Um. Where are we? What's up? You've told us what we've done but I have no idea what we might try to do next.

Also, Sir Daniel sounds like a cool guy and I wish I had a bro like him.

>>21015655
You're on a ship, below deck. Mainly the crew's quarters.

>>21015670
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/20990495/

Last thread for those who missed it.

Are we perchance sir Daniel Fortesque the great warrior?

>>21015756
Yes.

>>21015642
Find a nice sunny spot on the deck and take a nap. Or see if the crew needs our help with anything during the voyage.

>>21015809
You ask the crew if they need help with anything, each just kind of mumbles that they've got something to do.

A 6 and a half foot tall skeleton that summons Krackens through dance is an intimidating thing, and no one really wants to boss you about.

Only Erik doesn't care, and he doesn't care to give you jobs.

You decide to go above deck for a nap.

You lie down at the front bow, so you can feel the wind rattling against your chest plate.

You have no eye lids to close so you just stare up at the cloudy sky.

What do you do now?

>>21015824

Why not imagine random clouds as animals and monsters?

>>21015841
You assign animal shapes to clouds that look like them.

This goes on for a while until the clouds become fewer and fewer.

You miss those clouds, some looked like cats.

What do you do now?

>>21015848
Consider having a bout of existential angst, but think better of it.

Find a nice clear spot and practice our swordsmanship, just because we're dead is no reason to get rusty.

>>21015848

The only thing an immortal has to fear is boredom...

We could play chess with Erik, if he's not too busy.

>>21015871
Just before you become infected with philosophy you remember that it's been a while since you used your sword.

You take it out and practice some standard maneuvers and attacks.

You ask some sailors and travelers to spare with you, but none are willing.

>>21015883
Boredom is indeed the greatest enemy. Back when you were alive you could sleep, drink, or jerk off.

In death you get no such pleasures.

You decide to play some games with Erik to pass the time.

Below deck in your room Erik is sitting near a table covered in books, you can hear him muttering.

>"Oh man, what I wouldn't give for a mermaid concubine..."

"Erik, I'm bored. Can we play chess?"

Erik slams his book closed and stands up in a shot.

>"Oh yes, of course."

Erik sets up a chess board over his books and you play, going first.

What do you do now?

Let's use the highly erudite "zerg rush" manuever and try to force our pawns to the other side of the board to make them queens! More queens is better, right?!

>>21015919
Play chess, take a somewhat aggressive strategy.

Afterwards see if Erik brought any interesting books that aren't smut, we may as well catch up on our reading in our copious spare time.

>>21015946
>"You do know how to play chess? Right, Daniel?"

"Of course, Queen me."

Erik mutters something and takes a pawn.

The game goes on and on as you send piece after piece at a perfectly protected King.

>"I am so glad you're not a military General, you'd just send waves of men at perfectly fortified positions."

You have a flash forward, to your next life after this one. You're in a trench in France, blowing a whistle to send men and boys into machine gun fire. You think you're doing a smashing job of it.

>>21015950
>"Feel free to take one or two."

The only books are;
>A history of Gallowmere and the surrounding lands.
>A brief summary of undeath and the effects of its sufferers.
>A memoir of a man who traveled around the world, dancing

Which do you read, if any?

>>21015998
>A brief summary of undeath and the effects of its sufferers.

Take it, read it. If we finish it before the trip is over we'll read another one.

>>21015998

I'm curious about how the effects of undeath work in this setting in particular. Read the second book.

>>21015998
Read the dancy book. It is our responsibility as lord of the dance

>>21016013
It is a lengthy tome, written by another undead after centuries of research.

Written by Duke Timeth, a raised undead, who regained his consciousness after killing his master with the aid of a God.

According to Timeth, bound undead are powerless through their own channels. Timeth couldn't perform the simplest of spells, stuff that most pub landlords know. Like condense condensation, a water generating spell used to weaken beer.

But after he killed his master, who had set him free after years of service, he regained his power over stone and water.

Timeth goes on to say how undead are bound to the will, subconscious or not, of their master.

They will have to do anything their master tells them, like it or not.

Only freed undead can choose.

Seems that Erik's will is either so pitiful that it has no effect, or so strong you think it's actually not there.

This'll be tricky to figure out.

You close the final page, you can hear docks again.

You gather your belongings and head above deck.

You're at the Port of Good Faith, the journey flew by at the speed of your reading.

You drop anchor and dock.

You have arrived in Port.

What do you do?

>>21015998
Screw reading. Suddenly we realize that Hydra needs a sacrifice. Throw a random sailor into the hungry sea. If we are threatened after this, remind the sailors of who is the man of (a) God around here.

>A memoir of a man who traveled around the world, dancing

Read this.

>>21015998
Ask Eric how he is so good at chess. Comment that with an army of undead he might be pretty good.

>>21016078
Dance that port up. Convert more followers. Greater favor with Hydra.

>>21016078

wander round the port, see whats kraken.

>>21016078
Get into port, look as incognito as possible, gather information on Janus.

>>21016079
Hydra doesn't need sacrifices, only deeds done in his name.

>>21016082
You grab that book, much smaller, for another time and put it in your side bag.

>>21016099
>"Well, anyone would be good with an undead army. Where would you get it?"

>>21016111
Hue.

Not much is going on around the port, just traders and sailors going on and off ships and to and from taverns and inns.

What do you do?

>>21016103
Just in case we need to break away from erik y'know

>>21016131
investigate inns, ask about the state of the town

>>21016131
"I'm sure there are some young upstart necromancers about raising their own petty warbands. Perhaps we could pressgang some in to service?"
Army of darkness anybody?

Could Eric enchant our arrows to be more destructive?

>>21016163
We need to be careful of erik. We must be his moral compass, and power corrupts. Making him top dog this way is best because he doesn't actually increase in power as much as he would if he decided to form a conquering army of undead.

>>21016147
I concur. Go to an inn, get a drink (can skeletons get drunk?) and talk to people

>>21016135
Roll 1d20 for degree of success.

>>21016147
You head into the nearest inn, the Mermaid's tail. You ask the barkeep about the state of the town.

>"Well, there's Kerm north of here, but you probably know about that. Some sailors swear they saw a Leviathan out at sea, others say it was dancing. Strange.

>But right now, I don't know of anything odd going on. It's the quiet time of the year, all the adventurers have come and gone."

>>21016168
Depends on how you want to enchant them.

>>21016163
>"Necromancy is a highly sophisticated art, necromancers don't just go on a warpath. We're not generals, you know. Or scourers, or warlocks."


What do you do now? And roll your dance dice.

Rolled 12

Dance time

Rolled 18

>>21016210

Rolled 14

>>21016210
We must spread the dance of our people to the world, after we stop the Janus.

>>21016210
Well no, but taking down evil would sure be easier with more heroic corpses around.

>>21016227
You dance your dance, out from the bar and into the streets, gathering a crowd of onlookers.

Suddenly music comes from the waves. Hydra answers your prayers (All prayers to Hydra must now be in dance form). He's blaring the sounds of the deeps to your funky moves.

The songs of wales accompany your thrusts and spins.

The sound abruptly stops and you're pointing at some bar wench.

Roll 1d20 for two person tango and success of such a saucy dance.

Rolled 20

>>21016260
dice gods bless this roll

>>21016237
The Corpse Army of Justice eh?

>>21016276
Nice

>>21016276

He is the chosen one!

Rolled 4138

>>21016289
Now if only the dice gods looked favorably on the 1d10000

Rolled 8

>>21016260
Dont be shy bar wench, dance the mysterious hydra dance of passionate dancing

>>21016316
shush, we already got a nat 20

>>21016276
Time seems to slow and the sky darkens. You take the young lady by the hand and out into the natural circle that crowds seem to form.

The wales and dolphins play you the song of their people, as you and the woman dance slowly and calmly in the streets.

Soon others, couples at first, then teens asking for the hand of a girl, join you.

All blood feuds are forgiven in the port as the power of dance heals all wounds and makes friends and lovers both.

EVERYONE is getting some tonight, except you.

Some young lad comes along and asks the girl for this dance.

You oblige, you're one damn good wingman.

The single, mainly the widows or married with spouses at sea, applaud the show.

You're standing outside the circle of onlookers and dancers.

What do you do?

Rickroll and dance for everyone in the middle of this orgy. keep the mood set.

>>21016335
Praise be to the Hydra.

>>21016357
Hydra is praised by the dance and is seriously considering dancing to be his preferred prayer form. It's clearly more powerful than chanting on your knees.

>>21016335
Praise be to hydra, god of the misunderstood. He's pretty hard to get, you wouldn't understand

>>21016371
oh god damnit

>>21016371
Actually, if you could just spare a few minutes to talk about our Lord Hydra, I'm sure you'd understand perfectly.

What do you do?

>>21016371
What have we done?!

Try to convert some of the onlookers to worshipping the hydra.

They've seen the miracle of the dance. I'd be open to worshipping anything that could cause this

>>21016403
Since everyone is in an agreeable mood start gathering information.

>>21016403
Talk to people, ask if they know anything about the guy we came here to "visit".

>>21016422
A skeletal Jehova's Witness. Just what we need

>>21016422
You tell a few of them about the power of your god, they seem rather open minded about it.

Some agree, mainly the out of port men and women, but the residents are all loyal followers of Dagon or Herun.

>>21016425
Information of what nature? These people hear all sorts of news.

>>21016440
They tell you, clicking their fingers as the do so, that Janus came from the horizon, determined to master magical arts. He failed, and made a pact with a demon.

That's all they know, the rest are just stories about how he eats babies and puppies.

What do you do now?

>>21016477
try to discover some paladin powers.

>>21016501
this, hydra's gotta love us by now

>>21016501
Roll 1d6 for power.

Rolled 5

>>21016525

>>21016477
Tell me more about this Leviathan at Kerm.

Rolled 5

>>21016501
i agree, after this show of devotion , some new powers ought to be cropping up

Rolled 4

>>21016525

>>21016538
>>21016532

not too shabby

>>21016532
>>21016538
New power: Join the god below.

Once a day you can inflict this miracle.

Any person, or low ranking other reality being, will be crushed by the pressure Hydra dwells at.

Roughly 40,000 ft.

It's instantaneous, and kills before they can feel it. But the mess it makes is unreal.

>>21016536
The leviathan was actually the Kracken you summoned, or more like Hydra sent.

are there any gyms or sparring areas around the port, where adventurers can test their skill without fear of death(not that that matters to us now)
see how our skill fares against 'equals'

>>21016598
thats pretty damn awesome

>>21016601
It's a port, so naturally there are fighting pits.

There's three, each for different rankings.

The first is man against beast.
The second is man against man.
The thirds is adventurer against adventurer.

Would you like to partake in a bit of blood sport?

>>21016621
Let's test the mettle of the adventurers of this day.

>>21016621
just a little bit
lets see how skillful current adventurers are

>>21016621
lets fight a beast in only our armour, now weapons
see how far our new body can go in direct combat

>>21016633
You decide that fighting animals and regular people is unfair, and sign up for a fight against other adventurers.

At the sign up desk there's a woman looking uninterested.

>"Name and specialty?"

"Daniel and sword."

>"Take a seat, we'll call you up."

You sit down in the waiting room, you can hear the roar of the crowd above.

In the room around you are big men, some bigger than you. Each most likely boasting an interesting back story. But they all look unsocial and wont talk.

After a few minutes you're called up to fight.

>"Daniel, right? You're fighting Oscar, another swordsman. He's killed an ogre in single combat a wizard with just 10 men. Good luck."

You're lead up to a gate, then the door is locked behind you.

In the center of a pit, the ground covered in red sand, is Oscar the Knight of the morning star.

He lets out a warcry and rushes you with his flail.

What do you do?

Rolled 2

>>21016692
Sidestep his attack and stick a leg out to trip him up

>>21016714
You stick out a leg and trip into him.

This sees to have unbalanced the misnamed fighter somewhat, sending you both sprawling to the ground.

What do you do?

Rolled 19

>>21016726
Get up and knock his morning star away

>>21016740
You stand up, towering above the still downed knight and kick the morning star away. It hits a wall and gets firmly embedded into it. Oscar looks up to see his weapon dangling at the other end of the pit.

What do you do?

>>21016751
Offer your hand and then take a boxing stance.

Rolled 7

>>21016751
Help him up, and the knock him out.

File: 1349559624465.jpg-(16 KB, 320x320, original.jpg)

>>21016751
ask him if that is all he has, put on the biggest asshole stance
right, lets see how he is at h2h

>>21016751
Point our sword at his throat and ask if he yeilds.
If not its time to try out our new power

>>21016772
its only once a day, id say leave that til we actually need it, not in front of everyone,
its not fair play

>>21016763
You offer your hand down to Oscar, who takes it.

Then you take a boxing stance across from him.

>>21016766
You take a swing for his jaw but he ducks at the obvious move.

>>21016769
You smile and ask if that's all he has.

>"I haven't even warmed up you."

"Really? You might pull a muscle."

This angers him.

>>21016772
Roll 1d20 to land your hit.

>>21016772
You want to invoke our nefound divine gift to splatter a unarmed man in a non-letthal combat?

>>21016784
Good point, no point in wasting a horrible death on some poor chump who doesn't deserve it

>>21016798
It is lethal combat, you didn't check the box for mercy.

>>21016790

BELAY THAT ACTION

Let's just fight him normally, it would seem like a waste to use such a powerful ability here, even if it is mortal combat.

>>21016809
oh well
seems a bit overkill against this mook
lets knock his block off
straight left, get close
then uppercut with right

Rolled 20

>>21016790
Use our hand like a spear and pierce his chest.

>>21016806
You do not know if he deserves it, you didn't ask him his story, so he could be a genocidal nutjob for all you know.

And for what it is, instant and painless death isn't that bad. It's just the mess that gets people.

>>21016831
>>21016822
You can, if you so choose, to deliver an honour death. Humiliating your opponent so much their honour dies by your hand. For a knight, this is essentially death.

>>21016837
Never mind then.

You raise your arm and punch through his chest. At the moment it's in a non-lethal area, if you want you can remove his heart, or spine, or just knock him down for good and claim victory against him.

What do you do?

>>21016863

Take him out honorably. Let him die with some dignity by just piercing his heart. No need to turn him into a bloodbath.

>>21016863
Pull out his heart mortal kombat style.

>>21016884
You move your hand slightly, with such a simple move you stop his heart.

He dies in seconds, angered by his defeat.

The crowd roars as you remove your arm from his chest.

You can fight another round or claim your prize and leave.

What do you do?

>>21016863
Make a joke out of having his heart in our hand and knock him out.

>>21016916
Damn, too slow.

>>21016914
another round
lets see what other combatants this place has to offer

>>21016914
claim prize and leave. we are a busy man and have shit to do!

>>21016931
You let them carry Oscar away for his honourable funeral. They treat the glorious dead very well here, it would seem.

You tell the ringside announcer (Shouter) that you'll do another round and to bring your opponent out.

The audience cheers as Bjorn Treefeller walks to size you up.

Bjorn is tall, but not as much as you. Heavy plate will prevent you doing what you did to Oscar, and his greataxe will shatter your bones if it makes contact.

What do you do? If it's combat, roll 1d20.

Rolled 1

>>21016971
Break his axe with a drop kick.

>>21016971
is rolling to seduce an option?

Rolled 9

>>21016971
lets do this
drop low, grab his ankle, toss like a hammer on chain

Rolled 2

>>21016995
god damnit, this is why you don't get greedy with the bloodsport

Rolled 2

>>21016971
Swiftly close in to deny him the ability for heavy swings.
Then give him a kick to the groin that'll lift him and his armor.

Rolled 1

>>21016971
charge, stab sword into weak point between the neck and armpit

>>21016995
You go in for a kick, miss, kick his axe out of his hands and land on your back. With Bjorn standing over you.

What do you do?

>>21017010
Too much bloodlust for love.

>>21017014
You grab his ankle, and throw, but forget to let go and you follow him in the air, and eventually rolling on the ground.
Both you and Bjorn are down.

What do you do?

Rolled 17

>>21016971
DANCE CONTEST

>>21017034
PRAISE BE TO HYDRA
THIS HEATHEN SHALL GET SERVED

>>21017034
We rolled low for combat and high for dance. It's pretty clear what we're made for.

Rolled 7

>>21017034
good old fashioned dance fighting
show off our capoeira
use hands as leverage, do a handstand, and drop heal with mighting force onto his helm

Rolled 1

>>21017033
Try to grapple and if possible do a Tombstone Piledriver

Rolled 7

>>21017050
dice gods know whats up

Rolled 16

>>21017055
>>21016995
>>21017019
>>21017027
>>21017031
something is wrong here

Rolled 1

>>21017055
you people just don't understand. The dice gods don't smile on "I do this thing that is totes badass." They smile on what is right. Clearly, our dancing skills are our last, best, hope for victory

>>21017067
In undeath we are the Lord of Dance, not combat.

Rolled 16

>>21017053
reroll this
if we cannot fight him
we will dance fight him

Rolled 18

>>21017072
FUCK

>>21017072
I hope Eric brought plenty of boneglue

Rolled 10

>>21017083
looks like bloodLUST is prevalent here

Rolled 5

>>21017033
just release the bees damnit

Rolled 7

>>21017097
against a foe in plate armour?

>>21017031
You stand at the same time as Bjorn and charge him with your sword out. He parries it away with his recently picked up axe handle and goes in for a decapitation.

>>21017034
Sensing, well, not death just a bit of a set back, you show him your real power.

You dance the Cha-Cha, combat style, naturally, and delver head rumbling blows with your cha-cha-ing fists.

Then you go north to the Russian leg dance, utterly destroying his little Bjornads.

The Dance evolves as the crowd's stomping and clapping takes on a whole beat of its own, your blows going in time to the underlying beat of the arena.

Roll 1d100 to connect to the beat of the universe and send Bjorn out with style.

>>21017033
swing legs round to perform a windmill. Start to breakdance, challenge Bjorn to a b-boy dance battle

Rolled 18

>>21017109
eye slits

Rolled 75

>>21017112
WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU

Rolled 77

>>21017112
lets do this with style

>>21017112

Rolled 45

>>21017112
Dance the dance of life, as an undead

Rolled 97

>>21017112

FOR THE RHYTHM OF THE WORLD!

>>21017135
we got a winrar

Rolled 11

clearly, the dice lords are pleased by our embracing the path of the skeletal lord of the dance.

>>21017124
>>21017135
Buddy you're a boy make a big noise
Playin' in the street gonna be a big man some day
You got mud on yo' face
You big disgrace
Kickin' your can all over the place

>>21017124
>>21017127
>>21017135
YOU FEEL THE BEAT OVERTAKING YOU.

You moves become more and more complex, faster and faster, the crowd can't keep up with the beat of your dance, so you command the universe to.

All of reality vibrates and pounds like a drum as you continue to dance.

Soon reality itself is breaking apart at the hinges in the fighting pit around you and Bjorn, as you dance your eyes never leave Bjorn's. His mind is becoming unhinged at seeing through the cracks of reality through the power of dance.

A great rift appears behind Bjorn just as you swing him around for the crescendo, you fling him through the tear and into another reality. A reality of music and song, where all communication is through bodily movements.

Bjorn has become a Bee.

And is very happy with his new life.

You are removed from the pits for scaring people.

You're given your prizes, a sack full of cash and a new shield.

The sun has set now, and Erik leads you to an inn.

What do you do now?

Rolled 87

>>21017173
I dunno, lord of the dance is snappy enough on its own. Don't need to muscle in on mort's territory of musical skeletons as well. Besides, can't make up a snappy title for that, best to just stick with what we know. Now, if the crowd starts singing, why the hell not.

>>21017196
equip two shields and challenge mark to a duel. shield bash the mother fucker into submission. I'll show you who's the top paladin here. Just because we're frenemies doesn't mean you get it easy

>>21017196
Get to reading that book.

>>21017196

Spend it all on hookers and blow.

Either that, or (since both of those things are useless to us) go sit in the inn and see if there are any adventurers there.

ask Erik to make Bone # 207, if you know what i mean.

>>21017196
Go find a bacculum and see if erik can attach it for you

>>21017217
Mark is nowhere to be found.

>>21017222
You settle down for the night at the Inn and read the little book.

Seems the author, Leroc, just upped and decided to see the world, paying his way by dancing in pubs and streets.

He details all the places he saw and the things he did. Seems like a real party animal.

The book ends with Leroc telling the reader how he beat the Beast by dancing with the Devil himself, to the theme of ay macarena.

>>21017261
>"Daniel, the human penis is made of erectile tissue, not muscle and bone. Read a book on human anatomy."
Request denied.

>>21017272
See above. It would be too large, anyway.

>>21017240
The hookers are too scared you'll dance them into another reality to talk with you. And there's no blow.

But the inn itself is housing a few adventurers. They're easy to spot, each is trying to look as badass as possible, without attracting attention, whilst attracting attention by being the only people with hood up and a constant scowl.

What do you do?

>>21017299
challenge adventurers to duel. use 2 shields and bash their pansy asses into submission

>>21017323
They each decline to duel, calling you an "Undead dancing faggot.".

What do you do?

>>21017299
Go talk with the adventurers and see if the Know anything about Janus.

>>21017332
bash them for calling me a dancing faggot

>>21017340
>"Janus is some jacked up little shit who sold his soul for power, then got cocky taking over a kingdom. So, naturally, we flocked here to fuck him up."

>>21017341
You bash him in the head, repeatedly yelling "I AM NOT A FAGGOT.".

Seems that other adventurers are after Janus and the glory he offers.

What do you do?

Duel wielding shield bash dance for their insolence!

>>21017352
Assert your dominance and challenge them for the right to slay janus. It may be that your master only needs him dead, but the glory shall be yours and Lord Hydra's!

>>21017388
or, we send them in and nab janus while he's distracted

>>21017352
Give them false information about Janus. Don't want anyone stealing our buddy Eric's glory.

>>21017388
There's only 4 of them in the inn, and one is shouting that you hit him with a shield for no reason. Such a claim wouldn't hold outside the room.

You can still fight them, but it wont stop others from going after Janus.

What do you do?

>>21017397
we just let janus beat on them and stab him in the back while he's monologuing. Easy as pie

spread the word that we want Janus. \anyone who feels different can enjoy life as an extradimensional bee.

>>21017402
Hit the bitchy one again and tell him to stop being such a faggot. You don't even have a penis and you're still getting better bitches than his sorry ass. We can't just charge in on this one alone like an idiot though, proper planning and preparation is what has gotten us this far.

>>21017352

Joke's on that guy. It's not gay unless your balls touch and we don't have any balls! Hahaha!

>>21017417
You hit him again and tell him to stop crying.

>>21017412
They all agree, though each of them are lying, that you can have him.

What do you do?

>>21017435
Let them go ahead and use them as distractions

>>21017444
You are 20 miles south of the actual city of Kerm. And none of you know how to navigate through the desert.

What do you do now?

>>21017435
We can't be stupid here, this is the first foe we've faced that is probably expecting an army to try and kill him. We need to prepare properly, research his defenses and offensive capabilities. When it comes down to it, all we need to do is use hydra's gift on him, but we'd still have his demons to deal with. So, let us research the best means to kill demons

>>21017452
Look for merchants heading there, and offer to guard them

>>21017452
sucks to be them
needing water and food
erik and sir danial can just walk across

>>21017468
Erik has already arranged that while you were reveling in a bit of ultra violence.

>>21017462
Janus is an unknown, that's the problems with Warlocks, they come out of the blue with massive power, and get more power from sacrificing others to their demon masters.

And it seems this one's been sacrificing a city and's gotten powerful enough to hold off an army.

There are books on demon warfare though.

What do you do?

>>21017499
read the books, we need all the info we can get

>>21017499
See if Erik knows more about demons, demonic pacts, if it is likely that there are clauses in the agreement that if not fulfilled can turn Janus's power against him, that sort of thing.

And if we can find books on demon warfare read them.

Rolled 20

Dance for Hydra to bless our arrows

>>21017517
I didn't say you had them, just that they exist.

>>21017520
>"Sudden massive power? Gotta have a massive cost. That must be why he's sacrificing the city and everyone in it. A sacrifice that size would give him something ridicules. Honestly, there's two things that can be done. Either go in and kill everything that looks hostile, or wait for them all to die of starvation."

It's brutal, but true.

You leave to find a book store, but it's closed as it's the middle of the night.

What do you do?

>>21017549
You do a little jig because no one can see it, but it has the desired effect. Each arrow gains a scaled outer shell that'll fragment on contact into smaller arrows and shred the target.

>>21017550
See if we can find our adventurer frenemies. Maybe mark or clarice would know something. Faggot ranger can die in a fire for all you care

>>21017520
He must at least know how to summon a succubus

>>21017564
aoe artillery weapons, nice. Could rain hell down on the city and get rid of the meat of the monster army

>>21017550
I vote for killing everything that looks hostile, and saving anyone who doesn't.

>>21017574

If Erik could summon a succubus, do you think he would have ever gotten around to ressurecting us?

>>21017574
>"Oh I've tried, on yes. Indeed. Mmm... Oh right, yes, well, I did, once, at school. But right now? I don't have the stuff for it."

>>21017572
It would seem your frenemies, as you so put it, are sleeping rough. They're out of coin and don't have a noble man master with a treasury greater than most Lord's.

You stalk up in the dark as they're sleeping in the alleyway. Clarice is shifting position and mumbling, her face looks strained from her dream.

Her eyes shoot open and see you coming out from the dark.

Men have never heard such a scream.

Mark and Adrian are up and are moving forward to attack, before they see it's you and stop.

Adrian calls you a monster for what you've done to Clarice.

Marks wants to know what you want.

You tell them you're looking for information on demons and demon combat.

Mark says just hit them until they die.
Adrian quips that a demon like yourself should know how to fight his brethren.
Clarice just wails and sobs.

What do you do?

>>21017622
good point

>>21017622
He allready lost his body, I don't think he's in the market for bartering with his soul.

>>21017633
I think we should stop giving Clarice PTSD.

>>21017633
bash adrian because he's a twat. call him a racist. Also, give them some coin for a room somewhere on the condition they leave adrian out in the cold

>>21017651

Seconded. the fun is over now that she's actually this badly bothered. Let's take it easy on her from now on.

>>21017651

It's all fun and games until somebody gets PTSD...

>>21017665
yeah, we gotta get that seduce die down from a 1d10,000

>>21017633
"Mark, you're actually kinda useful for once, congratulations.

Adrian, you're useless and you know I'm not a demon.

Clarice, I'm sorry to have caused you distress.

Would the three of you like somewhere to sleep that isn't in an alleyway?"

>>21017651
Also remind Adrian that we are not a demon. We are an ally of justice.
A Justice twisted to our needs, but a Justice nonetheless.

>>21017684

We are the... bone of our... sword?

>>21017684
we're justice. if things go south with erik, we have hydra on our side

>>21017651
I don't this shit is hilarious. if it gets that bad we can try curing that bitch with a dance. bitches love dances

>>21017633

Get them a room to sleep in. Apologise to Clarice for scaring her, tell her it wasn't our intention.

>>21017652
Agreeded on this

>>21017699
you know, her reaction is rather overblown. we stole a kiss and made lewd comments. Something is amiss here

File: 1349563984887.jpg-(182 KB, 799x542, Bretheren!.jpg)

>>21017652
Your fist knocks Adrian down to the ground, then you flick a coin onto him and tell him to find somewhere warm to sleep.

"Don't be so judgmental, you racist twat."

They thank you, well, Mark does, but they can't leave Adrian out in the cold.

>>21017665
>>21017651
It really isn't you anymore, just unfortunate timing.

>>21017684
"I am the Law, Adrian, my Law, but the Law still."

Paladin code moves Mark to wrist lock with you.
See pic.

You let them find an inn, the same one you're at, it would seem.

What do you do?

>>21017711
ORLY? wat inclines you to believe that friend? maybe a rasist prick in their group has been saying things hum?

>>21017713
Get Clarice something nice to drink and apologize for scaring her without meaning to.

>>21017711
Clarice is a rather sheltered girl, having never faced the real world until she was 16. And a walking skeleton leaving graveworms in her mouth, and popping up everywhere, summoning Krackens, and being a general freak have left a mark on her.

>>21017713
Wander around for a bit to pass the time, go beach combing and converse with hydra via dance

>>21017711
I think having a skeleton making a pass at you would traumatize anyone.

>>21017722
You have a point. Adrian is obviously the kind of friendzoned person who must cock(bone)block everyone because he can't have her.

>>21017740
Racist

>>21017744
>>21017722

You know we keep assuming Adrian's a dick, but he's never actually done anything that we haven't earned.

>>21017759
Details, details. We just bought him a room so he didn't have to sleep in the cold

>>21017755

No no no, the term is Deathist

>>21017727
You buy a round of drinks for your frenemies, something strong and warm for Clarice, probably whiskey.

You sit down with them and give them their drinks. Clarice is really hammering that bottle.

Adrian says something along the lines of "My body is a temple, and I will not allow liquor into it."

Mark thanks you for the ale and mead and drinks like a fish.

Clarice is a lightweight, and actually can't remember the last 5 seconds, so she's opened up to you a bit. Mark is much the say, he's gotten a red nose and cheeks.

Adrian is sipping ginger beer.

What do you do?

>>21017776
spike adrian's drink because fuck that guy. Propose an alliance to take down your foe, as other adventurers are lining up at this one.

>>21017776
So how'd you like to be famous?.
We can make it seem that they took out Janus while Erik get all the power.

>>21017776
take your leave of these mortal frenimies and go for a beach comb. maybe converse with our god about things for a bit?

>>21017776

Nevermind, Adrian's a total prick. Can't trust someone who won't drink alcohol.

Let's propose teaming up against Janus. For a split of the spoils, of course. We only need Janus gone and whatever knowledge and magical items he had for Erik. The others can take most of the wealth and glory gained.

>>21017796
You slap Adrian down, as he's getting up you drop in a capsule from your side bag into his drink.

He takes a sip and his pupils expand to twice their normal size.

>>21017810
>>21017797
>"Shounds goods"
Mark slurs.
>"*Hic* yeah... We should go fuck that cunt up!"
Clarice adds.
>"Oh god, oh god, oh god the walls are melting!"

You see the drugs are working.

You've gained three new "allies" to aid you on the morrow.

They pass out soon after, and you carry them to their rooms.

The dawn comes and the heat goes right up. You're glad you can't feel it, because you can see it. Heat waves radiate off everything.

Erik meets you and takes you to the caravan leading the way.

You ask them to wait for your traveling companions, who arrive shortly after.

You set off into the desert.

After a few hours under the unmerciful sun you arrive at the great gate of Kern. A massive marble block 6 feet thick. It's the only way in to the city.

You can see other adventurers making camp, as well as armies setting up for the battle to come.

What do you do?

>>21017850
Dance the dance of preparation. also, see if erik can upgrade your bees

>>21017862
Roll to dance. 1d20.

Rolled 11

>>21017872
I can dance

Rolled 5

>>21017872
I could never have predicted where the dance of solitude would take this quest

Rolled 18

>>21017872
rollan

>>21017896
With a skip and a beat that none can match, not in a desert, anyway, pitiful mortals with their sweat.

You set up your tents and lodgings for the wait, hammering pegs into sand with a rhythm no one's ever witnessed.

Your tents are now set up and the frenemies are resting.

You and Erik at standing at the base of the Gate.

What do you do?

>>21017896
it seems the dance of preparation is fantastical

>>21017850
Jump over the wall to scout our enemies.

>>21017925
The wall is 50 feet high, and smooth like a baby's bottom.

You can't jump or climb it.

What do you do?

>>21017922
Can we commune with hydra here?

>>21017939

Knock.

>>21017939
Tunnel under it

Rolled 11

>>21017939
dance the dance of digging under it like bugs bunny

>>21017939
Send the bees. Have them make shapes to indicate things.

Rolled 5

>>21017939
ACTIVATE DANHAND MODE. I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS DAY TO COME

>>21017966

OH GOD YES ALL WE NEED IS A ZOMBIE HAND

ERIK PREPARE TO MAKE THE SACRIFICE

>>21017939
Well, marble's a fairly soft stone. We could chip though that eventualy.
Unless it's actualy granite with marble cladding or something, anyway.

Rolled 9

>>21017939
use powerful hands in guantlets to make handholds

>>21017981
we have 2 perfectly good undead hands. Failing that, the sad undead half-man could work as a donor. or adrian.

>>21017996

Hey, bringing Erik's hand with us means we can have him use magic for us. Plus it grows back, he's a Lich.

>>21017945
If you roll high on a 1d100, yeah.

>>21017946
No answer.

>>21017951
Every attempt to dig is met with sand filling the hole, rendering your effort moot.
>>21017955
Hornets*

You command them to do some recon.

They return a short while later. You get the gist of it, the streets are empty, apart from horrid creatures prowling for victims. The King's Castle itself is guarded on all fronts by demons of all degrees. They wouldn't go in without you to be a shield.

>>21017984
It is granite, I forgot the word/confused them.

You can pray to Hydra (1d100), attempt to make hand holds with your fists of fury (1d20) or wait for developments.

What do you do?

Can we fashion a grappling hook to be fired from out siege bow?

Rolled 2

>>21018016
Hydra, grant us your wisdom

Rolled 59

>>21018016
Praise be to the Hydra.

Rolled 81

>>21018029
>/tg/dice.jpeg

>>21018029
>"HURR DURR HURR"

You've connected to the wrong God Link, it seems.

Most likely an idiot god of retards.

You need over 90 to get Hydra to act in the desert.

Rolled 14

>>21018016
Hail Hydra,
grant us wisdom and power in this sandy environment

Rolled 34

Bust a move in anattempt to commune with the hydra

Rolled 26

>>21018044
woops, rolled a d20
reroll

Rolled 87

>>21018043
well fuck

>>21018012
This. He could sit back at the camp and scry his hand to keep track of what's going on, and to aim spells.

You've got three more attempts to contact Hydra.

Rolled 87

>>21018043
i will dance to our god

Rolled 8

>>21018043
Looks like we wait.

Rolled 24

>>21018064
dice gods grant me this boon, that we may quest to please ye

Rolled 14

>>21018075
so close
i will persevere

Rolled 12

>>21018064
handholds it is

>>21018064
Let's try fashioning a hook attached to one of our arrows and a rope trailing from it. We can then have someone climb up and drop something to let more people up and then open up the gates from the inside.

>>21018082
Ok, let's stop this shit now, before we run out of meta-minutes for the godphone.
We've got some rope and a bow, right? This should be easy.

seems that we'll never contact the hydra from this far out in the desert.

Is there back door we could use?
Surely in a city this size not everyone uses the main gate all the time.

>>21018093
I just want to danhand at some point

Hydra is deaf to your please, Janus must be immensely powerful to dampen your connection to Hydra.

You're going in alone*

*with an army and frenemies.

>>21018090
You bend some metal rods and tie a rope and arrow to it.

You aim, and to the surprise of those around you, fire it. People are used to seeing men wield siege bows, not even other adventurers.

The hook lands on the rampart and you begin your climb.

You get halfway up and something red and horned looks over the side, grins a shit eating grin, and cuts the rope.

You fall onto the soft sand as the rope falls down onto you.

What do you do?

>>21018112
Danhand?

>>21018127

Don't... don't worry about it man.

Rolled 11

>>21018120
Shoot that motherfucker.
Rollan for sniper

File: 1349566170503.jpg-(111 KB, 500x375, danhand.jpg)

>>21018127
Daniel Fortesque was a character in a game for the ps1 called medievil. He did this to do recon/get in through cracks in walls and would switch between head and body to solve puzzles from time to time

Can Erik levitate us up, so we can clear the ramparts, and then let some people climb up?

>>21018127
I think he wants to see if our hand can act independently of us.

>>21018120
See if anyone has any magics or siege weapons that can launch us to the top of the wall so we can open the gate for the rest of them.

i believe it would be to disconnect your hand from your body and transfer your sentience into it, allowing you to use it as a vessel that you could control. like the hand from THe Adams Family.

Rolled 2

>>21018120
Handholds? fuck that shit
Fire an arrow in to the very rock of the parapets
DRAW WITH ALL OF OUR MIGHT
LOOSE WITH THE FURY OF THE HYDRA

>>21018164
he was also a skeleton resurrected by an evil lich, his kingdom he was defending was called gallowmere, and he fought to live up to his name as a hero. Seriously awesome game

Rolled 3

>>21018180
or dont

Rolled 20

>>21018120
Erik. Ideas?