>>21710520
Otab's player requires sleep!
Feel free to auto my 4 dogs, and try to keep me out of direct combat.

>>21710520
>>21710480
"Then I know what I have to do. A chance to stop a day where the very day is black with darkness? How couldn't I take that. I got the hammer to drive it in." Alvaro said, hefting his war hammer. "But I need the stake to drive it in."
>>21710491
"Agreed. There must be another way to get through. Extreme measures must be called for."

>>21710533
Well dang. Should we continue, or put it off till a later day...?

This is a reasonable place to stop I guess.
I guess tomorrows will be Part 2.5: Thank Harder

Want to divvy up the treasure so far here in Fort Kickass?

>>21710566
Sure. Brandon tries to buy the pendent out of his share, if he can't make it I'll loan him enough to do so.

>>21710520
>>21710536
Well, if you run 7 hour sessions, you shouldn't be too surprised at players afking out!

>>21710561
>>21710566
If you're doing that, add it to my sheet, as I am resting. I have to say good game.

Well, the Knights of the Order of Toys for Tots would like their uniforms back, but pay you 5gp each for recovering them. 5 spears and 3 swords are 45gp.
You also have 500gp, a 50gp pendent, and 5gp worth of scotch.
Total is 650gp. That's 130gp each, or 65 for retainers.
Brandon's share is 15gp and the Bahoment pendent

So, anyone on /tg/ want to play as US marines going on raids to secure presents for needy children?

>>21710605
DM, you still here? Just level, should I roll my second hit die now?

>>21710634
Yes, roll it!

Rolled 1

>>21710640
Alright, finally level two. Two spells a day, here I come.

>>21710647
Well, I'm staying firmly in the back it seems. I think d6's hate me.

>>21710633

GRUNTS 8hp, AC 4
Armed with Rifle with Bayonet (1d8 damage when fired, 1d6+1 to stab). +1 to hit with either

OFFICERS 8hp AC4
Armed with Sword (1d8+1 damage) and Revolver (1d6 damage). +1 to hit with either

SHARPSHOOTERS 4hp AC 5
Armed with Sword Bayonet (1d6 damage) and Rifle (1d8 damage, +2 to hit). Can sneak, and backstab for double damage.

MEDIC 7hp 5AC
Armed with Truncheon (1d6) and Pistol (1d6)
Can turn undead. 1 first level Cleric spell.

>>21710649
Anyway, I got work tomorrow so I'll try and see if I can catch the thread tomorrow. If not, bot me through this. I'll be tossing hammers like a mad man, Ileen and Brandon using melee or ranged if the opponent looks too dangerous, and the dogs attacking unless its a surprise round. Alvaro firmly wants to kill the vampire before leaving, but will leave with the vampire alive if he has to.

Anyway, was a fun ride. See you later DM.

>>21710696
Note: This is assuming that I can't leave the current place because we're in the middle of a dungeon. Won't force the others to take me along if I'm not there and they don't have to.

>>21710707
No, your character can stay above and leave with the Marines

File: 1353657109463.gif-(80 KB, 384x288, 84_American_Eagle_crying.gif)

Bumping for AMERICA

>>21711053
Americuh fuck yeah.

hallo! Anyone home?

Vampire killer bump

>>21715093
I'unno. Anyone wanna trade stories?

I guess we're at Fort Kickass.

Hi Jenai. Hi others.

>>21719566
"So this one time - this one time, I had a dream.

See.. I was inside of this dark place, but I could see. And I wasn't alone - there were others in there with me. we were eating something - I don't remember. But all of a sudden, there's this blinding light, and shouting. I grabbed up a spear, but I got knocked down, and then I can see this guy's face - I think it might've been an elf. And he says something in this scary, music language, and there's dwarves, and a man - he's going from each of my friends and he's slitting their throats.

And then I see me. I see myself walk in, laughing, pulling knives out of my friends - then I see them, my friends, they're goblins. And then I came up to me - I mean, dream me, came up to me, and grabbed me - and I saw in my eyes, I mean other me's eyes - my reflection. I was a monster, too. And then I woke up.

Ever since then, I can't bring myself to kill the poor bastards outside of battle. I think that's what saved this guy, and Yrin and Dgure."

Jenai pats Gurx on the top of the head.

>>21719839
Odd.

Whenever I have dreams, I'm always fighting something. *stretch* Last night, I dreamt I was fighting natives. I had rays of light from my eyes that turned the natives into ... don't laugh ... cotton wool.
Then I sold all the cotton wool for lots of money.
And then I woke up.
All my dreams are like that.

I wanna get lots of loot and xp. For instance. Suppose there's someone who can take any person you bring 'em, rehabilitate the person, and sell the person as a retainer for combat.
How much gp do you think you'd be worth?
What about me?
What about Alvaro?
What about these guys in the fort?
What about La... oh, wait, you never met her.

Well. There's a Lady at the Pilgrim's fort. I think she'd fetch quite a bit of money. The Pilgrims did sort of attack us.
They claim religious means - that we didn't observe the Sabbath (that means 'day of rest'), and that we drank 'to excess'. I don't think peace is possible so long as we adventure 7 days a week.
So I was thinkin'. If we loot their town, and we can take people alive, how much gp they'd be worth.

That's what's on my mind.

>>21719936
"That sounds .. incredibly evil."

Jenai fingers a knife uncomfortably.

>>21720060
Eh? I don't get it. Evil's when you hurt people for fun. This isn't hurting people and it isn't for fun, it's for money, so it's not evil!

>>21720099
"How is selling someone into someone else's service not hurting them? And don't you have fun when you get money?"

>>21720248
This was me.

>>21720099
[Otab Learns: Jenai dislikes Slavery!]

>>21720248
Um, how is it hurting them?
What difference does it make to a person if they're in someone's service or not? Either way you do a job, get fed. If you're a lot more valuable than a regular person, you do a job, and get paid.
Gettin' sold into service gives you a job. And the more valuable you are, the more valuable your job!
People who live their own lives often don't know what to do with it or squander it anyway, so what difference would it make if it's someone else who uses it for them? Only difference is that it gives 'em a purpose, and I say that's a good thing.

>>21720248
A guy once said to me, "Life is pain". Now, I don't think that's true, but he has a point. People suffer when they're free, suffer when they're slaves, and find peace when they're dead.
Is that why you became an adventurer? To bring death to things, stop their hurt, and grant 'em peace? And, you're a silent killer, so they die as quick as possible?
Noble.

>>21720318
>>21720291
"Wow! Well I guess I never looked at it that way!"

Jenai makes a point of sarcasm; "Gurx, Yrin, what do you say let's tie our friend Otab here up and sell him to someone who wants him?"

Gurx and Yrin snicker but don't get up. Jenai raises an eyebrow at Otab.

"What would you feel like if one adventure Fig and Echo and Ruby and I tied you up and sold you off to a good home?"

>>21720399
Depends. Do I get to loot stuff for xp and gold? If so, be cool with it. If not, then I disagree with your choice of home - can sell me for more if you take advantage of what I'm good at.
Why, you know someone that needs a Magic user?
Hey. I have an idea. You can come with me! Like, we can both get sold, together. That way we can keep gettin' loot and xp together.

Plus, you've gotta look at the big picture. It's not just about the slave, it's also about the master. You can't just think of the slave's happiness. Slavemaster's gotta find happiness in life too!
So yep, some days you're the slave. Other days, you're the master! Gotta take the bad with the good if you wanna end up on a mountain o' gold coins, I think.

And wouldn't you like to be the master of your own squad? Your own army? I'm not sure why you adventure, but whatever you adventure for, surely it'd be better if ye had more than just 2 guys working for ya.

Why are you an adventurer, anyway?

>>21720399
Oh, since ye asked?
Yep, if I get less gold and loot in my new home than if I got while adventurin', I'd be unhappy with it.
But if I got more gold and loot in my new home, I'd be happy with it.
*shrug* What, are you planning on doing something to stop me from getting loot and xp?

>>21720460
"Mainly, because I can't stand being bored, and I'm better at this than at other things - I mean, I could be an innkeep, or maybe work a dock, even try my hand at stealing big time, but I'm not good at those things - and I'd have to be under someone's thumb - and I don't want to be under anyone's thumb. Ever. This way, I'm independent, I get to help folks, kill monsters, find the shiniest bits and baubles. Hell, even civilize some of these."

Jenai prods Gurx with a foot.

>>21720583
And at the moment, whose thumb are you under?
Mistamere's, to cure it?
Lady Mayflower's, being sent here?
Alvaro and Mine, following tactics?
Or, your own?
You'll say "your own". But really. What would you do if you were free, and how is that different to just following me around this place to get the Idol and bring it back, which is what I'd have you do if you belong to me, at least for the length of this castle raid.
For a person not under anyone's thumb, you sure are quick to follow me when I get impatient, and is that not a means of control I have over you?
I don't think so. You don't think so either. But from an outside perspective, I was leading and you were following.
Freedom's in the thoughts, and thoughts are vague and wispy.
Gold is in the pouch, and the pouch is solid and clinky.
[Otab makes Clinking noises with gold pouch]
You disagree and think it's evil. It may well be. But I believe in what's real, rather than what's imagined.
And freedom is imaginary.

>>21720658
"Well, it's called cooperation - I want the same thing the people of Mistamere want. Whereas the other, it doesn't matter what one person wants, they just obey.

I follow you when you get impatient - but that's mostly a mechanical function of you running ahead, and a function of me not wanting you to die. You're more useful to my ends alive than dead. Does that mean I do things I'd rather not do? To a point - I wouldn't die for you, if I can help it. I won't leap into a dragon's mouth for you. But I certainly won't hesitate to help you in a scuffle, even if the odds are a bit long.


Now if you call that slavery, relying on other people, then we've just got some basic vocabularic differences and point of view discrepancies."

>>21720856
Hang on. Am I really more useful to your ends alive than dead?
What are your ends?

[Otab learns: Jenai thinks of himself as a CO-OPERATING PERSON. This is different to both a slave, and a master, and is something else entirely]

>>21720931
"My ends change as we go. Currently, they are to get through here, acquire the Idol, and escape without dying. You are a magic user - you've got powers that can turn the tide of a battle, but you're also frail. All the study leaves you less-than-able to not die from being chewed on by .. well anything. So you are useful alive - you might save my life, or help us defeat an enemy bloodlessly when we need the idol."

>>21721094
I put 2 doggies to sleep! That way we didn't have to eat more than one round of Breath attack at once. :)

[Also, OOC: Does Jenai have any particular talent in reading people?]

So. Let's say that you and I are defending Mistamere from whoever and whatever, and we capture 2 people alive.
If I agree to let you do whatever you want with one of the captured dudes and not care/complain.
Will you let me sell the other one, and not care/complain?
If not, what would I need to do, to ensure you don't interfere with my share of the loot?

>>21721200
[NOPE. Also OOC - is Otab clearly ... broken or weird? Because it doesn't take any special talents to see that. Or is Otab a kid, or something? sorry I don't know Otab's backstory, missed your hop-in.]

>>21721357
Backstory: Likes Loot and Xp innately.
Got set up in training for Magic users by his parents, in the hopes that close supervision and a sedentary life would curb the obsessive search for loot and xp.
As soon as he gained a character level, started bugging people for "Loot" and "Xp" in typical adventurer fashion.
A particularily good liar told him that there was Loot and Xp this-a-way, so off I went.

When in doubt, his morals and values are "Loot" and "Xp".

>>21721200
"Well, I don't normally consider people to be loot.. we have some goblins working on the Honeypot, but I see that as sort of a rehabilitation program. They work for us, we pay them a bit, show them there are better ways than banditry to make a living. I guess if you do the same, I won't mind so much -

What I mean, is, if it's indentured servitude, in exchange for their lives (since I assume they would be attacking us, if we're capturing them) it's not so bad as permanenet, forever slavery. It's a way for them to learn how to not kill."

>>21721662
"I'm glad to hear that. Thank you for talking to me, Jenai - I have nothing else of interest to say."

[OOC: That's a huge buff, and Otab's pretty tense around you now since he thinks you're going to rob him.]

[For instance. Let's suppose 3 of a party member's family members get captured. 3 of our PCs and 4 Retainers go through an enemy fortress to rescue them.
Otab would demand either 1/5th of the gp for selling them, or a weighted diceroll to see who gets each member, as those family members are FORTRESS LOOT, to which he is entitled to his 1/5th share.
You deny him this gp and he'll be very angry at you for robbing him.
If it's Otab's family, he'll buy the ones he likes with his share of the gp. Same as any other loot item.]

>>21721922
[OOC: Jenai believes sentient beings are not property, but you've gotten that.]

>>21722219
Well, now the DM knows how to party conflict.

>>21722257
I hope I'm not spotlight hogging too much here.

Sorry about not showing up earlier, guys.
Hopefully this'll keep the thread alive for another 7 or 8 hours, when Americans should be waking up, and we can actually go through the Manager's Tomb.

Speaking of tombs, I'm thinking of running The Lost City as well. Should have checked it out while we were in Quasqueton, as I'd need some excuse to send you guys north into the ardi scrubland west of the Mistamere Range

>>21724592
>ardi
Typos aside, this isn't going to turn into attacking various shops. You won't go past the Aldi scrubland to the Realm of Lidl, which is at war with Jason and his Woolworthnauts

Greetings, various people!
At about 9 EST, I'll be ready to start playing. As well as the Tomb of the Wa'ulmat Manager, I'm also going to run a game where you play the Marines, making raids into the other Wa'ulmat sections. I'm thinking whoever's here can play that, and then if the actual players show up I'll move it to a new thread

Marines can have any of the following roles

GRUNT (Fighter) 8hp, AC 4 (Chainmail, +1 dex bonus) Armed with Rifle with Bayonet (1d8 damage when fired, 1d6+1 to stab). +1 to hit with either

OFFICER (Fighter) 8hp AC4 (Chainmail, +1 dex bonus) Armed with Sword (1d8+1 damage) and Revolver (1d6 damage). +1 to hit with either

SHARPSHOOTER (Thief) 4hp AC 5 (Leather, +2 Dex bonus) Armed with Sword Bayonet (1d6 damage) and Rifle (1d8 damage, +2 to hit). Can sneak, and backstab for double damage.

MEDIC (Cleric) 7hp 5AC (Chainmail) Armed with Truncheon (1d6) and Pistol (1d6) Can turn undead. 1 first level Cleric spell.

SPECIALIST (Magic User) 4hp 8AC (+1 Dex bonus) Armed with Dagger (1d4 damage) and Pistol (1d6 damage, +1 to hit). 1 first level Magic User spell

>>21727299
Yeah. It's in the same area, but plotwise it's pretty much unrelated

EST is the 4chan timezone, I think, but I can start running the Marines stuff as soon as enough people willing to march off to certain doom show up

So, some of you are probably up around nowish. After 6 hours of sleep (counting as a full night for spellcasting and healing), the Major awakens you. "That's enough rest. You have to get into the tomb and kill the Manager before he can reform.
"You have one and a half hours to kill him. After that, we have to pull out, and anything coming up from the tomb is going to be fired upon."

File: 1353768659286.png-(58 KB, 250x342, tumblr_m5h3y8zfau1rnmpspo(...).png)

I bet if I'd posted a picture like this you wouldn't have killed that secretary

File: 1353771160816.png-(159 KB, 617x329, D&D Leomund's secret chest.png)

Why can't I get my fucking dice box open?

Rolled 3, 8 = 11

>>21728058
Otab ask the Specialists what spells they've learned, and wishes to buy knowledge of their spells for gp. Or to trade spells to them for gp.

I suppose I'll play a Specialist in the upcoming mission to pop one for spelltrade.

>>21728996
>Floating Disc
>Read Languages
I think Vespin could teach you those anyway

And yeah, I haven't had many bites for the one-shot, but if I get any interest I'd be happy to run two games at once.

I've also decided how I'll throw out the hook for The Lost City. Mr Fuzzyboots is going to make another appearance soon.

>>21729036
Well if nobody else gives a shit I'm cool with tombdiving. Honestly I'd really like Charm Person to give a certain someone a suggestion that "Stealing from other party members is wrong. You shouldn't do it and if someone does it you should try to peacefully stop them."
Also for "Please search that room for traps" or "Please try to unlock this box/door".

>>21729087
If you try to use it to make people do something against their nature or moral code, they get an extra saving throw right then, so yeah

>>21729150
It's why Brandon was going to attack the dogs, instead of trying to kill one of you. Killing a dangerous animal is very different to killing your brothers-in-arms, and if he'd killed all the dogs I'd have had him do another saving throw before turning on you.

>>21729167
God damnit, I tried to get my name up there

>>21729150
Otab is unaware that those requests are against someone's nature or moral code.
Searching for traps, Unlocking boxes and doors, and Stealing only from enemies/neutrals are kind of normal for party thieves, aren't they?
Besides. The main benefit is allowing a Thief who may be cautious or easily distracted [OOC: Slow at posting] to get stuck into doing his job quickly, without delay. That's SUPER TEAMWORK right there!

>>21729176
Oh ho ho, don't act like I can't read upthread

>>21729191
You can. I can. Otab can't. ;)
Don't forget that the IC lootmage honestly doesn't understand Jenai's moral code.

Leod and Fig'Tard, whenever you're ready I can start

>>21729352
oh, this thread is active. derp

>>21729360
I know, I was suprised too.

>>21729360
So, Figgy. You never told me what made you become an adventurer.

If it matters, I made a partial Map of Questamere while you were gone. We found wacky teleport rooms.

[Show MAP]

>>21729382
Is Otab still able to trade spells with the dudes here?

>>21729395
Yeah, I'll let you add those spells to your sheet

What is the who now?

>>21729403
Tomb. Going. Me. Fig'Tard. Leod. You. Vampire. Kill. Loot.

>>21729402
Add Sleep and Prot Evil to the Specialist's sheet too, then.

>>21729410
"Lad, iffin ye couldnae tell, Oi'm 'ere to start up an' collect me family jewels." Figgy grips the crotchpouch filled with gems. "Deez jewels."

>>21729402
I ask if any of the medics can sell me a heal for Trapfinder IV. I assume Alvaro used his CLW already, and he's not present at the start of today. [He'd probably use his CLW on his own retainers regardless]

>>21729420
Otab tells Fig'tard that Otab thinks Fig'tard is COMPLETELY AWESOME.

>>21729403
Ah good, you're here. You can probably help deal with getting into the tomb.

The door is down some stairs, and on the front is a strange and disturbing image. A bright yellow face, its eyes black sunken pits and its mouth contorted into a hideous rictus stares at you.

Rolled 4 + 1

>>21729421
Sure, you can get a heal

>>21729432
Trapfinder IV, poke door.
Trapfinder II, Meatshield II, IV, and I will stand behind a corner in case of trap.

>>21729436
I give the Medic that healed Trapfinder IV 2gp.

Also Figgy, Torch.

Otab lost TORCH * 1
Fig'tard gained TORCH * 1

You seemed out.

Rolled 6

>>21729439
A blast of energy from the face strikes the dog

>>21729451
"Moy dwarf eyes be superior to torches in the darkness. Ye can keep it."
And no torches were accepted

Rolled 52, 67 = 119

>>21729432
Gurx and I be
DETECTIN TRAPS

>>21729464
You don't find any traps, apart from the horrible-bolt-of-deadly-magic trap you just saw

>>21729456
I recall Trapfinder IV and pet him repeatedly. BEST DOG!
I also pet the other 3 so the rest of the dogs don't get jealous.

>>21729456
Okay guys, the face shoots energy. If you're opening it, get your shield up or be ready to dodge. Jenai, you wanna borrow my 10ft?

Rolled 26, 87 = 113

>>21729456
>>21729464

Looks like there's a trap, and i don't need to detect it.
Time to - DISARM IT.

>>21729477
:o! Careful!
Otab winces as Jenai attempts to disarm trap.

>>21729477
You can't figure out any way to disable the trap, or safely removing the face, so you don't touch the door, the face, or its handle.

Rolled 5, 6, 6, 7 = 24

>>21729484
Also it occurs to me that I haven't rolled for my dogs' vital stats.
Black, Brown, Spotted, Blue [Well, grey], and Male or Female.

>>21729489
Meh.

"So.. how do open this thing? "

>Jenai says outloud, staring at it.

Does it look like it can just .. be opened, whoever opens it taking a bolt?

>>21729502
They all bitches.
One black, two brown, one spotted.

>>21729489
"Lads, get back, Oi got an oidea. Someone lend me a dagger an' stand back!"

>>21729512
BRO DAGGER
*gives Fig'tard dagger*
DAGGER BRO
Also you totally owe me 4gp if you get this thing wrecked. ;)

>>21729507
There is a handle on the door. Presumably it could be opened if someone could maintain their grip while being blasted

>>21729520
Make a Lassoo out of rope, have Fig'tard take 20 in throwing it?

>>21729512
Dagger'd, then I kip up the hall a bit.

Rolled 16 + 2

>>21729520
Screw grips. Once everyone's out of the way, I fling both daggers down the stairs, simultaneously, at the face's eyes. Once I fling, I dorfroll out of the way to the side. (provided I can fling and hit from the top of the stairs)

>>21729534
Yes. The daggers bounce off the face.
That didn't do much good...

>>21729527
Oh, and if it's relevant, I'll hide behind a corner/cover and hold the rope. Once it's lasso'd we should be able to pull it from around a corner.

>>21729531
>>21729512
"Before you do anything crazy, we could also tie a rope to a crossbow bolt and shoot it in the face?"

>>21729540
Did... did I at least look cool while doing it?
>>21729544
I did that to a chest a long time ago. Why didn't I think of it this time?

Rolled 1

>>21729540
I'll get my dagger back when we've solved the mystery of the face. I may be greedy but I can wait for 4gp if it means I don't lose (checks) 700xp.

>>21729544
I roll Lore[Door], seeing if I pass the DC for knowing "Doors are closed until you open them. Opening them typically involves operating a doorknob or door handle".

>>21729551
Otab hasn't got a clue how Doors work.

"Holy shit what the fuck is that thing."

>>21729551
The concept of doors is strange and confusing to you

>>21729551
"It be a door, lad. Opening them typically involves operating a knob or an 'andle."

>>21729549
Otab tells Fig'tard that Fig'tard LOOKED COOL.

>>21729551
You now think doors are curious decorations with nothing behind them, and are puzzled as to why the party is wasting its time throwing things at/looking at this one.

Can doors be looted?
Are doors worth xp?
Are doors typically a risk to loot or xp?
No?
Well then no wonder I don't know about Doors. That shit's unimportant.

Jenai are you a door?

>>21729563
Yep, the only door he can remember seeing is the one in Quasqueton where that was the case

Rolled 7

How soon can I try to disarm this door again?

If it ain't soon, I unlimber my grappling hook and make a throw to hook the handle.

"You two.. can try.. if I miss!"

Fig'Tard, is Jenai a door?

>>21729582
"Methinks we still ought cut the grin off its face."

>>21729582
You miss the first time, but you can try again and after a few times manage to hook the doorhandle. If you tug on the rope, the door is pulled open, but you feel a resistance, like it will shut again if you let go

>>21729608
Tug of war! ^_^
I play Tug of war with Trapfinder IV with the rope, and deliberately lose.
I give Trapfinder IV the impression that we have at least 90 minutes of playtime.

Also:

Holy fucking shit Jenai you moved that fucking WALL.
Are you a god?
Also are you a door?

>>21729608
I tie it off, if I can find something to do so with.

"I suggest .. urgh.. we.. go ahead and .. GO before it shuts us in. We can.. cut the face off later!"

>>21729627
If I don't find something to tie it off with, I just suggest Fig Iron spike the door open.

>>21729627
>GO
Shit, are we going?
I fall in behind Fig and have Trap II, Meat II and Meat IV watch my flanks and rear.

>>21729627
I wedge the door open with an iron spike/piton.
>>21729637
"Ey, Ey! Oi'm doin' it already."

>>21729646
Trapfinder IV is still wounded and deserves 90 minutes of dedicated playtime owing to her heroic efforts in investigating this door.

>>21729627
The marines help you tie off the rope to the side of a shelf, holding the door open.
"Remember, in 90 minutes we'll let it go, fill in the stairs as well as we can, and shoot anything that comes up"

File: 1353778251216.png-(27 KB, 124x93, Marine Dog.png)

>>21729656
The marines are willing to play with Trapfinder IV up here while they wait for you, and even offer her the rank of corporal.

>>21729666
>TFW your dog outranks you
What does DorfVision(tm) see beyond the door?

>>21729666
Aww man, now she's worth more gp owing to her rank, and I'll have to be sadder if she dies.
Why'd you do that DM.

I don't tell this to the Marines though.

>>21729657
Jenai grumbles at the marines, following the party with Yrin and Gurx
"If it's us, and we don't look dead, at least give us a way to prove we're not dead. Or evil."

>>21729681
Just yell "Oo rah". It's what we heard these guys yell when they raised the flag.

>>21729674
A 30 foot long flight of stairs leads down into a large room. The room's ceiling is at least 20 feet high, and it's 50 feet wide. You don't see the end of the room.
You do notice what seem to be statues of monstrous figures along the walls

>>21729681
"No can do. We don't have the spellcasting resources to make sure you're not mind controlled"

Rolled 2, 10 = 12

>>21729694
Jenai halts the party, and with Gurx peers about the room.

"Lemme take a look. Fig, you see anything?"

>>21729694
I set my Lantern on. It should still have oil in it.

I keep Meat IV at me, and have Trap II and Meat II say hello to the stone doggies. [OOC: Check for trapz]

>>21729694
Stonecunning on the statues.
"Oi see statues... oogleh ones..."

>>21729713
You see there are quite a few giant bats in this room, at least seven. Some hang from the roof, while others are perched on small ledges along the walls

>>21729722
>You see there are quite a few giant bats in this room, at least seven.
: - )

>>21729710
Jenai turns and says up the staircase.

"What if we just - don't attack you? Have the idol - or what about some of that evil manager's ashes in a pouch, or his shattered coffin? Be creative, guys."

>>21729719
They're mundane, not gargoyles or petrified creatures as far as you can tell.

>>21729734
"More ye talk, more time we waste, lad."
>Giant bats
How giant?

>>21729734
Oorah is creative.
Ain't no mind controlled creature smart enough to know to Oorah.

>>21729743
Bless has worn off by now, hasn't it?
Hm.

>>21729734
"Ashes are ashes, and he could easily give you some other bits of broken lumber. I'm sorry, but we can't risk losing the company"

Don't worry, you should have plenty of time to get this done

>>21729748

Getting an erection this large means I might have to rape you very soon indeed.

>>21729748
Yeah

>>21729743
Man sized.

Rolled 13, 4, 5 = 22

>>21729722
>>21729722
Jenai gestures to the bat. "Let's just kill them before we have to worry about them.

Jen and Gurx both SNEAK ATTACK the closest ones with bow and javelin.

Yrin will also chuck a javelin, if we get a surprise round?

>>21729758
Don't do this, anon. Don't make me tripfag for your bullshit.
>>21729760
Seeing this, I ready my spear.

>>21729760
13 hits one

Rolled 2

>>21729760
I'unno. Have a dagger.

Rolled 5

>>21729778
I guess that'll do.

What to hit, for future reference?

Rolled 3

>>21729796
13. So you needed to roll 9 or more with a sneak attack.

I think that's the suprise round, so roll for initiative for round 1

>>21729788
Also I get my dagger back from that statue room before this. Then I throw it. Still 10 daggers on me.
Fig, you got any form of throwing dagger?

>>21729806
I think my roll will be terrible. Jenai, you roll init.

File: 1353779238551.png-(1 KB, 123x233, Mapsofar.png)

>>21729808
MSPAINT SKILZ

Rolled 3 + 2

>>21729806
Initiative Initiate

>>21729816
Party goes first.

I'm willing to let you make a melee attack roll, and say it's against whichever one swoops down at you

Rolled 7, 10, 16, 10 = 43

>>21729828
A_Wave_of_dogs_and_aggression.wav

File: 1353779434757.png-(83 KB, 250x250, Wa'ulmartLAM.png)

Rolled 17 + 3

>>21729812
Gimpy Gimpy, fight with sticky

Rolled 5

>>21729836
Aw dang I did it wrong.
Meatshield II takes a chunk out of whichever one swoops down to eat Otab.

Rolled 4 + 3

>>21729841
Bat on a stick!

Rolled 10, 6, 2 = 18

>>21729828
Thanks! Does that go for Yrin as well?

>>21729858
Yeah

>>21729863
>>21729858
Yrin missed though, didn't he?

Rolled 12, 15, 11, 15, 19, 7, 11 = 90

>>21729863
The giant bats swoop down and make their attacks

Your actions and the light also disturb the many smaller bats in the room, which fly around the room and out the door.
-2 to hit until they're gone

>>21729876
Yrin is a sexy lady goblin.

>>21729884
Awfick imded.

Rolled 3, 2, 4 = 9

>>21729884
Jenai, Yrin, and Trapfinder II are hit.

Each has to roll vs paralysis

Rolled 16 + 1

>>21729884
"Gorram bats!" My arms are flailing wildly!

Rolled 6 + 3

>>21729895
Things get poked and bleed

Rolled 14

>>21729894
They're all vampiric? Balls to this.

>>21729899
One giant bat is slain!

>>21729904
Oh no, the bats in the tomb of a vampire are vampiric bats? Who could have ever guessed?

Rolled 8, 7 = 15

>>21729908
They're fuckin' sleeping vampire bats now is what they fuckin' are.

Rolled 14, 20 = 34

>>21729894
ULGH

>>21729916
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xVZXHLmOUA

>>21729904
>>21729923
All save!

>>21729928
ffff

>>21729916
The giant bats, as well as nearly a score of normal ones, fall from the sky.

The disturbed bats either fly out through the entrance, or return to their rest on the ceiling

>>21729928
Trap II, go play with the Marines for a bit. [She's at 3hp]

I talk to Yrin and Gurx.

"What does it mean to be 'civilised', to you? What do you like about it? What don't you like about it?"
I pay Yrin 1gp of "Protection money" for him to try to guard me against shit.

>>21729941
Right. Let's stab, slice, cut, and skewer our way to victory here.

Since these are Tomb bats and the tomb hasn't been opened for a while, I'm thinking the meat here isn't fresh. I stop the dogs from eating it.

Also, 30XP each and 15 for retainers

>>21729908
Oh yeah, did my sneak attack double damage kill one? 10 damage.

>>21729986
Yes, it would have. oops...

>>21729993
Still, last dice rolled didn't cause a hit, so whatever

>>21729993
"Hah! I demand a recount! :P Or a re-HP. Or.. Yrin, you can do what you want vis-a-vis this Otab guy, so long as it doesn't conflict with our arrangement. IE, protect me first."

Yrin: " Civilized? It means killing things, having a pale softy that I keep safe, to keep other pale softies from killing me, and making gold and sleeping under a warm roof when I'm not killing things."

>>21729996
Just how deep does the smiley hole go, DM? Are there more statues further in?

The room is 100 feet long, and 50 feet wide. About 40 feet down the east and west walls are closed bronze doors.

>>21729974
Wait.
7 Giant bats, plus I dunno, 10 normal ones?
That's 200xp. How'd we only get 30xp each from it?
There's Me, Figgy, Jenai, Gurx, and Yrin. Divide by 4 for the split and shouldn't we be ending with 50xp each?
Or maybe these were just giant bats of HD 1 I suppose.

>>21730008
Otab tells Yrin that Yrin knows what is best in life, and is very wise.

>>21729996
What if he was the FIRST bat to attack? ;_;

>>21729993
>>21729996
"Alright.. let's keep going."

Jenai rubs the injuries received.

>>21730014
East door.
West door.
Least door.
BEST DOOR!

I have determined that the West door is obviously the Best door. Who wants to open it?

>>21730011
Statues

>>21730016
Nah, I just gave XP for the giant bats. But you're right, it should be 35xp and 18xp, sorry.

File: 1353780963674.jpg-(24 KB, 375x500, victory.jpg)

>>21730040
Five XP bonus! :D:D
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3WimCPUkQY

File: 1353780980040.png-(71 KB, 250x250, QuasquetanLAM.png)

>>21730040
Like this?

I vote east

File: 1353781013175.png-(66 KB, 250x250, Wa'ulmartLAM.png)

>>21730049
ohfuck wrong image. Must have rolled 6 on stonecunning.

>>21730049
Not really...

Looks like Jenai has the casting vote

Rolled 68, 18 = 86

>>21730031
Jenai is checking doors for badstuff with Gurx

>>21730054
These doors don't seem trapped.

>>21730060
"It looks safe enough, but let's make sure."

Jenai will prod the East door open with the 10ft pole.

"Ya.. urgh. Always go RIGHT in a maze, and you find your way out again."

>>21730080
No, West!
Otab will prod the West door open with his 10ft pole.

File: 1353781369609.png-(1 KB, 119x269, Mapsofar.png)

>>21730051

>>21730080
The door is opened. There is a path continuing for 20 feet before turning north, then after that going on for 10 feet before coming to a 30 foot square room. There is a stone statue of a great monster at the back of the room

File: 1353781621564.png-(2 KB, 201x277, Mapsofar.png)

>>21730092

Rolled 48, 3 = 51

>>21730092
"This screams "deathtrap."

File: 1353781745032.png-(81 KB, 250x250, Wa'ulmartLAM.png)

>>21730092
Stonecunning time on the statue, "Oi, lookit 'is nasty bugger"

>>21730132
What do Gurx's goblin Eyes SEEEEE?

>>21730136
Fine, Otab hauls ass over there. Swear to god you people and your east door.

>>21730138
There's a passageway behind the statue

>>21730136
Which is actually a gargoyle!

Rolled 1 + 2

>>21730155
STAB IT, STAB IT DEAD!

Rolled 18 + 3

>>21730161
fuck! so surprised!

Attack roll for whenever we go

>>21730155
Otab prepares to throw Acid at the Gargoyle.

So. Shall we prepare a surprise attack?

>>21730161
Otab ceases his preparations and instead just sits back while Fig'tard gets stuck in.

Rolled 5 + 3

>>21730169
And damage! nopenopenope gargoyle

Rolled 5

>>21730161
Gargoyle's initiative

As you move to stabbit, the gargoyle rises up. "I. WILL. NOT. LEAVE. MY. POST"

>>21730169
14 or better hits

Rolled 14, 16, 17, 14 = 61

>>21730190
After being stabbed with Fig'Tard's magic spear, the gargoyle starts rampaging!

Rolled 14

>>21730169
Can I ... even hit that?
It's sort of made of rock and all I've got are 2 dogs and a dagger.
Otab cautiously throws a dagger and keeps his dogs back

Rolled 4

>>21730199
1d4 if it even matters.

Rolled 1, 2 = 3

>>21730198
It smacks Fig'Tard around

>>21730199
Yeah, because obviously their wellbeing is more important than a player character's

>>21730214
It's made of rock! Can Dogs even hurt it?

>>21730210
Yes Otab, it did matter.
>>21730214
Ow

Rolled 19, 14 = 33

>>21730222
<dogs bark>

Rolled 5, 4 = 9

>>21730234
<dogs rip, dogs tear>

Rolled 15, 18, 12 = 45

>>21730198
*spits*

"Holy shit!"

Rolled 6

>>21730273
Jen's arrow

Rolled 3

>>21730273
Gurx Javelin

Rolled 11, 16, 20, 9 = 56

The gargoyle keeps swinging away at Fig'Tard and the dogs

Rolled 3, 2 = 5

>>21730302
Both dogs are hit...

>>21730302
30 damage didn't kill it.
30 damage.
Didn't kill it.

My god. What is this monster?!

Rolled 6

>>21730307
And Fig'Tard is badly bitten

>>21730316
Someone owes Meathshield II and IV his life. :O!

Rolled 15 + 3

>>21730316
fucksticks. I make a fighting retreat from the front lines.

Rolled 6 + 3

>>21730328
>Take 9 damage
>Owes dog his life
>Clearly only the magic spear is doing damage

>>21730344
The spear's magic allows Fig'Tard to drive it clean through the gargoyle, and it's top half crumbles away to nothing as the enchantment is broken.

100XP each, 50XP to retainers

>>21730358
Figgy pierces the Gargoyle with his XXX and falls atop the remains of the statue in an embarrassingly compromising position.

"Th.. the 'oney, lads"

Rolled 6, 2, 6 = 14

>>21730302
"ARGH We need to take it down fast! Too much commotion!"

Jenai tries talking to it.

"What are you guarding?!"

>>21730328
Crap. We need to reorganise our front line.

Yrin, Meat II, and Meat IV?

>>21730358
EXCKS PEE.

Well, I guess my dogs are the front line now. I'll open that West door because WEST IS BEST damn it!

>>21730367
You see behind where the gargoyle was is a path which after 30 feet turns west

>>21730368
Recovery first, exploration later. DM, am I getting CLW cast on me from Alvaro?

>>21730365
"Take it!"

Jenai forks over the honey, and Gurx's as well.

>>21730379
You have the honey, and healing potions. You can get Alvaro heals when you leave the dungeon with the Idol of St Elmo

Rolled 2

>>21730383
I start with my honey roll.

>>21730368
Officer Habit will join the front lines with Sgt Vice.

"Yrin, I will commence to call you the HOUNDMASTER."

>>21730376
I notice that another one of my dogs just went into "One hit kills me" range.
Meat II, back to the Marines. After I get this door open.

Come to think of it, how much gp would it cost to pick up a really brave marine officer as a retainer, if only for this tomb?

Rolled 3

>>21730394
Gurx's honey roll

>>21730397
He'd want the standard treasure share, to go the Marines

>>21730397
Wonder what these Marines are thinking as a steady stream of wounded dogs is making its way towards them. Other than "PROMOTIONS".

>>21730412
Well, I'd be fine with that. I tell him that I'm going to go in here, kill anything undead including that vampire, and give him his rightful share of gold from the mission. His duty is to protect the weak - which right now is Jenai and I, I think?

Rolled 3

>>21730376
Jenai's honey. Auto-map Update

>>21730431
His duty is to deliver through toys a message of hope to less fortunate youngsters. But this will help in that duty

File: 1353783733238.png-(85 KB, 250x250, Wa'ulmartLAM.png)

>>21730435
I am back to 9 HP, covered and filled with nearly a gallon of honey.

Diabeetus Dorf

>>21730448
At least if you disappear, we know it's because Fig'Tard fell unconscious due to sugar crash

>>21730435
Ha Ha Figtard will have runny poop for 3d16 hours.

>>21730431
Otab says to Marines:
"Making progress, taking wounded. Our front line's breaking. Do any of your officers want to come with us? Please take care of my wounded dogs."
Otab coming back.

And I'm totally checking out that West door before returning to the party. Because WEST DOOR IS BEST DOOR.

>>21730456
You get Sergeant Hartman.
"GOOD GOD WHAT THE HELL ARE ARE YOU DOING TO MY BELOVED MARINE CORPS?"

>>21730456
The west door has a passage 20 feet long before coming to a room 30 feet by 50 feet. In the floor is a great crack, 10 foot wide and 20 feet long, from which fog and and a green glow are emerging. You also see several figures in the room ahead

>>21730474
SIR. TAKING WOUNDED WHILE GETTING TOYS FOR CHILDREN, SIR.

>>21730486
Good enough. I rejoin the party.

Hey guys. West door has a GREEN GLOWY THING. Told ya west door was best door. Neener neener East door is Least door

>>21730487
"I HEAR YOU'RE FROM MISTAMERE. ONLY TWO THINGS COME FROM MISTAMERE, STEERS AND QUEERS, AND I DON'T SEE A FUCKING PAIR OF HORNS ON ANY OF YOU. DO YOU SUCK DICKS PRIVATE?"

>>21730506
SIR NO SIR. I AIN'T NAVY, SIR!

>>21730521
"BULLSHIT!" He punches you in the gut. "YOU LOOK LIKE THE TYPE TO FUCK A MAN IN THE ASS AND NOT EVEN HAVE THE GOD DAMN COMMON COURTESY TO GIVE HIM A REACH AROUND"
Turning to Fig'Tard, he says "HOW TALL ARE YOU?"

Rolled 1

>>21730533
God damn it.

>>21730542
Otab now at 2/4 hp. This retainer is kind of a dick.

>>21730542
He didn't do any damage. He's well trained in the art of performing violence without leaving any marks

>>21730555
Oh.

Still kind of a dick though.

>>21730563
Just wait until he finds out Fig'Tards been eating all that honey and makes the rest of you do pushups

>>21730533
"THE FUCK DO YE CARE? YE GONNA ASK ME OUT ON A DATE NEXT? FALL IN LOINE, MAGGOT."

>>21730486
"Hm. Ominous figures, eh? I say we make sure they aren't behind us when we try to escape. Let's clear them out, they probably work for the Manager."

>>21730582
*loling at work, the echoes are painful*

File: 1353784905735.png-(4 KB, 299x347, Mapsofar.png)

>>21730603
Map.
~ is dead gargoyle
# is fog
Crude ascii pit with spike is pit
red # is fog with enemy

>>21730582
"WELL WHY THE FUCK NOT, YOU PETERPUFFER. I BET YOU CAN SUCK A GOLF BALL THROUGH A GARDEN HOSE."

>>21730603
Noticing your dog is a sergeant, Sgt Hartman intuits that you must be of a superior rank and listens politely

>>21730629
I DIDN'T KNOW WE LET *GIRLS* BECOME TOMB RAIDERS. PLANNIN' TO SNEAK BEHIND THE SHOWERS AND STEAL SOME LONELY PRIVATE'S HEART THERE, BETSY?

>>21730643
A Civilian Police Sergeant.
Not a Military Sergeant.

>>21730643
"Alright Sergeant, we need to keep it quieter in here, or these limp-wrists might start to cry, and they can't fight for shit when they're blinded by tears. This is Yrin, this is Gurx. They're my beatsticks. Fig and Otab, they're ok."

>>21730657
Yrin says "THE FUCK IS THAT COMMENT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? KNEEL DOWN AND CHOKE YOURSELF."

Hartman responds "I LIKE YOU. YOU CAN COME OVER TO MY HOUSE AND FUCK MY BROTHER. THIS WOMAN IS A BETTER MARINE THAN ALL OF YOU COMBINED AND SHE'S NOT EVEN A HUMAN FUCKING BEING"

>>21730689
"Yessir."
So, what's your plan of attack?

File: 1353785386383.png-(174 KB, 350x400, Wa'ulmartLAM.png)

>>21730643
Also map. I say we hold to the east path. all gas is bad gas

>>21730730
Fine by me. Green gas might be something nasty. Like poison. Undead don't give two shits about poison but us meatbags? Bah.

East path it is.

>21730657
>21730740
After 10 feet, you come to a 70' by 40' room. The entrance is 10 feet north from the south wall. In the middle is a great pile of dirt. Along the western wall is a treasure chest, a suit of studded leather armour, and atop a pedestal and beneath a bell jar the golden Idol of St Elmo the Ticklish

>>21730781
all the traps, stonecunning now, map soon

File: 1353786006615.png-(3 KB, 266x153, Jenai.png)

Rolled 3

>>21730781
If Jenai ain't coming back, I suppose she and Gurx search for hidden/traps?
Figgy, your stone eyes see anything?
I send Hartmann to help Jenai UNFUCK HERSELF while searching for traps and stuff.
Keep Meat IV by me.
I ... I dunno. Poke the entry tile with a 10ft repeatedly. I'm helping I suppose.

I tell the party:
Pile of dirt probably has corpses in it. Not entirely dead corpses.
Treasure chest is probably trapped, a mimic, contains a ghoul, on top of a pressure plate, or all four.
Studded armor is probably filled with spiders, on a pressure plate, a mimic, or all three.
Bell Jar probably contains poison, is a mimic, contains an invisible ghoul, or all three.
The golden idol of St. Elmo the Ticklish is how the heck do our characters know that IC? We didn't ask what it looks like and I'm rolling identify on that shit.

>>21730806
You're certain the coffin of the manager is buried under the dirt

There's something unusual about the stone pedestal, but you're unsusre what

File: 1353786048348.png-(54 KB, 250x250, Wa'ulmartLAM.png)

>>21730806
Map is now

Rolled 54

>>21730832
>>21730835
I will accept Otab's roll for my trapfinding, here is Gurx's.