>>21495514
>vitalist
You've been undead how long and you're already trying to be edgy?

>>21495536

>EXIF data
>"November 1, 2012"
>Still looks fresh as hell

She's been dead maybe two weeks, tops. Awfully nice reconstruction job if she really was hit by a car, though. At least she got put together by somebody competent.

Why you poor creature, the Purifying light of god will see you through this dark path.

everyone get down I've primed the incendiaries

File: 1352436133845.jpg-(161 KB, 558x529, 1347945650937.jpg)

Looks like you're.....

dead to rights.

>>21495536
Check your vitae-privilege, breather.

>>21495514
>Border wards
What kind of police state are you living in? I've heard of those around courthouses and military bases, but the whole damn town?

Somewhat relevantly, what country? There was a case a few years ago in SCOTUS with some people who were reincarnated, a lawyer might be able to do something with that.

>>21495569
Don't make me call the police. Revenants usually aren't infectious; she's just a flesh golem, not a ghoul. I don't like the stiffies either, but they're still people. My unit has to take down a fucker like you every week, seems like.

>>21495564
Revenants don't fall apart do they?

Also, I know mindless undead don't have rights other than the rights of the body they're made from, but a free willed undead I don't know about.

>>21495598
It's this shithole in the Midwest. Got completely freaked out with the whole Red Scare and Grey Panic back in the Fifties; put up wards to keep the Commies and the Fey out. Never really took them down after the Berlin Wall fell because this place is full of fundies and they're still paranoid about the whole thing.

I'll look into those cases; sounds applicable.

>>21495514
Represent, sister! The breather scum and the Animarchy just want to keep us down. Don't hate your new post-life, embrace it!

>>21495601
Fucking tombhuggers, hope the rot takes you.

Humans please remember to cremate your dead. Whether or not their moving.

Have you tried becoming dead... again? Are you deathless?

>>21495686

Honestly, I'm afraid to check. As far as I can tell, attempted suicide's still a crime if you're undead, and I don't exactly fancy a "life" sentence for what might wind up being forever.

And, I mean... what if it doesn't work? I don't think I've got magic regeneration powers or anything; I don't /think/ revenants work like that.What if I end up horribly crippled and still aware, or something?

>>21495721
Rent a woodchipper.

A nice one.

Dive head first.

>>21495762
Don't forget to pour some oxidized silver in their first to completely destroy the tainted soul as well.

Ugh. I've been there, buddy. Flesh golem here.

I've been on the other side of the Great Divide for almost thirty years now. Some Neo-Nazi punk with no idea what he was doing, trying to fuel a Thule-Gesselshaft death ritual or something, and I guess he thought I looked Aryan enough to turn into their Ubermensch. I suppose nobody told them that golems were Jewish. Or that I was, I guess.

I still have flashbacks to the looks on all those other sacrifice's faces... hell, I saw Rabbi Berkson there, with a dagger through his face.

Any other deadfags here?

It's a damn shame what passes for necromancy these days. Some hicks in the middle of nowhere find two rituals off the internet and suddenly there's frickin undead everywhere.
No offense to you of course, it's not your fault, but seriously? I know the second amendment was interpreted to include magic after the Roe vs. Merasmus trial in the 60s, but there really ought to be better magic control. We really can't afford to let all of this arcane art fall into the wrong hands with mana to spare.

>>21495796
SKELETON HERE
BEEN REANIMATED FIVE TIMES NOW
BASICALLY DOWN TO THREE FINGERS AN ARM HALF A RIB CAGE AND A SKULL NOW
CURRENT MASTER IS USING ME TO TYPE ONLINE EVERY SO OFTEN.
HAS 7000 OF US DOING THE SAME THING
I DONT GET IT
HE SAYS IT PROTECTS HIM

>>21495861

I'm assuming that your master also sacrificed your Caps Lock key?

Also, seven /thousand/ skeletons? Where the fuck do you even get that many skeletons? Why doesn't he just use, like, seven proxies or something?

>>21495861
Necromputer pls leave

>>21495514

Yes, you most definitely have rights. You're a soul occupying a form with self-awareness that became so on United States-owned land, so therefore you're a citizen, ever since the term "birth" was extended to all acts of creation that spawned an aware creature with an appropriate level of Spengler flux. Spengler v. United States, seminal "personhood" case after the Awakening.

Also, death does not remove citizenship. Aris "Twiceborn" Callahan v. State of Georgia, who tried to deport Callahan because some vamp from overseas turned him into a bloodsucker on account of his "father" wasn't an American Citizen (Greek, to be precise).

I've contacted the appropriate authorities, sir. Please be calm and we'll have a federally-appointed advocate out there to see your rights under the law are respected- as long as you aren't doing anything criminal (acts of revenge against your killer or other felonious activities) you should be out of there in no time at all and even ready to pursue a lawsuit.

The United States does not tolerate discrimination against the animated.

>>21495861
We can upgrade you to be painternet compatible... for a fee

>>21496018
Thank you so much! I was worried I'd never get out of this shithole. Are there any support groups or something I can join? I'm so happ-

>sir
Oh come on, I'm not /that/ androgynous, am I?

(Oh god, that's the worst thought. Pervert necromancer surgeons. Free sex change with your unwanted resurrection. Christ, I hope nobody out there does that.)

>>21495916
master is very diligent and patient man
has toured many cemeteries and morgues
is hex on sight in some hospitals
also not picky just want one hand that can type
like me
with three fingers and limited dexterity due to shattered body and essence very hard to keep track of keyboard sorry

>>21495972
am hoping someone finds me and finally renders me impossible to reanimate again
cannot think of worse fate than being stuck floating skull after this


must go master wants to go troll place called /v/

>>21496062
>Free sex change with your unwanted resurrection.
That happened to me. The necromancer was trying to fabricate his perfect female. So he put my (male) brain into a fresh female body (to which he had done all kind of shit to make her perfect, I'd rather not dwell on it. Let's just say that if he bled her out, it was because he really liked pale-skinned girls). I don't get how this kind of people can be so stupid at times.

I don't know what this is but I want to know more.

>>21496018
There's a bit of a buzz down in texas right now, some illegal immigrants comitted suicide then paid to have their bodies smuggled over the border and raised. They're arguing that that makes them citizens of the US now. The watchdogs and extreme Republicans are arguing against it, the hippies and extreme democrats are arguing for it, and everybody with more than half a brain is sayin this needs careful examination and thought.

As for OP, if you can scrape together enough cash to move, come on down to New Orleans. You'll have tourists throwing money at you just to pretend to be the result of local voodoo. Most of the actual houngans in the area are skilled undertakers as well, so they can patch up any mistakes or errors the amateurs who raised you did. Long traditions of constructive necromancy here.

There are several ways to break or bypass wards, depending on how well made and what type they are, but that usually gets ruled as destruction of government property, so i don't recommend it unless absolutely neccessary. Depending on what state you're in, you might be able to contact one of the organizations that helps rescue amish kids. They sometimes have the gear and know-how to break holes in wards.

>>21496325
/tg/ is doing improv right now. sit back and watch the magic happen

>>21496334
>There are several ways to break or bypass wards
The easiest is easily to travel on water. There are only a few spells that resist to moving water. Or, if you're not too bothered, underwater. That's how one undead reporter I know got in and out of North Korea.

>2012
>Letting yourself be reanimated in America
ISHYRDDT

Did you hear about the latest victim of that torture ritual? The girl is in shambles, well, mentally.

They say she's a complete shut in now. Probably needs to be in a facility somewhere.

>>21496384

...I forgot about the river. How the fuck did I forget about the river?

Brb, escaping.

>>21496509
Glad to be of help.

>>21496334

Come up to the Northwest Rocky Mountain States some time too. They're all more tolerant of nonhumans and the Undead after the Northern Mountainhomes and the skeletal legions of the old Mktar Tribes united with the Montana, Idaho, and Wyoming National Guard and Militia to curbstomp the failed Soviet invasion back in the late 60s. It was a disaster of a military operation everywhere they landed, but up here they were utterly dismantled in under six hours with an almost 0-100% casualty rating, and it left quite an impression. Besides, all three states essentially succeeded from the US in the 90s, so they just ignore all the federal magic regulation laws along with all the others.

We got plenty of Occultists (AKA Gutter Magic users), odd nonhumans, people that have had themselves raised after death to be with the families, awakened Golems and Animations, little bit of everything. It's like a rural version of Downtown Chicago, but with more guns and deer, and fewer Vampire Death-Cultists of Kar-Ra and Crack-dealing bikers. Hear that the big Mages College in Vermont is considering moving down here, and if the new Humanity First laws get pushed through the House, then we'll see a big influx of nonhuman immigrants.

Quick legal question, do those reanimated laws apply to reforged? I'm a pyromantic blacksmith while working I accidentally lit my friend on fire. So acting quickly I converted her body into a mechanical one. Now I'm worried about her well being.

>>21496840
and while working

God damn panic.

>>21496840

I think you could be in serious trouble. You're a pyromancer and working in a forge, and you didn't have a fire extinguisher nearby? Even if she's still "alive" and walking around, you could be facing criminal negligence charges.

Honestly, reanimation without the express, informed, and formal consent of the subject is a legal minefield, and you're in for a long and uncertain trial no matter what.

As for well-being... a hastily-done reanimation, especially if you're not formally trained, is an incredibly dangerous business. She could suffer dangerous personality faults, memory sweeps, emotion decay, soul leakage or a dozen other things, and that's not even counting the psychological issues associated with body dysphoria and vital transition shock, not to mention her legal status.

You could be in a lot of trouble, bro.

>>21496731

NJ's starting to have a pro-meta human bent to it, even if it's not as gray as Montana, Idaho, Wyoming or New Orleans. The Lichbeloved and Second Life Amendment Acts are going through the house with an incredibly high approval rating and the latest census has Union County ranked as the second highest amount of Revived Americans on the east coast, only second to somewhere in Vermont.

I wasn't expecting the bill to pass before, but it looks like Christie has lightened his stance on necromancy, since he was revived in the middle of his first term after his heart attack.

>>21496931
Yeah, that tends to do that to people.

>>21496931

Hey, have you heard what's been going on in the Supreme Court? The Chief Justice ended up dying and being reanimated, and now there's a huge legal battle going down between the President's appointee and the Chief Justice as to whether the Supreme Court's lifetime tenure should end just because somebody died.

Either way, this is going to end badly...

>>21496910
The worst part is, she came to warn me about how I needed a extinguisher and then the accident happened. The problem is that I work with True Ignus which tends to well, not react to extinguishing methods.

I'm not worried about any legal repercussions on my part, I just don't want her treated as a second class citizen.

>>21496968
I don't know Brazil's Undying Justice system has helped it out of its economic troubles.

>>21497004
Theoretically she's an equal, no matter what.

Then again, black people were theoretically free after the Civil War, but it took practically a century before they actually started getting decent levels of civil rights in the South, and even then they couldn't legally practice voodoo until the seventies despite court cases ruling that it clearly fell under the First and Second Amendments.

What I'm saying is, while she may be legally and theoretically a full citizen, in practice (depending on where you are) that might not match up. Local laws, state laws, refusals to enforce federal statutes, corruption, social custom...

>>21496968

Not really. The tenure is for LIFE. That has a very strict legal definition, whereas personhood and sapience are a bit more nebulous. It's why there're reanimation clauses in insurance policies nowadays.

Now what's really going to shake things up is if he's re-appointed to the bench. He's very well-preserved, and could serve for multiple millennia.

>>21497068

Yeah, but just think about it. Justices pretty much never retire, and they can't be fired; if the Supreme Court doesn't die, it could literally be occupied by the same people forever, then they can become insanely overpowerful and the Court will never receive injections of new opinion. It'd be like if we still had to deal with the Marshall court, two hundred years later.

>>21496062

Actually, you'd be surprised. There's a small but steady stream of reanimations that when a spirit finds their original body unsuitable, ended up in the nearest one that was. It's less obvious when it's a skeleton, but "sir" is a generic measure of respect to an entity that may or may not be male, or occasionally not even have a sexual identity anymore- regardless of the occupied body.

Ma'am.

>>21497120
Oh. Sorry, I'm rather new to all of this.

>>21496334

I can tell you that the Department of Karma is going to be arguing that along the lines of v. Callahan- death does not remove citizenship, and that includes foreign nationals. 2009 had some poor German national who got kidnapped, had his blood used for painting a portrait and took it over. The Thule Party over there demanded (and in court, got) the portrait and what was left of the poor man's spirit returned as repatriating a national.

It's got a lot of precedent behind it, regardless of the political screaming on both sides about "anchor zombies".

>>21497137
You're lucky. Being new to something's always the best part. It's like being a child again.

Weeeeeeee, I'm on the internet.

>>21496910

The Samaritan Law does apply, IF you bring her immediately to the authorities. Which is a good thing. Rough-and-ready bindings like that tend to be flawed, but that's well within the domain of medical thaumaturgy to handle.

Bring her to the nearest hospital emergency room or spiritual sanctum and let the professionals get to work. You'll need to remain for some time- both as the "creator" and the person who caused the accident, your assistance is both a civil duty and compelled by law.

If it's an honest accident and she was knowing and willing to be in the area while you worked, it's a federal second-degree felony at worst, most likely "malicious wounding" if the woman you reformed into a mechanical body is uncompelled and willing to reduce the charge.

File: 1352445217248.jpg-(209 KB, 500x685, lich.jpg)

Life is over-rated and death ain't pretty, sister, but you gotta stick to your own people, you know? You think you got problems? I've got rictus so bad when I wake up that when I move it sounds like a pile of gravel being ground up in a pestle. Then later my fucking eyeballs kept falling out. Huge pain in my asshole. But hear this; muddle through it, you're in a new place, and you may as well make as many friends as you can while you're in this state. Mind the bathrobe. You really, really don't want to see whats under it.

...unless you ~like~ that sort of thing, sugar tits?

>yes, I am hitting on you. And why shouldn't I? Look at yourself in a mirror.

>>21497106

It will probably end up with them being forced to take term limits. It's pretty much what happened when FDR became the first Revived American president close to the end of WWII and ended up serving one last term. We could have had him as president up until his second death in 1978, if people kept voting for him.

>>21497304

This is the second creepiest thing I have ever read.

On a completely unrelated note, is there something I can do to stop myself rotting and looking like- well- this creepy-ass fucker here? I'd like to avoid losing functionality for as long as possible.

>>21497303
Good to hear, I'll go do that right away. Thank you for your assistance. If all goes well I'll type about it later.

>>21497386
Inject yourself with preservatives kid, you'll last longer. I've got pretty good functionality in the parts that I still have. Enough veins to circulate a few shots of heroin a day and enough organs to drink shit tons of johnny walker. I need it for my pain.

Whats the first creepiest thing you've read, I'm just DYING to know.

>>21497106

The amusing thing here is that considering the potential, it's automatic that Justice Roberts is going to be denied on account of the matter would require his recusion, alive or dead.

What we expect at the DOK is that since officially, "death" did occur, Justice Roberts is no longer considered the Chief Justice- but as the reanimated are legally allowed to take up the position as long as competency allows.

What's considered quite likely is that Mr. Roberts will be re-nominated to the Court, as the Democrats believe it's a banner case for equal rights for the Revived, and the Republicans are unlikely to contest a man who was in life quite conservative and a Bush appointee. It was a tragic loss to the judiciary to see him pass away from that sudden heart attack, and we already have two clerks of the court who have actually been in the position since the 1930's and 1820's, respectively- and are regarded as the go-to spirits when you need research done. Typical Revived people tend to suffer slow loss of function, but Roberts? I've seen Egyptian Osirians cry tears of joy at how well they did with him, one quoted it as "the hand of Isis must have blessed his return".

>>21497486
>Osirians
Those guys are just creepy. Especially considering that some of them have been around for a couple thousand years. Admittedly, those that have were sleeping for the vast majority of that time in one of the most dead-friendly environments, and they can't really move much without serious damage...

That reminds me, have they managed to get those Popsicle mammoths moving yet? Haven't been keeping track of that.

>>21497542
I heard that a russian scientist had figured out a way to simulate revival magic with some sort of complex tesla device, but what do I know, I'm just a creepy old junkie. Nevermind that I knew aleister crowley as a personal friend in previous life.

>>21495589
Check your eternal life privilige, corpse!

You fuckers think you have it bad? Try being "a breather" in Slovakia!

>>21497849
Ooh. That's where they had the Institute for Applied Thanatology, right? Just before the disaster?

Damn, that sucks. Still stuck in quarantine?

Frankly, the entire matter is just.. troubling. And a bit horrible.

When you see the error in these ways your salvation can begin.

>>21498066
Ever had a visit from a dead relative? How about a whole bunch of them at once? You keep fucking around I'll put something on you so your dead relatives all come to the holiday meals expecting to eat human flesh.

Protipsky, brosky dosky; you're silly if you think I'm kidding.

Well. Your only chance now is to get robot parts and make yourself into a cyborg.

Getting money is the hard part, I suppose you could whore yourself out for a while, it's not like you will be keeping the fleshy bits.

>>21498213
Only a little bit more to go.

I do feel dirty, but once I'm fully cyborg, I don't think I'll have that problem.

>>21498213
Hey that sounds like a great idea.

>>21498247
You get over the dirty feeling eventually. I did, anyway. Thats the thing with life. Its dirty, smelly, and it happens. Death is much the same.

>>21498133
The ones I love who have gone on before are safe in Her arms. The very idea that you would be eager to parade a crude puppet just shows what kind of darkness begins to infect those who break the most sacred rules.

I don't hate you, friend. I just wish that stained souls and corrupted flesh could rest as they were meant to. No one want to go back to the bad old days.

My Great-grannie's diary commented on how hard it was to clean her armor after time spent helping the unquiet dead become more.. err. restful. Well, she noted that it took a very long time but I suppose it is also fair to blame great-grandpop as well. Some things can't be unread.

>>21496272
Oh you too?

>>21498322
Hey buddy, I didn't break your rules. I came back as a revenant and had the shitty luck of being unable to find my killer before they died of natural causes. 1 catch 22 later and I find out that I can never leave. Ever. Sucks don't it?

Does anyone on here know anything about the laws regarding Undeath in the UK?

See, I was, much like our OP, resurrected after an unfortunate accident, although mine was less "Hit by a car" and more "Stabbed during a mugging".

Think the guy who did this to me was trying to help, and it's definitely appreciated, I just don't want to end up being put in a camp somewhere.

>>21497120

Christ, tell me about this. When the emergency reanimators revived me at a train accident, none checked my corpse for post-revival viability. Apparently, they missed my head being severed from my body internally, so I passed over my body and jumped to closest viable instead.

Originally I was a 22 year old black man. Now, from what I can gather from her pre-death family and the wallet she was carrying, I'm a Japanese woman in her late forties. Adding to that, I'm currently tied up in court since the body's original family want me burned due to holy rites for the dead and the company who was in charge of revivals on the scene is getting sued by all sides. Shit sucks man.

>>21498607
Here's a Hint, tHe UK was tHe first to use emegenCy reanimators.

keyboard is aCting up

>>21498661
Okay, that's a relief.

Is there anything I should know about workplace undeath law? I've been using up the Sick Days I've managed to horde over the last few years, but I really do not want to turn up only to get fired for being, well, a corpse.

>>21498661

Aye, that sounds all nice until you remember the NHS had no fucking clue what they were doing and were severely underfunded. I've got to wear fucking head support braces, because otherwise my snapped neck tilts my head back and all I can see it the ceiling.

And I'm one of the lucky ones. Some of them, fucking hell. They deserved every penny they got in the lawsuits. Thing is, a whole shower of bastards came out with their own "problems" afterwards, starting bleeding the NHS funds dry. I got phoned by hearse-chasing lawyers three different times offering me thousands in "compensation". One stiff I knew got £5000 for losing her left hand. As if breathers don't lose their hands all the time...

>>21498736

Law states that as long as you're "fit for work and professionally competent", then you can't be fired for being a stiff. Of course, there's a few loopholes for those that want rid of you. Salesfolk being fired because no-one wants a stiff in their shops (except certain alternative stores). There's no undead chefs because of hygiene legislation. Depends on your job really.

>>21497304
>Not dressing up with mage-flesh and over the counter illusions

Very medieval of you, bonebag. When'd they dig your carcass up?

>>21498752
Lucky them. I was hit by a drunk driver in a truck after I was reanimated, completely pasting my body and leaving me as a severed head. I haven't had a cent of compensation despite pending lawsuits. Apparently I'm not 'significantly disabled' enough.

I might just have to get a body donor and live with the debt that'll cost me.

>>21498771
The hygiene argument's got fewer brain cells behind it than I have left inside my head.

They did tests. A properly reanimated worker is actually cleaner than a breather doing the same job. We don't rot, we don't cough into the soup, and we don't lose bits if the spell's been cast anywhere near right.

But no, because we don't have guilds to lobby for us like the Lunar special interests do...

>>21498800
Hey tats our word.

>>21498818
Deal with it, meatbag. Unless you want to know what mummy rot feels like delivered by e-mail curse?

>>21498831
Jerky tinks 'e's tuff. Well do it Feyfolk.

Just remembered past life. Woke up with four broken bones and concussion to go with it. No idea what body personality was thinking, except that it wasn't much.

To hell with this incarnation, it obviously didn't get the brains. And I hate blonde hair.

>>21498771
Hmm... I was a director of sales, which means that whilst I'm not in direct contact with the public, this could still be a problem for me.

I'll go look over the contracts, see if there's anything in there I can use to secure myself.

Honestly, I'm not too worried. Don't look TOO dead, and I am good at my job. Doubled sales of our product to Tesco's over the last fiscal year, so...

>>21496731
Humanity First will protect our families and our most hallowed traditions from them.

>>21498900
I know a guy who can find a guy who can do blood binding if you want to go that route with your boss. Not quite sure how that works with your...condition, but every little helps, right?

Just need a small finder's fee. Won't say a word.

>>21498900

Oh, office work, that's different. Stiffs don't require sleep. Some workplaces appreciate someone who's just as alert at 4AM as they are at 1PM. The biggest change is you won't be able to shag the receptionist at the office Xmas party this year. Well, unless she's a necrophile.

>>21498984
It's not that hard. Just put on a nice suit, if you're a skellie make sure you get one tailored for your boney proportions, there's a lot of specialty tailors for that, head to the local goth scene or whatever similar thing you have in town.

Though you still might have to get around the lack of the dick thing if you lost yours. That can be trouble.

>>21499155
Still got my package. Honestly, I still look pretty Human, just... well, pallid as hell and slightly... waxy, maybe? I look like I'm ill, more than I look like I'm dead. With the exception of a sewn up side.

Stabbings hurt.

>>21496840

Fucking pyromancers man.
I work in the Emergency reanimation and Medical Necromancy ward at a hospital in Australia.
Every week we have some stupid shit Pyromancer running in with some charred remains and a soul gem bitching about their incinerated buddy.

Do you even realise the potential for Psychological damage from burning death? couple that with post fatality trauma and soul decay from the shitty job you normally pull off with emergency soul transfer and you've got some poor bastard soul thats got more crazy than sane trapped in there.
They go from an eternity in the afterlife to an eternity of padded rooms and medication.

>>21499258
I think your problem isn't pyromancers, but idiots. Granted pyromancers are some of the worst of the lot due to the volatile nature of their magic, but I've seen dumbfuck druids, cryomancers, mechanics, healers, transmuters, all sorts of people fuck up in a fit of idiocy and bring chaos to their surrounding area.

Do you have any fucking idea how annoying it is when every week some new 12 year old raises their dead pet and now the dog is fucking insane?

Working in Law Enforcement sucks.

>>21499258

Sorry though i'm sure this is a hard time for you, I just came off a 12 hour shift cus some idiot crashed a school bus into a Pyromancy lab and incinerated 30 children.

Not the Pyromancers fault, all precautions were taken, I have no freaking idea how this guy managed to get the damn bus there, but I had to pull off emergency re-animations for 30+ kids. it was brutal man, Lucky they got torched by promethium so it was over quickly, but it's still hard having to explain that to a child so many times.

My boss the head surgeon is a Re-forged and he seems to get along just fine, they're actually starting to become very socially accepted here in Australia after those storms, it's not rare to see a few re-forged drinking and having a laugh at the local pubs alongside us breathers and a few Re-animated.

The singer at my favourite pub is a re-animated and shit she's got a great voice, and a smokin hot body, I wanna ask her out this week but my parents are very old fashioned so i'm not sure how they'll take it.

>>21499384

shit dude I feel ya there, Had a buunch of cops bring in some Transmuters fuck up the other day for our dispelling ward, they had 20 officers trying to hold the thing down and it used to be a fucking kitten.

Don't think the dispell ward could handle it in the end, he'd lumped so many spells on top of each other trying to fix it they didn't even know where to begin.

>>21499447
People need to learn that when you fuck up you stop casting, pick up the phone, call the authorities, and don't try to fix everything yourself.

>>21498607
I have 3 words for you buddy Vitalists First Party, if you even think one of those skinhead skinbags is near you just run the fuck away. Took me months to regrow everything after they jumped me on the way home from work.

If you're curious, vamp here, I work in a kosher butcher with an honest to god golem. Not much of a talker but you can feel the history radiating off him.

Also fellow fangfags how much poon have you managed to score since twilight came out? Shit 1 can of body glitter and I can swim in pussy. No period jokes please.

>>21498607
I have 3 words for you buddy Vitalists First Party, if you even think one of those skinhead skinbags is near you just run the fuck away. Took me months to regrow everything after they jumped me on the way home from work.

If you're curious, vamp here, I work in a kosher butcher with an honest to god golem. Not much of a talker but you can feel the history radiating off him.

Also fellow fangfags how much poon have you managed to score since twilight came out? Shit 1 can of body glitter and I can swim in pussy. No period jokes please.

>>21498785

Is your lawyer trying to sue under bodily injury laws? Or property destruction laws? And someone's trying mumbo-jumbo (and I don't mean a vodoun) in your legal case. 95% body loss is a serious case of "loss of function", legally you're in the same range of disability as a quadriplegic only with better chances for recourse. Full-body grafts are expensive stuff and tend to have mismatching problems due to spiritual incompatibility.

Insurance companies can be that way. Just remember, you've got more time than they do and keep grinding away through the courts. If the driver had liability, you're covered.

>>21499519

This. It is far, far easier to create some wild mistake of para-nature than it is what you wanted. The whole Gozer Incident should be a graphic (if fluffy and cute) example of just what can happen when a spell is cast without tight parameters- short of divine entities, even your average thaumaturgical genius can't create something that doesn't require extra energy put into the system to keep it from falling apart in some form. Spengler-Stantz lays it out pretty straightforward in that regard- eventually, every thing dies (again) unless you have just the right arcane input. It's why a lot of re-animated eventually just lose mental functions or simply fade out into walking corpses.When the proper "fuel" involves the living hair of your immediate descendants or other truly exotic components, decay eventually is inevitable.

I like to think of it as nature's way of preventing all of us from eternity. Reanimation just gives you a second chance to come to grips with what's Afterwards.

In that sense, it's like watching a loved one with Alzheimer's, which we now understand to have a spiritual component along with the physiological changes. The body simply becomes gradually incompatible with hosting a spirit.

>>21499598

Mind you, para-nature does end up with some remarkable stable systems. But that's evolution for you- when your "fuel" to maintain the system is blood, it's a readily sustainable "species" of the reanimated.

Also, I'd be careful about using the word "God" when referring to anything around said golem. The wrong intonation and you can end up literally rewriting the poor thing's phylactery on a short-term basis, causing him to go "mad", by golem standards. There's a reason you don't speak the Name in Jewish magic without the utmost care.

At the least, you'll give him the Reforged equivalent of a migraine if you screw it up, and who wants to be the co-worker who does that to a friend?

>>21501534
You didn't hear about the guy in Belfast, did you? He wanted to, planned it out, and did. It's a good thing someone recognized the signs and managed to draw the runes to stop the golem he did it to before anyone was seriously hurt.

I hear he's going to be hanged now.

>>21497386
Like I said, see a proffesional. You know those massive pressure-cookers they use for treating lumber? A houngan down here in New Orleans converted one to infuse embalmin fluid and preservatives, maximum saturation within the body. Combined with a rot-ward, like the one inthe really pricey industrial refridgerators, tattooed in invisible ink onto your body, you should be fresh and intact for at least a century or two. Just remember not to strain yourself too much. Your body doesn't heal or improve anymore, so don't risk excercising it. You've gotta start thinking like a nerd: the body you've got is as good as it'll get, improving your mind is the only thing that'll ever get better.

At least you could get reanimated, OP. Around here, the whole thing is totally illegal. Seriously, people go around re-killing anybody that gets woken up again. I think they're afraid that the State can't threaten anybody with being tortured to death or executed when they're already dead; they're a threat to the system.

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>>21501508
>Spengler

Whoa whoa whoa, Ghostbusters HAPPENED?

I don't dabble in the dead-always preferred postpunk and electronic music to metal-but that's news to me.

Incidentally, guy-without-a-body, what does 'donor body' entail? Some ex-con's corpse, or a specially made golem?

>>21509517
Well, not golem. I'm told the non-Jewish ones are called 'Forged these days. Started out as a DAMPA project called the Warforged, but you know how that went.

>>21509517
"Ghostbusters" was a really, really shitty documentary of Spengler's earlier work; heavily fictionalized and sensationalized, however. Sort of like Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, except not as offensively vitalist.

>>21510136
Go on. What was the real Spengler's early work like?

Did the ECTO-1 exist?

DEATH IS INEVITABLE!
WHY WORRY ABOUT THE PUNY LIFE FATES WHEN DEATH IS WHAT AWAITS YOU!

DEATH IS THE ONLY TRUE FAITH THAT HAS PROVEN TO WORK BECAUSE NO MATTER WHAT DEATH HAPPENS!

Think you have it bad? Try being a semi-corporeal undead. It's got all the annoyances of being a ghost with none of the phase through walls goodness. I still need to eat, but oh wait, I have iron cutlery and I forgot I was ghost and put salt on my food. I can't leave my home without assistance because the door handle is made of iron.

This sucks. Is there a pill you can take to get rid of the stupid iron weakness? I can deal with the salt, but not being able to touch iron without dispersing in today's society is a crippling disability.

Anyone else notice how messed up stuff gets when anyone attempts to do necromancy in Canada? I swear I hear something about some odd variation of undead coming out of there every few weeks.

Although now that I think about it, it is magic in general there.

>>21510350
If it's that bad, I'm sure you could get your door handle replaced.

Incidentally, how corporeal are you, exactly? If you can't move through walls and you can still touch things, have you considered simply wearing a suit or gloves or something?

Also, is it only iron that hurts, or do iron alloys have trouble as well? Do you have issues with steel? In most places, things are built out of plastic and aluminum far more than cold iron. Are you living in an area which has a history of Fey proximity? You might not have so many problems most other places.

>>21510510
The closer you get to one of the Poles, the stranger magic gets. It's partly because of the aurorae, and the other energetic effects you get with the magnetifc field, the Earth's spin, and solar and extratelluric currents. Disrupts the local field, not to mention the effects associated magically with being right next to the poles of the Earth's spin and its magnetic field.

Plus, the day-night cycle gets all fucked near the poles, and the extreme nature of life up near the poles is pretty alien compared to stuff on the equator; that tends to result in natural rhythms that are totally odd to us closer to the Equator.

Also, there's just some weird stuff near the North and South poles in general. There've been some pretty major magics worked by native peoples in the past few thousand years over there, and they were huge enough to seriously affect the background magical weave, even this long after. Some people will even tell you of Old One artifacts in Antarctica, but we both know that's bunk.

Basically, shit gets weird near both poles, magically.

>>21510523
It's about 60%. If I push, I can move a few inches into a solid object. This makes putting gloves on a tad difficult, as my fingertips generally go through the gloves when I pull them on.

Iron alloys burn a bit, but don't cause a full dispersion. You make an interesting point though, why the hell is there so much pure iron around here?

>>21510609 Ah, thanks. One thing about that is still bugging me, however, why the popularity of necromancy up there? I mean, with magic being so unstable the re the possibility of something going FUBAR is colossal.

>>21510650
Probably there was a scare, or even an actual incursion, of Fey or similar magical threats. Are you on the East Coast? There's a lot of places like that over in New England, especially in the vicinity of Arkham and Miskatonic.

>>21510738
Ignore the green text.

>>21510743
Ah, that would make sense, looking into it, there was a big fey incursion 20 years or so ago, and everyone bought iron *everything*. Cutlery, doorknobs, everything.

Sucks I guess.

>>21510743
Remember that huge fey incursion in eastern Canada? Near the cairns the Norse and Irish built a few thousand years ago?

Er, forgive me. I forget sometimes that not everyone has memories of those incidents. Anyway, point I'm making is that there WERE pretty serious fey incursions in North America, thus the presence of cold iron constructions even centuries after the fey threat ebbed.

Interestingly enough, the rural hobgoblins still living in the Canadian shield area have numerous sorceries and weapons designed specifically for fighting fey, suggesting to me that another incursion may not be far off.

>>21496131
>7,000 undead with nothing better to do being forced to troll /v/
It explains so much.

G'Day /tg/

Any deadbros from down under here?

Dem breathers, mates, dem breathers. Game with a bunch of them who think they're SO SENSITIVE for not mentioning Geist around me. I play the fishiest fishmalk that ever fished in our Masquerade game and they dont say shit to me.

Even better, I got the redhead with big tits jumping on my zombie cock every tuesday because I'm SO TORTURED BEING AN UNDEAD MONSTER NO ONE WILL EVER UNDERSTAND ME haahahahahahahahaha

oh man, I never had so much fun when I was alive.

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Kids these days, what with their rock music and their "auto-mobiles."

Guys, I actually need some undead for a project I've been meaning to set up. Y'all don't need food, sleep or drink right?

Well how about you join me, those of you that can still speak that is, as telemarketers, you can call all around the world. Non stop for 24 hours. Every sale you clear will net you an hour of 'off-time'.

If anyone's interested email is in the link.

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>>21511341

And then there's this breather...

Telemarketers? Really? Fuck you AND the living steed you rode in on.

>>21511363

What.. dude why do you have to be so offensive man. Like are you racist against the living or something, I'm trying to offer you a job. Y'know something to do, except for walking around town and scaring people with your eye-ball poppan antics.

>>21511404

Fucking telemarketers? Are you serious you sloppy lump of vitafeces? And for no pay?

GTFO. Never return.

>>21511475

Hey I never said I'd not pay, you work on commission, you make a sale, you can an X amount of money and an hour off. So make enough sales and you might get a day off. Win Win right, right?

>>21511404
Andthentheresthistroll.cast

>>21511501

Hey, I get money to NOT show up at parties and, say, pick my buttworms at the table. You should see the breathers turn green when I pic a juicy one!

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>>21499598
>Also fellow fangfags how much poon have you managed to score since twilight came out? Shit 1 can of body glitter and I can swim in pussy. No period jokes please.
She kicked me me out after screaming bloody murder.
Seems like not everyone appreciates sleeping with someone whose body is a few degrees below room temperature, and Vampiric Charm is just a little bit too rape-y for my tastes.

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>>21511729
>dat frog.

Pretty sure there is a book that is exactly this but the dead guy is a well guy.

Complete with the "obligatory against the undead", things being called vitalist and the problems with the law.

>>21511831

>a book
>a single book
>not every scroll, scry-cast, and tome released on the undead in the last decade

And I thought MY eyeballs were the ones that had shriveled up and fallen out of their sockets.

>>21496272
>So he put my (male) brain into a fresh female body (to which he had done all kind of shit to make her perfect, I'd rather not dwell on it.
You've got forever to tell the story, and you've got to spill the details sooner or later.

>>21511831
A well guy?

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>>21495514

This is truly a state's rights issue. In Delacroix vs. The State of Louisiana the treatment of so-called "free willed sterile necrotics" are able to be produced as long as a living will establishes the desire of the decedent to be restored in a necromantic capacity.

Unwilling participants in necromantic restoration would be filed under the undocumented decedent laws, and the corpus vitae is protected through the precedents of common law from tampering.

If you can establish a previous statement of desire to be necromantically restored through identifiable video, audio, or written means you would have a case under Flint MI vs. The Spectre formerly known as Angus Whitmore.

For further legal advice please check with local Occult Aid groups. You may be referred through the State Bar under petition.