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/tg/ - Traditional Games

File: 1349905826163.jpg-(103 KB, 600x600, GrotQuestStart.jpg)
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>Oh god there are like five quests going on right now. Quest clusterfuck goooo

GrotQuest: The Scraplootas Quest
Who are the Scraplootas?: http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Scraplootas
Previously: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=GrotQuest

>Decisions are decided by majority vote. When rolling luck or a skill (d20), the best result of the first three rolls of the majority vote will be considered.

You are a grot.
A grot on the edge.
Your name is Big Bozz Squigslap Stabgrattle Grotstompa, or Squigbozz to grots that don't have the time or effort to take you seriously. That'll change though, eventually, you hope, because you're going to be the next 'Ead Kouncillor of the Grotocracy of Titanopolis. A goal that seems increasingly treacherous. You thought you had an in to the Grotocracy a few hours ago, and now you're not sure. In fact, you're not sure this alternative in that you've been so freely offered should be taken as just that, luck of the grot (you are very lucky, or so you tell yourself), or something more... suspicious. It's so suspicious that you're putting away your delusional and wildly misguided optimism for some critical thinking paranoia and jumping to conclusions. The interest meeting that Snaggleteef had told you about was just condemned as a sinister plot to take advantage of new up and coming grots like you, by Sneakyguts, who runs at least the squig races in Toofz's Casino and seems to be about as trustworthy as a painboy with a bonesaw and a bunch of spare parts. Of course, you could have avoided all of this paranoia had you'd been more careful. Of course, fortune favors the bold, and you are a favored bold grot and you have a fortune. A sack of a hundred teef plus one. Won by betting on the 100-1 odds squig, which you replaced with your own entrant, Squigsby Watson Wall Smasha, your trust giant squig with a giant appetite that doesn't seem too interested in eating you for some reason. You don't know whether to be relieved or offended.
Anyway, you were supposed to head to the Smasha Condominiums after messing around in the casino for that interest meeting. Now, you're just cooling your heels, watched over carefully by an escort grot with a pink wig and a yellow dress and neon green heels. You rest on your small fortune, and it's fairly comfortable, if you pretend your butt isn't being stabbed into by countless teef. Sneakyguts just left with a bunch of his escort grots to go plan something probably. You can't help but shake your head. Those poor gits at the interest meeting. They won't know what hit them. Never mind that you'd be one of them otherwise.
...Though, you're not quite sure. What do grots in the Grotocracy do to each other? They aren't allowed to kill one another, you've summarized that much. What do they do then to chastise each other? Was there about to be a good non-lethal krumpin'? For some reason, you don't think so. For some reason, you just have a really bad feeling about all of this. If only you could book it. Heck, you could make your way back to the 60-Second Market. You have a job there now. At Zizz-n-Bitz, Grotface will be waiting for you in the morning. It's proper work and everything. Heck, with your small fortune you could probably start your own shop. Live out your life comfortably in the market place. You could sell squigpies. That's actually one of your dreams, selling squigpies from out of a little cart when you retire.
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No, no. None of this kind of talk. How can you be thinking about retiring if you haven't even started yet? You sure as heck aren't 'Ead Kouncillor yet. And even then, when you reach that point, you've only just begun! Right now, you are only beginning to start. No heading back. At least, not for now. Grotface does deserve an explanation, and he probably can't run the shop himself. You should also warn him about the Shootists that are trying to move in on his turf. But not right now. Right now, you need to go forwards. You need to secure this position in the Grotocracy. This is what you've always wanted. Since this morning. It's just you and your giant squig against all of Titanopolis as far as you're concerned.
Well, you suppose you also have your personal savior, Blue. He's on your side. You're sure of it.

You are in Toofz's Casino, right outside the squig racetrack, currently devoid of squigs thanks to Watson Smasha's eating disorder. There is a gathered crowd from the racetrack that was set to riot, but with the mobilization of the grots in killer suits, they seem unsure what to do. If you had to describe their mood, it would be like that of a barrel of very confused gunpowder. It just needs a light. And you can't get away from your escort, who is doing his best to actually escort you.
He'll probably answer any questions you throw at his way, if he doesn't ignore you and continue to inspect his nails.

Smasha Squigsby could be your solution to a quick get-away, but you better have a plan before you try anything. You don't quite know where the exit towards the lower leg (downtown, you suppose) is. Also, your giant squig is currently asleep.

Actually, a plan is exactly what you need. Beyond anything else right now. So no more fretting. No more being a paranoid little git. Time for critical thinking.

What do you do?
Rolled 14

Tell the escort to take a hike before Wallsmasha gets hungry again, and then walk to the 60 second market for some dakka with our newly earned teef.

just stepping in to tell ya that I'm beat for today and won't be in here this time. I'll read up tomorrow.

Also, a question. Did you through that we would end up with a mount and 101 teeth in such a short time?
I rolled a 19 on this last time right before you called #3 to an end.

>ask the escort to get some food so you can get Smasha away from anything else he might wreck.

>also, just think for a minute, we're in no danger yet, yeah, we're suspicious of all this (we'll need to be to get far), but no one is suspicious of us having anything to do with anything of consequence.

>We're actually in a good position and we should at least get some information on the going rates for a condo in the Smasha Condominiums since we'll probably never be able to do anything in the left leg again... until of course we rise to power.
Hooray, I'd been waiting for this!
Woops, accidental reply. Meant to be a general comment
Rolled 9

Get to somewhere that you can splash the cash ASAP. And make sure people see it. The fastest way to power is by being rich, after all.
lets buy a blue suit, red shoes, a choppy and a dakka. also a saddle for wallsmasha
>Honestly? I was hoping you'd guys would bite at the crazy things that threw at you. You guys have bitten at about half. I was hoping you would find a way to get Wall Smasha into the race, or that you'd go running in the race yourself, possibly as a squig.

The escort rolls his eyes at you, but whistles for another escort (mossy-green hair, violet tanktop, orange mini skirt, blue heels) to bring as many grilled squigs over as possible. The ones that have been sitting on the grill the longest.

You don't think this grot is going to let you out of his sight. Not without a fight or a large distraction.

And yes. You are safe now. there really isn't any reason to panic. You just have to think this out.

What's the going rate on a condo down in the right leg?
"Depends. You settlin' fer somefin cheap, or are ya lookin' fer an actual condo? You can find places ta kip in da grottown around da Condo-mi-ni-ums." You notice he does his best to pronounce it correctly.
"A proppa condo wid all da bitz iz 5 teef a night, or 50 fer a fortnight."

Blue suit? Lucky. Red shoes? Fast. Oh are you feeling this. The choppa and shoota and saddle would just be icing on the cake at this point. Your best bet is to go find a tailor in the 60-Second Market, but you don't think your escort is about to allow you to take a field trip.

You try asking anyway.
He ignores you and goes back to inspecting his nails. (They are clean and shiny and not at all grubby, you don't know what's so interesting about them.
Rolled 14

might as well toss this out there again

we've got 101 teef and we're in a casino.
how many of these teef can we realistically be able to spend before they rot away?

Let's tuck a few teef away someplace else that's not in the big bag of winnings since it's a prime target for thieves.
Are we wearing socks? Socks without holes so we can hide some teef in them?

Let's go buy some decent footwear if we don't.
Rolled 13

Get the condo for a night. Anyone who tells us to leave can deal with Squigsby.
Rolled 7

Ignore the escort as he ignores you, mount Wallsmasha and begin riding towards The 60 Second Market.
We'z gon' get orky..
Rolled 12

let's make sure all those fried squigs don't bankrupt us before we get to spend teef on ourself.

We could also disperse the mob to be by offering them some fried squigs (only if we're feeling generous and if they feel like getting close to Wall Smasha).
If we want to get into government, a good first step is to win over the people you'll be governing.
we're you expecting us to hijack a giant monster squig in the first place?

And I rolled low when I cast my crazy and stupid idea for running in the race. You can blame that one on the dice gods.

And are we seriously not going to ask these escort grots why they do what they're doing? They must be in debt, or at least weird. They're probably reading our thoughts or something, that's why they're seemingly ignoring us. They know what we're gonna say before we even say it and they just don't want to let on that they know.
You finally open up the bag of teef.
It's... beautiful. You've really never seen so many teef in one place before. They're dried out too. Looks like the casino's been holding on to some of these. Looks like they were doing their best to make their teeth last.

That said, there are fragments and bits here and there and the inside of the bag smells like squig piss.

You are not wearing socks. You're still in the clothes you entered Titanopolis with. Just slightly more singed and burnt. You try tucking a few teef in your shoes, but you don't have any. Any shoes that you'd buy would be from the 60-Second Market. They jingle very nicely in your pockets though.

Your pockets now contain 20 teef. You have a bag of 80 teef and one bloody teef on hand.

You try pushing your way through the crowd (which is starting to get rowdy again) but they don't seem too thrilled to allow you through. Squigsha Smasby is on the other side of this crowd.
The escort puts a hand calmly on your shoulder, and... you're stuck. You can't move. Might as well have encased your shoulder in cement. Just how strong is this escort?

You're really going to need to think of a distraction if you want to disperse the crowd and lose the escort. Or maybe you should try talking more to the escort grot.
"Just sit still until Sneakyguts gets back, okay ya git?"

Moss-colored hair escort comes back, arms loaded with grilled squigs. They're dropped in front of you.
"On da 'ouse." He says. You notice some of these squigs are little more than charcoal briquettes at this point.

Any bright ideas?
Rolled 6

Wall Smasha, smell food, go to food.

Or we could ask these escorts if they are what they iz due to chaos taint and if there's any other interesting things like them we can expect to see.
>Just as a note, you are right now certain that Wall Smasha is asleep. Big meal, food coma, sort of sleep.
Rolled 12

oh, and while we're able to ask these grots questions, ask about Zizz-n-Bitz being blown up earlier today and if anyone had it out for the grots that worked there.

We did think we were being followed earlier.
Your escort does a little hair flip as you try to hold all of these grilled squigs. How did that mossy wigged git do it before?

You ask about Zizz-n-Bitz, any rumors or anything.

"Some grots say dat da Shootists 'ave it out fer dat store. But da owner, Bitzmuncha ain't no stupid git. He hired a choppist to help him out. But dat's normal grot infightin'.

What ain't normal is dat they found da body of some poor git last week in the 60-Second Market missin' a face. Cut clean off, not gnawed off by a squig or nuffin."
Rolled 19

I hope the crowd doesn't try to kill him while he's sleeping.
I'm hoping he'll get even bigger now that so many grots have witnessed his power.

Now, what kind of crazy thing is there here to bite at?
Learn how to do a cement grip yourself? Doubt they'd teach you something like that.
Offer the crowd some squigs to try and pacify them a little (or throw them into the crowed just to see what happens)? Crowed might turn on you enough to make the escorts focus on them instead.
Play more games? We probably have time to learn the rules of that wheel game now.

but for something to actually roll for...
Ask what kind of choppas the choppist usually use, the spin-y kind, the swing-y kind, or stab-y kind.
Rolled 7

eh, I'll roll for trying to get the crowed to not go nuts by offering up some squigs.
guess this means the crowed is gonna turn on us, and by proxy the escorts.

we need more people.
"What choppas? Dey use all choppas equally, but I hear dey like the swing an' chop kind best."

You turn to see a grot picking up one of your grilled squigs. He's a tiny git, even compared to you.
"'Ey, sir, can I 'ave dis squig?"
You look at the squig and shrug. Sure, he can have it. It's little more than a fire primer now.

The runt grot breathes deep and yells "OI, YA GITS. FREE GRILLED SQUIG FER E'ERYUN."

...Powerful lungs on that tiny git.
The crowd explodes. Thinking quickly, you toss the squigs you're holding in the air, and one at your escort, and dive out of the way.

It's a full blown riot. Might as well have thrown a folding chair. Grots are punching each other, Boyz are krumping everything they can reach, those grilled squigs of yours are being shoved into mouths, the grill is being raided of more grilled squig.

But most importantly, you have no idea where your escort is right now!

You're now holding your sack of teef on the sidelines of the krumping. All of the gits are so focused on the free grilled squig that no one has tried to mug you yet! Well, not yet. Probably should get a move on.

You see Sneakyguts heading back with his escorts. He doesn't seem to have seen you. Getting into the racetrack and waking Squig Watsonsby is obvious, but then what?
Rolled 5

Dash past Sneakyguts while riding Wall Smasha saying you'll see him in the morning or in the 60 second market tomorrow when things are less noisy/riot-y as you head down to the condominiums.

Let's see what that git did down there.
Rolled 17

wait, grots have folding chairs?
We should get one just so we can say we own a weapon of mass destruction.

If we do manage to wake up Wall Smasha, let's grab Sneakyguts and have him take a ride with us down to the Condos, away from the riot, the escorts, and anyone else watching.
this is a slow night.

I wonder if there's a newspaper that reports on all this stuff inside Boris?
You've never really thought yourself much of an adventure grot, but this is a brilliant idea. You're sure of it. This will work.

Sneakyguts wants to go check out the Condominiums? Then surely, we should go check it out!

Skipping over to the squig racetrack and over to the squig pit, you gently wake Wall Smasha up. A few good kicks in the rear does it, and he gets up and starts sniffing around for more food. Sighing, you praise him in the direction of Sneakyguts, who is trying to contain the riot with his escorts.

Wall Smasha acquiesces. Licking his lips.

He breaks into a run, giant squiggy feet waddling as fast as he can. Sneakyguts doesn't even see what hits him. He's scooped up into Wall Squigsby's mouth without a word, and now, squig mount bouncing, pockets jingling, stupid grin widening, you continue to the far end of the casino.

Next stop, Smasha Condominiums.
The downtown entrance to the casino is just large enough for a one-giant-squig stampede to squeeze under without taking off your head, and you soon find yourself on the outskirts of a shantytown. In the distance, there seems to be rows and rows of condominiums built on massive hydraulics and pistons, with a positively stately U-shaped main building in a clearing, surrounded by more makeshift shelters, like a queen amidst peasants.
You come to a stop. You've arrived. Now what? You have a feeling the interest meeting may start any moment now.
A few grots crawl out of their huts and shelters to stare at your commotion.
Rolled 20

Now we look for the meeting.

We can ask around for Snaggleteef, ask our new tag-a-long where the meeting might be at, or we can just look around for a gathering of grots. It shouldn't be too hard to spot.
The meeting place will probably be on fire or in the process of exploding with how easy it is to find.

How's the git in the maw fairing?
Rolled 19

check to see if any of those escort grots are following you.

or at least send the lift the opposite way you came from so it'll take them longer to catch up.
Pulling Sneakyguts out of your giant squig's mouth, (his suit is ruined, you realize almost happily) you dust him off and help him wring out his suit.

He's furious. Well, you expected as much. Maybe his anger could help dry off his suit.
"What da zog wuz dat fer you daft git? Now we is in da middle of what could be enemy territory widout an army!"
He points threateningly at you. You notice is squigar is missing. He possibly swallowed it. Something else that makes you strangely happy.
"I'm in da Grotocracy, so dey wudn't krump me. But I can't say you'd get da same sort of protecshun."

Nevertheless, you are here, no matter how much Sneakyguts fumes. You tell him he can go back himself. And he almost does. But the hungry look in the eyes of some of the grots makes him think twice. He'll follow along, but he's liable to leave you high and dry if he gets the chance. (At least you'll be dry, you think)

Rounding the corner of the U-shaped main condominium, you see that a great big bonfire was made in the middle of it. Well, how could you miss that? Oh right, it's smoky. Looks like Titanopolis doesn't have adequate ventilation.

There's a grot standing on a stage with one of those speakyboxes. It looks like some resourceful git spliced it into the PA of Titanopolis. The grot's voice booms from overhead.
There are sure a lot of grots here. You estimate more than you've ever seen in one place. Are they all trying to join the Grotocracy?

What do you do?
Rolled 1

Time to here what the rallier has to say, and don't dismount Smasha.
You might need to make a quick escape if things turn sour, and they might very well turn sour faster than you expect if they notice the killer suit with you.

also >>21074549 though I think the other grots would notice some weird grots running around in wigs and dresses before you do.
things have automatically turned sour.

and my natural 1 broke 4chan while it was at it.
Rolled 18

rolling for things to become not so sour.

As in, the crowd speaker does not instantly single us out and set the wrath of an uncountable number of grots on us.

Maybe also tell Sneakyguts to not look so noticeable with his killer suit.
glad I refresh again before posting. I was about to reply to the part that just got scrapped it seems.

assuming that bit still stands, yell back at him that you're tying to get someone's attention.

Nope. No escort grots you can see. Though you do have Sneakyguts hostage. You'll threaten to throw him into Wallson Smasquig if they try anything funny.

Now to just pay attention to the speaker. That's what you're here for, after all.

"-shun. Is a grot not entitled to da sweat of-"
Wait, is that Snaggleteef?
"'-o' sayz da Nob in da tower, 'It belongs to da-"
Yes that's definitely Snaggleteef! He's sitting by the stage!
"-sayz da Buk of da Grotherder, 'It belongs ta Gork-"
Ohboyohboy you decide to get on Wall Squigsby and wave at Snaggleteef
"-ayz da 'Ead Kouncillor, 'It belongs ta alla da Ork-'"
He doesn't see you. You wave harder and shout.

"-ject dose answers. Instead, I choose sumfin different. I choose... Oi, wut's dat git doin'. Yes, you on da 'uge squig."

You? Er. It seems Sneakyguts is doing his best to hid behind Wallsby Smashton. So yes, you.

"You look like a self made grot to me. What's yer name, kid?"
The speaker grot is flummoxed by your incoherent squeak.
"Wut da zog? Speak proppa like, kid!"
Squigbozz Slapgrot Grattlestompa Bigstab
"...Right. Er. Squigbozz. Tell me, wut brought you 'ere today?"
You begin to tell your entire life story. From your humble beginnings in the tunnels of Krumpus Bay, to the way you spontaneously chose to join the Scraplootas through pressgang... All the way to the part to where you bumped into Snaggleteef--
The grot finally interrupts you, clearly relieved. Wow, your story was so moving he looks like he was going to die! He probably already likes you! Things are looking up!
"Roight. Snaggleteef brought you here. Well, den from wut you've told me, you're a proppa grot's grot. A grot lookin' out fer udda grots."
But mostly yourself! You add. The crowd laughs.

"Of course, of course. Wut kind of grot wud you be if yer not lookin' out fer yerself. But you know, most of wut you do 'ere, in Titanopolis, it don't benefit grots. It goes elsewhere. To da boyz and da nobz. Grots work long an' 'ard and den get even da sweat of their brows taken by bigger boyz fer dis or dat. An' dat won't change. Unless you choose fer it ta change! I choose dat way. I choose da impossible! I choose


A gasp goes out through the crowd.

"Imagine a Titanopolis
Where a grot would not fear krumpin' by boyz
Where grots work for da sake of udda grots,
Where the grot wud not be stepped on by da nob.

An' wid da sweat of ya brow, dis Titanopolis can become yer city, as well."

Silence in the crowd. No one seems to want to be the first to react.

How do you react?
Rolled 8

oh boy, these grots are crazy.

it's pretty much like that already, ya git!

Grots haggling with one another, boyz not kumping em fer mucking about, hell, some boyz even work FOR grotz here in Titanopolis!
The way things are now is probably the best any grot has ever had it based on how like is like outside of Titanopolis.

Better to have the boyz outside krumpin zog knows what then boyz having to keep an eye on the grots running things from behind the scenes.

Make that git on stage realize that grots already run the show and that it's best not to let the boyz know that.
Rolled 18

We're a smart, cunning git. Let's turn the crowd on him and take control of this ourself. This "revolution" can be turned into a revolution to get us moving on our way up the corporate ladder.

adding onto this

we've been in Titanopolis for less than a day, but have we seen a single grot herder? No. Just a bunch of other grots.

Ask him what his real motive is as he's clearly not looking out for himself, and the only time a grot isn't looking out for himself is because he wants something, and as soon as he gets it he'll cut his losses, in this case all these grots listening.

...And strike three. The grot on stage is tripped up by your actions a third time.
"Wut? But I--" the speakybox cuts out. Several grots in suits get on the stage.
"We interrupt dis revolushun fer a brief meetin'." Says one of them. They crowd around the speaking grot, who pulls on his collar.

Sneakyguts pulls on your pants to get your attention.
"I know dese gits. Dey're a buncha low rankin' nobodies in the Grotocracy. Dey don't wanna play Balderdash an' Backstabbin' so dey's plannin' a coup, their 'revolushun.' Dis be da fourth time dey's tryin' dis sort of fin, takin' Titanopolis back from da boyz an' whatnot, like dey's oppressed."
He seems to have regurgitated his squigar. Or maybe it's just a new one.
"Anyway, we is in da bug's mouth wid out a shoota now ya git. Why did ya 'aveta pull me away when we were gonna 'ave a proppa army fer krumpin' dese gits?"
But... You seem to have the attention of the grots around you. At least in your immediate vincinity. Who is this git who would out speak that speaker?

Big Bozz Squigslap Stabgrattle Grotstompa, that's who.

You will only have one shot at this, what will you tell your crowd?
Rolled 7

Listen up ya gits!
This here is the 4th time this sortta talk has happened! And has anything changed each time they try it?
Dun look like it.
All that happens is a lot of us normal grots get krumped just so they can try this again!

They obviously don't know wot da zog they're doin', trying to make normal working grots like us fight battles for 'em cause they're too stupid to work their way up da grotocracy on their own like any other grot!

Down right unorky, the lot of 'em! Why follow any of them if they can't even be sneaky enough to make it not obvious that they just want us to get krumped so they can keep getting us to get krumped again?

Let's revolt against dis here revolution!
Or at least not let them tell us what to do.
Rolled 2

well that could've gone better.


if that fails, time to exit.
Rolled 3

someone else... just someone else roll.
We'd have to sing and dance to please this crowed.
Rolled 10

Rolled 12

don't pray for the dice gods' hammer you daft fool!
Rolled 12

we can never roll high when really need it, only when it's for petty things or when it's time for Wall Smasha to do something.

Charge the stage Wall Smasha! The suits on stage look like slabs of meat!

You tried.

"What's da difference between yer revolushun and their revolushun?"
"Why you tellin' us wut ta do den?"
They're less than impressed, but they're not about to turn on you. Instead:
"Oi! Riot?"

There's a thousand grot riot now. It makes that thing at the squig racetrack look like a tea party.
Sneakyguts is doing his best to climb back into Wall Smasha's mouth. "GET US OUTTA 'ERE YA STUPID GIT."

What do you do?
Rolled 17

ugh... Our talents are wasted on these ingrates. Let's just head down to Krunchas Salvage Furniture and look at stuff we can buy.

The riot will still be here when we get back.
Rolled 11

Wade through and save the grotocrats first. Never hurts to have someone owe you a debt.
Rolled 17

Saving the one honest dishonest grot in Smasha's mouth is enough. The rest are gits that'll get use krumped or worse.

Let's go buy a folding chair, no wait! Two folding chairs! That way if the riot has stopped by the time we get back we can throw a chair into the crowd and start it up again!
And we'll still have a chair to sit on for later.
Screw this. You're going to go buy things.

Leaving the grots in suits to their fates amidst the riot, you shuffle your way out of the brawl. It's amazing how fast you can part a crowd on a giant ball of teeth and hungry.
Sure, this didn't work out, but those gits on the stage weren't even as high ranking as your guest and certainly not hostage is! Also the popular vote isn't going to get you invited to the Grotocracy.

Kruncha's Salvage Furniture is the largest store down here, but there seems to be a lot of salvage themed shops. Kruncha's Salvage Partz, Kruncha's Salvage clothing... Hm. You might want to meet this Kruncha if you can.

Entering Kruncha's Salvage Furniture, you see that there is a lot of stuff torn out of enemy gear that was overlooked by the Boyz. A few cushioned seats (no legs), a table that is four blocks supporting what looks like a piece of humie tank armor. It's even got that two headed bird thing that they use. A bed that is another piece of armor but with seat padding.

And there it is.
In the middle of all of these pieces of scrap, is a perfectly operational folding chair. It seems rather utilitarian in design. Tau?

You excitedly ask the grot on duty how much that is. "Dat rare an' exclusive fing? Five teef."

Buy it?
Rolled 13

Hell yeah we're buying it!

Try and haggle with him if you can, and also make sure Sneakyguts hasn't wondered off. Maybe clue him in on your plans and see if he's impressed, or even better, not impressed so he'll be double impressed when it all works out according to plan.

oh, and ask about meeting with the owner of the establishment I guess.
Rolled 18

rolling for haggle? Maybe show off the special grot you have shopping with you today?
I think I've figured it out!

We're good at speaking to grots individually, but we're bad at speaking to them as a group!
That's why we couldn't get the crowd on our side. We need to talk to a ton of grots one-on-one until we have a lot backing us.
You pull Sneakyguts out of Wall Squigsby's mouth where he was hiding from the rioters. His killer suit is looking much worse for wear.
His squigar is still clinging on to his lip, doggedly. He seems to be in a daze and mutters something about crazy gits under his breath.
The grot on duty understands and drops his price down to three teef. You pat Sneakyguts on the head and hand over three teef from your pocket.

Your pockets have 17 teef, one bloody. Your sack contains 80 teef.

Oh, and can you please meet with this Kruncha fellow? He seems so lovely.

The grot on duty shakes his head, Kruncha's away on Grotocracy business. All of the way up there, where the inner council meets. With the 'Ead Kouncillor and everything. He's a busy grot, Kruncha is. Barely has time to run his own businesses with all of this governing he does.

Folding chair acquired, you have the grot help you tie it onto Watson Smasha in an open position. This way Sneakyguts has a place to sit that isn't in your mount's mouth.
He mumbles something about everyfin's gone to zog as you place him on the chair.

Success! Now what?
Rolled 17

>loving these turns of events to no end.
let's look around at some other things. Maybe get this traumatize Grotacrat a new smokey thing, get him back to his senses a little before you have to dismount him and start another riot.

Let's ask the grot on duty if there's anyplace around here to get some squig cigars or whatever they were.
Rolled 8

you know, we might want to ask about a way back up to the 60 second market that bypasses the condos and the casino, just in case time gets away from us and we end up needing to get to work in a hurry.

Also might want to look for a mad dok so Sneakyguts can testify to how awesome you are and still get you that spot in the Grotocracy (or have him declared unfit to hold his position and take his place). It'd be terrible if he decided to pretend to not remember you later.
What with all the trouble you saved him of needing to mobilize an army to deal with the rebellion.
"If ya want dat sort of fing, yer best bet is da 60-Second Market. Da best way back is da express elevator. It's two teef a passenger though." He looks at Wall Watson, "Probably more fer yer squig."

He points to the far wall of the leg. Indeed, there seems to be a tube that goes directly up.

Speaking of which.

You're pretty certain that you've been going down a nice and steady slope towards the bottom of Boris's foot.

But now that you're looking at the wall...

Anyway, there's still Kruncha's two other stores to investigate, but you could also head towards the elevator.
Rolled 19

let's shop some more, wait and see if anything will knock this git out of his stupor. And if that doesn't work we should just slap him a little.
Seriously, we should have to pay for everything for him.

I'm more of the opinion that when it's time to head back up, we take the normal elevator to see what's become of the riots that just seem to spring up all around us.
Rolled 20

check out the salvage clothing, we're kinda not well dressed at this point I'd imagine.

And for the love of zog find a phone or speaky box or something and call the casino. Get some grots to go down into the condos and soften up that riot for you before you throw the chair into the mess.
we just couldn't have rolled this high earlier, hmm?
We could've had a big shoota and and a bunch of grots doing whatever we told them to do.

things are probably going to get wrapped up soon anyway.
You walk into Kruncha's Salvage Clothing. It's mostly armor. Armor and bloody bodysuits. There's a tailorgrot present though.

"Give me da teef, an' I can make whatever ya want. Da more teef you give me, da better it'll be. No quesshuns asked."

You look around the store, most things are priced at most twenty teef. But that's a full and functional suit of tau body armor. No, it won't fit a grot. Quite unfortunate.

You ask the tailorgrot if he has anything that would knock a git out of a funk. He tells you to wait there and goes into the back.

Sneakguts starts shaking. At least his leg is shaking. It's like a very localized seizure. You fish into his pocket and find two teef and a zizzy bit.
FONE it says on it. You still can't read.
You press buttons until it stops buzzing.
"oi sneakyguts" you hear a small tinny grot voice say.

How much will you give the tailorgrot for your suit?
Answer the FONE?
Rolled 20

"You've reached Sneakyguts, da gits in shock right now so if you tell me what's going on I might tell you what you can do about it."

The tailor grot is back already?

Well for a suit, I'd say if the most expensive ones are 20teef, we should pay at most maybe 12teef. We're not boss of the right leg just yet, but we should still at least try to look a little more than half way decent.
>Rolled 7
>Rolled 2
>Rolled 3
>Rolled 20
>Rolled 20

what kind of joke is this? It really does only work for tiny shit.

We'd better be the most commanding grot that ever spoke over a FONE barking orders as if they were from the warboss himself and having everyone do what we want perfectly and in a speedy manner.
Put us over the loudspeaker and tell those rioters to "Cut it out!"
File: 1349930721723.jpg-(169 KB, 635x506, Farewell me boyz.jpg)
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"oi you sound weird sneakyguts. anyway casinos on fire. toofz's gonna want explanin when ya get back. he aint happy an sum gits gonna pay. find dat zoggin idiot dat started da riot so it aint you dat gets krumped. also we just landed on anudda humie world wid emo pointy-headed gitz onnit so we gotta move da gud stuff outta da market an fast"
There a pause and then the grot on the other end says, "oh an we found anudda faceless body. dis time in da dump."

...Interesting information, you suppose.

The tailorgrot comes back with a bottle of some viscous fluid. It's definitely humie in design.
"Found dis on a dead grot. Mighty strong rotgut dis is. Makes yer squigbeer taste like piss an water. He can have a sip on da house if ya order sumfin."
As far as you know, squigbeer is just piss and water. Regardless, you thank him, plop down 12 teef (ten and the two that you fished out of Sneakyguts's pocket) and you ask excitedly for a suit. The tailorgrot tells you he'll see what he can do.

You're about to get a suit made out of body armor.
This is going to be awesome.


Next time, same time Wednesday 5:30-6 EST (GMT-5)
I feel kinda sad/bad that I was the only one rolling for a while...

But there were a lot of memorable moments.
Starting riots, telling gits off in front of a large crowd, buying a folding chair/weapon of mass destruction (I don't know why, but that was somehow the highlight of tonight for me).

Should I submit an archival request, or is someone else already doing that? I know there's going to be at least a few people that want to read this later.
Yeah, oh well. It was quiet today. Whatchagonnado.
I really haven't figured out the formula to a popular quest yet. It might be this slot in the middle of the week, or maybe I'm not running this often enough. But I really don't have the time to run a six hour thing more than once a week.

Maybe it's the lack of waifus.
it's archived now.

I don't think that it's a lack of waifus (I don't join in on any other quests so I wouldn't know)

Once a week is good for a quest I think. Makes it so it's not over saturated.
It could very well be that it's in the middle of the week, but hard to say, there are plenty of other quest threads running right now with plenty of rollers.
Well, some people did say at the beginning that they had to sit this one out (I don't think they would've let me cause two riots with plans for a third if they were here, or maybe they would've, I couldn't say).

I'm still enjoying your quest anyway. Keep up the good work.
Just wanted to say I have been reading it, I just only get a few chances here and there so I didn't get to actually contribute. I'm enjoying this a lot, though, so don't lose hope, op!
I have to wonder if OP was expecting us to end up in the furniture store this time around.

There's probably some big plot with a face stealer we were supposed to uncover that we completely missed.
I bet that second grot with the missing was Bitzmuncha...
If we see him again, we'll have to krump him since it'll be an imposter.

Thanks guys. I'll keep running this quest until it ends in no responses half way through twice, or when it finishes (projected 11-16 more sessions? Very likely to be changed however.) which ever comes first.

This is what I had written for Kruncha's Salvage Furniture:
>Battle salvaged IKEA-esque? More shops attached?

Honestly, I was expecting you guys to still be at the condominiums and nose deep in that conspiracy already, based on the interest in intrigue last quest. But this is fine. It keeps me on my toes, and I rewrite quest notes all the time anyway. You should see how my IRL party derails adventures.

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