>Still halfway through a turn...
>[A1] Diplomacy with the Scaratones!

Boss Bawss, one of the larger ogres of Ogir Place, is learning just how hard it is to talk to someone so short that they barely come up to his knees. He either has to sit down (which ain't the right kind of impression to give for a Big Boss) or lean forward with his hands on his knees, which is real uncomfortable (and also makes him look like he's takin' a dump).

It also doesn't help that the Scaratone envoy has been VERY agitated ever since he arrived, or that his voice is so high-pitched and shrill and fast-moving. "Please, brute-warrior! We must go see Her Imperial Highness right away! Bring enchanted pick! Fast-fast! No delays! One does not keep the Great Queen waiting, and it is DAYS to walk by foot, yes-yes!!"

Boss Bawss has to remind himself that beetle-men don't much like being picked up and thrown sixty feet into the air. Yes, even if it'll make that voice stop shrilling into his ear. "Yah, okay, I was just gonna do dat," Boss rumbles patiently. "Just had ta make sure Ogir Place don't fall apart while I'm out, a'right?"

"Please! What's the worst that could-"

"We're ogres."

This forces the Scaratone to pause for a moment, before he shakes his head and waves his arms. "Good-good, then! Please prepare! Bring the enchanted pick! And please, no more delays! Late enough, late enough, and Her Imperial Majesty might punish me for it!"

(Cont.)

>>21141811
Boss Bawss heaves a sigh of relief as the Scaratone envoy goes to take a break, and the larger ogre starts the arduous process of gettin' his boys together, the gears in his mind starting to churn at their usual tepid pace.

Now, he's got a couple of decisions to make...

[ ] Go by foot with a small ogre escort and bring only the enchanted pick. The bare essentials.
[ ] Go by foot with a small ogre escort and bring the pick AND everything that needs appraisal (dragon bones, ??? ores, and musty tomes).
[ ] Fly Ogir Place right over near the Scaratone's capital, bringing the pick and everything needing appraisal and all the ogres. Hey, if they want FAST...
[ ] Write-in!

>>21141833
[x] Go by foot with a small ogre escort and bring the pick, and everything that needs appraisal.

Bringing Ogir Place over to them, while amusing, will probably lead to disaster. The very bad kind.

Anyway, good to see you writing quests again Blorp. Your first one was good, and with this one it seems you've only gotten better.

[x ] Go by foot with a small ogre escort and bring the pick AND everything that needs appraisal (dragon bones, ??? ores, and musty tomes).

As a side note, I love how the Boss knows his people so well.

>>21141955
Thanks, man! Wish my schedule hadn't ruined my ability to run quests; I still have a lot of places that I wanted to take that quest, but there you go.

>>21142060
Yeah, a few weeks(?) of having to lead ogres has given him a pretty unique perspective re: his own people. It's also given him a few headaches, but them's the breaks.

Going to wait for one or two more responses before continuing!

>>21141833
[x] Go by foot with a small ogre escort and bring the pick AND everything that needs appraisal (dragon bones, ??? ores, and musty tomes).
If we're making a trip to the Scaratone capital, we'd better make the most of it. Here's hoping Ogir Place doesn't just float away.

>>21142089
What was your first quest, mind my asking?

>>21142089
Having a twitter account could make it easier for you.

>>21141833
>[X] Go by foot with a small ogre escort and bring the pick AND everything that needs appraisal (dragon bones, ??? ores, and musty tomes).

"Right, think dat's everythin'." Boss Bawss dusts his hands off and straightens up, looking over his handiwork. It took about six Featherstone carts to fit the unidentified ores, books, and dragon bones (while he was tempted to use them as building materials, there's gotta be some magic left in them after all that undeady-ness business).

And, after some thought, Boss Bawss decided to bring about six other ogres with him. Not necessarily a huge group by any means- just enough to be an escort. He also brings the smaller ogre- that funny feeling in his gizzard might be of some help. Finally, the Scaratone envoy, along with the overseer and a few of the stray workers, have attached themselves to the group, perhaps unsurprisingly.

Boss Bawss adjusts his spiffy, animal corpse-laden hat, and shoulders his crack-tus stick. "A'right, boys, we're off!"

"Boss, are we-"

"Nah, we ain't there yet," Bawss adds with a heavy sigh.

(Cont.)

Rolled 27

>>21142089
Your name makes me think of the old evolution thingummy quest.

Blorp Blorp 40's everywhere.

>>21142307
Just half a day later, Boss Bawss and his troupe end up approaching Scaratone Outpost- turns out the hive's right smack-dab on the way to the Scaratone's Imperial Capital. A thought occurs to him, and he calls a halt, and waves over the beetle-man envoy. "... 'ey, d'you think they can help figure out wot we got here?"

The Scaratone envoy blinks. "... well, I don't see why not, they surely have scholar-caste individuals here-" He pauses, the stress and worry returning. "I-I have to question if that's wise, brute-warrior! We have to make it to the Imperial Capital in all due haste, and-"

"Naah," Boss Bawss says dismissively, waving a meaty hand. "It won't take long. I mean, wot's da worst that could-"

"You're ogres."

Boss Bawss makes a face, slightly miffed at having his own words thrown back at him. Still, it's something to consider- he's not sure he wants to show up at some hoity-toity fancy place with a whole lot of carts in tow. 'Sides, he's got a hunch that knowing what's in those things could be useful for talking to Her Majesty the Poop-Eating Buggy-Thing.

On the other hand, well, they DID say "go here fast now now now," so...

[ ] Stop by Scaratone Outpost to get your things appraised! It probably won't take long, and it might be better to know the value of our loot.
[ ] Pass it by and head straight to the Capital; everything we can do here, we can do there, and time's-a-wastin'.

File: 1350348719238.jpg-(Spoiler Image, 626 KB, 3000x2368)

>>21142254
See >>21142317

>>21142320
[x] Stop by Scaratone Outpost to get your things appraised! It probably won't take long, and it might be better to know the value of our loot.
And thus did ogres discover the value and overall concept of the "bargaining chip." Besides, it's not like ogres have a reputation for being punctual. Her Majesty can wait an extra day.

>>21142337
Those were good times.

Rolled 59

>>21142337
Oh man, that actually WAS you?

I miss that quest like hell. At least now I know why I love this one so much.

Never stop, mate. Never stop.

>Stop by the outpost.

>>21142320
[x] Stop by Scaratone Outpost

"Right, but if we do this here then we won't have to do it there. That way we can hurry along to the queen with no other side-trips.

That, and we have no idea if some of this stuff is dangerous."

/ogre speech that I cannot into

>>21142320

Let's stop by the outpost to get our shit checked before heading into the capital.

File: 1350349120573.jpg-(56 KB, 466x358, 1336648850497.jpg)

>Blorp
>BLORP
>Of the short-lived but fantastic Evo Quest
Where... Where did you come from? Where did you go? I don't even... You disappeared without a trace, maaan. But why?

[ x] Pass it by and head straight to the Capital; everything we can do here, we can do there, and time's-a-wastin'.

>>21142413
Y-YEAH, so, basically in order:

One hell of a semester, then exams, then more exams, then a summer's worth of hell, and then an unplanned overseas trip.

And then it was kind of a little late to restart EVO Quest.

[ x] Stop by Scaratone Outpost to get your things appraised! It probably won't take long, and it might be better to know the value of our loot.

We need to know what we have. What if the Queen wants our precious shiny rocks? We need to know their value if we want to get a fair trade.

>>21142536
A damn shame. I still have fond memories of it... Ah well. Guess it's time to catch up with Ogre Quest.

>>21142536
Sounds harsh, no one] blames you for life stepping in, happens to everyone. We happy that you're back though.

>>21142320
"Yah, but ya see," Boss Bawss explains patiently. "If we do it here, we don't gotta do it there, so we'll get to talk to 'er faster 'cause we don't gotta do it there before we talk to her, and then find out that wot we brought was some real scary dangerous stuff dat would keep us from talkin' to her, and would make it slower, 'cause we'd gotta go back an' do it here maybe, an'-"

Boss Bawss trails off as he realizes that the ogres are clutching their heads in pain at the convoluted logic, while the Scaratone Envoy's eyes seem glassier than normal. Just as planned. "... and dat would be bad," he finishes decisively, "so we're goin' to da outpost!"

The strange group barely arrives at the outpost's main square before the Scaratone overseer from last time runs out to meet them, most probably to avoid a repeat of ogres destroying everything ever. Still, he looks happy enough. "Brute-warriors! Truly, it is good to see you again, yes, yes!" he says excitedly. "I, Zzrazk, am truly indebted to you- our trade agreement has become the stuff of legends, and I find myself truly rich! Not bad, not bad at all! What can I do for you, brute-warrior?"

"Wot's dis?" Boss Bawss asks, all but shoving a book in Zzrazk's face.

The beetle-man goes cross-eyed as he takes in the super-close view. "... a book?"

A femur comes out next. "And dis?"

"A bone?" the beetle-man hazards, not sure whether this is a joke or serious business.

"An' dese strange an' shiny rocks?"

"... strange and shiny rocks?"

Boss Bawss nods sagely before putting everything back into the carts, beaming in satisfaction. "T'anks a lot, Zzrazk! Now we know wot dis is, so we can go to da capital an' talk to da queen! Boys, let's-"

(cont.)

>>21142795
"W-Wait, wait, wait!" the Scaratone envoy wails, cutting in. "Brute-warriors, if you're going to waste-waste our time with detour, you should be going for actual appraisal, not this farce!!"

Boss Bawss looks blank. "But he totally told us wot dey were?"

"... is that what you're looking for?" Zzrazk buzzes in amusement, before turning and beckoning them over. "Happy to help, yes, yes! Right this way, a few wizard caste are actually staying here to oversee mining operations..."

In the end, it takes a few hours for the wizard-beetle-men of the outpost- beetles in voluminous robes with glowing eyes- to properly classify all of the items, but they are as follows:

- ??? Ores -> Iron Ore, Chromite Ore
- ??? Books -> Multiple books on Draconic Lore, some Old World Books in a strange flowery language, a starter's guide to Illusory Magic ("Even A Monkey Can Cast Prestidigitation"), and a basic treatise on necromancy for large-sized creatures ("101 Ways to Cook, Preserve, and Violate the Laws of Nature to Bind the Souls of Medium-Sized Humanoids").
- ??? Dragon Bones: Not actually dragon bones, but a lesser breed of drake. Still unquestionably saturated with residual necromantic energies, may be of high value to certain scholars.

(Continued! Sorry for how long this is taking- 15 minutes or thereabouts for the next post)

>>21142809
The books would be pretty neat if we were actually literate.
>Even A Monkey Can Cast Prestidigitation
This book assumes an awful lot. Plus, who's to say ogres won't just summon spectral butts everywhere?

File: 1350351163695.png-(72 KB, 400x300, LOOK AT DAT DESERT.png)

>>21142809
But can we use the bones as massive toothpicks?

Anyway, I think we might wanna keep something as a gift for the Bug Queen. Maybe we should tell her we jailed this big talking skeleton dragon out in the desert?

>>21142896
You mean the one whose skull we turned into powder with cacti-on-a-stick?

File: 1350351399138.jpg-(30 KB, 560x277, DOTA 2 STENCIL BOUNTY HUNTER.jpg)

>>21142926
I was thinking more along the lines of telling them that we actually killed the big thing and that these are its bones.

Maybe they could teach us to read/write, maybe even teach us how to farm!

>>21142893
You say that now, but these are ogres we are talking about.

I wouldn't be surprised if one ogre hits another with the magic book, and it transferring all the magic in the book to the ogre through sheer luck.

>>21142893

>spectral butts
>ohgodmysides

Also we should trade the bones to the queen's court wizard or battlemage or grand scholar or vizier or chamberlain or whatever the fuck she keeps that is wise and mystical - and in return he should teach us how to read and write. I'm sure that among our clan there must be one Ogre Magus, right?

>>21143026
Magic-infused drake bones for literacy.
Fair trade.

>>21143023
we should try this, the dice gods will surely look favorably upon out tom-foolery

File: 1350352043532.png-(332 KB, 900x600, ITS ME HAT!.png)

>>21143026
Look for the one with the two heads, they've been blessed by Lady Luck as the only Ogre that can do successful magic, and have a high (for an Ogre) level of intelligence.

this is just going off the backstory of the picture OP posts at the start, I don't know if it actually works like that

>>21143085
Almost done with the post, but...

Now the question is, does having two heads give the ogre magical ability, or does learning magical ability give the ogre two heads?

Rolled 63

>>21143106
Yes.

>>21142809
Some days later, Boss Bawss and the Ogres of Ogir Place find themselves awaiting an audience with the Imperial Queen of the Scaratone People, fidgeting uneasily in the alien space of the Imperial Capital's primary hive-structure. Gilded paintings DO cover the inside of the hive- in ALL directions, the slightly rounded style of the tunnels making it hard to tell which parts are the ceiling, floor, or walls.

The approach to the Imperial Capital wasn't so bad; as with Scaratone Outpost, there were a few small baked-clay-looking structures dotting the landscape. Also like Scaratone Outpost, the main hive dwarfed the rest of the settlement... and that's about where the similarities end.

For one thing, the Imperial Capital's main hive is easily twice the size of the Outpost's. For another, it seems that the bulk of the Scaratone people's activities take place underground... and it shows. The second the ogres stepped on Scaratone soil, they could FEEL the vibrations of hundreds, if not thousands, of beetle-men scurrying underfoot. Nothing so dramatic as an earthquake, but just a subtle shaking that leaves the ogres somewhat wary.

That wariness continues inside the hive- because unlike smaller warriors of the Outpost, the warriors here are mildly nightmare-inducing, being twice as tall as the average Scaratone. Shorter than ogres, yes, but also about twice as wide, given their shells and muscle mass.

"The royal warriors," the Scaratone envoy informs them. "Sworn to protect the line of the ruling family."

An ogre pipes up, squinting at the warriors. "Yah, I don't fink we can squis-"

Boss Bawss surreptitiously elbows the ogre to get him to stop talking- it works, though the force of the blow sends the ogre flying a few yards. The Scaratones don't really question it- hey, it IS ogres.

(Cont.)

>>21143106
Oh jeez. The ramifications of the latter occurring would be pretty frightening to the ogres. Imaging constantly punching out a head that just grew in next to yours that won't go away.
"gititoffgititoffgititoffgititoffgititoffgititoff"

>>21143135
Soon enough, though, the ogres are greeted by what Boss Bawss assumes to be the Imperial Queen, flanked by ten royal warrior-caste Scaratone.

He assumes this because he has to crane his neck to look UP at her. Unlike the other, mostly bipedal castes, the bestial-looking Imperial Queen walks on all legs, and just barely FITS in the tunnel's enclosed space- she's almost as comfortable as a giant beetle in tunnels she herself dug out.

There's nothing remotely bestial about her voice. "Hmhm. It IS high time that I saw these 'brute-warriors' for myself. And what strange creatures you are, yes! Much the talk among our people, for both the destruction you wrought, the destruction you wrought, the destruction you wrought AGAIN, and then your feats of valor and the trade you bring us."

... despite her words, her tone is really quite mild.

The queen chitters a bit. "But where are my manners? Custom dictates that outsiders shall have the first word, yes. Have you any questions? Anything you would like to share? Speak, for it is an honor to be able to converse so freely with one of the Scaratone's imperial lineage, yes-yes."

Boss Bawss starts scratching his head, but stops when a royal warrior looks at him askance.

[ ] Well, why're we here? You was kinda in a hurry, right?
[ ] Wot do you think of these [INSERT THINGS] here? Not bad, eh? Eh? Wanna trade? Eeeh? You know you wanna! (Not quite in those words.)
[ ] So we bumped into dis dead dragon inna desert... ever heard of it?
[ ] So we saw a spindly fing in da distance, an' a beetle-man called it da Tower of Something... wot is it?
[ ] Ever heard of any howling flying things?
[ ] You see our missing guy?
[ ] Write-in.
(I may combine some of these, if demand is high enough.)

File: 1350352422169.jpg-(1011 KB, 1600x1200, ooooooohhhh Pretty.jpg)

>>21143106
The ordinary ogre is the creature for whom the phrase 'As dumb as a bag of rock hammers' was coined. In his natural state, an ogre is supremely incapable of doing or deciding anything. Clothed in dirt, he sometimes finds himself accidentally draped in animal skins after eating lanekill. Not an especially social creature, he is most often found affectionately consorting with the boulders or tree-stumps he has mistaken for kin (a factor that may explain the ogre's low rate of reproduction). However, once every generation or so, the ogre race is blessed with the birth of a two-headed Ogre Magi, who is immediately given the traditional name of Aggron Stonebreak, the name of the first and perhaps only wise ogre in their line's history. With two heads, Ogre Magi finds it possible to function at a level most other creatures manage with one. And while the Ogre Magi will win no debates (even with itself), it is graced with a divine quality known as Dumb Luck--a propensity for serendipitous strokes of fortune which have allowed the ogre race to flourish in spite of enemies, harsh weather, and an inability to feed itself. It's as if the Goddess of Luck, filled with pity for the sadly inept species, has taken Ogre Magi under her wing. And who could blame her? Poor things. I think its implied that they are born with the two heads, and the ability to do magic comes naturally to them, along with their ability to use fire magic to the extreme.

Also, considering that you have A) a floating magical island and B) a bunch of magic spells and access to fire, you could say that the Ogre Magi is on his way to the Island as we speak (Guided by Lady Luck after all)

>[ ] Wot do you think of these [INSERT THINGS] here? Not bad, eh? Eh? Wanna trade? Eeeh? You know you wanna! (Not quite in those words.)
>[ ] So we bumped into dis dead dragon inna desert... ever heard of it?
these 2

>>21143149
Optimally, we'd want everything answered, but I suppose the most immediate concern is
[x] Well, why're we here? You was kinda in a hurry, right?

>>21143149
>[ ] Well, why're we here? You was kinda in a hurry, right?
>[ ] So we bumped into dis dead dragon inna desert... ever heard of it?
>[ ] So we saw a spindly fing in da distance, an' a beetle-man called it da Tower of Something... wot is it?
>[ ] You see our missing guy?

I REALLY want to know what happened to our missing ogre...

He is deader than a lich, isn't he?

>>21143184
I'd assumed most ogres are single-headed, with an occasional two-headed showing up here and there. Whether the two-headed necessarily has to be an Ogre Magus is debatable, but they do tend to be a mite smarter than their brethren.

Not that that means much.

[x] So we bumped into dis dead dragon inna desert... ever heard of it?

>>21143149
[X] Wot do you think of these [INSERT THINGS] here? Not bad, eh? Eh? Wanna trade? Eeeh? You know you wanna! (Not quite in those words.)
[X] So we bumped into dis dead dragon inna desert... ever heard of it?
[X ] Ever heard of any howling flying things?
[X ] You see our missing guy?
these ones the insert things being all the stuff we brought with us

File: 1350352896127.jpg-(624 KB, 1280x960, Like me new an improved hat?.jpg)

>>21143149

We should probably be polite, considering its royalty and all, although I don't know if an Ogre could pull that off with something going horribly wrong.

So we should introduce ourselves, then let her talk (Cause dat's what little men do to each other, right?) and then we discuss trade and so on.

We might also want to point out that we've gotten all these new thingys that we brought over to her palace, and would she be willing to discuss trade or anything about them.

Also
>WE SHOULD OFFER HER A HAT.
>I BET YOU THATS WHY SHE CALLED US OUT HER IN THE FIRST PLACE.
>MY GOD, SHE WANTS ARE HATS.

>>21143184
>>21143255
That's Dota 2-verse (and Warcraft III-verse); I took their characterization of ogres, but not much else regarding the rest of the world or magic.

Aggron IS one of my favorite heroes, but sadly, I'm probably not pulling him in wholesale, if at all.

>>21143255
I'd say it's less that they are smarter, and more they have to think about less things individually.

A normal one headed ogre has to think about breathing, walking, Ooh whats that shiny, I'm hungry, oww sharp rocks don't taste so good, etc. etc.

A two headed ogre can partition thinking. One thinks about food, while the other thinks about walking. More efficient, you see.

File: 1350353050942.jpg-(173 KB, 512x512, Hey boss, whats dat fingy?.jpg)

>>21143298
Well then I'd assume two headed Ogres can occur both ways.
But more are born with two heads than grow them, mainly because when an Ogre grows another head he usually A)freaks the Fuck out and B) its usually caused by something incredibly magically unlucky/lucky thing happening to him.

[X] What magic pick do?

>>21143316
SO I WAS FINKIN'
WE JUST
STICK A BUNCH O' HEADS ON 'IM
LIKE
BUNCHES O' HEADS
Y'KNOW
LIKE
FOOKIN'
A DOUBLE-BUNCH
JUS'
ALL ON 'EM
ON ONEUV DA BOYS
AND DEN
'E'D BE WAY SMARTER
LIKE
BUNCH-O'-HEADS-SMARTER
WHAT'CHA FINK, BOSS

>>21143298
How about looking at dragonmech, warmachine/warmahorde, and spelljammer.

File: 1350353427716.jpg-(22 KB, 166x209, beetles.jpg)

Whoops, forgot to post the royal warrior beetles.

- also, DIPLOMACY ROLL
>***STUPID LUCKY TIME?***
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)

Rolled 91

>>21143423
BEHOLD~

Rolled 58

>>21143423
Quit droolin' and say sumfin', boss!

Rolled 78

>>21143423
my body is ready

Rolled 96

>>21143423
Lets say hi to the pretty bug lady

>>21143430
And the winner is.

>>21143149

I mean, I want all of those things answered...
but I'm gonna say in order of importance
>why're we here your poop-eatingness? D'ya want a hatz? Dey are pretty nice if u ask me(:
>We bumped into dis dead dragon in da desert, ring a bell?
>Wot d'ya fink of dese gubbins? I was finkin maybe you have a brainy type dat might want to take dese magic bones, and in return teach us how to read dese books and use words maybe?

>>21143445
Good as it'll get.

>>21143430
God damnit guys. Stop stealing the good rolls from metaquest.

Rolled 99

>>21143490
No.

>>21143490
Better this than... whatever that is.

>>21143499
winning

File: 1350353741388.jpg-(42 KB, 155x178, 1272204605752.jpg)

>>21143499
NOW YOU'VE GONE AND DONE IT.

>>21143430

no fucking way.
a 91?
OH FORTUNA, YOU SPIN MY WHEEL IN AN EVER UPWARDS CYCLE

File: 1350353785868.jpg-(105 KB, 1031x1031, hahahaha Ogre.jpg)

Rolled 25

>>21143499

>>21143499

*GASP*

File: 1350353879673.png-(230 KB, 290x330, why.png)

>>21143430
>get up for 6 minutes
>come back
>96
>99 in a post ending in 99

WHAT DO I EVEN

Rolled 11

>>21143553
You everything is what you do.

>>21143553
I didn't even notice the double-dubs. Damn, son. Can we put that on layaway?

>>21143553
ogres just have really compelling personalities

>>21143553
The Scaratones shall teach us eeeeeeeeeverything.

File: 1350354099059.jpg-(451 KB, 2525x1024, what happened to the oasis?.jpg)

Rolled 6

>>21143499

ITS OGRES MOTHERFUCKER

WE DON'T GOT TO EXPLAIN SHIT

>>21143577
How about a luck point system?

>>21143626
We can't keep stockpiling luck, though. That'd defeat the purpose of luck, wouldn't it?

Rolled 41

>>21143638
Luck cannot be stockpiled. It merely is.

File: 1350354294464.jpg-(26 KB, 560x402, DOTA 2 STENCIL MORPHLING.jpg)

Rolled 8

>>21143638
We still have a double role in a luck store currently, don't we?

>>21143553

I think you know what must happen. The 99 99 luck roll is going to cause some big changes methinks.

>>21143572
Damn

>>21143662
We do. From last thread. A double-91, I think.

>>21143638
True, but hey, I said last thread that I WOULD stockpile that one doubles roll, and we DID get a ridiculous doubles-on-a-doubles roll...

Here's what I'm going to rule (and the next Status Report will reflect this):

- The ogres can only ever have one [Goddess of Luck Intervention], max. It can be used any time, and then unavailable until the next time.
- Successive stupid lucky doubles made after a roll is called for, but after the first roll is already taken... will make the [Goddess of Luck Intervention] even more potent.

File: 1350354586515.jpg-(14 KB, 401x308, 1341000972887.jpg)

>>21143702
>the Goddess of Luck hasn't even been directly intervening in our stupid lucky ineptitude this whole time
>this is the result of mere PASSIVE stupid luck magic

>>21143702
So we can stockpile ONE godly roll and use it for any given situation. And the next time a superfluous godly roll comes along, it'll be the new stockpiled roll, and it'll be more potent than an equivalent stockpile from previous.
I like it.

>>21143702
So what do we do with the double-91 in reserve? Do we overwrite it with the dubs-within-dubs 99? Do we use it, and the 99 becomes the new saved roll?

>>21143739
Ack, I didn't quite make it clear, sorry!

I meant that if there's another superfluous godly roll while we already have one stockpiled/not-yet-used, the existing stockpile powers up big time.

File: 1350354891810.jpg-(225 KB, 1600x1600, Lady Luck.jpg)

Rolled 55

>>21143702
I think by this point she's just fucking with the world right now.

I imagine the gods are currently acting some what like this right about now.

Lady Luck-'You know what would be really funny? Ogres can now do Magic'

Zeus-'No thats stupid'

Lady Luck-'Fuck you its stupid, for that, I'm throwing in writing AND agriculture'

Zeus-'Luck, just stop'

Lady Luck-'No, Fuck you and fuck the horse you rode in on, I'm going to give them advance mathematics'

Zeus-'God dammit Luck'

Lady Luck- 'Also, new hats'

>>21143762
For all purposes, any higher roll will be the saved roll. The numbers themselves generally won't matter, only how powerful the dubs themselves are.

... though by the time a stockpiled roll is powered up, we're beyond mere numbers. ANYWAY, GOTTA KEEP WRITING THIS POST

File: 1350355014495.jpg-(43 KB, 948x651, 1282980343942.jpg)

>>21143772
So, assuming there's a roll in layaway, stored godly rolls now stack?

File: 1350355140329.jpg-(34 KB, 1280x720, 1330868649027.jpg)

>>21143825
Yes.

I am also sure I will regret this very much later.

>>21143848
in the meantime YES

File: 1350355204026.jpg-(12 KB, 300x400, 1219735557379.jpg)

>>21143802
So now our Goddess of Luck Intervention roll is
=dubs-within-dubs 99
==double-rolled 91
Jesus wept.

>>21143796
>55
AND IT'S DOUBLES AGAIN
oh my! Blorp, when you quest, there's always stupid lucky dice shenanigans abound. And it's always blue creatures. Blue is Orky luck's color.
WAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHH

>>21143796
Im imagining all the gods dickering over their respective civilized races on the mainland while Lady Luck has squirreled away a few ogres on this continent and is just buffing the hell out of them in order to maximum overtroll the rest of the gods when the time is right. Like, the God of Evil has just assembled his grand army to wipe out the goodly races once and for all when BAM! floating Ogir Plase outta nowhere crushing all plans to the point where even the goodly races end up subjugated to ogres somehow.

>>21143886
Not even that. Just Boss Bawss with a rock and a snap of the goddess's fingers.

File: 1350355384486.jpg-(80 KB, 639x480, OH MY GOD!.jpg)

>>21143796
>Doubles on lady luck blessing ogres
Dear god WHAT.
Does this mean we get lucky from being lucky?

>>21143883
>>21143910
I don't think that counts. That just came way after the fact. We can't keep rolling dice forever.

... So when are the ogres gonna figure out that they have a patron Goddess.

>>21143917
yeah that would get ridiculous

>>21143938
They don't. Not for a looooooooong while.

>>21143938
I would guess probably about the same time they realize that stubbing your toe hurts because your toe is a part of you.

File: 1350355680368.png-(100 KB, 450x350, nyo ho ho.png)

>Ogre's trying to tech
>Luck roll
Ogre trying to strap stone plates to himself for protection accidently creates power armour.

>>21143917
yeah, it's just showing how the dice gods are blessing Blorp. I mean, EVO quest had lots of 40s and 20s abound, and the protagonist is commonly depicted as blue. Now Ogre civ's leader is depicted as blue, and we get about the same level of crazy lucky rolls as EVO quest. And both of them are GM'd by Blorp. Coincidence? Nay, tis luck!

File: 1350355773334.jpg-(7 KB, 229x270, ladyluck 2.jpg)

>>21143917
I meant it as a joke, but obviously Lady Luck is content to show how much she cares for her precious little Ogres.

For some reason I get the feeling the Lady Luck is like one of those crazy, classy women who can and will kick the shit out of you in any given challenge, but has that one little animal that they constantly pamper, which in this case, is the Ogres.

Called it ages ago, ogre hotdrops.

>>21144002
In /tg/ terms, she's the queen of minmaxers. Take as many drawbacks as you can, make them good at maybe one thing, but give them a ridiculous boon as a tradeoff.

File: 1350355991142.jpg-(22 KB, 369x286, You are not Reggie.jpg)

>>21144028
I would say shes the opposite. No matter how much minmaxing you do, no matter what you try and prepare for, you will never be ready for Ogre Steel Rain.

>>21144049
Ogres literally have two things going for them: their strength/endurance and divine favor. That's all that's allowed them to survive in the world today.

File: 1350356291194.jpg-(23 KB, 192x271, Ladyluck 3.jpg)

>>21144049

Darlings, I am whatever I wish to be.
Oh just look at my cute, fuzzy wuzzy little Ogres, Oh they're so cute when they try to think!
*ahem*
But gentlemen, I am the Lady ofLuck and I support whomever I feel like. But please, don't mind me, keep rolling.
I'm sure your lucky numbers will come up eventually.

Rolled 12

Hey guys, nice to see this back up. What've I misse-
>90+ on diplomacy
>luck now accumulates
>mfw I was the guy who suggested keeping the 91s for later use
So, I'm guessing we're never going to use that charge and letting it build up right up till we need to avert the apocalypse or something?

>>21144118
So far I think we could role to do whatever the hell we want at this rate. We have the luck and the massive mechanical monster to do it with.

>>21144118
It's simple, we stockpile luck until we are lucky enough to accidentally turn the oasis into a starship.

The first species to contact aliens will be the ogres.

>>21144167
>Hi, funny lookin star human! Welcome to Plase!

File: 1350356787060.jpg-(67 KB, 400x406, 1321823999254.jpg)

>>21143149
>91
Deprived of his usual thinking pose, Boss Bawss rubs his chin in thought. This girl, she looks pretty damn strong. He really isn't one for fancy words or talking with queens or even what he heard some non-ogres calling deck-core-rum... for a long, long moment, he racks his mind for the appropriate words-

- ... and then his beleaguered brain just gives up. And he realizes that he's really pretty damned tired from having to deal with everything ever, and not in the mood to bandy words around. Besides, he's been thinking too much lately.

Boss Bawss turns off his brain. Then, he clears his throat and jumps in without preamble. Queens are this mystical things called 'girls,' right? Even big beetle things?

"Yo, gurl, wot is up?"

A frozen silence follows.

... but Boss ignores it, moving on to the next subject. "'Kay, first things first, I'm Boss Bawss Fistboss, these are my boys, an' we're da Ogres of Ogir Place. Nice to meet you an' all, Mrs. Bigbeetle McQueenliness, so let's talk business!"

The Scaratone warriors around them continue staring, absolutely scandalized. "That is not proper decorum!" the Scaratone envoy wails. "You have to-"

"Hey, dat's a nice story an' all, but I gotta tell you somethin'!" Boss Bawss interjects, powering over the envoy's voice easily. "So we was walkin' through da desert 'cause we saw bones, see? An' there was dis dragon called Rayman or Ryebread, see, an' he wuz like 'OH I WILL EAT YOU', an' I was like 'NOPE' an' I punched him."

(Cont.)

>>21144193
"Ryagmos, and she is female," the Queen says, her calm demeanor a sharp contrast to the increasing ire/panic/tears of the surrounding beetle-men. "She never bothered us, as we have no bones to collect. Still, an annoyance, yes-yes. Do go on. This is a boast, yes, in the manner of brute-warriors like yourself?"

"Nah, we got 'im right here." Boss gestures to the carts behind them, some filled with bones.

The Queen suddenly looks more interested- and FAR more interested, especially once another garbed sorcerer-caste whispers something to her. "... I see. They are what you say they are, yes. Do go on, if you please."

"You betcher pants, big guy. Er, gurl. While we're talkin' about our swag," Boss continues, "Wot do you fink of our rocks? We got big rocks, huh?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes," the Queen says dryly, drumming one elongated claw on her chin.

"Dey're wot you guys call 'ores'," Boss says. "An' we even got LOTS of books here! Big books, small books, some da size of your head! ... well, maybe not YOUR head, Mrs. Queengurl," he adds. "So wot do you guys think? Cool, huh? Wanna give us stuff for some of 'em?"

A Scaratone royal warrior steps forward, his scimitar handle creaking under the bug's grip. "You... you impudent brute, I ought to cut-cut you for talking to our Queen like-"

(Cont.)

>>21144167
So spelljammer then

>>21144193
Is that Beatroll? This cannot end well.

>>21144204
He's cut short by a snort. And then, of all things, a chittering giggle. And then the Queen of all Scaratone starts /laughing/, her eyes squeezed shut in mirth. "My goodness, how refreshing! Years it has been, since anyone dared talk to me like this! So honest! So forthright! Yes-yes, this I like." The Queen waves her hand lazily. "Weapons down, guard, this brute-warrior shall not be harmed under our care. Name your price."

There's another stunned silence.

The envoy is the first to break it. "... beg pardon for my interruption, your royal Imperial Highness, is that really wise-"

"It has been some good few days, envoy," the Queen trills easily. "We do have these brute-warriors to thank for our royal jelly replenishment, yes. Close to a crisis, we were, yes-yes, but these peoples' leavings saved the Royal Lineage. And my wizards are slavering to get their hands on those bones, among other things- no, don't deny it, I could tell," she adds, waving a third arm in the court wizard's direction.

The Queen turns back to the ogres, beaming. ... probably. It's hard to tell with that mouth. "Besides, we also have them to thank for breaking the back of the usurper's coven, yes! Floating island of ogres clipped the top of their hive, far out in the desert, yes-yes. I am in a good mood today, and generous."

Boss Bawss suddenly recalls a time during their flight when the island rocked slightly. "... oh, so DAT'S why I thought I heard screamin'," he mutters.

"So yes. There you have it, fine brute-warrior! Name your price, and the Scaratone shall do their best to deliver! But first, the pick."

(Cont.)

>>21144243
In this quest bad things are good.

File: 1350357199813.png-(391 KB, 630x800, 1323032683635.png)

>>21144259
Boss scratches his head in thought. This time, the royal warriors don't stop him. "The pick?"

"Yes, later. First, we must talk about the enchanted pick; you know the one." The Queen tilts her head. "I believe my wizards DO want it back?"

The smaller ogre quickly whispers into Boss's ear- but ogre voices being ogre voices, the voice carries quite well. "Erm, boss, we kinda need the pick to fly our thing."

"Oh, no matter," the Queen says airily. "I'm sure we can arrange for a similar enchantment to be placed on an item of your choice, later."

The wizard clears his throat. "Your majesty, the reagents for that-"

"Drake bones filled with new and strange magics," the Queen singsongs. That shuts up the wizard. "Now, shall we talk about trade?"


>OUR ITEMS (Minimum: 2)
[ ] Tomes (Any or all)
[ ] Ore
[X] Bones
[ ] Hats

>THEIR ITEMS (Limit: 5)
[ ] Paper
[ ] Royal Jelly (Ogre -> Berserker Mutant)
[ ] ARMS: Discover Scimitars
[ ] ARMS: Discover Javelins
[ ] TECH: Writing/Reading (+Tools)
[ ] TECH: Smelting/Forging (+Tools)
[ ] TECH: Agriculture
[ ] UNLOCK: Magic

File: 1350357291952.gif-(473 KB, 300x200, Negro community laughs at(...).gif)

>>21144259
>oh, so DAT'S why I thought I heard screamin'," he mutters.

Rolled 58

>>21144287
Give ore.

Take all tech and unlock magic.

Wait a tic.

Take [X] Archetecture too.

>>21144287
For the item of enchantment, I propose a wheel proper so we can steer our island. If it doesn't actually steer anything, all the better.

>>21144319
I second this

captcha: techonen all
even the captcha demands it!!!

>>21144287
>OUR ITEMS (Minimum: 2)
[ ] Tomes (Any or all)
[ ] Ore
[X] Bones
[X] Hats
If the hats don't take for some ungodly reason, then give them the ore. We can pick more later.

>THEIR ITEMS (Limit: 5)
[X] Paper
[ ] Royal Jelly (Ogre -> Berserker Mutant)
[ ] ARMS: Discover Scimitars
[ ] ARMS: Discover Javelins
[X] TECH: Writing/Reading (+Tools)
[X] TECH: Smelting/Forging (+Tools)
[X] TECH: Agriculture
[X] UNLOCK: Magic

>>21144287
[X] Ore
[X] Bones

and

[X] TECH: Agriculture
[X] UNLOCK: Magic
[X] TECH: Smelting/Forging (+Tools)

>>21144287
All of the Techs, Magic, and paper.

Give them Ore, Bones, and Hats as icing on the cake.

>>21144287
[X ] Tomes (All except for monkey illusion)

[X] UNLOCK: Magic hell yeah magic ogres
[X] TECH: writing/reading + tools
[X] Paper

We shall be come dashing magical ogres! Can we get a monacle for Bawss

>>21144287
Give them the bones and tomes. They probably have plenty of ore to work with, though we can get more, so I'm not sure we should bother. And of course we must pander our fashionable headgear!

We shall take the tech- since we're trying to figure out wot's wot in the world- as well as more wibbly-wobbly magic fings, because magic MUST be good if it can make Ogir Place fly. Lastly, how 'bout butt paper?

>>21144351
Yes! Give her a hat!

File: 1350357569411.jpg-(18 KB, 265x297, image.jpg)

Is there a chance that someone might have saved this entire story somewhere, or if the entire story could be reposted in one conscending line during a "rest" in the role play? I try my very best to lurk this page, but I can never seem to keep up with it.

>>21144287
How about we offer to try to teach them how to do the arm and leg growing thing.

>>21144356
Now that's just being silly.

[X] Books -Old World Books, Dragon Books, and Illusion Book.
[X] Bones
[X] Hats
[X] Some Ore(not all of it)


[X ] Paper
[X] TECH: Writing/Reading (+Tools)
[X] TECH: Smelting/Forging (+Tools)
[X] TECH: Agriculture
[X] UNLOCK: Magic

>>21144287
my vote goes for bones and ore in exchange for all three techs and magic.

>>21144363
I have actually been considering compiling all the story posts into a single file because I like them so much

I don't know if or when I'll get around to it, but knowing somebody might like this is motivating

>>21144287
If we do give the tomes can we ask that copies be made for us to take back? They won't think much of it after all we are ogres.

>>21144386
>>21144363
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Ogre%20Civilization%20Quest

Does everyone remember what we did with the island? I wonder if it would be possible to teach them.

>>21144287

I don't know how no one else wants us to have scimitars...

we give them
>bones
>ores
(cuz we can get more ores)

and they give us
>reading, writing
>smelting/forging
>MAGIC
>agriculture
>SCIMITARS

>>21144483

Also we should give them
>hats
(to sweeten teh deal)

>>21144483
Weapons come on their own time. We'll improve on the crack-tus stick soon enough.

>>21144381

we'll need the books... we're learning how to read, and learning magic - if we give them the books we have nothing to read and no magic to learn.
idiot.

>>21144483
Scimitars may lead to wiping themselves out pretty fast...

>>21144483
Bug scimitars would not be good for ogres. We need ogre weapons like walking oases and crackti.

File: 1350358464704.jpg-(149 KB, 887x900, HI BOSS!.jpg)

>>21144287
>[X]Bones
>[X]Ore
>[X]Books
>[X]Hats (totally what they called us here in the first place)

>[X]Unlock: Magic
>[X]Agriculture
>[X]Writing/Reading (+Tools)
>[X]Smelting/Forging (+Tools)
>[X]Architecture
>[X]Arms: Discover Javelins
>[X]Arms: Discover Scimitars

Ask for them to copy out some of the basic magical tomes and see if they'll give us some of their beginner tomes for us to practice with.
When trading the various Ores, mention that the area that the Oasis floated away from is now, effectively, a giant open pit mine that we can mine for more minerals.

We should also ask if we can have tour of their kingdom so we can see what they've made and see if we could try and build to their levels (lay on that flattery) on our floating Oasis.

Have a look at their methods of growing planets and how the forge various bits and pieces, such as the tools and weapons in the deal. Maybe we should leave some Ogres to be taught how to the various bits and pieces and so on.

We can also offer our services as possible warriors to deal with bigger threats such as big angry Lich drakes and so on, if they keep trading with us.

>>21144549
There's no architecture choice. Plus, we can't get everything on their list.

Rolled 82

>>21144573
I MADE an archetecture choice.

When I made the most profitable list.

Ya'lls be trippin if you think you got any better deal than the one I worked out.

>OUR ITEMS (Minimum: 2)
[X] Tomes (Offer all)
[X] Ore
[X] Bones
[X] Hats

>THEIR ITEMS (Limit: 5)
[ ] Paper
[X] Royal Jelly (Ogre -> Berserker Mutant)
[ ] ARMS: Discover Scimitars
[ ] ARMS: Discover Javelins
[X] TECH: Writing/Reading (+Tools)
[X] TECH: Smelting/Forging (+Tools)
[X] TECH: Agriculture
[X] UNLOCK: Magic

Why write on paper? Stone holds plenty pictures. Better crumper too.

File: 1350358700071.jpg-(124 KB, 420x500, Scared.jpg)

>>21144549
>Have a look at their methods of growing planets
>their methods of growing planets
>growing planets
>planets
>ogres growing their own planets

>>21144319
>>21144549
>>21144593
>architecture

I'm not sure ogres living in hives is what we're aiming for here.

>>21144287
We should request a small stock of royal jelly. They should have plenty, and we can use it as 'justice'. That way we get a shiny new ogre who was doing bad things, without the parts of him that made him do bad things!

And unlock magic.

>>21144549

If we give them the books, we have nothing to read and no magic to learn, stahp

>>21144602
Ogres can krump fine as it is. We don't need to make them dumber than usual just so they can krump better.

>>21144602

YES LET'S LEARN HOW TO READ AND WRITE AND LEARN HOW TO USE MAGIC

THEN GIVE AWAY OUR BOOKS, WHICH WE'RE LEARNING HOW TO READ TO USE, AND ARE THE ONLY SOURCE OF MAGICAL KNOWLEDGE WE HAVE

Please blorp don't let us give them our books - we could learn necromancy and illusion! PLZ BLORP DNT LET THE STUPIDITY FOIL US

File: 1350358916162.jpg-(145 KB, 512x512, HURR DURR HURR.jpg)

>>21144573
I mean, we should offer even more things to the Bugmen.
We can offer our services as giant, living engines of destruction to help protect them if they need to stomp any major problem, like giant angry lich dragons.
We can also offer to supply them with more ores as we have just created a giant strip mine.

>>21144606
What?
Oh.
....
Its Ogres, don't ask.

>>21144631
We ask them to copy out the beginner copies of some of them.
Anyway, we're Ogres! We can totally figure out how to do magic by ourselves!

File: 1350358921386.jpg-(95 KB, 370x370, CAPITALISM HO.jpg)

>>21144287
>[X] Ores
>[X] Bones
>[X] Hats
>in exchange for
>[X] Paper
>[X] TECH: Writing/Reading (+Tools)
>[X] TECH: Smelting/Forging (+Tools)
>[X] TECH: Agriculture
>[X] UNLOCK: Magic

"My, you do drive a hard bargain, don't you?" Still, the Queen doesn't seem displeased. Boss Bawss grins smugly. That is TOTALLY because of the hat that Boss Bawss so thoughtfully gave her- a true rarity, dead vulture partially wrapped around a rock, held in place with dead snake skins. "Very well. Speaking for the Scaratone people, I, Queen Kilkkarak, accept this trade agree- oh, do please write it down in multiple copies, will you? And please get together those willing to teach the brute-warriors those various trades and skills, yes-yes."

As a worker caste beetle-man begins to furiously scribble, the Queen turns back to Boss Bawss. "I do hope our respective peoples continue to maintain ties in the future," she chitters. "And rest assured, we will be monitoring your progress in these harsh lands VERY closely, King of the Brute-Warriors. Now, is there anything else you would like to ask of us?"

>(Select multiple, if needed)
[ ] Ask for a grand tour of the hive!
[ ] Confirm the item that will be similarly enchanted!
[ ] Ask to borrow/make copies of their primers on magic!
[ ] Go into detail about the effects of the pick on Featherstone, and maybe teach them.
[ ] Nothin', really, think we're done here.
[ ] Write-in! Anything else we need to ask, etc?

>>21144674
[X] Ask for a grand tour of the hive!
[X] Confirm the item that will be similarly enchanted!
[X] Ask to borrow/make copies of their primers on magic!
[X] Go into detail about the effects of the pick on Featherstone, and maybe teach them.
[ ] Nothin', really, think we're done here.
[ ] Write-in! Anything else we need to ask, etc?

>>21144674
[x] Confirm the item that will be similarly enchanted!
[x] Ask to borrow/make copies of their primers on magic!

Write-in: whats with the tower thing in the desert?

>>21144674
>[x] Ask for a grand tour of the hive!
Gotta get in their good graces.
>[x] Ask to borrow/make copies of their primers on magic!
The more we have, the fancier we get.
>[x] Write-in! Anything else we need to ask, etc?
"You seen one o' my boys wandering around the desert? Dumb git, ain't seen 'im in weeks."

>>21144674
[X] Ask for a grand tour of the hive!
[X] Confirm the item that will be similarly enchanted!
[X] Ask to borrow/make copies of their primers on magic!
[X] Go into detail about the effects of the pick on Featherstone, and maybe teach them.

>>21144730
>[x] Ask for a grand tour of the hive!
>Gotta get in their good graces.

I see bad things in this hives future... bad things.

I'm
>>21144743
and I also want this
>>21144730
>[x] Write-in! Anything else we need to ask, etc?
"You seen one o' my boys wandering around the desert? Dumb git, ain't seen 'im in weeks."

>Some books (keep the Illusion book - we don't want to insult them)
>Some ores
>Bones
>Throw in hats for free out of goodwill

>Paper
>Reading/Writing
>Forging
>Agriculture
>Magic

Huh, the queen seems pretty cool.
>inb4 North Wind and Sun

>>21144674

We should
>confirm the item - which should be a small hammer, yes? that we use to strike the stone every now and again
>get copies of their magic books yis pls
>and teach them about featherstone, perhaps we could trade them featherstone for knowledge of scimitars? I like our clubs but some swords might come in handy one day....

File: 1350359419881.jpg-(78 KB, 512x512, Ohhhh I look fancy.jpg)

>>21144674

>[X] Grand Tour! And we promise we'll try not to step on anyone!
As a diplomate, we wouldn't mind being shown around their fancy buggy hive. Its only good manners after all.

>[X]Ask/Borrow/Have a look at, the various magical bits and bobs they have.
As we have a chat to them about the effects of the Featherstone pick, lets have a looks at how they do their magic.

>[X] Ask about are lost Ogre
Tell them that one of our boys has gone missing and if they see him wandering around, tell him that he's got to go back to the Oasis, or if he's lost, bring him back to their outpost and we'll come an get him.

In exchange for
>[X]Tell them about the Featherstone pick
They'll definitely want to know about this, I think, considering the sheer panic that resulted from them losing it.

>>21144768
>>21144743
These

Come to think of it, we never really found out what the Queen wanted us for, not since da boss asserted himself like that.

>>21144810
This is cool. We probably don't have a good way to test out the pick replacement anyway, short of levitating their whole colony. Not sure if they'll be happy with that.

>>21144899
Should we start by asking about this?

>>21144899
good point

>>21144899
We didn't, did we?
We should probably ask.

>>21144899
This is true we should also do this.

>>21144899
We probably should ask.

We should totally be bros to the Scaratones. Bring all our boys over one of these days and tell them to help out wherever they can.

Then we burn our luck charge.

>>21145056
God no. They'll get into the royal jelly, then we'll have 50 berserkers with exponentially amplified luck.

>>21145091
I want this to happen now.

File: 1350361083763.jpg-(Spoiler Image, 142 KB, 1024x640)

>>21145056
>mfw

No, not really.

Rolled 84

>>21145131
Come on you beautiful bastard I need sleep.

Also where is that draw guy from evo when you need him.

>>21144674
>[ X] Confirm the item that will be similarly enchanted! PIRATE SHIP STEERING WHEEL

>[x ] Go into detail about the effects of the pick on Featherstone, and maybe teach them.

>
[x ] Write-in! Anything else we need to ask, etc?
teach us about womenz

>>21144674
"Act-ually," Boss Bawss drawls. "I was kinda curious. Wot did you want us here for, anyway? Can't just be for da pick, you coulda just asked for it back instead of askin' us to come here."

The Queen, if she had eyebrows, would probably have raised them all the way up to her forehead. "That's right... forgot in my royal amusement, I did. We were merely concerned about your... Ogre Place?"

"Ogir Place, your majespestry " the smaller ogre corrects.

"Yes... we weren't sure what was happening with that. Let it be known that Scaratones do their level best to protect their trade interests, few as they are with outsiders," the Queen adds.

"Oh! Well, dat's da funny thing," the smaller ogre says. "I just kinda hit it to Featherstone, an' then ALL the Featherstone started flyin'."

There's a short silence.

(Cont.)

>>21145292

>implying I ever left

Oh you.

No tablet at the moment, otherwise there would have been something posted. Give me a week or so and I should be back up and running.

>>21145341
"... that's it?" the Queen asks, tilting her head to the side yet again. Seems to be a common thing among the beetle-men, reflects Boss Bawss.

"Fascinating, yes-yes," the wizard-caste Scaratone mutters to himself. "Perhaps the potency of the ingredients..."

"Thank you for informing us," the Queen trills smoothly, leaving the wizard to his mumbling. "Problematic it would have been, if we had tested it out here. Featherstone veins run far and wide... the Scaratones are, indeed, once more in your debt, brute-warriors."

Boss Bawss nods, not really understanding 'debt,' but figures that it's probably a good thing. "Mind if we take a look around dis place? It's really... y'know."

"Awe-inspiring?" The Queen prompts. "Alien, yet beautiful in its own way? Something worthy of emulation?"

"... well, I was gonna say 'made out of poo', which is really kinda neat, 'cause it don't smell and you put paint on it real well, but yah, dat works, too."

(Cont.)

>>21145349
"Permission granted," the Queen trills easily. "This IS a red-letter day for us as well, you know. You have the grand honor of being the very first outsiders to be allowed into the royal Hive, after all! Most aren't nearly as courteous as you," she sighs, shaking her head. "It has always been, 'O, wicked godless beast, I shall smite thee,' or 'We didn't mean to dig all the way into your nurseries and eat your precious young, honest,' or 'oh no my arm she's eating my arm arghgjbkle.' Truly, you brute-warriors must be born diplomats."

The ogres carefully keep up their poker-faces.

"... that means people who are good at talking to other people," the Queen adds, not unkindly.

"Oh! 'Kay then. Thanks," Boss Bawss replies, a little unused to being praised like this. "'Ere, while we're at it, you ain't seen one of us, 'ave you, Mrs. Queenbeetle? We lost 'im a few weeks back."

The Queen and the court wizard-caste beetle exchange looks. Then they turn back to the larger ogre. "The Tower of Decay," they say simultaneously.

The Queen continues on, her tone markedly more serious. "Apologies, yes. During that time, we had not even known of your kind, save for one report where a worker-caste had been so unfortunately... done away with. Our scouts saw him wandering in the direction of Tower, but did not think to stop him."

She shudders. "He is most probably dead. The Tower is known most for its death from above..."

(Cont.)

>>21145354
"We'll find 'im," Boss Bawss says stubbornly, jutting out his jaw. "An' if he's dead, we'll krump da ones who did it, 'cause I'm da boss! Right, boys?"

A roar of approval sounds out from the few ogres behind him.

"... and it seems like you're in good hands," the Queen replies, sounding amused. "Speaking of which, I will leave you to your well-deserved tour, then. Remember this day well, and tell the tale to your children, should you continue to thrive in the Scouring Wastes... but with your airborne island, that may not be a problem."

"You ain't comin' with us?" Boss asks, scratching his head.

"I'm afraid not," the Queen says, jovial once more. "I have a much harder time fitting through the hive than I did in my youth, it seems. Do these tunnels make my posterior look fat?"

As she backs her way out of the tunnels to return to her lair, the Queen of Scaratones laughs at Boss Bawss's instantaneous flash of primeval terror (an instinct common to most males), the bright, chittering laughter echoing throughout the hive as she disappears around the corner.

(Cont.)

Rolled 86

>>21145348
>Glorious day

>>21145358
"... and our first stop is here, yes-yes!"

Boss Bawss tunes back into the tour guide's conversation, stifling a yawn (which his fellow ogres don't even bother hiding). Honestly, he was MUCH more interested in the hive and the workings of the Scaratones themselves, rather than the history of the political intrigues of like a gazillion competing Royal Lineages stretched out over the past trigazillion years. "An' wot's dis place?"

"The oldest of our magic laboratories-slash-libraries!" The short, dumpy Scaratone tour guide turns to one of the bookshelves hewn into the hive wall, running a finger along the bindings. "This particular room doesn't get much use these days, you see, but it has some of our older texts!"

"... yah?" Boss Bawss hazards, figuring it would be best to agree.

>Not having the enchanted item be a hat with an innocuous button on the underside.

File: 1350362817726.jpg-(187 KB, 629x889, Imma krump you real good now!.jpg)

>>21145358
Oh we are going to stomp that birdy thing and we are going to wear its skull as a hat!

... right then, 4chan's system seems to think that all of the posts I'm trying to put out are spam.

Taking a few minutes' break and a quick browser reset to see if things right themselves eventually!

>>21145358
> Boss shows terror at the dreaded Question

And people say ogres are stupid.

>>21145444
To be fair the boss ogre is pretty smart.

>Do these tunnels make my posterior look fat?
Ow my sides.

This queen is awesome. I hope we see more of her.

>>21145444
When the only deity that cares for you is a temperamental women who has the ability to ruin everything ever for anybody, you learn pretty damn fat to show respect to women in power.

>>21145510
boss bawss fistboss is going to unknowingly marry her like goku and chichi

File: 1350363437164.png-(113 KB, 241x255, 1326853151564.png)

>>21145517
>you learn pretty damn fat
>fat

File: 1350363790335.jpg-(53 KB, 362x365, wow.jpg)

>>21145534

This is a terrible idea and we should feel bad for thinking it.

I fully support this. At least we know the boss is an 'assman' Ogre now...

>>21145544
My fingers are fat and the keys are small, leave me alone.

>>21145608

WHAT A HORRIBLE NIGHT TO HAVE A CURSE

>>21145385
>>21145385
The shorter ogre, the one with the strange feeling in his gizzard, is a little quicker on the uptake. "Oh, so it has lotsa real easy magic books, right? For learners an' stuff?"

"Why yes, of course, this also works as the room for our initiates in-"

"Can we take 'em?" The smaller ogre asks gleefully and without missing a beat.

A pained expression crosses the tour guide's face. "I- I do not think we can allow such a thing, no-no. It's not even my place to-"

"YOU HAVE THE PERMISSION OF THE QUEEN TO REQUEST COPIES OF OUR MORE COMMON PRIMERS, YES!" the Queen's voice suddenly booms, seeming to come from everywhere at once.

There's a second, more awkward silence, as all parties involved stare woodenly forward.

(Cont.)

>>21145640
"... your Majesty, I really do not think that listening into conversations and responding to them was the main purpose of the ventilation system," the tour guide says, sounding mildly exasperated.

"Of course your Queen would not do something like listening in or using the ventilation system to bounce words back to her subjects on specific floors," the Queen's voice replies, all too sweetly. "Surely the Queen of the Scaratones is in all of her subject's hearts, the voice of your inner conscience. And they have my permission."

"... yes, my Queen," the tour guide responds resignedly.

"... whoa, she's in OUR hearts, too?" An ogre in the back whispers. "How's she fit?"

After a few minutes, the tour guide brings up a short list of the available primers, some MUCH older and more well-worn than others. The smaller ogre picks through it, hmming to himself as the tour guide reads it out loud to him.

Seems like the Scaratones only practice a few schools of magic, really. Sadly, the titles aren't very helpful, and the smaller ogre feels in his gizzard that there ARE definitely more types of magic-y things out there...

[ ] Down and Dirty: Old-Fashioned Geomancy
[ ] Climate Control: Turning Hot to Cold and Back Again
[ ] Does It Hurt? Fuck That Shit, Just Magic It Away
[ ] [Illegible Old World Text] (Random School of Magic Not On This List)

>>21145644
Can we pick all? I pick all.

If not; geomancy, then climate control.
They live on a flying mine, things could be useful.

>>21145644
Take all three. We have to start somewhere, and it's better to have the basics than nothing at all.

If we can't take them all, then we can settle for the geomancy book.

>>21145644
[ x] Down and Dirty: Old-Fashioned Geomancy
[ ] Climate Control: Turning Hot to Cold and Back Again
[ x] Does It Hurt? Fuck That Shit, Just Magic It Away
[ ] [Illegible Old World Text] (Random School of Magic Not On This List)

Geomancy and heal magic, combined with flying rocks are the key to drop pods

>>21145670
>>21145678
Only one, sadly!

... ogres discovering magic for the first time is terrifying enough without them having that many schools to work with at once.

File: 1350364344099.jpg-(153 KB, 1024x768, Why am I so short now?.jpg)

>>21145644
>[X] Does it hurt? Fuck that shit, just magic it away

Look, we are Ogres. Someone is going to get completely mashed by the end of this quest. That and if there are anymore hat-related crimes the victim can be healed, just like if we get into a fight with any more horrible beasties.

Geomancy if we can't get the heals book, because trading those Ores could net us a lot of fancy gear.

>>21145644
>Does It Hurt? Fuck That Shit, Just Magic It Away

Ogres with healing magic? oh shi-

>[Illegible Old World Text] (Random School of Magic Not On This List)

Chance seems to smile on our ogrish heroes, plus the unkown is more exciting!

Rolled 6

>>21145699
Geomancy in this case

>>21145706
I dunno, Ogres can't be lucky all the time.

>>21145699
Are we allowed to 'rent' the book?
So we learn the basics of one, then bring it back and check out another? Maybe we can get a bunch of kids books as well to help teach the Ogres how to read and write.

>conversations via ventilation system
Is there no end to this queen's awesomeness?

Can I also ask for clarification: is the geomancy here just manipulation of the earth, or proper prediction-of-future-via-rocks geomancy?

>>21145744
The former!

... for now.

>>21145763
Wait a minute
WAIT A GOD DAMN MINUTE

Geomancy, as in
Meepo the Geomancer
style Geomancy?

Because, if so, I say we get that.

>>21145763
as much as i want to pick the book with fuck in the title Geomancy seems to be the best for people living on an island in the sky

>>21145741
Taking books out of the hive for any extended period of time is an auto-veto from the wizard caste of the Scaratones.

To put it in perspective, it's basically asking an individual who was born for a purpose, whose entire life revolves around honing and improving their means to get to that purpose, to part with a piece of themselves.

File: 1350364890324.png-(168 KB, 350x385, IMG_1068.png)

>>21145780

Okay, which school leads to the Prestidigitation and Celerity chains?
But seriously, why not stick with what we're good at, and go with LUCK MAGIC?

>picking an illegible book
Nigga, not even ogres are that stupid.

Geomancy, motherfuckers!

>>21145826
Because we don't have LUCK MAGIC. Ogres just naturally have dumb luck. There's nothing magical about it.

File: 1350365139919.png-(Spoiler Image, 378 KB, 610x365)

>>21145792
Ohh.
So why don't we see if we can get one of our Ogres to apply to their magic school?

>>21145815
http://www.dota2wiki. com/wiki/Meepo
I've got dirt between my toes!

>>21145826
Its Ogres.

Rolled 10

>>21145815
Is this thread dead because I just saw it here?
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/21141794/

>>21145881
No. Someone archived it early, that's all. Give it time, and the archive will catch up.

File: 1350365480374.jpg-(17 KB, 512x512, end.jpg)

... agh

Sorry, guys, my mind is pretty much going kaput. We'll pick up tomorrow night at 8 pm EST, with the rest of the Scaratone capital's tour and then we'll finally get back to the civ!

BUT FIRST, just to get this out of the way:

Vote for what sort of item to have enchanted, to become the main control mechanism for Ogir Place (Flight Mode)! Keep in mind that it needs to be attached to the floor of Oasis Springs' underground cavern while piloting.

[ ] Steering Wheel
[ ] Another Pick
[ ] A Simple Rock
[ ] Write-In

>>21145925
[x] Steering Wheel

Rolled 12

>>21145925
A big red button

>>21145925
>[X] Steering Wheel

>>21145925
[X] A Simple Rock

No one but an Ogre could gleam into its true design.

Rolled 6

>>21145925
A captain's hat

File: 1350365704608.jpg-(203 KB, 1032x774, LETS KRUMP 'EM BOSS.jpg)

Rolled 52

>>21145925
A steering wheel (But how will we see where we're going?)
A captain's hat
Some kind of flying creature to act as a parrot

>>21145951
Dude's got a point.

File: 1350365950108.jpg-(106 KB, 812x456, Mario face planet.jpg)

>>21145980
I just like the idea of Bawss grabbing the wheel to an entire goddamned oasis and steering that shit.

And who knows, with a little geomancy, maybe we can reshape the oasis into something a little more fitting.

>>21146022
Fair enough.

>>21145925
STEERING WHEEL LIKE A PIRATE SHIP

inb4 we become air pirate ogres raining down death on da humans with our bug allies

How about this: the thing's steered via an incongruous steering wheel jutting out in the middle of the floor, but activated by an innocuous rock that only ogres will know the true significance of?

Rolled 6

>>21145955
I change my vote to steering wheel, Captain's Hat for pirate ogres can come later

>>21145510
To think, none of this might of happened if we had krumped those first guys who came to us.

File: 1350366682062.jpg-(12 KB, 184x208, kaptin_bluddflagg.jpg)

Rolled 52

>>21146077
That could work

>WE KAPTIN BOSS BAWSS NOW

>>21146157
Shit, we would probably be at war with them right now.

>>21145644
Take the Illegible Old World Text!

>>21145925
[x] The green squiggly bit that you aren't suppose to eat.
Or
[x] A rock shaped into a steering wheel

File: 1350367253850.jpg-(56 KB, 575x498, 18wheel[1].jpg)

>>21146219
nah its gotta be fancy wood

>>21146157
>tfw Scaratone scholars are looking back at history centuries from now and realize that their civilization only started really advancing when they made an exception from tradition and opened trade with a bunch if stupid brutes

Rolled 98

Wait, the answer should be obvious.
[X] Tell the smart guy to pick one at random and go with what his gizzard tells him.

File: 1350367545785.png-(109 KB, 318x318, 1324447298744.png)

>>21146276
>21146157
everything's right on schedule

>>21145713
>>21145955
>>21146098
>666
Speak of the devil...

Rolled 8

>>21146352
Hey man just because I rolled three sixes in a row doesn't meARBLARHGh.. ALL HAIL SATAN!!!

>>21146352
I'd agree with you if it wasn't for the fact that there are rolls between them, and that they aren't about a similar topic.

If only though.

Rolled 49

>>21146307
This refers to picking a book, not an item to enchant, if it wasn't obvious.