>>21086394
Yumy, boobie plate

>>21086394
It was a hot summers day. Lilly had dragged us out to hang out about the town. She had also roped Kuro and Belle into her plan for the day. Marick was sick as a dog and wasn’t up for two bubbly girls pestering him. So there the five of us were walking through the streets of Teegee. When two burly looking merc types bumped into Lilly. Looked like intentionally to me, must not have been from around here. One had bumped in such a way that his hand had ended up in a precarious situation. Lilly gave the guy a mean look. The guy started to speak.

“Sorry lady. No harm, no foul. Right?” He said as sleazy as a used camel salesman.

Jim stepped up from behind the crowd.

“Take your hand off my wife sir, before I remove it for you.”

“Hey, buddy. Back the fuck off.”

“It’s alright James, no need for violence. Let me handle this.” Lilly said with a grin like a cat with a jar full of mice.

“This sounds like fun.” Kuro quietly whispered to Belle.

The man grew wide eyed and fell to the ground, then his buddy joined him.

“Lilly what the hell did you do to them? They were assholes sure. But come on, don’t you think that’s a bit much?” I yelled at Lilly.

“Slavers. They deserve worse. We have bigger problems anyway. Tanash is heading into a trap.” Lilly said picking up one of the men. “Jim would you be so kind as to grab the other.”

Jim picked the other guy up.

“Lilly not meaning to harp, but what did you do to them? They’re catatonic.”

“Shared. The ones who like to give hate to receive.”

“Who cares what happened to them anyway.” Belle said slightly incensed.

“Don’t really. Just curious, never seen that trick before.” Jim replied.

“What are we going to do with them?” Kuro asked.

>>21086538
“Throw them to the guard and then go help Shackles. Or maybe use them as dungeon decoration.” Lilly said as not bothering to look back as she walked.

We dropped the vagabonds off with the nearest guardsman and we booked it out of Teegee, only stopping briefly to grab our gear and horses.

We rode off after Shacklesbane as fast as we could, but he had a good half day start.

“You know Lilly, everytime I do something like this and don’t tell the council beforehand they get pissed.” Jim shouted over the thunder of hooves.

“They’re just mad because they never get out and have any fun like us.” Kuro shouted back.

“Though they would never admit so. Also, why are you shouting?” Lilly thought to everyone.

“Too many westerns.” Jim thought back.

>>21086545

Hard to believe its been over 6 years since we came to this world huh? Just 6 years to build a small nation. It’s one thing to say we are our own sovereign state, another thing entirely to actually be recognized as one. We have a castle, a city, towns, shops of every sort. Hell, we even have a school now, a University not too far from the walls with plans to build up around that as well. If you had told any one of us 6 years ago that we would build to this from freezing our asses off with nothing but the clothes on our backs, you would have been thought mad.

Now? We can’t seem to expand fast enough. Sometimes when I came back from a trip, I would find myself getting lost in parts of town that hadn’t even existed when I had left. Almost as hard for myself to believe was the fact I had been wandering the land freeing slaves as I went for nearly 5 years. Broke enough slaves out that there's probably going to be a check box for it if we ever have a census form.

Things were still going fantastic with my waifu Soraya, even considering the honeymoon from hell. Almost 3 years now since I found her, we still didn’t have any kids of our own. The doc said that whatever she was afflicted with would likely be passed on, so we were looking into adopting whenever I got back from a trip. She has seemingly gotten past being self conscious about her new body, but I can tell not being able to have healthy children still bothers her greatly. Still very supportive of what I do, for obvious reasons, though I have to admit I have been dragging my heels between trips now for a few reasons.

>>21086976

The most obvious among them was I got to spend more time with Soraya, though not all of them were selfish. The more slaves I freed and slavers I killed, the less slavers I could find with less slaves I could free. Eliminating most of the low level slavers had pushed the slave market further underground into the hands of crime lords, mafias and the like who could protect themselves from a single vigilante. Essentially, the more slaves I freed the harder the next ring was to crush out.

I still had a few things going in my favour, but even those seemed to be disappearing one by one. I still had my usual bag of tricks like disguises, multiple near perfect accents, and a shitload of money in every denomination. The most important factor on my side was slowly being washed away, my anonymity. We still don’t know how the Mirthterrans learned my name when we received the notice intended for a Mirthan town crier, but I was now technically a wanted man in Mirthterrah. Thankfully that’s all they had so far, but it was only a matter of time before they got more than my name.

Like I said before, it was getting harder and harder to pull off jobs safely and cleanly. After a conversation at the Rogue Trader I had been doing some thinking. If I could recruit some help we could dismantle some of the rings I couldn’t handle alone. Most of the groups I had intel on fell under that category nowadays. I resolved to discuss it with the council when I got back from my next trip. I had gotten a tip about a new setup in a town along the northern coast of Mirthterrah, so I was heading up there to investigate and if possible end it.

>>21086993
Two weeks later I have arrived in Altersa, disguised as a Mirther carrying Mirthan coin. Towns with access to the sea usually developed in a pretty uniform way, so I headed toward the water where the markets and seedier business take place. I spent the day shopping around, through the stalls and storefronts for clues and casing the usual places. Near dusk I found a place that fit the bill. A large warehouse along the dock with a guard posted at the door, with large covered containers being brought in every few hours periodically from a nearby ship. Of course it could just a warehouse full of mundane goods, but the only way to know for sure was to get inside.

I approached the man guarding the door with some coins palmed in my hand. Seeing me coming, one hand gripped the blade at his side while the other stretched out, signalling me to halt.

“What the hell ya think yer doin’?” He spat.

“Just here to browse the goods inside.”

“You wanna see goods turn around an go to tha market.” He growled.

Revealing the coins in my hand, I said

“I believe I won’t find the things I am looking for in the market.”

Snatching the money from my hand he held the door open for me, flashing me a smile full of broken teeth. Now inside the poorly lit building, I could get a good look at what they were transporting inside before. Dozens of cages of all sizes lines the walls, all empty save one. With this many cages they must have been preparing a large scale operation, probably to fill the vacuum I was creating.

The one occupied cage held a single human woman. A pretty, if dirty looking thing, she seemed to be in surprisingly good shape considering. The lithe brunette in tattered clothes looked up as I approached, eye widening only for a moment. I glanced around one last time to make sure we were alone when I began to whisper.

“Hey, you okay in there?”

“I’m okay, who’re you?”

“Don’t worry about that, know if anyone else is in here somewhere?”

“I don’t think so, but I think they plan on grabbing a lot more soon.”

“Alright, you hang in there just a bit longer okay?” I assured her as I started back towards the door.

I knocked on the door to get the man outsides attention. When he opened the door I began

“Looks good, where’s your bos-

THUNK

My legs giving out from under me as I lost consciousness, the last thing I saw before blacking out was the grin full of ruined teeth.

>>21087026
We had rode hard and long the past few days to get to where Shacklesbane had been going, and I felt every minute of it.

“Jim dear, you really should set up a gate to Mirthterrah. Haven’t been this sore since. Well the first time it was just me and Lilly.”

“Can’t the press. By press I mean the church. They would be on it like black on a watermelon.”

“But watermelons are green.” Belle said confused.

“That’s the point.” Responded Kuro.

“So how do we find the find him?” I asked.

“Well, I was planning on using the old I have a question play.” Jim said.

“I like that one. But what about the city shuffle?” Said Lilly.

“Not enough confusion to begin with for that one.” Jim told her.

“How about the fire drill?” I added.

“Can you please tell me what you’re talking about?” Belle asked.

“Fire drill and I have a question?” Lilly threw in.

“I like it. Girls, we are going to a bar!” Jim said making his way to the nearest bar.

“I still don’t have a clue what’s going on.” Belle said.

“Don’t worry and just follow my lead.” I told her.

Belle turned to me with a worried look. “Ok... I’ll trust you on this one.”

The first bar was not nearly disreputable enough so we looked for a slightly more dangerous locale. We entered and I could feel the eyes turning onto us. I grabbed Kuro and Belle, and whispered to them, “Help me make sure no one goes out the door.”

“Hey ya’ll. Just got into town and I have a question for all ya. DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE SLAVERS BE?” Jim shouted above the crowd.

Things got real quiet. A big man got up from his chair and moved in front of Jim.

“Get out.”

“Well, shoot mister just want a drink and some women. No need to get all bitchy.”

“Last time, leave.”

“Fine, one drink first.” Jim said pushing past and making his way to the bar.

He grabbed a bottle from the bartender.

>>21087173
“So like I was saying ya know were they be? No well I bet someone do.” Jim bashed the bottle on the guy’s head, sending glass and alcohol flying.

This was enough to send the people of the bar into a frenzy for Jims head. Jim used his old sonic boom spell knocking a few men back and shattering most of the bottles behind the bar.

“I’m a blizzard harry. Now like I said last time. I got two questions. Are you the one who killed my friend and or do you know where the slaves be. No well then. FUCK ALL YA.”

Things turned to a brawl some trying to get out, some trying to get Jim. Jim had taken to throwing any bottles that hadn’t broken into the crowd. The last bottle he overturned and started spilling around him.

“Baby, Light My Fire.”

Lilly threw a fireball at the back wall. Sending it up in flames that quickly spread across the spilled liquor.

“OK NOW MOTHER FUCKERS. YOU CAN EITHER STAY HERE AND BURN OR TELL ME WHAT I WANT TO KNOW.” Jim shouted like a madman.

Me, Lilly, Kuro, and Belle had our hands full keeping all the people in. Kuro proved handy with her flame breath, good for crowd control. Jim was working his way through the crowd toward us. Grabbing a guy asking him, “Where they be?” and punching them in the face when they said nothing. Finally Jim found a talker towards the end. I think it might have had to do with the large piles of unconscious bodies with the fire edging closer by the second.

“Ok, ok I’ll tell you what you want to know. I don’t know who killed your friend. But, but I do know a guy who deals with slaves. Everyone calls him Broke Tooth due to his busted ass teeth. I can take you to him. Just don’t leave me to die.” The guy begged.

>>21087194
“Lilly if you would be so kind as to stop the illusion.” Jim said.

Lilly snapped her fingers and everything was back to normal.

We walked out of the building with the guy in tow.

“That was all an illusion? Scared them real good, even had me thinking it was real.” Belle said, in between laughs.

“All of it except for me acting crazy. Sometimes subterfuge is the easier path. Besides that would have been a waste of good alcohol.”

We made our way down to the docks. Lead by the guy, Lilly made sure he wasn’t leading us into a trap. Hopefully we would get there in time before... anything bad could happen.

>>21087209

I awoke with a great pounding in my head, pain reverberating through my skull with every throb. I opened my eyes to find myself in an unfamiliar place. Moving to rise, my ears were greeted by the sound of chains rattling.

I was shackled to the floor. In a dark dank room. In the wall before me was a tank of water with three mermaids in it. They looked like women down to the waist, and from there they had fish like tails. They had a slightly crazed look to them, like that of a wild animal. The rest of the room was rather bland. All cold unforgiving stone with a kind of drain at the center of the room. That did not bode well.

I swore under my breath; someone cleared their throat from behind me.

“Finally awake I see!” a man said as he stepped into view.

Clean cut and dressed in fine silk clothes, he looked out of place in this dark bleak place.

>>21087247

“Do forgive me for the chains, but I couldn’t help myself.” he continued as 3 more men moved to his side, including Broke Teeth.

“It’s not everyday you get to slap shackles on a man called ‘Shacklesbane’ you see. So I thought it was appropriate to have a little fun at your expense considering you have been having so much fun at my expense.” His tone growing darker with every word.

“You see, you have cost me a very considerable sum of money over the past few years, so much so that I deemed all this necessary!” He said with his arms outstretched, gesturing to the room around us.

“I had to spend a small fortune and a few years tracking down the one cutting into my profits from my ‘livestock’ trade. But now I realise I should be thanking you! You have eliminated nearly all my competition, allowing me to gain dominance of the slave trade across Mirthterrah! So now I consider all the money you have cost me an investment, for with you gone I will be making record profits.” He said excitedly as a woman appeared at his side, giving me wink as she pulled a club from behind her back.

Without all the dirt, it was hard to recognize her as the girl from the cage.

“So you see my boy, while you may have had your little fun playing hero. That’s over now. My new outfit here will begin operation soon, and we wouldn’t want you to spoil it all. Of course, you won’t be able to do much about it soon enough, but we also wouldn’t want any following your lead now would we? So I suppose we’ll just need to make an example of you!” He beamed.

“I had heard that you Outrealmers all had a strange look in their eyes, and the stories seem to be true! However, i’m not sure I like the look they give you. Let’s remedy that, shall we?” As he finished, Broke Teeth started toward me pulling out a small knife.

“fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck” was the only thing racing through my mind. I watched as the knife slowly made its way towards my eye. It felt like time was slowing down as it neared. I saw the point enter into my eye, then the pain began. After that I think I passed out for a short time, as the next thing I knew I was hearing voices in my head.

“Come on Jables its time to blow doors down” From the looks of it I wasn’t the only one who heard it.

Everyone started looking around trying to figure out from where the sound was coming from. Then the door flew off its hinges and slammed into a thug, sending him sprawling. Kuro walked into the room in her hybrid dragon-human form.

>>21087278
“Oops, little too much power.” She said, taking position by the side of the door.

Jim, Meina, and Belle walked in next.

“Where the white bitches at?” He asked in an offensively bad black accent.

Everyone just kind of stared at him for a second. I felt my chains being undone.

“White bitches?”

“You know, the grade A beef. The ones with the mostest.”

“Someone take care of these fools.” The Boss ordered.

“Is that any way to talk to someone who is both bigger and stronger than you?” Kuro said, throwing a guy into a wall. I could hear his bones snap like carrots. Yeah, that guy was dead.

At that time I was free of my bindings.

The goons were made short work of. They were thugs, not warriors. Bound and gagged lying on the ground.

>captcha "eis titzilla" lol

>>21087296
“Let me help Shackles. This will sting like a bitch. I can’t fix the eye, I can’t even find it. I can help with the rest though. ” Lilly said flickering into visibility.

She placed her hands on my head. It felt like my whole body was on fire.

“So bossman, really like your mermaid collection. Rare. How long you have them? You know they get more crazy the longer they are from the ocean. Tell me when was the last time you fed them? They look a bit hungry.”

“Fed your friends eye to one just before you got here. Now untie me before I kill you.”

“Oh how cute, the monster thinks he’s a person. So can I feed him to the mermaids? They look really hungry, and this fat bastard would more than take care of that. Or I could pluck out his eye and give it to Shack. Hell I could do both and so much more.” Lilly said vindictively.

“Should just send him to Hell. The mermaids deserve a better meal.” Kuro said, placing her hand on the glass.

“I could do it. What do you say Shackles, an eye for an eye?”

“I don’t want anything from the likes of him. Let’s let the mermaids decide.”

“Well then I believe this might get messy, anyone with a weak stomach should leave.” Jim said, pulling the tank out from the wall.

Lilly picked up the guy and dropped him into the tank. He was right it wasn’t pretty, they tore him to pieces.

>>21087315
“We need to get them back to the sea. Until then they will just keep getting worse.” Jim said to no one in particular.

“Lucky the sea isn’t a long walk from here.” Said Belle.

“That it is. Kuro, Lilly, Meina. You girls want to grab a conner. Don’t want to get close to them like this.”

We carried the tank outside and got the Mermaids into the water. They calmed down a lot when they got into the ocean. After a few seconds of circling they swam off in the direction of Snaggletooth island.

After that we made our way back to Teegee.

“So Shack, your real name wouldn’t happen to be Willy would it?” Lilly asked.

“No, why do you ask?”

“Now you and your pet snake look alike.”

All I could do was sigh, this could be a long trip home.

“So you going to get a face thong?”

“You mean an eyepatch?” Belle said.

“Not as funny when you say it like that though.”

So, I have up trying to catch up with the setting. For now I decided to just jump in and just post what i have written so far. /tg/, I present to you, my very first writefagging of any sort. It will be awful.

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>>21087326
Lilly managed to keep my spirits up with the constant stream of jokes, even if they were at the cost of my depth perception. The reaction walking through the gates was about as sombre as could be expected though, the guards usual bombastic attitude melted away when they saw the bandage covering my vacant eye socket with seemingly nothing to show for it. They perked up a bit when I told them we saved a few mermaids through a slightly forced smile.

We continued on into town, a few of those who recognized me needing a little reassurance that everything was alright. Finally reaching my home, I turned to address everyone.

“Thanks guys, we can all guess how this would have likely turned out if you lot hadn’t shown up when you did. I owe you guys big time.”

Through the murmurs of responses, one wormed it’s way into my mind directly.

“I could think of a way you could pay us back...” Lilly thought to me

My telepathic response back made her eyes widen for a moment, followed by a mischievous grin.

So you want to know my story? well, I have nothing better to do tonight, and the drinks have me in a good mood, so why the hell not. Take a seat, and lets see if remember the order in which things happened.
It all started with that dickass wizard, as I am sure you have heard ad nauseum. Yes, the beggining was no fun at all; back then, I was a different person, not entirely on board with the idea of combat and the dangers it presented, life in the old world had made me grow into a complacent, lazy person, and so I was more than disoriented when trying to adjust to being dropped into the wilderness in the middle of winter.
But then the day came when we had to fight off the elves, with the aid of our Felim saviors, and something important changed. I don't mind telling you that I was a bundle of nerves, just about as ready to throw up as I was to stab someone with the crude spear I had given to me. So, I was fighting alongside two other people, outrealmers both, when our group got jumped by elves and we fought them desperately, without finnesse or tactics, like very shoddy berserkers. (cont, damn field limit)

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>>21087348
When they left, I took a deep breath and started towards my house. I hesitated for a moment before knocking on my own door, it didn’t feel right to just walk in at the moment. I heard her talons on the abused floorboards as she made her way to the door. When it finally opened after a few agonizing seconds, Soraya reacted about as well as I expected she would.

“What the FUCK happened to your face!” she practically shrieked.

“Well, I fell into some uppity crime lord’s trap set just for little old me and he fed one of my eyes to a starving mermaid. It was definitely one of my more interesting trips.” I tried, and failed, to use a little humor to downplay it. When the resulting screaming became incoherent, I put my hands on her shoulders and she stopped.

“I know you worry about me, that every time I leave something like this or worse might happen. And frankly i’m surprised something this bad didn't happen before now. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, but this really put things in perspective. I’m going to pass the torch. Going to ask the council and Khru Thai about starting training program so people can do what I did with proper support. I’ll administrate for it, but I don’t think I’ll be doing anymore field work. In fact, I even have a nice quiet little job lined up, care to join me?”

When she absorbed all the information she flung her wings around me, a tear or two on her face as she kissed me.

The next morning I extricated myself from her embrace and walked out the door papers in hand. Dropping off my report and requests at the council and university respectively before heading back into town to my new “job”.

I couldn’t wait to see Soraya’s face when she realised she had quit her job to work at Lilly’s.

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Surprisingly enough we managed to kill off our enemies, but not before stupid me flinched in the middle of the fight and tried to protect his head by raising his left arm over it -don't give me that look, we didn't have time for proper training and I had no fighting experience!- ahem, anyway, for my troubles i got my left hand clean cut off at the wrist, and in that second everything changed, forever. Something snapped, suddendly I felt free, unburdened, kind of like hwen you take a dive into cold water, fully expecting pain, but afterwards you feel so comfortable you laughed the notion of being so bashful about it? it was like that. The short, white hot pain, the smell of blood, the surge of pure, searing hatred... in that moment, everything became incredibly simple, that bastard threatened my life, and so I would break his every bone, punch his face into his skull, kick his probe body untill- oh dear, how embarrasing, just gimme a second to clean my mouth, I think i got a bit overexcited- Anyway, I understood battle, and after that I eagerly chased after the elves, alongside my fellow human and Felim. After the events of that day I took the name Belligerant, Sir Belligerant I guess. I had Fatsmelter craft a metal end that I could attach to my wrist stump, to which in turn a battleaxe head could be attached -why? I don't know, made all the sense in the world to me back then, and I don't regret it- And so, I earned my monicker, The Axehand.
There is a bit more but it will have to wait untill im pleased with my illustration of Sir Belligerants armor. (never)

>>21087367
I would welcome any commentary or constructive criticism, given that i have no experience writing, and i look forward to contributing further. I will probably be slowly working my way trough the timeline, behind of current events.

>>21087365
And that's a wrap, a collab piece between myself, Gearheart and Touch Fluffy Tails.

Questions, thoughts, critiques?

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Cant get the shadows right, ll just post it as is.

In this new world, I had found a thing to live for, something that would be the driving force of my constant self-improvement. I wanted to fight, I wanted to have enemies I could hate and then destroy. It gave me some concern to think like that, of course, but it was like experiencing a natural high, that moment when you unleash brutal retribution on a deserving foe, it probably was like being a berserker, only you were conscious of your actions the entire time, and enjoying it inmensely. Naturally I took to adventuring, bandits and hostile monsters being exciting and apropiate targets to excat violence upon. With succesful dungeon dives came riches, which I mostly wasted, but I took care to craft me a special suit of plate; perhaps not the easiest to move in, or offering the best protection, but designed to intimidate my enemies and instill dread in the battlefield.
Things were looking good in the first few years, I was adapting well to my new life, and while my newfound nature made some of my fellow knights abit uneasy, I never faltered in my duty to protect my fellows and their waifus. Yeah, life was looking good... untill the Orc attack happened. Excuse me, I think I've had enough reminiscing for now, my drink is turning sour.

>>21087296
>little too much power
i don't think i've ever heard a dragon say such a thing before
>>21087388
Guts? is that you

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>>21086394
Is that Miki from Idolm@ster

>>21087484
Never read Berserker im afraid, is Guts also missing a hand? fun coincidence.

>>21087388
My advice don't post in the middle of some else's long story its considered rude. Short stories its ok.

Give us something interesting. Si far the only thing that stands out is axe hand. And that's been done to death.

Next get names right. Fat smelter is a lot different than Fatewelder.

Last stop narrating and start writing. One long rambling flow does not make for a good read most of the time.

>>21087530
yes, his left. he ends up having it replaced with a combination hand that can grip using magnets/gun. he also fights very berserker style. if you want the magnet hand we could probably make that relatively easy, but you'd have to settle on a repeating crossbow instead of a gun, those rarely leave our inner vaults.
also, even if you've never read the manga you should at least watch the anime, it's low magic done right

>>21087549
i thought it was Fatwelder, not Fatewelder

>>21087484
So things are best done in moderation. Like the breaking part of breaking and entering. Got to have something left to enter after you finish breaking.

>>21087587
Some things. And I am forgetful.

>>21087388
This is good. I see nothing wrong with this so far. Keep it up. I kinda like this guy. He reminds me a little of myself from his personality so far

>>21087573
Jim is slowly becoming Dark Schneider from bastard. This might be good or bad.

>>21087585
Still different from Fat Smelter.

>>21087549
Oh dear, you are right, i got Fatwelders name wrong, how embarrasing. I will attempt to write without a narrator next, i just tought it was a simple way to introduce the character.
>>21087573
I dont intend to do anything extraordinary with that hand for the moment, just use it for chopping. If i come up with anything new i will consult first to see if its setting proper.

Terribly sorry about interrupting a long story, i had just finished writing it up and was excited about showing it off, so i looked for the current teegee harem knights tread and posted away. Will be more considerate in the future.

>>21087620
Also don't mean to chew you out in particular. I do this with all the new people. Most don't seem to come back.

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>>21087620
You're pretty good. I'd like to see what you cook up for actual stories now that your character's finished. I'm also going to commend you for your English ability; I'm a bit of a grammar nazi.

Lastly, I see you're a drawfag. Welcome aboard and expect to be bombarded with requests soon.

>>21087620
>>21087549
I would just like to point out that there IS a difference between narration and simply telling a story from first person view. An entire story of narration would indeed suck, however a story can be told in first person and still be good. I'll admit I might have the tense wrong, english class was never my strong suit and it's been a long time since high school so if the tense is supposed to be 2nd or 3rd or something I apologize but I THINK 1st person is the one that's being used here.....I THINK......not trying to step on anyones toes here though so please don't be angry. I mean no offense to anyone.

Got inspiration for the next bit of writefagging. No illustrations this time im afraid. Also im trying a different kind of narrative, hope you guys like it. (A bit grimdark, but later on the mood will pick up)

The thunderous sound of a thousand war drums deafened Sir Belligerant, who impatiently stood amongst the knights, preparing for battle. The Orcs were here, and they intended to raze castle Teegee to its foundations. There was no waifu to kiss goodbye, no last business to take care of. Sir Belligerant lived only for the moment where his steel would meet bone, and those green skinned assholes couldnt begin their attack soon enough. This was, of course, a view not shared by his fellows, who tended to inch away from him when he started to get giddy in anticipation like that.

>>21088126
A shot, and the drums stopped, then, after maybe a thousand years, the orcish war cant echoed around the land, and the battle began. Arrows hissed around his head, fire licked his armor and reflected on the big, black eyes of his enemy, the rare explosion shook the earth and rattled his very core, as the air itself was filled with the taste of iron. Sir Belligerant was in extasis, his bizzarre helmet locked in a monstrous grin, his spiked shield bashing, breaking and bending, his axe embedding itself as deep into meat and bone as his own muscles would allow. One blink later, the fight was over; without need to tell him, Sir Belligerant knew. The air around him was no longer charged, he could no longer feel the hatred directed at him, in a very small way, the world became grey and dull again.
But something was wrong, the orcs were still there, but they were only the females, and the killing intent was no longer there, too confusing. Sir Belligerand turned to the knights behind him to ask what was happening, and the sight exploded in his face like a point blank fireball.
Corpses, friendly corpses, a man he drank mead with yesterday, split in two at the waist; a woman he wagered with regarding the number of kills in the coming fight, lying in a brownish red pool; a boy, barely of fighting age, that he gave fighting advice to, his face a mask of frozen horror, on a detached head, next to Sir Belligerant's own foot.

The night after the battle was the longest one of his life.

>>21088129

that will be it for the moment im afraid, have engagements to attend to. I will try to post more tomorrow.

File: 1350011814052.jpg-(60 KB, 350x505, uruk-hai.jpg)

>>21088216
Well, it was a grimdark event. No need to get too uppity about it.

Though for future reference, they were Orks that invaded, not Orcs. Yes, there's a difference.

>>21087497
According to Pixiv, at least.

>>21088216

I want to write, but can't find a way I like to just amble up to the castle walls.

>>21087826
I agree but it got the point across. It is first person you are thinking and its first person that he is using. 1st is the guy shooting 2nd is the guy getting shot and 3rd is god is a good way to remember it. But there are different kinds of first person story telling.

>>21088913
I've been wondering about that...what IS the difference? And while were on the subject, there's something else that's been bothering me...I know there were both orcs and goblins in the lord of the rings but those new ones they created, they were the uruk hai right? and were they half orcs or goblin orc crossbreeds? I can't remember

>>21087426
>she had quit her job to work at Lilly’s
How did you pull that off?

>>21089566
Sex magic

File: 1350017035021.gif-(1.3 MB, 512x288, 1295236502380.gif)

>>21089566
She got so excited at the prospect of working a "quiet little retail job" with him, she forgot to ask for the specific place before it was far too late.

File: 1350022280196.jpg-(1.41 MB, 2560x1920, sealed-envelope.jpg)

‘To my dearest father,

‘Hey Dad, Kikki here. I’m sorry it’s been so long since I last sent a letter. Things have been pretty hectic around here since the Ork attack. But like I said back then, I’m doing well and my arm has healed nicely. I do have something important to tell you-’

“Arg!” I crumpled up another piece of paper and threw it over into the corner. This wasn’t working.

‘To my de-’ No.

‘Dear Dad,

‘How’s things in the Jungle? Not getting too much trouble from Terry and Toby, right?’

The door opened behind me and Lem poked his head in. “Dinner’s ready. What’cha up to?”

“Nothing...” I crumpled up the other piece of paper and got up to go eat. “Just letters to my family.” I probably shouldn’t have said that.

“Oh? How’re they doing?”

“Nothing new, last I heard. Dad’s still got his trading post in Feligrove... Y’know I don’t think I’ve ever told you about my family.”

“You did tell me that one story about the night your brothers were born and how you and your sister got into a huge fight until they got carried out by your father.”

“You remembered that?” Lem poured me a glass of wine.

“Of course. How’s she doing anyway?”

My eyes darkened a bit. “Well... I haven’t heard much from my sister Karen not since...” And I sort of trailed off.

“I meant your mother. I mean, we’re getting married, right?”

The wine stuck in my throat and I coughed a bit. I really didn’t tell him, did I? “L-Lem... Mom’s... Mom’s dead...”

File: 1350022404691.jpg-(318 KB, 566x800, kiki.jpg)

>>21090746
Lem froze and looked at me with horror, as though he just accidentally stepped on a kitten. I averted my eyes quickly. I knew it was a bad idea to bring this up. Lem snapped out of it and started blurting his words. “B-b- w-when? How?”

“Four and a half years ago, when the Elves attacked. She was out helping with clearing the trees for fields.” It was nice that Lem cared, but I didn’t like distressing him like this.

He ran his hand through his hair. “Ugh, I’m sorry, I really should have asked sooner...”

“Lem, shut up. Don’t worry about it, I’m fine. I mean, it’s not like you’ve talked to me all that much about your family.”

Lem thought about it for a moment. “Yeah I guess so. Suppose I don’t like talking about what I’ve lost and can’t get back,” he said through a nervous chuckle.

I smiled. “Well then that makes two of us. I came to terms with Mom’s death a while ago. You helped alot with that, more than you’ll know.”

Lem relaxed. “Y’know, it does make me feel worse about this” He pulled mom’s old pendant out of his shirt and fiddled with it, dented inward from saving him last year.

File: 1350022457795.jpg-(83 KB, 550x544, 1349072951163.jpg)

>>21090765
“I can’t believe you still wear that.”

“Well of course, you gave it to me.” I couldn’t help but smile. He’s such a fucking charmer. “Hey, let’s invite him over.”

“Who? Jim? Isn’t he ou-”

“No, your dad. I mean, we’re getting hitched in like four months, I should meet him.”

I nearly spat up my food. “What? No, I...”

“C’mon, he’s gotta be at least a little interested in who you’re getting married to, right?”

“It... It’s not that. I... I kind of haven’t told him yet...”

Lem looked outright tickled. “Well he’s gotta find out sooner or later, though I can’t imagine that he’d be too happy to learn after the fact.”

“Y-yeah... y’mind helping?”

“‘Course.” He gave me one of those soft looks, like he was saying he didn’t mean it. Goddamned manipulative prick. Guess it’s my fault for falling for it every time.

Well, I guess it’s back to the letters.

TBC

>>21090773
Alright, I'll have more in this soon. Any thoughts in the meantime are appreciated, but for now I sleep.

Sup guys! I'm glad this is still alive and kicking. I was kinda busy at school...doing school things and Dm'ing Only war. ahhahaha. keep up the good work guys!

I fukken love panda cats.

>>21090827
fuck yea, pandacat

>>21090849
Im Imagining big, burly men from the north. razing and pillaging those wont accept panda cat as their spiritual liege.

>>21090928
Their reason for worshiping panda cat is because looking at her kinda gives them a break from their harsh life of violence.

>>21090928
but pandacat is a Champion of Justice, he would never approve of the slaughter of innocents based solely on their religious beliefs

>>21090959
Im thinking over time they forgot the true message of panda cat. So i think they're torn between extremists and the vanilla guys. That's why we need more panda cat

Okay, I just had the possibly the craziest idea for this thread... well besides Clover. Imagine if you would a restaurant owned by a fa/tg/uy who learned how to cook by Orks and prepares/mash his customers meals. The name of his practice: Regular Ordinary Orkish Mealtime.

>>21090773
Incoming adorable!

>>21091066
And that idea goes by without a single care.

>>21091240
I found it kind of humorous.

>>21091240
to be fair a good part of the board is asleep, but if you want to have a restaurant then write it up. we've had writefaggotry of all sorts of stuff, from agriculture to flying dragon theme park. don't let the lack of responses stop you from writing, especially when you have something that could be funny

>>21091066
Dinner and a floorshow. I like it. I imagine there are large quantities of alcohol involved?

>>21091273
Pre-dinner alcohol: is good for you.

>>21091271
That is a fair good point. My own eyes have grown heavy. But first, must find Ork words in threads past.

>>21091335
Slow violent. Simple. 40k Orks in a way.

>>21091066
Is he going to scream at the butter to melt it?
seriously the kind of shit they pull makes me laugh from the bottom of my heart

>>21091378
YOU! You get mayo.

Arrgh! Computer in chinese! Change the wallpaper!

>>21091066
...what crazy ideas?

If you were going to have such a restaurant, they would have strong contention from the likes of The Lab and Iron Wok Steel Platter.

Can you imagine anything crazier than lab-coat wearing waiters/waitresses or recipes that require a five minute fist fight? If so, go for it!

...wait, did you imply that Orks are Viking?

>>21091549
The Lab: The only restaurant where the chefs are required to wear welding masks! (Mostly to put on a show for the customers, though. Mostly.)

>>21091354
Except not actually made from fungus (that's something a lot more different).

Speaking of which, I call dibs/shotgun on the mushroom men!

File: 1350041311323.gif-(129 KB, 620x411, defibrilator.gif)

>>21091842
This is a bump.

Clear!

-bzort-

>>21087426
Eye thought it was pretty good. Who wrote those jokes though? They were pretty cornea...

>>21093034
i'm going to hell for laughing at that aren't i?
also, has kuro's dragon form been described? so far all i know is that her breath is fire

>>21089839
Whoops. Should be interesting, and I'm certain that any feathers that happen to fall in the shop could be sold by Lilly, with a 10% commission to Soraya.

>>21087426
I don't know what time frame your story takes place, so I can't see how you'd get the university to approve such a curriculum, not to mention the political ramifications of producing slave-hunter hunters.

>>21093987
He isn't going to get approval. That's just it. You're right, there are too many political problems for this to be something that the state can support. Doesn't mean we'll stop him though. Plausible deniability and all that.

>>21093987
There's also a problem with how the slave market works out.

Is it like the Roman, the Dutch, the American, and so forth.

But since slavery is a VERY touchy subject, I'll assume we're going with fantasy land "slavery is bad and you should feel bad".

>>21094022
At best I can see him earning a position as an associate lecturer.

>>21094036
A combination of the Roman and Dutch I imagine. Some people are just taken, others sold into it, others (the fewest overall, mostly in the Free Kingdoms) the result of conquest.

>>21094290
Hmmm, if that is indeed the case for slave Acquisition, what about treatment?

As in, can slaves become freemen and earn slaves of their own, or is it a strict feudal class divide?

>>21094362
As has been done. Slaves can not earn freedom. So it is a strict feudal class divide

>>21093067
No I have not. I don't feel like taking up a big chunk of some random story just describing my characters. Maybe if I wrote something dedicated to that though.

>>21094400
Right then.

Touchy subject, slavery is bad and you should feel bad.

Got it.

>>21094022
I never really expected to get any *official* approval, but people will likely approach him and he can run everything under the table.

File: 1350059036951.jpg-(1.3 MB, 2480x3508, pan.jpg)

>>21090959
pa pa pa pa panda neko~

I declare this referendum on the proposed Article of governance to be open. With the goal of strengthening the Teegee. All points are open for discussion under Fulton's rules of conduct. In short keep it civil

https://docs.google.com/document/d/13ACKYH-gFRcfWXpAhcWWYPos6Tek9ssAAyzFpMIBOXc/

>>21095390
?

I see nothing.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/13ACKYH-gFRcfWXpAhcWWYPos6Tek9ssAAyzFpMIBOXc/edit#

Take two

>>21094701
As long as it can't be traced back to the state, you can do as you wish. We just can't afford direct association with such an organization. Slavers may exist in a gray area under Mirthan law, but they're ultimately "removing" traders as far as the technical definition goes. That's why the official word is "It's not our responsibility what people may or may not do outside of our borders" and basically we wash our hands of it.

>>21095526
Much better, thank you.

>>21095526
You may wish to consider magical tomes and the ability to cast spells as weapons.

>>21095582
I thought that was clear under the magic section. But I'll make note of it

>>21095588
You may wish to place a tax-free point on Fey rewards/gifts/income that are provably Fey granted, as the Fey are notorious about their concepts of 'ownership' and can be easily offended by rewards or portions of rewards taken from the gifted person/s in a manner they consider 'unduly'; you might be able to replace taxes with tithes, a concept the fey DO understand and accept. Calling one by the name of the other to a Fey invites debate, and debate with the Fey is exceedingly dangerous.

>>21095626
Debate with you is dangerous too.

>>21095626
Good point. I wish every one though through their points through as well as you.

>>21095653
I have degrees in spurious logic and a mind that works on the cloud-of-unrelated-ideas principles.

I still wouldn't want to enter a debate with Fey. I would sooner debate with devils.

>>21095668
I think its still safer with Fey as they are bound by the rules. While devils and demons use them more as a guide line.

>>21095685
Remember that the Rules can change, even after the fact. "Always forbidden, on occasion mandatory" for instance. Demons just cheat and lie, devils...well, they at least honor agreements, even if it's a work of art to make an agreement they'll agree to.

>>21095734
And thank you for reminding me what I left out of the article. Law change laws

>>21095483
What you do not see is called Iocane Word Docs. It is odorless, tasteless, dissolves instantly into settings, and is amongst the most deadly filler known to man.

>>21096316
I loled

>>21096340
That's what I'm here for.

So anyone up for poker night at the rogue trader mark 3?

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vgP5GtjSPqM69MaiaZowdbTV4r5g_3hEhu_fpvdekkk/edit

>>21094412
that's what Sir Gary entries are for. or just pics that you think represent the characters well

>>21100504
I haven't gotten around to writing anything like that yet.

“Ok, Belle. I am just going to go and and take care of a special delivery. Shouldn’t be gone too long. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” Said Lilly as she walked out the front door.
I still don’t know how they managed to talk me into doing this. I nervously waited for someone to enter.

No sooner was Lilly gone than the door swung open and in walked a couple. A Coininoch woman and a big Ork woman. They walked up to the counter.

“We would like to buy something in his size.” Said the Coininoch.

My eyes widened a little in surprise. “His... Size? I’m not sure I follow.”

“Some nice nightwear you know.”

“Um... Ok, what kind are you looking for?”

“Well something that would fit to start with. You would not believe how hard it is to find such things. Isn’t that right sweety.”

“Ugh.” Said the Ork trying to hide behind the woman.

“Oh... I think I get it now. Right this way.”

I lead them over to the lingerie section of the store. Then I showed them what we had. They picked out a few things. I thought I was almost free when the bunnygirl spoke up again.

“She’s rather flat chested. You have anything to help the poor girl out?”

“Um...” I paused for a moment as I tried to recall where Lilly said that stuff was. “I think what you’re looking for is over here.”

I took them over to the potion section of the store.

“This should do it. Just read the instructions on the bottle.” I told them.

“Thank you. I do believe that will be it. Won’t it dear?”

“Ngh.”

I took their money and they left.

>>21100710

The door opened again.

“Hello? I heard this was a clothing store and I’m looking around for a decent coat” Alaric called out as he entered.

“We do some clothing, though it may not be what you’re looking for. Would you like to take a look?”

“Um, sure; I’ll take a look.” he eyed the wares, various books and potions.

“Clothes are in the back. Here I’ll show you the way.” I told him, pulling aside the curtain that lead to the back room.

“So, we talking dusters, parkas, ca-” he paused mid sentence.

“That”, he began, “is a very big dildo.”

“It is, but that’s not what you said you were looking for, right? Besides we do sell bigger.”

“I... I’m just gonna go.” he backed out the door.

“I wonder who told him this was a clothing store...”

I went back to the counter.

A little while later another Orc came in. This one was a Savage Orc.

“Do’s yoes gots anys spices? Needs spices of anys kind. Needs tos impress her.”

“Wait here a moment. I’ll bring them to you.” I dashed into the back room, not wanting a repeat of what happened with Alaric.

I went over to the spice section and grabbed a pack of each. I quickly made my way back to the front.

“These are the spices we have. Each one is very different. Handmade by the owner of the store. This one is called milktastic, and this one is called five alarm fire. It’s supposed to make you real hot, and this one is called ticklish des-”

“Yes, yes. Goods. Is takes ones eachs.” He said shoving a fistful of money at me and picking up the packets of spices. 50 in all.

He walked out the door saying. “Teacher gonas bes pleaseds.”

“Sir, you overpai-” The door closed before I could finish the sentence. “Well hopefully he only uses one at a time. His teacher will be surprised either way though...”

>>21100718

No more than a second after I finished that thought another customer walked in.

“Hi, yeah so. Um my waifu sent me down here. Said something about buying a mystery box. What am I getting into?”

“A surprise. Each box is filled with random goodies, selected by the owner of the store.”

“Oh joy. Well I’ll take one.”

“Do you want to pick the box from the pile or does it not matter to you?”

“Does it matter?”

“Some people like the excitement.”

“Just give me a box.”

I went into the back room and picked out one of the red boxes.

“Here you go sir.” I said handing it to him.

As soon as he touched it the box started to vibrate like mad.

“What the hell.”

“I think that means you're the right one for the box.”

“I better be.”

He paid for the box and left, leaving me to wonder when Lilly was getting back. I don’t know how Meina does this. For a little while after that things were normal. Then closer to closing time in came a young guardsman.

>>21100724

“Yes can I help you?” I said as he walked up to the counter.

“Well ‘ello there cutie, you wouldn’t be happening to sell protection for youn’,” he hiccuped, “saviour of the guard?”

“Yes we do sell protection thingys. I don’t have much experience with them though.”

“Well, I teach ya if you want.”

“Not interested. I already have someone.” I said, glaring at him.

“Ahh, well that’sa mighty fine pity,” moving closer with a lecherous look, “Maybe you’re still free to do some jobs... with ya hands.”

I grinned maliciously, “Sure, I could give you a hand out.” I reached under the counter and pulled out a bottle from Lilly’s emergency stash. “Here, drink this. It’s a powerful stimulant. You’ll be able to go for a long time.”

He looked at the bottle with a smug grin, “With this, I’ll show you how a real man treats a lady.” With that he popped the cork and chugged the whole bottle dry. Should last him a few days. That was like three doses.

I stifled a giggle. He had no clue how close he was. He started to shake and then fell to the floor. He yelled out some gibberish. There was a flash of magic and there now lay a flabbergasted woman in a loose fitting guard uniform. He got up and started to freak out. Then he opened up his pants and looked in them. The look of horror on his face was priceless.

>>21100732

“DA FUK HAPPENED TA WILLY!”

“I just gave you a free sample. Don’t like it? I hear it’s very popular. Oh, and here’s another one. You can have lots of fun with it tonight.” I said handing him a spiked dildo.
He took one look at it and ran for the door. Course, he forgot to drop it in the panic and he wasn’t paying attention to where he was running. So he ran right into Kuro’s chest, as she had just opened the door. He fell flat on the ground unconscious.

“What’s wrong with her?” Kuro asked me, looking down at him.

“Him. He tried hitting on me and wouldn’t give up, so I gave him a few free ‘samples’.”

“So what are you going to do with him now?”

“Tie him up and put him in one of the private rooms. Let Lilly decide after that.”

“Let Lilly decide what? Also, sorry I was gone so long. Things went a bit haywire.” Lilly said walking in.

“Oh, we had a volunteer who wanted to help you test out some of your new products, but she fell asleep waiting for you in excitement.” Kuro said.

“Well then I know just the thing to wake her up. Give her one hell of a scream.” Lilly said, picking up the unconscious body and taking it to one of the private rooms.

A few seconds latter Lilly yelled out to us. “Hey, can you help me get her tied down. Need to do an endurance test of the full workout machine, don’t want her moving and hurting herself.

The End.

Note to self: Don't shoplift.

>>21101343
Setting off the anti-shop lifting measures is never a good idea. They are really fun. For me. Unless Meina changed them back to something nicer again.

Colab is still taking place for all to participate.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vgP5GtjSPqM69MaiaZowdbTV4r5g_3hEhu_fpvdekkk/edit

File: 1350104445647.jpg-(502 KB, 1800x1200, 1348030610715.jpg)

Better keep this thread bumped

File: 1350106423092.jpg-(320 KB, 785x925, 1301006721196.jpg)

>>21103201
Bumpity

>>21103543
Headwings. I have this irrational hatred of them. They just look so out of place.

File: 1350107905196.jpg-(415 KB, 827x856, 1301002777453.jpg)

>>21103748
Bump

>>21103800
Thoughts of rice floating through your head. Are you hungry?

File: 1350109947431.jpg-(433 KB, 716x999, 1301009816852.jpg)

>>21104106
Only cause. SOMEONE won't come to bed.

Bumpity

>>21104176
Not my fault. Why don't you drag him there?

>>21104206
Out weighs me by about 100 pound of muscle.

>>21104218
I'm sure you can think of something.

>>21104251
Already did. Night.

I'll give you a hint. Chocolate.

>>21104106
More like the general idea of a "meal"

>>21104176
Yeah, more like that.

Jim, go to bed. I wanna write that catmas bit that's still blank tomorrow. In the meantime, I need to get my sleep pattern back into order. Been all screwed up 'cause of you lot. Now go give your lady some lov'n, you California switch-hitting fagget.

>>21104261
Sounds like fun.

Further writing, from my iPad, cuz I can't sleep, expet typos.

Of course, Sir Belligerant wasn't naive, he was a aware allies died during wartime, but until today, he hand been close to any of the casualties, it had been a detached experience, something that happened to other people. But this time it was different, because of this girl, that now rests underneath the ground in a wooden box. He remembers her all too well.

She was an elf, one of the women that originally joined TeeGee after the culling of the elf males; name of Alissa. She quickly developed a taste for adventure with a side of wanderlust, and Sir Belligerant would often end grouping with her when dungeon diving. A friendship quickly developed, and they would compete for treasure and the number of kills made in battle.

Just so you guys know, I should have a story for you pretty soon. (If I can drag my ass away from XCOM along enough to write it, that is.)

Keep pestering me about it, maybe you'll guilt trip me into writing something.

>>21104430
It was the closest one he ever had, in this world or the previous,and so it hurt all the more to realize he had lost her forever. Would she be alive now if he had paid attention to his allies during the fight? Could he have blocked the arrow, or parried the sword? It was probably meaningless to blame himself now, but the heart will not listen to logic, and his was aching all night long.

Afterwards,
Sir Belligerant wasn't his old self, he no longer looked forward to battle, a trait that for so long had defined his self in this new world. He knew he had lost something important, and felt lost as to what it was.

After consulting with his fellow it's I and thinking it over for about a month after the attack, Sir Belligerant decided he needed to travel far and see more of the world, hoping to find himself, as the earth saying goes. He requested a fresh set of armor, heavier than his usual, to minimize the chance of injury. Another preparation would be a large leather backpack filled with basic adventurer gear, iron rations, length of rope, diferent knives and hoks, that sort of thing. It would slow him down, but he wasn't in a hurry to get wherever the road would take him.

He waved the castle goodbye with his axe hand, picked a direction at random, and started walking into the forest.

>>21104554
That third paragraph should say "Afetr consulting his fellow knights", autocorrect did a number on that one.

Did I ever mention that I love you guys? Because I do.

>>21104554

It was an uneventful trip trough the forest, save for the wild boar that so generously provided him lunch for that day by reacting a second too slow to run away.

Sir Belligerant was already feeling slightly better. Walking away from the castle and those ork women helped him stop dwelling in memories of the battle, and it's aftermath. He kept walking, and eventually the forest became a windswept plain. It was here that he found a tribe os nomad barbarians, minotaurs, by the look of it, all of them males. They did not know of TeeGee, so they were cautiously hostile of him as he approached, but once they gotta good look at Sir Belligerant's features, they invited him into the tribe, and ushered him into the largest hut of their mobile village, the Chief's.

Imagine his surprise to see the chief, a wizened Minotaur or grayling fur, a scarred face, chipped horns and an axe, tied firmly to where his right hand would have been.

This will be it for the moment. I'm still tr ying to develop a writing style, so it would help me to know how did you guys like this kind of writing, as compared to my previous attempts.

>>21104552
get on with your writing you lazy bum
>>21104588
>typo correction has a typo
ahaha
>>21104648
we love you too, and feel free to writefag some stuff for us

>>21104721
Already did once. Haven't had much time to complete some new stuff due to professors deciding to have multiple tests per week. Will probably write a bit more tomorrow.

It appears that the next event is carriage racing. There was also an on-foot relay race, but I managed to miss that. Wilhelm has suggested that I ride in the carriage during the race, under the pretense of getting information first-hand. I was going to refuse, but once again Cerran won me over. Also, apparently she has some big news to tell me after the race is over.

File: 1350126431294.png-(Spoiler Image, 579 KB, 640x1024)

>>21105945
The race should start any minute now. Wilhelm has something to say to me.

"Given the terrain...” He has that grin on his face again, the one he gets whenever he’s come up with something horrifyingly clever.

“if we wanted to beat them in this race, we'd need a road, right?"

"I suppose so, but the carriage works on other surfaces too. You said it yours-" I retorted.

"Well, where we're going...”

Wilhelm dramatically pulls a lever, and the wheels fall off.

"we don't need roads."

I then noticed that despite all common logic, we don’t seem to have fallen. Wilhelm’s grin grows wider, and my terror grows stronger.

“Ya see, I managed to increase the output on the push boots. I’ve got four of ‘em keepin’ this baby afloat. Now...”

I brace myself.

“FULL SPEED AHEAD!”

>>21105954
I honestly have no idea what happened during the race; I was too busy holding on for dear life to describe any of it. Cerran enjoyed it much more than I, though I doubt she was paying that much attention to the specifics.

I have been assured that what Wilhelm did was (while not expected) legal. The chief said that he encourages innovation in all things, and that others will probably adopt my husband-by-proxy’s design very soon.

>>21105959
As for Cerran's news, apparently she's pregnant. I'm not quite sure what to make of this just yet. Wilhelm's response was rather similar; I imagine it hasn't quite sunk in for him yet.

This of course, raises many questions. Who's the baby's father, when's it due, who will take care of it, and could I theoretically get of my TAs to babysit?

In related news, I've asked Wilhelm to make some ear plugs using the noise cancellation enchantment.

hey is there an archive for this i'd love to read all this at the start

>>21106125
http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Harem_Knights <- Right here. This includes all threads up to 21, and more once I edit the page.

>>21105954
Did they put Stig in a manga?

>>21107220
No the Stig jumped into the manga caused he wanted to.

>>21107617
Stole the show, he did.

It had been awhile since the normal gang had been in. They had all gone off on quests or the such. Word was that Shackles lost an eye. All us girls were worried about what he would do now when in walked a good chunk of the gang. The GearHearts, Kuro and Belle, and a few others. They came in with seconds of each other. As usual the table reserved for Knights was empty, so everyone took a seat around it.

“Alright everyone you know the drill. First one drunk loses. First one who gets it, well you all know. And for the last time no more spiking each others drinks. It just encourages Lilly.” GearHeart said over the ruckus.

Shacklesbane wasn’t among them, that made me worry a bit. Maybe he’s just home spending time with his woman.

Belle waved me over. “You worried about Shacklesbane? He’s doing just fine, even has magical eyepatch now. Keeps the dust out, looks great too.”

“Thats good to hear. Haven't heard much about him. So what can I get you all?”

I took their orders. Lilly was being good today and didn’t even try to trip me. So progress on that.

“So heres to the two newest Knights Harem. Kuro and Belle. I also promise no initiation pranks from me,” Said Lilly. Standing on the table raising a mug to the air.

“Lilly, get off the table. You're showing off the gold ring of yours.” Meina chided.

“I dare anyone brave enough here to try their hand at taking it.” Lilly said.

Jim reached up from behind her and pulled her from the table. Lilly let out a loud yelp. It was fun watching her be gotten the better of.

“Darn it James, you didn’t give everyone else a fair chance.”

“Lilly calm down. We get it, you're excited for Kuro and Belle. But it is way too early for such stuff.”

>>21107692
“I’m surprised they appreciated what we did with Marick and Shacklesbane went over so well. I thought it would take a lot longer than this to be knighted.” Kuro said

“Well you did help slay a demon, save a beloved hero from certain doom, and help bust a powerful slavery ring. If that don’t impress someone then nothing will.” Said Sir Vector.

“He wasn’t the brightest demon.” Said Belle.

“And I may or may not have threatened and or blackmailed some people.” Added Lilly.

“So anyone hear about the rumor going around about the Mirthainens outlawing relationships with ‘Subhumans’?”

“Yeah sounds like an open declaration of war to me.”

“I heard those blokes over at the Free Kingdoms were actually starting to do the opposite, especially with them merfolk.”

“Yeah, and if you believe that, I can introduce you to a lot of Merpeople that will rip your face off and use it to write a strongly worded letter for that kind of talk. The Free Kingdoms still hunt Merpeople. Things are not all that friendly between the two. You're more likely to find a male elf who ain’t a complete bastard.” Said Jim.

“Okay then, well I heard from Ol’ Franko that a herd of centaurs was seen over near them Giant Hills heading in our general direction. Any thoughts on this?”

“I’ll believe it when I see it. Been here six going on seven long years and I never heard about centaurs. But stranger things have happened.”

“Well I got one you all will never believe. Ter is going to kill off his old war angels and make new ones.”

“You're right, we don’t believe you.”

>>21107703
“Well what about the latest bunch of Orks that came here?”

“Orks are Orks. They come, they fight and fuck and then they go.”

“Nononono, from what I heard from an Ork I work with, these guys are more... organised or something. Like an ordered chaos of green screaming.

“Then they wouldn't be Orks any more; either High Orcs or Savage Orcs. Most likely Savage”

“No listen, recall how the Orks were like when we first fought them, how they fight just so they can fight. Well this group of Orks, fight for actual, sensible reasons. Or so I’m told.”

“Making them automaticly some kind of Savage Orc. But whatever you say.”

“Tall, green Orks that know the difference between a C and a K?”

“Exactly. Now back to drinking: first one out plays with Lilly.”

“Hey thats not fair some of us are committed you know.”

“That’s all right honey, if you lose I would love to watch.” Said the guy’s waifu to him.

“Damn it people, Lilly is not the punishment for losing.”

“What if I want to be?”

“Then I out vote you.”

“Make me.”

“Buddy, just let everything work out. Not a good idea to argue over this.” Jim said.

“Anyway I need a new test subject for a fun new potion.”

“Oh god. I can’t lose not again.” Said the light weight.

“Suck it up dear. Last time was fun.”

“Something new?”

“This one cums in an amazing array of sensations.”

“Oh god. I can feel my dick exploding already.”

“You’re dick and hopefully her insides.”

“That sounds, interesting.”

“I know right.”

“Enough I am not nearly drunk enough for this conversation. Back to drinking.”

>>21107707
About three more rounds later.
“So then we told Lilly that, he was a volunteer.” Said a slightly drunk Belle.

“I felt, well I wouldn’t say horrible. But bad.” Lilly said laughing at the story.

“And that’s why I stay the hell away from you place.”

“You’ll come, they all do eventually.”

A few more rounds later. I got in on the story telling.
“And get this, the guy walks up to me and says, ‘So am I harpy to see ya or am I just a banana in pants?’ The guy was so drunk I was amazed he could stand.” I said finishing the story, everyone began bawling.

“Damn that was a funny story, Alice. I think Meina wet herself.” Lilly said to me.

“No I did not.” Meina denied red faced.

“Did too, and I can prove it.” Lilly said, jumping on Meina and tearing at her skirt.

“Girls, no raping each other at the table. If you must, do it under the table.” Jim said deadpan.

“Don’t need to got what I wanted,” Lilly said, holding up Meina’s panites, “Yep wet as can be.”

“I will get you back for this.” Meina said.

“Looking forward to it.”

Kuro pulled Belle into her lap. “You should wear pants more often Meina. Makes it harder for Lilly to steal your panties.”

“That’s what you think~” Lilly said with a big smile. “I like how you pulled Belle in to protect you before you said that.”

“Whatever you say, and you shouldn’t share all of you secrets. Am I right?” Kuro said while scratching Belle behind her ears.

>>21107732

“You play a good game. Much better than when we first met. Your panites are safe... for now.” Lilly said.

“What makes you think she’s wearing any?” Belle said.

“Oh, she’s not. Well that’s too bad. I could show off a different trick. Keep your eyes on Meina’s panites.” There was a flash of fire and smoke and then they were gone. “Now anyone know where they are? Or have an idea?” Lilly said, with a mischievous grin.

“Do I get to keep them?” Belle asked

“You have to ask Kuro about that one. I think she has a more firm claim on them at the moment. But yes.” Lilly said, winking at Kuro.

“You’ll have to take them off if you want them.” Kuro said, stroking Belle’s tail.

>>21107741
“Hey, look who was let out of the bird cage mates.” Said Vector.

“Sorry we’re late” Soraya started “It takes a while to get dressed without shredding everything I’m trying to put on.”

“Ah, just givin ya twos a hard time. Parties just starting.”

“You know we really need to figure out some way to help you out with that.” Lilly said to Soraya.

“My armor has an enchantment that makes it change shape when I do, and don’t forget that Belle’s is usually a pendant. I don’t see why we can’t do the same for regular clothing.” Kuro said.

“Yeah that would work. The rune work might be tricky though. But its worth a shot. If you ever want to give it a chance.” Jim said, Starting to doodle on a napkin.

“We’ll see, enchanting a whole wardrobe can be a bit pricey....and speaking of money, don’t worry about your tabs tonight guys. It’s all on Tanny here. Someone needs to learn his lesson for ambushing me with my new ‘job’.” Soraya said jabbing Tanash with a wing. Took her awhile to come out of shell when she first got here, but she had turned out to be a real ballbuster.

“Hey, I can’t remember, did we get you a wedding gift?” Meina said.

“No we did not. Man we are horrible. We should get them something. Also an apology gift for forgetting.” Lilly said to Meina.

“Well it looks like I see a lot of needlework in my future.” Said Jim.

“We’ll help too.” Belle said.

“But first, you know who’s turn it is to share a story?” Kuro said.

“Lem. If he ever showed up.”

“Well there is that. But I think its Soraya and Shackles turn.”

“I got nothing.” Said Shackles hiding behind his hair.

“You two are no fun. But ya get a pass this time. Next time though.”

>>21107750
The door opened again, with the ringing of the bell. In walked a customer I had never seen before.

“Hello Sir. Welcome to the Rogue Trader.” I said to him with a big smile.

He took a look around, at least I think so, couldn’t tell from beneath the helm, and sat down in a lone chair near the bar.

“Drink,” he mumbled, “Strong drink.”

“Sounds like you need the strongest. Shire Rye sound good? Just a warning it can get anyone drunk and fast.” The Bartender said to him.

“Shire?”

“Halfling stuff. Magic Whisky.”

“Pansy drink then? No, need stronger.”

“Right buddy. Here you go, strongest it comes.” The bartender said, pouring him a big mug.

So he grabbed the mug, shook it, and began to chug it through his helm like he hadn’t had a good drink in ages. Afterwards he just sat there, with what I think might have been a blank stare, before pointing at me.

I went over to him. “Can I help you?”

He made a twirling motion with his finger. I think he wanted me to turn around. Well why not. He can’t do anything more extreme than Lilly has. I turned around, whilst turning away I heard him spit up the drink back into the mug. I turned back to see him place his mug down crossing his arms.

“I am displeased,” said the man.

“Strength or Flavor. Or is it both? We have some tough customers here. Should be able to find something to your liking.”


“Strength or lack of it has overpowered whatever flavor this beverage had. It is... bland.

>>21107758
“Well we have something with a lot more flavor. How does Angel Blood sound?”

After saying this the man leaned towards me giving me a better look under his helm. To say his frown was intimidating would be an understatement, for normal people.

“Is it literal?” he asked.

“Is it literal? I’ll get her down here and you can stick the tap in her if you want.”

After what seemed like a minute he began to laugh.

“You...” he said, pointing at me, “you are good. I have traveled these lands for... for... a long while now. Not one person made joke good as you.”

“Sweets, You got a lot to learn about Teegee then.”

“Oh, I know lass. Last I saw this place was rubble and the fa/tg/uys kept mumbling that winter was coming. Now,” he said waving his arm in a motion across the room, “This place is thriving, with axes, swords, and... and,” he stopped as he noticed a dridder seamstress walk by the window.

“And giant... spider... ladies...” The last parts of his sentence trailing off. He then hit himself on the head with his mug. This man had issues. I left the insane guy to go deal with normal crazy people.

“Welcome back Alice!”

“So did you hear about the rumor that Lem wears panties?”
“That I did. Lilly started it. I got one better, Jim had sex as a woman. With Meina as the man.”

“That was a low blow Alice.”

“...How the Hell does that even work?” Alaric asked.

“See when you have access to enough succubi magic, anything like that is possible. We sell potions that have a similar effect” Lilly said.

“There’s that amulet you’re letting us borrow too.” Belle added.

“And there was that guy back a while ago who got that belt as a gift.” Said Vector

“Damn it all of you. Not helping.” Jim said.

“Does it happen when you get in hot water as well?” Said the helmed man.

>>21107741
I looked up from serving when the little bell on the door rang as another couple walked in and did a double take. Soraya was a rare sight in the Trader, even more rare was the sight of her in a full length dress with Tanash on her wing.

“And there’s the lovely couple that I’ve been worrying about. Is it true that you're done with the fight Shackles? None of us have seen you much since you got back.” I said making my way over to them.

“Seems so, last trip proved you can’t do this kind of thing alone anymore.”

“Well I can safely say all of us are glad you did as long as you did. We know it was tough on you. You too Soraya. Come on take a seat and I’ll grab you something to eat.” I said pushing the two over to the table with the rest of the gang. It felt right. Just about everyone was here, just not those two fun suckers Lem and Kikki.

>>21107762


“No and fuck your shitty jap porn. Just when you drink the potion or Lilly has enough magical might to power the spell. Now shush or I’ll let Lilly have whatever fun she wants with clothes magic.” Jim said.

The helmed man stood there, for what felt like forever.

“Is she a yoshi?” he finally asked

“Yes goku, shes a fucken green dinosaur.Then everyone be making a bridge and they don't even know why any more."

“JOoooeKAge!” screeched the helmed man.

“I can't go back to prison. My butthole can't take that kind of abuse."

“Did you see that one lad, his pancreas came right out of his tear duct.”

“Now be a good boy and get daddy a beer."

“That was a 70 inch... plasma screen TV. Soooo how can I help you”

“Rake Man, we sell rakes. Only rakes"

“Well someone is going to get raped.”

“Then the actors in rubber suits unionized, then they quit.”
At this the helmed man stood there, again, before half-heartingly spoke, “Godzilla?”

“Nice try, but nope. Metabots Abridged.”

“You....” he pointed. “I make you... Straganov Suicide.”

“Sounds good to me.”

“You know, I should be used to this kind of thing by now.” Kuro said, with a flat look on her face.

“You can never be seven popped collars cool, but you can learn. Anyhow what ya name be Strangerrr?” Jim said doing some odd voice.

>>21107803
The insane man removed his helm but his face was still obscured by the fact his hair flooded out, reaching past his neck, as soon as it was gone.

“My old name has been lost to me long years in this land. By the Orks I am called Uoiulkeor, Food Breaker, most likely as a joke.”

“Orks call me Ozgrumuch, Weapon Eater. Unfortunately not a joke. Orcs call me Lord Ozgrumuch. But everyone else calls me Jim.

“Fate must have mixed those second words around. You may call me...” he stood there, yet again, lost in his little world called his thoughts.

“Ahem.”

“What,” he said, back in reality.

“Your name?”

“Dway.”

“Good to meet ya Dway.”

“How did you learn my name, can you read minds?”

“Fuck the hell yes I can. As can my Waifu Lilly here. And she is telling me that I must end the night early. See you around y'all.” Jim said, getting up from the table. Lilly and Meina following behind.

The rest of the gang left soon after after, most giving similar reasons. And thus ended another eventful night at the Rogue Trader

>>21107783
Temporal disturbances have interfered with this broadcast. Please stand by for further information.

The Demonslaying warriors of the Caliph turned their steeds to face us in the aftermath, wiping blood from their swords even as the Dwarves and I dismounted the carriage, the man at the head of the group removed its helm to reveal a head full of teeth. no eyes or nose, just one big gaping maw filled with Serrated, knife like teeth.
"well fuck me" i managed to mutter before it reached us.

>>21107931
still waiting for more

Maze's maid-chan is all I can imagine when I see elves now

But she is pure waifu so I don't care

File: 1350151767845.jpg-(35 KB, 1024x576, mouth_of_sauron2.jpg)

>>21107931
I can't be the only one thinking of this guy, can I?

http://youtu.be/To_RJ_mPNqM

File: 1350153691104.jpg-(658 KB, 1708x1360, find dragon babysitter.jpg)

>be looking through old pics
>find this
oh god i know where my character is going

>>21109072
http://mangafox.me/manga/corseltel_no_ryuujitsushi/
source for anyone that wants it

How out of place would a generic magical girl be in TeeGee?

>>21111125
Alice the Barmaid is secretly one. Well a Magical Warrior girl. As shes grown up.

>>21111171
Who gets to take he on her first magical adventure?

>>21111223
Shackles saved her from slavers so I guess him

>>21111273
but shacklesbane retired, so he may have someone else take care of her out in the field

>>21111352
Minidragon cat girl

>>21111381
Minidragon fox girl?

File: 1350166176743.jpg-(576 KB, 2560x1920, sh3b0180.jpg w=450&h=337.jpg)

>>21111381
Nyaahah

Pic is my face when I don't have a little dragon catgirl.

>>21111381
what? where did the minidragon cat girl come from

>>21111838
Its Alice's magical guide. Its a personification of her magic power or something

Before I came here, I was convinced that my adventure in life was over. As such, it was my duty to teach the younger generation, to prepare them.

But when I came to this realm, everything changed. My life began again. I didn't realize it at first, and if it hadn't been for the people here I would've wasted away during that first winter. I thank you all for this chance you've given me, so I can experience life to its fullest. Cerran, Wilhelm, Lem, everyone I've met over these seven years; thank you. Thank you for making me realize that my time is not yet over.

>>21111862
Let's write it. Even if it's just fiction within fiction, it's too good to pass up.

QQ (Quick Question) for all of you.

My next section on the squids is fast approaching the 40+ mark (it's gotten out of hand, and I couldn't stop myself), so should I post it here, or wait till the next thread?

>>21114589
That's only about 30-40 posts.

>>21114589
Go for it. Its not even 200 posts.

>>21114645
No wait... That's 100 or so? Maybe? Fill up the thread.

>>21114589
Like I said in the last thread, you can see the post count by enabling thread statistics in the [Settings] menu.

>>21114224
As I see it we have two options. Alice writes self insert fiction during her free time or she has shaman magic for some reason.

>>21114850
I don't see her being part orc/ork, but Kanin might have the shamanic magic. Self-insert fiction would be easier.

>>21114884
She doesn't need to be an Orc to use shaman magic. Just a close connection to the earth. But yes fiction would be easier. We could have her base chars off of people she knows and they are all super-exagerated. But I kind of like Hero by day, barmaid by night.

>>21114884
>>21114926
Anyone who wants to help create this chaos feel free to hope on over.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1bi5xq9_bceHAgrN_NS1hx-2_yWjbvOrox2RHENaZvpw/edit

http:images/1350184485475.jpg

is it just me or does this look a lot like the uniform we had drawn up

>>21115412
Not quite, but I can see the similarities.

>>21115510
Hey Fluffy am I the only one having google docs problems?

>>21115579
I'm not having any issues that I've noticed.

>>21115579
What sort of problems?

>>21116344
For some reason it would not connect to Google docs. It got fixed after I reset my router though.

File: 1350195373192.jpg-(100 KB, 450x253, praise-the-sun.jpg)

Hi diary, I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to do here. Dad bought you for me after I asked him about his diary. He says I’m just supposed to write in you about anything but I don’t know what to write. My name’s Ember, I know it sounds stupid since it means a small fire, but Dad also calls that big Mountain guy Smalls so that means that he’s really saying that I’m actually a big fire, like the sun. Still wish the other kids wouldn’t make fun of me for it though. Dad says that I’m not allowed to light anyone on fire either so I can’t show off how awesome I am. Ooh, I know, we need a war. Mamma Rydia says that she got to set lots of people on fire when the orks attacked, which means I’d get to kill people too. The grown ups would send all us kids off to one of the shelters and then some guys will find their way to us anyway and everyone will be all scared and then I’ll transform and tackle one guy and break his neck and then when they’re all surprised I’ll use the magic knife Dad got me to set all the other guys on fire and then everyone will see how awesome I am and they’ll all say stuff like “Oh Ember, you’re so awesome. We’re sorry for making fun of you” and then they’ll see how gloriously glowy I am.

File: 1350195418868.jpg-(16 KB, 400x300, mtg judge pillow fort.jpg)

>>21117641
I have to find my own place too. It’s not like I want to live away from Dad and Mommas but I still need somewhere to hide all my stuff and I can’t do that in the house since even though the house is safe from the outside people already inside can get into my fort and take my stuff. It’s gonna have to be pretty nearby though since Dad says that if I go off for days at a time then people will go looking for me and it will just make it more likely for them to find my spot. Also if I miss class too much the teachers will come and tell my parents. I’ll have to move my hiding spot eventually though so I can have the best hiding spot there is even if it’s not around here. Auntie Kuro says that she was able to move her stuff to the city all the way from the kanin islands and if she can do that then when I’m older I’ll be able to move my stuff anywhere. I bet I could even move my stuff all the way across the western ocean, no one would think to look there and even if they did they couldn’t reach it. I wonder if there are any volcanoes across the western ocean like that one in the mountains up north. That would be the best hiding spot ever, a volcano across the western ocean. I’m gonna go look for a spot now diary, I’ll write more later.

File: 1350195468802.jpg-(59 KB, 300x400, moomba.jpg)

>>21117651
Hi diary, I’m back. It’s been a busy day. I’ve been out looking for a hiding spot and no I’m not gonna say where but I was smart enough to use some of the tips Dad gave me and make it harder to follow me. Anyway I was out exploring when I found some imps attacking this weird animal thing that Dad called a moomba that looked kind of like a little tiger only its fur made it look like it was made out of fire, which is awesome. I bet it’d be really good in a fight if it weren’t getting ganged up on. So yea I decided to help the moomba so I transformed and attacked the imps. I know Dad says not to attack things just because of what they are cause not everyone is normal for their race and even Miss Lilly is a demon and she’s nice even if she’s weird, but these imps were ganging up on something so it’s ok, just wish that there were some other people around to see how awesome I was.

File: 1350195529966.gif-(973 KB, 500x281, panda kick.gif)

>>21117664
While I was being all awesome and killing imps, which taste bad by the way so don’t bite into them, I got some help from this thing that looks like a black and white kitty mixed with a bear that Dad says is called a panda cat. It was standing up on a little cliff and then let out what sounded like a weird meow and it jumped off the cliff and dive kicked one of the imps to death and helped me fight the rest of them. It was really awesome, almost as awesome as me, and when the imps were all dead and the moomba was hurt the panda cat went off and came back with some herbs that Mamma Kari uses to help with pain. I helped the moomba with the herbs and by using some of my dress as bandages and giving it some food and then I asked the panda cat if it knew any good places to turn into a hidden fort. I know I should probably find my fort myself but this panda cat seems like a champion of justice and Dad says that you should trust champions of justice or people that ride kamens, whatever those are.

File: 1350195568867.jpg-(62 KB, 600x450, grotto.jpg)

>>21117672
The panda cat took me and the moomba, which followed me because I think it likes me, to this cool cave place that’s gonna make an awesome base. The entrance is caved in most of the way so we had to kind of squeeze our way in. I think the place used to be used by people for something because it had this pool with a little walkway into the middle. The pool’s too cold though so I’m gonna have to buy a bunch of hot rocks to make it nice and warm. When I went back home the moomba and the panda cat followed me with the panda cat riding the moomba and I got to keep them because I was smart and asked Dad before anyone else and Dad almost never tells me no plus he was really happy that I brought back that yellow stuff the imps left behind when they died. Since the panda cat is a champion of justice I decided to name it Filkiati, which is draconic for justice, and since the moomba looks like it’s made out of fire I named it Ixen, which is draconic for fire. Anyway I need to get to sleep since I’m tired because it was a long day and tomorrow I’m gonna have to get to work fixing up my fort. I need to find a job too since I don’t think even Dad will buy me all the hot rocks I need. Auntie Kuro used to guard animals, I bet I could do that. Plus I may even get to kill some bandits. Goodnight diary.

>>21117641
Just so you know, Lem has declared dragons to be magical hermaphrodites that can fuck or be fucked by anything, regardless of the dragon's chosen gender. I'm not sure if his mind can be changed.

>>21118055
when the fuck did i miss this?

File: 1350199132394.gif-(1.33 MB, 592x448, 1330903826641.gif)

>>21118055

>>21118055
Seriously? This be some joke or something?

>>21118268
No it is not. He has said so about 4 or 5 times now.

>>21118329
>>21118268
>>21118252
>>21118140
>>21118055
ITT Furries with identity issues.

>>21118329
>When was this?

File: 1350201365828.png-(751 KB, 1072x1095, 10b5c94609d12ac2630ada9c4(...).png)

>>21117678
I like this, and am looking forward to more of Ember's antics. Also, you really have the childish writing style down.

File: 1350201659763.png-(22 KB, 160x160, 1348763542430.png)

>>21118140
>>21118252
>>21118268
This is basically DnD canon as I have been made to understand it. The idea is similar to that of Changelings. Technically, they have no gender except that which they choose for themselves. Because of this, anything that is the offspring of a dragon will continue to be a dragon. This is because Dragons are so few and rare and solitary and slow reproducing compared to the rest of the races of the Realm that they MUST be able to reproduce as necessary with other creatures. this concept is also the impetus for dragon dildos as I understand. This sort of thing doesn't come out of nowhere. However, with a properly handled story, it does not need to become something obnoxious as dragon dildos have become. Have some maturity, and you'll have something that no one could call cancer. But remember, MATURITY.

For more information, see Conversation with a Clover, where myself and Clover discussed the origins of many species and how they worked in the greater realm of TeeGee:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/11PjkZ2hsPmXos4-Xexhvc-cPrrG0CsZ5Q6uSP5NtZlw/edit

>>21118540
For the record, having Demons is fine and all, they are a different of creature than the Fae. (Just made of the same not-actually-meat-and-bone-energies).

So, on the "exotic" energy scale, there are
"+ve" = Angels, Gods, et al
"neutral" = Fae/Fey/those-creepy-fairy-dudes-that-fall-over-when-you-throw-staples-at-them
"-ve" = Guess who?

With Dragons wherever they feel like. The word Fae is too much of an umbrella term, I feel, much like the mess that has been made of "First Magic".

P.S. Squids? Not on the scale.

>>21118668
Note:

General guide only, not set in stone.
Do not take this as indication of only Demons, Faeries, Gods existing in the "exotic" energy spectrum.

This has been a PSA brought to you by the number 2, which is deadly to humans.

>>21118668
>>21118677
Thank you for agreeing with me.

>>21118696
How's that journey to hell going, anyway?

Do note that the Five are long gone, becoming some sort of boogieman or urban legend in Hell.

>>21118709
I need to stop adding new stories all the time. I haven't touched it in like 4 days now. I keep getting roped into colabs that take up all my writing time. But it will be done with in the month. Just right after the Kanin legend, Boxing, Catmas, City, Prisoner (which is not a colab), Marick, Alice, Merpeople, and a couple others I can't remember. I have to much on my plate still/again. And not enough sleep

>>21118747
You're forgetting the Capture the Ball match you said you were going to write.

Anyway, write whatever you feel like writing. No pressure.

And...once again I'm out of stuff to write about. Tried doing a hunting story, but scrapped that after the fifth time I restarted it.

>>21118747
>Boxing
You have my attention good sir. Please explain in greater detail.

>>21120881
It's something I'm working on. He's just helping me because haven't got a clue about boxing.

>>21118540
being able to breed with any race i can get, but the "choose their gender" thing goes against part of The Witch's story (female dragon wanted child with female lamia but couldn't because of genders so let herself be screwed by random male dragon) as does the "have to have a connection" part, and the "no half dragons" thing goes against artorias's Prescilla (who seems to lack a dragon's multiple forms, indicating not full dragon)

Well then, I can't think of anything else to do, so screw it, time for another report on demonic dealings.

File: 1350233989932.gif-(956 KB, 500x282, 1348018846908.gif)

Per your request, I have compiled a report of known demonic associations of Sir Artorias of the Harmen Knights.

The most obvious contact he has if with the ones he has slain over the years, mostly demons described in the Librarium Demonicus as bull demons and capra demons, both species of war demons and, as you are no doubt aware, are known for being incredibly dangerous, even for group of soldiers. While it is difficult to say how many of these things he has killed, estimates range from as low as thirty to as many as two hundred. I personally believe closer to one hundred is a more accurate guess, but that point is purely academic. What is not is the fact that many testimonies state that he often kills them without assistance from his compatriots, a suicidal notion if ever there was one.

There are also his dealings with the succubus, Lily, though our records show very few dealings between the two of them. By a few testimonies he professed to avoid her because her presence was unnerving to him, something I’m certain is understandable considering the stories involving such creatures. It is strange that as deviant as he and his fellows are he does have a line to draw. Perhaps some of them are not completely devoid of sense.

File: 1350234034101.jpg-(74 KB, 500x706, 1347677915668.jpg)

There is his suspected demonic involvement prior to his battle with the abyss in Anor Londo, but until recently is has only been theories and hearsay, but a recent discovery in the dwarven mountains points towards a long-term deal with the infernal. Based on what was said by a few of the knights who accompanied him, he spoke to one of the demons at great length in their own tongue. They also mentioned that even as he ran the creature through she kissed him.

Based on the description of the demon, I suspect it was either Queelogg or “The Fair Lady,” both demonic nobles of some kind, though there have been no sighting of either one in some time. My guess is that he made a deal with one of them through one of their minions some years ago and this gave him the ability to speak directly to them. Strangely enough, the amount of demons present in the cavern near where he encountered the lord indicates that the dwarves may have stumbled upon a prison, but since the dwarves have already excavated the area, it is impossible to confirm this.

I appreciate your patience on this matter, m’lord, but there are so few viable sources on such matters, and I dare not look through many of them.

>>21121807
>>21121799
And there we have it.

I have no idea where I'm taking this, but I'm sure I'll figure something out. Might just have Michael stumble on them later.

>>21121807
>english is the native tongue of demons
i laughed far harder than i should have

So apparently you guys turned everything into hermaphrodites. Well done.

>>21121850
Well, some arab claim that 'Murica is the great satan, so what the hell, I'll roll with that.

Could also be the covanent, but that was in another bit. Aside from Lily I don't think anyone else has spoken to demons yet.

>>21121475
Actually, none of that vibes with the Witch story, however, there might be an exception for procreation between dragons always resulting in fertility. This in addition to this dragon who was partner to the Lamia wasn't telling the whole truth,

With regards to the many "forms" of a dragon, I only referenced that they are able to shapeshift, and not if there were any limitations to it. If Priscilla lacks a Dragon form, then she's not a Dragon. Limitations to a dragon's shapeshifting ability have both to do with age and heritage and so if Priscilla has difficulty shapeshifting, so there's probably a decent enough reason for that. Some Dragons simply cannot change very dramatically beyond their Dragon form. In fact, I would believe that there is some evidence offspring with humanoid races initially gave Dragons their ability to shapeshift into smaller creatures in addition to old magic.

>>21121863
Only creatures that have a known and excepted shapeshifting abilities. It's magic so I don't gotta explain shit, so don't get your codpiece in a wad.

>>21121894
Uh... technically the Common Trade language is more or less English. I'm pretty sure this got mentioned before. Because English is basically a developed pigeon language, to have the demons speak it seems a bit strange to me. I mean, it would make sense that they spoke it as natives, so that they could whisper in as many people's ears as possible, but as a demon language it really only makes sense for 'I ain't gotta explain shit' magic reasons. I mean, I always thought that the common language of the realm would be English anyway.

>>21118892
Like I said I knew I forgot somethings. Capture the ball should be this week. Just need to change a few thinks from flag to ball. Mechanics need to change a bit also.

>>21122257
>none of that vibes with the Witch story
thread 22
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/20981001/#p21005754
>“My lover was a dragon. She loved me and I loved her. The egg was given to her by a male dragon, not by me....but she wanted me to be able to have a child with her, so she let a male dragon take her by force. She didn't want to mate with one, so she had to....to find one who would force himself on her.”
shows dragons have specific genders and aren't hermaphrodites, since the dragon would have been able to have an egg with the lamia, and shows that there is no need for a connection to the mate since she was able to be fertilized by another random dragon rather than her waifu

>This in addition to this dragon who was partner to the Lamia wasn't telling the whole truth,
i'm sorry but that comes off as sounding a lot like "what's already been written doesn't match what i want so it's wrong"

>With regards to the many "forms" of a dragon, I only referenced that they are able to shapeshift, and not if there were any limitations to it.
limits were set up in thread 5
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/20698883/#p20702190
>Turns out dragons are capable some basic shape shifting, they have the dragon form, the human form, and a form that looks like a human plus wings, claws, tail, and horns.
and further in thread 24
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/20698883/#p20702190
>their human for can look like pretty much whatever they want, but is set after they take it for the first time.

>>21122832
>If Priscilla lacks a Dragon form, then she's not a Dragon.
this is true, since as far as i can tell she's not a dragon, she's a half dragon. based on crossbreed priscilla from dark souls if i'm right. first line i found was in thread 22, though i'm pretty sure it was mentioned before that
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/20981001/#p20990488

>Limitations to a dragon's shapeshifting ability have both to do with age and heritage and so if Priscilla has difficulty shapeshifting, so there's probably a decent enough reason for that.
the reason being that her heritage isn't full dragon

>Some Dragons simply cannot change very dramatically beyond their Dragon form. In fact, I would believe that there is some evidence offspring with humanoid races initially gave Dragons their ability to shapeshift into smaller creatures in addition to old magic.
i have seen none of this evidence

>>21122844
you've written some really nice stuff Fearghaile, but your take on dragons seems to be going against at least 3 other writefags

File: 1350241117923.png-(389 KB, 800x700, 1334438744493.png)

>>21122844
>>21122832
Half dragon, half-snow woman based on the most recent thing I did regarding that. Highly implied since thread...2 or 3 I think. Haven't really done much on her since the mandatory Dark Souls plug and teaching her how to make icecream.

>>21122257
Demons naturally speak abyssal. Not a very pretty. SOunds something like rapekillmainfuckersouls to the normal ear
>>21121799
War Demons are like cossli. I though we agreed that capra were just normal demons and bull demons were monsterus demons.

>>21121475
You also have to consider that the dragon may not have wanted to father a child and wanted to be the mother. Lamia don't generally change genders, and there is absolutely no reason she wasn't the butch of the pairing...which, if you look carefully, was very much the case.

>>21123556
Siege demons, I believe, were the colossals.

Bull and Capra demons are still pretty close to 20ft tall if that counts for anything.

>>21123622
I never said anything 'bout siege demons. But how about capra and bull demons being monstrous. Then again I only played demons souls once. So don't know if that fits. How smart they are I don't know

>>21123926
They seem to have a level of intelligence about the same as an orc. Savage, but not stupid, and one very annoying capra has some pet dogs.

>>21124029
Monstrous then. Definitively monstrous. War demons are like the battle ships. Monsters are like tanks. Rank and File are the foot soldiers

>>21123575
Also this is why Lilly sells potions of temporary gender change

>>21124196
I jumped on the amulet of gender change so I wouldn't have to think about the stuff Lem came up with.

>>21124196
Plus /tg/ and /d/ are close friends, and I KNOW at least three of us have wanted to see what it's like to be a girl.

>>21124094
A demon's a demon. A sword through the eye will kill them like anything else, even the big ones, you just might need silver to do it is all.

>>21124267
Belle has a magic sword of demon slaying. The sword also lights itself on fire, but that doesn't really help kill demons. The maker just thought it looked cool that way.

>>21124229
It's not all it's cracked up to be, unfortunately. Being the big boy, on the other hand, has a certain appeal. :P

>>21124290
Both genders have their ups and downs. Some want to experience both.

>>21124305
I was being silly.

>>21124345
I know.
Gender swapping could be a lot of fun though. Maybe even too much fun. Makes me wish we had ways to do temporary gender changes.

>leave for yardwork
>come back
>everyone is hermaphrodite
what the fuck?

Hermaphrodites? Oh dear.

>>21124533
I've learned to not ask too many questions about what other characters do.

>>21118540
By the way in. In DnD they do have set gender. And can't do sex change with out side magic. Also
>>21124229
See its funny as I am just about the personification of TG and Lilly is just about the personification D. And now I no what we are doing for Halloween.
>>21124267
Except for the ones who don't have eyes and what not.

>>21124640
4chan ball!

>>21124686
And since my brother is more K than K I just need some one to fill the other roles.

>>21124640
If it's against something that ridunculous, it's time to assume the standard dragon fighting position and aim for the brown eye, then remind everyone else that this is, more than likely someone's fetish.

>>21124533
>>21124569
...I'm with these guys, and I'm writing stories about the Thing crossed with the Geth Consensus.

BTW My take on Demon language? Your brain refuses to hear what they say, and there Do exist spells of translation...

ok, with regards to the whole hermaphroditic dragons i'm going to have to object. not on the grounds of whether or not i like the idea, but on the grounds that i don't like other people retconning my characters. having someone tell me that one of my characters is really a hermaphrodite just doesn't sit with me

>>21124727
Get Alaric or A Witch as /x/. The whole side story about the abominations are creepy as hell, and the magics and riddles involved from A Witch make everything suddenly very strange.

>>21124965
Just remember that all stories are a matter of perspective.

Artorias has a covenant with the Fair Lady, so that could allow him to talk to her sister, so it's possible he just heard the words as English and vise versa.

The previous piece is just from an old curator's investigation, because why would a noble write his own research paper when he's got people for that?