File: 1351386169059.jpg-(68 KB, 537x430, oasis springs airborne.jpg)

>>21316367

>STATUS REPORT
-----------------------------------------------
**Ogir Place (+Floating, +Golem Limbs, +Steering Wheel)**
-----------------------------------------------
- Population: 49/50 (-1 missing) (4 mutants) (-3 dead)
- Landmarks: Oasis, Underground Cave/Quarry, Underground [???]s
- Food: Fish(-), Cacti(-ow), Fungi(+); Fair Growth (+6/turn)
- Resources: Sandstone, Iron+Chromite Ores, Featherstone, Aquifer Pebbles
- Diplomacy: Scaratone [Featherstone Carts, Fungi, Paper]

- Key Items: Tomes (Dragon Lore, Illusory Magic I, Necromancy I)
- Arms: Cactus Maces, Crude Iron Armor; Ur-Camouflage
- Vocations: Ogres, Geomancers (5), Berserkers (4), Beastmasters (1)
- Beasts: Naked Mole Ravagers (Untrained)
- Settlement: Reinforced Rock Shanties, Storehouse, Mushroom Farms, Pier, The Anchor, The Staircase

- NPCs: Boss Bawss Fistboss, Geomancer Gubbins, Beastkrumpa Squiggles Irwin
- Tech: Fire, Fish, Agriculture, Mine, Smelt/Forge, Write/Read, Hats, FStone Flight, Airships!
- Magic: Geomancy I [+Ruoumoko]
- ????: I don' get it.
- Justice: Krumpin' Duels / Boss Knows Best
--------------------------------------

(Cont.)

File: 1351386209201.jpg-(150 KB, 850x1346, Guardian of Daphnaia.jpg)

>>21316379
>[X] Maybe there's something we CAN do...
>[X] Ask about various options (tree-hat, food, move the tree to Ogir Place)

Boss Bawss rubs his chin thoughtfully, looking up at the sky. "So... wot you're sayin' is, you got dis big tree settlement in da middle of da desert, and are stuck up shit river without a paddle 'cause dat tree ain't doing so well?"

The female elf soldier grimaces, taking another sharp drag from her cigarette. "... basically? Yes."

"And da other elves from Elfland-"

"The Elven Coalition."

"- yeah, them. They want just 'nuff elves here to keep it outta non-elf hands, but..." Boss Bawss pauses, his mind working overtime to figure its way around all of these stupid elf politics. "... not enough for you guys to do anythin' but eventually die or get krumped. 'Cause they're embarrassed dat they done goofed."

The elf nods again, shifting uncomfortably as she adjusts the position of the rifle against her back.

"... right." Boss Bawss rubs his hands together. "We don't got any mega arch-droods or nothin'," he rumbles, "but I really think we could shit out a coupla miracles right now-"

"No." The female elf's reaction is instantaneous- she scoots about three paces back. "Please don't."

"Relax, elf," Boss Bawss soothes. "I meant dat literally."

There's a moment of horrified silence on the elf's part, her deadpan expression freezing over.

(Cont.)

>>21316391

"Or was it figgeratively? Always get those two mixed up," Boss Bawss mutters, screwing up his face in thought.

"The latter," the elf says quickly, straightening her dark uniform, every inch the graceful elf soldier again. "Please. More importantly..." She tilts her head to the side, her straw-yellow hair falling over one shoulder. "why would you even bother helping us?"

Boss Bawss shrugs. "Why not?"

"... hmmm." The elf doesn't seem to have a good answer to that; instead, she gives the large ogre a strange look, as if truly seeing him for the first time. Her voice retains its usual deadpan tone when she speaks up again. "Anyway. You were saying?"

"Oh! Right, right." Boss Bawss clears his throat and straightens up, putting on his serious face. "See, we can totally protect your tree with a really damn amazing, honest-to-goodness-100%-bonafide-ogre-y thing dat we made."

"Really, now." Despite herself, the elf leans forward, her jaded eyes gaining just the smallest bit of hope. "And that is...?"

"Hats."

The elf sits back down and slouches forward a bit, all hope drained out of her bearing. "I'm sorry I asked."

"But- we make damn good hats... er, wot's your name, again?" Boss Bawss offers, slightly uncertain.

"Celicia. Celicia Silverstone. And I'm sure your hats are nice, AND blocking the worst of the sandstorms' fury would be helpful. But Daphnaia is a tree taller than most human /castles/." Celicia takes another drag from her cigarette before continuing, sparing a glance at Boss Bawss's hat. "And even if you could make a hat that big, there's no way something like that would protect Daphnaia well enough against sandstorms."

(cont.)

>>21316403
Boss Bawss files that away in his mind as 'possibly,' quickly moving onto the next subject. "Then- how 'bout food? Wot're you growin' in dat tree of yours?"

"The usual staples. Grains. Starchy tubers. Leafy vegetables."

"Stuff dat don't normally grow in da desert?"

The elf grimaces again, shaking her head. "... we underestimated how much water Daphnaia can draw out," she grumbles.

Boss Bawss strokes his chin, moving onto the last feasible possibility. "'Kay. So... okay, hear me out. Wot if we took Daphnaia," he begins, taking his hands and placed them on the sides of an imaginary box.

Celicia nods, looking at his hands askance. "Right...?"

"An' we just-" Boss Bawss takes his hands and moves the imaginary box to his other side. "- moved it over to Ogir Place?"

The female elf's eyebrows go so high up that they're almost at her hairline. "..." She puts out her cigarette against the sand and flicks it carelessly away, massaging the bridge of her nose for a long, long moment. Boss thinks he hears her counting backwards, but he can't be sure.

She finally looks up. "... I know you are ogres," Celicia deadpans, "so just in case you didn't notice, the tree is too big to be moved."

"Nah. We can use Ogir Place to move it," Boss Bawss replies easily.

"... no, you don't understand-"

"It's a big flyin' oasis with hands and legs."

(Cont.)

>>21316379
>- Population: 49/50 (-1 missing) (4 mutants) (-3 dead)

Didn't we find the missing guy? Or did we lose another one?

File: 1351386425858.gif-(496 KB, 225x116, wat.gif)

>>21316414

Celicia's mouth opens.

She closes it again. It seems that she's thinking long, hard, and fast, reevaluating the situation and trying to figure out what the hell is happening.

"... before we talk about this any more," the elf says carefully, "I think I need to see this settlement of yours. If that'd be alright. I mean... fuck." Celicia squeezes the bridge of her nose again. "No offense, but me and the other soldiers would like to see what you're actually capable of before we- you know. Commit to anything."

It's Boss Bawss's turn to raise his eyebrows.

[ ] Take Celicia and her squad of elven soldiers on a grand tour of Ogir Place. The more the merrier!
[ ] Take Celicia, and only Celicia, on a grand tour of Ogir Place. Too many elves spoil da soup.
[ ] Fly Ogir Place here. Why take the elves THERE, when we can take the oasis HERE?
[ ] Try to find some other method of proof.
[ ] Obligatory "nope.jpg we're going home" option.
[ ] Write-in!

>>21316418
... ffff YOU'RE RIGHT, I just- had that (-1 missing) there for so much of the quest that I completely forgot to take that into account. My bad!

Rolled 11

>>21316464
>[X] Fly Ogir Place here. Why take the elves THERE, when we can take the oasis HERE?

Hopefully without hitting the tree!

Rolled 85

>>21316494

Ogres. Stop. STOAP!

>>21316464
We also need to talk to the scaratones.

>>21316494
This, but keep it away from the tree. I don't trust us to keep from crashing into the tree.

Rolled 3

[X] Fly Ogir Place here. Why take the elves THERE, when we can take the oasis HERE?

Rolled 100

>>21316464
>[ ] Fly Ogir Place here. Why take the elves THERE, when we can take the oasis HERE?

Clearly the best option here.

Rolled 83

How i love Ogres.

>>21316588
>>21316494
Again? Really?

>>21316617
It's ok, that means we're burning all our luck early, so we can fail miserably when it really matters.

Rolled 99

>>21316637

Considering its Ogres, failing miserably is almost the same as wining.

>contains rderbyd

Certainly it does captcha.

>>21316657

Second fucking time today.

Ogres. STAOP!

>have essmaes

Certainly i am having one captcha.

>>21316494
>>21316539
>>21316588
WE ARE BEST FLIERS!
Honestly I woulnd't be suprised if we pull some Top Gun shit with Ogir Place on the way over.

Try to impress the elves with our ariel maneuvers!

[X] Take Celicia and her squad of elven soldiers on a grand tour of Ogir Place. The more the merrier!

They commin to us. S'how it works, see.

>>21316464
>[X] Fly Ogir Place here!

Boss Bawss frowns. "Naw, it'll take days to walk back to da oasis, an' then days for you guys to walk back /here/, so..." The larger ogre snaps his fingers. "Right. Oi! Beastkrumpa! Gubbins! Get over here!"

The fur-clad beastmaster and the shorter geomancer quickly skedaddle over, the former wolfing down the remnants of his mushrooms. "Yah, boss?"

"Dat big bird of yours, is he big enough to fly both of you guys back to Ogir Place?"

There's no hesitation before Squiggles nods. "Oh, dat bird, it's a real beaut, a'right! Don't you fret, boss, da vulture will get da both of us back!"

"We're goin' back for backup, right?" Gubbins adds all-too eagerly, causing Celicia to start backing away a bit. Boss frowns.

"Nothin' like dat! We're just gonna show 'er and da elves a real good time. 'Cause she wants to see Ogir Place."

Gubbins' eyes light up even further at the thought of more flying. "Hah! Even better, boss! Gonna have a good time-" he chortles, even as Squiggles whistles shrilly once more. "We'll be back, quick as a flash!"

(Cont.)

File: 1351387860533.jpg-(11 KB, 252x269, desert_sun1.jpg)

>>21316807
A few minutes later, Boss and Celicia watch as the giant scavenging bird recedes into the distance, one ogre clutching its neck and the other held in its claws.

Celicia is the first to break the silence. "... right," the female elf mutters skeptically, having procured a new cigarette sometime between then and now. "Anyway, while we're waiting, might as well show you Daphnaia."

Boss blinks in surprise, looking down at the diminutive elf. "Wot? Just like dat?"

"Eh," she replies with a shrug. "Think of it as a gesture of goodwill. Now are we going inside, or not? You and your boys, right?"

Boss Bawss takes a second look at Celicia, noticing for the first time that she seems a little... listless? Tired? Whatever it is, her blonde hair is a little stringy, and there's a sheen to her pale skin-

... oh. OH. Yeah, with that weirdo dark armor and that huge tube strapped to her back, she really isn't doing too well in the sun, huh?

[ ] Go inside Daphnaia, taking the boys with you. FIELD TRIP FIELD TRIP WHOOP WHOOP
[ ] Go inside Daphnaia, taking ALL the boys with you- yes, even those that were camouflaged in case of ambush.
[ ] Nah, the sun's totally healthy out here. We'll wait, you go back inside.
[ ] Write-in!

>>21316637
Are you kidding? This is a Blorp quest.

Rolled 67

>>21316811
>[X] Go inside Daphnaia, taking ALL the boys with you- yes, even those that were camouflaged in case of ambush.

Because Ogres.

>>21316811
>[x] Go inside Daphnaia, taking ALL the boys with you- yes, even those that were camouflaged in case of ambush.

Oh, I want to see her reaction to this.

[X] Go inside Daphnaia, taking ALL the boys with you- yes, even those that were camouflaged in case of ambush.

Can't wait to see her reaction.

Rolled 75

>>21316811
>[X] Go inside Daphnaia, taking ALL the boys with you- yes, even those that were camouflaged in case of ambush.

>>21316811
>[ ] Go inside Daphnaia, taking ALL the boys with you- yes, even those that were camouflaged in case of ambush.

>>21316828
>>21316841
>>21316843
Let's explain what's going to happen before we call the boys. You know, so she doesn't have a heart attack of nothing.

>>21316811
[X] Go inside Daphnaia, taking ALL the boys with you- yes, even those that were camouflaged in case of ambush.

Oh, and pick up the poor girl and let her ride on Bawss's shoulders and borrow our hat for a bit. Maybe offer her a cractus to eat in exchange for one of her cigarettes.

>>21316854
Nope. Ogres, don't got to explain shit.

>>21316811
[ ] Go inside Daphnaia, taking ALL the boys with you- yes, even those that were camouflaged in case of ambush.
and pick the poor girl up before she has heatstroke. say something about she isnt looking to good. maybe next we need to try and get some healing magic under our belts

>>21316862
>>21316882
This is still an elf we're talking about here. Offer, but she'll refuse.

>>21316959
Who said anything about offering?

We tell her that she looks tired and Bawss gently puts her on his shoulder.

>>21316811
>[x] Go inside Daphnaia, taking ALL the boys with you- yes, even those that were camouflaged in case of ambush.

She'll shit a brick.

>>21316811
[x] Go inside Daphnaia, taking the boys with you. FIELD TRIP FIELD TRIP WHOOP WHOOP

>>21317174
this

>>21316811
>[X] Go inside Daphnaia, taking ALL the boys with you- yes, even those that were camouflaged in case of ambush!

"You're sure? All of da boys?" Boss Bawss asks.

Celicia turns to look at the bare handful of ogres standing behind Boss Bawss. Then she turns to give him a /look/. "Yes. Yes, all of the ogres."

"You sure?"

"Very."

Boss Bawss nods, turns towards the empty desert, and gives a shout. "Okay, boys, c'mon out, we're goin' onna FIELD TRIP."

In the blink of an eye, there are suddenly ARMORED OGRES standing where there was none before, all of them stretching their limbs and shaking the sand off of their skin, all of them very loudly looking forward to the field trip (along with the obligatory "BOSS, ARE WE THERE YET?").

At the same time, there's a startled, tiny, and very quickly truncated squeak from somewhere behind Boss Bawss.

(Cont.)

File: 1351389861634.jpg-(36 KB, 246x382, 1350712280690.jpg)

>>21317207
The larger ogre turns around, blinking at Celicia, who stares woodenly forward with a perfectly blank expression on her face and that strange glitter in her eyes that people get when they're rapidly approaching their "I've seen some shit" limit for the day. "Was dat-"

"No," Celicia's reply cuts him off.

"But-"

"Must've been desert mice."

"But dat-"

Celicia tilts her head in his direction, bringing the full force of her blank, deadpan thousand-mile stare. "Fucking," she breathes. "Desert," she intones. "Mice," comes the last word, her tone sharper than the whetstone of the gods.

Boss Bawss scratches his head. "... desert mice."

Celicia nods curtly, turning on her heel and stalking towards the sickly tree looming above them.

Probably not da best time to offer her a hat or a ride, Boss Bawss reflects to himself.

(Cont.)

>>21317217
Boss Bawss wasn't quite sure what to expect when he entered the 'Tower of Decay'- a tree that was hollowed from roots to crown, maybe, or a big ol' nature preserve crammed into every nook and cranny.

He was not expecting a two-story room with apertures set high up the walls, each of them manned by an elf pointing a small metal tube right at the entrance.

The female elf swiftly moves to stand in front of the ogres. "Stand the fuck down." Gone is the coarse-talking, world-weary elf who speaks in a constant deadpan; Celicia's voice, while tired, still carries a note of command. "For the immediate future, they're our guests."

Most of the guns waver. "But-"

"Ogres. Yes. I know." Celicia clasps her hands behind her back. Only Boss Bawss is close enough to see her sway slightly. "But they might be able to help us. Until I decide whether we can afford to take the help they can offer..." She hesitates slightly, before continuing. "They will come to no harm.

"Besides..." Celicia takes a breath. Then, she swivels on one heel, pinning Boss Bawss with an orange-eyed stare. "You mentioned you managed to become friends with the beetle-men of the desert wastes. Who we have been fighting non-stop... almost since we arrived."

Suddenly, there's tension in the air.

[ ] Yeah. And? Wot of it? WE didn't attack you.
[ ] Wait, wot!? There's gotta be some kinda mistake, they wouldn't do dat sorta thing probably!
[ ] Staring contest!
[ ] Write-in.

[x] Wait, wot!? There's gotta be some kinda mistake, they wouldn't do dat sorta thing probably!

Honest mistake!

Rolled 96

>>21317229
"Why youz be fighin'? Did you kill some of der workin' boyz?"

Rolled 67

>>21317229
>[x] Staring contest!

>>21317259
My new name is Lord of the 96.

>>21317229
[ ] Wait, wot!? There's gotta be some kinda mistake, they wouldn't do dat sorta thing probably!
did you krump one of the little white ones? dey relly dont like that. but if you didnt dey wouldnt do dat

>>21317229
Tell them how me made friends with them by punching a bone dragon to death in one shot then gave them the corpse.

Then proceede to trollface.

>>21317290
*we, not me

>>21317229
[X] Didn't you attack them first?

>>21317229
>[x] Wait, wot!? There's gotta be some kinda mistake, they wouldn't do dat sorta thing probably!

Did you krump a squish-bug? Duh otha bugs HATE dat. Dey gets all high and squeaky about it, like da desert mice.

>>21317259
Pretty much this.

>>21317319
Aye. Seconded.

The ogres are dumb, but so far they've proven to be perceptive. In their own so stupid-lucky it's brilliant, way.

>>21317316
>like da desert mice.
I like it, anything that involves trolling/embarassing the elf seems funny in my book.

Probably because she's such a good straight man to play off of.

>>21317259
ok hypothosis time.
1) the bug men went for looting first. so a group of workers and soldiers was the first sent. the elves defended themselves, and killed at least most of the group. including the workers.
2) bugs sent a group of diplomats first. while killing them is not as big a deal as killing workers, it is still a deal.
any other ideas?

Rolled 31

>>21317316

Aye, This.

>>21317409
Probably this. Also, they look like bugs. People tend to have a "if its ugly/scary looking, its evil" mentality.

>>21317414
In light of your terrible roll I vote for >>21317259's suggestion

>>21317259
>"Why youz be fighin'? Did you krump some of der workin' boyz?"
FIFY
But yeah, this sounds like the best course of action.

>>21317484

What is FIFY an acronym of? I keep coming up with a blank.

>>21317506
fixed that for you

Rolled 53

>>21317510
Fixed It for you

Rolled 90

>>21317510
>>21317519

Gotcha.

File: 1351391569169.gif-(2.3 MB, 256x192, Where did it all go so wrong?.gif)

>>21317229
Jesus wept, I knew I forgot about something today

>>21317259
What Derm said.

Also, I think the Elves are going to start taking up serious drinking if we keep pulling this shit on them.
>Pic eventually related

>>21317582
I think eventually they'll get used to it. They'll become jaded to it and become the shoulder sniper elves that we deserve.

>>21317229
One part of Boss Bawss's mind realizes that this could get ugly very quickly, if his boys get any more worked up; another part of his mind is kind of in awe at how the shorter elf standing in front of him doesn't flinch at all, despite the fact that she's standing in front of all these ogres.

Already, the larger ogre's ears catch the shocked- bordering on angry- murmurs behind him. Most of the ogres of Ogir Place have come to enjoy the Scaratones' company, and more than a few remember just how much the Scaratone Queen, Kilkkarak, did for the ogres in that now-legendary trading agreement.

So does Boss Bawss, and that's why his reply is instantaneous. "Oi, dat can't be right, da beetle-men won't do dat sorta thing," he protests. And then he pauses, thinking back to their very first contact. "... well, unless ya krumped one of them squishy white worker beetles. They HATE dat, an' get- you know, all high an' squeaky about it, just like da desert mice."

Boss Bawss watches curiously (and not without some sense of satisfaction) as Celicia's face suddenly flushes beet red. "What- they don't squeak, they /chitter/, and- look, that is NOT important. What IS important is that your 'friends' struck the first blow. When their thrice-damned undermining efforts failed," she growls, "the bugs sent their warriors overland. But we chased them off, thank the World Tree."

(Cont.)

>>21317643
Boss Bawss... blinks. "Dat's an awful long way to dig."

Still, he can't help but remember the earth beneath his feet teeming with hundreds of thousands of scurrying insects as he approached the Royal Hive. How deep do those tunnels go? How FAR do those tunnels go?

But on the other hand...

Celicia pauses, as if considering something. Then, she just throws up her arms. "Not bloody long enough!" she shoots back heatedly. "And we have the tunnels to prove it. Tunnels, bugs, bugs, tunnels. If you have any other explanation, I would LOVE to hear it."

[ ] ... are you SURE you didn't krump any workers?
[ ] Hey, uh... can we see those tunnels?
[ ] If you want, we can ask da beetle-men about, maybe give 'em a little talkin' to?
[ ] Write-in!

Rolled 56

>>21317659
>[X] Hey, uh... can we see those tunnels?

After that the Boss is probably going to mention they probably did not even know the tree was there when they dough the tunnels.

>>21317659
>[X] If you want, we can ask da beetle-men about, maybe give 'em a little talkin' to?
>[X]Maybe we can check those tunnels out
I think it's better we do it, since we're already friends with them and all

>>21317659
"So you didn't krump none of the workers. The Queen is understanding an all that, and I think she likes me, so I'm sure we can work it out without any krumpin. If you didn't krump any workers.

Can I see summa those tunnels?"

>>21317659
>[X] Hey, uh... can we see those tunnels?
Let's see the tunnels and clear the names of out bug buddies. Let the wheels of friendship be greased with Ogre luck.

>>21317659
[x] Hey, uh... can we see those tunnels?
[x] If you want we can ask da beetle-men about, maybe give 'em a little talkin' to?

File: 1351392296840.jpg-(93 KB, 641x481, 1350854945338.jpg)

>>21317659
>[X] Hey, uh... can we see those tunnels?
>[X] If you want, we can ask da beetle-men about, maybe give 'em a little talkin' to?

Look, if you want, we can talk to those in charge of the Bugs, cause their Queen is really nice when we talked to her, something about 'NOT TREATING HER OR THE BUGMEN AS MONSTERS'

Anyway, if we see the tunnels, you then have actual evidence instead of just your word for it.


>>21317607
>Not wearing them in your hat
>ISHIGGYDIGGY

>>21317659
>[ ] Hey, uh... can we see those tunnels?
Could just be mole ravagers that need to some krumpin.

[X] Hey, uh... can we see those tunnels?
[X] If you want, we can ask da beetle-men about, maybe give 'em a little talkin' to?

>>21317659
>[X]Wot if it's dem uvva git beetles an' not da not-git ones dat wuz messin' wif ya?

Recall the mention of that one hive-spire which we accidentally toppled on the way to the Royal Hive. The one with dickish insurrectionists?

>>21317752
This too. I forgot about those guys.

>>21317752
Yeah, bring up that there's more than one beetle faction.

Wait a sec, didn't we fuck up a rival hive or something Ogir Place first started flying?

>>21317752
Man, completely forgot about them. This may be an entirely different group.

>>21317752
Of course, I completely forgot that.
This also

Rolled 3

>>21317659

"Well, there are some other guys we krumped who aren't under the queen. Maybe it was dem?"

>>21317793
The beetlemen had no why their men were dying so it probably is.

>>21317767
>>21317793
What was the Queens name? We meet any bug men in the tunnels, we start off with some variation of "God save the queen (Bug)" and see how they react.

Rolled 13

>>21317807

This and this:

>[X] Hey, uh... can we see those tunnels?

Seems like the best choice

File: 1351392730567.gif-(479 KB, 426x267, 1343233410746.gif)

>>21317752
... you guys have the memories of fucking elephants

>>21317659
this is bad. what if they didnt know about the tree? that means they were just digging. and then the elves killed this 'undermining" team. that means they killed a lot of workers. and then things got worse

>>21317837
>Celicia spots Ogir Plase.gif

>>21317843
This seems like most reasonable explanation.

File: 1351392888312.jpg-(3 KB, 106x126, 1351284860087.jpg)

>>21317837
Nah, we just have access to the archive.

>>21317837

Well, that's what you get when you got people heavily invested into the story.

ANYWAYS! There's a potential idea right there. ALL A MISUNDERSTANDING INVOLVING REBELS.

(Is anyone else amused that these elves have guns? Wonder if they're bolt-action, semi-auto or full. Either way, seems the elves manages to get into the Industrial Revolution or past.. SOMEHOW. Unless they bought it off human merchants.)

File: 1351392946792.png-(50 KB, 323x295, 1329097307717.png)

>>21317861

>Boss Bawss Fistboss's face when Celicia's face

Alright, Celicia's getting a bit worked up, so... LET'S SEE BOSS BAWSS FLEX THEM DIPLOMACY MUSCLES

>***STUPID LUCKY TIME?***
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)

>>21317863
If it wasn't the splinter hive. I'm interested in seeing what direction Blorp takes it.

Rolled 30

>>21317892
BEHOLDETH!

Rolled 6

>>21317892
TIME TO GET DIPLOMANCY

Rolled 29

>>21317902
Fuck.

Rolled 43

>>21317892
DIPLOMACY! BY THE POWER OF SQUIGBOZZ

Rolled 9

>>21317892

We utilize one of our stored ones if this one is shit.

File: 1351393054907.jpg-(105 KB, 1031x1031, hahahaha Ogre.jpg)

Rolled 41

>>21317892

>>21317883
Didn't these elves mention something about interdenominational portals? Or at least some kind of portals

Rolled 34

>>21317892

OGRES START!

Rolled 93

>>21317892

>>21317827
Yeah, they just said that they killed them from the sky. They didn't do the tunnels, or else they wouldn't of said that...

Rolled 98

>>21317892

I have all the luck.

Rolled 8

>>21317892
Rollin

Rolled 6

>>21317934
>>21317941

'Ere we go!

Rolled 22

>>21317892
I have no luck.

File: 1351393159410.gif-(462 KB, 280x158, Protecting a control point.gif)

Rolled 66

>>21317926
>>21317911
Wait, are these good or bad rolls?

>>21317955
Both?

Rolled 31

>>21317892
>>21317902
rolling and god damn it

Rolled 24

>>21317955

Good rolls. So bad its good. And yours is awesome.

Rolled 93

>>21317892

Rolled 92

>>21317892

>>21317902
Well, could of been worse. I'm amused by the 29 and 31 though.

Rolled 47

>>21317976
>>21317934
Doubles

Rolled 79

>>21317998
Actually that is as bad as it gets.

File: 1351393419305.png-(149 KB, 760x628, 1350585656945.png)

Rolled 28

>>21317911
>>21317951
>Double 6
Well thats ok then, I gue-

>>21317934
>>21317976

>Double 93
Alright! This is gonna be gre-

>>21317954
>>21317955
>Pic related
I am so sorry Blorp.
We should probably turn off the rolling now.

Rolled 97

>>21317998
No it could not have been. 12 through 40 is the only 'purely' bad area, discarding doubles.

Rolled 20

>>21317892

Rolled 27

>>21318017

Don't doubles and nat 1's / 100's take precedence over other rolls?

Rolled 51

>>21318031
If it's not part of the first roll I think it just gets added to the Luck Singularity.

Rolled 24

>>21318031
Not sure

For the love of Lady Luck, Stop rolling. We don't want to break Blorp.

>>21318031
I only really take the first rolls needed, sorry. >>21318048 has it right.

>>21318056

Well then, Diplomacy is one of the few things we probably WILL use one of the stored God-Rolls on.

Unless anyone else disagrees?

Rolled 27

>>21318056

How exactly does the Luck Singularity work?

Rolled 19

>>21318048
I wonder what would happen if we use it right now.

Rolled 14

>>21318056
A quick question actually.

would there actually be any significant difference between the singularity now and with a few more 'doubles and such' rolls?

>>21318066
I'm dying to know what would happen.

Rolled 3, 1 = 4

Also, I vote we burn our Singularity now. We can stockpile another one pretty easily, considering all of our luck.

File: 1351393750434.png-(47 KB, 203x271, 1350626950259.png)

Rolled 49

>>21318070
Probably result in some horrific fusion of both the Bugmen and Elven Gods, forcing both their races to exist in harmony for the rest of eternity

>>21318069
You use it, and it's like taking all doubles, past, present, and future, and unleashing it upon the world all at once.

>>21318076
... given the sheer amount of terrifying rolls that've built up since I established the rule... not really!

>>21318066
Fine with me

>>21318069

All the dubs / nat 1's / nat 100's get stored and we can access them at any point If I'm not mistaken.

It's a system where our luck is supposed to be "average" instead of dishing out double and nat 100's every single time dice are called for.

>>21318066
You don't realize how much luck we have stored up, its "Lady Luck herself comes down to basically command reality to realign itself" levels. Not enough for this.

>>21318066
I for one want to stay on this diplomatic roll we've been on.

I vote we use the luck singularity. Besides, rolling like we are it'll be primed again in no time.

Rolled 3

>>21318066
I...I want it.

File: 1351393795584.png-(25 KB, 672x1042, Poker_Face.png)

>>21318069
When we cash in, we win the quest.

>>21318076
There is a limit to how many rolls we can store.

Rolled 43

>>21318090

Whoops, rerolling.

>>21318109
God fucking dammit, forgot to turn that off.

>>21318092

Ogre's now rule the cosmos and bend reality at their will.

Luck Singularity go!

No not really.

OKAY, it looks like a lot of people want to use the Luck Intervention we store up, so I'm going to put it to an official vote:

>USE LUCK INTERVENTION, FOR REALS?
[ ] Yes
[ ] No

File: 1351393874098.gif-(2.41 MB, 220x220, 1340640598023.gif)

>>21318066
Nah, save it for something serious
As Gaben says
>Pic related

>>21318066
I agree with this.

Rolled 75

I want to see what exactly does a Luck Singularity does.

Considering its Ogres it likely to be both Trollish and Amusing.

Rolled 10

>>21318134
Yes.

It's not getting any better, and I want to see what happens.

>>21318134
[x] Very Yes

>>21318134
use it!

>>21318134
Before we use it, whats our pre-Intervention roll look like?

>>21318134
FUCK YES

>>21318134
I... I don't think that's a good idea. Let's save it for a crisis. Dear me, no. We're just trying to diplomance the elves into a less hostile stance towards the Scaratones, and with the info we have we can't really fuck up, just not do as well.

>>21318134
yes. this can only work out well. there is no drawbacks to this plan

>>21318134

Nah, we still get to use that 6 >>21317911
rolled right?

It's so stupid, it's brilliant.

>>21318114
>>21318076
A functional limit after a certain point, yeah.

Also, keep in mind that the Goddess of Luck Intervention WILL build itself back up again over time. (Probably very short time, at that, given how hot /tg/ dice is).

>>21318134
>[X] NO

As Blorp said earlier
>>21318092
It uses up all past, present and future doubles in one go, so we can't have lucky doubles ever again

>>21318134
Yes. I want Bro-elves. We will be know around the globe at the beings that pulled the metaphorical stick out of their asses.

>>21318134

Use it!

[X] Yes

>>21318161
I didn't mean that literally!!

>>21318134
[x] No

This is the kind of power that can wipe out entire armies. We can make amends through more mundane means.

It would probably get charged back up quickly though, so I wouldn't be very opposed to us using it, but I believe in the words of a wise professor. "Now isn't the time for that."

>>21318161
refer to
>>21318159

he said it would be like. but it doesnt actualy use it up

Rolled 31

>>21318161

Read properly you fool. Like, not does. Like using.

Properly read!

>>21318171

Your sanity would shatter if that were the case, with the amount of doubles the dice gods would dish out on you.

That's probably what would happen in any case.

>>21318161
There is a limit to the number of rolls we can store in it.

>>21318134
Yes.

>>21318134
>[ ] Yes

>>21318134
>[X] Yes

I don't want it to be like one of those items that's to valuable to use.

Rolled 60

DIMPLOMANCE THE EVERLOVING FUCK OUTTA THESE ELVES!

>2 1/3 yrsprac
Two and a third years of practice!

Do it. It doesn't literally eat all future crits.

Use it. We should use as many luck singularities as possible over the course of this quest if they regen.

File: 1351394220875.jpg-(210 KB, 984x629, 1350685482643.jpg)

>>21318171
oh.

It'd be like ruining everything for everyone at once, wouldn't it?

Fuck it. We have enough Luck to fuck up anything that gets in our way. (Also, if it all goes tits up, I would like to point out that I fucking called it)

Lets do it!

this is going to be amazing if you can pull off the level of mindfuckery that is required for this Blorp.

File: 1351394249889.jpg-(15 KB, 274x297, 1298432306966.jpg)

Looks like it's 'yes'!

... in which case, brb, re-writing what I had typed up.

>>21318230
So now the Goddess's Luck burns out for a little bit, and then it'll start storing all the dubs again?

>>21318161
Yes, only just to see what will happens. I bet we will diplomance those elves so hard that not only they will join us but will also turn into ogres.

>>21318230

If you don't mind, would you c/p what the update was going to be like, as an extra?

Rolled 93

>>21318243
Yes.

After this thread/Turn, we start storing unused 1's, 100's and doubles.

>>21318243
Basically, whenever I call for a roll, and after I get the roll I need, I store any amazingly stupidly good rolls in the first 3 (or more, I'll have to tweak it) superfluous rolls.

>>21318257
I'm thinking we'll diplomance so hard, we learn it as a new school of magic. Diplomancers.

Also, calling it now, there will be a side write-up of the queen reacting to this, but not knowing why.

>>21318261
... actually, you know what, I'm just going to straight-up incorporate the post I had planned, because I just realized I can make this work.

>>21318261
I was literally just going to post this. Seriously.

>>21318276
I got that much the first time you described it, Blorp. I'm just asking how long the cooldown was before it starts powering up again.

Rolled 71

>>21318289
Excellent.

Rolled 11

>>21318296
Immediately.

>>21318296
Oh! My bad. Basically, >>21318309 has it right.

Rolled 45

>>21318309

Hold your horses dude, those rolls dont count yet.

But Ogres.

File: 1351394603756.jpg-(8 KB, 205x197, 1334810094581.jpg)

>>21318309

Well if that wasn't the case before, it certainly is now.

>>21318276
Well, you said ogre's get luckier the more of them are around.

Maybe you could say that the number of superfluous rolls equals our population divided by, like, ten, rounding down? Fifteen or twenty if you want it to scale slower?

>>21318345
Well, who knows how big Ogir Place wil be?

>>21318345
... oh hoh, that is actually a REALLY good idea that would make the ogres' population a more important stat.

I'll definitely have to think about this, or something like this.

File: 1351394798510.gif-(1.11 MB, 240x320, 1350630084968.gif)

>>21318289
Was it really going to be that awesome?
Because I'm thinking that the Lady of Luck is going to descend from on high to fix all this shit, without the Ogres even noticing her, despite all the other races that do.

>Pic of Lady Luck and Co. The Ogres are the kid in blue standing on her feet ignoring her, the kid in pink running around is everybody else.

The suspense is building. Imagining all the ways this could go horribly right...

>>21318372
I hopw not. Then it will stop being 'it's ogres.' And start being 'it's lady luck.' All the mystery will be gone.

>>21318608
The divine hand is never seen, but always noticed. Its repercussions are always known.

File: 1351396135731.jpg-(42 KB, 480x720, NORSE CRISIS FLOWCHART.jpg)

>>21318608
Figuratively
although, I suspect that the Bug Queen will notice, along with maybe one or two of the Elves.
Of course, no one will fully believe them, because of the lack of any evidence.

>>21318628
Yeah, but IC everyone things 'Holy fuck, these ogres!' If Lady Luck decends it will turn to 'They just have divine intervention, nothing special about the ogres themselves.'

>>21318656
Which is why she never will. But people will forever continue to ask "WHY ARE THEY STILL HERE?"

File: 1351396305719.png-(45 KB, 177x182, 1351041438872.png)

>>21318656
Well, it is acknowledged that they are blessed by Lady Luck, who is noted for taking pity on the poor Ogres.

Next time we tech up, what should we aim for? I like the idea of a weapon that can also be used for practical stuff. Ogres with big sharpened shovels would be pretty kickass. It would help with mining too.

>>21317659
>[X] Offer to ask da beetle-men later?
>[X] There ARE other beetle gits who hate da queen?
>[X] Tunnels?
>30 - Not So Good... [BUT.]

Now, Boss Bawss doesn't know a whole lot about making friends and having friends, but he has the distinct feeling that having friends who are dead-set on murdering each other messily may not be a very good idea.

That's why he immediately raises his hands and gets to work smoothing things over. "'Ey, now, um... we can totally go back an' talk to da Queen later-"

"Yes," Celicia mutters, massaging the bridge of her nose- and then she stops, her eyes snapping wide open. "Assuming you aren't... in league with them in the first place..."

For the first time in his life, Boss Bawss understands the meaning of the phrase "sweating bullets," as every single elf in Daphnaia Tree turns to stare at the ogres, their eyes seeming to glow slightly in the dim light.

"An', um." Boss Bawss scratches his head, fretting more than a little bit. Somehow, the glare from the diminutive elf standing in front of him is more intimidating than ANY bone drake or beetle-man queen. "There's also dis thing about how da beetle-men don't all agree with each other, so maybe it was OTHER beetle-men...?"

"That's possible, but..." After a moment, Celicia sighs and shakes her head, looking more weary than ever before, and the next two words out of her mouth only increases Boss Bawss's worry. "... I'm sorry," she says softly. "I'm not sure we can afford to believe you. Not anymore. Not until we can figure out if you're actually trustworthy."

Celicia raises one hand into the air. "Soldiers, take these ogres into custo-"

Boss Bawss Fistboss's head snaps up.

No.

(Cont.)

>>21318919
>[GODDESS OF LUCK INTERVENTION ROLL USED]

Before anyone can so much as move, Boss Bawss takes a sharp shard of rock from his hat, hefts it above his head, and slices clean through his wrist, sending his left hand tumbling to the ground in a spray of blood.

The moment of shocked, frozen silence is quickly broken by Boss Bawss's pained bellows as he slumps to the ground, the ogres' panicked and confused roars, and Celicia's shriek. Decades of battlefield experience has her kneeling next to him before she even knows it, tearing a long strip of fabric from her leg armor and binding Boss Bawss's wound, trying to staunch the flow of blood. "W-What the hell- /why/?" she half-snarls and half-chokes, her hands thankfully working entirely on automatic to tighten the fabric.

"Listen," Boss Bawss rumbles weakly, his quiet bass shutting up the ogres immediately. "Dat's... da strength of my conviction."

The female elf nearly loses her grip on the makeshift bandage. "Wh... what...? Have you lost your- no, you shut the fuck up, you're going to bleed out if we don't-"

"/Listen./" Boss Bawss's other hand, bloodstained that it is, grabs for Celicia's shoulder. "Da Scaratones are our bros," he rumbles. "Dey have been nothin' but honest to us. Dey helped us... a lot." The larger ogre grunts in pain. "We're stickin' by dem, thick or thin... but I ain't lettin' anythin' bad happen to my boys, just on a misunderstandin'. I ain't doubtin' your word, but... it could be a lotta things, right? Dat other group of beetle-men, for example. Right?"

Celicia can do nothing but stare as Boss Bawss Fistboss continues speaking.

(Cont.)

>>21318913
Unlock that last category we've been ignoring.

Rolled 11

>>21318919
MY ASS IS BEING HELD FIRMLY CAPTAIN!

File: 1351397348321.jpg-(22 KB, 450x360, foryoursins.jpg)

>>21318930
"Now, if it turns out dat dey really did this thing, we'll... work somethin' out. Queenie'll listen to me. She'll... listen. You got my word, we'll talk to dem. Dat's da strength of my conviction. Da ogres' conviction, and of my boys. You can see it in my blood," he adds, nodding to the lifeblood pooling on the floor. The larger ogre pauses. "Now, we're ogres, so we don't got a lotta friends. But, hey."

Boss Bawss grins at the female elf, his gaze level with her shocked eyes. "Hand's a small price to pay to keep a friend... ain't it...? An' an ogre hat'll totally look good on your head."

Celicia opens her mouth to speak- but then she suddenly stands up and turns away, running a hand through her hair. "What the fuck is wrong with you...?" Her voice is choked, and yet, softer than it normally is. "F-Fine. That's- ... fine. We'll wait and see."

After a moment, she nods to herself. And the female elf turns around, the ghost of a smile flitting across her features. "... I'll put my trust in you."

Boss Bawss Fistboss grins back, showing the hint of a tusk. "Heh... dat's good. Real good..."

(Cont.)

File: 1351397436484.png-(254 KB, 1000x1000, 1341884164420.png)

>>21318944
And then he stands up, brushes himself off, picks up his dismembered hand, and reattaches it to his wrist, wincing as he flexes his fingers. "Oof. Dat really stung a lot," he mutters. "Don't think I'm gonna be real good with dis hand for a few days. A'right," the larger ogre says jubilantly. "Let's go look at those tunnels, shall we? -- wot's wrong?"

Celicia opens her mouth, points at Boss Bawss Fistboss, and a vein stands out on her head. "B... buh."

Then she shuts her mouth, her eyelid twitching incessantly as she cuts off her own squeak.

After a moment of blank staring, her mouth opens again. "... aaah." And then her brain calls it a day, her eyes roll up into her head, and she faints dead away.

Boss Bawss Fistboss scratches his head. /Elves/.

>Boss Bawss Fistboss has gained vocation [Diplomancer]! Adds +30 to all diplomacy rolls (if not doubles/otherwise good), if he's present and leading the talks.
>Boss Bawss Fistboss is now slightly more reality-warping than he was before!
>The Elves of Daphnaia have more or less joined the ogres! Yes, really. The blood ritual stretching back for generations of ogres that Boss Bawss made up just now has truly terrified and/or impressed these elves.

(Cont. in 15-20 minutes!)

Rolled 44

Ogres. Just Ogres.

Also, why do i have the feeling the Boss will have a Harem of the various ladies. There are already two, what would likely join it.

>>21318940
>>21318985

Also this is a message from Lady Luck. Fuck Yeah.

>>21318919
>>21318930
>>21318944
>>21318965

...Holy Shit, that was awesome.

File: 1351397599670.png-(252 KB, 579x329, 1350936484295.png)

Rolled 52

>>21318965
At first I was ask what the fuck was going on, but then I realized, its 'fucking Ogres'

>>21318940
>>21318985
Oh come on, we already used up all the Luck we previously had!

>>21318965
Why do I sense that there's going to be a whole lot of back-and-forth 'fucking ogres-fucking elves' antics from here on in?

Rolled 49

>>21319013
Don't forget 'Fucking Bugmen'

Rolled 59

Ogres the Ultimate Diplomancers.

And Boss the Ultimate Ogre.

File: 1351397788577.jpg-(52 KB, 600x748, eyeup_kamina_04.jpg)

You know what. Boss needs a cloak.

Please stop shipping.

I hope that our boss being a Diplomancer doesn't push away the rest of the ogres, who I doubt know much more than krumping everything.

Rolled 92

>>21319085

You my friend are an idiot for saying such things. Go read the Archives and bask in the Bosses Glory! And make amends for such heresy!

>>21319083
In reference to
>>21318985

Rolled 37

>>21319116

A symbolic Harem. Not a real one since i doubt the Boss even knows what Sex is.

>>21319085
Are you kidding? No one krumps like da boss does.

>>21319083
I don't want shipping, I just want shoulder sniper elves, because that's utterly adorable sounding.

I could see going for a political marriage with Queenie, that could be interesting, but that's mainly for the political benefits.

File: 1351398109051.gif-(188 KB, 170x162, 1350854431983.gif)

>>21319085
He just cut off his hand. THEN REATTACHED IT

I seriously doubt any Ogre will want to take him on once that news gets around.

>>21318985
Yeah Nah Bro.
Doubt Boss Bawss would do that, even if he did realize what he was doing.

So we're checking out the tunnels. Do we got crack-tus sticks with us, Bawss?

>>21318965
I... His hand... What... Fucking ogres. Just fucking ogres.

You never fail to impress Blorp.

>>21318965
We're going to unite this whole damn continent, aren't we?

File: 1351398700784.jpg-(306 KB, 466x617, 1294123683867.jpg)

>>21318965
Five minutes later, the ogres manage to get all the elves to stand up and stop rocking back and forth, clutching their knees to their chests and whimpering.

Five minutes after THAT, both groups manage to wake Celicia back up, and it's only a few more minutes before SHE stops rocking back and forth with her knees hugged to her chest.

Eventually, the elves DO lead the ogres down to the tunnels- well, half of them, anyway, since that many ogres would have trouble fitting in the space carved out amongst Daphnaia's roots. Celicia nods to the one or two guards patrolling the entrance to the tunnel, who allows the group to pass without comment (though not with a few incredulous stares at the ogres. One or two of the elves following Celicia reassures them: "it's a long story").

"Ow." Boss Bawss bumps his head against the bottom of a root for the fifth time- the space down here is just right for the elves, but not so much for the ogres. "Hey, are we there y-"

"Yes," Celicia replies curtly, standing to one side and giving Boss Bawss a cool glance. She's mostly recovered her mental equilibrium by now (though it's a little hard to tell where she's concerned, really). "One of the many entry points they've carved into Daphnaia. We were about to work on sealing this one off like the others, but then you guys came."

The blonde elf glares daggers into the gloom of the tunnel. "... and we lost a few good soldiers down here. No fucking place for an elf to die," she mutters.

Boss Bawss squints pensively at the tunnel, wishing for a moment that Gubbins was with him- that little geomancer ogre had a knack for picking up on details, even before he became one with the dirt and all that jazz. "... it's a tunnel, alright," he replies uncerta-

>***STUPID LUCKY TIME?***
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)

Rolled 3

>>21319276

Rolled 2

>>21319286
Stupid lucky time.

Rolled 59

>>21319286
Well of course.

Rolled 22

>>21319297
Hot damn, super stupid lucky time.

Rolled 20

Big Money, No Whammies...

Rolled 12

GET STUPID GET LUCKTARDED
OGRES GET THE PARTY STARTED

Rolled 11

>>21319286
>>21319297
Stupid lucky time indeed.

Rolled 63

Time to roll the dice.

Rolled 28

>>21319286
Oh boy

File: 1351398906638.gif-(1.05 MB, 300x278, 1350700492905.gif)

Rolled 47

>>21319286
>>21319297

OH BOY
HERE WE GO

File: 1351398910601.jpg-(52 KB, 524x451, ain't that some shit.jpg)

Rolled 93

>>21319286
>>21319297
>>21319310
>>21319321

Rolled 11

>>21319276
Wozzat?

Rolled 60

>>21319318
Worst possible roll. eek

Rolled 93

>>21319276

I really love when I catch some of these Ogre antics happening, but damned if I understand the rolling system...

Rolled 16

>>21319354
>>21319337
>>21319338
It keeps happening!

Rolled 58

>>21319338
>>21319321
DOUBLE DOUBLE DOUBLES

File: 1351399087213.gif-(993 KB, 290x198, last TOR subscibers.gif)

Rolled 18

>>21319286
>>21319297
>>21319310
>>21319321
>>21319338
>>21319354


FOR FUCKS SAKE
FUCKING OGRES

>Pic related

ITS EVERYBODY IN THIS FUCKING THREAD

>>21319358
Whoop! I'll make it a point to post the rolling rules at the beginning of each thread now, since they really aren't in any one definitive easy-to-spot place:

>Any Doubles: STUPID LUCKY
>100: SO BRILLIANT IT'S STUPID
>90-98: Stupidly Successful
>60-90: Successful
>40-60: Adequate
>10-40: Not So Good
>2-10: SO STUPID THAT IT'S BRILLIANT
>1: LUCKY STUPID

So we are already recharging the luck singularity right? I see multiple dubs.

>>21319358
A refresher, then.

>Any Doubles: STUPID LUCKY
>100: SO BRILLIANT IT'S STUPID
>90-98: Stupidly Successful
>60-90: Successful
>40-60: Adequate
>10-40: Not So Good
>2-10: SO STUPID THAT IT'S BRILLIANT
>1: LUCKY STUPID

Also, if we get any capslock rolls shortly after Blorp asks for rolls, they get saved as a Goddess of Luck bonus we can burn to replace terrible rolls.

>>21319276
I hope they always react like that. These elves are fun.

File: 1351399193214.png-(95 KB, 261x307, 1325650170422.png)

>>21319380
>>21319297
>>21319286
>>21319310
>>21319321
I'm going to have to add a cooldown for [Goddess of Luck Interventions], aren't I

Rolled 81

>>21319358
Basically its like this. If you roll a one, you get a result that isn't quite what you wanted, but good. If you get a two through nine, you get something good, but slightly not what you want. A ten through fortyish is bad. Fortyish through eightyish is good. Ninety to ninety nine is great! One hundred is super great! Doubles are Really great! Double doubles are pretty much unheard of, but great!

Really, as a rule of thumb shoot for extremes. The more average a number is, the worse it is.