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Shit you're tired of seeing in games

>Any gods of "light" or "time"
>orcs or elves BUT DIFFERENT
>mono cultures
>faux feudalism
>>
studded leather armour
>>
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Contemporary western and northern european morality
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>>21283482
>Overly unique esoteric races that need the entire plot to be explored stealing time from the drama and real plot. Simply becoming a field trip for the GM to show off his "interesting" races.
>>
>>21283482

>faux feudalism

Anyone have any good examples I can amuse myself with?
>>
>orcs or elves BUT DIFFERENT
So you're tired of variations of classical races but not the races themselves?
>mono cultures
what does that even mean?
>>
How about a God of death who is actually a bit upbeat and not an uber douche?
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>>21283482
>not liking these elves
The occasional gem aside, I'm mostly with you with these.
>>
Dolphin rape caves.
Tentacle rape caves.
Tentacled dolphin rape caves.
>>
>>21283482
how does OP feel about sun gods?
>>
>>21283560
think it refers to a lazy or poor attempt at making a race new and interesting.
Monoculture means that, for example, all dwarves have the same culture
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>>21283582
Jolly Cooperation!
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>>21283482
>elves, orcs, and dwarves that serve no thematic role that couldn't be filled by humans
>fantastical player races that only serve to make the setting seem gaudy and even more mundane by making the exotic normal
>extensive magic use that somehow never sensibly integrates with the setting infrastructure
>carrying weapons everywhere, wearing armor as default outfit
>returning completely to the status quo after major events, especially ones of international significance
>having enormous events, like an undead invasion, have only a regional impact/response, and not result in neighboring lands mounting invasions/offering alliances to weakened nation
>objective morality
>deities that are objectively real and non-interventionist yet considered 'good'
>giant pauldrons, giant swords, boobplate, and other stupid equipment descriptions
>dragons that are intelligent, charming spellcasters, yet they steal cattle and gold instead of trading for it
>empires that are thousands of years old with no apparent cultural change in that time
>hundreds/thousands of years passing without technological/magical advancement
>one-dimensional culturally-homogeneous cultures
>stupid economies and stupid pricing for various goods and services
>things made 'edgy' and 'gritty' for sake of realism instead of just making them realistic
>magic systems that have no real limits on what magic can and can't do in the setting
>one nation per race, except humans, who get lots of nations and cultures
>>
>>21283582
Clearly some made up overused bullshit. Imagine being a representation of both light and time, some fucking generic tripe that is.
>>
Only time I do standard fantasy races (but different) is in non-system RPs for fun in my spare time. If it's gonna be a serious thing or a homebrew PnP, I actually put some time and effort into whatever races might exist in the world.
>>
>>21283582
Rather enjoy sun gods actually.
And I don't mind gods that have something to do with light or has it as part of their portfolio (Like Apollo) but fantasy gods of generic light and good bore me to kidney stones.
>>
>>21283590
...how do you feel about Eberron?
>>
>>21283571
Roll for anal circumference check.
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>>21283564

Equally overdone ever since Sandman.

I'd like to see more games where the gods aren't 'god of X.' Make them something tied to a region, maybe, or just terrifying free agents.
>>
>>21283564
Speaking of which, I've never seen a female death god. Not in fiction anyway, I think there's one in some of the terrestrial religions.

Also, I never understood why in so much fiction gods of death care for the bodies of the dead and why they have anything to do with necromancy. Should a god of death just be a caretaker of the souls of the dead? If anything, a god of earth is the god of necromancy.
>>
I develop a far future post-apocalyptic science fantasy setting where the Sun god was evil because it causes cancer.
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>>21283560
I believe he means how all elves seem to have the same culture as long as they are the same type of elf.
>>
>>21283596
I find it better than most D&D schlock, but not by much.
>>
Noble Savage Orcs.

Seriously. Its not "interesting" or "something different" anymore and has just taken over the "endless WAAAAAAAAAAGH" type as the standard boring Orc trope.
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>>21283609
My only foray into "orcs but different" orcs are gypsies, does that count?
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Fun.
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>>21283612
What about orcs being like the Babylonians?
>>
That's another thing!
>death gods
It has not been done well since the old mythologies died out!
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>>21283620
Hmm... in what way?
>>
Cities without any agricultural support that are built in places that no one would settle.

Yes, I'm looking at you, city in the middle of a frozen waste with no agriculture and no trade yet somehow prospering.
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>>21283571
>Tentacled dolphin rape caves
>pic is my reaction

The "You are secretly the Chosen One". It's stupid in tabletop RPG because if you make one PC the Chosen One the others will be the support cast by default, if you make all of them the Chosen Ones there is a big chance it will look lame.
>>
>>21283607
Just wondering, seems to fix or alter most of your categories - but still leaves a few glaring ones.
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>>21283603
The Raven Queen. She is awful though.
>>
>"tragic villains" done poorly because the GM thinks he knows how to show different shades of morality when all he does is come up with another dumbass reason for the baby killing mother raping village burning lich BBEG to actually be a "good guy for real guys!"

For fuck's sake, I would actually find it a welcomed relief to play a campaign with black & white morality, but of course this would obviously mean I'm just not "deep" enough for "complex" morality decisions.
>>
-"Mr. Johnson"
-"Your first mission was a test..."
-Getting stiffed on payment.
-Getting a bomb instead of payment.
-Getting underpaid.
-"And that payment is actually also a test..."
-When you decide to just shoot the fucker, suddenly, the police *care* about crime.
---

"And then (DMPC) shows up, and solves the problem for you."

"The prince of this city is (insert Storyteller's fetish HERE), and wants YOUR character to join him/her/it tonight..."
>>
>>21283620
>Our Orcs are different! They're (insert equivalent culture here)
ha ha i kill you first
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>>21283603
>I've never seen a female death god.
D&D's Raven Queen
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>>21283605
Evil sun gods have been a thing since as least the existence of Mesoamerican cultures, just saiyan'. Their sun god was literally a vampire.
>>
Everything has been done.

There's no reason to try and invent something new.

You will fail.

Every possible interpretation of every trope and every stereotype has been done before.

Everything has been written about in every possible way.

You will never create anything new that anyone with half a brain will enjoy.

Why?

Because they're already seen it before.

It is impossible to create a campaign that is both entertaining and narrative-focused.

We've seen it all before, DM.

You can't make anything interesting for us, DM.

There are a million writers out there far more skilled than you can ever dream of being but even they can't invent anything new or interesting, DM.

We're just here to have fun and roll some dice so shut the fuck up and don't even try to create an interesting story because YOU WILL FUCKING FAIL, DM.
>>
>>21283612
I'm ok with that.
My orcs are roman/gauls on a permanent viking
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>>21283624
Being the first race to create fortified settlements, elaborate agriculture and herding, create the first legislation and do the first steps in writing.
>>
>>21283620
>>21283612
'Anything but X IRL culture' is always fucking terrible and you should both kill yourselves. Making them 'noble savages' with a culture that is not one culture that is a fucking rip off of an IRL culture is light years better than that.

Fuck you both. Forever.
>>
"In my campaign, X are like Y"

Stop aping off of real cultures you fucking dolt.
>>
>>21283642
Interesting does not equal new.
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>>21283626
Fine if it's actually answered, like they mine eternal ice from the bottom frozen glaciers and sell it for megabucks.
>>
>Humans
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>>21283649
Okay, enlight us how you do it, oh great and powerful Oz.
>>
>>21283651
You find repetitive bullshit to be interesting?

You enjoy seeing the same TV show, over and over again?

I pity you.
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>>21283603

Morrigan of Irish myth, and Kali of the Hindu religion both fit the bill as destructive female Goddesses.
>>
>>21283642
>Everything has been done.
Bullshit.
>There's no reason to try and invent something new.
True, but only because 'new' doesn't mean 'good'. You should aim to be good before you aim to be original or innovative or anything like that.

"Everything has been done" is a tired fucking lie though. No, it clearly has not. New things are produced pretty much constantly.
>>
>>21283642
So what you're saying is, by dint of the number of people, the amount of thinking, and the fact that anything a DM comes up with will have been coincidentally thought of before, you hate it.

Do you hate everything? Even the dice you roll? Because the roman empire used the same polyhedral dice you're just here to roll.
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>>21283637
Well, when I said my orcs were gypsies, it was mostly because that's how other people have described them to me. They travel in caravans and are not allowed in human cities, but aside from that they're a race who lost their homeland and is starting to fall out of the Old Ways of polytheism and begin to accept other gods. They're not really gypsies, but even if I describe their whole culture, someone would go "Oh, like X?"

Oh, and htey also don't have just one culture. Plenty of them do live among other civilisations and have adopted other cultures, just like plenty of other races have. Some humans have even taken to the Old Ways and started following the caravans around, because FUCK MONOCULTURE RACES. The only reason I have you at all is because I like to draw you, you shitty orc fucks. While you're in my setting you adhere to my rules!
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>>21283631
It has a few big issues for me, though. A lightning rail instead of permanent teleportation circles. It being culturally acceptable to be equipped for battle while strolling the streets of Sharn. Idiotic pricing schemes and a total lack of economic plausibility. Magic without any true limits on what it can and can't do.

Ultimately, the biggest problem with Eberron is that it's D&D and it has to fit in to the D&D rules, which require certain profoundly stupid things in any setting that uses the ruleset.
>>
>>21283662
You can't enjoy anything that has been done before?
Then you cannot enjoy ANYTHING. you should probably kill yourself, but that's been done allready
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>>21283660
I don't say 'They're Orcs, but Scythians/Babylonians/Greeks/Romani/Vikings'. It's not fucking hard.
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>>21283603
Shiva says high. Also, the entity death in Marvel universe. And don't forget Ishtar.
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>>21283642
You're right, but you're wrong.

It's impossible to be creative, because "creativity" as we imagine it does not exist. Never have a work of fiction been created from nothing.

Everything is a Remix. It's just the ways that we mix things that are new. This is nothing bad, by the way. it's just how things work.

http://vimeo.com/14912890
>>
>>21283662
Repetition is a constant, originality is just ignorance about the source.
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>>21283590
>hundreds/thousands of years passing without technological/magical advancement
What is punctuated equilibrium?
Why are you ignorant of anthropology?
>>
>>21283626

Fucking THIS. I'm an old-school gamer, believe the best fantasy worlds have a basis in reality, and recognize that feudal agriculture required roughly 90% of the population living in farming villages to support 10% of the population living in towns. In a setting with magic and divine miracles, certain allowances can be made, but the best fantasy (IMO) is rooted in reality.
>>
>>21283669
No, I only hate naive idiot authors who think they're the next Tolkein. They're not special or unique, neither is their world, neither is their story. They should put down their pen, get a real job and forget about writing.

If you want to roll dice for a laugh and don't pretend your shit is a work of art, I'm fine with you.
>>
>>21283681
it is just a way of communicating vast ammounts of information with a few words.
This post explains the concept a bit
>>21283673
>>
>21st century bourgeoise viewpoints in a wildly different setting
>ignoring the effects of travel times, costs, and geography on regional government
>faux-gray morality
>>
>>21283693
>IMO
Yeah, emphasis this.
>>
>>21283694
>Next Tolkien
The guy who basically did a rip off of Wagnerian Nibelung saga, Arthurian cycles, Nordic myths and Judeochristian myths?
>>
>>21283704
Sure, but not very well. It's pretty questionable how much Arthur there is in Tolkien too. I mean the Arthurian cycle actually has good characters.
>>
>>21283694
Follow along with my slowly. I understand you're a cynical ass hat and being happy is anathema to you.

A DM can create a setting that everyone enjoys. It does not need to be unique or special to be interesting and enjoyable. Most DMs do not think their setting is a masterpiece worthy of song. They just use it as a framework, in which to roll dice.

Quit being so hostile, it's bad for your blood pressure.
>>
>>21283698
Metonymy, how it works?
>>
>>21283694
>Get a real job
>Implying authors don't have real jobs
>Implying GMs might not just have fun world building, and want to share their passions with their friends

"I just want to roll dice, fuck what you find fun."

I mean, I'm not going to argue that anyone who sets out and says "I'MM BE THE NEXT TOLKIEN!" even knows what that means, but still. You sir are an asshat of the highest order.
>>
>>21283709
I do tons of work worldbuilding just for my own enjoyment, but I don't slap it all towards the players in vast streams of exposition. They just see and interact with what they experience.
>>
>>21283707
Aragorn is basically Arthur fan fiction.
>>
I had an idea for a fantasy setting where orcs were no fuck giving technological geniuses who had discovered gunpowder, industrialised and decided the forests of the elves would be better used to build shit. They were also immensely decadent and used slave labour so they had more time to do alchemy and go hunting.

Humans were still an early medieval society paying Danegeld to these Orcs and also to elven river pirates. Dwarves still liked gold but were an agricultural society who felt they had a god given right to the best pastures and so were pretty much universally hated for stealing land.

The setting wasn't much more than one cluster of nations. It also had undead based on Celtic and Cornish myth who were the spirits of kings defeated in battle who haunted barrows and would wage war against other undead kings like Celtic Necrons really. They saw the living as simply stuff in the way of their endless grudge matches.
>>
>>21283723
In that he's a returning king, sure. That's about it.
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>>21283727
>I had an idea for a fantasy setting where orcs were no fuck giving technological geniuses who had discovered gunpowder, industrialised and decided the forests of the elves would be better used to build shit. They were also immensely decadent and used slave labour so they had more time to do alchemy and go hunting.
Okay, so, serious question which you probably won't like here:
>Why were these Orcs?
Like why were Orcs ever there in the first place, and why were these people specifically Orcs?

If you change stuff just for the sake of changing it, it's pointless. You seem to think your stuff is original, but I see it as the exact representation of 'Generic Fantasy Setting that's trying 'Our X are different''
>>
I'm actually bored to death of every GM ever trying to re-invent the wheel. Basically I'm tired of "non-standard" fantasy.

I just want to go back to standard heroes of good brought together by fate, or random decision over a mug of ale, to save princesses from dragons and kingdoms from Orc invasions.

I want old school knight in shining armor fantasy, where the paladin is touted as a great hero of the land, instead of looked at as "fresh meat" by some neckbeard GM who spends sleepless nights concocting some shitty plot to force him into falling.

I'm sick of grey morality. I want clear-cut, evil thing over there go kill it and come back for tons of gold when you're done adventures.

Everyone has tried so hard to subvert the old fantasy trappings that they've become so exceedingly rare they're unheard of. And I miss them dearly.
>>
>>21283715
Except we're not interested in your passions.
We don't want to hear about your fucking awful setting.
If we have to talk for NPCs for more than a minute at a time, YOU'RE DOING WRONG.

We want a game, we don't want your lackluster attempt at creating something you find interesting. Put down your wad of pages written in GCSE-level interest. Delete Microsoft Word from your computer and give us a challenge we can roll dice at, not your shitty setting.
>>
>>21283729
Indeed.
By the way, you aren't tired of people who get into sword and sorcery/fantasy trough Tolkien, or worse, the movies made by Peter Jackson?
>>
>>21283735
Not him, but I explicitly stated in my orc example that the reason they were orcs was just because when I was coming up with the setting, I wanted to draw orcs. I am a shallow man and I am not afraid to admit it.
>>
>get promised high fantasy
>oh uh I decided for the napoleonic era- again
>I'm sure your melee class will do fine, I mean it's not like everyone will have a gun!
>EVERYONE has a gun
>>
>>21283744
I hope you are not one of my players now...
>>
>>21283735
He probably used the name Orcs just so you would get a general sense of how the species looks like/acts and then tells you what is different.

Or just because he wanted.

The thing I hate most are people who think every race has to be either ORGINAL SNOWFLAEK RAEC DONOT STEEL or cookie-cutter cliché shit. Anything between is apparently shit.

No, you are shit.
>>
>>21283742
You seem to think I'm some other poster? I'm not much of a fan of Tolkien so probably shouldn't comment on him. I don't think there's anything wrong with people getting into a genre through an immensely popular depiction of that genre though (like Peter Jackson's movies).
>>
Lite fantasy settings. It's fantasy! There're dragons and shit being conjured up from nothingness! Why can't anyone accept that things can be weird and fucked up and not just a Tolkien ripoff?!
>>
>>21283737
Personally, I don't find this kind of game very satisfying. Black & white morality and 'classic fantasy world, the PCs are the heroes' just don't gel with me. One or the other.
>>
>>21283738
Ladies and gentlemen a 4e kiddie

THINKING IS HARD I WANT TO BLOODY PATH FOR 1055745d10 AND ONE SHOT THE TARRASQUE FOR PHAT LEWT
>>
>>21283737
Good for you. Personally, I barely ever touched that territory and I would never ever go there willingly. For me, that shit is just so absolutely mindlessly stupid that I could never enjoy it even at gunpoint.

It's like if someone told me to go have fun playing with wooden car toys. I couldn't do that, I'm not that retarded.
>>
>>21283756
Probably not, I guess the lure of petticoats and acting like ponces is just to irresistable for most groups to not try at least once
>>
>>21283774
>Ladies and gentlemen a 4e kiddie
Fuck off. I'm arguing with that guy and 4e is my preferred edition, go fucking kill yourself please.
>>
>>21283738
Speak for yourself you retarded shitstain.

If you want mock-up combat go play cawwadooty or some other computer game. Roleplaying games are for social interactions.
>>
>>21283778
I could have fun playing with wooden car toys.
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>>21283603
Wee Jas from 3.5 and Raven Queen from 4.0
>>
>>21283738
Talking to an NPC is roleplaying. This is a roleplaying game. I'm sorry you have such problems holding your attention when people aren't rolling dice and kicking down dungeon doors.

If you are not interested in your GM's fun, you can find another GM, because you certainly aren't his friend. He's put what he loves, his creation, out there. He wants to make a fun and interesting world for you to adventure in, and may have spent hours making shit that only his players would ever see. And you are telling him to fuck off and let you club goblins.

Well, you can fuck off back to whatever hole you came from.
>>
>>21283738
I've played 3.5, 4e and Pathfinder with different groups and they're all pretty awful.

Deal with it.
>>
>>21283780
cant be any of my players then cus they keep getting naked and act like a cartoon.
...
I rather enjoy my games most of the time.
>>
>>21283783
Guess what, roleplaying games are not for you. You're probably too stupid. Whatever the reason, the hobby does not need you. Go back to warhammer or vidya or whatever the fuck. You won't be missed.
>>
>>21283799
If he's my friend, he knows better than to try and write bullshit. I don't make friends with drama school asshats.
>>
>>21283762
I can infer from your comments you weren't a fan of Trollkien, and I am very glad to establish contact with someone who shares my lack of idolatry to that author which is certainly an endemic evil in our community.
However I am very concerned about one fact, the first contact with a genre is essential to understand the tropes which identify it. Let me explain, if you get into sword and sorcery trough Tolkien your memotype will carry the memes contained in the narration, unless you establish contact with another mediotype containing other memes related to the memeplex which constitute your idea of fantasy soon they will become parasitic memes and not symbiotic memes.
>>
>>21283778
I think your inability to have fun playing with wooden car toys says more about your shortcomings than it does about the shortcomings of those who can enjoy it.
>>
>>21283682
Shiva's a dude
>>
>>21283815
From the way you've been acting, it doesn't sound like you make friends at all.
>>
>>21283694
I just wanna make something fun for people to do.
>>
>>21283735
Because ultimately I wanted a kind of visually recognisable high fantasy setting with twists to make it my own. Like, I suppose, Mass Effect did for pulp SF - give the viewer or audience instantly understandable cues that THIS IS FANTASY/SF and then work from there.

Orc has aesthetic connotations that a fantasy fan knows. Beats saying THIS IS A GNOCK IT IS A SEVEN FOOT HUMANOID WITH TUSKS blah blah, just say "it's an Orc"

Staple fantasy races are like laser guns or giant robots - even if they're used differently to the norm their presence serves as a baseline of what to expect.
>>
>>21283813
Holy kneejerk, Batman. You need to step off the Edition War already.
>>
>>21283820
>>21283682
>Shiva
>consistent gender
What the fuck am I reading? It's like you don't even Hindu.
>>
>>21283815
"If he's my friend, he should only do things I like! Nothing he makes or does is as important as me!"

Get of your self-important fucking pedestal, you shitstain.
>>
>>21283817
I would continue talking to you but I'm sorry, you talk like a fag and your shit's all retarded.
>>
>>21283824
Just not people like you. Must be why it's so hard for you to understand.
>>
>>21283819
Only if those who can enjoy it are in their pre-teens.

Otherwise, no.
>>
>>21283831
The civilization you have written about is pretty much just humans though.
>>
Well, this thread quickly went to shit.
>>
>>21283682

I think you're thinking of Kali, not Shiva. Just, y'know, as a thought, considering Shiva's a father and all.
>>
>>21283835
This has nothing to do with edition wars. This has to do with having the wrong kind of retarded shitstains in the hobby no matter the system or edition of a system they play.
>>
>>21283858

>first word of the thread is shit

AH, I understood the joooke!
>>
>>21283836
Shiva is a dude. You don't know as much about this as you think you do. You're thinking of Parvati, who is sometimes given the same name.
>>
>>21283603
Greyhawk's Wee Jas.
>>
>>21283862
>I'm arguing against this guy and I play 4e
>STOP PLAYING GET OUT OF MY HOBBY NOW
No, it's an edition war. Fuck you.
>>
>>21283843
Don't be childish, sure you can do better than using ad hominems.
>>
>>21283820
Huh. I stand corrected. Well, at least two for three isn't so bad. I'm probably getting him confused with that one snake lady from Buddhism or something.
>>
>>21283874
You betrayed Shiva!
>>
>>21283874
>snake lady from Buddhism
Uh, what?
>>
>>21283871
I never said I play 4e.
In fact I never once even mentioned anything that can be remotely connected to 4e in particular.

What's wrong with you?
>>
>>21283875
YOU BETRAYED DA LAAAAWH!
>>
>>21283813

You're a fucking retard. Let me break down what the person you just insulted was saying:

>He agrees that the "no story, all fightan" guy is an asshat
>You and he are on the same side of this argument.
>You insulted his preferred system as a way to say that people who prefer it lack credibility
>He gets pissed because he was on your side and you insulted him
>You completely miss the point and think you're still arguing with the first guy, when you're just bashing someone who was originally on your side

tl;dr - you're a faggot
>>
>>21283872
It's not an ad hominem, exactly? I read your post there, and it made me decide you're a horrible idiot fuck of a person. So I don't want to talk to you anymore, 'kay? You get it?

>I can infer from your comments you weren't a fan of Trollkien, and I am very glad to establish contact with someone who shares my lack of idolatry to that author which is certainly an endemic evil in our community.
Stop speaking and typing like this, if you want to come off differently. This is so fucking pseudo and pretentiously intellectual it causes me physical pain.
>>
>>21283881
This response: >>21283813 to my post here:>>21283783
>>
>>21283865
Thanks broseph. Admittedly, Hinduism and Buddhism hell, most religions of the asian continent aren't my strong point.
>>
>>21283879
>snake lady from Buddhism
Naga. Not strictly from Buddhism though. I mean it's original Vedic, and Buddhism comes from Vedic roots (Guatama and all that).
>>
>>21283890
Then most religions in general aren't your strong point, since Christianity, Judaism, and Islam all started in the Middle East, which is part of Asia, not Europe.
>>
>>21283879
Give me a sec, I'll try to see if I can figure out what the fuck I am talking about too.
>>
>>21283889
I quoted the wrong post. It happens.

And I was not the one that mentioned "4e kiddies".
>>
>>21283903
Not at all from Buddhism. It's Hindu, and only appears in the branches of Buddhism that have be re-appropriated by the Hindu culture.
>>
>>21283886
What, you are one of those anti-academics guys who usually try to troll /lit/?
>>
>>21283922
...no, I'm not anti-academic. I just think you sound like a pretentious, desperate cunt.
>>
>>21283920
So it appears in Buddhism, then? And it's originally Hindu? Because that's what I was saying?
>>
>>21283925
And you seem to overreact easily.
>>
>>21283817
Are you Touhoufag? You write like him.
>>
>>21283910
Yup. I was talking out of my ass. Somehow I confused a Nāga with a goddess.
>>
>>21283929
I was clarifying that it's not just 'not strictly' from Buddhism, it's not even remotely Buddhist. You can't actually call the branches of Buddhism that have been re-appropriated by Hindu 'Buddhism' since they only thing they have in common with it is labeling the Buddha a deity and the being otherwise 100% Hindu. It would be like calling Islam Christianity because it features Jesus of Nazareth as a prophet.
>>
>>21283922
Not the guy you're talking to, but I agree with him. You're just being pointlessly wordy. There is no need to use half the words you did. You're just being a raging autistic who has to show everyone how smart he is
>>
>>21283943
He doesn't write like Touhoufag. Touhoufag just writes very formally. Espagnoll is extremely eager to project himself as being intelligent, because he considers himself to be very intelligent. This is why his posts read like glimpses into the Autism Dimension.
>>
>>21283907
You're breaking my balls here dude.
>>
>>21283943
Wut?
No, I am not him, I had been around since he posted here, thought.
>>
>>21283953
Fair enough.
>>
>>21283955
In fact I am trying to show how tired I am of these poor trolling threads.
From my point of view OP is a little bitch which is making us rage with an stupid childish strategy:
>Why you mathematicians still using arabic number?
>You couldn't use roman numbers again or develop new ones?
>>
>>21283981
Thanks for the /sci/ thread idea.
>>
>>21283590
>returning completely to the status quo after major events, especially ones of international significance
Ancient Egypt
>having enormous events, like an undead invasion, have only a regional impact/response, and not result in neighboring lands mounting invasions/offering alliances to weakened nation
Ancient Egypt
>empires that are thousands of years old with no apparent cultural change in that time
Ancient Egypt (except a small period of Akhenaten)
>hundreds/thousands of years passing without technological/magical advancement
Ancient Egypt (they once acquired some tech from the hyksos invaders, but that's it)
>one-dimensional culturally-homogeneous cultures
Ancient Egypt
>stupid economies and stupid pricing for various goods and services
Ancient Egypt (no money, no slavery, state property only, final destination)

And furthermore, all their gods are furries (except one who is a zombie who fucks his own sisters). And their royal family practices incest. THAT FUCKING DM.
>>
>>21283560
You ever watch Star Trek? Did you ever notice how every race encountered could be summed up as Humans, but they're entire culture does X?

that's a mono culture, or in other words, a planet of hats.
>>
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>>21283986
You made this dorf cry with your evil.
>>
>>21283987
It's pretty clear Egypt is from a lazy fantasy campaign. The DM couldn't control his players once they managed to poison the DMPC, and Egypt was taken over by one of them when they were all backstabbing each other.
>>
>>21283987
There was nothing to make this post to make me laugh and yet it amused me how well it worked. Good job sir.
>>
>>21283981
One of the difficulties I see with your writing style, Espag, is that it seems to hold the sort of awkwardness you would expect from someone who is attempting to sound intelligent, but doesn't actually know how to structure sentences that contain the words they are using.

"In fact I am trying to..." sounds oddly stilted. This is largely due to the fact that you seem to be using "in fact" in the same manner as "actually". The effect this produces is is a sort of... awkward mix of the separate statements "I am, in fact..." and "I am trying to...". You would have been better off simply dropping the "In fact" altogether.
>>
>>21284019
I suffer a serious case of Broken English.
Just think about American public education Spanish classes are and reverse it to English.
>>
>>21284019
He could have just said:

'I got that you don't like Tolkien, I'm glad about that because I don't like him either. I think he's really overrated. The problem with people getting into fantasy through Tolkien is he colours all their perceptions of fantasy and it kind of chokes the genre'.

>>21284027
Well, if it's your second language you'd naturally be more formal. But still, your phrasing comes across as really try-hard.
>>
>>21284019

Maybe it's because English isn't his mother tongue, you know.
>>
>>21283688

Because Anthropology and it's sister study Sociology are directly related to the study and observation of human cultures and their people.

Aka, you gotta understand people.

People.

Asking dudes that go on /tg/ or any other board to understand people.
>>
>>21284027
Well then, take the language advice in stride. I understand that foreign languages are often learned in a more formal manner, and it can come across as strange to native speakers when all else seems good. On the Internet, it can be difficult to tell who is making efforts in a second language, and who is simply struggling with their own.
>>
>>21283668
>"Everything has been done" is a tired fucking lie though. No, it clearly has not. New things are produced pretty much constantly.

Mind explaining some of these "new things" that are being produced "pretty much constantly?"
>>
>>21284034
Yes, it serves me well.
However it happens to a lot of people in academics, I had professors and doctors during my Humanities career in the UAB for who Spanish was a second or even a third language. They try to keep the academical tone of their discourse but their poor grasp of the idiom makes them sound like pseudo intellectuals or even retarded.
Is not their fault, is the fault of the alumni which domain of english is so crappy they can't take classes in said language.
>>
>>21284061
Please, sir. We're talking about Shiva, foreign languages, and ancient Egypt now.
>>
>>21284072
SHIVA TEACHING THE EGYPTIANS ENGLISH
>>
>>21284061
Daily, things that have never happened before will happen in the world. If you want 'the new' you should look to real world events and journalism over fiction. Shit, Tom Wolfe and Hunter S. Thompson hit upon this decades ago.
>>
>>21284076
A NEW CLASSIC IS BORN!
>>
>>21284125
STARRING NICOLAS CAGE
>>
>>21283815
>>21283642
>>21283694
>>21283738

You. You are the worst kind of person to inhabit this fucking board. You act as if you're the only fucking one who matters, ever. The DM shouldn't even fucking attempt to write a compelling story on his own fucking time because you don't want to hear anything more than "go kill x he bad". Never mind your OTHER players who might actually want to roleplay in a goddamn roleplaying game. You, the guy fucking bashing and badmouthing a DM, who is sacrificing his free time and effort to let you have fun. Can't you fucking UNDERSTAND that you're an insufferable prick? It's true originality as we know it doesn't exist, you can't create Y because Y is made already. But that doesn't mean the fucking GM could blend X and Y to make something new and interesting. Just because YOU can't fucking pay attention to someone talking in between your rolling of dice to punch a goblin doesn't mean the other people you're playing can't.
cont'd
>>
>>21284134
Every fucking time you moan or groan or ask to roll for something trivial just because you can't STAND that guy telling you why he needs the technicolor orb and WHY it's in the fucking dungeon. Your DM doesn't think he's the new tolkein or anything, he thinks he made something to flesh out and better help you play your goddamn game. And if you say "But that's not how I want to play my goddamn game" then you're in the wrong fucking hobby. You're trying to play a goddamn video game with skippable cutscenes in a pen and paper atmosphere.
>>>/v/
I'm not posting that to like those wordless "go to /b/" posts, I'm posting that because that is place is where you'll find the shit you're looking for. Pure interaction with an optional story so you don't have to fucking know where the piece of shit dungeon is or why you need to go to it, you just need to follow the goddamn compass and kill whatever's in your way. That's what you're looking for. not a PnP RPG. And if you're saying there aren't games that are fleshed out as /tg/ games then you're right. But you have two fucking options right now. Either A stop being such a whiny little asshole, and start to enjoy the fucking hobby. Or B, play some fucking video games and wait until better ones come out.
>>
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>>21284130
>>
>>21283987

Conclusion: real life has everything you need for a setting. Not that'd you'd get rid of clichés that way...
>>
>>21284087

That's just squirming out of the answer, I'm asking about literature.

Besides, nothing that is happening now is particularly new. In fact, the only really new concept is space travel (already became a "thing" in the 19th century but the core concept of travel to unknown lands was the same) and nuclear warfare (falls under "powers Humanity shouldn't have" and a more supercharged "devastating warfare.")
>>
Upbeat psychopomps.

We get it, you read Sandman. Now give me back Charon.
>>
>>21284156
I wasn't answering about literature, so I'm sorry but I don't see it as squirming out of the answer. If you wanted only the context of literature you should have specified.

>Besides, nothing that is happening now is particularly new. In fact, the only really new concept is space travel (already became a "thing" in the 19th century but the core concept of travel to unknown lands was the same) and nuclear warfare (falls under "powers Humanity shouldn't have" and a more supercharged "devastating warfare.")
Live a little, anon.
>>
>setting is faux-Europe
>human latest advancements are stuff that their allies the dwarves have had for centuries
>supposedly gritty and down-to-earth yet the campaign is expected to go epic at some point
>orcs are savage barbarians since ever and have remained like that despite all the change around them
>almost all adversaries can be traced back to the influence of a single world-threatening power
>those that aren't are unusable or bland
>inserting any device of your own into the setting is bound to break canon

...I guess I'm just sick of GMing Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay for my group.
>>
>>21284156
In fact space travel fiction could be found in earlier time periods:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/True_History
>>
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>>21284161
Why not both at the same time?
>>
-allighnments.
-if allighnments can not be avoided: races with fixed allighnments
-everytime when the orcs/goblins/dark things from the south/monsters from under your bed invade, and the reason for is BEING EVUL. i like my antagonists with a little more depth, makes moral decisions much mor fun.
why do the orcs invade your country? because poor sobs from your country traveled in their teritory to get some decent wood, just that the sorry asses of some town(and the ass of the guy who pays you) is warm during winter for half the price it used to be. well, it also destroyed their hunting ground, driving the orcish society into famine and turmoil and, led by radical elements, into a crusade against your country but hey, now be the good guy and go slaughter that tribe.
>>
>>21284177

Hades isn't a psychopomp.
>>
>players creating characters to beat Call of Cthulhu

I swear, this is Henderson's legacy. His final post-mortem trolling to all CoC Keepers. It used to be that I had to deal only with characters with obscure supplement rules allowing 100% martial arts or somesuch. Now I have to read novels worth of backstories before I even get to start the game.
>>
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>big tits
>moe
>stupid sexy stuff
>>
>>21284167
>>almost all adversaries can be traced back to the influence of a single world-threatening power

See now, that's one of the things I like about Warhammer, there's a single coherent reason for everything fucked in the world. It's a lot more compelling than the standard D&D setting with a thousand random god-demon-superdragons that want to end the world just because.
>>
>>21284161
I once played a cheerful narcoleptic Demon Summoner.

People kept being surprised when I did evil things. Just because you summon demons and bind them to your will doesn't mean you have to be so DREARY all the time, does it?

I can't work with all this gloom!
>>
>>21284193
'Was talking about personality, smartass.

>>21284191
>allighnments
>>
Necromancers, especially the kind that are all about making robots out of corpses.
>>
>>21284206

See, stuff like this. Subverting cliches just for the sake of it is almost a cliche on it's own now.

Hell, a psychopomp being a dreary old man would be WELCOME by this point.
>>
>>21284215
Eh. It was fun, so sue me. I'd much rather play an upbeat character than brood in the corner all session erry session because I chose to have dark powers.
>>
>>21284161
Psychopomps are rarely grim.

Freyja, Odin, and the Valkyries aren't, neither is Hathor, the Guédés,.or Baron Samedi,
>>
>>21284205
I can certainly see why you find that compelling, but when you have a campaign going on for a few years, it becomes impossibly boring, especially when you're trying to create an intrigue and Chaos is a given, if not as the final boss then as an important player anyway.
>>
>>21284206
I applaud anyone playing an evil character who isn't a cackling jackass all the time, but what has narcolepsy got to do with it?
>>
>>21284231
...I'm not actually sure.
>>
>>21284215

At least subverting the cliche in such a "Look, I'm subverting it in such a wacky way!"

It worked for Gaiman because it fit in with the larger universe he created, and Death was never wacky-happy, she was supposed to be legitimately loving and glad to see you come to a deserved rest. Other writers aping the surface elements without understanding the reason are the worst.

If you've got to subvert the psychopomp thing I'd like to see him as a harried salaryman. He's going to do the best job he can, but he's very busy and in the long run you don't merit much more than professional courtesy.
>>
>>21284248
Pratchett?
>>
Ctfuckinghulhu.

Come on guys, There are HUNDREDS of gods in the mythos, most more interesting than Cthulhu. Where's my Hastur? Where's my Atlach-Nacha?

Then again, it's to be expected, now that Cthulhu is a "nerd culture" thing now.
>>
>>21284252
oh yeah, forgot about him..
>>
>>21284248
MANNY!
>>
>>21284248
Or as a really grim, morbid and depressing individual who tries to tell (really bad) jokes and crack wise because that's what marketing says is popular these days.
>>
>>21284275
"That was a pune, or play on words."
>>
>>21284275
Oh, I know! A big brute that comes running from the horizon to chop you to bits, yelling "STOP RUNNING YOU GIANT FAGGOT".
>>
A death who's basically always willing to bargain would be pretty fun as well.
>>
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>>21284317

I'd respect that.

>old man dying peacefully in his bed, surrounded by loved ones, holding his daughter's hand
>over her shoulder, as his life fades away, he can see the reaper
>TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH, PENCILDICK. GET IN THE BAG. GET IN THE FUCKING BODYBAG.
>>
>>21284317

Or a fangirl/fanboy of the living, as some form of reverse overly morbid goth, who asks the recently dead about the most ridiculously mundane shit as if it's the most exciting thing that can happen to a person.

"So you take the little scoop- that is, the spoon- and use it to mix the pre-boiled cow's milk and the rings of wheat, sugar, and random dyes and then put it in your face? God, I love hearing about eating. Tell me about brushing your teeth again, morning rituals are my favorites."
>>
>>21284334
>>21284317
As soon as you die you wake up on a racetrack. And you'd better fucking start running. Death gets to eat the souls he catches.
>>
>>21284334

A pointlessly antagonistic psychopomp would be amazing.

>HA HA, YOU DIED, NOW HURRY THE FUCK UP I HAVE BETTER SHIT TO BE DOING THAN HERDING YOU AROUND FUCKKNUCKLE
>>
>YOU UNDERSTAND YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DODGE THE SWORD, RIGHT ASSHOLE? GET IN THE BAG.
>>
>>21284156
>>21284156
Touch screen smartphones are a new thing.
E-books are a relatively new thing

As for literature:
For the medium? E-book readers and E-books
Books in general?
There hasn't been many books about osama bin laden's death until recently, or michael jacksons, or books about any major thing in the past decade. As for fiction you say? Well go into a fucking bookstore and look. I'm not your goddamn new-book finder.

My current group is playing a mongtrav campaign and it's basically borderlands right down the a goddamn annoying robot. But I don't give a fuck. I want to know about the mechanic leader with a beard shaped like balls. I want to go and find out /why/ we got attacked by those people last session and I want to know what that fucking pillar to the south is. All of our group knows that it isn't original or new. But we enjoy it and want to learn more about it.

tl;dr shit doesn't have to be completely 1000% brand new and original for people to enjoy and want to know about it.
>>
>OH BOO HOO, "WAHH WAHH, I NEVER GOT TO SEE MY SON BEFORE I DIED IN CHILDBIRTH". NEWSFLASH LADY, HE WAS UGLY AND LIVES IN AN ORPHANAGE NOW. NOW SHUT YER YAP AND GO IN THE DAMN BAG!
>>
>DID YOU SEE THAT CAR HIT YOU? THAT WAS PURE FUCKING OWNAGE. YOUR TORSO GOT OWWWWWWNED.
>GET IN THE BAG, ASSHOLE, YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE ME LATE FOR A HORSE KICKING SOME MOTHERFUCKER TO DEATH.
>>
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Our GM at the moment decided to simply roll 1d6 for the gods. We got a 6. We Rejoiced at our new God of Truth. We
>>
>>21283547
Your god died from a serpent bite, my allegedly dead god came back to life and then will bring a whole army to vanquish evil once and for all while you and your bros are wiped out by stupid little pansy monsters?
>>
>"IS MY SISTER OKAY?" WELL, I DON'T SEE HER IN THE FUCKING BAG, SO SHE MUST BE. ANYWAY, YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU DIE? THE BAG. THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS. GET IN THE FUCKING BAG YOU MOTHERFUCKER!
>>
>HA HA HA YOU DIED OF SYPHILIS LIKE A FUCKING BITCH. YOU DIED OF HAVING A SHITTY DICK.
>YOU AND YOUR AWFUL DICK GET IN THE BAG.
>>
>"PFFFT HAHAHAHA NICE GOING FUCKNUTS! NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE A GUY ACCIDENTALLY KILL HIMSELF WITH A FUCKING GARDEN HOSE BUT IT TURNS OUT THAT YOU'RE JUST DUMB ENOUGH TO MANAGE IT. GET IN THE FUCKING BAG."
>>
>WHAT DO YOU MEAN "WHAT'S IN THE BAG?". MY COCK AND BALLS IS WHAT'S IN THE BAG. NOW GO GET YOUR HEAD, STOP ASKING QUESTIONS, AND CRAWL FUCKING IN
>>
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We Then Rolled a 1 for our God of Death
The room fell silent when he flipped that card
>>
>GET IN THE FUCKING BAG

And thus, the thread was saved.
>>
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>the bag is just a garbage bag
>>
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>>21284140
>>
>>21284419

It must be a huge garbage bag, if it has everyone that has ever lived and died.
>>
>>21284426
Maybe he has a trash compactor. Or maybe the afterlife is just a landfill.
>>
>>21284426
Maybe the bag is a metaphysical concept.

Nah, it's like a bottomless pit.
>>
>>21284426

>NORMAL SIZED MAGIC GARBAGE BAG. I JUST SQUISH PEOPLE IN THERE REAL GOOD
>YOU GONNA ASK QUESTIONS LIKE A BITCH OR YOU GONNA GO IN THE BAG? HINT: EVERYONE GOES IN THE FUCKING BAG
>>
>>21284435

Could be a heaven/hell style-thing: the unworthy get shoved in a trash compactor, while the righteous get to go to the afterlife and laugh at all of the poor fuckers that got mulched.

Anyone who's truly vindictive gets to become a death collector as well.
>>
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>>21284443
>>
>>21284215
But, isn't that just..?
>>
>>21284450

>CLOSE
>NOW COME WITH ME
>AND YOU'LL SEE
>A WORLD OF PURE IMAGINATION
>IN THE FUCKING BAG
>>
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>>21284506

I just read it in Gene Wilder's voice, but SCREAMING IT.
>>
>>21284380
No no, our god *will* die to a serpent bite.
He allows us to use prescience.
>>
>>21284380
>doesn't know about ragnarok
Stay beta, krisjans
>>
>>21284339
Death's carhorn is the General Lee honk.
>>
>elves are a dying race
>dwarves are a dying race
>dragons are a dying race
>humans control most of the world despite not being particularly good at anything
>halflings are comic relief
>gnomes are tinkerers/inventors
>lizardmen are barbarians
>orcs/goblins/kobolds attack everyone else and are stereotypical bad guys
>in the entire fucking kingdom, they have no regular police/military force capable of hunting bandits and instead rely on a group of adventurers to do it
>undead are always evil and either want to kill everyone or conquer the world then kill everyone
>There's always a underwater dwelling race that is evil and hijacks ships for the lulz
>avatar of an evil god is trying to conquer the world, all the good gods sit back and watch
>incredibly powerful demon has been freed, everyone sits back and watches as the party saves the day
>the party starts in a tavern...
>the party has been captured and thrown into a jail cell from which they must escape, retrieve their equipment, and fight their way out of the enemy base
>>
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>>21284506
...You know what? NO. YOU GET IN THE FUCKING BAG, DEATH, YOU'RE DEAD, AND YOU'RE NOT IN THE BAG - SO GUESS WHAT MOTHERFUCKER, IT'S BAG TIME, GET IN THAT SHIT. THAT'S RIGHT, GEEEET IIIIN THEEE BAAAAAG YOU PISSANT.
>>
>one-handed weapons that are to big for combat

A battle axe is smaller than a woodcutter axe!
>>
>>21283650

But real cultures are cool and usually have more depth than what a GM can make up in his basement.
And if the GM does make up a culture with that depth all on his own, 90% of all GMs are going to want to give it some spotlight because they dedicated weeks/months into fucking making it.

Half of being able to GM (at least, GM flexibly) is to be able to borrow and adjust things and make them work. There's nothing original under the sun anyway.
>>
>GET IN THE BAG

best death god ever
>>
>>21284552
Is Death dead? Was it ever alive? Isn't it more of an abstract? It it's neither alive nor dead it shouldn't get in the bag now, should it? Really friend, you should probably get in the bag now.
>>
>any sentient fantasy races at all
Just look at real life cultures, shit's much more complex than your usual Tolkien crap.
>>
>>21284547

A monster truck with the General Lee horn.
>>
>ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS GETTING IN THE FUCKING BAG
>>
>>21284552
WOW, I'M SORRY, THAT ALMOST BORED ME TO DEATH. ALMOST. BUT YOU ARE DEAD, AND IF YOU HAD TO LISTEN TO YOURSELF TALK YOUR ENTIRE LIFE I'M SURPRISED IT DIDN'T HAPPEN SOONER. NOW GET IN THE BAG.
>>
>>21284572

>"Is Death dead? Was it ever alive? Isn't it more of an abstract? It it's neither al-"
>UP THE SHUT FUCK. BAG.
>>
>>21284589
A monster carriage, with monster horses.
>>
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>>21284552

>AT LONG LAST, AFTER UNKNOWN AEONS, A BROTHER SOUL
>YOU SHALL TASTE THE MEREST PORTION OF MY POWER AND CARRY THAT ASPECT THROUGH THE LAND YOUR REMAINING DAYS, UNTIL SUCH TIME AS I RETURN TO TAKE YOU
>FIND DEAD MOTHERFUCKERS AND STUFF THEM IN THIS PLASTIC BAG FROM KROGER'S
>>
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wwaaaaaa!! wwaaaaaa!!
i dont like anything out of the ordinary and when it is ordinary i dont like that either
wwaaaaaa!!
>>
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>>21284572
NO, THERE ISN'T ANY OF THIS INBETWEEN BULLSHIT, BECAUSE IF THE ORAL DIARRHEA YOU'RE SPEWING AT ME IS TRUE, THEN I'M INBETWEEN TOO, AND THEREFORE, DO NOT NEED TO GET IN THE FUCKING BAG. SO GET IN THE BAG.

>>21284594
>>21284598
>>21284599
NO, NO. IT'S YOUR TURN IN THE BAG YOU BONY SACK OF DISEASED VAGINAS, GET IN.
>>
>>21284583
But Tolkiens world was never suppose to be more then a mythological place. It's the sperg-knights that wants to justify why they would work un reality.
>>
Stock fantasy races. Especially those elves and dwarves. Main reason I wouldn't support Eternity.

Best campaign I ever played in was set in the world from the Samurai Jack episode Jack and the Flying Prince and Princess.
Second best was set in the world of Redwall. (complete with FEASTS)
>>
>>21284612
I like standard issue stuff.
>>
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>>21284611
I SAI - Oh, shit, really? Cool. Time to stuff motherfuckers in the bag.
>>
You know what would be even better than a psychopomp who went around yelling at the recent dead to get in the bag? Another psychopomp yelling at the first one to get in a bag. And then it continues to infinity until the entire afterlife is just one big mess of people yelling at each other to get in their bag.
>>
>It is done
>WELL DUH, NOW GET IN THE FUCKING BAG, ALL OF YA
>>
>"GOD DAMN IT RALPH GET IN THE FUCKING BAG!"
>"no"
>>
>>21284669
You know, Death is actually a pretty good guy - I mean, he does scream at the top of his lungs ALL THE TIME, yeah - but he doesn't scream about the bag simply because he enjoys it. Alright, that's not explicitly true either, he does enjoy it to a degree - WHAT I MEAN IS!

The bag is his way of helping people accept their untimely coming. He has never forced someone in the bag, they always go in on their own accord. Well, atleast those of us who don't start screaming back and become collectors ourselves.
>>
>>21284695
>YOU DONE? GOOD, NOW GET IN THE FUCKING BAG
>>
>Dungeon spelunking for treasure.

>Greedy adventurers

>Senseless dungeon ecosystem

>LOL U DIE NO CHECK (vid. Gygaxian dickery)

>Technology is non-magical

>Crappy dark ages

>"Hi! I'm GMPC, I'll be your guide"
>>
>>21284695
I'm seeing it more as a reminder of its brutal and injust nature.

You will die one day, without explanation, will assholes continue to live and be born every minute. What're you gonna do about it, sucker?
>>
>bitch thread turns into thread about death bags
Wow, I never got this sort of civility back on /co/.
>>
>DYING SURROUNDED BY YOUR FAMILY, HUH? CUTE. NONE OF THOSE KIDS ARE YOURS BY THE WAY - NOW, IN THE BAG!
>>
>>21283858
Fun fact: This post was the only one to have the word "quickly" in it besides this one.

Sage for entirely irrelevant non-sequitur.
>>
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You're welcome
>>
Bags of holding are patterned off the death-bag and slowly increase the entropy of the universe.
>>
Where does one go after getting in the bag? Does one simply stay in the bag? Does one get taken away to the next life? I'd like to think everyone just stays in the bag until the end of time just because there was nowhere else to keep the dead.
>>
>>21284822

That's a mystery beyond our ken.

>>21284695

>implying he's not yelling this while grabbing you by the scruff of the neck and shoving you in head-first
>>
>>21284822
You'll have plenty of time to think about that when you're in the bag.
>>
>>21284848
Or dropping you in with a power suplex. Though actually he probably saves that for really solemn, emotional deaths.
>>
>>21284822
OH LOOK, MR QUESTIONS. "WHERE DO THE PEOPLE GO AFTER THEY GO IN THE BAG?" "IS THERE AN ACTUAL AFTERLIFE IN THE BAG?" YOU THINK YOU'RE THE FIRST FUCKING RETARD TO THINK OF THIS? HINT: YOU'RE NOT. YOU'RE ALSO NOT THE ONLY RETARD THAT I NEED TO FUCKING PICK UP RIGHT THIS FUCKING NANOSECOND SO HOW ABOUT YOU SHUT THE CUNT UP AND GET IN THE FUCKING BAG.
>>
>>21284849
I guess. But wouldn't it be hilarious if the reason for people being put in bags was just to not have dead people running around? Just to keep track of them. Kinda like kids being put in the play section in IKEA.
>>
>>21284822
Some cultures believe that within the bag, your deeds are tallied and if you come off favorably then you remain in paradise for all eternity.

Others believe that you eventually fall out of a small hole in the bag and are reincarnated as some other form of life based on your worth in your previous one.

Others believe the bag doesn't really exist and it is just a societal construct to make us relax about our inevitable end.

All of these opinions have equal merit and support but no matter what you believe, YOU STILL HAVE TO GET IN THE FUCKING BAG.
>>
>>21283953
Jesus all the problems THAT would solve.
>>
>>21284897

I like the second one. Maybe the reason Death is shouting all the time is that he's trying to fill the bag, but never can because of that fucking hole.
>>
>>21284880
Is the bag soundproof or will you be bothered if I sing "Friday" by Rebecca Black for the rest of eternity or however long I'll be in the bag? That song is catchy.
>>
>>21284908
THE REASON I'M SHOUTING ALL THE TIME IS BECAUSE YOU'RE STILL NOT GETTING IN THE FUCKING BAG.
>>
>>21284915
"you got a foot in the bag now" is a common term for half-dead or near death
>>
>>21284915

Have you tried being nicer? They tell me sugar catches more flies than vinegar.
>>
>>21284913
Of course it's soundproof, how's Death supposed to stand all the dead people screaming in the bag?
>>
>>21284908
So, hypothetically in the second scenario we might very well be living in a universe inside a bag, inside a bag, inside a bag, with that chain potentially stretching out to infinity? Christopher Nolan is gonna freak when he gets put in that bag.
>>
>"MUST BE SOME KIND OF TEST?" UH. YEAH BUDDY. YOU GOT IT EXACTLY. JUST GET IN THE BAG AND ALL WILL BE REVEALED.

>THIS ISN'T WHAT YOU WERE PROMISED? YOU WANT TO MAKE A COMPLAINT. SURE, JUST STEP INTO MY OFFICE - AND BY OFFICE, I MEAN THE FUCKING BAG.
>>
>>21284936
It's a pleasant sound to him.
>>
I hate it when everybody is gigantic assholes because "realism".
>>
This will happen to you when you die.
>>
>>21284936
Does he have ears to begin with?
>>
>>21284931
I DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT FLIES, THEY GET AN ENTIRELY SEPARATE BAG. WHO THE FUCK SAYS YOU CATCH MORE FLIES WITH SUGAR? NOONE CATCHES MORE ANYTHING THAN ME, I AM THE CATCHER, I HAVE CAUGHT EVERYONE AND THAT INCLUDES YOU! GET IN THE FUCKING BAG.
>>
Imagine if there's only one psychopomp.
Just one being who has to deal with everyone and everything that is dead.

Perhaps, millenias ago, he was still gently ushering the death to their peaceful land, welcoming them gently.

But now, he can't be fucked. He has a thousand people to collect right at this second and another thousand the next second. And you're not even counting stuff like the animals that he has to pick up in his way. You think he has time for anything more than, "Well fucking done, that was smart wasn't it? Now get in the bag."
>>
>>21284938

I think that'd only happen if we were reincarnated inside the bag, and then the version of Death in the bag put us in his bag, where we would be reincarnated in his version of bag world.

The second version sounded more like we'd fall out of the bag, then reincarnate in the regular world. Then Death would swear at us for refusing to stay in the fucking bag.
>>
>>21284964
OH LOOK, IT'S *THIS ASSHOLE* AGAIN
>>
>>21284943
>JUST STEP INTO MY OFFICE- AND I MEAN BY MY OFFICE, THE FUCKING BAG.
Fucking hilarious.
>>
>>21284938
>yfw death is collecting everything for a big crunch to start the entire universe all over again.
>>
>>21284964
Just how would one get around to escaping the bag? Is there like a hole in it that you can fall out through?
>>
>>21284988
>escaping the bag
Dude, it's an infinite bag filled with nothing. WHEN YOU GET "IN" THE BAG YOU CAN'T GET "OUT" OF THE BAG!
>>
>>21284988
YOU CAN FIND OUT, WHEN YOU'RE IN THE FUCKING BAG.
>>
I'm just imagining a middle aged guy with a face like he just got stung by a wasp and a bit of a scruffy beard. Dresses in the casual clothes of the lower class of whatever era it is and is always carrying some sort of bag - which also varies on the era.

He's not Death, he's not an angel, he's not Chiron, he's just a guy who is pissed off with the fact that you're wasting his damn time.
>>
>>21284896
I like this idea. There's really nowhere to go when you die so Death just goes around shoving people in his bag to keep the place tidy. Then somebody comes to shove him in a bag and so on.
>>
>Anyone using "but I'm just roleplaying my character" as an excuse to be a dickwad in game.

Campaign cohesion is more important than your dreams to play someone with chronic backstabbing disorder
>>
>>21284988

If you track the quotes back up, that seems to be the case. I guess souls just are sort of pushed out the hole as Death tries to cram more people into the bag.
>>
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>>21283482
>Any gods of "light" or "time"

The fuck? These aren't all that common, you know.
>>
>>21285005
How do you know unless you've been there? How did you escape?!
>>
>>21285025
Oh come on.
EVERY 2bit gm throw a timegod into their setting and think it is cool
>>
>>21284987
Does the Big Crunch involve smacking the bag against a wall a couple of times and emptying it out into a bin?
>>
>>21285024
He should really get that fixed. I could probably sew it up for him if he asked me to.
>>
>>21285029
HE DIDN'T THERE ARE COMPUTERS IN THE BAG, FUCK IT, THERE'S CANDY AND KITTENS IN THE BAG, COME ONE, COME ALL, STEP UP AND GET IN THE FUCKING BAG.
>>
>>21285036
He would, but he never gets a break from shoving all the dead people into bags.
>>
>>21285036
And you should really get in the fucking bag.
>>
>>21285019
To be honest I'm more inclined towards some twenty foot tall ugly undead-looking terrifying motherfucker with a garbage bag in one hand.
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>actually getting in the bag

Stay sheep my friends. You know he can't force you, right?
>>
>>21285036
But... but that's how reincarnation works.

If Death ever actually gave enough of a shit to repair the hole, no one would be reborn again! Everything would die!

So that's we keep him busy, every second of every minute of every hour of every day. Can't let him patch that hole up.
>>
>>21285039
The bag has Wi-Fi? How fast is the connection speed? Can I bring my stationary computer or is it better if I bring a laptop.
>>
>>21285048
SAYS YOU, BAGFACE.
>>
>>21285048
>implying he won't german suplex your ass into the bag
>>
>>21285062
ALL WILL BE MADE CLEAR IN THE BAG.
>>
>>21285048
You little shit, everyone gets fucking sick of limbo. You want to stay here as nothing? as no one? Feel free. I've got one other million idiots who needs to get in the bag. Good luck getting my attention when you want to get in the bag again, douche.
>>
>>21285062
>DON'T KNOW. DON'T GIVE A FUCK. JUST WHATEVER YOU DO, DO IT QUICKLY. I GOT BAG-RELATED BUSINESS TO ATTEND TO.
>>
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>>21285033
You don't exactly give the impression of the sort of person who has been in many games under countless DMs and GMs, all of whom homebrewed their own unique pantheon that included some sort of Time God.

Also, you're full of shit.
>>
>>21285062
EVERYTHING IS PROVIDED WITHIN THE BAG. THE BAG KNOWS ALL, IS ALL, SO FUCKING GET IN THE FUCKING BAG AL-FUCKING-READY
>>
>>21285073
>>21285077
Are there several Deaths or is it just one really confused one? If there are several then do they shove each other into bags since they're all dead?
>>
>>21285094
Maybe there used to be a lot, but then an overzealous Death shoved all the others ones in his death bag. Now he's pissed off because he has to do all their work.
>>
>>21285117
This is the best origin story.
>>
>>21285117
It seems like they should have some administration to deal with these sorts of things. Someone to say who should be put into a bag and who shouldn't. Seriously, this could be done way more efficiently, I'm sure of it.
>>
>>21285137
YEAH, THOSE GUYS. I REMEMBER THEM. THEY'RE IN THE FUCKING BAG NOW.
>>
I may end up using all this psychopomp stuff in a setting someday. Thanks /tg/, thou art truly the greatest of all boards.
>>
>>21285142
You know, Death, maybe if you hadn't shoved all those people into your bag, it wouldn't have ripped a hole in it.
>>
>>21285142
That seems counterproductive.
>>
>>21285161
YOU KNOW WHAT'S REALLY FUCKING COUNTERPRODUCTIVE? YOU BEING OUTSIDE THE BAG.
>>
>>21285157
If you tell him there's a hole in it, he'll stitch it.
>>
>>21285137

>YOU SEEM TO BE TALKING SOME SORT OF NONSENSE. LIKE NOT EVERYONE SHOULD BE IN THE BAG.

>GET IN THE BAG.
>>
>>21285194

BULLSHIT, MY BAG IS PERFECT, NOW GET IN IT.
>>
>>21285177
I'm pretty good at relaxation techniques, at least for living people. You should sit down a minute and think about what you're doing. Try to achieve serenity for a second. The bag can be put to rest for a moment. Don't you think that it would be way easier to put people in bags if you outsourced some of that work? Maybe got someone to monitor the population to see who needs to get put in a bag? You can keep doing what you're doing, but it can be done way better.
>>
>>21285221
It's really a shame he put you in the bag while you were in the middle of that nice argument.
>>
>>21285201
Maybe you should set priorities for who should get put in a bag?
>>
>>21285221
I WOULD BE A LOT MORE RELAXED IF YOU WOULD GET IN THE FUCKING BAG.
>>
>>21285233
Nah, I'm off to eat dinner. maybe I'll be back to discuss this bagging business you seem so obsessed with. Have fun while I'm gone! Don't do anything I wouldn't!
>>
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>>21283744
I wish I could get more 18-19th century fantasy.
>>
I need that "Best thread on /tg/ right now" stamp.
>>
>>21284931
No you don't. You'll get more flies with vinigar then you will with suger water or honey. Flys aren't looking for candy, they're looking for a dead body, LIKE YOURS. SO GET IN THE FUCKING BAG.
>>
>>21285309
THAT'S IT, I'M SHOVING YOUR ASS IN THE BAG.
>>
>>21285325
AND I WISH THIS BAG WASN'T SO EMPTY

THANKFULLY, DYING FREED UP A HOLE IN YOUR SCHEDULE AS LARGE AS THE ONE WHERE YOUR FACE USED TO BE, SO WHY DON'T YOU SPEND THAT TIME IN MY FUCKING MAGICAL BAG OF WONDERS?
>>
>>21285332
IT'S IN THE BAG. YOU CAN FIND IT IF YOU JUMP IN.
COME ON, GET IN THE DAMN BAG ALREADY.
>>
>>21283603
Hel. Daughter of Loki. Queen of the Dead. Ring any bells?
>>
>>21285607
MOTHERFUCKER. I THOUGHT I'D GOTTEN EVERYBODY AROUND HERE ALREADY.
GET IN THE FUCKING BAG.
>>
Can I bring a bag into the bag or does that violate the bag space conventions?
>>
>>21285616
>I THOUGHT I'D GOTTEN EVERYBODY AROUND HERE ALREADY.
That would explain why the thread died all of sudden.
>>
>>21285626
SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GIVE ME THAT.
MY BAG'S THE ONLY BAG, ASSWIPE.
AND NONE OF THOSE FUCKING PORTABLE HOLES, EITHER. LAST TIME SOME BITCH MANAGED TO SNEAK ONE PAST ME, DETROIT HAPPENED. YOU WANT MORE OF THAT? I DIDN'T FUCKING THINK SO. SO DROP IT AND GET IN THE BAG.
>>21285629
YOU TOO, SMARTASS.
>>
>>21285629
Not really dead, the thread was just in the bag

>>21285616
People die everywhere every second. Of course more of us would pop up while you are throwing others into the bag
>>
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EVERYONE'S GETTING BAGGED!

Now I know what to request in the next drawfag thread.
>>
>>21285656
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1EzU9sLQ6I
>>
>>21285686
YOU'LL HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO DRAW WHILE YOU'RE IN THE FUCKING BAG.
>>
>>21285751
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, THINKING YOU WON'T GET BAGGED IF YOU BAG SOME OTHER FUCKHEADS. EVERYONE GOES IN THE BAG, YOU TOO FUCKO
>>
>>21285769
Master, we are you living instruments! Direct us, so that we may send the living to the loving embrace of your BAG! SOULS FOR THE SOUL BAG!
>>
"... In the end, there will be nothing to bag. And noticing the results of its ways, Death proceeds to enter the bag, making the last bagging of all multiverse."
>>
>>21285786
ALRIGHT, I'LL DIRECT AND YOUR FUCKING INSTRUMENTS RIGHT INTO THE GODDAMN BAG.
>>
Alright. I'm running a game set in Solstheim, from the elder scrolls, and the BBGE is going to be the Greedy Man from the legend of Aevar stone-singer, and it just occured to me. The Greedy Man stole the gifts of the Skall by stuffing them in a bag.
I'm totaly going to have him doing all this as soon as the party meets him.
>"OH, SO THE FUCKING ALL-MAKER SENT YOU, DID HE? TOO FUCKING LATE, ASSHOLES. THIRSK'S IN THE BAG, KORST'S IN THE BAG, FUCK I THREW HIRCINE IN THE FUCKING BAG, AND NOW YOU'RE GOING IN THE FUCKING BAG TOO!"
>>
>>21285656

>AND NONE OF THOSE FUCKING PORTABLE HOLES, EITHER. LAST TIME SOME BITCH MANAGED TO SNEAK ONE PAST ME, DETROIT HAPPENED.

My sides... I think they've managed to escape Earth's gravitational pull!


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