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File: 1350001251850.jpg-(98 KB, 642x517, ogre-magi.jpg)
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"The ordinary ogre is the creature for whom the phrase 'As dumb as a bag of rock hammers' was coined."

"In years past, it was thought that an ogre was barely capable of doing or deciding anything on its own. Adventurers regale each other with tales of dirt-covered ogres talking to rocks, trying to eat rocks, or being fooled by tricks that not even a two-year-old child would fall for. And while an ogre provoked to violence may be a fearsome brute to face in lone battle, he is easily distracted, bribed, or simply chased off by a group of armed scouts or militiamen."

"Perhaps the ogre race was a practical joke played by some bored deity who wanted an entire species whose sole purpose was to make everyone else laugh. Among some circles, this theory is further substantiated by eyewitness reports of the ogres' amazing dumb luck, which has allowed them to survive largely unmolested by the world in general."

"In short, the civilized races of the world took the ogre race to be nothing more than a minor annoyance. Or a joke."

"... no one could have imagined that for all this time, WE may have been the butt of that particular joke."

(Cont.)
>>
>>21086937
>Still halfway through a turn...
>Explore Landmark: Rolled 71 - GOOD!

While many of the ogres worked on reinforcing their stacked rock shanties with dried snake entrails (don't ask how it works, it's ogres), a smaller group of ogres quickly lost interest in the snake entrails and began wandering around Oasis Springs. And for lack of anything better to do, these ogres started examining the large rock outcropping at the center of their encampment.

It's really no wonder that Oasis Springs managed to attract the ogres like this. An anomaly in this otherwise featureless stretch of desert, the pillar of dark brown rock stands tall at fifty or sixty feet, clearly visible by any and all creatures who look this way. More importantly, a small jet of water cascades down from a crack in the strange rock formation, eventually widening into a cascading stream that feeds the only green oasis for miles, a cerulean pool of water so deep that even an ogre would come nowhere close to reaching the bottom (without forgetting how to breathe and subsequently drowning).

"... I'm tellin' ya, there's somethin' here," the smaller ogre insists. "I feel it in my gizzard, see?"

The other ogres greet this with puzzled silence. "What's a gizzard?"

"... I think it's the green wobbly bit that you shouldn't eat. Look, that ain't important." The smaller ogre circles around to the back of the rocky pillar, staring intently at the cracked wall. Most of the medium-sized slabs of rock were carried away to build houses, leaving slabs and piles of smaller fist-sized rocks littering the area. Eventually, he jabs a meaty finger at a random pile. "There! I bet there's somethin' under there! Come on, guys, help me dig!"

For lack of anything better to do, the ogres good-naturedly help the smaller one shift the rocks aside.

All but one.

(Cont.)
>>
>>21086967
"Hey, guys! Guys! Check dis out! It'll go boom!"

"Huh, wha-" The smaller ogre turns around, only to scramble out of the way as a gigantic slab of rock nearly takes his head off. It continues on to crack against the side of Oasis Springs' rock pillar with a KRAK-THOOM way out of proportion to the strength of the impact, causing the ground beneath the ogres' feet to shake. "Oi! Wot was that for!?"

The rock-throwing ogre opens his mouth to defend himself ("Nuh-uh, it was your FACE that was wot was that for"), but then he stares past the shorter ogre's shoulder, an expression of enraptured idiocy on his face. "... whoa."

As one, the ogres turn to look, only to be struck by the same expression...

(Cont.)
>>
>>21086983

>STATUS REPORT
Of all the things they could have found in Oasis Springs, the ogres have discovered the entrance to an underground cave on the side of the rocky outcropping! Cool, dry, and formed from rough stone, the cave is just big enough to fit a handful of ogres, and an underground river runs through the cave, fed by some deeper, unseen source.

... granted, the strangest part is how the river flows halfway through the cave before veering UP into a small hole into the ceiling, as if the water just decided to fuck the rules and make gravity its bitch. Now the ogres know how(?) the water flows into Oasis Springs, but... it kind of raises a LOT more questions, most of them pertaining to magic.

... at least for those ogres who actually realize that water doesn't normally flow upwards.

Miraculously, the dried snake entrails are actually doing a good job with the rock shanties! The ogres have used the makeshift ropes to lash the stacked rocks together, sharply decreasing the rate at which ogres wake up screaming "FUCKING PIECE OF POOPOO ROCK FELL ON MY FACE I FINK I LOST A TOOTH." And as an added bonus, the ogres have also stopped getting up for midnight snacks, since the dried snake entrails are quite flavorful.

In other news, the ogres are a little bit stymied by how they can't really see at night, 'cause everything goes dark once the sun sets.

This is important, because there seems to be some sort of flying thingy that's started circling the skies above Oasis Springs at night, howling mournfully at the moon before disappearing off to into the dunes at sunrise.

The ogres are now too worried to go to the bathroom on their own when it's dark.

(Cont.)
>>
-----------------------------------------------
**Oasis Springs Ogres (temp name)**
- Population: 16/22? (-5 lent) (-1 missing)
- Landmarks: Oasis (+Fish), Underground Cave!

- Food: Fish! (Sustain- No Growth)
- ????: Huh?
- Settlement: Reinforced Rock Shanties!

- Tech: Fishing, Hats!
- ?????: Nuh?
- ????: I don' get it.
--------------------------------------
**CHOOSE ONE ACTION**
--------------------------------------
[A] Food: We got fish, now let's get... somethin' other than fish?
[B] Settlement: Is there somethin' we can do for the boys as a whole?
[C] Tech: Keep going!? Sky's da limit, boys!
[E] Unlock Category: Discovery!

[F] Investigate howling flying thingy thing. ... or try to.
[G] Write-in: Wot do?

X[D]X Examine Landmark: Don't fink we got the tools to do dat, boss!
>>
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>>21086983
... Moar?
>>
>>21087024
[C] Sticks... An' rocks... An'... sorta... usin' em?
>>
[E] Unlock Category: Discovery!
>>
[A] Food - uhhh the more food we gots, the more Ogres we can have, meaning more people to do stuff!
>>
File: 1350002223230.jpg-(149 KB, 887x900, HI BOSS!.jpg)
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Rolled 93

>>21087024

>[B] Settlement

Hi Boss!

I waz finkin.
Why don't we count all da lads dat we 'ave, so den we can know whose here, an den we can get da boys ta pro..prio..Get boys to do importen fings.

Wait. Dat wasn't what I waz finkin.

Why don't we get dem big sticky fings in da sand, an den stick dem in da big watta fingy, so we can use our fishy sticks to get fishes out in da deep parts of da watta?

(First lets do a head count-if we can count that high- then try an build a wharf/bridge out into the oasis so we can get more fish and different types of things to eat)
>>
>>21087105
I must say, I find this gentleman's line of reasoning most persuasive. I think that we need to procure a more secure source of victuals!

A.
>>
>Food

Okay, roll 'em! Taking the first result!

>***STUPID LUCKY TIME?***
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
>>
Rolled 35

>>21087251
I'm never lucky
>>
Rolled 5

>>21087251
Stoopid Lucky Time!
>>
>>21087256
>>21087260
Never change, /tg/ dice. Never change.
>>
File: 1350002681084.jpg-(173 KB, 512x512, Hey boss, whats dat fingy?.jpg)
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Rolled 78

>>21087251

Hey, What happens if I stick a fishy on me head?
Is it lik me snake 'at, or will it smell bad?
>>
Rolled 9

>>21087251

You still here OP?
>>
This is amazing, I approve of this thread.
>>
Sorry about that, had connection problems. Posting in a second, just have to format it!
>>
>Food: 35 - Ain't Too Good...

The larger ogre, clad in his finest dead-rat headpiece, eyes his fellow uncertainly. "... you sure dis is a good idea?"

The larger ogre isn't alone. All of the ogres are sitting on the oasis' shoreline, watching the grinning ogre standing before them. Each of them have the exact same expression of uncertainty on his face- and it stands to reason, because the grinning ogre just told them about this miraculous new food source...

... just so happens to be covered in big, nasty-looking thorns. Just like the thing that the grinning ogre is holding. "Yah, dis is totally a good idea, boss! These big green fings are all over da place! Green like the juicy plants back in the forest!"

"... puke is also green," the larger ogre points out, an unusual turn of wit for his kind. (An ogre sitting in the back scrunches up his face and goes "oooh," while another yells out "dat reply, it is a burn, like- like a hot thing dat is hot enough to burn!")

"Just trust me, dese fings got water in dem, and the green flesh is also juicy, too!" That said, the grinning ogre proceeds to take a huge bite out of the cactus chunk that he's holding.

... it takes five days to pry all the thorns out from his gums, but hey, at least the injured ogre kept grinning and going "Mm-mm! Tastes like hurt, pain, an' sweet fruit juice! So goodowowowow!".

(Cont.)
>>
>>21087569
>STATUS REPORT
Despite that incident, the ogres have begun adding cacti to their diets! Plucking the thorns from chunks of cactus is a fine art, though, and one that the ogres haven't mastered yet; it takes an awfully long time to prepare each piece of cactus. On top of that, the ogres have to range far and wide to collect the cacti- but it's not in high demand, so it remains a reasonably accessible snack (for masochists). Still, it adds to the store of food!

The flying, howling thingy keeps circling around Oasis Springs at night! It doesn't bother the ogres nearly as much, these days, but it's still annoying. And the ogres still do not want to go pee by themselves at night.

On the plus side, two more ogres have trickled into Oasis Springs, brought here by the lure of food! You know, despite the fact that most ogres don't have the means of sensing food from that far away, and, um.

... don't ask, it's ogres.

And speaking of which, the Scaratones have sent an envoy to Oasis Springs! The beetle-man formally requests that the ogres send a delegate (at their leisure) to meet up with his leaders, for the Scaratones have something of utmost importance to discuss.

... because it's ogres, he breaks that down to "send a brute-brother, we want talky-talky, it's important."

(Cont.)
>>
>>21087256
And I'z gotz a bad feelin about dis.
>>
>>21087593
New system for action choices- Strategy (food, tech, etc) and Quest (events, diplomacy, etc)!

-----------------------------------------------
**Oasis Springs Ogres (temp name)**
- Population: 18/24? (-5 lent) (-1 missing)
- Landmarks: Oasis (+Fish), Underground Cave (+???)

- Food: Fish, Cacti(-ow); Small Growth [+2 ogres/turn]
- ????: Huh?
- Settlement: Reinforced Rock Shanties!

- Tech: Fishing, Hats!
- ?????: Nuh?
- ????: I don' get it.
--------------------------------------
**CHOOSE ONE STRATEGY ACTION...**
--------------------------------------
[A] Food: We can make 'em bigger, better, faster, stronger.
[B] Settlement: Is there somethin' we can do for the boys as a whole?
[C] Tech: Keep going!? Sky's da limit, boys!
[E] Unlock Category: Discovery!
[F] Write-In! Wot do?
--------------------------------------
**... AND CHOOSE ONE QUEST ACTION**
--------------------------------------
[A1] Scaratones: Send an envoy!
[B1] Investigate howling flying thingy ... or try to.
[C1] Write-in: Wot do?

X[D]X Examine Landmark: Don't fink we got the tools to do dat, boss!
>>
>>21087611
C, let's get some more tech.

A1, the flying thing seems content to leave us alone for now.
>>
Find da most cunning ogre wez got!
>>
>>21087611
C. We can make things that ain't hittin' sticks?

A1. Send an envoy wearing our biggest, fanciest hat. Are they still here? They might be able to lead our envoy there, ogres aren't exactly the best at navigation.
>>
C

We should become sneaky!

West could cover yourself in sand and hide from da howly thing if it attacks. Also wez need clubs... if wez wants to bash...
>>
File: 1350004915313.png-(1020 KB, 1480x1290, LOOK AT ME FLASH HATS BOSS.png)
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Rolled 40

>>21087611

>[C] Tech.

Hey Boss, I got a great idea!

We pull the stickies dat grow around da big watta fingy, out, and den, we get the spiky fruit thingies, and we can use the stick to smash 'em open!
Den we can eat da fruity fings wifout da prickles!

Oh oh oh, we could use the snaky guts to tie the prickly bits dat we hit off the spiky food and den we can have bug spiky sticks to hit anyone dat tries to attack us, an we can save off dat big shouty night birdy!

(We use branches of any trees growing around the oasis to smash/cut open the cacti and then we take the pricks of the cacti and use them to make the clubs even more deadly! or we could use them as a deter ant against enemies, whatever you want)
>>
>>21087511
HOLY BALLS IT'S ANGRYDORF

Your civ threads are an inspiration to us all! I mean, seriously, my status screens gradually start looking more and more like the ones in your threads because they're pretty damn intuitive to use.

>>21087687
Yup, the Scaratone envoy is just patiently
chilling at scenic Oasis Springs and doing his best to avoid getting accidentally stepped on.
>>
Oh, and it's already been 'bout 10-15 minutes, so... you know what time it is.

>Tech and Scaratone

Rolling for TECH only right now, so-

>***STUPID LUCKY TIME?***
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
>>
File: 1350005278287.png-(332 KB, 900x600, ITS ME HAT!.png)
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Rolled 4

>>21087744

>Quest action
>[A]

Right, lets give da second smartest (read as: less likely to step on the bugmen) the biggest hat an' a smash stick to go talk to da Bugmen! Den he can get da lads back from does buggies.

Hey, do yah fink dat he could get more stuff from dah buggies as well? Maybe we can do stuff for dah buggies so deh good give us stuffs?
>>
Rolled 13

>>21087793
Rollan for technology
>>
Rolled 98

>>21087793
>>
>>21087825
>>21087829
AUGH

I SHOULD NOT HAVE ROLLED
>>
File: 1350005374969.jpg-(219 KB, 1739x815, These stone are sparklin boss.jpg)
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Rolled 50

>>21087793

(Jesus wept this lecture is boring, also I found some more Ogre pics for you)

Lookie what I made boss!
>>
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>>21087811
>4
>under 10

IT BEGINS
>>
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>>21087837
OH COME ON

I FORGOT TO TAKE THE FUCKING D100 OUT OF THE EMAIL

FUCK
>>
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>>21087837
OP did your internet break again?
If so, does that mean we don't have to deal with the >>21087811 role?
Please?
>>
>>21087837
I don't suppose you have a source for the original of that?
>>
File: 1350006283874.png-(254 KB, 1000x1000, 1341884164420.png)
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>Tech: 4 - IT'S OGRE

Perhaps one day, the ogres will discover fire. For many peoples, fire is the cornerstone of civilization- it brings a piece of the sun into the hearths of many, it keeps the night horrors at bay, and it opens up a whole new world of culinary possibilities.

Perhaps one day, the ogres will apply what brain cells they have to discover something quick and simple, like using rudimentary tools to scoop out cacti flesh, avoiding the thorns altogether. Or perhaps the ogres will use their discarded fish bones, snake entrails, or some other thing to stumble upon some other scientific breakthrough.

Today, however... today is the day that failure wraps so far around itself that it emerges in the light of some sort of twisted, amazingly stupid scientific brilliance.

The ogres are, once again, seated in the center of Oasis Springs, with yet another grinning, so-proud-of-his-damn-self ogre standing in the center. The larger ogre, Boss Ogre, is leaning forward with his elbow on his knee and his chin on his hand, looking less than excited. "You're that guy again, aren't you."

"Yah, boss."

"The guy who made the fishin' sticks, the dead snake ropes, an' who got a big mouthful of thorns."

"Yah, boss."

Boss Ogre sighs, drumming his fingers on his chin. "'Kay, wot you got for us now?"

The grinning ogre takes a stick in one hand.

He takes a cactus in the other.

And then he jams the pointy edge of the stick into the cactus.

"I call it da CRACK-TUS STICK."

>The ogres' faces when.
>ARMS CATEGORY UNLOCKED...??

(Cont.: Quest Portion in 15-20 minutes)
>>
>>21087960
I think it's Saten from "A Certain Scientific Railgun"/"A Certain Magical Index".
>>
>>21087960
I got it from 4chan, so... I'm about as stumped as you are, sadly.
>>
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>>21087979
YES

YES
>>
>>21087979
Dat is gonna 'urt
>>
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>>21087979
Ho lordy, this guy needs some kind of special hat for his wondrous inventions.
>>
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>>21088094
He invented the first hat. It was a snake.
I like to think that he has gone on adding hats on top of that first one, just to show how smart he is and/or because he likes putting things on his head.

Also, grabbed a trip so I can actually put down more ogre magi pics. All the previous ones have been me by the way.
>>
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>>21088094
Hes gonna be a tinkerer!
>>
>[A1] Scaratone Envoy

Pretty much as one, the ogres decide to send Boss Ogre over to the Scartones. After following him for so long (mostly on a whim), the ogres figure that he's got enough brainy meats to talk his way out of any situation, or at least enough brainy meats to figure out what the beetle-men are saying (if given helpful diagrams to follow).

It's about a three-day walk to the Scaratone's base- which is a large, orb-shaped structure that's easily as tall as the Oasis Springs rock cropping and much wider, made of some dry, smooth, beige material. Boss Ogre gawps up at the edifice, impressed despite himself.

"Just an outpost," the Scaratone leading him chitters, clearly amused by Boss Ogre's reaction. "Our seat of the Scaratone kingdom is bigger-bigger! Better, with timeless murals that would make you weep! Grand hives housing hundreds of our- h-hey, wait up!" he cries out, chasing after Boss Ogre (who'd lost interest at the word "seat").

Boss Ogre is led into the winding, paintings-covered tunnels of outpost hive through a back entrance; the front entrance is much too small for him to fit through, and even these more spacious tunnels ("For moving supplies!" the envoy chirrups) require the ogre to stoop over uncomfortably- and he has to be careful to not step on the worker caste, small pale insects lacking the shells of the other beetle-men. Boss Ogre watches, bemused, as the workers drag strange, boxy contraptions behind them, each loaded down with globs of jelly.

He stares for a moment when he realizes that the contraptions are hovering in the air, completely bereft of wheels, before the envoy shoos him along.

(Cont.)
>>
>>21088200
Eventually, Boss Ogre is brought face to face with a larger beetle-man, one half again the size of the others, with shimmering wings half-tucked into its shell. "Brute-man! Welcome to our humble hive," it buzzes excitedly, fluttering over to alight in front of Boss Ogre. "Much to discuss, we have, yes, yes. Your ogres are well-taken care of, yes, but- forget about them, we have much to discuss. So many possibilities, if only we'd known earlier-"

The winged Scaratone pauses, curbing his impatience with an effort. "How rude of me! Should let you have the first question, as you are visitor, walk-walked all this way for us, yes, yes. Anything you would like to know?"

Boss Ogre frowns to himself, straightening his classy snake-on-fish-on-rock-on-leaf hat as he thinks.

[ ] Nah, how's about you just get to da point, huh? You got me curious.
[ ] I wanna see da five guys we lent to you for dat squishin' thing!
[ ] Where're the rest of you beetle-men at? You really got a bigger hive than dis?
[ ] What's up with those floating boxy fings you got here?
[ ] Can I squish you?
[ ] Write-in.
>>
>>21088213
Ask about the floaty whatsits. No need to be confrontational.
>>
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>>21088213

Ask about the 5 guys you lent him, specifically what they got them to do and if they repaid the debt we incurred.
Then we ask if he wants to borrow some more or keep using the ones we lent them. If so what will they give us to let them keep working.

After that, see what he wants.
>>
>>21088213
[X]The floaty things
>>
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Jesus OP, is your internet still shitting itself or are you just doing something else?
>>
>>21088213
>[X] What's up with those floating boxy fings you got here?

"Oh, so you show an interest in the Featherstone carts?" The winged beetle-man swells with pride. "Ingenious application of Scaratone science, that is! Refinement, yes, refinement of certain stones that we mine out from beneath the desert sands. Science far beyond the reach of the brute-men's mind, we think! That should be of no interest to you," he adds, waving a hand dismissively.

Boss Ogre furrows his brow, having missed about half of the Scaratone's words. "... wot's mining?"

"... case in point, I think, yes." The winged Scaratone chitters for a second, straightening back up. "In any case, I'm certain we can arrange for the giving of a few carts to you! Shiny-shiny carts, yes, you might like. Gift of goodwill, maybe?"

Boss Ogre blinks. "Wot, really? Just like that?"

"Why, yes, of course! Let it be known that the grand Scaratones are kind to those less fortunate than them, yes."

The larger ogre scratches his head, going cross-eyed once more as he considers this... deal?

[ ] Yes! Gimme da loot, we'll take it!
[ ] Nah, we'll pass. Somethin' smells, tho' it's probably me.
[ ] Hmmm. Wot, did you just want me to come all dis way so you could give me loot?
[ ] Wait! An' wot about our five boys?
[ ] Write-in! Wot do?
>>
>>21088433
[X] Wait! An' wot about our five boys?

"Is you tryin to give me these carts because sumthin happened to da boys we lent yous."
>>
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>>21088433

Alright, we can use them cause....somehow. (Maybe we can use them to keep food in/use them to store stuff in, if we star digging out that hole we found under the Oasis)

But where are the Ogres we lent you? Have they worked of the debt we owed them or what? And if they did, what would you give us to let them keep working with you?

Also, do you want a hat? We have lots of them.
>>
>>21088470
This
By the way op this is a pretty enteraining quest
>>
>>21088433
[C]
Su'm gives me an idear like you want what's we got, too.
>>
Wait a second
>Rocks make carts go up
>Waterfall goes up
>Rocks make waterfall go up!
>>
>>21088601

dats sum finkin
>>
>>21088601
Thats stupid! Water is not rocks!
>>
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>>21088433
>[X] Wait! An' wot about our five boys?
>[X] An' you want somethin' from us, right?
>[X] IS IT HATS, I BET IT'S TOTALLY HATS

"What? N-No, no, nothing like that!" The Scaratone wrings his hands, clearly distressed about something. "Forget about your brute-brethren, they are perfectly alright, working hard-hard- and you can keep your hat, it will not fit on our heads-"

"You sure?" Boss Ogre says persistently, holding out his snake-on-fish-on-rock-on-leaf hat. "I got extras back home."

"... r-really, it's okay." The Scaratone sniffs. "It smells like it's going bad-bad, anyway. Now, look, we DID have to dispose of one ogre, but that's not why we "

"YOU KILLED ONE OF MY BOYS!?" roars Boss Ogre, rising to 2/3rds of his full height before his head slams into the ceiling- not that that diminishes the force of his glare one bit.

"I-It was- we had to!" wails the Scaratone, all traces of his composure gone as he cowers. "He- he went crazy, just like-"

"HOOBY PUMPKIN SCHWEEBLE WORBLE NYARGH," bellows the giant mutated massively-muscled purple ogre that rams straight through the wall and charges straight out the other side, causing untold amounts of property damage.

Boss Ogre and the winged Scaratone stare as bits and pieces of the walls settle around them in wake of the mutant's rampage.

"... j-just like that."

[ ] Stay and interrogate the fuck out of the Scaratone. WHAT THE HELL DID YOU GUYS DO
[ ] Chase after the giant mutated massively-muscled purple ogre. WE GOTTA STOP HIM
>>
>>21088687
[X] Stay and interrogate the fuck out of the Scaratone. WHAT THE HELL DID YOU GUYS DO
>>
[x] Chase after the giant mutated massively-muscled purple ogre. WE GOTTA STOP HIM

DATZ OUR BOY, WE GOTZ TO SAV HIM!
>>
>>21088687
[X ] Chase after the giant mutated massively-muscled purple ogre. WE GOTTA STOP HIM
>>
>>21088687
First things first, WE GOTTA KEEP THESE ANIMALS IN LINE

[B] chase after him and smack him upside the head.

This little bugger better have a damn good explanation for this.
>>
[X] Grab and carry the leader to interrogate him along while chasing the mutant.
>>
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Rolled 63

>>21088687

First we stop that rampaging Ogre. We should use dip...diplo...talkin ta stomp 'im an' if dat don't work, den we crump 'im.

Then, we get dem bug boys ta tell us what he did ta our lads or we krump 'im too!
>>
>>21088687
>[ ] Chase after the ogre while interrogating the Scaratone.

"There's a perfectly good explanYAGH!"

Boss Ogre wastes absolutely no time, picking up the winged Scaratone and carrying him under one arm before lurching after the mutant ogre. Unsurprisingly, the huge guy left behind a tunnel all by himself, so following him is really quite easy.

"P-Put me down, brute-man, you're going to-"

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU GUYS DO!?" Boss Ogre roars, not bothering to look at the winged Scaratone. "Dat ain't ogre-like at all! Ogres aren't purple! Only purple things I know are grapes and peoples' faces when you accidentally step on their balls!" He pauses. "And NO one steps on an ogre's balls wit'out gettin' squished like a bug!!"

"N-No, it's just- they got into the royal jelly!!" the Scaratone wails, struggling futilely. "W-We feed it only to the hardiest of our larvae, so that they will-"

"Okay t'anks for da explanation g'bye," and Boss Ogre casually tosses the winged Scaratone back over one shoulder in order to concentrate on running more.

(Cont.)
>>
>>21088915
The exit of the hive is a complete and total mess; strange, thin papery sheets with writing on them flutter everywhere, floating carts lie shattered in pieces, and a few warrior-caste Scaratones lie trampled underfoot. The mutant ogre is surrounded by more scimitar-wielding beetle-men, who look (understandably) reluctant to close in on the gibberish-screaming monster.

Boss Ogre stomps out of the hive, straightening up to his full height and gloriously failing to hit his head on any ceiling. "OI!"

The mutant turns, his head and vein-lined neck ludicrously tiny on his gigantically-muscled shoulders.

"STAND DOWN! You may be da bigger ogre," Boss Ogre snarls, bracing his feet against the ground and cracking his knuckles. "But I'm still da boss, so you better listen to me!"

In response, the mutant ogre lunges forward with a screech, hurling a punch so fast that it blurs through the air.

>***STUPID LUCKY TIME?***
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
FIRST THREE RESULTS
>>
Rolled 56

>>21088918
I should probably not roll for this

hey, whatevs
>>
Rolled 44

>>21088918
Please be solved by bro hug
>>
>>21088928
not a bad a roll!

not a great one but not a bad one
better than the next guy
>>21088939

hope it was enough
>>
Rolled 56

>>21088918
>>
Rolled 33

Rolling
>>
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>>21088951
>>21088928
>>
>>21088911
OP does this roll count?
>>
>>21088977
Nope, it came before the roll call!

... this is actually a good thing
>>
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Rolled 53

>>21088918

BOSS
OGRE
PUNCH
>>
This thread is great. Best quest since Lord Quest. Good Job OP.

Kick da big purple 'un in da squishy bits!
>>
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>>21088918
>56 + 44 + 56 = 156/300. Just barely enou-
>~56~ LUCKY DOUBLES ~56~

Perhaps in another timeline, Boss Ogre wouldn't have been able to weather such a blow, and he would be knocked out while the Scaratones spear the mutant ogre to death.

Perhaps in yet another timeline, Boss Ogre would just barely guard against the punch in time, convincing the mutant ogre to grudgingly stand down and accompany Boss Ogre back home.

Here and now, though...

For the combatants, time almost seems to slow down. Boss Ogre stares down the incoming fist almost contemptuously, cocking his own arm back with ease, before twisting at the waist and drawing on his own muscled bulk.

Two punches scream through the air before meeting in the middle with a sonorous thunderclap as knuckles slam against knuckles, the resultant backlash kicking up a gale-force wind that swirls around the battlefield and obscures all from view. The Scaratone warriors drop their scimitars to cover their eyes, sand and bits of destroyed hive flaying at their arms, and the black wind howls.

... and then all is silent, as the two combatants stand in a frozen tableau of ogre vs. ogre, boss vs. mutant upstart.

Slowly, like an impending avalanche, the mutant ogre slides to collapse in a heap, a low groan wheezing out from his mouth before he hits the ground. Boss Ogre straightens up, shaking out his punchin' hand while readjusting his glorious cap.

"... like a boss," he grunts.

>Mutant Ogres Tamed!
(Cont.)
>>
>>21089225

"... ogre poop?" Boss Ogre says incredulously.

Some minutes later, he's holding another impromptu meeting with the winged Scaratone, this time out in the open; all four mutants (the remnants of the five ogres sent to work for the beetle-men) stand behind Boss Ogre, cowed into submission by his amazing combat prowess. All around them, worker Scaratones have already started rebuilding the hive, rolling up balls of some... strange brown substance that do not smell good in the sun.

"Ogre manure," the winged Scaratone clarifies, nodding easily. For some reason, he's become a LOT more tractable after that display of raw ogre masculinity, and there's more respect and less condescension in his tone and choice of words. "Us Scaratone, we use the leavings of other creatures to build- AND we use it as a source of food, you see! Worker caste processes it into jelly. Highly efficient! As long as beasts roam the desert, Scaratone will never starve," he adds proudly.

Boss Ogre frowns more deeply. "... you eat ogre POOP?"

"Well, you see..." The winged Scaratone lowers his voice to a reverent hush. "We didn't know, but YOUR leavings... it becomes ROYAL jelly much more easily! Fortified food fit for our glorious royal caste, raises good strong queens from the larvae!"

Boss Ogre scrunches up his nose, never one to let go of a point easily. "... you eat OGRE poop?"

The winged Scaratone throws up his hands in resignation. "Yes, yes, we eat ogre poop. So, ah... we do not wish to kill you, per se. Was thinking of keeping you around as sla- ah, to harvest your leavings, but..." He nods to himself. "Had no idea. Brute-men are truly brute-warriors. Would be honored to take your leavings!"

(Cont.)
>>
>>21089259

Boss Ogre ponders this. Oh, the possibilities...

[ ] Sure, we'll give you our poop. We're all happy!
[ ] Wot will you give us for it? (WRITE-IN FOR TRADING)
[ ] No, we ain't givin' you our poop, you guys killed one of me boys!
[ ] Write-in for other possibilities!
>>
>>21089264
[x] Wot will you give us for it?
Make them make us non-poop houses and also demand repayment for our dead boy.
>>
ALSO, back in 15, taking a shower!
>>
>>21089264
Purple Mutie went crazy, squishy bug men couldn't help it. They are tiny and squishy. Not their fault.

[x] Wot will you give us for it?
They don't want hats (weird bugz) but they want poop. We can work with this.
>>
>>21089264
[X ] Wot will you give us for it?
Establishing mutually beneficial trade could work wonders for the often incompetent ogre tribe
>>
>>21089315
>>21089300
I agree with these guys.
>>
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Rolled 12

>>21089343
Make them trow in some of those floating carts for us-so we can mess around with them and use them to transport the stuff to them- along with anything the want to trade.

Also
WE CAPTAIN FALCON NOW MOTHERFUCKERS
Seriosuly, we ned to catch a Falcon and wear it as a hat to show our amazing strength.
>>
>>21089264
[x] Wot will you give us for it?

Hey, as long as it's regular trade and it's more useful than poop, they're welcome to make an offer.

All's well that ends well, I guess.
>>
>>21089398
>>21089398
Or maybe catch the flying howling thing and it as a hat.
>>
Wots in it fer us?
>>
>>21089451
>>21089427
I liked your first sentence better
>>
>>21089451
And all these hats started with my one post

Get food and make hats
>>
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whats next we become the ogre version of mann co?
>>
Back, and writing up the post! Consensus seems to be "wot you got for us?" and pressing them for information, so here we go.
>>
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>>21089509
We sell poop and get in fights?
>>
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>>21089509
>ogres find australium
>>
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>>21089555
and wear fancy hats!
>>
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>>21089577
Nah, Ogres poop it, thats why the shit is so valuable to the Bugmen!
>>
>>21089264
>[X] Wot will you give us for it?
>[X] And throw in some of them floating carts.

"Well, you know." Boss Ogre crosses his arms, as implacable as a rock. "The boys an' I, we work real hard to make that poop. Gruntin' an' sweatin', all that stuff. Prolly 'cause of what we all gotta eat out here."

The winged Scaratone nods, as if he'd expected this. "Yes, yes, perhaps you'd like our papyrus? Very good paper, you can write... things on it!" He pauses. "Can you write?"

"... yes, but it gives me gas?" Boss Ogre hazards, his poker face still totally going strong. "What else you got?"

"Featherstone carts, perhaps-"

"Hey! You was gonna give us dem for free!"

"- erk." The winged Scaratone holds up his hands in a placating manner. "O-Of course, we'll add a few of them as a gesture of goodwill, yes-yes. We can supply, ah... other foods of the desert? Not manure," he adds hastily, cutting off Boss Ogre's protest before it starts.

Boss Ogre thinks this over, scratching his chin. "... wot else you got?"

The Scaratone flutters his wings anxiously. "... brute-warrior, we are completely different beings, we cannot possibly have that much in common. What else could we possibly give you that you would want-want? Labor? The teachings of our people...? Writing, how to make paper? Or how to harvest stones from the earth...?"

Boss Ogre... settles his cap farther down onto his brow.

>TRADE for Ogre ... "Leavings"
- Featherstone Carts
PLUS TWO OF:
[ ] Paper
[ ] New Food Type
[ ] Art
[ ] TECH: Writing (+Tools)
[ ] TECH: Mining (+Tools)
[ ] TECH: Paper-making (NO RAW MATS)
>>
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>>21089605
The WC3 alchemist is so much better looking.
>>
>>21089642
[X] TECH: Mining (+Tools)
[X] New Food Type
>>
>>21089663
Seconding this.
>>
[X]Mining tools
[X]New food type
>>
Eatin's and mining! Dats the way to do it!
>>
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>>21089663

I second this.
Say, could we get them to teach us how to *PLANT* some new food?

Maybe mushrooms to grow in the cavern we have underneath the Oasis.
Beside, Mushrooms are full of fibre or something, so they'd get extra good 'leavings' if do eat them.
>>
>>21089642
Food and mining - we're not quite big enough to warrant communications or record keeping.

Assure the little buggsies that more food means more poop, and their extra concessions will not go unrequited.
>>
>>21089642
[]TECH: Mining
[]TECH: Writing

Let's facve it, we're ogres. Paper won't work. We can write in the rocks we dig out. If we go deep enough below our water source, we'll find rocks. We can continue from there.
>>
>>21089729
Something as momentous as agriculture will require a Tech action.

Also, looks like it's TECH: Mining and New Food Type. Starting to type post now!
>>
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>>21089783

Well its definitely something to work towards.
With mining we can begin to carve out Mushroom pits to grow our own food.
Of course, that raises problems with how we fertilize them? We'd have to spilt our 'droppings' between that and the Bugmen.

Also, can we carve out some of the rocks to build better rock shanties? Mainly because I don't trust the Ogres to not flood them selves carving out homes beneath an Oasis.
>>
>>21089864
You forget, Ogres lucky.
>>
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>>21089913
Or extremely unlucky.
Or extremely stupid.
Or some god decides that it'd be hilarious to dick over the Ogres again.

Also, it is so much easier to find Warcraft 3 Alchemist pictures than DotA 2 pictures.
>>
OP
are you still there?
>>
>>21089642
>[X] Featherstone Carts
>[X] New Food Type
>[X] TECH: Mining (+Tools)

The winged Scaratone tilts his head to the side, a strange gesture that Boss Ogre can't really interpret. "Is not a bad trade, yes," he trills, really getting into the trading mindset. "You mentioned you had, ah... digestive problems, yes? We grow-grow a kind of fungus! ... I mean, mushrooms," he adds, in response to Boss Ogre's stymied expression. He rubs his hands together gleefully. "Gladly trade to you, yes!"

"An' someone to teach us how to dig inna ground," Boss Ogre adds. Because really, it would be easier if they didn't have to LOOK for the rocks they'd need to build their rock shanties.

The hand-rubbing stops. "... that might be time consuming...?"

"Nah, dis way, if you don't worry 'bout your worker guys gettin' squished, we won't worry 'bout our fifth pal gettin' squished," Boss Ogre grunts.

"Of course, of course," the winged Scaratone recovers gamely. "Laws are sacred, but trade is divine, yes." He raises one hand and snaps two of his three fingers together, and a worker beetle-man appears, parchment and quill at the ready. "Write-write trade agreement! Three copies, if you please- one for us, one for brute-warriors, and one to send back to the Imperial Broodmother. Quick-quick!"

And so begins the very first trade agreement between the Ogres and the Scaratone races.

... and somehow, they made it through with a minimum of bloodshed on either side, aside from some gratuitous property damage.

(Cont.)
>>
>>21090097
>STATUS REPORT
First and foremost, well... the crack-tus sticks are a huge hit among the ogres, who have just invented their very first weapon! (May the deities have mercy on us all.) Preliminary testing shows that the weapons don't stand up to well to repeated use because of how hard the ogres flail them, but on the plus side, the cactus part EXPLODES upon breaking, showering the enemy with delicious pulp and horrifyingly sharp thorns. And the ogre is still left with a nice hittin' stick! (Unless it breaks.)

More importantly, the ogres now have a continual trading agreement with the Scaratone beetle-men! True to their word, it's but a few days before worker Scaratone show up at Oasis Springs, carting in mushrooms, mining tools, and delicious, delicious mining knowledge in hovering wheel-less Featherstone carts! Unsurprisingly, the ogres seem to take quite well to hitting rocks as hard as they can with the picks, though the Scaratone promise to bring slightly larger picks on the next shipment. Half of the carts stay with the ogres, while the other half is used to take back steaming heaps of ogre manure. Everyone is happy!

- yes, even the four mutant ogres, who seem to be content to let the Boss Ogre order them around.

In other news, strangely enough, the flying howling thing seems to have left, at least for now. The ogres are sleeping better at night, though the smarter ones are slightly worried about what this could mean in the future.

Still, the ogres are eating better than ever before, and more of them are trickling into the Oasis Springs settlement. After all the action in the past few weeks, the ogres are enjoying a lull; for now, they have a good amount of free time, and a lot of new toys to play with.

... ogres, free time, and new toys are always a dangerous combination.
(Cont.)
>>
>>21090110
-----------------------------------------------
**Oasis Springs Ogres (temp name)**
-----------------------------------------------
- Population: 26/27? (-1 missing) (4 mutants)
- Resources: Oasis (+Fish), Underground Cave (+???)
- Diplomacy: Scaratone [Featherstone Carts, Fungi]

- Food: Fish, Cacti(-ow), Fungi; Fair Growth [+4 ogres/turn]
- Arms: Cactus Maces; Berserkers (4)
- Settlement: Reinforced Rock Shanties!

- Tech: Mining, Fishing, Hats!
- ?????: Nuh?
- ????: I don' get it.
--------------------------------------
**CHOOSE TWO STRATEGY ACTIONS**
--------------------------------------
[A] Food: We doin' okay, boss!
[B] Settlement: How 'bout we build stuff for us all?
[C] Tech: Keep going!? Sky's da limit, boys!
[D] Examine Landmark: [MINING] Ogres vs. Caves, go!
[E] Unlock Category: Discovery!
[F] Write-In! Wot do?
>>
D! its time to make bigger caves!
>>
>>21090092
Argh, sorry about that; it was taking a LONG time for the first post to go through, for some reason, so I had to refresh the window a few times.
>>
>>21090119
[D]
>>
>>21090119
B and D
>>
>>21090119
[D]Examine Landmark: [Mining]. Let's do this. God knows what's down there. Maybe we'll find shiny stuff. Or magic. Magic rocks.

[C]: Tech. God only knows what we can come up with - or the small one, more specifically - to improve our lot. More food, bigger maces, better mining, some use aside from housing for the rocks..
>>
>>21090119
Wait a second two actions
Then [C] also
>>
>>21090119
I have an [F]: Exploration. We send a trio of ogres who are to stick together and find shiny things.
>>
C: Tech
and
E: Discovery
>>
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Rolled 87

>>21090119

>[D]
>[B]

Oooohhh Oooohh
Boss! Boss!

I gots a great idea!

Why don't we go and do the rock smashin diggy fingy and see what we can dig out?

Den, we take da rocks we smashed, then use dem big leafy fings dat are on da sticks 'round the watta, and use 'em to make betta 'ouses? Wif dat insa....insu...makin da 'ouses warma!

(Go do some digging around the Oasis, then take the rocks to build new houses, with some big leaves of the various plants around the Oasis to insulate the houses to keep them warm during the night)

Also
>Rolling for a new hat for our glorious leader
>>
>>21090119
[B] Let's build a big meeting place right by the base of the moniment!
[D] Ooh, shiny!
>>
Okay! Examine Landmark wins by a landslide, but I'm going to need a TIEBREAKER between

>Settlement
>Tech

Vote between them!
>>
>>21090339
-- and in the meantime, I'll write up the Examine Landmark post.
>>
B and D. Mine, and then make houses out of mined rock.

Jesus Christ it's like Ogre minecraft.
>>
>>21090339
Tech. It has done great things for us so far.
>>
>>21090339
Settlement!
>>
>>21090339
Tech, tech, tech.
We need better kit than our rock houses and cactus gear. More tech from the small ogre means better stuff. We've already got four huge purple mining machines for expanding the settlement.
>>
Rolled 57

>>21090388
Let 'em roll!
>>
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Rolled 82

>>21090344
But do we get a new hat?

Oh and I vote Settlement.

>Rolling for even bigger and flashier hat
>>
Rolled 22

R
>>
Rolled 64

>>21090388
rolling
>>
Rolled 15

>>21090403
>>21090404
>57 and 82
Niiice
>>
>>21090388
... whoops, deleted that post. Sorry about that!

ANYWAY, what I said there was
>[X] Examine Landmark: [MINING]
>[X] Settlement

and

>***STUPID LUCKY TIME?***
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)

So the results are:

Examine Landmark: 57
Settlement: 82

Writing post now!
>>
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Rolled 18

>>21090298
>>21090404

GLORIOUS HATS
ONE MORE TIME

>EVEN BIGGER HATS
>EVEN BETTER HATS
>>
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>>21090404
>>21090456
YES

HATS
>>
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>>21090493
Come now, these are ogres. They need ogre hats.
>>
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Rolled 14

>>21090524
This is an ogre hat.
>>
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Rolled 56

>>21090549
NAY

THIS IS AN OGRE HAT

>Cactus helmets

(OP can you come back now? I'm running out of hats)
>>
>>21090119
>>21090119
>Examine Landmark: 57 - Okay!

"A'right, boys," Boss Ogre growls. "I chose you 'cuz you're the biggest, the baddest, and the b-strongest guys we've got."

The Boss Ogre and the four mutant ogres stand in the small cave underneath Oasis Spring's rock pillar, ignoring the spray of the mysteriously upward-flowing stream. With the added, terrifyingly muscular bulk of the mutants, the space feels even smaller than it did before.

Boss Ogre hefts his stone pickaxe, trying not to fixate on the strange, strange fact that he probably bought it with his very own poop. "So just remember what da nice beetle-men taught you, okay?"

"WOOF I AM A BANANA."

There's a moment of silence.

"... close enough," Boss Ogre mutters, hefting his pickaxe. "Let 'er rip!" Within moments, the small cave reverberates with the sounds of stone crunching and chipping, punctuated only by the occasional "FUCK SHIT OW" when one of the diggers gets too enthusiastic for his own good.

(Cont.)
>>
>>21090674
A few hours later, Boss Ogre leads them back up to the surface for a break and a drink, taking the opportunity to study the rocks they've found so far. He squats down and runs his fingers through the chunks, picking them out from each other.

There's the usual tan-colored sandy stone that they've been using the whole time, and in bloody abundance. Boss Ogre grunts. No surprises there.

He picks up the next few rocks. There's... some sort of chunky dark gray rock that he can't make heads or tails of. And some strange gray shiny rocks, too. Boss Ogre makes a note to ask the Scaratones what they think the next time they come around.

And then there's the next few stones, the fewest in the pile, which are way too light to be real. Boss Ogre tosses a few of them up into the air- and then watches as they waft back down slowly.

Boss Ogre grins. Looks like the beetle-men were right about one thing: this desert really DOES have Featherstone.

**LANDMARK RESOURCES GAINED:**
>Sandstone (∞)
>??? Gray Ore (Some)
>??? Shiny Ore (Some)
> Featherstone (Limited)

(Cont.)
>>
>>21090697
>Found featherstone
I knew it
>>
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>>21090697
>Featherstone
>Lots of Sandstone

Let the house building commence!
>>
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>>21090697
Sorry, guys, gonna have to cut it short tonight- I have to get up early tomorrow, so I have to sleep (or else I'm kind of screwed).

In the meantime, I might as well use this opportunity: guys, we need names! Please decide on names for three things:
>The Oasis Springs Landmark/Settlement
>This Ogre Civ
>Boss Ogre

If we get a consensus in this thread, I'll use 'em starting from next thread. We'll pick up on Saturday (10/13) at 7-8 pm EST, with
>Settlement: 82 - GREAT!

Archived this thread at the usual place- http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Ogre%20Civilization%20Quest
Hope you guys enjoyed this thread tonight, and thanks for participating! If you got any suggestions about pacing etc, I'd love to hear 'em.
>>
>>21090751
"Ogir Plase"
"Lodda ogurs"
>>
>Boss Ogre
How about we name him Kromgol?
>>
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>>21090751
Its going pretty well I think, although I'd like to see some internal actions within the Ogre Oasis

Like Ogres trying to create some concept of 'Justice' after someone gets in a fight or something

Also, I know what I'm going to roll for next thread
Sand, crushed rocks and water, what does that make? CONCRETE!

That and I'm running low on Ogre pictures to use so I'll have to go hunting for some more.
>>
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>MFW it was my write in suggestion that led to the lending of the ogres and this totally excellent plot arc

Blorp, whoever you are, I love you.
>>
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>>21090831
Ooh, true, I've been having the ogres as kind of... mellow. And mostly reacting to outside threats. ffff I KNEW I forgot something Well, their numbers ARE swelling, so we'll probably be seeing some inter-ogre conflicts starting to pop up!

>>21090864
That's the fun part about quests: seriously, you never know where they lead to. A quest isn't anything without solid participation, so thank YOU!


Also, for anyone who's curious, here's a rough estimate of the roll table I'm using (which is kind of important, since dumb luck is meant to be a really big part of this civ game):

>Any Doubles: STUPID LUCKY
>100: SO BRILLIANT IT'S STUPID
>90-98: Stupidly Successful
>60-90: Successful
>40-60: Adequate
>10-40: Not So Good
>2-10: SO STUPID THAT IT'S BRILLIANT
>1: LUCKY STUPID

... so yeah, gods help the ogres if they ever get a 100 or a 1.
>>
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>>21090968
I wanna see the Ogres react to something so terrifyingly unknown to them, that it'll throw the entire community off balance.
I speak of OGRE CHILDREN

Also, I thought I got that table right, especially following the 'CRACK-TUS STICK' moment.
>>
>>21090968
I have to wonder, what about the possibility of getting triples?

I have to imagine that is some reality warping shit right there. Well, more than what is already going on.
>>
>>21090779
What does everyone think of these names?
>>
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>>21093896
I do like Plase since I was going to suggest something similar.
>>
Boss ogre: Crunchgut FistBuster

Settlement name: Toe of da lucky god

Civ: Sand snake tribe


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