>>21075981
Two ogres sit next to each other. The smaller one, already twice as tall as most standard humanoids, gnaws on his mostly-indigestible, mostly-unidentifiable object with relish, stopping every few minutes to chew futilely with broad, flat teeth. The larger one stares drooling at the sky, eyes slightly crossed as he contemplates nothing in particular. For a few hours, neither feels any need to disturb their companionable silence.

That ends when the larger one suddenly speaks up. "So I was thinkin'."

That grabs the smaller one's attention. "You was doin' what?"

"I was thinkin'," the larger one repeats, choosing his words carefully. "We should get a buncha guys together an' do something."
(Cont.)

>>21075988
The smaller one puts his food(?) down, side-eying the other ogre. For their race, that was almost a brainy statement. "What, you mean... a BUNCHA guys? Like, lots?"

"Yeah. I'll call 'em to this landmark-like thing here." The larger ogre climbs to his feet with a grunt, the ground shaking slightly beneath his footsteps.

The shorter ogre scratches his head. "What's a landmark?"

"You know. It's..." The larger ogre looks up and gestures eloquently at the thing rising above their heads. "... it's this thing. This thing with the things."

"Yeah, but what's this thing with the things called again?"

The larger ogre pauses, his vocabulary momentarily failing him. Now THAT is a very good question. He racks his brain, willing his two brain cells to meet somewhere in the empty wasteland of his skull cavity...

[ ] A great big tree sitting on a hill, surrounded by a plains of tall grass. It's cool.
[ ] A clifftop cave high up in the mountains, leading down into the depths. It's tall.
[ ] Some kind of big square broken rocky thing in the middle of the swamps. It's wet.
[ ] The only stone outcropping in the desert, and holy shit there's water coming out of the rock. It's magic. And also sand.
[ ] Hot springs, surrounded by ice and snow and tundra and shit. It's cold.
[ ] Write in (-Landmark- in -Biome-)

cliff top mountains

>>21075992
Magic stone in the desert. We ogre bedouins now, baby!

"The bubbly water hole!"
>Hot Springs in a tundra

'dat rock in da hot place, it feelz kinda funky in me gizzard.'

(desert)

mountains

>>21075992
Desert

>>21076032
votin for hotsprings

Mountains

Hotsprings, the ogre's massive bulk allows them to shrug off the cold.

(I would've voted for the big tree, but the votes are divided enough already)

>>21076213
big tree would have been cool, but when you think about it if they ever came under attack the first thing they would probably try is bombarding people with their buddies. lowering the population :x

>>21075981
You still here, OP?

>>21076032
>>21076049
>>21076128
>>21076148
>Oasis Springs in the Desert

The larger one stares at the strange, water-leaking rock outcropping for a few moments, the flow of water feeding the only green oasis for miles. "... you know, I got no damn clue what this thing's called," he replies. "It's a rock place with water, and it's hot an' sandy here."

The shorter ogre looks around, his eyes widening. "Wait, wot? But we was just sittin' in grass a second ago-"

"No we weren't."

"But we was totally-"

"Naw, there was always sand here, dummy." The larger ogre frowns, looking faintly worried. "... right?"

The shorter ogre scratches his head, the force of the larger one's compelling and foolproof argument overwhelming his feeble brain. "... I guess so?"

The larger ogre nods. Someone agrees with him, therefore he is correct, all is right with the world. "Right. Gonna yell out for the ogres now. If I fall, don't eat the green wobbly bit in my tummy." And with that, he trundles towards the rocks to begin the arduous process of climbing them.

(Cont.)

>>21076312
***FIVE DAYS LATER***
Twenty ogres (plus or minus 'a buncha') mill around the oasis, some of them placidly sitting in the hot sand (and ignoring their slowly-roasting buttocks), some staring entranced and glassy-eyed at the flow of water, and the others looking expectantly at the larger ogre, waiting with the patience of the truly slow-witted.

The larger ogre looks around, picking at his tusks uncertainly. He has the sinking feeling that more might start trickling in as the days go on- this is a LOT more ogres than he'd planned for. Instinctively, he realizes that he needs to do something to keep them here, otherwise they'll start hitting each other for lack of anything better to do.

"Okay," he mutters, "um." To be honest, he hadn't planned this far ahead.

One of the others pipes up. "What're we doin'?"

"Gimme a second." The larger ogre tilts his head up to the sky and adopts his cross-eyed, drooling stance. Think, think, think...

[ ] Food! Like... actual edible things.
[ ] Explore! Play to the ogres' curiosity.
[ ] Headcount! Okay, what can we all do here?
[ ] Write-in! What do you get when you put twenty ogres together?

[x] Explore! Play to the ogres' curiosity.

>>21076315
[x] Explore! Find some shiny things!

[x ] Food! Like... actual edible things.
>Besides other,smaller Ogres

>>21076328
votin explor

Food

tundra would of been better then desert much better. Even mountains would of been better. find food.

>>21076315
Dig! We gonna dig for a bit, look for things in the sand around the thing.

>>21076376
no use now or path is set

>Explore
Before the larger ogre can say anything, another ogre suddenly pipes up. "Say, did you guys see anyfing strange on the way over?"

There's a barrage of voices as the ogres immediately latch onto this new topic with childish excitement.

"I saw a tree!"
"There was a fing!"
"I saw a BIGGER fing!"
"A dead fing! It was bony and kinda mad."
"I stepped on a little man on the way here! He went squish! Hur, hur, hur."
"... all I got was a rock."

The larger ogre claps his meaty hands together, beaming. "Right then! We're all here to go and see what else there is 'round here, so that we can see what's 'round here, and then we could totally meet back here to tell each other what we all saw 'round here."

A stunned, awestruck silence greets this suggestion.

"... holy shit," another ogre breathes. "We can all like... look at things, and then TELL each other that we saw things! And then we ALL know what things we saw!! Are you a genius?"

The larger ogre frowns. "Don't call me names!"

That settled, the ogres disperse into the wilds, set on exploration and adventure! (Immediately, five of the ogres start walking in circles around the rock outcropping, hopelessly lost for all of five minutes.)

>***STUPID LUCKY TIME?***
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
Taking the first result.

Rolled 20

>>21076503
rollin!

Rolled 72

>>21076503
Rollan fer ogres.

Rolled 60

>>21076503
yes it tiem. hurrdurrr luck dice magic roll

>>21076518
>Rolled 20...

Over the course of the next day, the ogres slowly trickle back to Oasis Springs, looking slightly disheartened; the seemingly endless, landmark-sparse desert is hard to trek through, and even harder when your brain's the size of an orange.

A few of them still haven't returned yet, but they huddle up into a group anyway, recounting what little they could find.

"I couldn't find dat tree. Just sand."
"Dat fing was gone by the time I got back there. Also just sand."
"Same with the bigger fing. MY SAND WAS TOTALLY BIGGER. THO'."
"I think the bones got eaten, an' not by me."
"... all I got was a rock."

The larger ogre scratches his head, frowning as he tries to sort out which direction which ogre went to. Maybe it would help if this wasn't their first time exploring. "... wait, we're missin' a couple guys, aren't we?"

"Hey! Hey guys! Good news!"

The huddled mass of ogres turn as one, quickly spotting one of the stray ogres returning home- and then they stare as they notice that he's completely surrounded by short, squat, scimitar-wielding beetle-men as tall as the ogre's knees.

"I found the little men that I stepped on! An' they all really wanted to meet us!"

The beetle-men chitter angrily, their eyes flaring red at the sight of the massed ogres.

"We're all gonna be really good friends!"

(Cont.)

>>21076779
The beetles-and-captured-ogre stop a good distance away from the Oasis Springs, and one steps forward, waving his scimitar in an agitated manner. "You... you... big-huge brutes!" it shrieks. "Your brother-brute stepped on worker-caste!"

"Yah. They went squish," the ogre adds helpfully. One beetle-man kicks the ogre in the shin, which is ignored by all parties involved.

"Payment! Scaratones want payment! Otherwise-"

The larger ogre holds up a hand. "... what's payment?"

... the beetle-man stares for a few long seconds, one eye twiching irritably.
(Cont.)

>>21076787
Perhaps surprisingly, the beetle-men are more than willing to take the time to spell it out for the ogres. It takes a few long, long hours of discussion, explanation, and simple diagrams sketched out in the sand, but eventually, the meaning comes through loud and clear:

"... so you want to eat some of us boys 'cause your boys were stepped on," the larger ogre repeats, frowning.

"Yes! Finally you get it! ... well, no, not the eating part, but still." The beetle-man jabs the air with its scimitar, its eyes glittering fervently. "Arm for arm! Eye for eye! Ritual killing, five of your brute-brothers, fair exchange; worker caste is sacred, law protects! If agree, we don't muster the grand might of the Scaratones to crush your puny... town? Village? Heap of manure."

The larger ogre frowns even more deeply, eying the short beetle-man and his group of warriors warily. These guys are short, but... their scimitars look sharp, man. Real sharp. He doesn't much fancy getting cut by those things. Better some of the other ogres than him.

On the other hand, the ogres probably COULD step on them easily...

[ ] Agree to the beetle-men's demands- sacrifice five ogres to avoid fighting for now.
[ ] Refuse. Little men go squish.
[ ] Write-in. Is there a third option...?

>>21076801
. 'Ey they wanna hurt some boys. Squish 'em!

>>21076801

[x] write in: "we reel sorry bout that - maybe we can do wudever yur worker cask was supposa be doin?"

>>21076801
Tell the assembled ogres to stomp all over the beetle-men, selling it as something fun to do. If and when we kill all of them, take their stuff, and figure out what to do from there.

>>21076842
this. advance the ogre species by fighting smarter not harder... or sometimes not at all

Do the beetles make silly noises and/or feel funny when you squish them? If so, let's make some beetlejuice

Rolled 84

>>21076854
I dont wish to become slaves, not when we're on a good getting smarter curve. Lets see if we can just intimidate them to leave us alone.

>>21076842
I agree wit dis.

>>21076801
Tell them to stick it. Offer to prevent more squishing if they help to build us some nice huts to squat in.

>>21076874

We dunno if how many dere are. we can always squish 'em later if we wanna, but furst we gunno see woz up.

>>21076894

so "wotch and lern"?

squish em
We don't care about their pointy metal stuff!

>>21076903
this, lets see what we can learn from these bug guys

Okay, I THINK that's:

- Squish: 4 votes
- Offer to work: 3 votes
- Threaten: 3 vote

It's a little hard to tell what's a vote and what's not- any more votes? If not, gonna start writing in five minutes!

Lets not squish them. At least until those scimitars go far, far away. I think we need to not squish them until we have polearms.

>>21076974
i vote offer to work

>>21076974
well I think that we should work for'em. we can learn stuff 'n den we can steal their pointy things

OKAY, five minutes are up!

TIME TO DIPLOMACY THESE GUYS SO HARD THEY EXPLOD- oh, wait, no, never mind, we're trying actual diplomacy.

Vote over!

>>21077010
ummm op? you alive bro?

>>21077198
>>21077010
I'm also wondering that.

>>21077198
>>21077216
Sorry, I'm kind of a slow writer. Post should be up in a few.

>>21077248
just makin sure you live bro

File: 1349930719402.png-(1 KB, 138x108, beetleman.png)

>Offer

Most of the others are watching the back-and-forth between the larger ogre and the beetle-men in rapt, uneasy fascination, but some of the other ogres are baring their teeth and muttering audibly ("who does 'ee fink he is, he's tiny an' he wants to stomp on us, we'll stomp 'em flat,").

Still... the larger ogre ignores them all. He silently continues studying the beetle-men, his lips moving as he counts their scimitar-wielding warriors under his breath.

One...
One an' one...
One an' one an' one...
Many...
Many an' one...
...
... lots.

"Okay." The larger ogre scratches his head, and goes cross-eyed, slowly and carefully choosing his words. "... okay. You can 'ave five of the guys. But," he adds, raising his voice to speak over the chittering of the beetle-men and the muttering of the ogres. "How 'bout you don't kill 'em?"

"What!?" The beetle-man- the Scaratone sputters, mandibles clacking together in consternation. "That is not good law! That is not good trade! We don't-"
(cont.)

>>21077383

"You are tiny and round," the larger ogre rumbles, "therefore, you got tiny stringy little buggily beetle guts and muscles on sticks."

The short, rotund beetle-man sputters some more, his spindly arms shaking at this new affront, but before he can say any more-

"An' ogres, we are huge, and therefore we got huge muscles. Right? So we can pick up big, heavy things an' put 'em down so that you can do..." The larger ogre waves a hand airily. "... buggy things. Like crawl around an' eat things and fly and bite and get eaten by froggies."

The beetle-man pauses at that, his mandibles frozen in a half-extended position. One of his fellows quickly whispers something to him, and the beetle-man relaxes slowly, nodding to himself.

"... and your brute-brothers don't die. Yes, that would be good for us. One of you, does many-many times lifting as a small worker caste Scaratone! Yes, good." The Scaratone sticks his scimitar into the sand and rubs his hands together. "A deal, a deal we have! But if your brute-brothers squish another worker, they die, quick and fast and bloody. Got it?"

(Cont.)

Hittin' stuff is fun! Eheeheeheeheehee!

>>21077393

When the Scaratones leave, the five chosen ogres- the ones deemed LEAST likely to step on beetle-men- are sent off with them, presumably to go and work off the squish-beetle-men debt incurred by the ogres as a whole. And, as the ogres still have a few of their number missing from that bit of exploration, most of them go back to milling around Oasis Springs.

... the larger ogre breathes a sigh of relief. Now, at least, the remaining ogres are curious enough about the Scaratones and the lent-out ogres that they should stick around. Might as well get crackin' while we wait for that to pan out, eh?

**The ogres have formed a... collective thing!**

-----------------------------------------------
**Oasis Springs Ogres (temp name)**
- Population: 12/20? (-5 lent) (-2 missing)

- Food: Bits an' pieces.
- ????: Huh?
- Settlement: Ain't happenin'.

- ????: Bluh?
- ?????: Nuh?
- ????: I don' get it.
--------------------------------------

[A] Food: We're 'ungry! Let's figure this out.
[B] Settlement: We don' like sleepin' on the sand.
[C] Unlock Category: Discovery time!
[D] Examine Landmark More: Wot IS this all about, then?
[E] Write-in: Wot do?

>>21077404
[B] Settlement: Dun' let our buns roast in da sun!

>>21077404
[B]

Once we gots that we could do lots of odder tings, like agri-agricul, sticking plants in de grund, meybe in rows, and lettin dem grow.

>>21077404
[B] Settlement: Make it out of the rocks the other Ogre found.

>>21077404
We need A to start with - ogres are ALWAYS hungry. We should send half our ogres out to collect food. The ones that look sleepy and not all that hungry, so they don't eat everything in sight and forget to bring anything back. The other half should stay and work on D - we might be able to find some temporary caverns to live in until we can build proper settlement shelter.

>>21077444
this

>>21077404
[B] Improve settlement.
I don like dis, boss. Is real hot when it bright and cold when spooky. Wen we get some comfy sleeps?

>>21077404
A
Hey
Hey guys
I think
I think giant ogres might need to eat. A lot.

>>21077404

I fink B is the best. We need to make this place bigger so we don't get ogres wandering off or getting lost.

[B]

>>21077518
B is da best
We need a fing so other ogres wit food can bring us Theys food

How about we talk about settlement plans first while their minds aren't on their stomachs, and move onto food later when we've got housing hashed out?

>>21077532
This is a vote for B, incidentally.

>>21077532
i agree with this. also op you are a good writefagoot keep it up wot.

>>21077557
i fink so tu

>>21077557
I agree. OP is a good writefag, I like his style, and so far I like this quest a lot.

>[B] Settlement

Ogres are known for their hardiness; non-ogre field scholars and adventurers have noted, repeatedly, that ogres' thick skins allow them to survive horribly inhospitable climes and eke out a living in the most unlikely of places. From the ogre's point of view, however, being able to SURVIVE is a completely different thing from being able to live COMFORTABLY.

Most of the above (though in less words) flashes through the larger ogre's head, when he wakes up with his face in someone else's ass.

There's a moment of disorientation before he remembers- right, it's another morning. It's stupid hot in the daytime, but at night time, it's cold enough for the ogres to have to pile up into a Sleepin' Tower (best described as "one ogre sleeping face-down in the sand, with an ogre sleeping face-down on top of HIM for warmth, with a third ogre sleeping on top of THAT ogre for warmth, and so on and so forth until there's a twenty-foot tall pile of ogres reaching for the sky).

"ALRIGHT, DAT'S IT!" the larger ogre suddenly bellows, bracing his hands against the ogre beneath him and rolling off. In seconds, ogres are raining down from above as the entire Sleepin' Tower collapses, and hoarse screams of terror rend the air. "NO MORE SLEEPIN' TOWER! I ain't gonna have another butt-imprint in my cheek when I wake u- YES, I KNOW I SAID 'BUTT,' NO LAUGHIN'!" he growls, pointing at a pair of ogres giggling madly to themselves.

(cont.)

>>21077650
"But boss," another one whinges. "How'z we gonna make caves here? There ain't no hills or nuffin', an' we can't dig in sand. Not even mountains, just these... these rocks," he groans, punctuating that last bit by kicking a rock aside.

"Well, that's... um." The larger ogre's ill temper fades into befuddlement, and he squints up at the sky in search for answers. "I... ur..." He then looks back down at the ground, and then proceeds to stare at an ogre sitting on the ground. "Wait, wot's that there?"

The sitting ogre looks up from where he was stacking rocks, panicking as he quickly moves to dismantle his rock tower. "Wait, wot, I was listenin', don't cuff me, bro!"

"... huh." The larger ogre stares for a moment longer. Then, to the befuddled glances of the other ogres, he starts walking around and scuffing through the sand, picking up large flat rocks and... stacking them into new and unusual shapes.

AND HOLY FUCKING SHIT, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT, THEY STAY STACKED, IS THIS WIZARDRY!?

The larger ogre looks up and grins toothily, as the rocks on the rocks stay balanced on the rocks. "... gentlemen."

And thus, the next two days were consumed by the great rock-stacking frenzy.
(cont.)

>>21077663
The ogres are feeling quite good about themselves! And they really DO have cause to be overjoyed- Oasis Springs is now the proud site of the very first ogre houses!

... well, okay, calling them 'houses' would be a grossly generous overstatement. Most of the rock shanties are just about barely maybe kinda large enough for the ogres to sleep in. Though most ogres' feet, calves, or (in some cases) whole legs will end up sticking out the 'door', at least they're surrounded by three walls and protected from the elements! Just... hope that no one tries to knock them over. That would be bad.

In other news, one missing ogre is reunited with the... collective thing, and two more fresh faces have arrived!

The ogres are fucking PUMPED. (CHOOSE TWO ACTIONS)

-----------------------------------------------
**Oasis Springs Ogres (temp name)**
- Population: 16/22? (-5 lent) (-1 missing)

- Food: Bits an' pieces.
- ????: Huh?
- Settlement: Rock Shanties!

- ????: Bluh?
- ?????: Nuh?
- ????: I don' get it.
--------------------------------------

***CHOOSE TWO ACTIONS!!***
[A] Food: We're 'ungry! Let's figure this out.
[C] Unlock Category: Discovery time!
[D] Examine Landmark More: Wot IS this all about, then?
[E] Write-in: Wot do?

X[B]X Settlement: Sorry, boss, we don't got the know-how to make 'em better than dis.

(B) Oi! Lets get dis sun off our 'eads!

>>21077677
[A] Food: Boos, we hungry these rocks no taste good!

>>21077677
A. We must secure our food stuffs.

>>21077677
[A]

Try to find some tasty things that don't bite back when you eat them.

>>21077677
[A] Oi boss, deez fancy rock thingies are nice but they ain't good eats. Grogguts broke a toof tryin hur hur hur.

[D] 'ey Boss, why'd you choose dis here rock thingie anyway?

>>21077704
cacti would be ideal. I bet the thrones won't bother ogres none

>>21077677
A
D

>>21077677
[A}Time for eatin
[C] Wot's dis covery thing? Is it for rock towers?

Lets make hats! And look fer food! Wez keeps da sun off and wez also look spiffy!

>>21077677
A and C, less get sum a dat food ting going on. Meybe sum huntin and even puttin dem tater in der ground and letting dem grow more a dem.

(A) We needs us some meats, dem rocks don't taste so good.

>>21077704
Oh, and [D], too. Magic drinky, what secrets do you got?

>>21077717
urr I ment C not D

>Food
>Discovery

ALRIGHT, GUYS, ROLL 'EM, taking the first two!

>***STUPID LUCKY TIME?***
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)

Rolled 73

>>21077786

Rolled 46

>>21077786
I found sumthing, bos!

Rolled 78

rollin

Rolled 41

>>21077786
Oi boss I found sum good'uns

Rolled 91

>>21077786
Lookie boss, I found a big leafy dingy!

Imma wear lik' a hat!

>Food: 73 - LUCKY!
>Discovery: 46 - Good!

The other secret to the ogres' survival ties straight into their strange appearances, actually- no matter how strong or muscular an ogre might get, they still manage to cultivate beer bellies large enough to rival most inbred, excess-loving monarchs. Those stomachs are like camel humps- they store fat and flesh, acting as an extra fuel reserve.

... it also helps that ogres essentially have cast iron stomachs. The biggest problem that an ogre has isn't how inedible something is- it's how long it takes to digest said inedible things, thus preventing the ogre from going out and doing more productive things.

... not that the larger ogre thinks in quite those terms, but he's mildly annoyed when the ogres spend most of the day ranging far and wide for food and catching only scorpions the size of their pinky fingers.

"A'right, here's the plan," the larger ogre says during their next group huddle. "We gotta get more food, scorpions an' tiny lizards an' nasty-ass bitter roots ain't gonna keep us 'appy. Right? Right. There ain't nothin' to kill in this desert that we could find, no big an' hearty food to bring back."

One ogre raises his hand.

"... I told you, Grogguts, put yer hand down, you been chewin' on rocks, that don't count!"

Grogguts lowers his hand, looking sheepish as he picks the tooth fragments from his mouth. The larger ogre goes back to the group huddle, shaking his head in exasperation.

"Okay, we're gonna hafta do dis the hard way," he rumbles gravely. "You, you, an' you, you're with me. We're gonna go that way, and we're gonna keep walkin', an' we ain't gonna give up 'til we find good eats that we can bring back. You, you, and-"
(Cont.)

>>21078016
"'ey, boss!"

The larger ogre looks up- another ogre runs over, holding something large and silvery and flashy in one hand, and some sort of strange stick contraption over the other.

And the strangest part is how the other ogre seems to be wearing a dead snake on his head.

The larger ogre tears his gaze back to the ogre's face. "... huh, wot?"

"Fishy fings! In da water! They're kinda deep down, tho', but it's like... that rock shits 'em out sometimes! An' I made this thing," the ogre says proudly, holding up the string-attached-to-pole. "Fish love bitin' on snake bits, who woulda guessed?" The snake hat slides down his brow a bit.

The larger ogre stares. "How- wat- wait, how'd you OH FUCK IT HAS NO EYES," he shrieks as he gets a better look. Somehow, the fish's skin is nothing but pure white, and there are just... small indentations where the eyes should be.

The other ogre nods, his snake hat bobbing with the motion. "Doesn't make a difference in the taste, tho'."

"But-" The larger ogre squints at the thing. It really doesn't look any better in daylight. "That still looks nasty. An' what if it has some kinda sickness?"

The ogre shrugs. "Ain't stopped us before, boss."

The larger ogre ponders this for a moment. "Sounds legit." He pauses, staring at the other ogre's headgear. "... but what's that fing on your head, then?"

There's another pause. "... and where can -I- get one?"
(Cont.)

File: 1349936271881.png-(332 KB, 900x600, ITS ME HAT!.png)

Rolled 25

>>21078019
Its me Hat Boss, cause dat shiny fingy in da sky waz really hot boss!

>>21078019

The ogres are pretty well-fed now- at least, they have protein in their diet, and in portions larger than their fingernails. It's a definite start- they'll be wanting (and probably needing) variety later, but this is just enough to fill their stomachs for the time being.

... and sure, no one knows where the hell the fish are coming from, but the ogres certainly aren't going to complain.

On another note, a hat craze has swept through the ogre community! They're doing a decent job of keeping the ogres feeling just a little bit less sunburned. Yes, even for those ogres whose hats range from rocks to dead snakes to tiny scorpions to other objects that don't actually cover more than an inch of their foreheads.

... don't ask. It's ogres.

But hey, they're pumped as hell all over again, lending them greater endurance. Two actions this turn, once more!

On a more sobering note, the remaining missing ogre still hasn't turned up yet. And the five ogres working for the Scaratones will probably be a while longer in returning...

-----------------------------------------------
**Oasis Springs Ogres (temp name)**
- Population: 16/22? (-5 lent) (-1 missing)
- Landmarks: Oasis (+Fish)!

- Food: Mutant blind fish! (Sustain!)
- ????: Huh?
- Settlement: Rock Shanties!

- Tech: Fishing! Hats!
- ?????: Nuh?
- ????: I don' get it.
--------------------------------------

>***CHOOSE TWO ACTIONS!!***
[A] Food: We got fish, now let's get... somethin' other than fish?
[B] Settlement: Hang on a tic, let's look at the big picture...
[C] Tech: Keep going!?
[D] Examine Landmark: More than meets the eye, huh?
[E] Unlock Category: Discovery!
[F] Write-in: Wot do?

>>21078046
[B] Settlement: I want better houses
[D] Examine Landmark: I feel like OP really wants to expand on this.

>>21078046
Half our ogres should be devoted to improving our settlement. The remaining half should upgrade our ogre 'tech'.

>>21078046
[B] Oi boss, me gibblets are hangin' out in the cold!
[D] Dis rock feels funny in me gizzard, boss

>>21078046
[D] I feel like we should examine what brought us together
[E] who knows what we'll find out

>>21078046
[B] This place is nice, but it needs to be more COSY.

[D] Free food AND free water!? There's no way we're not finding what this's all about.

B: My rock fell on me. We need something to stop that from happening!

D: Magic water, magic fish, what next, magic hats?! We must explore!

File: 1349936912698.jpg-(35 KB, 600x600, Look Boss, Fishies!.jpg)

Rolled 20

>>21078046

>[C] Tech

Hey boss, I was finkin.

Why don we get losta rocks or sumfing an' build a dingy dat goes out inta da bigga watta dingy so we can get da fishys in da middle of da watta!
Den we can use da fishy sticks ta get moar fishes wif snakes!

(Lets build a wharf/bridge out into the oasis so we can get fish at the deeper depths using our fishing rods)

>Settlement
>Landmark

Right lads, first two results, you know what time it is:

>***STUPID LUCKY TIME?***
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)

[C] Dis tech, whats dis, we need mor.
[E] Unlock dis? Wit wat? Snake?

(A)&(B), Dese hur huts ain't sturdy nuff, and dem scimitars dem bugsies was using looked like dey was sharp. Maybe if we could crush em from afar dey wouldn't be a problum!

Rolled 57

>>21078095
Yeah!

Rolled 71

>>21078095
lucky star rollan

Rolled 66

>>21078095
Oi lads, I fink dis is da stuff!

Rolled 7

Come on no more falling rocks!

>>21078109

Noice

Rolled 20

>>21078095

WAAAA

WAAAA

Boss *sniffle* Boss
I 'urt me toes on sumfing.
Can I hav a hug?

Rolled 90

>>21078121
tanks i dun happy bout dis.

>Settlement: 57 - Okay!

... a few days later, the ogres reconvene, all sporting gigantic lumps or bruises on their heads. While ogre skulls ARE thick enough to weather such things as a hundred pounds of rock falling onto their heads...

"OKAY, DIS IS HORSESHIT."

... it's markedly not fun for the ogres unlucky enough to have their rock shanties collapse on them while asleep. The larger ogre winces, nursing a cold, wet, and dead fish to his bruised head.

"Look, I 'eard ya the first time, dummy, don't shout so loud," he mutters. "Dis is serious biz- bizni- stuff, you think I don't know dat? Grogguts is still walkin' crooked, I had to hug another ogre 'cuz he was cryin', and- and- NO ONE wants to sleep on da sand again, an' no one wants to get hit onna head with rocks! What am I supposed to do!?"

"Yeah, well, uh..." The angry ogre falters, but then proceeds to rally magnificently. "YOUR FACE is serious bizniss!!"

"Oi! Oi! Guys, guys-"

(Cont.)

>>21078233
Both ogres turn to face the newcomer, who has armfuls full of snake guts. Literally, armfulS- it's tough to estimate exactly how many dead snakes that pile of offal represents, but the larger ogre can't help but feel that they're not going to be eating much snake for the foreseeable future.

In any case, he squints at the snake-carrying ogre. "... oi, ain't you the same guy who found the fish an' made dat fishin' stick out of snakes?"

"Yeah, boss."

The larger ogre stares for another moment or so. "... what IS it with you an' snakes, anyhow?"

The snake-carrying ogre shrugs. "It's a hobby." He brightens up again, positively beaming. "So I was thinkin'- what if we used these things-" he hefts the snake entrails "- on THOSE things-" he nods towards the rock shanties "- to make 'em more stable?"

The larger ogre looks over to the rock shanties, which represent hundreds of pounds of heavy, solid stone held up only by the good grace of upward pressure, balance, and no inclement weather.

Then he looks over to the snake entrails, which, when dried, has the tactile strength and consistency of dried, flaky rope, and probably couldn't hold up one rock, let alone support and strengthen the foundations of the rock shanties.

"... I don't see anyfin' wrong with dat solution and I bet it'll solve everythin' wrong with our houses," the larger ogre says brightly. "OI! Boys! Let's get to work!"

(Cont. ...)

File: 1349938816619.jpg-(17 KB, 512x512, end.jpg)

>>21078235
ALRIGHT, I'm sorry, guys, but I'm going to have to cut it short here, mostly because it's about 3 am and I can't really summon up the brainpower to keep trucking.

Next time, we'll pick up from-

>Explore Landmark: 71 - GOOD!

- which should be tomorrow at 7 or 8 pm EST. Thanks for playing, and I hope you guys enjoyed it- I'm getting the hang of this style, so I'll definitely mix things up more next time. Let me know what you guys think!

>>21078277
Seeya boss, go sleep unda dose rocky fings

File: 1349938961199.jpg-(149 KB, 887x900, HI BOSS!.jpg)

Rolled 35

>>21078277
BYE-BYE BOSS
DAT WUZ FUN
LESS DO AGAIN LATTER

(I enjoyed it, especially the part about hats, come back soon)

I'm new here boss, but diss had been fun, Tanks! ;)

File: 1349939352917.jpg-(56 KB, 640x480, IMG_1081.jpg)

Also! Archived at http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Ogre%20Civilization%20Quest with tags for future reference.

... where do you guys get all of these Ogre Magi pics from, anyhow?

File: 1349939971615.jpg-(173 KB, 512x512, Hey boss, whats dat fingy?.jpg)

Rolled 11

>>21078320
Google mainly, along with /vg/ DotA2 generals, Deviantart and the steam workshop for DotA2.

I can dump a few if you want. Also, jesus fuck the time difference between EST and where I am is amazing. By 7- 8pm there, its 1 am here.

Also, Jesus christ, EST convert to local time over here is 1 A.M.

File: 1349940096088.jpg-(145 KB, 512x512, HURR DURR HURR.jpg)

>>21078364
Derp
But yeah, just look for some around the steam workshop, especially with the Polycount contest starting, although I'm not sure thats a good thing.

File: 1349940159866.jpg-(1011 KB, 1600x1200, ooooooohhhh Pretty.jpg)

>>21078320

File: 1349940286309.jpg-(170 KB, 1680x1050, Ogre Oasis.jpg)

>>21078320
Couldn't find one with any huts around it

File: 1349940354996.jpg-(70 KB, 550x432, MY HATS WEARING A HAT.jpg)

>>21078320
Also, fuck trying to find any descent Alchemist pictures. There's none that I could find.

File: 1349940404955.jpg-(105 KB, 1031x1031, hahahaha Ogre.jpg)

>>21078320
and done. I'll try and find some more for you later.

>>21078401
Thanks a lot, man! That'll give me some more accompaniment for my posts next time. Those ogres (and the WCIII ogres) are basically what I had in mind when making this quest, so yeah.

I'll admit, I was hoping this was going to be a Warhammer Fantasy Ogre Kingdoms quest, but this was pretty cool too,

Bu-bump