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File: 1353285486067.jpg-(98 KB, 642x517, Ogre Civ Quest.jpg)
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"Long, long ago, before written history (and before the civilized races of the Old World made official first contact with each other), the realms of man were haunted by tales of strange monsters living beneath the earth. Monsters barely as tall as children, yet as strong as fifty men crammed into one pint-sized muscular package, with moss-covered tentacles for mouths and claws strong enough to dig through solid rock."

"... these 'monsters,' of course, were the dwarves. As it so happens, the dwarves had similar bogeyman stories about mankind, who were reputed to be impossibly slender, willowy /things/ that crawled along the sky like giant spiders, and could somehow function normally despite being utterly blind should they stumble underground. The elves, too, viewed the rumored races of groundling and man with faint disgust and horror, and so on and so forth."

"Some scholars posit, then, that we unfairly view the bestial peoples living across the sea, in that largely-unexplored continent of Terra Incognita, with the same kind of prejudices."

"Of course, others quickly remind these scholars that some of the peoples reported to be living in Terra Incognita actually DO have claws that can tunnel through solid rock, or tentacles (or mandibles!) in place of their mouths. And so the arguments continue..."

(Cont.)
>>
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>STATUS REPORT
-----------------------------------------------
**Ogir Place (+Floating, +Limbs, +Sandstorm Drill, +Steering Wheel)**
-----------------------------------------------
- ***Population: 55/65 ogres (6 dead, 10 exploring), 20/30 elves (10 exploring)
- Landmarks: Oasis, Daphnaia, Underground Cave/Quarry, Underground [???]s
- Food: Fish(-), Cacti(-ow), Fungi(+), Wheat, Potatoes; Fair Growth (+24/turn)
- Resources: Hellfire Energy [Captive Archdemon Lord], Sandstone, Iron+Chromite Ores, Featherstone, Aquifer Pebbles
- Diplomacy: Scaratone [Featherstone Carts, Fungi, Paper]; Felpowder Elves

- Key Items: Tomes (Dragon Lore, Illusory Magic I, Necromancy I)
- Arms: Cactus Maces, Crude Iron Armor, Demon Helm/Shoulderpads; Ur-Camouflage
- Vocations: Ogres, Geomancers (5), Berserkers (4), Beastmasters (1)
- Beasts: Naked Mole Ravagers (Untrained)
- ***Settlement: Reinforced Rock Shanties, Storehouse, Mushroom Farms, Pier, Anchor/Staircase, THE FLAMES OF HELL

- NPCs: Boss Bawss Fistboss [+30 Diplomacy], Geomancer Gubbins [+30 Geomancy, +WE ALL GEOMANCERS NOW, +Ruoumoko], Beastkrumpa Squiggles Irwin [+Big

Vulture]
- Tech: Fire, Fish, Agriculture[+Protection], Cooking, Mine, Smelt/Forge, Write/Read, Hats, FStone Flight, FStone Airdrops, Airships!
- Magic: Geomancy I
- ????: I don't get it.
- Justice: Krumpin' Duels / Boss Knows Best
--------------------------------------

DICE RULES:
>Any Doubles: STUPID LUCKY
>100: SO BRILLIANT IT'S STUPID
>90-98: Stupidly Successful
>60-90: Successful
>40-60: Adequate
>10-40: Not So Good
>2-10: SO STUPID THAT IT'S BRILLIANT
>1: LUCKY STUPID

[GODDESS OF LUCK INTERVENTION]: Available!
(Cont.)
>>
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>>21644019
>Still most of the way through a turn...
TRADING:
>[X] Aquifer
>[X] Food (Wheat, potatoes)
>[X] Crude Iron Armor
in exchange for
>[X] Scimitars
>[X] Healing
>[X] Climate Control

"Actually, there was somethin' I wanted to trade with you," Boss Bawss rumbles thoughtfully, stroking his chin. "But I'm not sure how much use it'll be to you guys..."

The Queen of all Scaratones airily waves a clawed hand. "Brute-warrior Bawss, I am certain that whatever you have to trade us, we will most definitely find a use for-"

"Instant water pebbles, just add water?"

Queen Kilkkarak's hand freezes in midair, and she slowly, slowly turns her head to face Boss Bawss. "... that sounds quite useful," she chitters carefully.

Boss Bawss blinks. "Wot, you guys don't have aquifer pebbles?"

The Queen of all Scaratones takes a moment to compose herself. "Workers draw out moisture from the manure of other creatures when they create the jelly that feeds our people. It is a very painstaking process. We hydrate ourselves, regulate the humidity in our hives, and water our underground crops by having the workers regurgitate the moisture they have collected over long periods of time. And you are speaking of an object that creates endless water, the most precious resource in all the desert," Queen Kilkkarak chitters, sounding faintly light-headed. "Yes, I think we would like that a lot."

The larger ogre scratches his head. "... well, we was also gonna throw in some armor an' food-"

"Armor?" Queen Kilkkarak tilts her head. "Oh! You are referring to the 'clothing' that we have seen some of you wearing, yes-yes?"

(Cont.)
>>
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>>21644052
"Wot? Er- yes?" Boss Bawss hazards. Ogres aren't entirely known for their desire to wear clothing other than accessories and the bare minimum needed to stop other races from screaming and clawing out their eyes at the sight of an entirely naked ogre. "'Cept it's metal stuff you wear into da middle of a battle, to stop you from gettin' cut up real bad."

"Metal, made into a form other than a weapon for cutting, or tools... so what you are telling me is," Queen Kilkkarak says carefully, "That we put these metal clothes on over our chitinous shells, which is what helps prevent us from getting cut up real bad, in order to help prevent us from getting cut up real bad."

Boss Bawss nods eagerly, beaming around his tusks. "Yah! An' you can never have enough stuff dat'll help you from gettin' cut up real bad, so it's like- double da stuff dat's helpin' you get protected from gettin' cut up real bad."

"So wait- hold on-" Queen Kilkkarak holds her hands up. "I am curious, then, if we cannot simply go deeper. What if we put on another layer of this wondrous 'armor' over the armor over our chitinous bodies, to provide the most maximum of protections?"

Boss Bawss frowns. "... I dunno. Don't think we ever tried dat..."

On the sidelines, Celicia quietly soothes her troops, whose eyes are beginning to glaze over once more. "... shhh. Just give in and try not to think about it too hard," she mutters, her voice uncharacteristically soft. "It'll be easier that way."

(Cont.)
>>
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>>21644071
After some more debating, the trading goes off without a hitch- and as is her wont, the Queen of all Scaratones once more offers the ogres and elves a brief tour of the royal hive.

"Another first for us, yes!" Queen Kilkkarak chitters happily, rubbing her hands together. Unsurprisingly, all this trade has caused her strange, pensive mood from earlier to evaporate as if it never was. "Emissaries of a race from the lands across the sea, basking in my royal presence and being given access to the heart of the Scaratone Empire? Unprecedented once more! And such an amusing individual who is in charge of them, yes," she adds, all innocence. "I truly hope I will get to hear you squeak again in the near future, yes-yes. Quite an intriguing sound, it was."

"... thank you, your Highness," Celicia manages to grate out, her gritted teeth nearly bisecting her unlit cigarette as she stares woodenly ahead.

"But more importantly! You must have some destination that you have been curious about, yes! There is no wrong choice, of course, for all locations in the hive are things we take pride in," Queen Kilkkarak says, nodding happily.

Boss Bawss scratches his chin in thought...

>CHOOSE TWO:
[ ] [Library] Who knows? Books might be interestin'. Maybe.
[ ] [Underground Farms] Wonder how dat place's holdin' up since last time?
[ ] [Workshops] Tools, weapons, an' other things, huh...
[ ] [Menagerie] (BONUS) ...well, we DO have Beastkrumpa Squiggles with us...
[ ] [Underground Caverns] How far down DOES dis place go, anyhow?
>>
>>21644078
Menagerie and Underground Caverns
>>
>>21644078
Menageries! Beast Krumpa needs to do more beast krumping, especially if there are moles around that need to be tamed
>>
>>21644078
>[x] [Menagerie] (BONUS) ...well, we DO have Beastkrumpa Squiggles with us...
>[x] [Underground Caverns] How far down DOES dis place go, anyhow?
>>
>>21644078
menageries andcaverns. Wouldn't the underground farms be in the caverns?
>>
>>21644078
Menageries and workshops sounds good
>>
>>21644225
Not necessarily! I meant the underground caverns to be a few levels deeper, actually.
>>
>>21644078
>[x] [Workshops] Tools, weapons, an' other things, huh...
>[x] [Menagerie] (BONUS) ...well, we DO have Beastkrumpa Squiggles with us...
>>
>>21644078
[X] [Workshops] Tools, weapons, an' other things, huh...AN' DA BEGINNIN'S A DOUBLE ARMAH!
[X] [Menagerie] (BONUS) ...well, we DO have Beastkrumpa Squiggles with us.
>>
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... OH BOY, we're going to need a tie-breaker between Underground Caverns and Workshops. Typing up the Menagerie post(s) now, but I'll be taking votes for the second location up 'til then!
>>
>>21644480
Workshops
>>
>>21644480
Underground Caverns!
>>
>>21644480
Neither!
>>
>>21644504
>>21644511
Huh. Well that didn't help. Workshops.
>>
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>>21644521
>>
>>21644521
Both!
>>
>>21644521
Now that is just unhelpful.
>>
caverns
>>
Menagerie no contest
>>
workshops
>>
>>21644533
Moomins oh god thats a blast from the childhood.

>>21644078
[X] [Menagerie]
>>
>>21644078
Caverns. We have to know what's down there if we ever gonna combined with this place.
>>
>>21644533
I might just try pissing you off in the next thread just to see that image again.
>>
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>>21644078
>>21644078
>>21644078
>[X] Menagerie

When Boss Bawss rattles off his decision, Queen Kilkkarak hesitates for just a moment. "Ah... might be a problem, yes. Some of our beasts are acting up, and it could be dangerous to-"

"Queenie," Boss Bawss replies gently. "Queenie. We are /ogres/. Da last time a buncha beasts got uppity, we punched 'em inna face."

"... true, yes." The Scaratone Queen gives an overly dramatic sigh, crossing her arms over her chest. "Such a shame, really, I cannot fit all that well through the tunnels leading down there. Would give my limbs to watch you inflicting bodily harm on things, and not just second-hand reports...!"

Boss Bawss scratches his head. Well, he can't BLAME her- punching things is pretty damn fun, and the only thing that can really compare is watching people punching things. "... hey, least we'll be beatin' dem Formichroma boys up soon. Bet you'll see us do a lotta dat kinda stuff, right?"

The Queen chitters in amusement, even as the worker Scaratone acting as the ogres and elves' guide starts leading them away. "Quite right, yes-yes! And- Boss Bawss," she calls out, stopping the larger ogre in his tracks.

Boss Bawss blinks as the Scaratone Queen walks over and- clasps a clawed hand on the ogre's shoulder, giving it a squeeze. "Thank you. Your aid in the upcoming fight... it means a lot to us, yes-yes," she says quietly, the usual levity gone from her voice.

"Nah, ya don't have to go an' say dat." The large ogre cracks a simple grin, affectionately punching the Queen's shoulder in response. "We pals now. Dat's wot pals do for each other! Right? Right."

Queen Kilkkarak watches as the ogre lumbers after his group, following them down into the tunnels.

(cont.)
>>
>>21644850
"... and here, we have the grand menagerie of the Scaratone Empire, yes-yes!" The worker Scaratone proclaims proudly. "Beasts from all over the realm, we have gathered in one place! Many exotic varieties of manure to be converted to jelly, and other byproducts to be processed as needed!"

Boss Bawss wrinkles his nose at the smell. Even the ogres accompanying him look a little put-off- and they have pretty high bad-smell thresholds. No surprise that the elves decided to wait outside the entrance to the menagerie.

... Beastkrumpa Squiggles, on the other hand...

(Cont.)
>>
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>>21644860
"Holyshitholyshit!" the fur-clad ogre squeals giddily, skipping from pen to pen. "Dey got rabbits inna desert? Dat's amazin'! I ain't neve seen one of 'em before, dey always run away when I get close- aaaah, lookit dat cutie pie!" Squiggles exclaims, his voice pitching up an octave in his excitement. "Who's a good snake, yes you are, yes you are!" he coos, reaching through the bars and petting the meter-long snake, ignoring the reptile's attempts to consume his hand whole.

Boss Bawss scratches his head. Sometimes, he worries about Squiggles. He really does. Trying his best to ignore the squeals of joy, the larger ogre points to a larger cage set near the back of the cavern. "Wot're those huge winged rat-like things?"

The worker Scaratone wrinkles his nose. "Bats... we think. Caught them in the deeper caverns recently, yes-yes, but they aren't like the normal we usually raise. Bigger, for one thing," he chitters. "Sullen, for another. Not eating, not really defecating, and not really letting us get close. Dangerous beasts..."

Boss Bawss watches calmly as Squiggles cavorts closer and closer to the cage full of bats, heedless of the Scaratone's warnings. "... y'know, you should probably be tellin' him dat," he rumbles.

"DANGEROUS BEASTS, I said!" the Scaratone wails as he skitters toward Squiggles, having noticed that too late.

>***STUPID LUCKY TIME?***
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
>>
Rolled 91

>>21644872
>>
Rolled 22

>>21644872
DUMB TIME
>>
Rolled 99

>>21644872
'ERE WE GO LADS
>>
>>21644893
>>21644896
This gonna be good
>>
Rolled 30

>>21644872
STOOPID LUCKY TIME!
>>
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>>21644893
>>21644896
>>21644900

Oh, I've been saving this.
>>
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>>21644893
>>21644896
>>21644900

PFFFTAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

AHAHA

HA.

OGRES.
>>
>>21644916
BRILLIANT! HAVE A HAT!
>>
Rolled 71

>>21644872
Well well well, are these the things howling around Ogir Place at night?
>>
I still want to ask about Elf poop and see if we can trade it. I mean, everyone knows Elves are magic right? So like, their poo is magic too in'nit?

Also, OOC here but how do we know what the fuck Elves are if we've been on the Dark Continent this whole time?
>>
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>>21644893
>>21644896
>>21644900

Oh god my lungs.

No seriously, I'm laughing so hard it physically fucking hurts me.

Oh sweet god it hurts so bad.
>>
>>21644893
>>21644896
>>21644900
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
>>
>>21644942
We haven't been. We were originally in a grassy field.

Don't think to hard about that.
>>
>>21644942
... Ogres. Just Ogres. We aren't even sure how we got here in the first place.
>>
>>21644951
Amen to that, amen.
>>
>>21644942
Yeah I guess if Elf poop is magic, the Scaratone could make reinforced magic buildings out of them.
>>
>>21644916
My sentiments exactly.

These ogres, mayne. These ogres.
>>
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>91
>DUBS EVERYWHERE

fffffffffffff

>>21644916
>that picture

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFf

/tg/ dice, /tg/ denizens... there's just no beating you, is there...!

(Also, brb in 10, grabbing a quick snack!)
>>
Wait.

Doesn't Squiggles actually have an additional BONUS to taming beasts?

What the fuck happens now?
>>
>>21645075
glorious things.
>>
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>>21645075

Glorious, glorious things.
>>
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>>21644900
>>21644896
>>21644893
BABOOM
>>
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>>21645075
This. This happens now.

And it will be awesome.
>>
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We now have an Ogre air-force to go with our Ogre para-troopers and Ogre air-fortress.

OGIR RHAIN!
>>
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>>
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>>21644872
WE BATRIDER NOW!
>>
Hey guys whats going on today-

>>21645065


>Just as planned.
>>
>>21644951
Embrace it. It's a good pain.
>>
>>21644872
>91 + Related Doubles - I DON'T EVEN FUCKING KNOW ANYMORE

"Whoa-hoh! Aren't you guys real beauties?" Before their Scaratone guide can stop him, Beastkrumpa Squiggles screeches to a halt right in front of the bats' cage, making 'tsk-tsk-tsk' noises as he tries to get the animals closer to him. "Here, batty-batty-batty, here-"

With a deafening screech, one of the giant bats suddenly mantles its veined wings and lunges forward to slam against the bars of its prison, snapping its fanged maw at Squiggles... who tilts his head.

"What's that, girl? You broke away from all of your pals, right? Down in da caves?"

"SCREEEE," the bat replies, straining against its cage. The bars start splintering. "SHREEEE."

Squiggles solemnly digests this new information. "... huh. So wot you're sayin' is- you an' your boys, you wanna fly? Feel da wind beneath your wings, an' da sun beatin' down on your back... wow, you're real ell-oh-kuent, you know dat?"

"SKREEEEEEAH." The bats start hammering away at the cage; the nearby worker Scaratones start scrabbling for the exit.

(Cont.)
>>
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>>21645665
"Well, 'bout dat, we actually DO got a good cave sittin' right under our homes," the Beastkrumpa says calmly, ignoring the bats' imminent escape or the flying fist-size splinters missing him by a matter of centimeters. "An' it's real close to da surface, so you can perch all upside-down like, when you need to rest in da daytime..."

"SKEEEEEEEE!" There's a resounding CRACK as the cage starts giving way.

"Aw, shucks, dat's awful nice of you ta say!" Squiggles chortles, ruffling the bat's head. "I think you smell nice, too. Like murder an' mayhem an' blood. Can I call ya... I dunno, Big Bat?"

"SKREAAAAAAAAAA!!" With one final CRACK, the cage explodes outward, and the bats flap their wing loudly as they take flight... and circle up above Beastkrumpa Squiggles, hugging the ceiling.

Squiggles turns to his boss and shoots the bemused ogre a thumbs-up. "Good news, everyone...!"

A few minutes later, Celicia looks up as the ogres exit the menagerie. "Took you guys long enough. Fuck, those beasts were kicking up such a racket that I thought- oh," she trails off weakly, staring at the procession of giant, orc-sized bats walking along behind the ogres, all parties involved looking like this is an absolutely natural turn of events.

There's a moment of silence as the elf soldiers look between the bats, the ogres, and the bats again.

And then Celicia shrugs, too jaded by now to ask any questions.. "So, where to next?"

>The ogres have gained GIANT BATS! Giant, vampiric, perfectly ride-able, milkable(?) bats, who will keep Ogir Place absolutely free of mosquitoes and other small insectoid pests.
>Beastkrumpa Squiggles can now converse fluently with any and all beasts!
>>
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>>21645674
>"Good news, everyone...!"
>>
>>21645674

>milkable

Well, that's going to be interesting once we get around to doing it.
>>
>>21645674
WORKSHOPS
>>
>>21645771
FINALLY, SOMEONE BROKE THE TIEBREAKER (AGAIN)

NEXT POST IN 10-15 MINUTES
>>
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>>21645334
Now we just have to convince an elf to ride one so we can name him Balkoth.
>>
>>21645764
SKEEEEEEEE!
>>
>>21645810
Yeah, considering that the ogres are....bigger than the bats, it seems more appropriate for the elves to ride them instead.

Then again, logic and ogres don't really mix, so....maybe an ogre and elf can ride together? :D
>>
>>21645871
Maybe some kind of flying bat-chariot?

Now all we need is something to stuff a payload of felpowder into to drop onto peoples' heads and we've got ourselves an air force
>>
>>21645871
Obviously the bats carry the ogres with their claw/hand thingies, use the hoverstone crush and parachute down
>>
>>21645900
While elves ride on their backs and shoot things.

Also, we now have yet more poop to trade with the Beatles.
>>
>>21645871
I saw the worlds 'perfectly ride-able' in the description. They are, thus, perfectly ride-able.

>>21645807
ON TO DOUBLEARMOR!
>>
>>21645900
Oh yeah, forgot the Featherstone could make ogres lighter.
>>
>>21645900
>having to waste featherstone to drop
>not just geomancing the ground to bleed off the momentum
>>
>>21646095
>having to use geomancy to cushion fall
>not just closing eyes to suddenly appear on the ground
>>
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>>21646095
>>21646157
>>
Actually...
Featherstone+geomance an appropriate shape+replicate pickaxe enchantment+trial and error to figure out method of usage+probably a lot of healing=featherstone hoverboards?
>>
>>21645674
>[X] Workshops!

"... and this is the heart and soul of our empire's finished goods production, yes-yes!" their Scaratone guide proudly proclaims, once he recovers from the shock of ogres being ogres. "Forges farthest in the back of this particular cavern, and the workers' jelly production to our left!"

"WE NOTICED," Celicia growls, pinching her nose shut from the smell and glaring daggers at the world in particular.

"SKREEEEEEEEEEE," Big Bat adds happily from somewhere near the back of the group, loud because everyone else is being loud.

"... a-and the sorcerers' crafting tables are over there," the Scaratone finishes meekly, waving a chitinous hand in that direction. "Creating magical items, yes-yes, to aid our war effort against the insidious Formichroma. We are to give you this technology, yes!" The robe-wearing Scaratones are hard at work around the scattered tables, glowing faintly from their expenditure of magical energies; Boss Bawss thinks he catches a glimpse of a something white on the table, but he can't be sure.

(Cont.)
>>
>>21646197
Let's save those ideas for our next tech roll.
>>
>>21646206
The elves' reaction is somewhat stronger; most of them turn to look at the tables, their eyes glowing slightly due to the ambient magic in the air. "What do you make here?" Celicia asks, the usual note of dry sarcasm gone from her voice.

"Oh... the usual," the worker says airily. "Featherstone conditioning, to create our floating carts; parchment and writing implements, if there is need for preservation of the paper; the usual sundry things that make day-to-day living easier, yes-yes."

Boss Bawss is only listening with half an ear as he looks around, somewhat in awe of this cavern. All the worker Scaratones, all these crafting stations to work and create things with their own hands, all combining together to make- like- some big engine of awesome thing-making...

In fact, it kinda makes the thing-maker in him want to make things.

[ ] Go to the forges!
[ ] Go to the food(???)-crafting tables!
[ ] Go to the magic-crafting tables!
[ ] Write-in...?
>>
>>21646157
Fuck.

Alright, I'll concede that to you, sir.
>>
>>21646221
Magic tables
>>
>>21646221
>[ ] Go to the magic-crafting tables!
Time to make those featherstone hoverboards that anon mentioned
We Ogireka Selven now
>>
>>21646221
Forges! DOUBLEARMOR!
>>
>>21646221
Pick up one of the magic-crafting tables, move it right next to one the forges, make something new and interesting.
>>
>>21646221
[x] Maaaaaagic time!

If only Gubbins was here for this.
>>
>>21646221
>[ ] Go to the forges!
>[ ] Go to the magic-crafting tables!
BOTH!
or just the forges it that is not possible
>>
>>21646271
>>21646272
Wait, no, I change my mind. Time to make magic hover armor!
>>
>>21646221
Forges!

Maybe we can figure out how to make more hittin' sticks...
>>
>>21646221

[x] Go to the forges!
>>
>>21646221
>[x] Go to the magic-crafting tables!

Boss + magic = idunknow... Ogres.

It will be brilliant.
>>
>>21646271
yes. this right here. "i want to make summen. scuz me" pick up nearest magic crafting table while apologizing to the one using it and then carry it over to the forge. "watch this, this is gonna be cool"
>>
What if we made the Heaviest Fucking Armor we could and then mixed it with feather stone? Maximum protection while still being able to move
>>
>>21646322
Yes, yes. A thousand times YES.
>>
Magic tables, I guess. Bawss can't do shit with jelly and the Scaratones are probably better at forging than him. Least he's a latent geomancer. Wish we'd brought Gubbins now.
>>
>>21646330
That'd have to be some heavy shit. Ogre armor is probably already a quarter-ton.
>>
>>21646271
>>21646322
Wait, holy shit, this.
>>
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....... stopping votes here, because the consensus right now is intriguing as it is terrifying

>[X] Go to the Forges AND Magic Crafting Tables

THUS, YOU GOOD DENIZENS OF /tg/ KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS

>***STUPID LUCKY TIME?***
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
>>
Rolled 16

>>21646441


LETS GO
>>
Rolled 56

>>21646441
>>
Rolled 15

>>21646449

Fuck.
>>
>>21646449

I thought that you were never allowed to roll again?
>>
Rolled 77

>>21646441
By the way Blorp what would happen in we got both a 100 and a 1 in the same roll?
>>
Rolled 33

>>21646441
>>
Rolled 54

>>21646441
HURRR
>>
Rolled 89

>>21646441
LETS GET STUPID!
>>
Rolled 65

>>21646441
Orge time?
>>
Magic + Food= magical food or magical military rations OR MAGICAL FOOD WEAPONS
>>
Rolled 59

>>21646464

?
>>
>>21646449
Diceroll 2: The Wrath of Blorp
>>
Rolled 47

>>21646465
>>21646466
At least we have these
>>
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24 KB
>>21646465
>>
Rolled 54

Well this one didnt go quite as well
>>
>>21646513
I don't know.

>15
>56
>16

Blorp gave us a thumbs up for two inverted rolls last time, so...

captcha: gugeenm Hospital

But just in case....yeah we might need one.
>>
Rolled 18

Dese bugaloos gon' be mad again
>>
Know what we could use now?

Some INTERVENTION.
>>
Rolled 74

>>21646550

Might as well.
>>
>>21646507
Don't even pretend that you don't love it.
>>
>>21646555

>INTERVENTION.

Why not, could be fun.
>>
>>21646550
if my 77 doesn't count use intervention
>>
We have a 77 and a 33
>>
>>21646570
Guilty as charged, mate

>>21646576
Too far removed from the roll call, sorry!

>>21646550
Right then, someone's calling for a [GODDESS OF LUCK INTERVENTION]. Roll with it?

[ ] Yea
[ ] Nay
>>
>>21646595
Nay
>>
>>21646595
Yes. I want to go full ogre on our field trip.
>>
Rolled 63

>>21646595

Crafting roll. Best time to use it, eh?

[X] Yea.
>>
Rolled 84

>>21646595
Yea!
>>
>>21646595
How long did it take to charge the last one?
>>
>>21646595
>[X] Yea
The madness must continue
>>
>>21646625
>>21646595
Yeah, what's the cool down on this again?
>>
>>21646595
Nay
>>
Rolled 49

>>21646655

Two threads, maybe three.
>>
Rolled 31

>>21646595
Nah.

A) We need to save dat bish and let it build up for when we REALLY need it.

B) I want to see what would happen if the ogres fuck this up.
>>
>>21646625
......... like

a thread

But there's a one-thread cooldown, so it'll be available again the thread AFTER next! Which honestly isn't too bad, since we don't plow THAT far ahead in the plot(?) in a given thread
>>
>>21646595
yes. very much yes. i believe she has something she wants us to have
>>
>>21646595

[X] Nay

Seems like a silly time to use the boon. I think we should save it for when shit is getting real. Not just to get FABULOUS PRIZES.

What is the cooldown on it again? That affects the decision as well.
>>
>>21646595
>[x] Yea

What madness shall we unleash upon the world?
>>
>>21646663
Alright, good enough.

[x] Yeaaaaaah!
>>
[X] Yea!

>last time
>intervention when talking down elves
>Bawss becomes master diplomat
>this time
>intervention when mixing magic and metal
>Bawss becomes Shirou Emiya
>>
>>21646680

Nevermind. One thread, got it.
>>
[Yea]

I want to watch some brains break over this.
>>
>>21646595
>>21646655
>[x] Yea
>>
>>21646595
[] Yea

Hopefully the hive/capital survives
>>
>>21646595
[x] Yea
>>
>>21646595
crazy time, lets do this
[X] Yea
>>
>>21646595
No
We don't need to waste it on something as trivial as this
>>
>>21646680
2 threads, which is why I don't want us to waste it on something as trivial as making some new toys
>>
>>21646780
>>21646794
What the hell does trivial mean?
>>
>>21646809
Small, unecessary, something that bending the entirety of reality towards is a waste
>>
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>>21646595

I will say [Nah] purely because I get the feeling that we'll be getting into proper fighting next thread.

That said, it may end up with the Ogres creating Miniguns or Rocket Launchers if we use it now
>>
>>21646809
They're wanting to save it for something like a run-in with the Formachromia. The way I see it is half the thread is treating the intervention like an ability to spam for free whenever its cooldown is up and the other half is treating it like that one really good item you never use until the end of the game because you don't know if you'll need it more in the next encounter.
>>
>>21646809
Something minor and unimportant. Clearly those two/that one guy don't understand the word. This isn't trivial, this is AWESOME. USE IT!

(Also, I'm glad I finally had chance to participate in one of these, not just read it on sup/tg/. Best quest thread in a long while.
>>
Rolled 29

>>21646595

Intervention confirmed.

HOLD YOUR HATS 'ERRYONE SHITS GETTIN' REAL.
>>
>>21646846
We still have to go back and if ay a visit to Ogir Place and prepare them for war and I bet that will take at least one whole thread.
>>
>>21646853
We still have other things to do before that battle. Like the Ogre-Elf expedition. Which would probably take one thread. And there's the pre-war planning as well. We've got the time.
>>
>>21646878
And then we have another thread without it after that
>>
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>>21646853
we did get doubles in the first 5 posts, so even if we don't use it, we still might make something cool.

>>21646865
>>21646874
Don't waste this on some stupid shit, wait till we get in a proper fight
LIKE IN THE NEXT FEW THREADS
>>
>>21646794
Think of it this way, either way wemaremprobably going to cause massive property damage, but this way our allies might thank us for it (and our enemies might not immediately exploit the breached defenses)
>>
>>21646831
>Implying that bending the fabric of reality could ever be a waste.

If you are bending the fabric of reality to do something I doubt the end result could ever be considered trivial.
>>
>>21646891
>And then we have another thread without it after that
No, we can use it on the very next thread after the one thread cooldown.
>>
>>21646846
I see what you're saying, and I agree that there are probably greater needs in the foreseeable future, but I still want to use it. The point of this thread, to me, isn't just to win. It's to win awesomely, and even if we lose, to be as amazingly, stupidly worldshattering as possible in the process. Using a luck intervention in such an ogrey plan as "use the crafting table and forge together!" is just how to go about being that reality-breaking.
>>
>>21646901
The result won't be but the reason for using it will be

This is along the lines of your ice cream falls off the stick onto the ground so you use your power to rewind time once a week to stop it
>>
>>21646894
STUPID IS A GOOD THING IN OGRE CIV
>>
>>21646901
Well, okay, but do remember if we don't wait for enough post-roll dubs to build up the effect will be lesser

one day we might need to summon some meteors or something
>>
>>21646946
Stoopidly luck
>>
Rolled 31

>[x] Yea
>>
>>21646929
But then the ice cream re-materializes after you eat it, thus granting you infinite ice cream.
>>
>>21646894
>not wasting time on stupid shit

Where do you think you are?
>>
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>>21646928
I thought that it continuously snowballed, so if we left it for a while, it becomes a similar level of power to that of a god. Or is it just a single use thing thats the same every time.

Blorp, how does it work?
>>
>>21646972
Guy you're responding to here. That's how I've always understood it, too. I'm not saying it'll be as earthshattering as the last time, but that doesn't mean it won't be awesome.
>>
>>21646972
It does snowball. The longer it sits and the more rolls it accrues, the more potent the intervention.
>>
>>21646972
Unused dubs stock up to make it more powerful
It does snowball and it gets more powerful as we wait so spamming it will get us lots of small gains where waiting will get us turning things into artifacts
>>
Rolled 46

>>21646993

After 8 doubles stored it starts all looking the same kind of stupid awesome. So it becomes as earth-shattering as the first.
>>
>>21646972
... a little from column A, a little from column B. Theoretically, the effect improves over time; practically, there's only so much I can differentiate between "THIS IS A FUCK-AWESOME EFFECT" and "THIS IS A FUCK-AWESOME EFFECT TIMES LIKE NINETY-NINE." It's also highly dependent on the kind of shit I can think up on a moment's notice, and that's even harder to quantify.

Still, I do try to give bonuses if it's been a while since our last one. That said, I'm still working the kinks out of this system (this is only like the second time we've ever used it), so we'll see!
>>
>>21647034
............ you know, this is pretty close to what I was trying to say, actually!
>>
>[x] Yea
>>
>>21646962
>one day we might need to summon some meteors or something
>Implying we won't just do that by accident at some point.
>Implying we won't make friends with some sort of aliens that lived on the meteors.
>>
>>21647048
Depends. Are they sentient? If so, you're right. Otherwise, we'll get Squiggles to go to work on them and get Chrysalids for steeds.
>>
>>21646595
I say Nay, for now. We use it when we leave, so we can see the elf melt and queenie giggle.
>>
>>21647093
That is an utterly terrifying idea there.
>>
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>>21647048
>Implying that this isn't on the Meteor.
>>
>>21647048

...So, the Ogres make friends with the Orks?
>>
>>21647111
And then everything was great forever.
>>
>>21647111
>Implying we wouldn't befriend/tame it
>>
>>21647111
wouldn't that make some kind of Awesome/Lucky Singularity that would destroy the Multiverse?
>>
>>21647124
Yes.
>>
>>21647139
Also yes
>>
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>>21647134
>Implying that we would not do manly combining.
>>
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>>21647093
>>21647111

>Implying such things matter.
>Implying we won't make friends/tame what ever is on the meteor.

I notice that no one questioned when I said we'd summon meteors by accident one day.
Also, no one questioned that we'd find something on the meteor.
Only questions are about /what/ will be on the meteor.

I love this quest.
>>
>>21647199
Yeah, that's kind of the thing about this quest.

Anyway, USE THAT INTERVENTION!

I was first against using it the first time we used it, but now I see, thinking it trivial and that we could do this at some other time. Oh what a fool I was! Use 'dat intervention! Maybe we'll become even more reality warping!
>>
>>21647048
>we summon a meteor
>it has the bugs from Starship Troopers
>squiggles tames them
>we ride into battle on Tankers and Warriors

This must happen
>>
>>21647199
Dude, you win. I was the one who suggested Chrysalid mounts, but Xenomorphs? EVEN FUCKING BETTER! It's official: We need to devote our luck to trying to accidentally summon meteors. Gubbins has a new Geomantic goal.
>>
>>21647263

What if...

What if it was a meteor from the Daemonic Universe?
>>
>>21647236
...you do realize that we already have bugs for allies right?
>>
>>21647263
I would think Astronomy would be a category we'd been to unlock.
>>
>>21646441
>[X] Magiforge: 16 - Not So Good...
>[GODDESS OF LUCK INTERVENTION!]

Boss Bawss looks at the forges- which look much like the ones the Scaratones donated to Ogir Place. The red light of flames hot enough to melt and reshape metal flickers in his eyes.

He then looks to the magic-crafting tables, which are intricately gilded affairs suffused by a calmer, more seductive glow, an aquamarine light that seems to make Boss Bawss's dark blue skin all the more unearthly. Honestly, it's hard to decide whether to do one or the oth-

And then a bolt of inspiration strikes the larger ogre, right out of the blue: /why not do both/?

The wizard Scaratone feverishly works on his project, his eyes glowing within the confines of his patterned hood. This project will be the salvation of the Scaratone race, he just KNOWS it- he and his fellows have direct orders from his Queen to see it finished as soon as possible, and-

"Psst," the large, not-at-all-ogre-shaped shape in a cloak whispers. "Can I borrow a table?"

"What-what? Yes, yes, go ahead, Glalkik, what did I tell you about bothering me??" the wizard Scaratone hisses, not looking up from his work.

"T'anks very kindly," not!Boss Bawss rumbles, bodily picking up the adjoining free table and moving off to the forge.

(cont.)
>>
>>21647296
Some minutes later, Boss Bawss frowns at his workstation (which is simply a magic crafting table side-by-side with a forge), deep in thought. "Right then," he rumbles, hefting a piece of ore in his left hand, and some basic rocky probably magic-like object in his right (it's PROBABLY not important, since there were like a trillion of those things lying around the magic-crafting rooms).

"Right then," Boss Bawss repeats to himself, slowly bringing his hands together. Because- because that's how you forge things, right? "Let's do dis thing."

"... and that's how our people learned to use Featherstone, yes-yes!" the Scaratone finishes with a flourish, his audience of elves hanging onto his every word. "The theory behind the Featherstone is really quite interesting, once you get down to it, but thanks to the effort of Queen Skilkk, all those years ago-"

"Where's Boss Bawss?" Celicia says suddenly, glancing around uneasily.

THAT stops the conversation cold. The elves blink, looking at their surroundings with increasing worry, while next to them, the ogres stop trying to give belly-rubs to the bats, pinged by someone saying their boss's name.

"Fuck, he was here just a second ago- Boss Bawss?" Celicia calls out, trying to see around the ogres. "Boss Bawss, seriously, this isn't funny, where the hell-"

"Sorry guys! Here I am," Boss Bawss's voice rings out, sounding like it's coming from a place just a little bit higher than usual.

"Oh thank fucking everything," Celicia breathes a sigh of relief, turning around. "I thought you got eeeeeeeeeeee," she squeaks, tilting her head up just to get a good look at Boss Bawss. Behind her, the others- elves, ogres, and giant bats- do the same.

(cont.)
>>
>>21647263
MAKE IT HAPPEN MAYNE

>>21647285
Pish posh. It's just a sky rock.
>>
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>>21647277
NOW WE NEED FISH/DEMON ALLIES

OGRES: FIGHTING FOR EQUALLY REPRESENTATION AND POLITICALLY CORRECT VIEWS FOR ALL
>>
>>21647277
But we still lack bugs that can spew lava at our enemies.
>>
>>21647285
They're basically big fucking rocks, right? A high enough level of Geomancy, plus our own crazy stupid luck, should be all we need for an accidental call-down.
>>
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>>21647263
Boss shall ride on the back of a Queen.
We will name her Fluffy.
>>
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>>21647307
Boss Bawss sits in the cockpit of what looks like some large, terrifying bipedal beast made out of interlocking iron plates, strangely turning gears, and nightmares. Two strangely-jointed legs are slung beneath the undercarriage, and the slick lines of the body seem to truncate in pipes facing out the back. Finally, a stylized creature's head finishes the ensemble off, its 'mouth' agape and showing off fangs.

Boss Bawss scratches his head, not sure how to interpret the expression on the elves and ogres' faces. "... so I made dis thing."

"Yes. Yes, I can- I can fucking see that," Celicia deadpans, her eyelid ticking nervously again. "What the hell?"

"Well, I took dis thing," Boss Bawss begins.

"Yes?"

"And I took dis other thing," he adds, pantomiming holding one thing in each hand.

"... yes?" Celicia croaks, already dreading the answer.

"... an' I put 'em together."

Absolute silence meets his pronouncement.

(Cont.)
>>
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>>21647333
"Well, okay then," Celicia says flatly, her eyes already glazing over slightly. Behind her, most of the elves are already bent under the weight of their own minds trying to neatly slot this occurrence into some logical, grounded-in-reality explanation, and failing miserably. "So how are you going to get it out of the hive?"

Boss Bawss purses his lips as he thinks. Then, he shrugs. "Walk it out?"

Celicia opens her mouth to say that no, it's too big to simply be walked out. And then she closes her mouth, realizing that NOT telling him this, and leaving him unaware of the size difference, would just lead to the ogres getting it out of the hive with absolutely no trouble whatsoever.

"So, let's continue dis tour, huh?" Boss Bawss says brightly.

>Boss Bawss has created a personal suit of Ogretek Armor! It's...
>...
>Well, it's loaded down with functions that Boss Bawss can't really explain, let alone understand, so, um...
>...
>Suffice to say that Boss Bawss will be pretty damn strong in this thing. I mean, it's not like it's decades, if not centuries, beyond anything anyone can make right now, so, um...
>...
>The gods help anyone foolish enough to face Boss Bawss in this thing.

>CONTINUED for Status Report in 10-15 minutes!
>>
Rolled 36

>>21647339

Told ya. Awesome.
>>
>>21647339
OGRETEK YEA
>>
>>21647339
but does it have a drill?
>>
>cheating on our bug bros
No.

Besides, we still have to TUNNEL TO THE CENTER OF THE PLANET (and chat up the Tarrasque), remember?
>>
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>>
>>21647339
It's... it's so beautiful. No words can properly explain such wonder. I.. I think I am crying.
>>
>>21647356
We give it a drill

THEN we put it INSIDE Ogir Place when our demon starts causing trouble/goes kaput

THEN we summon the meteor and put Ogir Place inside the meteor, and convert THAT into an ocean-traversing combat island.
>>
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>>21647339
Well you know what they say

ITS TIME FOR A CHANGE OF PACE
>>
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>>21647333
>>21647339
I know the classic MagiTek armor, and I know what you've shown us, but I can't help but picture this thing looking like Ormagoden from Brutal Legend. Gentlemen: Did I or did I not tell you it would be worth it to use the intervention?
>>
>>21647339
...You know, usually I would be shouting "what in the fucking hell" but honestly? Only one thought came to mind.

Ogres.

And I was calm, and all was right.
>>
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>>21647413

Fuck you, that is EXACTLY what my mind pictured, even opposed to Blorp's picture.
>>
>>21647413
>>21647432
Fuck, me too. Maybe the demonic influence of Cuddles is getting to us.
>>
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>>21647339
>>
>>21647389
And the best part is that we got a squeak out of Celicia with this one.

I wonder if the other Ogres will take a look at it and figure, I can make one of them, I just need to take this thing and this other thing and bam.
>>
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>>21647339
>>Well, it's loaded down with functions that Boss Bawss can't really explain, let alone understand, so, um...

So, it's Megas.
>>
>>21647456
Honestly, from that I picture even the queen and everyone in the hive could hear that squeak. The queen is likely giggling.
>>
>>21647456
Probably.
I mean if one ogre figures something out the rest just sort of pick it up by osmosis / hive mind of OGRES
>>
>>21647456
Then they just need to figure out that if you this robot, and that robot, and bam!
>>
>>21647472
The perfect description.
>>
>>21647413
>>21647432
>>21647446

CUDDLES IS CORRUPTING US ALL..... Or maybe it's just Ogres?

Yeah, that seems more likely, Ogres.

....Ogres....
>>
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>>21647472
>So, it's Megas.
>>
>>21647472
No it's Gurren Ogrenn
>>
>>21647413
>>21647432
>>21647446
Well, if all three of us went there, I guess Ogres are just that METAL. Also, Blorp, around the time of "took the thing, took the other thing, and put them together," I was laughing so damn hard sound had stopped coming out. Well played sir, well played indeed.
>>
>>21647339
So it's armor? Since, going by the picture, I imagined it to be more of a mount.
>>
Rolled 59

>>21647339
>>The gods help anyone foolish enough to face Boss Bawss in this thing.

...and some of you guys didn't want to use intervention.
>>
I love it. The process makes wonderfully demented sense.

Take some magic stuff, and bang it against some other metal stuff and then wait for science to happen.
>>
>>21647506
Oh god.

Guys. We gotta attach a drill to this thing.

And then attach it to the top of Ogir Place.
>>
>>21647511
Still didn't.
It is cool but I think we could have chosen a better time to use it
>>
So what? Does this thing give Boss Bawss Fistboss +99 to any combat role when he's riding it?
>>
So I've been wondering, as the elves slowly lose their battle for sanity (or get saturated with ambient OGRE) will their team color change from green to blue?
>>
>>21647472
>Coop - Bawss
>Kiva - Celicia
>Jamie - a frightened scaratone chronicler sent by the queen to record everything Bawss does for posterity
>>
>>21647534
No, no, no. We attach a drill to it, then we attack the steering wheel to it. That way we have a mech that controls the island, and will give us better control over the limbs of Ogir Plase.

Its the perfect plan.
>>
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>>21647472
>CHICKS DIG GIANT ROBOTS

>>21647509
Yeah, it's more of a mount; I'm just keeping the 'Armor' name because, well.

>>21647546
WELL, it's not an automatic you-win button; you'd still have to do combat rolls. It just

... greatly, greatly amplifies the effect of successful rolls. And even if you guys roll bad...
>>
>>21647561
>>a frightened scaratone chronicler sent by the queen to record everything Bawss does for posterity

Blorp please make this a reality.
>>
>>21647561

>Queenie then rights horrible fanfiction about Bawss and the scaratone chronicler whenever he sends back a document of their latest shenanigans

It's honestly quite terrifying how easy it is to see this happen.
>>
>>21647576
It greatly amplifies, not replaces?

>Roll one hundred
>Use intervention
>Use robot

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
>>
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>>21647589

You're right.

It is quite terrifyingly easy.
>>
>>21647578
>>21647589
I am imagining her ordering him to draw pictures as well as write words, so she ends up spending all of her days reading Ogir Kawmik, da Storee of Bawss
>>
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>>21647472
>>21647413
>>21647432
>>21647410
>>21647449

So its some horrific combination of Megas, the beast of Ormagoden and the DeathEgg?

Oh fuck
>>
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>>21647589
why
WHY
>>
>>21647589
>implying she wouldnt ship Bawss with Celicia for maximum squeakage
>>
>>21647538
>Looks upon the sheer awesomeness that we have been given.
>Still doesn't think we should have used it.
>Thinks we could have put it to better use.

You! I know you.

You're that guy that said we shouldn't do stupid and random things ain't ya!

SHOULDN'T do stupid and random things!?

Are you trying to ruin the quest for everyone?
>>
>>21647628
>Implying Queenie's fanfiction wouldn't be GAR oriented.
>>
Ogrren Placgann+Ogretek Armor gattai when?
>>
>>21647660
Soon
>>
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>>21647660


SOON
>>
>>21647339
>STATUS REPORT
The ogres have learned cooking! A brand new world of culinary delights await the ogres! The ogres have also refined their forging skills, at least to some degree!

... the ogres have also summoned some kind of terrifying demon monster, and proceeded to beat the shit out of it. The demon, Archdemon Lord B-something (or just Cuddles) is now entombed underneath Ogir Place, and his always-present aura of foreboding demonic hellfire is no longer merely a way to make him look intimidating- no, it's currently being used to power all of Ogir Place's fire-based needs.

... this will totally not have any repercussions at all in the future.

More importantly, perhaps, the ogres (and some elves) embarked on another diplomatic expedition to Scaratone Hive, hobnobbing with the nobbiest of nobs, Queen Kilkkarak! After another bout of diplomancing and trading, Beastkrumpa Squiggles proceeded to tame bats, and Boss Bawss Fistboss made himself a...

... a thing. Yes, 'a thing' is probably the best way to describe it. Because, seriously, when even the OGRES THEMSELVES are scratching their heads over the damn suit of Ogretek Armor, you know you've got something special going on.

Sadly, the ogres are unable to replicate Ogretek Armor, despite Boss Bawss Fistboss's insistence that it's totally simple.

And... well, we come to the very first (not-moderated-by-Boss-Bawss) ogre and elf expedition to Ogir Crater...

(Cont. in 10-15 minutes!)
>>
>>21647678
So, are we actually "controlling" the expedition? Or are we getting a "recap" of what happened?
>>
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Obviously what Bawss needs to do is learn powerful magic while giving himself amnesia. (He can smack himself repeadetdly in the head with a magic tome to do BOTH!) and then decide to conquer a dwarven town to the north.

Also bring along 2 ogre redshirts as 'backup'.
>>
>>21647678
>Ogres not moderated by Boss Bawss
Oh god, I didn't think of that. I don't know if that is a means for tears, or cheers.

Probably both.
>>
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>>21647678
>very first (not-moderated-by-Boss-Bawss) ogre and elf expedition to Ogir Crater...
>>
>>21647660
If we make this happen then I will have no regrets over using the goddess intervention.
>>
>>21647708
There are no "red shirts" every ogre is precious.
>>
>>21647635
I never said not to do stupid random things I said not to waste awesome stuff on trivial things
>>
>>21647678
Cuddles is bulbox calling it
>>
>>21647880
bulbox?
>>
>>21647880
Okay, this isn't the first time I've seen that reference here. The only Bulbox I know is the Pikmin monster. What are you talking about?
>>
>>21647843
...why did we waste the Luck Intervention on armor when we could have used it to save our Orge comrades?
>>
>>21647898
>>21647945
The Villain of EVO: The Search for Eden and the Main bad guy of EVO quest.
>>
>>21647983
Oh, THAT guy! I never read EVO Quest, but I definitely remember Search for Eden. Best SNES game ever.
>>
>>21648010

EVO Quest was the hammer upon which Blorp's sanity was destroyed and remade.

It's also the origin of one of the most horrifically terrifyingly adorable abominations ever perceived....that also ended up going Gureen Lagaan, except with Necromancy and souls.
>>
>>21648010
>Best SNES game ever.
I wouldn't necessarily say that it was the best, but it was definitely up there with the big ones like Secret of Mana, FF 6, or Zelda:Link to the Past.
>>
>>21647678
It's been a quiet few days of walking.

Before the start of the journey, Geomancer Gubbins had piloted Ogir Place in Ogir Crater's direction, but dropped off the small mixed group of ogres and elves some distance away. After Ogir Crater had been drained of water, no one was sure what the hell inhabited Ogir Crater now, if anything.

"Probably nothin'. I mean, da boss decided dis was gonna be a recon run thing, to go an' grab some stuff," Gubbins had decided with a shrug. "But if there's somethin' goin' on in there, you guys'll probably want da jump on 'em, so you can krump 'em before dey crump you. Or run away, if there's more than like- like a lot."

And that was that.

Boss Bawss and Commander Celicia had each appointed a leader for each of the respective groups, the only ogre and elf to really have any contact with each other- the ogre being the inventor of the Featherstone Airdrop, and the elf being the one the ogre had caught, thankfully before she'd become a smear on the desert sands below.

... still, it's been a quiet few days of walking; neither elf nor ogre really wanted to interact with each other, outside of what their jobs required. Lighter on their feet and better able to serve in a scouting capacity, the elves usually ranged ahead, reporting back to the ogres, who brought up the rearguard and carried most the extra supplies (each elf carried their own rations and ammo, anyway).

(cont.)
>>
>>21648099
Right now, Ogre Leader was busy dealing with one of the ogres, hanging at the back of the marching group for a one-on-one talk. He was nervous- he was just a miner, and really didn't think he was cut out to be leading anyone, let alone ogres AND elves. "You wanted to ask me somethin'?"

"Yah," the other ogre rumbled, scratching his head. "I been wonderin' somethin' about da elves ever since we met 'em, you know? Didn't know if I should ask you or them first, but..."

Ogre Leader nods. Totally reasonable. "An'? Wot's da question?"

The other ogre grimaces. "Well... it's just... da girl elves, dey scare me a little, you know?"

"... dey scare everyone," Ogre Leader replies gravely.

"Naw, naw, dat's not wot I meant. I meant- look, all da girl elves, dey have these-" The other ogre fumbles for his words, before taking a breath. "Okay, you noticed their chests, right?"

Ogre Leader blinks. Come to think of it... "Yah?"

"Why do girl elves have their butts on their chests?"

(Cont.)
>>
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>>21647678

>We have a MECH!
>I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!

Uhh...so closer to A or B?

Honestly, I could fudge it either way based on the description.
>>
>>21648107
There's a long, drawn-out moment of silence, broken only by the quietly chatting ogres in the line ahead of them and the howling desert wind.

Eventually, Ogre Leader licks his lips, ransacking his mind for some sort of answer. "W-ell, ya see..."

"'Cause, I mean, dat's real un-hy-genic," the other ogre blurts out, all at once. "Like, I'm afraid to go near 'em, 'cause... /butts/," he repeats in mild horror. "Why do elves got TWO of 'em? Why is dere one facin' front an' one facin' back? Wot do dey need 'em for?"

"... well," Ogre Leader drawls, feeling like he's perched on the brink of some terrifying abyss. "It's... it's probably a real messy subject to 'em," he ad-libs. "Like- you shouldn't ask 'em about it, you'll probably insult 'em or make 'em wanna kill you or some strange elfy thing."

"But da Scaratone Queen never had 'em?" the other ogre persists.

"Dat's because- well-"

Ogre Leader is, thankfully, saved by Elf Leader calling his name. "The crater's right up ahead," she says as she walks up to him; despite being younger than Celicia, she's still every inch the professional. "But you're going to want to see this..."

(cont.)
>>
>>21648122
The ogres and elves stand on the edge of Ogir Crater, peering in. It's changed quite a bit since last time, mostly due to the lack of water anywhere. Gubbins's geomancy-formed rock tunnel leading straight to the bottom is still there, however.

... the large, almost perfectly circular tunnel set in opposite sides of the crater- as if something tunneled straight through without bothering to wait- is definitely new, however.

"... wot da heck is dat?" Ogre Leader breathes. The tunnel is tall enough for two ogres, one standing on the other's shoulders, to pass through, and wide enough to fit no less than FOUR ogres walking side by side.

Elf Leader chews her lip. "I'm... I'm really not sure. I swear I've seen that somewhere before, but..."

They continue staring for a little while longer, though the troops behind them are shifting as they wait.

Better make a decision, and better make one soon.

[ ] Enter the tunnel leading westward; distant sounds can be heard emanating from it.
[ ] Enter the tunnel leading eastward; it seems to be silent, at least for now.
[ ] Return to Ogir Place and report on this. It's too big for just us to tackle alone.
[ ] Write-in?
>>
>>21648108


...WHY NOT BOTH?!
>>
Rolled 31

>>21648132

To the west!
>>
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>>21648108
... as much as the mecha enthusiast in me loves B, I envisioned it a lot more like A!

That said, /fuck yes/.
>>
>>21648132
Okay, we're natural Geomancers so let's start by Blocking one of the tunnels, the Eastward one, so we don't get hit from behind. Then very carefully explore the westward one cautiously, ogres taking the front, perhaps with sharpshooters atop of them, and a rearguard of elves.
>>
>>21648132
[x] Enter the tunnel leading eastward; it seems to be silent, at least for now.

Seems safer. Send the elves first.
>>
Rolled 4

>>21648151

Because that would split our forces thin.
>>
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>>21648151

Pic related
>>
>>21648108
Hey, why not
>>21648151
?

Have the two forms, with the two-legs no-arms being the movement mode and the normal body being combat mode?
>>
>>21648177

He was responding to the BossMech design.

I firmly fucking support it.

But let's go west or return home.
>>
>>21648132
Elf-recon the sounds from the west tunnel. Two ogres accompany, rest of ogres wait around tunnel opening in ambush.

Recon try to ascertain sounds and if hostile, draw them out in the open.
>>
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>>21648151
>>
>>21648132
I vote the silent one, myself.
>>
>>21648132
[ ] Enter the tunnel leading westward; distant sounds can be heard emanating from it.
>>
>>21648132
ONWARD, EXPEDITION!
>>
>>21648132
>[ ] Enter the tunnel leading westward; distant sounds can be heard emanating from it.

And be ready to run on a moments notice. This is recon, we shouldn't be getting into a fight if we can help it.

Put the Orges in the front and rear with the elves in the middle. Walls of meat with dakka in the middle.
>>
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>>21648132
Wait a second Blorp.
Its not like Pic related is it?

If so can we tame them and ride them?
>>
>>21648251
ORGE'DIB! BOSS BWASS, DA SLEEPAH AS EWOKEN!
>>
>>21648251
if that happens i would love Blorp forever.
>>
>>21648251
>pic related

MOTHERFUCKING DUNE WORM OUT OF NOWHERE
>>
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>>21648251
Sadly, nope!

It's either better or worse, or both, depending
>>
Twoards the noise. Silence means death in these cases. Means somethings hunting.
>>
>>21648301
That sounds both terrifying and awesome.
>>
>>21648301
Knowing this quest, I don't even know what that could mean, except that it will blow me away when it happens.
>>
>>21648132
[x] Enter the tunnel leading westward; distant sounds can be heard emanating from it.
>>
>>21648132
>[x] Enter the tunnel leading westward; distant sounds can be heard emanating from it.
>>
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>>21648151
>>21648181
>>21648183
>>21648214


>I reject your reality and substitute my own!
>But...
>OGRES!
>Fine...

And then we were a transformer. Color coded to show where things go.
>>
>>21648519
Now all it needs is a flying hover mode and it'll be like an extremely lucky version of Robotnik's egg floaty chair thing
>>
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>>21648519
>>
>>21648519
And lo, everything is explained and right with the world forever.

You rock dude.
>>
>>21648132
>[X] Go west, young ogrelves!

Elf Leader bites her lip. "... we should at least see what's going on down there," she finally decides. "If we can, we should scout it out so that we can give the Boss and the Commander something more to work with..."

"Wot? Er... guess dat sounds good," Ogre Leader rumbles uncertainly.

"And we should take the west side. There are sounds coming from that end, so whatever made these tunnels might still be there."

"Er... yah?"

Elf Leader gives him a green-eyed /look/. "... we're BOTH leaders of this expedition," she says, a trifle flatly. "The ogres look up to you, not me. If you don't step up..."

"Right, right, I got it, I can totally lead an' stuff," Ogre Leader shoots back, raising his hands defensively. "Let's get down there an' see wot's wot."

With the tubular rock tunnel leading down, it's only a matter of minutes before the small mixed-race party is walking through the underground path, doing their best to stay quiet.

"Woteva made dis place was real big," Ogre Leader grumbles under his breath, giving the smoothed-out walls a suspicious look. "I don't like da look of dis..."

"Shhh!" Elf Leader hisses back. "Quiet, we don't know if-"

BOTH elves and ogres freeze in their tracks when a new voice suddenly echoes back towards them.

"Hullo? Oi, is there anyone back there?" a gruff, heavily-accented voice calls out, the 'r's rolled slightly. "Thornhammer, I swear, if you're playing silly buggers again, I am going to kick yer sorry arse to high heaven...!"

[ ] [HIDE] Hide and stay silent! ... we CAN stay silent, right?
[ ] [AGGRESS] Fight! It's one guy, take him out!
[ ] [FLEE] Fly, you fools!
[ ] [WRITE-IN] Say something back...?
[ ] [WRITE-IN] Do something else!
>>
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>>21648519
WHY NOT BOTH INDEED, MY FRIEND

WHY NOT BOTH INDEED
>>
>>21648651
Say something back.

"Uhrmrm. We's just some inconspicutus bunch of animals out here. Not thornhammer or a swaud of ogres and elves with boom sticks. Nope! We're just like...rabbits and snakes and stuff."
>>
>>21648651
[X][SAY SOMETHING BACK]Oh hell, it's dorfs.

We're Ogres. Across the multiverse, one thing remains constant: ogres is good at krumpin'.
>>
>>21648651
"Nobody here!"
>>
>>21648651
Oh god, we found dwarves. My mind has blanked, someone else deal with this.

>>21648320
Dammit.
>>
>>21648698
Er, ignore that second line. Forgot to erase it.

>>21648691
So much this.
>>
>>21648651
DORFS? Be terribly, bluntly honest.

"Ain't Thorhammer, 'm afraid! 'S Grublick, of Ogir Place! An' whozis I'm talkin' ter?"
>>
>>21648691
Oh god yes. Do this.
>>
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>>21648651
Blorp, if you did what I think you did, I am going to find you and make sweet love to you

>[X] WRITE IN

'ULLO, is anyone down 'der? We was just comin' back for some of our stuffs an' we found dis 'ole!
I iz Ogre Minboss an' dis is wasserface 'da Elf, who are you?
>>
>>21648712
and also say something about that if they were using the big thing up there that were are sorry but we took it
>>
>>21648651
[X] [WRITE-IN] Say something back...?

"Uh hey. We is friendly by the way. Is dis your tunnel, awful nice tunnel you got, real smooth.

We used to live here, but then we decided to move."
>>
>>21648651
>[x] [WRITE-IN] Say something back...?

"Hello? We'z the Ogres and da Elves. Who'z you?"

He said hello, let's be friendly and say hello back. It's the Ogre thing to do in this situation.
>>
>>21648651
>>21648651
Say hello and lower any weapons

AND FOR THE LOVE THE GODS DONT CALL THEM STUNTIES
>>
Rolled 18

>>21648651
"Ho-yuss, someone 'ere. Someone there?"
Elf-leader facepalms.

Probably dwarves by their swearing.
>>
>>21648651

[X] [HIDE] Hide and stay silent! ... we CAN stay silent, right?
[X] [WRITE-IN] Say something back...?

Ogres! Camouflage! Remember to keep those eyes shut.

Elves! Go be sneaky! Keep line of sight, but make sure you can't be seen. If necessary, hide behind the now invisible ogres. Hey, if they can't see the ogres, they can't see you right?

Leaders! "We aren't Thornhammer. Hello? We are not looking for a fight, but wanted to see who was living here."
>>
>>21648651
>[X] [Write-in] "No, 'ya wee halfass, i'm just mining like 'ye should be!"

We do voices.
>>
>>21648788
ok i kinda like this one. make it look like there is only one of each. but make sure to tell them we are part of a group
>>
>>21648691
One more vote for this.
>>
>>21648788
Wait... Dorfs have that weird hair wot grows on their jaw, right? So, what I wuz thinkin' is... We remove our hat an' place it on our chins, then we look like dorfs!
>>
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... okay, it looks like the consensus is just to stand up and speak honestly, so...

>***STUPID LUCKY TIME?***
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)

This is more of a minor roll, don't worry; I just need your guys' help to decide something real fast.
>>
Rolled 96

DO IT!
>>
Rolled 90

>>21649009
>>
Rolled 91

>>21649009
STOOPID LUCKY TIME!
>>
Rolled 66

>>21649009
herpa derp
>>
>>21649009
you fool
>>
>>21649024
>>21649025
>>21649026
>>21649031
Welp
>>
>>21649024
>>21649025
>>21649026
>>21649031
We allied with dorfs now.
>>
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1.17 MB
>>21649024
>>21649025
>>21649026
>>21649031
Did we just get three rolls, not one below 90, on a mere decision making roll? Followed by doubles? Pinch me, I must be dreaming.
>>
>>21649024
>>21649025
>>21649026
>>21649031
Minor roll, huh? Well... That happened.
>>
>>21649024
>>21649025
>>21649026
And thus the Ogres were known amongst the Dwarves as famous conversationalists
>>
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>>21649024
>>21649025
>>21649026
>>21649031
>>
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Rolled 8

>>21649024
>>21649025
>>21649026
>>21649031
>>
>>21649024
>>21649025
>>21649026
>>21649031

>96, 90, 91
>double 6's
>6's are upside-down 9's

...Ogres.
>>
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>>21649024
>>21649025
>>21649026
>>21649031
>mfw
>>
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>>21649024
>>21649025
>>21649026
>>21649031

And my ribs have been officially broken.
>>
>>21649056
See, the problem is... it WAS going to be a minor roll
>>
We need to stop getting such stupid lucky rolls. I think it's seriously slowing down the OP writing up crazy good luck scenarios
>>
>>21649116

If that was the case, we would still be on thread 1.
>>
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1.15 MB
>>21649024
>>21649025
>>21649026
>>21649031
>>
>>21649108
>was going to be a minor roll

Oh this is going to be good.
>>
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>>21649108
AND IIIIIIIIIIII
WILL ALWAYS LOOOOOOOVE YOOOOOU
>>
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>>21649090
What does this mean?!
>>
>>21649379
It means Ogres.
>>
>>21649009
>>21648651
>[X] Say something back (and be honest)!

Elf Leader nearly chokes. Really? Of all the fucking people that could show up in this godsforsaken desert, it had to be-

Before she can stop him, Ogre Leader peers into the darkness. "Er, sorry, we ain't exactly Thornhammer," he calls back, all friendly-like. "We're da ogres, of Ogir Place! We also got some elves wit' us, an' dey live at Ogir Place, too. Wot're you guys?"

There's a long, long moment of silence.

"... now, lads," the voice calls back, sounding a lot more cautious than it was mere seconds ago. "I'm just gonna be coming right on over and taking a good, long look at you, alright? Just to be sure of something. Don't you be moving a muscle, now."

Seconds later, a small, bearded face pokes its head around the corner, staring at the arrayed ogres and elves standing there.

It disappears back around the corner. The sound of some strong alcoholic beverage (now considered EXTREMELY suspect by its owner) being poured out of a thermos can be heard.

The bearded face pops back around the corner and stares. The elves and ogres refuse to disappear, like any good alcohol-fueled fantasy.

"... well, fuck me sideways, shave my beard, and call me Nancy," the short bearded man grumbles, rubbing at his eyes.

"On the whole, we would prefer not to do that," Elf Leader replies evenly. "Dwarves aren't our type."

(Cont.)
>>
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>>21649471
"Well, well, just when I thought I've seen it all!"

A minute or so later finds Elf Leader and Ogre Leader conversing with their first dwarf ever. Like most of his race, this one stands half as tall as the elf, but is MUCH more heavily muscled than any elf could ever dream to be. The dwarf is clad in grubby miner's gear, his only nod to conventional armor being a leather apron and a mining helmet, his goggles pushed up.

Currently, his wrinkled face (what wrinkles can be seen around his intricately braided salt-and-pepper beard, of course) is grinning in bemusement. "Elves working together with ogres? Hah! Never thought I'd see THAT day coming. So what the hell brings the likes of you to the likes of this forsaken hellhole, anyway?" he asks, looking between the two of them.

Elf Leader breathes a mental sigh of relief. Of all the stupid lucky things to happen to them, they happened upon the one dwarf in this entire continent who doesn't stick to his peoples' creed of shooting ogres and/or elves first, and asking questions later. "Surviving," she says succinctly. "We're... in a mutually beneficial alliance. You'll have to ask our bosses for the details..."

"Aye, aye, I can't blame you, not in Terra Incog-fucking-nita!" the dwarf chortles back. "And with the kind of ogres you found- why, I've never heard of ANY of them bandin' together like you do!"

"So... you DON'T wanna murder us?" Ogre Leader asks curiously.

"Weeeell..." The dwarf hems and haws, stroking his braided beard. Ogre Leader can't help but stare- how long does it take him to braid that shit? "Not me personally, nah. But I can't speak for the other dwarves..."

(Cont.)
>>
>>21649471
>"Dwarves aren't our type."
Of course not. Ogres are.
>>
>>21649481
"What are you even doing here in the first place?" Elf Leader asks, tilting her head in puzzlement.

"Well now, I can't tell you that much on a first meetin', lassie! Maybe on the second date," the dwarf adds, giving her a bawdy wink. "But... hm."

After a moment, the dwarf nods, as if making a decision to himself. "Yeah, okay, I rather like the look in your eyes! Both of yours," he adds. "But I'm not going to lie, this is kind of beyond my payroll. If you guys want, I can try to arrange a meetin'- for you or your leaders with the higher brass, I mean. Or we can go our separate ways an' forget this meetin' ever happened."

Elf Leader frowns at that. "You would really let us go, just like that? Without alerting your superiors?"

"Eh," the dwarf shrugs noncommittally. "We're dwarves. We dig, and we dig, and we focus on the underground, you know? Unless you guys got business down here, and come into direct competition with us, I don't see why they have to know. We're all used to feeding the higher-ups horseshit, ain't we?" he adds, winking again.

[ ] [MEETING] Let the dwarf carry word of Ogir Place back to his superiors, and arrange a meeting with both sides' bosses at a later date.
[ ] [NOPE.JPG] Take the dwarf up on his offer- have the dwarf not take word back to his higher-ups, and both sides go their separate ways (with the main body of the dwarves none the wiser).
[ ] [WRITE-IN...?]
>>
>>21649491
Yeeeees. Meeting.

captcha: destruction Nigheren

Nothing can go wrong.
>>
>>21649491
>[MEETING]
Ain't no man, demon or god that can stand against Boss Bawss's manly charms and stupid luck.
>>
>>21649491
MEETING! WE NEED MORE TINY OGRES FOR OGRE PLACE
>>
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>>21649491
>[X] Meeting

Yeah, sure, our boss love talking to new people!
He's off talking with the Bug people now, they is really nice to both of us. If you ask really nicely, maybe he can introduce you as well!
>>
>>21649491
[X] [MEETING] Let the dwarf carry word of Ogir Place back to his superiors, and arrange a meeting with both sides' bosses at a later date.

Also let him know that us Ogres are pretty good at this dirt business as well and advise him to try and get along with the Scaratone and Queenie.
>>
>>21649491
We are gonna want to meet with them, if only to get them talking with the Scaratones before those two come in direct competition with one another.
>>
>>21649522
...But not the bad jerk spiky bug people. The nice bug people what eat poop.
>>
>>21649557
Yep, this is just a diplomatic crisis waiting to happen. Gotta preempt it.
>>
>>21649491
>[X] [MEETING]
"We wot made an island walk. An' fly. Why wouldn't dey want ta meet us? Plus, Boss Bawss ain't nevah met a dorf b'fore. 'E likes meetin' new people."
>>
>>21649491
[Meetan']
[Talkan']

So let me tell you about Ogir Plase/Why there's a hole here...

>dquatem jury
Hopefully the quantum jury aren't involved, Captcha.
>>
>>21649491
>[X] [MEETING] Let the dwarf carry word of Ogir Place back to his superiors, and arrange a meeting with both sides' bosses at a later date.
>>
>>21649565
The bad jerk spiky bug people, to be fair, might not be as jerky as we think. We just need to krump 'em real good until we can get them to jibber-jabber about their troubles. And then fix those problems by krumping them (with dice.)
>>
>>21649491
Meeting, as long as it's at a later date. I'd rather let Bawss handle it, what with his diplomancing and all.
>>
>>21649491
>[x] [MEETING] Let the dwarf carry word of Ogir Place back to his superiors, and arrange a meeting with both sides' bosses at a later date.

But warn em about the bad bug guys. and tell em about the good bug guys and not to squish their workers. and tell him why there is a crater in the first place.
>>
>>21649491
Meeting
We need more types of people to be honorary ogres

And more people for the elves to share the mind breaking over ogres being FUCKING OGRES
>>
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>>21649565
>>21649615

We need to tell him about this as well.
We'd get some brownie points with the Dwarves if they know what to look out for in the desert.

>>21649542
Also, we should tell him about some of the stuff we found, like the Water Stones and metals, so he knows what to dig for.

If we tell him all this, and the Dwarves listen, we'd get major friend points along with setting up some new allies
>>
>>21649691
How about we just give them the warning first, then share valuable information after we've engaged in discussions with them?
>>
>>21649755
maybe if we tell them we found some of this stuff in the Ogre Crater, so they'll come back and invest in digging out the area? So we can meet them there at a later date?

Also, what would the Dwarves thing about us being bros with a god of the Earth? Especially the God of Earthquakes?

And us being all Geomancer's?
>>
>>21649491
>[X] [MEETING (LATER!)]

"... well, Boss Bawss Fistboss's probably gonna wanna talk to you an' your boss," Ogre Leader replies easily. "He likes talkin' to people."

"Hah! Well, I'm sure the higher brass loves talking to people, too, so he won't be alone," the dwarf chortles, slapping one knee.

"Yah! He talked to da beetle-men, an' we're all friends now," Ogre Leader adds. "But watch out for da bad bug-people, dey're kinda big an' weird-colored."

The smile seems to freeze on the dwarf's face. "You... you actually managed to /talk/ to those bugs?" he asks, his levity slightly strained.

"... yah?" Ogre Leader hazards.

"Ach!" The dwarf throws his hands up into the air dramatically. "Who knew? Centuries of explorers getting attacked by those guys, and it turns out that all you need is a little ogre diplomacy to get in good with them...? By my beard, the top brass REALLY wants to talk to you now!"

(Cont.)
>>
>>21649785
I see what you're saying, but you're jumping the gun here. Urgent stuff, like not fighting the Scaratones, we can talk about, but everything else should wait. Valuable resource/location knowledge can be traded for favors later on, and ANY knowledge of our full capabilities should wait. If the negotiations go south later, we don't want them knowing all our advantages. Let's wait for Bawss to get back before we give away all our secrets.
>>
>>21649830
"Our respective diplomats are currently out on a mission, actually," Elf Leader interjects smoothly. "I imagine we would require about a week before they can meet with your leaders."

"Hmm... is that so?" The dwarf strokes his braided beard again, before nodding. "Well, the top brass is always busy, but I'll see what I can do. I like to think he listens to reason," he adds. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta get back before people think I've been eaten. You'll want to leave these tunnels- we got dwarves working on both ends, so it'll do ye no good to be seen this early. But I'll tell 'em! This place, in a week!"

"'Ere, wot's your name?" Ogre Leader calls out as the dwarf starts jogging back up the tunnel.

"Lockstock! Lockstock the miner! And don't you even think of finishing that saying!" he warns jovially, waving as he departs.

With that, the mixed group of ogres and elves have no reason to linger in Ogir Crater, and begin the trek back home...

>The ogres have made first contact with the dwarves! A new Quest option has opened up.
>The ogres and elves have... slightly increased their teamwork?

>Cont. in 10-15 minutes for a State of Current Affairs, and then Status Report/Choice Pickin'!
>>
>>21649830
>>21649843

YAY
NEW FRIENDS
>>
>>21649878
We gonna collect ALL o' da people, and befriend the SHIT out of them!
>>
>>21649905
...Possibly LITERALLY, for the Scaratones.
>>
>>21649843
>The State of Affairs Right Now:

Amidst preparations to aid the Scaratones, the ogres now have a date and time to make a diplomatic rendezvous with the dwarves in Ogir Crater! Why are they here? HOW did they get here? What are they even planning to do? Those are some pretty important questions that need answerin', probably.

Next, the ogres have a slight problem! ... or, well, the elves do, actually. Celicia has been worrying long and hard over the fact that their numbers can't be replenished, and they're about to head in to support the Scaratone people. But perhaps there IS a way around that...?

Finally, the keen-eyed elves have made a report- there are mountains, much farther to the west of Scaratone Hive. A landmark in this barren realm, aside from the desert...? It might be worth looking into, should the ogres be able to spare the time.

But... don't forget, there's still that strange shimmering structure to the east! DARE YOU ENTER THAT MAGICAL OBJECT?

(Cont.)
>>
>>21650023
>STATUS REPORT
-----------------------------------------------
**Ogir Place (+Floating, +Limbs, +Sandstorm Drill, +Steering Wheel)**
-----------------------------------------------
- ***Population: 89/89 ogres (6 dead), 30/30 elves
- Landmarks: Oasis, Daphnaia, Underground Cave/Quarry, Underground [???]s
- Food: Fish(-), Cacti(-ow), Fungi(+), Wheat, Potatoes; Fair Growth (+24/turn)
- Resources: Hellfire Energy [Captive Archdemon Lord], Sandstone, Iron+Chromite Ores, Featherstone, Aquifer Pebbles
- Diplomacy: Scaratone [Featherstone Carts, Fungi, Paper]; Felpowder Elves

- Key Items: Tomes (Dragon Lore, Illusory Magic I, Necromancy I)
- Arms: Cactus Maces, Iron Scimitars, Crude Iron Armor, Demon Helm/Shoulderpads; Ur-Camouflage
- Vocations: Ogres: Geomancers (∞), Berserkers (4), Beastmasters (1)
- Beasts: Giant Bats (Untrained), Naked Mole Ravagers (Untrained)
- ***Settlement: Reinforced Rock Shanties, Storehouse, Mushroom Farms, Pier, Anchor/Staircase, THE FLAMES OF HELL

- NPCs: Boss Bawss Fistboss [+30 Diplomacy, !Ogretek Armor!], Geomancer Gubbins [+30 Geomancy, +WE ALL GEOMANCERS NOW, +Ruoumoko], Beastkrumpa Squiggles Irwin [+Beast Whisperer, +Big Vulture]
- Tech: Fire, Fish, Agriculture[+Protection], Cooking, Mine, Smelt/Forge, Write/Read, Magic Item Crafting, Hats, FStone Flight, FStone Airdrops, Airships!
- Magic: Geomancy I, Healing 0, Climate Control 0
- ????: I don't get it.
- Justice: Krumpin' Duels / Boss Knows Best
--------------------------------------
(Cont.)
>>
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>>21650031
--------------------------------------
**CHOOSE THREE STRATEGY ACTIONS, AND...**
--------------------------------------
[A] Food: Can we refine what we have...?
[B] Settlement: Can we improve it?
[C] Arms: [BONUS] One HELL of a turn continues!
[D] Tech: Can we start combinin' shit?
[E] Magic: Now to internalize [HEALING] and [CLIMATE CONTROL]- or learn some new shit...
[F] Beasts: [BONUS] Moles? Bats? Why not both?
[G] Unlock Category: Discovery!
[H] Write-In! Wot do?
--------------------------------------
**... AND CHOOSE TWO QUEST ACTIONS**
--------------------------------------
[A1] [DWARVES] It's a date!
[B1] [ELVES] Let's... /increase/ the number of elves!
[C1] [INVESTIGATE] Strange shimmering structure to the east! No change in status yet, but...
[D1] [EXPLORE] Mountains, far to the west of Scaratone Hive...
>>
>>21650046
B, C, F

A1, B1.
>>
>>21649913
OH THATS FRESH
>>
>>21650046
[C] Arms: [BONUS] One HELL of a turn continues!
[F] Beasts: [BONUS] Moles? Bats? Why not both?
[G] Unlock Category: Discovery!

and

[A1] [DWARVES] It's a date!
[C1] [INVESTIGATE] Strange shimmering structure to the east! No change in status yet, but...
>>
>>21650060
I support this.
>>
Rolled 78

>>21650046
G, C, F

A1, B1

I really want to finally know what that last fucking category is guys, cant we spare one turn to open it?
>>
>>21650060
Seconding this one.
>>
>>21650046
C, F, and G. Two bonuses, and can we FINALLY see what that last thing is? It's been bugging the shit out of me from the outset.

As for the action... I want A1, but I kind of want to know what Bawss has in mind for B1, so count this as a vote for either.
>>
Rolled 85

>>21650046
E (healing) and E (illusion), F beasts.

A1 Dwarves
B1 Elves
>>
>>21650046
[H] We need to interrogate Cuddles, our cuddly demon!
[C] Let's do this!
[G] For the love of god, can we please just unlock that Last Damned Category?!

[A1 steaksauce ] Dorfs!
[B1] I'm sickened, but intrigued.
>>
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>>21650046
>[X] Beasts
Because we have been putting them off for ages, and I want to see some Ogre Mole Cavalry covered in Featherstone.

>[X] Food
We can cook now, lets put it to work

>[x] Arms
Lets see what his Ogre armor can do!

~~~~~~~~

>[X] Dwarves
Even more bestest buddies!

>[X] Elves
Whhy do they have butts on their chests?
>>
>>21650046
C,E,F
A1,B1
>>
>>21650046
C E F
A1 B1
>>
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>>21650046
STRATEGY
>[C] Arms: [BONUS] One HELL of a turn continues!
I like Arms, and I like Bonuses. Maybe we can make some cool shit for the Ogretek Armor, like some kind of sword?
>[F] Beasts: [BONUS] Moles? Bats? Why not both?
I can't help but notice that none of our beasts are trained...
>[G] Unlock Category: Discovery!
That last ??? on the status update is bothering me.

QUESTS!
>[A1] [DWARVES] It's a date!
DORFS DORFS DORFS
>[B1] [ELVES] Let's... /increase/ the number of elves!
Oh, I have GOT to see this.
>>
>>21650046
[G] Unlock Category: Discovery!

Definitely want to see this last thing.
>>
Rolled 64

>>21650046
It is time for G - wot is dis?!
And D.

Also - AI and B1! How babbys born?!
>>
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890 KB
>>21650077
Forgot picture
>>
Rolled 96

>>21650046
G
E
B

A1
B1
>>
>>21650046

[C] Demonic arms that will be very firstrated to find out trying to whisper to Ogres in their sleep only results in getting smothered in ogre ass.
[D] Let's keep this gravy train rollin'
[F] These poor animals are just gonna keep pilin' up and mukkin about unless we figure out something to do with them.

[A1] Dwarves are a must. NEVER stiff a date.
[B1] bow chicka wah wah
>>
>>21650046
D E G

A1 C1
>>
>>21650046
C E and G
and then
A1
B1
>>
File: 1353308082466.jpg-(242 KB, 700x700, mfw carry.jpg)
242 KB
Hey guys, I just had an idea.

What if we use our Geomancy to fire enemies and stuff we don't want or what would be funny to through upwards (Like squeaky Elves) in to the air on pillars of Earth, then get the Bats to catch them mid air to bite or drop over a certain area?

Or to stylishly mount them from the Earth, by firing the Ogres up on pillars of Earth, so we don't have to waste time landing and, by jumping off with Featherstone, not landing with them?
>>
>>21650046
E,F,G

B1,C1
>>
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I-i-increase? N-number


GODS DA-
>>
File: 1353308315147.png-(43 KB, 165x165, STUPID LUCKY TIME 4.png)
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RIGHT, looks like we have our winners!

>[X] Beasts
>[X] Arms
>[X] Unlock Category
and
>[X] Dwarves
>[X] Elves

Therefore...

>***STUPID LUCKY TIME?***
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
>>
Rolled 76

>>21650297
HARGLE
>>
Rolled 4

>>21650297
LETS DO IT
>>
Rolled 31

>>21650297
Go. Go. GO!
>>
Rolled 90

>>21650297
STOOPID LUCKY TIME!
>>
Rolled 90

>>21650297
OH GOD WHATS GOING ON?
>>
Rolled 12

>>21650297
Sweet, all mine made it through!
>>
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49 KB
>>21650314
>>21650320
>>
Rolled 56

>>21650297
>>
>>21650325
And yet I get the worst roll possible in this quest. Shit.
>>
"Dice+d100"


LEEEETS DO IIIIIT
>>
Rolled 57

>>21650297
Overall not bad rolls.
>>
>>21650340
You're doin it wrong
>>
Okay, doing beasts first! ... though that'll be the last post in this quest for the night!
>>
>>21650314
>>21650320
Ha! Both the Elf and Dwarf rolls are 90.
>>
Rolled 20

>>21650334
>>21650365
Both of them rather shouty too.
>>
>>21650359
Works for me. I love your quests, but it's past 2 AM here, and I've got CrimLaw tomorrow.
>>
>>21650359
Noooooooo more ogres, get some sparkly juice in you so you can keep going!
>>
>>21650309
I can't wait to see what tops the cracktus stick for our arms development

Cracktusimp sticks maybe?
>>
>>21650428

Perhaps cacti nun chucks?
>>
>>21650428
>Stuff injured imp in cactus
>Throw cactus
>Prinn... I mean imp explodes
>Cactus needles everywhere
>>
>>21650476
>Combining Felpowder with thrown Cracktus
>Ogres with frag grenades
My god...
>>
>>21650519
Cracktus cannons on Ogir Place... we need this now.
>>
>>21650046
>[X] Beasts: 76 - Successful!

Ever since Boss Bawss and his crew returned from Scaratone Hive, these past few days have been pretty stupidly busy. Most of the ogres busied themselves with stockpiling their crops and/or churning out arms and armor, while the elves focused primarily on training themselves and making sure they have enough ammo.

The prospect of war is serious business, after all.

Two ogres sit on the edge of the oasis, taking a break from a long day of work and cooling their feet in the water. One nibbles on what appears to be stalks of wheat (burnt after being thrust directly into the cooking fires), while the other gnaws on a potato (which is slightly easier to roast over a fire).

"So I heard da Beastkrumpa's been holed up in da beast caves all day," one of them says conversationally.

"YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Squiggles howls in exhilaration, charging out of the cave while clinging desperately to a (much smaller) naked mole rat that's trying to throw him off. After a few moments, they disappear back into the cave.

(Cont.)
>>
>>21650554
The other ogre ignores the ruckus, turning instead to blink at his conversational partner. "Wot? Really?"

"Yah. Ever since he-"

"BABIES! SO MANY BABIES!" Squiggles gibbers excitedly, his arms full of small squirming pink infant mole rats and bats as he runs around in circles. "WHY CAN'T I HOLD ALL THESE BABBIES!?"

"- ever since he came back from da Scaratones," the ogre continues, munching away at his snack.

"NAKED MOLE RAVAGER MILK! GIANT BAT MILK!" Squiggles cheers, holding up two full carts of the liquid. "SO MUCH FOOD, SO LITTLE TIME!"

(Cont.)
>>
>>21650561
The other ogre scratches his head. "Huh. Guess all dis worked out for-"

"HOLY SHIT, YOU CAN GET ENTIRE SIDES OF MEAT JUST BY PUNCHIN' DA MOLE RAVAGERS!"

"- for him, huh? I mean, he's havin' fun an' all, so-"

"I'M DA DICK-SWINGIN' KING OF DA WORRRRLD!" Squiggles howls, a giant bat carrying him in its claws while the ogre somehow manages to ride a naked mole ravager- all at the same time.

The two ogres on break pause to stare as Squiggles-riding-a-bat-and-a-naked-mole-ravager rapidly disappears off into the horizon.

"... I worry 'bout dat boy sometimes," the other ogre finally says, turning back to his meal without further comment.

>The ogres have discovered (okay, reaffirmed their abilities regarding) [ANIMAL HUSBANDRY]! Their beasts are an unlimited resource now.
>The ogres have discovered Naked Mole Ravager riding! Rough Riding Calvary unlocked!
>The ogres have discovered Giant Bat riding! Bat Riding unlocked!
>The ogres have discovered Naked Mole Ravager and Giant Bat milk! ... try not to think about it too much. Ogre growth rate increased!
>The ogres have discovered Naked Mole Ravager steaks! Harvested without any harm to the animals in question. Ogre growth rate increased!
>>
>>21650566
Fucking ogres...
>>
>>21650566
>Harvested without any harm to the animal in question.

I'd like to imagine this means the rats just cough up T-bone steaks every once in a while.
>>
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>>21650566
>mfw all dat tech
>>
>>21650581
This is now my interpretation as well.
>>
File: 1353309931948.gif-(2.98 MB, 300x225, my sides.gif)
2.98 MB
>>21650566
MY SIDES
>>
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>>21650566
... and I have to get up in five hours, so that's a wrap for tonight! As Thanksgiving is coming up (and as I'm going out of town), the next quest thread won't be until... shit, probably-

Post-Thanksgiving Wednesday, 11/28, at 7 pm EST.

Thanks for participating, and I hope you guys had fun- happy holidays!

... and yes, I haven't forgotten about those bonus scenes. They'll be popping up next time, I promise!
>>
>>21650604
Thanks for running, as always! Itypically just read it on sup/tg/, glad I finally got to catch one as it was going!
>>
Rolled 66

>>21650561
Oh god I can't breathe! I can't breathe!
>>
>>21650604
Tell me Blorp, why do I get the feeling we are about to have short stumpy bearded ogres soon?
>>
>>21650566
>>The ogres have discovered Naked Mole Ravager steaks! Harvested without any harm to the animals in question

how does that even work?
>>
>>21651108
Its Ogres. Don't think about it.



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