>>21449675
A large meal and a warm flagon of mead.
We haven't eaten since that box of cereal like four days ago.
We need food.

>>21449675

>>21449718
I''l agree with the Local Commisar (Nice hat, BTW). Although my drink suggestion would have to be Mulled Wine if you're going hot. Spices, a little water, and might help the hang over.

>>21449675
Can we drink just a little bit of the slime girl? Please? And yeah, Commissar has the right idea, liquid breakfast.

Rolled 4

>>21449675
Some sort of delicious biscuit.

>>21449839
STOP ROLLING, YOU NEARLY GOT US KILLED LAST NIGHT.

Rolled 6

>>21449853
It was only half me, there was another guy rolling as well.

Don't worry though, we're eating the dinner, a one can only result in good things.

File: 1352165739088.jpg-(49 KB, 400x329, 1351466954695.jpg)

>>21449868
>Devoured by a bowl of soup
At least our death would be delicious.

>>21449868
No, rolling a 1 can only result in Fun. Like breakfast eating us.

>>21449823
You... want the Hobo to drink what could effectively be acid? You want to drink acid down our booze hole? ARE YOU INSANE? THE BOOZE GOES THERE!

I wouldn't be adverse to pouring one of the bottles into a bucket 1/4 full of ale and see if it results in non-lethal miniature slime girl. It'd be like one of those little figurine's the Commissar has on his map, except more slime girly. Maybe.

>>21449892
Pretty sure we've taken acid before. I wanna taste purple

>>21449892
THEY'RE ACTION FIGURES! I mean....

>>21449917
They accurately display friendly and enemy forces and disposition thereof?

Don't worry - I do Gunpla. I was just saying: Miniature Slime Girl. Not Loli. Just... miniature. Like Paper-weight or Snow globe sized.

Humn... Slime girl snow globe... Might be on to something there....

>>21449971
But, you couldn't have hot slime lovins if the SG was in a snow globe.

>>21450000
That's why the bottom would be labeled 'Break in case of Emergency Sexytimes'.

>>21450017
I like your thinking good sir! Assuming the military fuckers let us keep a monstergirl.

>>21450031
If they argue, claim it's a souvenir? Humn... gonna have to make sure the 'water' is actually Vodka, though. These medieval guys might not have the proper distilling tech for that kind of thing.

YET.

>>21450084
actually, first we gotta find out if they have potatoes or not. can't make vodka without potato.

>Just reminded I haven't eaten anything all day
>Makin' lasagna

>>21449839
>>21449868
>Oh, I can tell I'm going to get LOTS of vore scenes out of you.

That drinking competition was brutal, even for you. It pains you to admit, but you're going to have to deviate from your liquid diet for once.

Time to order up a massive meal and a whole flagon of warmed alcohol for breakfest. You eat here for free now, after all.

"Mmmmppphlgghlpphllmmmph."


.........It appears that your lips are still numb from last night. Fuck.

You try again. "Mmmmmmffplhfood. Mmggpglltthhhgggdrinkffplh." Close enough.

"Ahhhhh, yeah. That should probably been the first thing you do. You were out for two days, after all. Here, I've got just the thing for ya: my spiced wine! Best in town. And some chicken and potatoes with carrots to go with it!" The bartender plunks a plate and a steaming flagon down in front of you.

You proceed to tear into them voraciously.

-10 MINUTES LATER-

"......so that performance wasn't a fluke, eh?"

You sigh contentedly, staring at the 5 cleared plates and 15 empty flagons in front of you. Muuuuuuuch better.

"Haha, good sir, you jest. Mine is a constitution that shall never falter, never be defeated, NEVER LOSE! Well, until my liver gives out, but yeah, until then: NEVER LOSE!" The bartender breaks into a smile as he shakes his head, running off to serve the other customers.

They're all still sneaking peaks at you. Clearly the news of your victory has traveled fast. A few more feats like this and you'll be living la----

.........wait. Did he just say you were out for TWO FUCKING DAYS!?!??!?!?!?

>What do?

[ ] [Flip table, panic]

[ ] [Ask bartender what you missed]

[ ] [immediately run out to search for stuff, friends]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

I go to make lasagna and by the time I come back, you've invented the concept of slimegirl snowglobes. I love you guys.

>>21450125
[ ] find out what we missed
[ ] imbibe liquor
>>21450145
We aim to please.

Rolled 7

>>21450125
>[ ] [Ask bartender what you missed]
If that Oni took us to bed, I want to know.

File: 1352167089324.png-(372 KB, 830x1200, 1342433399126.png)

>>21450145
[X] Imbibe Liquor.
[X] [Ask bartender what you missed]

>>21450160
Mostly, we aim to please ourselves, though. That The Hobo King finds it amusing is a bonus.

>>21450214
dawww, she looks so adorable in there. If only she wouldn't melt our face off if we take her out.

Rolled 14

>>21450214
Where do you find these pictures....

>>21450416
Internet.

>>21450416
Internet. Specifically: /tg/.

My /tg/ folder had WH40k, Elfslavechanwhatdo, Robochicks, dystopian futures, and all sorts of whatever else. It be huge.

File: 1352168424155.png-(44 KB, 376x485, why god.png)

>>21450416
Finding them the first time was the easy part.

>>21450166
>>21450160
>>21450214

>Flattery will get you everything, /tg/
>and by "everything"
>I mean "vore-fuelled HUEHUEHUE"

[X] [liquor-fuelled Q&A with bartender]

"BARTENDER!" You yell, shooting your fist into the air. He jumps from the suddenness of your report. "A FLAGON OF YOUR FINEST MEAD! I HAVE QUESTIONS!" He nods, quickly sticking a flagon under a spigot.

Two fucking days!?!? What happened in that time? Where's your stuff? Your bro? The red oni chick? WHERE'S YOUR BATGIRL, DAMMIT!?!?!?

The bartender sets the flagon in front of you, which you immediately swig down down to calm yourself. Letting out a blech, you return your attention to the bartender.

"So, barkeep. Two fucking days!? I was out that long? What the hell happened in that time?"

The bartender scratches his head, thinking for a moment.

"Well, after you won the competition, you went out right then and there. We thought you were dead for a few minutes until that other guy you were with managed to thwack your chest and get your heart started again."

......You owe Fritz the best booze money can buy.

"After that, you seemed to be alright, so we threw you in a room upstairs for you to sleep it off. Didn't expect it to take two days, mind you, but considering you drank down a red oni, I s'pose you're pretty lucky. Gave a room to the batgirl you were hauling around, too, and stuffed your weird metal cart in the back for safekeeping."

You nod along, breathing a sigh of relief. At least your stuff and Moira are safe. As for Fritz, you're sure you can take care of himself.

"So, what happened after that? Where'd everyone go?"

"Well, the batgirl literally flew outta here yesterday, screaming about being "late with a delivery" or something. She did manage to say something about a post office or something, and to tell you about it when you woke up. As for that companion of yours, he left after making sure you were alright, as he said he had to go to the castle for something. Also told me to tell you that if when you woke up, to use this thing to get in touch with him. Don't know how it's supposed to help, though; weird lookin' thing." He hands you something wrapped in cloth. You unwrap it to find a radio transceiver. Good one, Fritz.

"Don't worry about it, I know how to use it." You pocket the radio. "What about that red oni chick? What happened to her?"

The bartender chuckles. "Oh, Zuli? She woke up the next morning, and flew down those stairs in some kind of rage, I tell you what. Asked me what the hell had happened. When I told her she had lost, fair and square, I don't think I've ever seen her face look more priceless. Heheh. Just stood there for at least two whole minutes. Then she went red---I mean, redder than she usually is---and muttered, 'I'll be back.' Then she just walked out. Haven't seen her since."

You giggle a little bit. Your rather proud of yourself for outdrinking a red oni, even if it probably aged your liver 10 years. You feel a bit guilty though; she was awfully proud of yourself.

"Eehhhhh, well, those are the breaks. At least she didn't try to kill me in my sleep or something."

The bartender snorts. "Don't be countin' yer blessings yet, kid. I imagine she'll hear you're not dead soon enough. Your story's been making the gossip rounds of town ever since you fought it out."

"Ahahahaha. Well, I guess I'll deal with it when the time co---"

WHABLAM

The doors the tavern are flung open, slamming against the walls. A tall figure stands in the door frame, breathing heavily. Her figure is made even taller by the horns protruding from the top of her head.

Oh, SHIT.

Zuli's eyes lock directly onto you, narrowing. Ohhhhh, crap. Crapcrapcrap.

GodDAMN, she looks scary.

>What do?

[ ] [prostrate and beg for mercy]

[ ] [attempt to escape through a window]

[ ] [take her rage head-on; you won, after all]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

Rolled 8

>>21450660
>[ ] [take her rage head-on; you won, after all]
>
>[ ] [imbibe liquor]
These two

>>21450660
Only thing we know how to do.
[ ] Imbibe liquor
[ ] take her rage head on
Use our lockpicking skills for good, not for evil

File: 1352169445621.jpg-(Spoiler Image, 106 KB, 855x1166)

>>21450660
[X] [imbibe liquor]
[X] [take her rage head-on; you won, after all]

'Sup? We were just talking about you. You owe me a buyer contact for bottled slime girl."

>>21450711
[X] Imbibe her rage with liquor...head-on
"I own you...NOW"

Rolled 14

>>21450660
>[ ] [imbibe liquor]
Offer her a drink!

>>21450892
This. Show our lack of fucks, though don't be a bastard about it.

>>21450681
>>21450711
>>21450707
>no cowards here

You immediately force yourself to crush the urge to MASTER LOCKPICK your way through the nearest window. That would be both expensive and potentially pointless, as Zuli looks wound up enough to just Hulk-Smash her way through the wall after you.

And if you can't run, you fight. With snark. Shitloads and shitloads of snark.

"Why, HELLO there, Zuli!" You call over, casually motioning to the bartender behind you for two more drinks. "I was wondering how you were doing. Hangover wasn't too bad, was it?" WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO PISS HER OFF MORE GODDAMN IT MOUTH FUCK

The side of Zuli's mouth twitches at your comment. The floorboards rattle as she stomps her way across them, until she's standing directly in front of you. She appears to be trembling. Presumably in rage. This may have been a bad idea.

"In all...my life." She says shakily. "I have NEVER lost a drinking competition."

"I mourn for the loss of your perfect record." You say, taking a sip from your flagon. WHY DO YOU KEEP PROVOKING HER

"I lost. I fucking lost. To you. Not another oni. YOU."

"Yeeeeeeep. Wanna talk about it?" You take the second flagon and offer it to her.

>>21450914
It's like she's gonna propose son

>>21450914
LISTEN TO YOURSELF MAN

WHAT ARE YOU DOING STOP BEING A CRAZY HOBO FOR LIKE FIVE FUCKING MINUTES

>>21450961
Red oni waifu?

>>21450961
Or eat you. Again.

Rolled 15

>>21450914
To be fair, we've probably had more practice.

So, are we trying to die, and die laughing?
I'll roll with it.
PUNS

Rolled 20

Whoops.

I'm okay with this "being friendly" thing

File: 1352170954633.jpg-(Spoiler Image, 232 KB, 945x1181)

>>21451013
Or access to stronger spirits. Distillation, and all.

>>21450961
If she looks like >>21450711 , Then Maybe.

If she looks like this image? Then RUN.

Unless she always looks like this. Then Maybe again. Depends on Der Hobo King.

Rolled 3

inb4 "And how does that make you feel?"

File: 1352171101147.jpg-(116 KB, 890x900, 1351231885129.jpg)

>>21450711
>Khornette
>>21451070
>Fire elemental
Do you niggas even oni?

>>21451093
oh

oh my

Rolled 1

>>21451093
but isn't that Dimitri's art?

File: 1352171222878.jpg-(9 KB, 247x200, 1342183855053.jpg)

>>21451093

>>21451115
HATE YOU. ALL OF MY HATE.

>>21451115
now look what you've done

File: 1352171305326.jpg-(77 KB, 600x800, 1342434384078.jpg)

>>21451093
Nope.
I do now, though.

HA HA! You have fallen for my clever trap, and given me images! What say you now, Knave?

File: 1352171311981.png-(73 KB, 235x279, 1342184305395.png)

>>21451115

>>21451093
He drunk man. the nigga's drunk

She stares down at the flagon for a moment before wrenching it out of your hand. She downs the contents, and then proceeds to send shard of pottery flying everywhere as she crushes the flagon in one squeeze of her fist.

......you hear the sound of what you presume to be the bartender hiding behind the counter.

Zuli grabs you by the collar and drags you off your seat, snarling as she pulls you upright. Her fist rears back as she prepares to haymaker your face inside out.

You sigh and close your eyes. Well, this is it. You suppose there are worse ways to go. At least she's not going to vore you like that slimegirl would have.

Which is why your eyes fly open in shock when she slams her lips against yours.

You immediately try to find the words to describe what kissing a red oni feels like. Her mouth is way hotter than any human, but not burningly slow. You know how a good hot jacuzzi feels when you get into it? It's that kind of heat. You have to admit, it's rather pleasant.

She forces her tongue into your mouth, and not wanting to be rude, you respond to the challenge. Your lips press together and you fight for dominance, but with passion instead of booze this time. She's rather good at this, but you have some tricks yourself. She whimpers a bit as you stroke your tongue down yours.

And then as suddenly as you began, she throws you backwards onto the floor. "GAAHH!" You yell, as you assplant the floorboards.

"AAAAAAAAUUUUUGH!" Zuli yells, pulling at her hair as she screams towards the ceiling. What the fuck is going on.

"GOD! I hate your guts, so why do I find you SO HOT!?!?"

.................what.

>What do?

[ ] ["Well, I certainly like your reaction so far."]

[ ] ["......and how doesh thish make you feeeeeeel?"]

[ ] [grope boobs]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

>>21451157
Critical error:
Activate all choices
Imbibe liquor twice

File: 1352171469346.jpg-(56 KB, 383x666, oni.jpg)

Rolled 10

>>21451157
Take her to our room. Say we can try some of our 'special' liqour from far away lands.

File: 1352171474412.gif-(1.25 MB, 213x120, 1343165326366.gif)

>>21451157
>[x] ["......and how doesh thish make you feeeeeeel?"]
>
>[x] [grope boobs]
>
>[x] [imbibe liquor]

>>21451157
>[ ] [imbibe liquor]
>[ ] [grope boobs]
>[ ] ["......and how doesh thish make you feeeeeeel?"]
>[ ] [imbibe liquor]
>[ ] [imbibe liquor]
In that order.

>>21451157
[x] [grope boobs]
[x] [imbibe liquor]

IF ONLY I HAD TWO MORE HANDS SO I COULD HOLD THREE DRINKS WHILE I GROPED A BOOB

We'll have to move to /d/ soon

>>21451157
>>21451157
>>21451157
>>21451157
>>21451157
>>21451157
>>21451157
>>21451157
I TOLD YOU SONS

[X] Imbibe MORE liquor

>>21451177
[X] All The Choices. Ever.

>>21451221
I thought she was moving in with us...
>/tgd/ Traditional games, not so traditional porn.

File: 1352171918425.png-(248 KB, 448x598, Red Oni.png)

More like, imagine this, but with no club, and wearing medieval style fancy men's clothes, except they're all unbuttoned and wrinkled and half-on and the like. And her boobs are nearly ripping her undershirt in half.

Oh, and she's mad as shit.

Rolled 18

[X] [siiiip.jpg]
[X] [staaaaaare]
[X] ["...Und how dahz zis mehk you fheeeeel?"]
[X] [imbibe more liquor]

>>21451284
god

damn

>>21451284
ooh, we are so fucked. In the good and bad way.

>>21451284

Angry sex is best sex

>>21451341
>implying there is a bad way

File: 1352172351395.jpg-(8 KB, 184x184, 1343114585483.jpg)

>>21451360

Running down the the corner to force-feed my friend a crepe so she actually eats.

Back in a few minutes.

>>21451408
oh yeah
that's what i'm talking about

>>21451503
...force feeding fetish?

File: 1352173106260.jpg-(10 KB, 251x226, 1342265067645.jpg)

>>21451518

File: 1352173397417.jpg-(Spoiler Image, 209 KB, 807x565)

I knew the Lincoln and Oni chick at the bar scene reminded me of something....

Writing up the next part now

>>21451564
>>21451518
>>21451503
>Ooooohhhh yeeeeeeaaaaah

>>21451638

I saw those red chicks a few times before
what's their name?

Sorry, not a 40k fan

You stare at her for a good five seconds.

"Sllllllllllrrrrrp." Your sip echos around the tavern. You continue to stare, while Zuli regards you with a look of both suspicion and frustration.

Getting to your feet, you calmly walk forward towards the overwrought red oni girl. She takes a step back, growling at your approach, but otherwise continues to glare you down. She almost looks afraid of you, at this point.

You smile at her disarmingly, as you stop in front of her. Her eyes fill with confusion, though she still looks ready to punch/kiss you again. You place one hand reassuringly on her shoulder.....

.....and the other on one of her impressive tits, which you immediately squeeze a few times. Damn, they've got a nice feel.

"...Und how dahz zis mehk you fheeeeel?" You drag out, being as completely obnoxious as you possibly can.

Ahhhhhhh, there we go. Her eyes look MUCH better when they're just about pure rage.

THWAM

You fly across the tavern, plowing 6 chairs and a table out of your way before you hit the wall, the patrons scampering out of your flight path. With a loud prolonged squeak, you slide down the wall, coming to rest on your head, with your ass still up in the air.

"You FUCKING PRICK! This is just a GAME to you, isn't it!?" She spits out, very nearly breathing fire instead of words.

You don't speak. Instead, you stretch your arm upwards weakly, grasping, until......

"SLLLLRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP." You drink from the one the flagons left by a fleeing patron on a nearby table. Zuli proceeds to lose her shit even further.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! How can one man be SO OBNOXIOUS!?" She screams, pulling at her hair as if to tear it out. "What the FUCK is your PROBLEM!?"

.......You think she's probably at full rage capacity at this point.

>What do?

[ ] [Sucker-punch her with suave compliment line]

[ ] [Continue taunting her to fill up her RAGE METER! Or something]

[ ] [flee the tavern in a ridiculous manner]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

>>21451972
Imbibe booze.
I think we're part Dwarf or something.

>>21451972

[Other]

Suggest if a good friendly fight (beating) would help her feel better

>>21451972
[x] [Sucker-punch her with suave compliment line]

damage control fuck fuck shit

File: 1352175045126.jpg-(353 KB, 924x1022, 1323733237676.jpg)

>>21451858
I don't properly know myself, really. "Demonette /Daemonette" is what I've seen bantered about in the threads I steal images from. I've also gathered, from said threats, that Khornette's (red ones) and Techezentte's (Blue ones) are kind of a /tg/ creation. I just save them because they're cute / sexy / cool.

>>21451972
[X] [imbibe liquor]
[X] [Sucker-punch her with the suavest of the suave compliment line]

But, since I am not suave, I leave saidf line to you.

File: 1352175173113.jpg-(27 KB, 391x506, 1342186574180.jpg)

>>21451972
Imbibe liquor and taunt

>>21452019
>[Sucker-punch her with suave compliment line]

We could mix those

>>21452029
Tzeentchettes?
The Nurglettes are kind of cute, though I wouldn't hug one.

Rolled 9

>>21451972
>[ ] [imbibe liquor]
Let her work it out.

Rolled 14

>>21452068
and for the classiest of lines: "I'm not obnoxious, I'm drunk."

>>21452056
NO
SUDDENLY GET VERY SERIOUS AND STOMP UP TO HER AND PISS YOURSELF WHILE YELLING "I AM THE YELLOW ONI".

Rolled 16

>[X] "'Problem', my dear? Only one? Let me reiterate: within a day of my arrival, I proceeded to knock myself unconscious outdrinking an oni. Would you like your list in alphabetical or chronological order?"
We got so drunk it swung back round and became lucid.

>>21452176
and it only took three hundred and thirty seven drinks in one sitting

Rolled 5

>>21452213
We need an adventuring moniker. I'm going to suggest "The Iron Bladder."

>>21452005
>>21452019
>>21452023
>>21452029
>>21452056
>>21452057
>>21452067
>>21452068
>>21452240
>>21452213
>>21452176
>>21452147
>>21452112
>Spilled beer laughing
>Now eating beer-soaked Smarties


Your face involuntarily forms into a weird grin. Ah. So THIS is what making a trollface feels like.

"'Problem', my dear? Only one? Let me reiterate: within a day of my arrival, I proceeded to knock myself unconscious for two days outdrinking an oni. Would you like your list in alphabetical or chronological order?"

She glares at you, grinding her teeth. You're fucking CRAZY, YOU KNOW THAT!??!? I"m talking SERIOUS issues!"

You smirk at her from the ground. "I'm not crazy, not obnoxious. I'm drunk. Surely a fellow booze lover such as yourself can tell."

She quits pulling on her hair to return to attempting to bore holes through you with her eyes. "MOST drunks, when meeting me, proceed to either stay the fuck away or pass out within the first TEN drinks. NOT MOLEST MY TITS IN AN ATTEMPT TO GET PUNCHED!"

Aaaaaaand it's time to spring the trap.

"Hey, I did that for a reason. For example, with a punch like that, I have been able to confirm that that amazing make-out bit with you was, happily, not a dream."

"Wha--you---Gaahh---What the HELL are you going on about!?"

Oooooooh, nice recovery with her anger there. But she stumbled, you can tell. The light blush on her face is a dead giveaway.

You take another ridiculously long slurp from your borrowed flagon.

"And I wouldn't regret touching those tits in a million years. The men stay away from you? Morons. I mean, have they even looked at those beautiful orbs properly?" You make sure to say this to her boobs, not her face.

'S-S-STOP TALKING ABOUT THEM LIKE IT'S SOME KIND OF ART EXHIBIT! Do you WANT me to cave your head in!?!?!?" She involuntarily crosses her arms in front of her, trying to block your stare. The blush is now readily apparent. She's putting up a good fight, but her anger can't possibly win against your Hobo Logic.

This is way too much fun.

>What do?

[ ] [Go in for the verbal kill]

[ ] [flip the table at her to aid in your escape]

[ ] [make another run for her boobs]

[ ] [Shit yourself and to establish dominance]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

>>21452461
>[x] [Go in for the verbal kill]
>[x] [imbibe liquor]

>>21452461
>[ ] [Go in for the verbal kill]
>[ ] [make another run for her boobs]
>[ ] [imbibe liquor]

>>21449675
>[ ] [Go in for the verbal kill]
>[ ] [make another run for her boobs]
>[ ] [imbibe liquor]

>>21452461

Verbal finishing move

Linguistic fatality

>>21452620
and then grab her tits!

[X] kiss her in her forehead then taunt her :COME! SHOW ME WHAT PASSES FOR FURY AMONG YOUR MISBEGOTTEN KIND

Rolled 15

>>21452664
Seconding this.

In bed.

>>21452489
>>21452507
>>21452537
>>21452620
>>21452664
>>21452637

Shame it'll be over soon. Oh well. She's the one who decided to challenge you; it would be insulting not to hit her with the full force of your Hobo Charm.

You drop your smirk to look as serious as you can manage. "I won't stop staring. Actually, I can't. Think of it this way: If there was a flawless diamond in the middle of a table, would YOU look at the scratch-up wood instead?"

Zuli opens her mouth to rage at you again, but no sound comes out. She closes it just as quickly once your words sink in, going completely red in the face as she clenches her teeth in frustration.

".......I am going to beat you now. I don't know when I'll stop." She looks at the floor as she says this to you, though.

You grin as you clamber up from the ground. "Go ahead, if that's what you need. I didn't expect your rage to be quelled with words anyway." You swagger up to her, while she still refuses to meet your gaze. She contents herself with attempting to light the floor on fire with her eyes instead.

"Don't worry about it, I'm used to it. Whatever makes you feel better. I HAVE been the one teasing you after all."

"So you admit it." She mutters in an accusatory tone, finally staring back at your face.

"Gladly." You snicker. You then press your lips to her forehead before she can react, though she flares red again almost immediately.

"WHA-YOU-YOU JUST---WHAT ARE YOU--" She yells, both angry and panicked.

"COME! SHOW ME WHAT PASSES FOR FURY AMONG YOUR MISBEGOTTEN KIND!" You boom at her cheerfully. You then initiate the coup de grace, pulling her head to your chest as you place your lips to her ear.

"In bed." You whisper.

.............

Her eyes tinge red and you see a blur as her fist flies towards your face.

>>21453006

One week later...

>>21453075
They are still fucking.

>>21453006
We will enjoy this beating.

Rolled 10

>>21453075
We're a hobo, I'm sure we've taken worse hits.

>>21453090
From an angry, sexy, goddess of war? Not likely. Will we regret this action? Not a fucking chance.
[ ] imbibe liquor
[ ] drunken fist

Rolled 17

>>21453121
I choose 'Yes'.

>>21453006
[ ] try to kiss her as much as possible
[ ] imbibe liquor

>>21453121

LICK HER FIST

>>21453238

In a safe way, of course... we don't want to lose our tongue

-5 MINUTES LATER-

Well, that's over. You'd like to say it wasn't as bad as you thought, but you can't really check if you still have all your limbs with your head lodged in this wall.

You leverage yourself against the building with your hands and feet, pulling until your head pops free with a loud crunching noise.

Zuli is sitting on a chair, one of the few that didn't get destroyed as she punched you around the tavern like a fleshy pinball. She's breathing heavily, and has her head in her hands.

"Feel better?" You ask.

".............. a bit."

You laugh, feeling relieved at the pain resistance you've built up through years of drowning your nerves in alcohol. "Well, at least you got it out of your system on me. Somebody else might have died."

"I swear to god, you must be made of rubber." She grumbles, glaring at you through her fingers. You simply snigger. You're never going to get tired at making her angry.

".........did you mean what you said?"

"Eh?" Don't tell me she has hurt feelings or something.

"That cheesy diamond line. Did you actually mean it?"

"Nope." Her eyes immediately shift to rage again, and she moves to get up to resume the beating.

"Diamonds are an ugly thing to compare to yourself, after all."

Aaaaaaand she's back down again. Wow. For a living embodiment of rage, she sure is weak to cheesy lines.

"........shut up. Ass." She mumbles, hiding her face again.

"NEVER." You declare proudly, pouring yourself another drink. The bartender was knocked unconscious when Zuli sent you pinwheeling behind the countertop at one point. You swig the drink heartily.

"........Slimegirl."

"WHERE?" You perk up, immediately interested. She glares at you again, obviously annoyed. She really likes glaring, it seems.

"I was talking about the slimegirl you have bottled. I promised to introduce you to someone who'd be interested in it, right?"

Oh yeah. You had completely forgotten about that. "Well, yes, that would be great. She's been stuck in there for two days now, after all."

Zuli gets up from her chair, wiping the dust and errant splinters off her clothes as she does. "I'll show you to it right now, then. That bartender's not going to be up for a while, anyhow." She pauses for a moment, giving you another icy glare, before extending her hand towards yours.

"Zuli."

You stare at her hand, almost dumbstruck.

"My name. And I'd like to at least know the name of the person who beat me, even if he is a raving lunatic."

You break into a smile, finally returning the handshake. "Lincoln." You then pull her hand up to your face, laying a kiss upon it. You even lick it a little, just for good measure. She responds by punching you in the face again.

"Don't get carried away, dumbass." She grumbles, wiping her hand on her pants as she looks away with a slight bit of crimson on her red cheeks. "Let's just go, alright?"

>What do?

[ ] [Follow Zuli to the slimegirl contact]

[ ] [find the post office to ask about Moira]

[ ] [contact Fritz over the radio to figure out what's going on]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

Rolled 8

>>21453297
>[ ] [Follow Zuli to the slimegirl contact]

>[ ] [contact Fritz over the radio to figure out what's going on]

But don't forget about the batgirl, we can look for her later though.

>>21453297
>[ ] [imbibe liquor]
>[ [ ["Okay, but you're coming with me." As you finger-gun towards your room.]

>>21453346
I think [ ] imbibe liquor is the default action at this point. Also, WE SMASHED THE BAR, IS THE BOOZE INTACT?

>>21453377
You smashed the bar, not the barrels of booze, which are kept behind the bar. You don't I'd destroy booze unless someone rolled a 1, did you?

>>21453432
No, thank the distiller. We rolled a 17.

Rolled 16

>>21453432
I'm hoping I did not.

Does a 20 mean we found the barkeep's secret stash of good stuff?

>>21453468
Haha, no. That takes a nat 30. Or buying off the barkeep

>>21453468
All SORTS of good things happen when you roll a nat 20! I just almost never see them. Lots of 1s, though, oh yes.

Rolled 19

>>21453502
Yeah, I don't get the 20 rolls, only the 1's.

Like, I'm going to guess that this will be a 1, and I've no idea how a barrel of beer is going to eat us, but I'm sure it will.

Rolled 15

>>21453518
WEll, you were one away from Oni sexy fun times. With a barrel

Rolled 18

>>21453559
Aww man. Every time.

Taking a break for now, guys. I'm exhausted as hell from running the last thread, and I at least need a nap. I'll resume once I wake up.

File: 1352192019127.jpg-(38 KB, 305x480, 1350685455054.jpg)

Bumping to keep thread alive.

Rolled 1

>>21455053
I think he's gone.

>>21455359
He just took a power-nap that turned into a nap that turned into a siesta.

Thread seems to be archived now, so it's all good.

>>21455359
I HEEEEAAAARD THAAAAAAAAT

>>21457583
He is back. Yay.

>>21457624
I apologize. The alarm I set did not go off, or if it did, I slept right through it.

Shall I continue, or cut it off now and start a new thread tonight?

>>21457666
continue.

>>21457666
Continue, my good man.

File: 1352219010768.jpg-(26 KB, 500x477, 1339974947191.jpg)

>>21457666
We remain, and can heed the call of HUEHUEHUEHUEHUE.

(Continue. Please. Should you feel up to it.)

>>21457705
>>21457751
>I suppose I could be persuaded

"Sure, that'll work. Just lemme grab my shopping cart first." You pick your way through the massive piles of debris to the storeroom door.

Inside, you find your shopping cart, just as you left it (sans one batgirl, sadly). You also find that bottled feral slimegirl apparently glows in the dark. Maybe you'll keep on or two of the bottles after you figure out what to do with them as a light source.

Or emergency beverages. The tingly feeling of acid can't be TOO different from the tingly feeling of liquor.

While you're in here, you should probably contact Fritz. You really don't want to have to explain to Zuli how a radio works. Because you can't.

You pull the radio from your pocket, and immediately begin fiddling with the dials and buttons in the hope of getting it to work. "Lincoln to Fritz, come in Fritz."

It only takes a few seconds for the radio to crackle to life.

"Lincoln? Holy crap, you're not dead!" Fritz's voice is spit out of the speaker, sounding rather incredulous.

"Really? You think ME of all people could succumb to alcohol poisioning? You wound me, dear friend."

"After seeing you down three hundred and thirty seven drinks in one sitting, I'm just going to assume from now on that you're a reality-warping alcohol demon. Anyway, what's your sitrep?"

"Still in the tavern. That red oni chick showed up again, mad as hell, but I managed to placate her, by which I mean 'not die.' She said she'd introduce me to someone who can do something about our overabundance of slime girl."

"I wouldn't call it an overabundance....." You here him mutter. You bite your tongue to keep from laughing. "But I suppose there's time for that. Johnson was ready to murder you after I told him about your.....endevour.....but you apparently went a long way towards "winning hearts and minds" in this village. After the rumors about your victory started spreading, people were a lot more willing to talk with us. Johnson still wasn't happy, but said we 'had to make the best of the situation', which is his way of grudgingly accepting some good came out of it."

"Where are you guys now, then?"

"Still in the castle. We haven't left yet because this "diplomacy" crap takes forever, and it turns out that this ISN'T just some rich old geezer who likes to pay people to put on an elaborate medieval play-life. He's a genuine noble, and it looks like this sort of feudalism is common in.....wherever the hell this place is. I can tell the politicians are going to have a field day trying to figure how to exploit this."

You snort derisively. That would be just like THE MAN; always wanting to get his grubby hands on whatever he doesn't have.

......Eh. You'll just have to grab as many monstergirls as you can before they outlaw polygamy.

"Anyway, just come to the castle when you're done with the crazy demon chick. Don't take too long though, as I'm going to have to tell Johnson you're awake, and he's liable to come drag you back himself if you keep him waiting."

"Roger, roger. Lincoln out." You call, as you switch off the radio. Or you think you switch off the radio. This thing has too many buttons. You shrug, and stuff it back in your pocket regardless.

You wheel your cart to the door of the storeroom, only to find----

"Errrr." Perhaps you should have gotten the cart outside BEFORE you decided to put a bunch of holes in the tavern.

Zuli looks over, noticing your dilemma. She snorts derisively. "Moron." She crosses the distance between you two in a few quick strides. Threading her hand between the steel mesh of the cart, she hefts the entire thing into the air by one arm. Spinning around, she carries it over to the door and sets it down with a loud clatter next to the door.

........You are increasingly thankful for the numbing effects of alcohol this day.

Stepping your way through the debris once again, you follow Zuli to the door, and step outside into the village streets.

'Hissssssssssssssss! Light bad!" You recoil at the sunlight. Why couldn't you have slept until nighttime? Goddamnit all.

Zuli ignores your apparent discomfort, instead setting off down the street at a quick clip. Thanks to the wide berth she's given, you're able to quickly rattle your shopping cart after her.

After about a 15 minute walk/game of "catch the angry Zuli", she comes to a halt in front of a house, crossing her arms as she stares at it. You have to dig in your heels to stop from hitting her, so abrupt is her stop.

......Well, "shack" is probably more appropriate. The thing has more holes in it than a Charybdis (heh), and you're pretty sure wood isn't supposed to be bent that way.

.......This is so extremely sketchy. Zuli is totally going to cut out your organs and sell them. Wait, do they even know how to do that in the middle ages? Fuuuuuuuck, you don't know.

>What do?

[ ] [boldly stride into the shack of terror]

[ ] [ask Zuli about her organ selling plans]

[ ] [slap Zuli on the ass, then ask her about her organ selling plans]

[ ] [ask to visit the post office first]

[ ] [make excuse, and go to the castle]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

>>21458167
[x] [imbibe liquor]
If only because I'm going downstairs to get my own.

>>21458167
[X] [imbibe liquor]
[X] [boldly stride into the shack of terror]

By making sure Zuli goes first.

>>21458188
>>21458213

Grabbing one of the full flagons you managed to "borrow" from the shopping cart's safety seat, you take a deep swig to steel yourself.

HA! "Shack of terror", INDEED! You are not afraid of some namby-pamby building that can only look scary and not back it up! Let the shack TREMBLE BEFORE YOUR MIGHTY HOBO POWER!

You continue to strike dramatic poses until Zuli, figuring out that you aren't going to move anytime soon, grabs you by the neck and shoves you into the cart, which she then proceeds to punt directly through the door.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGH!!" CRASH

It's okay, though. Your speedy entrance was cushioned by these bookshelves. The books were even kind enough to lovingly embrace you. En masse. They smell weird, too. Or maybe that's just you.

"Gnnnnnghgghhff..." You attempt to say through a mouthful of books. Spitting a spine out your mouth, you drag yourself free from the massive pile of books that now half bury your shopping cart. At least your body was able to shield the slimegirl bottles from breaking; you don't think that would be a very advantageous position to flee from.

Zuli trots in, shaking her head in apparent distaste at your undignified exit from the book stampede. She then looks around, searching for something. You cock your head at her quizzically, though maybe it's just brain damage from book trauma that's making you do that.

"Minerva, where the hell are you? I KNOW you're around here somewhere; you never leave this house, after all."

You jump as a voice comes from the book pile.

"Under here, dear!", the books shudder as a few bubbles drift out from the pile. Whoever this, she sure sounds awful cheerful for being buried under an avalanche of---

.................wait.

Bubbles?

BUBBLES!?

HOLY SHIT.

>What do?

[ ] [do not overreact, it could be a trap]

[ ] [begin excavation immediately, there are monstergirls to be had]

[ ] [ask Zuli what the flying bibliofuck is going on]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

>>21458533
[X] [begin excavation immediately, there are monstergirls to be had]
Do this with the fury of a thousand hobos digging through a dumpster

>>21458595
without wrecking the books of course.

File: 1352223457905.jpg-(256 KB, 948x1161, 1347224589297.jpg)

>>21458533
[X] [begin excavation immediately, there are monstergirls to be had]

I am curious. What kind of monster girl bubbles? And doesn't leave her house? Hermit crab girl? Slime Queen?

Quick, Hobo! Use your Hobo Powers of [Scrounge] to find said curio! Pip pip!

>>21458595
>>21458599
>>21458634

MONSTERGIRL IMMINENT. ALL HANDS ON DECK.

Lincoln used [Psychotic Scrounging]!

Books immediately begin to fly everywhere as you tunnel your way down to the bubbly goodness, praying that your guess is correct.

THWACK THWACK THWACK THWACK SPLAT

Your hand withdraws from this digging stroke with a loud squelching noise. Bubbles begin to float out of the hole your hand leaves in the cavernous pile.

PAYDIRT.

You clear away the books, coming face to face with a bemused smile. She flows up out of the books, brushing away errant ones that are threatening to be sucked in. "Oh my, you're a new face. and who might you be?" She says, in one of the most honey-coated voices you've ever heard.

It's.

IT'S.

IIIIIIT'S.


"IIIIIIT'S A BUUUUUBLE SLIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!!!!!!" You shout joyously to the ceiling, thrusting your hands directly through both of her boobs.

File: 1352224707616.png-(312 KB, 900x600, 00Bubble 126062-UBH69ZB.png)

For those not in the know. Ignore all things about personality, though; I pick my own. And details are subject to change as I see fit.

But yeah, fuckin' bubble slime. I never see these.

File: 1352225307787.jpg-(268 KB, 450x600, 29175879_m.jpg)

>>21458836
Very, very Interesting.

The Bubble slime continues to smile at you, apparently completely unaffected by your impromptu molestation attempts.

Zuli's reaction, however, is not so generous.

"What THE FUCK! Can you not keep your hands to yourself for FIVE FUCKING MINUTES, LINCOLN!?" She roars, dislodging you from the bubbly goodness and reintegrating you into the world of pain as she flings you into the ceiling. Thanks to the bubble girl residue, you hang their by your hands for a moment before you come crashing back down.

"What, It's not enough to just grope me? You have to go and try to molest Minerva too!?"

You think you hear something interesting through your daze. "What was that?" You ask.

"Hmmmmph. Nothing. You just suck." Why the hell is she blushing again? Fuckin' moody oni girl.

"My, Zuli. Whatever's the matter? I'm not exactly sure what it is you're mad at him for."

Zuli huffs. "Minerva, because you stay inside this house ALL THE TIME, you know exactly jack shit about men's intentions. Or ANYONE'S intentions. When was the last time you even SAW a human!?"

"Well, I see them all the time through the window---"

"THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEAN AND YOU KNOW IT, YOU DITZ!" Zuli flies into a rage once again. She really needs to drink more, sheesh. You'd tell her this, but you like your organs where they are at the moment.

Though, it doesn't sit well with you to let two monstergirls fight. Well, at least not this kind of fight. But still.

You should probably do something to defuse the situation.

>What do?

[ ] [Do a song and dance routine to introduce yourself]

[ ] [grab for delicious red oni ass, squeeze with reckless abandon]

[ ] [look through books for info about world while hoping fight devolves into monstergirl slime wrestling]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

[x] [imbibe liquor]
[x] [Do a song and dance routine to introduce yourself]
[x] [grab for delicious red oni ass, squeeze with reckless abandon]
[x] [imbibe liquor]

>>21458950
>[X] [imbibe liquor]
>[X] [look through books for info about world while hoping fight devolves into monstergirl slime wrestling]
And when it does, at the most opportune moment, launch yourself into the fray and:
>[X] [grab for delicious red oni ass, squeeze with reckless abandon]

>>21458950
>[X ] [Do a song and dance routine to introduce yourself]
>[X ] [imbibe liquor]

>>21459003
>>21459011
>>21459168


You'd like to take a drink, but you're not exactly eager to get in between those two right now. Not in this way, at least.

But you sense an opportunity here.

You side step the verbal argument cautiously, taking care not to turn Zuli's ire onto you. You then begin to extract your cart from the book pile, taking care not to make much noise.

You notice a book as you're digging. "Kings and Monsters: A History of the Glorian Continent and Its Role in History". Well, THAT sounds useful. Opening the book, you are dismayed to find words, instead of graphic depictions of monstergirls. You throw it into the cart for later reading. At some point. Maybe.

You then grab another of your flagons and drain it dry. Your reasoning is that the worse your coordination, the better you'll be at this. Makes perfect sense.

"HeeeeeeLLLLOOOOOOoooOOOooooo......" you warble from the top of the book pile.

Both Zuli and Minerva stop and stare at you with dumbstruck invitations. Probably shocked by the top hat and cane you magicked out of your vast hobo pack. You'd be jealous too.

"IIIIIIIIIIIIIt's very nice to meet you, and I can tell no lies, the scariest that's in this room is Zuli's fiery eyes!"

You take a flying leap off the books, landing on the ground where you execute a pirouette.

"Ask away my dearie, I'll put you in the know, if Zuli doesn't murder me your boobs I'd love to know!" You tap dance over to a nearby table, leaping on top of it with a flourish. You proceed to kickflip it onto it's side, balancing on top of it as it rolls towards the girls. You launch into the final verse.

"This song has been a pleasure, I put divas to shame, I'm going to grab your asses now 'cause LIN. COLN. IS. MY. NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!!!!!" You hold the final note as you jump off the table in between the girls, letting the piece of furniture crash into the far wall. You throw your arms into the air in celebration of the completion of your song.

.....And then bring them down behind each of the girls, grabbing a handful of ass just like you promised. You squeeze, and sigh contentedly. Plump oni ass in one hand, and the sticky caress of bubble girl ass in the other. Bliss.


...........................

The door of the house blows off the hinges as you rocket out of the house, courtesy of Zuli's infernal wrath.

"Worth it." You croak, as you lay in a disheveled heap halfway across the street.

The floorboards of the house's porch rattle as Zuli stomps out of the doorway. The rage is radiating off her in waves.

"EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. DO YOU THINK ABOUT NOTHING ELSE!?!?" She fumes.

Minerva peeks out of the doorframe, seemingly cautious about venturing beyond it.

"Now, now, Zuli. I can't see any harm done. And his song was such a good effort, after all! I've never seen an introduction like that before."

You may want to do something to not get stomped into paste.

>What do?

[ ] [attempt to drink the bubble girl]

[ ] [continue giving Zuli rage-gasms]

[ ] [remind them about the feral slimegirl]

[ ] [make a break for the liqor]

[ ] [other]

File: 1352228357196.gif-(1.65 MB, 200x150, this guy.gif)

>mfw Lincoln Bismuth

>>21459394
Remind them of the Feral Slimegirl.
Ask if we can imbibe feral slimegirls as well.

File: 1352228605238.jpg-(76 KB, 884x972, 1235760363998.jpg)

>>21459394
>[X] [attempt to drink the bubble girl]
>[X] [Attempt to Claim Your Species as Non Homo Erectus Maximus Swaggius Quipicus]
And...
>[X] [remind them about the feral slimegirl]

>>21459394

Continue giving Zuli rage-gasms

Then remind them of the feral slimegirl

Hang on, eatin' french bread pizza

[x] [continue giving Zuli rage-gasms]
[x] [remind them about the feral slimegirl]

>>21459527
>>21459480
>>21459479

"See? Minerva liked my song and show of friendship, why can't you?" You smile innocently, batting your eyes a few times for good measure.

Zuli's eye twitches. "Why you little---"

"HEYTHATSGREATLETSMOVEON. Hi, Minerva! Like I said, I'm Lincoln. Nice to moles--I MEAN MEET YOU."

Minerva giggles a bit, her hand melting from her side and reforming over her mouth for a moment. "My, it's a pleasure to meet you too! I haven't met a human in a long time; it's nice that you turned out to be so friendly."

"CORRECTION MADAM. I am a different species entirely! I am a Nohomo Eretcus Dickswinglowicus, well known for our prominent swag and snark glands. You can treat me as you would a normal human though.

"Is that so? My, how exotic!" Minerva looks at you with a sense of wonder.

Zuli groans. "Dammit Minerva, do you have to believe everything he says? Your head is full of air sometimes, I swear."

Minerva blinks at this. "But all of me is full of air. Where do think my bubbles come from?"

Zuli doesn't respond, instead contenting herself with smashing her head against one of the porch supports.

You clear your throat as you get up from the ground, dusting yourself off. "Sooooooooo, can we ask her what to do about that feral slimegirl now? And whether or not I can just drink it?"

Minerva perks up at this. "A slimegirl!? A feral one!? Oh my, oh my! Where!?" She looks around excitedly.

"Uhhhhh, it's in my shopping cart. In bottles."

"Oh dear, I bet she's simply suffering in there! We must get her out posthaste! I'm so glad you came to see me about it, dears. Come in, come in!" She retreats from the doorway back inside the house, a few of her bubbles lingering in the air before popping.

"After you." You remark to Zuli, who glares at your smirking visage before sulking back into the house.

Minerva is already at your shopping cart, looking at the bottles and unsuccessfully trying to open one. It seems it's a bit hard to open a bottle when your a slimegirl. You're kind of glad too, as you can't imagine that feral one is very happy with you after being stuck in those bottles for two days.

Minerva turns to you, a bit flustered. "Erm, could one of you two be a dear and open this bottle for me? It's not like any bottle I've ever seen....." Not to self: keep EVERYTHING EVER in those bottles for more bubble slime d'awww moments.

"Erm, do you really think releasing it is a good idea? I mean, for me. Because, y'know, I am technically edible. And she thinks so too. That's why I had to bottle her in the first place."

Minerva smiles at you, shaking her head lightly. "Oh my, don't worry about that. Having been separated this much for so long, without some form of energy to jump start her, it'll be a while before she can reform her consciousness. She'll just be a puddle until then."

You think for a moment. "............so, I could totally drink a bottle?"

Minerva blinks, looking startled. "Wha---I mean, technically, yes, but---I don't really know what would----why would you....?"

"GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!" You shout, grabbing one of the bottles and a half-full flagon. Unscrewing the bottle, you dump the slimegirl part into the remainder of the alcohol and quaff the whole thing in one go. Minerva looks on in bewildered shock, while Zuli just facepalms.

It's.......slimy. It feels like it's clinging to the side of your throat as it slides down. And you can't tell if the tingly sensation is the alcohol or your esophagus starting to dissolve.

[Roll 1d20 to determine outcome of slimegirl ingestion]

Rolled 19

rollin

>>21460512
I did good. no one else roll

File: 1352233394956.jpg-(81 KB, 424x480, 112.jpg)

>>21449675
You almost got me for a moment there, but I realized at the last second that this is actually a thinly veiled and poorly disguised monster girl adventure.

Rolled 17

>>21460465
No, don't eat the slime.girl without her permission, that's wrong!

>>21460581
No, it's a thinly veiled and poorly disguised opportunity for me to write about a hobo screwing up everything. I've only had enough time to screw with a few monstergirls, is all. Give me time.

>>21460748
TOOOOOOOO LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE

Alright guys, I have to run to work. I'll probably be back after 6. Feel free to worry about possible acidic dissolution of your internal organs until then.

bump

I have a feeling that this is going to end with us having a slimecoated liver. Imagine all the booze we could drink.

Rolled 1

>>21463059
But the slime couldn't tolerate the liqour. I don't think it'd work in our favor.

>>21463070
The slime absorbed the liquor. Therefore the booze might remain in our system longer.

>>21463070
People like you are why we almost died last thread.

[spoilers]Also people like me if my rolls say anything[/spoilers]

Rolled 9

>>21463185
What do you mean people like me? That was me. I've rolled over half the 1's so far. You guys need to catch up.

Rolled 5

>>21463185
Right apparently its without the s and dice without a capital. Stupid finicky posting requirements. Also never have I been so gald to have advocated the Oni.

Rolled 6

>>21463211
The problem is more the lack of twenties to accompany them. Seriously what happened last thread?

Also while waiting for our hobbo overlord are there any other obscure monstergirls that you guys think would be a great addition? Though I admit that I think we need to introduce Fritz to Minerva. We own that dude.

It also costs us no booze

>>21463070
>>21463211
>>21463253
>>21463278
Why are you idiots rolling? We had two high rolls already

>>21463278
>>21463253
>>21463211
>>21463185
>>21463106
>>21463070
>>21463059
>>21462840
>>21463466


Your antics and implying that I'm not ALWAYS WATCHING YOU amuse me. I knew I was doing this thread with the right group of people: faceless strangers are the best.

And of course you keep rolling. You can't not roll. You can never stop. NEVER STOP. I CRAVE ONES, THEY ARE DELICIOUS.

I can squeeze out one or two more posts for you guys before I have to run off for a while again, but I have an interesting proposition for you.


You guys come up with a consensus on things you want. Events. Monstergirls. Whatever.

I am then going to run off to play some Humans vs. Zombies game that my campus runs. You then bet these things on whether I get turned or not. If lose, well, maybe I look less favorably on including them or their priority in the plot. You win, and maybe I bump up the time of their introduction or their availability for you to screw with, a la Zuli so far.

While I write the next post, place your bets if you dare.

>>21463466
Any other monster girls you wanna see introduced? Thinking a tetra arms chick would be nice.

>>21464153
I must clarify, you can make personal bets, or as a group. I care not.

Rolled 2

centaur soldier girl. I bet you get turned.

>>21464153
Arm wrestling match with abstence from booze on the line against a species of monster girl with multiple arms who thinks Lincoln drinks to much versus our hero. If Lincoln wins he forever wins their share of the drink.

I bet you'll survive for a while then get bored and distracted and get turned because of it.

Rolled 4

>>21464153
I'll bet all of my 1's that you don't last half an hour.

>>21464153
I'll bet your teammates let you down and you get turned.

I'll wager a gang of foxgirls

Rolled 12, 5, 4, 19, 1, 18, 11, 7, 8, 11 = 96

>>21464423
You're missing all the one's and the rest of our good rolls

>>21463070

Ah, yes. That's burning. Definitely burning.

You begin to scream as you feel the slime begin to burn its way through your body, dropping through a hole in your stomach, scorching past your liver, and coming to rest directly in your abdomen. The pain is excruciating. Dear god why won't it sto----Oh god, what's it doing? What's it doi---OH GOD, IT'S GROWING, YOU CAN FEEL IT, YOU CAN----

You let out a strangled cry as the slime bursts out of your mouth, cutting off your air supply as it flows into your lungs. It flows down your body and across your face, enveloping you as eyes form to stare directly into yours, unblinking. It then reaches your lower half, wrapping around your little hobo like velvet made of acid. You cannot help yourself; you immediately cum, whimpering as she absorbs your semen and immediately begins pumping you for more.

In no time at all, you are completely enveloped, and she has drained you almost completely dry, unable to ejaculate further, and yet your humiliation is not yet complete. She forces herself down the channel of your dick, forcing you to orgasm yet again, even as it dissolves into nothingness. Your last feelings are pleasure as everything fades to dark, and you cease to be.

Minerva stares at the newly formed feral slimegirl, before smiling. "My, I didn't expect you to be that quick about it. But no matter; it's all the same in the end. Now come here, you beautiful thing." She moves to embrace the feral girl, their slimy lips meeting even as their bodies swirl and mix. Minerva lifts her head for a moment, and turns her gaze to Zuli. She's there, staring, backed up against the wall, a look of fear on her face, and yet one of lust as well.

Minerva giggles, coaxing the feral to join her as she slowly slides over to the fiery oni girl.

No reason to leave anyone out, after all.....


>This is what you get when you bet against me
>you're gettin' vored
>YOU'RE gettin' vored
>EVERYONE'S GETTIN' VORED

>>21460512
>>21460748

Well, nothing's happened so far. Wasn't particularly tasty, but nothing bad abou---NOPE, COMIN' BACK UP.

As per your liquor-saving instincts, you attempt to hold back the slimy liquid, clenching your mouth shut. You are summarily surprised when you feel the slime FORCE your mouth open and flow out.

You are even more surprised when you find yourself staring into a pair of eyes a few inches from yours. A pair of tiny, tiny eyes.

What.

"Oh my, that's so adorable!" Minerva squeals, sending bubbles flying everywhere. Zuli just stares, having seeming to be interested enough to not immediately punch you in the face.

You grab at the itch on your nose, and haul it away from your face. It immediately reforms on the back of your hand.

It's a slimegirl.

A tiny, tiny slimegirl.

"WHAT SORCERY IS THIS!?" You scream, as you continuously attempt to get the thing off. You shriek and flail, but all it does is snap back like a goddamn gooey yo-yo.

"It seems it got enough energy from the moisture inside your body to form a tiny consciousness of it's own. This is incredible! I never knew we could do anything like that....." Minerva gushes, staring at the stubbornly attached goodrop that is now hiding up your nasal canal. You immediately attempt a snot rocket to dislodge it, but it catches onto your pants leg and dives up them, 'causing you to immediately squirm like a girl with a bug down her shirt.

"GAAAAAAH! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW!? YOU'RE A GODDAMN SLIME TOO!!!" You holler, as you dance around the room knocking things over. Oh god, she's in your armpit---STOP THAT, IT TICKLES!

She shrugs, letting out a stream of bubbles from both her shoulders. "Well, it's not like people usually go around drinking slimes. You may be the first person ever to do it."

"GEE, DON'T I FEEL SPECIA----HOW IS SHE BITING MY EAR, SHE'S MADE OF SLIME!!!!" You smash your head against the wall in your continuing attempts to be rid of the squishy hanger-on.

This is getting you nowhere, except probably into Zuli's fist again.

>What do?

[ ] [bottle slimegirl]

[ ] [attempt to placate slimegirl somehow]

[ ] [ask Minerva to help get her off you]

[ ] [ask Zuli to help get it off you]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]

Rolled 7

>>21464792
>[ ] [ask Zuli to help get it off you]
>
>[ ] [imbibe liquor]

Get her to pour some drink over it. It worked last time.

Rolled 6

>>21464792
If you don't behave yourself young lady person I'm introducing you to Uncle Jack.
Then drink because seriusly what.

>>21464792
[x] [attempt to placate slimegirl somehow]

Want snowglobe yes please

>>21464792
[X] [attempt to placate slimegirl somehow]
[X] [imbibe liquor]

Booze worked once and it'll work again.

So, all the bets are against me. Noted.

Now I have to run off again to take care of this stuff. If anyone drawfags a slimegirl snowglobe in my absence, or anything from the story actually, you get a monstergirl of your choice.

[X] [imbibe liquor]
[x] [attempt to placate slimegirl somehow]

Wait a second, i bet she is a booze slime. she wants more booze

Rolled 15

>>21464989
If this is true we've created the best monster girl ever.

File: 1352252658180.png-(551 KB, 1367x629, fc6c28fdc74a0546d3c1e4f20(...).png)

>>21464973
Wait betting was still open?
In that case I bet you become the batman and avoid your pursuers.

So how do these campus run games work anyways? Do they just say go for it and open every door?

bump

>>21464792
>[ ] [attempt to placate slimegirl somehow]
>[ ] [imbibe liquor]
And if all else fails
>[ ] [imbibe slimegirl again]
You gotta set boundaries.

>>21466675
I like how the threat against a slime, an acid being is to drink it.
>Implying Lincoln has a hidden for fetish where-in he isn't the one being consumed.

>>21466883
Well we don't have a belt around here, so we gotta make due with what we got and set some boundaries.

Well, I'm back. And I got turned. Not through fault of my playstyle, but in the 11th-hour activation of a sleeper cell in the human ranks. Now I have to give you all shit.

Oh yeah, and President Obama got re-elected while I was out, so there's that.

Lemme get a drink and I can keep writing to distract myself from the craziness.

>>21467050
>sleeper cell

I'll count that as your teammates letting you down and take my payment of foxgirls then.

>>21467090
Yeah, you were closer of all. I've never seen the humans fail so hard in figuring out who the OZ was.

>>21465720
It varies by my campus. My game is completely outdoors, and there are missions every night.

OP you still there?

>>21467618
I am. Pizza came. I apologize. New post going up soon.

"Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeegh." You stifle a scream through your clenched teeth, the tiny slimegirl now nibbling determinedly on your finger. Your Hobo Instincts taking over, you rush to your cart, and grab the last of your flagons. You then promptly dumb the contents over the slimegirl, and your hand.

The tiny things stops biting.

Blinking for a moment, she then deforms and flows around your hand, absorbing all the sweet liquor dripping off your hand.

She then proceeds up your arm, swirls around your neck, and reform on top of your head.

You hear slow, steady breathing.

.....did she just fall asleep on your HEAD?

"What. The. Fuck. Is going on." You state flatly, too confused to even freak out anymore. Minerva, on the other hand, looks like she might explode, she looks so happy.

"Awwwwwwwwwww! She likes you! And alcohol, apparently. Guess you'll be taking care of her from now on!" She giggles.

"...........So let me get this straight. I just birthed a tiny alcoholic slimegirl out of my mouth, and she has now bonded with me."

Minerva nods. "As best I can say, yes."

You open your mouth to object, and then close it again as you ponder this. Finally, you pass your judgement.

"Yeah, I'm actually alright with this."

Zuli cocks an eyebrow. "That was a quick turnaround."

"It helps not to think about it."

Minerva giggles again, something she apparently likes doing. "Well, as long as you take good care of her, I have no objections. What do you want me to do with the rest of these jars then?"

"Keep 'em. I may have gotten lucky and gotten a mini-slimegirl companion the first time, but there's no guarantee I won't melt next time. Besides, I'm sure you'd take care of her better than me." She brightens a bit at that.

"My, That's very kind of you to say, Lincoln. I'll do my best to meet your expectations." She does a strange little curtsy. You think. Slimes don't always make any sense.

"So, are we done here? Have I fulfilled my promise?" Zuli asks, rolling her eyes.

Your smirk returns with a vengeance. "Your promise to help me get rid of the slimegirl bottles? Yes. Your promise to break half the beds in town with me? Not even close."

Ahhhhhh, there's that angry Zuli blush you so love and fear.

"You little son of a---!" She takes a swing at you, but you're already flying out the door, laughing your ass off.

"COME, ONI GIRL! THERE BE ADVENTURE TO FIND!"

Rolled 18

>>21468019
Time to investigate the post office? I'd rather like to see how the whole thing operates.

Aaaaaaand with that, I must bring this ridiculous two-day-spanning thread to an end. How the fuck did it even end up last this long, anyway? And I have no idea how we got from a funny discussion of a slimegirl snowglobe to actually getting the components for one.

To all who bet: because of the strange circumstances surrounding my turning into a zombie, you all technically won. Pat yourself on the bat for getting things out of me.

>>21468050
Will be one of the first choices next time, obviously.

>>21468064
Right-o.

See you next time, hoboking. Be sure to update the twitter, since I lurk that.

>>21468075

Yep, next thread will probably be tomorrow, in all honesty, because I can't seem to keep myself away from this thing.

As always, updates on the @HoboRiftQuest twitter.