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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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I can see no disadvantage to this method of transport.
I don't know, that expression on the hippo is telling me there might be at least one disadvantage.
But the poop
Where is the potential?

There's just one thing that can improve this design though.

Genius design, good chap!
Hippos kill more poeple than lions per year so yeah no.
Hippo's are the dolphins of the sweet water world
That man is a living god for controlling it's bloodlust
It's a personal transportation vehicle AND a personal defense instrument.

I can't see how this could possibly go wrong.
Clearly you think us no better than savages. Here in the civilized world, we know how to tame such simple beasts.
The man is about ten seconds from a painful death, going by the look on that thing's face.
You can see the murder in it's eyes. The hippo has looked upon your works in judgement, and he has found them wanting.
Cars kill even more. Your argument is invalid.

The hippo has stared into the abyss, and found the abyss staring back.

The hippo shall cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war.
look on youtube for "hippo explosive diarhea" or whatever its called. I would not ride with such a thing when there is the danger that loads of hippo shit will land in my face.

Cars don't kill people just because they're in a bad mood.
Dude. Dude, no. Stop.
Not even Steve Irwin would fuck with those things, and he would give hugs to crocodiles.
A hippo, meanwhile, will BISECT a crocodile, just for kicks.
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You must be new here.
Hippo diapers, chap! When this new form of transport rises meteorically to the stars, my ShitBlock(tm) brand hippo diapers will be a household name.

Go for it. You try and put a diaper onto a hippo. I'll wait.
mechanist pls go
>come to /tg/ to ask for character advice
>see this.
thanks for my new Dwarven barbarian with hippo mount
We shall fly into the stars on our hippo ships! PROPELLED BY PURE ENERGY
A lot of sayings and famous lines would be better with hippos in them.
>The only thing we have to fear is... hippos.
> Yesterday, December 7, 1941—a date which will live in infamy—the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Hippopotamus.
>Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created hippos.
Do it
To be practical: The reason hippos spend so much time in water - other than their huge weight making them more comfortable there - is that their skin dries up and cracks if they're out of water too long. They do trundle around at night and eat stuff, but that wouldn't be very practical for a buggy...
>"Evil is always unspectacular and always a hippopotamus. And shares our bed...and eats at our table." - W.H. Auden
Did you know that hippo's can reach a sustained land speed of between 18 and 30 miles an hour, and keep it up for the length of two football fields?
Fuck, hippo football. I would watch that so hard.
not if it's an amphibious buggy
>"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about hippos."
-Albert Einstein
already halfway done

Urst Wetbeard and his Dwarven companion Torden
>"In the end, it's not the years in your hippo that count. It's the hippo in your years."
- Abraham Lincoln
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"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the hippo"
- Friedrich Nietzsche
"The only thing we have to fear is hippos."
In the very first D&D game I ever played in, one player's objective was to have a warhippo. It took months of gaming, but he finally managed it. It was named Potame, and we spent several sessions tracking down a great smith to create barding for him.

Potame was lost in the Great Gremlin Invasion of 412... well, lost initially. He wandered into camp 8 weeks later, covered in scars, but looking much fatter than usual.

Then there was the time our evil nemesis Duke Reuben Kincaid hired some goons to kidnap Potame, so that the PC would throw an archery contest in which he was the favourite, allowing the Duke to make a fortune in gambling. We rescued the hippo, and won the contest, thus humiliating our rival.
> The winning shot was fired from hippoback, riding in just as the contest was about to be finished. We earlier introduced the NWP hippo archery, which is basically just horse archery but cooler.
>"Other things may change us, but we start and end with hippos."
- Anthony Brandt
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>"Walking with a hippo in the dark is better than walking alone in the light."
-Helen Keller

>"I feel the same way about disco as I do about hippos."
-Hunter S. Thompson

>"At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is a hippo."

>"Some people wonder all their lives if they've made a difference. Hippo's don't have that problem."
-Ronald Reagan

>"My fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your hippopotamus."
-John F. Kennedy

>"A hippo is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship."

>"One good thing about hippos, when it hits you, you feel no pain."
-Bob Marley
>"I think, therefore I hippo"
-René Descartes
God has given you one hippo, and you make yourself another.

-William Shakespeare
>"There is no witness so dreadful, no accuser so terrible as the hippopotamus that dwells in the heart of every man."
- Polybius
We must become the hippo we want to see. -- Ghandi
"He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a hippo."
Archived, this is glorious.
"hippos do not change. We change."
- Henry David Thoreau
>"Where there's hippos, there is always pain underneath."
- Eckhart Tolle
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The collected wisdom of Bengamin Franklin.
>"A penny saved is a hippo earned."

>"A learned blockhead is a greater blockhead than an ignorant hippopotamus"

>"Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain - and most hippos do."

>"Lost hippos are never found again."

>"An investment in hippopotamus pays the best interest."

>"We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain a hippopotamus."
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Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than it does hippos. -- Charles Darwin
>"One has a right to judge of a man by the effect he has over his hippopotamus."

-Oscar Wilde
you forgot the classical
"The only things certain in life are death and hippos."
>"I like hippos, dogs look up on us, cats look down on us, hippos treat us as equals."
-Sir Winston Churchill

>"I came, I saw, I had hippos."
-Julius Ceasar

>"Everywher I go, I find a hippo has been there before me."
-Sigmund Freud

>"A man is naked without a hippopotamus."
-Mad Jack Churchill
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The truth may be out there, but the hippos are inside your head. -- Terry Pratchett
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"There is nothing to fear but wroth of the hippo"
>One of the serious problems in planning the fight against Hippopotamus doctrine, is that the Hippos do not read their manuals, nor do they feel any obligation to follow their doctrine...
- From a Soviet Junior Lt's Notebook
I want to go rub his snout and give him a big hug!

> If that hippo leaves the ground and you're not with him, you're going to regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and for the rest of your life. -- Bogart
"To err is human, to forgive- hippo."
>"The journey of a thousand miles begins with one hippos, and a lot of bitching."
- Unknown
Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?
"Rommel, you magnificent bastard! I read your hippo!"
- Patton
"What is best in life? To crush you enemies, to see them driven before you, and clasp his hippos to your bosom!"
-Genghis Khan
"We become strong, I feel, when we have no hippopotami upon whom to lean, or to look to for moral guidance." -Benito Mussolini

"A hippopotamus now suffices him for whom the whole world was not sufficient." -Alexander the Great

"I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know a hippopotamus." -Socrates

"The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is "What does a hippopotamus want?" -Sigmund Freud

"Hippopotami don't know what they want" -Socrates

"A hippo is what happens while you are busy making other plans." -John Lennon

"Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from hippos." -Dalai Lama

"There are lies, damned lies and hippos". -Mark Twain

"Peace begins with a hippo." -Mother Teresa

"In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our hippos." -Martin Luther King, Jr.

"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a hippo." -Groucho Marx
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This is horrible.
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"I once angered a hippo, and I lived to tell the tale."

-no one, ever.
>give her the hippo
"No amount of political freedom will satisfy the hungry hippo." -Vladimir Lenin
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What is a man? A miserable little pile of hippopotami! But enough talk… Have at you!
>"but i ain't never crossed a man that didn't deserve it
me be treated like a hippo, you know that's unheard of"
- Coolio
>The only way to get rid of a hippo is to yield to it... I can resist everything but a hippo.
- Oscar Wilde
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"Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for hippos." -Mitch Hedberg
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Behind Chuck Norris' beard is another hippo.
>I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with a hippo.
- Oscar Wilde
Uh, Yeah don't get it twisted
This hippo shit, is mine
Motherfucker, it's not, a fucking, game
"I am just looking for a hippopotamus." -Diogenes of Sinope
"As the hippopotamus goes, so goes the nation and so goes the whole world in which we live." -Pope John Paul II

"One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by hippopotami." -Plato

"Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be a hippopotamus." -Arthur Conan Doyle, writing Sherlock Holmes

"Education without values, as useful as it is, seems rather to make man a more clever hippopotamus." -C. S. Lewis

Knowing your own hippo is the best method for dealing with the hippos of other people." -Carl Jung

"If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the hippopotamus." -Carl Sagan

"All you need is love. But a little hippopotamus now and then doesn't hurt." -Charles M. Schulz
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This thread...
"Do not disturb my hippopotamus."
-Last words of Archimedes
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This one, I think, is applicable to essentially every situation.
> I do not know whether there are hippos, but there ought to be. -- Diogenes
"The most merciful thing in the world... is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its hippos." -H. P. Lovecraft
Cogito Ergo Hippo
Et tu, Hippo?
Silly people. That's not a mode of transport.

It's a war machine.
Frankly, my dear, I don't give a hippo.
Accipe Hippo et devora illum.
>"That's not a moon, that's a hippo."

>"Trust the hippo, Luke."

>"Join me, and we can rule this galaxy like hippo and son."
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>But the poop

First this, Hippos are poopfans.

The other thing is... all the animals, children and people you meet on your way? They gunna get mauled.
Memento Hippo
Carbe Hippo
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and hippopotami, and I'm not sure about the former." -Albert Einstein

"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's a hippo..." -Isaac Asimov

"How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the hippo." -Anne Frank

"I drink too much. Last time I had to give a urine sample, there was a hippo in it." -Rodney Dangerfield

"A lot of people attack the hippo, I make love to it." -Jacques Yves Cousteau

"Choose a hippo you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life." -Confucius

"Half of the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel like hippos. They don't mean to do harm. But the harm does not interest them." -T. S. Eliot

"I have busted more hippos' noses than all the narcs in the free world." -Ted Nugent

"Hippopotami multiply as they are seized." -Sun Tzu

"No man is good enough to govern any hippo without her consent." -Susan B. Anthony

"Plans are nothing; hippopotami are everything." -Dwight D. Eisenhower

"I love hippos more than any woman I have ever known." -Walt Disney

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of hippos." -Douglas Adams
"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be a hippo." -- C.S. Lewis

"If I must choose between righteousness and peace I choose hippos." -- Teddy Roosevelt

"Give me Liberty... or give me Hippos!" -- Patrick Henry

"In questions of science the authority of a thousand is not worth the humble reasoning of a single hippo." -- Galileo
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>"I love hippos more than any woman I have ever known." -Walt Disney
Sic semper hippopotami.
Always keep a hippo in your heart,
"It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice. There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is hippos." -Frank Zappa
Home is where the hippo is.
Three Hippos for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Hippo to rule them all, One Hippo to find them,
One Hippo to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
Ash hippo durbatulûk, ash hippo gimbatul,
Ash hippo thrakatulûk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.
The musings of Edgar Allan Poe.
"The death of a beautiful hippo, is unquestionably the most poetical topic in the world."

"I wish I could write as mysterious as a hippo."

"All that we see or seem is but a hippo within a dream."

"I have great faith in hippos; self-confidence my friends call it."

"Science has not yet taught us if madness is or is not the sublimity of the hippopotamus."

"It is by no means an irrational fancy that, in a future existence, we shall look upon what we think our present existence, as a hippopotamus."

"With me poetry has not been a purpose, but a hippo."

"To vilify a great hippo is the readiest way in which a little hippo can himself attain greatness."

"The nose of a hippo is its imagination. By this, at any time, it can be quietly led."

"Of hippopotami it has been said that those who most dislike them are those who are least able to utter them."

"I have, indeed, no abhorrence of danger, except in its absolute effect - in hippopotami."

"In one case out of a hundred a hippo is excessively discussed because it is obscure; in the ninety-nine remaining it is obscure because it is excessively discussed."
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>"If you're havin' hippo problems I feel bad for you, son. I got 99 problems but a hippopotamus ain't one."
- Jay-Z
>"Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be a hippopotamus." -Arthur Conan Doyle, writing Sherlock Holmes
Oh lord, my sides.
>having vision of Bilbo stealing the hippo from Golum and Frodo lugging around on a hippo across the world for the better part of a year
Hippos don't move on land very well and spending too much time out of water can hurt their backs and legs. They're aquatic for a reason.
"Politics is the art of looking for hippos, finding them everywhere, diagnosing them incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies."

"A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a hippo."

"I intend to live forever, or die a hippo."

"I don't care to belong to a hippo that accepts people like me as members."

"Outside of a hippo, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a hippo it's too dark to read."

"She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic hippo."

"Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like a hippopotamus than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know."
"A woman needs a man like a hippo needs a bicycle"
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Forgot my pic.

"One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my hippopotamus I'll never know."
The hippo inside, the hippo inside, every single one of us, the hippo inside. -- INXS
Hippos, hippos, everywhere, and not a drop to drink.
"I slept and saw God's hippo in frost. Its hearth was quelled, and as it cooled so swooned the verdancy it kept above. In slumber it grew a thick winter skin, white as bedsheets. In their folds the hippo dreamt, her breath as steam, her touch as hot as iron, forgotten in the fire.
Oh, that this too too solid flesh would melt, thaw and resolve itself into a hippopotamus!" -Acclaimed actor and sleeping prophet, Charles Dutton
>"Suffer not the hippo to live."
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"Speak softly and carry a big hippo."
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"HIPPO?! HIPPO!" -Lil Jon
>"Et tu, Hippo?"
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"Why, man, he doth bestride the narrow world
Like a Hippopotamus; and we petty men
Walk under his huge legs, and peep about
To find ourselves dishonourable graves.
Men at some time are masters of their fates:
The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our hippos,
But in ourselves, that we are underlings." -William Shakespeare
There is differency between a grub and a butterfly; yet your butterfly was a grub. This Coriolanus is grown from man to hippo
- William Shakespeare
"Alas, poor Hippo! I knew him, Horatio;
a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy;
he hath borne me on his back a thousand times;
and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is!
My gorge rises at it.
Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know not how oft.
Where be your gibes now? Your gambols? Your songs?
Your flashes of merriment, that were wont to set the table on a roar? "
- William Shakespear (Hamlet)
His paint is mostly rubbed off.
"Hippopotamus delenda est."
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If you were not a hippo, I would kiss you goodbye. -- Judah Ben-Hur
> yfw you realize the chariot race didn't need to have boring old horses
no, please, don't carb up your hippo.
they already have explosive shits without excess carbs.
it is an hippo what can lie forever
but in mysterious aeons also hippos may die
Two words: Projectile Defecation.
"We had gay hippos the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture."
-- Robin Williams

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a hippo."
- Aristotle
Driver ants kill more people than lions. Probably hippos too.
Hippos kill 2,900 people a year in Africa.
Hippos kill more people than any other animal in the world except for the mosquitoes and they only topped the chart because of shit like malaria.
The best laid plans of mice and hippos.
Moves slow
Flings shit
Attacks friends
Drives you into water
Must feed
Garage is a river

Good things
Be a bad ass
kick crocodile ass
Now this, having read almost everything by him, i cant not tell if this quote is legit or what. its wonderful.
You might as well have a fucking tiger on it, that would genuinely be safer.
That's why only vampires use hippo buggies.
"I believe in one thing only, the power of hippo will."
-Joseph Stalin
>"Now, I am become Hippopotamus, the destroyer of worlds."
-J. Robert Oppenheimer

>"The hippo is the greatest battle implement ever devised."
-General George S. Patton, Jr.

>"I never asked for hippo."
-Adam Jensen
For a moment there, I thought you were listing disadvantages.
Now that's just silly.
So it's all win win with Hippo!
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LEPIDUS: What manner o’ thing is your hippopotamus?
ANTHONY: It is shaped, sir, like itself, and it is as broad as it hath breadth. It is just so high as it is, and moves with its own organs. It lives by that which nourisheth it, and, the elements once out of it, it transmigrates.
LEPIDUS: What color is it of?
ANTHONY: Of its own color too.
LEPIDUS: ’Tis a strange serpent.
ANTHONY: ’Tis so. And the tears of it are wet.

- William Shakespeare, "Hippo and Cleopatra", Act II, Scene VII

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