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(Today's game was played with a human opponent. JUBILANCE! This led to many shenanigans, but a slight dearth of photos. At some point, I'll strike a balance...)

Somewhere in a rocky wasteland, the march of progress echoes... SCIENCE has arrived to this backwater, keen on conquest and domination!

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Approaching from the west, the invaders pose a considerable threat to their opponents, the Guerillas. With a considerable points lead and some frightening hardware, the Science Brigade is not a force to be trifled with.

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(oops, forgot to slip this one in)

Standing against them - the Green Guerillas, a splinter branch of the fighters from Battle Report 7! Though considerably more armed, they rely on scavenged alien tech, beasts of burden and a hefty terrain advantage to stand an even chance.

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The Guerilla player was given full choice on where to place the terrain pieces - the majority of which are fortified wall sections with sniper windows, providing total cover for the long-range snipers within!

Another valuable asset is the Tech-Knights, with their grappler guns. Can they fell the steel giants set before them?

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Sniper Joe, a hero, checks his scope for the Nth time, while the Sniper Captain maintains her sniping position. I worry that the word "snipe" is going to get redundant today.

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TURN 1

Both armies advance, with very little reaching firing range. The Octopoids and dinosaur cavalry prepare for their inevitable clash, but so far they remain out of reach of each others' tentacles and guns, respectively.

On the northwest side, the Troop Transport encounters a terrain problem. It will wait two turns to prepare a hover-jump over the obstacle, as it can barely stay standing on level ground...

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TURN 2

While waiting for the jump to charge, the Transport releases the first part of its cargo - flying Necroids with twin arm cannons! The hail of laser fire downs a dinosaur, and its rider takes cover behind the massive carcass.

(Fun fact: I built the troop transport the day of the game.)

continue....

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The Octopoids swarm a stegosaur, but find its plated exterior more than a match for their attacks... for now.

The Android Troopers use their combined gunfire to obliterate two rock formations, blocking the path of the Tech Knights' attack car while the Command Saucer advances.

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(speed bumps re. home botherings)

The Guerillas take some potshots at the advancing Necroids, and kill one Octopoid. The surrounded dino retreats.

In the back, the Trapper squad - a demi-hero team - lay a net trap in advance. To be honest, the mechanics for traps need work.

SCIENCE better win this time.

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The downed dino rider retreats and snatches a spare rifle, but his cover is soon nigh-useless as the Transport makes it jump! It fails to knock the Sniper off her perch, thankfully.

A charging Octopoid is gunned down by response fire from a dino rider. Meanwhile, the Giant Squid has yet to get into range... This may be the beginning of a tactical flaw in the Science Brigade's army composition.

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AND NOW THE BEST PART

The Transport finally disgorges its fell cargo - a contignent of 15 (Fif-teen!) Necroid troopers, which combined comprise nearly a third of the Science Brigade's army cost.

Seriously, I had so much fun building this thing, even though its legs were shakier than a hypothermic deer. It's the engineering challenges that make it all worthwhile.

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However, the Guerillas are nothing if not tenacious. The tower-bound Sniper takes out the Transport's scientist pilot!... However, a roll is made to determine if the bug-headed mosntrosity is self-aware, and SCIENCE wins again!

One Necroid is taken out before our hat-headed refugee flees for new cover.

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Meanwhile in the south, the Tech Knights finally complete their K-turn around the rubble and get within range of the Command Saucer! Their grapple guns all strike true, and next turn they'll be on top of the towering terror! Also, another Octopoid was killed by retreating dinosaurs. What the hell, guys?!

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The Necroids fan out, while the Transport steps forward to topple the windmill tower! The Sniper survives, but probably not for long...

Meanwhile, the huge melee bruisers continue forward. What they lack in movement speed, they more than make up for in range and health.

YESSS one of these threads

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Oh, wait, no. The sniper's dead. And the melee guys are nowhere near in range. That's a shame.

From here, you can see how desperate this all looks. Also, a forgotten troupe of Mining Droids clatter their way forward to hopefully be of some use.

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The Tech-Knights reach the Command Saucer!... Wait. One's missing! No time for grief; there's work to do! With their high-tech sharpened metal things, the Knights hammer away at the hull until...

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...they break through! Now they'll begin whacking away at the Saucer's skeleton crew until it's disabled.

(As a Construct, the Command Saucer has multiple lives - corresponding them to the number of pilots inside was a nice touch to be able to do for this one.)

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The Guerillas continue their tactical retreat, and manage to shoot out one of the Transport's eyes. This alerts the Science player (me) to a frightening possibility - collapsing the Transport on top of the Necroid legion. A retreat is planned ASAP.

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Without an anvil hanging over their heads, the Necroids advance and butcher a Dino with their combined gunfire. The constricting terrain prevents them from firing all at once, but their numbers are more than adequate for the job. The fliers advance as well, though one is lost; meanwhile, the Assault Armor robot makes clever use of a dead Octopoid...

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...Well, that sucked. I guess it'll smell bad later.

(I have a thing for posable battle mechs. this is likely one of the best yet.)

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(duplicate shot, derp)

In an ingenious maneuver, the Command Saucer uses its high-speed actuators to rotate at an incredible velocity, hoping to dislodge its unwelcome boarders through centrifugal force! GOTTA GO FAST. My hand made it into the shot by accident.

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After using a spinning ruler to determine the flight trajectory of the one dislodged Tech-Knight, it is hilariously concluded that a dead octopus cushions his fall. Sniper Joe, as ever, keeps his aim steady through the rungs of the armored gate.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT YOUR MODELS ARE AMAZING

How the hell did you get so many legos.
Especially the skeletons.

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Physics has lots of other fun applications, however - such as ballistics! A dinosaur pilot is shot off, and the beast goes wild.

The Trapper Squad are a hardy bunch, and only lose their movement next turn from having a roof fall on them.

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>Science AND skeletons
a dream come true.

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>>21199670

The skeletons I got on bricklink. Bargain hunted until I found 'em for a buck apiece. As for the rest... I don't drink, and Legos are cheaper than beer. Plus I finally got my old collection back. I no longer have a floor, and I'm happy.

After finally getting into attack range (and the last of its tiny progeny finally dying) the Giant Squid takes a barrage of bullets to the everything. On its last life (technically costed as a construct), its brain is exposed!

Next time, we are putting armor on the damn squids.

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The Trapper Squad gets themselves back up, and attempts to toss some dynamite over the wall to disperse the clustered Androids. However, their aim falls short, costing them the Jeep Driver. Oops.

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>LEGOS thread, but I have to go to bed to be up in 5 hours
all my why

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Aboard the Command Saucer, the Tech Knights resume their grisly work! Two down, two to go. Redundant systems will ensure the Saucer's continued operation for now, but things look grim for the Science Brigade's flagship.

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>>21199778
I'm sorry. Don't worry, these usually get archived.

With the gun-saddle still intact, a dino rider gets the idea to fire off one last shot from the massive cannon. It misses entirely. Little innovations like these are the heart and soul of Brikwars, even when they don't work.

>>21199735
may your soles be impenetrable, good sir.

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During the prior shots, the Necroids and Snipers traded missing shots in a fashion that would make Stormtroopers hang their heads and cry.

Having had enough of that nonsense, the Cyber Dino - a T-rex with deadly robot arms - charges forward, knocking over the entire legion in a domino effect while it uses one as a chewtoy.

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FINALLY, GOD DANG.

The Assault Armor, though classified as a melee unit, takes particular advantage of the definition of "melee" - anything your weapon can touch. A cleaving blow sunders stone, but the Sniper Captain ducks under it.

Below, the Tech Knight dismounts the roof and desperately searches for something to attack that isn't flying or huge.

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Apparently the dino pilot bit the dust on that one, though. Ouch.

Taking advantage of this vacancy, the Captain backflips her way onto the saddle, evading the Giant Squid's feeble attack! What is it with girls and tentacles, anyway?

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The Necroids burn their turn -

Wait, dammit, I forgot to count turns again... ah, well.

AHEM. The Necroids burn their turn's movement righting themselves, and proceed to blast the T-rex until it dies. Despondent, but not defeated, its rider uses the dead beast for cover. This is becoming an unsettling trend; perhaps a wall with legs would be a better investment.

Good to have you back Slim. Glad to hear shit's going well for ya.

With another firing squad (a total of 5 2d6 attacks) in perfect range of a lone, wild dinosaur (with 3d6 HP), another reptilicide seems imminent.

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>>21199899
Forgot pic.

At any rate, there's this other important thing about Brikwars...

Oh, Bricklink. I haven't been on that site since 2001.

Is it time again, chaps? What army should I make?

I was thinking monkey space pirates.

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...Dice are crazy.

The particular dice have a head-face-logo in lieu of a 6 - which, in Brikwars, is rerolled to add to the prior result - but this satanic combination on a defense roll means only one thing: Absolute bullshit.

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The wild Dino performs a leg sweep on the Command Saucer, causing it to kick over the entire Android squad. Though the Saucer rolls for a chance at a cataclysmic fallover, tripods are SO last season precisely because of this kind of occurrence. The machine, to the Guerilla's chagrin, stays upright.

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TECH-KNIGHTS!

THEY'RE KNIGHTS!

WITH TECH!

The third skeleton crewman is...well, not gutted, but basically he's not driving anymore. Though the saucer is structurally intact, one more lucky hit up top and it's done for.

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(this time, with PICTURE.)

After having his brain exposed for two whole turns (during which it appears he obliterated the Mining Droids), someone finally puts a bullet in the Giant Squid's bright red gray matter.

This will definitely smell in the morning.

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Meanwhile, Sniper Joe finally gets to use his Hero Roll!

Since "I shoot it in the head, despite Pilot Protection, and it dies" would be a balefully boring use of a Hero Roll, an arm is knocked of instead. The Assault Armor still has its melee attack by way of its robotic fist, but its vaunted reach is done for.

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The futile fight against the Necroids continues. Though the fliers are dropping like... well, flies, the ground army is apparently INVINCIBLE despite its standard 2d6 HP apiece.

This sniper nest was the genesis for the modular terrain idea. I am considering building a terrain feature or features for each army; again, if anyone lives in AUSTIN, speak up! This could be YOU!

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Continuing the abuse of the Assault Armor, the Tech-Knight shatters a portion of its leg plating! Hooray!

However, the Armor's pilot ignores this minor annoyance in favor of a much more appealing target...

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...and just rips off the whole damn saddle. Having deflected one blast at point-blank range with the barrel-chested robot's armor, the driver decides not to risk two. plus, RIP AND TEAR.

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Deciding that the traffic jam in the area had gone from "annoying" to "tactically stifling", the Necroids blow an attack round vaporizing a clear path. This houserule is immensely valuable for large battles like this one. Casualties are mounting on both sides, however...

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Did I mention the Command Saucer has an eye laser? It has an eye laser. It's been blasting stuff to little effect thus far.

However, this time it strikes true - finally slaying the Sniper Captain! I'll have to bring my fire bits next time.

Also the Trappers used dynamite to clear out the Tentacles. I suppose that's cool.

>>21200021
Austin. As in Austin the capital of Texas? This place that I live?

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An overhead shot. This is how a good Brikwars game usually looks.

The Transport has been idle for well over half the game now; this, plus its leg stability problems, are both signs that it needs an upgrade or redesign for NEXT TIME.

Oh yes. These armies are staying around.

I need to take a quick break; ROLL CALL for viewers?

>>21200097
I'm still here! Please continue

>>21200097
I'm watching, i always watch these threads.

Ever since Officer Miyamoto(i think) blew off the heads of several aliens i've loved reading these threads.

>>21200097
it looks like a clusterfuck
me likey

>>21200097
When are you doing your thing at DL? I'd love to show off my lack of tactical ability.

keep up the good work!

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>>21200086
Why yes! Yes it is!

If you frequent Dragon's Lair, you'll see a notice for Brikwars soon. I just need to slap together some more loaner armies and slog through the arduous task of sorting my legos. The two goals are contradictory, honestly.

BACK TO REPORTING.

Sniper Joe strikes again. This is getting a little sad. Technically, the thing still has legs?...

>>21200097
I'm here.

God damn this is hawt.
I wish I had such fittingly themed Lego pieces.
I could make a shitload of terrain, tho.
>must investigate this

>>21200097
good lord, how do you know who's bits go where!

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>>21200166

As mentioned, I need to make more loaner armies. But the events coordinator is a friend of mine from college, so it'll be before the end of the month if I'm lucky.

Apparently, the Assault Armor blinked out of existence for this shot. Shame, maybe? The Tech Knight wrangles a stray Dino. CAVALRY!

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Oh, there's the missing robo-OH GOD RUN

Well, backing up for a charge is usually a good tactic. The Tech-Knight and his steed narrowly miss getting crunched on the wall. This pilot is giving the Black Knight a run for his money!

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>>21200194

I have an amazing tactile memory - I basically think with my hands. Also, since each army has a distinct color scheme, it's pretty easy to tell what DOESN'T go where based on color.

The Necroids FINALLY spread back out and continue their advance. They're flanking the sniper den! Oh no!

>>21200194
I split mine into:
>normal blocks (can be defined as 2x3, 1x4, etc.)
>angled blocks
>minifigures
>minifig attachments (weapons, feet, etc.)
>creatures
>rotating parts
>hinged parts
>chests
>gold pieces, rubies, jewels, gems, fire
>plates with top connectors
>1x2 flat top plates (usually with stuff on top)
>elongated flat top plates
>"plungers", radio antennas
>cockpits
>assorted transparent blocks
>specialties (nets, sails, etc.)

That doesn't involve Technic.

I started with putting them into piles of big, small, standard blocks, and non-Lego. I then started splitting up each of those into similar types, repeating again and again until I could fit them each into small bags.

I didn't sort by color.

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At long last, the Trapper Squad's diligence pays off. A well-placed dynamite cache vaporizes a terrain section underneath the Command Saucer, and takes a leg along with it!

>>21200277
Oh, derp, thought you meant how do you sort them. Read the wrong linked post.

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The Assault Androids finally lose a man to dynamite and sniper fire, courtesy of a looted rifle. Their body armor makes them frighteningly resilient.

In theory, one could run a Stalingrad-style army - "the man without the rifle follows the man with the rifle" - and reduce the cost of an army by 1/4th to trade simultaneous fire for prolonged fire. But that'd just be inhumane.

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...

Goddammit, Joe.

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>>21200326
>mfw I do this in Cortex Command all the time

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The flanking continues, as do the tactical retreats! Another rifleman bites the dust, while the mechromantic skeletrons trample the still-warm corpses of the dead. In their soulless eyes there is no mercy, no humanity; only a pure, computational hatred for all that lives.

BRIKWARS: A GAME FOR CHILDREN.

Incidentally, the Snipers' cloaks count as a Shield upgrade, reducing the range of attacks against them by half. Though originally intended for melee units to be able to close the gap more effectively, it buys plenty of time for a last stand against the Necroids' 6-inch arm cannons.

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The Assault Androids finally get lucky. Two Trappers go down, and though the Sniper has protection thanks to cover, she doesn't have long. Is this the end for our brave battalion of freedom fighters?

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>>21200367
>mfw there are people still playing Cortex Command

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Oh. Well. That's a trap.

Remember what I said about tripods?

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>>21200415
>>21200367
>my rocket pilots when i'm not alone

The chains and nets are just bloody amazing. Good show, OP.

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One Tech-Knight survives the crash, and the Sniper manages to escape just before the wreck smashes her. Though felling the Command Saucer is a great victory, the greater one is this; the Assault Androids are blocked off! It'll take them forever to walk around. SALVATION!

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...Okay, this back-and-forth bullshit is getting ridiculous. IS THIS THE END FOR OUR BRAVE GUERILLAS, ALREADY? The shootout of the century ensues...

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MAYBE NOT. Between Joe's hero roll and the remaining snipers' luck, this might just be a Guerilla victory!

>>21199923

Good old Tagon... Have you tried the Schlock game?

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...Or not. The Assault Androids - minus one - found a way through. And now everyone's dead. There's one Sniper alive on the far side, but with the Science Brigade commander (technically) alive and a legion of undead and/or robotic monsters aiming at him, Sniper Joe doesn't have much chance.

He could take a few down - add another dollar to their repair bill, maybe. Or he could eat a bullet. The battlefield is eerily quiet as everything seems to fade away, replaced by the dull hum of the Necroids' idling lasers and the pounding of Joe's heart in his ears.

>>21200536
>implying sniper joe does not become the white death

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A sniper bullet knocks down the precariously-balanced top half of the Command Saucer. There is a crunch as the cockpit caves in, and a girlish squeal from the shooter.

"JOE! JOE, I DID IT! THEIR COMMANDER'S DEAD!"

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He hears the words, but the machines don't. They close in slowly, bearing bony grins that seem all the more malevolent for their emotionless stillness. He can feel the heat building from their charging lasers as the humming grows louder. Joe has only one shot at this.

"Game's over. You lose."

>>21200583
that's an awesome defense roll, right?

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>>21200584

Diplomacy roll. Bloody heroes, man.

And that concludes tonight's Battle Report! Hope you all enjoyed it. Remainder of the thread is left to Brikwars/Lego/wargaming/Cortex Command general, as you fine fellows see fit.

>>21200589
SUSPENSE

FUCKING SUSPENSE

>>21200610
>Cortex Command general
what system best encapsulates the insanity of cortex command?

Does anyone here intend to get the Lego Lord of the Rings video game?

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>>21200623

Probably Brikwars.

As a parting gift, here is the in-progress redux of the Troop Transport. It can now carry 18 troopers, up from 15, and still has the pods for fliers on the back. Guns are next to figure out, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

I'll stick around for Q&A for a bit, but I've got a football game to attend tomorrow. Thanks again for tuning in!

>>21200653
It's so freaking BIG.

You've gotten better at these battle reports, OP.

OKAY GUYS, I MUST DO THIS.

What armies should I make?

I was thinking aliens riding golems, wielding laser-spear slingers, for one army.

The other army would be Wild Western Robots, using dynamite ON EVERYTHING.

>YES, NO? Anything that I should add?

>>21200715
Big question; what Legos do you have right now? It's best to work with what you have first before going shopping.

>>21200715
My brother and I keep it simple; Mad Max-style Post Apocalyptic vs. THE WIZARDS OF THE WEST

>>21200753
I have about eighty pounds of legos. Most of it was collected from 1991 to 2003.

>Adventurers (Indiana Jones-ish, Mummy stuff)
>Aquazone
>Bionicle
>Castle: Black Knights, Ninja
>Dinosaurs (The older one, where you piece them together)
>Orange Transparent Chainsaws (what theme were these from? I have a few of the ice sets and polar bears.)
>Pirates: Normal, Imperial Armada, Islanders
>Rock Raiders
>Space: Blacktron, Futuron, Space Police, M-Tron, UFO, Life on Mars
>Time Cruisers
>Wild West & Civil War-ish

My favorite was Rock Raiders. Can I find more of this for cheap? Haven't checked BrickLink yet. I also saw that they have a new version, Power Miners. Is it lame?

I used to have a LEGO boardgame where your goal was to travel between 4 different settings or zones and gather an artifact from each of them. One was an underwater world, one was a medieval world, one was space, and I don't remember the last but want to say it was a desert. You had to be able to physically fit the pieces you gathered on your LEGO figure. I would often just have pretend swordfights with the little guys instead. What was that game called?

>>21201207
Whatever it is, /tg/ can homebrew a substitute and then some.

>>21201103
You can do... shit, any old thing you like.

The one thing I would recommend is sorting your minifigs first and getting a color scheme. That's how my armies start, anyway.

>>21201395
>homebrew a substitute
But it was a real boardgame! LIke the ones you buy in the store! I just don't remember its name.

>>21201427
http://lego.wikia.com/wiki/GA04_Time_Cruisers_Board_Game

>>21201395
I'm thinking getting the parts from Space: Life on Mars, assorted transparent spears & megaphones, assorted 5-point crystals, and Rock Raiders stuff to make SPACE DWARVES POWERED BY CRYSTALS. Should be either completely stupid or completely awesome.

Then I'll combine the late 80s-mid 90s space robots stuff with the Wild West (and tons and tons of dynamite), to make WHAT THE FUCK, YES, THESE ARE ROBOT WILD WESTERNERS WITH TNT.

Should be awesome.

>P.S.: The new Power Miners' vehicles are lame, sadly. They have too much of those giant pieces that you don't construct. Oh well, at least a dozen new transparent blocks and monsters came out of it.

>>21201469
Fuck, beat me to it. I just went through the entire Bricklink catalogue to find it.

I need to get some z's. Hope someone archives? idk. will bump once in morning perhaps. Also, look forward to MULLET KNIGHTS.

>>21201469
Yesss, that was it. It was Western, not a Desert. I wonder when I got rid of that game.
My LEGO collection is tiny. Inherited from my older brother. It hasn't been added to in more than 10 years, but it's still up on my shelf.

>>21201532
AND PIRATES! SPESS PIRATES WITH THE 1700s Flavour!

>>21201562
Shittttt. All of my Lego stuff is at my parents' place still (I'm in my mid 20s, they store all of my childhood stuff for someday when I have kids).

I still have nightmares about my brother going into the house one day and selling all the Legos for $100 so he can buy drugs. Lets hope it doesn't happen. I would go and get them so he doesn't, but he'd probably find where I live and try to murder me.

>brikwars battle repor seen on /tg/t
>in a seaside down
>Here's the town, /tg/!
>shows the people and setup
>shows the landmarks and merchant stalls
>oh will you just get to the game already
>shows the sections and city layout
>uggggh
>suddenly, a truck driver waves his hands in the air
>pedal to the metal like he just don't care
>crashes through a fence into the town square
>SKELETONS pour out of the truck
>all is forgiven

Wow I was missing more Brikwars battle reports, a shame Icannot read it right now be back later today!

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>>21201703

Yea, I've been getting better at these. Iterative process tends to do that more than anything else. Morning bump, and I'm off to the football.

MULLET KNIGHTS.