Rolled 93

Forget about the pizza and go play some back alley dice with your ultramarines.

Rolled 95

Lure them out with Hostess cupcakes

File: 1353761956435.jpg-(529 KB, 688x1044, black templar.jpg)

Rolled 58

Call up the Black Templars and let them know THE CRUSADE FOR THE PIZZA HAS BEGUN

File: 1353762304170.jpg-(30 KB, 300x225, 300px-Telion.jpg)

Rolled 97

Those damn orks! They dishonor our honor! Call in Sergeant Telion, we need his skill and experience for this task.

Rolled 19

>>21727704
seconding

Just order more pizza. We don't need a full scale battle right before the picnic

Rolled 65

>>21727750
but muh mastercrafted pizza

Rolled 82

I fuck the eldar and shoot the tau

>>21727734
>>21727734
Enraged with the theft of your beloved Pizzas and the dishonor that fell on your chapter you do what you must do.
You call for Scout Sergeant Telion and ask him to lend his skills for the crusade of Pizzas.
The Tau and Eldar seeing as this picnic was ruined so was the chance for peace decide to join in and help(6th Ed Allies it all makes sense now).

>>21727827
This is now my personal canon for why marines and tau are BBF

Rolled 7

>>21727827

Ok, let Telion start tracking for the orks.

Rolled 42

>>21727827
Track the orks down and take our pizzas back! We need to Mack on the tau and eldar ladies while we do it too

Rolled 11

>>21727827
give an inspiring speech with a few too many references to tits and pizza

Rolled 100

>>21727918

this.

File: 1353765215123.jpg-(8 KB, 224x217, 1350780985951.jpg)

is this dead?

>>21727983
>OH GOD WHY

>>21727918
>>21727983
With your great chapter along with the Eldar of Craftworld(Whose name will be chosen with the rolls between 30-60) and the Tau waiting for your order and wisdom concerning the theft you decide to give an inspiring speech about the pizzas and a few hints of Eldar and Tau Bosoms.
Your speech has definitely increased the morale of the chapter along some awkward applause from the other two races.
What is the first thing you shall do?

Rolled 12

>>21728043

CALL IN THE GOD DAMN FUCKING ANGRY MARINES AND LET THEM KNOW THAT SOME FAGGOT COCK SUCKING CUNT BITCHES STOLE YOUR FUCKING PIZZAS AND INTERRUPTED THE GRAND-FUCKING-SLAM OF ALL ORGIES AND TO MEET YOUR BLUE ASSES UP FOR SOME XENOS PURGING

Rolled 19

>>21728043
Take the eldar of the craftworld Nipples and the tau of the boin'tit sect chasing those rascally orks and get our pizza back!

Then once we catch them challenge them to arm wrestling for our food

Rolled 88

>>21728043
craftworl gaybuttsecks

Rolled 7

>>21728043
call the orks and challenge them to arm wrestles for the pizza

just in case, craftworld shiny happy people

Rolled 4

Begin scouting out the ork location and call up the Orkz challenging them to a game of Bloodbowl

Rolled 85

Request a game of backgammon with the orkz for the pizza.

>>21728097
>>21728075
Alongside the Eldar of Gaybuttsecks(closest to 45 sadly) and the Tau of the Boin'tit sect you go and start the chasing as their ships have just been tracked and the orks are in a sector with your pizzas.
With the Tau and Eldar in your ships you begin your crusade for the pizzas.
As your ship has enter warp space a helmsman tells you that the ETA is 12 hours.

So for 12 hours what will you do?

Rolled 16

>>21728304
ask the eldar farseer if they know what their craftworld name means in gothic, and what it means in eldar.

Talk about how much everyone hates 'nids

>>21728304
fancy about how you like the name of the craftworld and that you'd like to get into that "stuf" for "research". Everybody would be welcome to join.

>>21728340
god damn it, show the roll!

Rolled 70

>>21728340
sad typo is sad :(

Rolled 47

>>21728333
rolling for this

Rolled 64

>>21728333
this plus show that you were _really_ into pizza and that the ultramarines are going crazy without it in form of a 10 hour long "littany of tomato covered dough slice".

Use your integrated interdimensional vox and teleport device and demand doomguy's help.

Rolled 27

>>21728409

Rolled 83

>>21728304
start to cry for 12 hours

Rolled 46

>>21728409
wrong field dude, have a roll

Rolled 88

>>21728396
I'm starting to like that

Rolled 4

>>21728430
Oh dear god thank you for saving us from crying for 12 hours

Rolled 80

>>21728304

Call up captain Titus and see how he's doing, you haven't heard from him in a while.

Rolled 59

>>21728304

Play a game of Pathfinder

Rolled 10

>>21728396
>>21728430
Oh, and take out the real weapons.
Like the bfg12000. And the blackhole grenades from the experimental laboratory
Let these orks know and feel what fear truly is.

Rolled 28

Masturbate non-stop in front of every one, no lube, no breaks, high way to hell.

Rolled 100

>>21728304
the ships captain gathers the whole crew to inform them, that any sanitary installation is malfunctioning and cannot be used at all, just as everybody realises that they have urgent busines to do and that it would put dishonor onto everyone not using the right installation!

>>21728493
oh good lord

>>21728430
>>21728333
Aboard the Battle Barge Emperor Incarnatus you begin to read out of the Codex Culinary about Pizzas following the Litany of tomato covered dough slice.
After 10 hours of talking of pizza you hear the Ultramarines say "Ave" in your Barge and the other ships.
However seeing as you have two hours left you decide to talk to Farseer Tits Mcgee(Refer to previous thread) and ask the history of the Craftworlds Name.
Surprised she tells you that the Craftworlds name is in honor of the Warp Spiders as they always strike behind enemy lines and what not.
You nod your head as if you agree while resisting the urge of telling the meaning and the action of Gaybuttsecks in gothic.
(Remember guys im choosing the first 10 rolled posts so be quick)

Rolled 70

>>21728505

Stare at the tau tits for the remainder of the next 2 hours, occasionally poking them and watching them bounce.

Rolled 88

>>21728505
We prepare for battle by preforming the ceremonial circle jerk

Rolled 79

>>21728535
We then ejaculate on the eldar breast.

Rolled 2

>>21728505
chat about hating 'nids and chaos, to find a common ground for peace.

Rolled 8

>>21728535

Battle Brother, why not command the xenos to jerk for us?!

Rolled 37

>>21728551
Who's to say they aren't allowed in the circle.

Rolled 80

>>21728535
Last one to ejaculate get's honors.

Rolled 40

>>21728505

Check for any heretics/chaos that may be in our mist prior to going to battle, also wake up Steve the Librarian, nigga always sleeps late.

>>21728505
for the remaining 2 hours: >>21728396
(of course without the eldar part)

>>21728493
>>21728505

doesn't this count since it was posted before?

Rolled 59

>>21728582

>>21728595
He's only accepting the first 10 rolls. The 100 came in to late.

Rolled 46

Call Doomguy for assistance.

Rolled 85

>>21728578
this

Rolled 64

>>21728578
wake of "steve the librarian", the only librarian that uses his abilities to become drunk.

>>21728631
Hah Circle Jerk Wins it.

>>21728635
doomguy post got in for 10 anyway

>>21728656
Yep but the Circle Jerk got the highest. No bring the eldar tits to splooge on.

>>21728535
>>21728544
>>21728551
>>21728567
>>21728573
Seeing as you are the host to the Eldar and the Tau you decide to show them an ancient tradition of terra from the Islands of the Rising Sun.
The Eldar and the Tau not wanting to deny due to being inside a ship with 300 marines they willingly agree to said tradition.
You tell them that the tradition consist of at least ten men who circle a group of women they then stroke their Penises till it reaches climax and showers the women and the last men to ejaculate will receive the honor of being Emperors most toughest.
The Ethereal and the Farseer looking worried complied anyway.
You personally invite Ethereal T'ub-Cid and Farseer Tits Mcgee to join your circle, you even tell the tau that stroking another mans penis is a sign of trust and everlasting brotherhood, The Ethereal smiles at you and declines the offer but you see others doing it as well.
After you received reports from sergeants that all were ready you commence the said tradition.
----------------------
After 2 hours of masturbating with the eldar and tau and showering their females you have arrived at the Sector where the orks are.

Now what?

>>21728707
Tell the surfs to bring the cod piece of ultramar.

Rolled 7

>>21728731
forgot to roll.

>>21728707
Bust out the kilometer long megaphone and announce the Warboss you have "cum", and are now have 300 hungry space marines eager to eat pizza. Let them know they can hand over the pizza peacefully, or be exterminated

Rolled 65

>>21728751

shit, forgot my dice.

Rolled 44

>>21728707
Challenge them to a game of Blood Bowl. Winner gets the pizza.

Rolled 61

>>21728794

Seconding Blood Bowl. We have to communicate with the Greenskins in the only language they understand.

Rolled 27

>>21728707
We have come and also arrived to return our pizza!
Orks will be challenged to a series of competitions chosen by each side and winner takes the pizza.

Rolled 46

>>21728707
finally wake teve the librarian who only uses his abilities to become drunk and ask him for advide. also, tell the eldar farseer that he/she should cooperate in any ways with the librarian

Rolled 71

>>21728854

This.

Rolled 24

>>21728839
Seconded

>>21728860
>>21728854
Seeing as you are nearing the planet you decide to wake up Steve one of Librarian.
However you do not see Steve anywhere and decide to ask the Librarians where he is.
They tell you that he is back at Ultramar because he was sleeping through the whole picnic.
Dissapointed you regret not calling an overall squad and company check to see if you're entire force is here.
You then ask the Farseer who is still cleaning her face about some advice on how to confront the Orks.

Rolled 21

>>21728976
the farseer, clearly in extacy after the previous events, suggests to gather up on the bridge to sacrifice the astropaths in order to enhance their abilities to locate the pizza.

Rolled 28

>>21728976
Tits Mcgee suddenly remember about some hidden warpstones while she presses them out of her uterus, somehow strangly aroused.
But the Tau seem to fear the eldars act.

Rolled 11

>>21728976
We beat them by sneaking in and replacing our pizza with old tyres

Rolled 20

>>21728976
We should activate the necron beacon to distract the orks, so we can get the pizza

Rolled 47

Challenge the warboss to a head butting contest for the pizzas.
Our might skull hardened by years of using the same tactics shall protect us

Rolled 80

>>21728976
clearly seeing that you are the half-assed ultramarine in the whole sector, she looks into the future only to see a long lost squat, who was held in statis, to juggle with 4 pieces of the said pizza.

>smelly soggy circles

... huh. I always thought Orks would love pizza. It's always seemed like their kind of thing to me.

File: 1353776146669.jpg-(216 KB, 771x800, minipaintermini[1].jpg)

Rolled 30

im just bumping this awesome thread!

Rolled 1

>>21729328
Half assed nothing
We are pimp lord of macragge with our slap a bitch hands

Rolled 41

>>21729328
not bad. i'd vouch for that.

Rolled 69

>>21728976
>>21729396
Before she can even answer you slap her in the face while screeming from the top of your lungs: YOU LOOK LIKE PIZZA TO ME!

Rolled 88

>>21729328
I'd like to add: All crew should scan for an ork ship to charge the battle barge into them.

Rolled 41

>>21729448

This, dear Sir or Madam.

>>21729448
>>21729328
While the Farseer is using her Clairvoyance you contact the bridge to scan for any ork ships and ram it the second they are spotted and you also tell them to send the same message to the other two Battle Barges to do the same.
The Farseer done with her clairvoyant ability tells you that the future is clouded and that the only thing she saw was "a squat looking human with a rotund appearance juggling 4 pizzas"
You put your hand on her shoulder and say "Shhh there are no such things as squats"
Farseer Tits being confused at what you did mentioned that there is nothing else she can see sadly.

(Well Im signing off for now and I will be archiving this as Marneus Calgar Quest 2)
(And oh yeah congrats on not asking Marneus to rape to everything)

is this thread still alive?

>>21729600
Part 2 ended so say I
come back 2moro for the space battle & planetfall