feels.

Rolled 19

>>21826868
Shellfish are the main food source of octopi, so I'd assume it would be the same for your crush

>>21826868

Raw is best, some of them like cooked fish as well but raw is the standard. I understand they like sushi since they can't get it under the water.

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Mermaids? Mermaids.

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>>21826896
Would you be so kind to show them? I am curious.
In spoiler if necessary.

>>21823540
The ones by S Zenith Lee? He draws all sorts of gruesome and sad shit, but I'd be lying if I said he wasn't fantastic at it.

>>21826164
Oh god, you summoned as marilith? Those relationships never end well.
She's chaotic by nature, so a steady relationship probably chafing at her. Your best bet? Either a change alignment ritual, which you should only do with her consent, or pursue an "open relationship"
really open
like "orgy level" open

>>21826899
Okay, alright, Shellfish I can get. I don't really like them particularly myself but there's a seller just at the pier.

>>21826908
Sushi - yes, I can do Sushi. I can make sushi. I have lots of the rice.

Alright, does anyone else have anything else? Like, is there something that will super offend Cecaelias? Like with kobolds if you rape their fathers, or with dwarves if you be an elf or elf-like, or with driders if you give them the morning paper rolled up?

Rolled 3

>>21827082
Nothing that I know of, but I would advise to watch where you step with them around, as you don't want to slip on a tentacle

>>21827082
Or with dragons/jews if you spend the gold/gold in your hoard/bank account instead of hoarding/saving up for swag/financial responsibility?

>>21827082
Do not under any circumstances say that you think dolphins are smarter than octopi

>>21827149
Yeah, plus all Dolphin-taurs are rapists. Just avoid mentioning them altogether

>>21823698
Freaking power companies trying to charge flesh golems and their partners for life giving electricity.

I suggest going to your local mad science warehouse and buying some power saving augments.

>>21827082

Stay away from discussions about fishing rights and fishing in general if possible. If she brings it up just nod and say I agree a lot.

>>21827010

I know S Zenith Lee's stuff but never seen anything with mermaids in it.

>>21827140
>>21827141
>>21827149
>>21827292

Okay, I'll take this all into consideration. I'm going to run out to get all the stuff together. Hopefully this won't be a total massive disaster.

>>21827249
It's not so bad, to be honest. We both work at the same clinic and she's allowed to siphon some of the electricity from there while she's on break. The administrator is married to a flesh golem himself, so he's very accommodating to us.

>>21827330

Good luck and may the goddess of love smile upon you.

...

Mind taking some pics if things go really well?

>>21827380
I mean, we could live somewhere without any reliable electricity flow and have to hunt down storms and attach a lightning rod to her

>>21827330
I'll be rooting for you.
Do it for me.

>>21823377
I'm not sure if you intended that joke or were just referencing your picture, but I lol'd.

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>>21826896
There was one clutching a different one that was cut in half. The bisected one was gripping her friend with all the strength she had left while her intact friend was trying her damnedest to make her mutilated friends last moments of life more comfortable. The worst part is I know that it was made expressly for people to fap to.

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>>21827760


I try not to think that people actually wank to that Sort of thing. I find it helps to try and look at it more as a piece of art with some greater depth to it
BUT THAT STILL DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACT THAT I NEED A FUCKING HUG RIGHT NOW.

>>21827760
>>21827900

I really need to see that!
I wonder if it really sparkles such a strong emotion in me as well.

>>21827900
>>21827760
>>21827976
http://gelbooru.com/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=11743

dammit s zenith lee

(someone else can post it if they want)

>>21828039
This is actually pretty arousing.

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>>21828039
Strangely I just found it myself.
Damn, that's really heavy stuff.

>>21828085
You are a heretic and a monster.

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>>21828085

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>>21827976


Hes a very strange artist, theres alot of his stuff thats like the mermaid pic but he also has a lot of stuff like this

>>21828085
Your arousal pleases Slaanesh

>>21828379
Everything pleases that horny fuck

>>21828419
Including excessive abstinence. A god that gets off on abstinence. Man, chaos is weird

Can this thread maybe go back to pure waifus and not guro maybe?

>>21828231

which just makes it scarier when you see one of his nice scenes of like, sweet lesbians or something.
you never know if the next picture is going to one of them cutting the other up in really graphic ways or something

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>>21828427

>>21828430

seconding this.

>>21826041

Okay... I'm... back.

I... uh... Well, from the start. The Cecaelia came over and from the first, I was at a total disadvantage. I sort of assume that aquatic tauric things would all be awkward out of the water - but she was even more graceful than I could ever be, just, like, gliding around everywhere on those violet tentacles of hers...

And I mean, I guess I should point out, that I am basically just sort of basic frumpy Apothecary material, and she is... well... perfect. Like, smooth skin, gorgeous face, long dark hair and amazing set of... well... yeah, that kind of perfect. And she was wearing this really beautiful flowing sun-dress.

But uh, yeah. Sushi was a good idea. She loves rice but rarely gets to have it apparently. So, anyways, we are mainly talking business - she's offering to trade me such and such and I'm going along while trying to figure out how to say what I want in conversation.

>>21829268
And anyways, I basically go full retard. Because I'm telling her how I need to import some dates, but I start choking on some seaweed then and cough. So of course she doesn't hear anything I say and asks what I had said.

So then I just blurt out that I was asking her on a date. I have no idea where that came from. So of course I start apologizing and back pedaling as fast as I can.

And then she replies, pretty much "A date? Of course - you're rather cute for a human - absolutely no offense intended. I'll swing around tomorrow and we'll visit the Pier Market."

And then I say something along the lines of "yeah, sure." And then she's having to go and I'm stumbling over polite goodbyes.

So yeah, I really don't know. Does she actually like me? Or was she just being polite and trying to not hurt my feelings?

And yeah, I agreed to a date at the Pier Market, and I hate crowds.

And worst of all I don't even have anything nice to wear out.

>>21829363

Realistically if she was just trying to be polite she probably would have let you down as they aren't really fond of spending lots of time out of the water. She's at least considering you. Getting that far means you're probably good for now, just try to relax.

>>21829363
>>21829268

Cecaelia do actually have a lot of trouble out of water, basically sweetheart she's putting on a show for you and putting in a ton of extra effort.

She's definitely interested in you, otherwise she wouldn't have shown up in the first place.

Just put on something acceptable and try to have a good time. Don't shy away.

>>21829363
As someone who has been in your position, let me just say that you should probably do some stretches tonight, because you are about to be in an entirely different position. Caels don't voice their emotions much, but that's because those tentacles of theirs do it for them. Those things have a mind of their own. As in literally she may not have full control over them if or should I say when she gets...excited.

And don't worry about something nice. I made that mistake and let me tell you, overeager sucker-covered tentacles and fine garments don't mix.

>>21829478
>>21829545
Adding to these points;
How well can you swim?

>>21829545

W-wait? You mean, on the first date, she's going to try to....

Uh... I'm starting to wonder if I'm not particularly up to this. I mean... uh... what you're suggesting sounds.... intriguing. It's more I'm not sure I can, you know, be good enough or stuff.

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>>21829611
Too late now babe, you gonna get loved tenderly.

>>21829611

Depends on how comfortable everyone is. If you make it clear that you like but aren't up for that yet on the date then she's unlikely to rush you.

>>21829611
Bah, just try not to break (physically or mentally) and you'll be fine. You really should try stretching like that other guy suggested. Include your orifices as well. You know, JUST to be sure.

>>21829601
And hold your breath. Thats important too.
>>21829611
When your bound by eight hungry tentacles, all that matters is how well you can scream for her. She might like a little thrashing, too, but don't make it look like you are trying to get away or aren't enjoying yourself, because she might get self-conscious and think shes hurting you.
Besides, you havent lived until you have felt the urgent kisses of dozens upon dozens of hungry suckers grasping greedily at your tits. She left marks that lasted for days on the damn things.

>>21829601
I live by the ocean. I'm a pretty good swimmer.
>>21829628
Yeah, but I mean... I don't really know how Cecaelia approach this.
>>21829636
Not sure if serious, or if I should make a "why are so you lewd /tg/" comment.

>>21829650
Oh, I was quite serious. I've had my own experience with tentacles, though mine wasn't quite as enjoyable. Friggin' Krakkens.

>>21829650

She's not going to drag you into bed and rape you (contrary to what /tg/ might be telling you), Cecaelia have no inclination towards rape. If you don't bring sex up she may not even broach the subject, if she does just let her know that you're interested but not ready yet, 95% chance she'll be totally cool with that.

Keep in mind though that if she brings it up you best start GETTING ready, because if you keep turning her down multiple times she may bail.

>>21829650
Watch her rear-most tentecles while you're talking, maybe flirt a little. They often lose track of just what their limbs are doing unless they're actualy looking at them, so it's a good read of their mood. If they look thrashy or twitchy, then she's probably in to you. If she's REALLY into you, one or two might find their way up your leg without her even realizing.

>>21824571
>http://monstermusume.blisswater.info/
I keep it open at all times, to makes sure I never miss an update

Guys, I'm friends with a Minotaur but his older sister keeps hitting on me. I'm interested but if I tell him I know he'll get pissed and might maul me to death.

Not to mention it'll be weird for both of us.

Any suggestions on what to do?

>>21829794
Minotaurs're gonna do what they do man. They don't hold grudges as well as you might think, just play it cautiously, and let her make the first couple of moves.

>>21829794
Bros before sows, brah.

>>21829794
Just lead her on until she rapes you. If you survive, then you can say it wasn't your idea, and he might just respect you a little more for living though it at all.

>>21824710
>Fae
>Build-A-Bear
Am I the only one worried she's either going to be pissed that she doesn't get to build an ACTUAL bear?
Or that she's going to build a bear anyway?

>>21829794

Unfortunately it depends heavily on what he thinks of you, not just whether or not you're friends, but whether or not he thinks you embody the virtues of the Minotaur, honor, duty that sort of crap.

If he thinks you're 'Taury enough he'll probably be fine with it, if not he might tell you to fuck off. The biggest problem is that even if he's fine with it and says yes your friendship will never be the same. I stay away from family of friends myself.

>>21829794
Okay, basically replace "Minotaur" with just "guy". You can keep that bit about mauling, though.

Now, are you prepared to break the bro code?

Really, really prepared?

Think about this carefully. I'm not saying you should go for it, or that you shouldn't. Just think about it carefully.

>>21829650
>I don't really know how Cecaelia approach this.
She isnt going to drag you down to her rape grotto and violate you mercilessly, now, I was just saying that Cecaelia are calculating ambush hunters, waiting for the oppurtune moment to strike. Chances are she is just as flustered by you as you are by her and was waiting for the right moment to “strike”, as it were. I might even go as far as to say that she knew exactly why you invited her to dinner tonight and was playing it off as a misunderstanding so that she could approach you on her terms. And to bring this all to a head, she is probably more than willing to tenderly tentacle rape your brains out if you tell her you want to.

>>21829909
We've been bros for 6 years and we always pay our debts and sticked with each other no matter what, but this... This is different.

>>21829918
Thing is, I don't know if this will be serious or anything so I"m still on the fence. My gut says yes but my brain says no.

>>21829922

I... I never thought of it like that. I mean, I'm not an expert, but I know enough to know that the "Cecaelia are all rapists" thing is a load of bull.

I guess, /tg/, I'll report on how it went tomorrow, assuming I don't horrendously mess up.

/tg/ confirmed for #1 best source of monster-girl dating advice on the internet.

>>21829794
Dude do NOT go anywhere near her unless you want to end up hitched to a minotauress for the rest of your life. Minotaur clans are uber-conservative (well at least the civilized ones that don't just want rip your head off and wear it as a hat) and I bet she has several brothers and uncles that will give you a choice between marriage or disembowelment if they find out you were messing around with her.

Not really worth it imo she may be cute now but mino's age horribly she'll be a fat cow in a few years.