>>20990495

Let's try to rouse her and gently reintroduce her to Stumbles.

I missed the thread last night due to work, anyone have the suptg link please?! :(

>>20990517
"Rebecca?" you tap her head with your foot.

"Wakey wakey?" you're not sure what exactly you're supposed to do.

In battle if someone passed out you usually dragged them away and left them.

>>20990537
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/20976897/
It was a rather short one.

Rebecca stirs but doesn't wake.

What do you do?

>>20990546
Whenever she wakes up, we should put on our best shit-eating grin and scold her for being insensitive towards poor old Stumbles, and that she should check her nonmagically-created privilege.

>>20990546

Could always pinch her nose and cover her mouth to force her to wake up.

>>20990563
As you have no skin or muscle on your face, you are always in grin mode. There's no difference between genuine and shit-eating.

>"Hold her noshe, I heard that wakesh people up."
Stumbles offers this advice, can't really hurt.

You kneel down and hold the girl's nose. After a few seconds she coughs and wakes up.

"Rebecca, you need to check your nonmagically-created privilege"

>"Shut up, Uncle."
She says to you. Then she turns her head to look up at Stumbles.
>"I'm so sorry, I don't usually meet spider creatures. And Uncle didn't tell me what to expect. Please forgive me."

>"Naturally."

Stumbles puts a clawed hands out and she takes his wrist, pulling herself up.
>"So I'm your apprentice then? Better show me my work."

Stumbles leads Rebecca into his workshop and closes the door.

What do you do?

>>20990614

Let's go find Mort and see how we can help him make his club.

>>20990644
You've done all you can for Stumbles and Rebecca, it's time to set Mort on the right path.

You find him in the Library, drinking and talking with Erik. Both of them are standing over the semi-animate corpse of Beric, laughing.

Beric is ranting and raving at you, for killing him without honourable battle. You tell him to ask if he wants fries with those salty tears.

Erik falls out his chair, laughing.

"OK, Mort, I've got the day off. Let's get this club of yours started."

>"O-O-OK."
He says between gasps of air.

>"Erik, I've gotta go, feel free to come down to the club when I've got it running."

Erik just gives a thumbs up.

You and Mort leave the Manor house, on the way down you can see Stumbles tutoring Rebecca over proper stitching technique.

You decide to turn your old home, the one Rebecca's family isn't using, over to Mort to use.

You lead him inside so he can get a mental layout.

He comes back after 20 minutes and investigates the basement.

What do you do now?

>>20990708
is there anything we can do to help him? if not, maybe we should get a hobby. killing stuff all the time is fine and all, but we have to do something else right?

>>20990747

This.

>>20990747
What would you like to do? I can write pretty much anything, this is your story.

>>20990708
How exactly can we help him beyond some investment capital?
Just give him ideas? Of course the place should be classy and shit, mellow jazz music playing and whatnot but beyond that, I'm lost

>>20990759

How about we start learning how to sail?

>>20990708
Explore the house?
I'm not sure.

>>20990759
Hey, alright. Go see if Erik has a copy of "The Lustful Lizardfolk Housemaid"

>>20990759
did we have any skills besides murder in life? probably not. maybe we can ask Erik to give us magic lessons? or see if we have any innate magic from being a fucking skeleton

>>20990807
Well, it is our character and we can probably choose what skills we had.
I'm liking the idea to learn some basic magic.

But lets focus on Mort's clubhouse and Stumble's tailoring business for now.

>>20990770
Mort has made a pact with Erik. After he's built his club, using undead labour, he's going to bequeath his power to Erik.

It's a ritual magic users use to prove allegiance to other magic users.

>>20990769
Mort has no need of help right now, as he's just surveying.

>>20990770
If you wanted to you could read some of Erik's books on how to sail. With that skill you could visit far off lands.

>>20990786
There's not much more to the house apart from servant's quarters and empty lodgings.

>>20990788
Lizardfolk? Don't be ridicules!

>>20990807
You're a good survivalist. In life you were a hero, which is essentially a professional murder machine.

What do you do?

>>20990835

Well we'll have to travel to far off lands to murderize the other magic users above Erik sooner or later. Might as well be ready and know how to do it. Let's read some books on sailing!

>>20990853
You already know the basics of sailing, if you wanted you could cross a calm body of water.

>>20990853
this seems most practical, though there's nothing quite like experience

>>20990853
That's really shitty reason to learn sailing in the line of "I might need to visit Russia some day, so I better learn how to build trains".

There are professional people with big-ass boats who do that shit for a living. If we ever need to go to other land, just buy a ticket.

>>20990835
I was thinking... maybe we could ask Erik about some sort of magical portable communications device - like a magic mirror, or something - we can use to get advice and keep tabs on the place whilst we're off shanking wizards in far away lands.

>>20990881

Good idea.

>>20990835

Well, if Mort doesn't need any help right now... lets go around town and see what's up, learn of latest news.

>>20990881

Oh, you know what, we'll need a way to carry all the stuff we loot off of the dead magic users as well. If we could get a bag of holding or something similar...

>>20990881
You return to the Manor ask Erik about a mobile communications device.

Erik hands you a sea conch.

"Really?"

>"Oh yes, it's a portable dimensional hole big enough for sound waves."

You return to town, and test the sea conch.

"Erik?"
>"Daniel?"
"Holy shit it works."

You drop it into your bag and enter the tavern and ask the bartender for news.

Nothings really going on in town, there's some construction going on in a house, but you know that.

The wolves of Lupin forest have stopped attacking the people.

And there's going to be a small battalion marching through the town to go onto Kerd. The Gem of the Desert.

Apparently the King's been possessed and so has everyone else in the town.

Apparently Gaius Meridian will be leading them to Kerd.

There's a scouting mission to the mountains to find a new coal or iron vein. Or a trade route to Hermed in the north.

What do you do?

>>20990896
This sounds like a good idea. Best not go to far while Rebecca is learning her trade.
Besides, Mort may still have some wicked scheme up his sleeve

>>20990973
Who is Gaius Meridian?

Ask more about the scouting mission

>>20990973

This battalion ins't going to cause problems for our village and mansion, right? I'd like to ask around to get more information.

>>20990973

A possessed King and town? The old adventurer blood's already boiling. Ask more about the battalion and the situation at Kerd!

>>20990999
Gaius is a famous General, you've not heard because you've been out of it for some time.

He lead a great conquest of the desert to reclaim Kerd's rightful lands.

The scouting mission is going on because the coal and iron seams under the town are running low. It's a fact that there's plentiful reserves in the mountains, but the problem is finding them. And you know there are things lurking in those woods, you're wearing one as a cloak.

>>20991008
The battalion of Gaius are renown for their honour on and off the field, sporting more medics and scholars than actual soldiers. Though they're both very well trained in the art of combat.

>>20991026
Kerd was a trade outpost in the desert built around a freshwater oasis. As time passed the oasis grew bigger and bigger, and so did the outpost. Eventually becoming a town, then a city, and finally the Capital of the Desert.

The King of Kerd is not born to his position, but chosen from the League of Learned Men. A group of scholars and philosophers concerned with finding how to improve life.

The barkeep says that everything went tits up when the King let Janus onto his council. According to rumor Janus made a pact with a demon for power, in exchange for the souls of Kerd.

What do you do?

>>20991069

I wonder if getting some fresh air would be good for Erik's learning. Let's bring him with us on a small adventure to Kurd, get his eldritch bones a bit more motivated.

>>20991089

*Kerd, my bad.

This expedition would be a good chance for Erik to test out what little he's learned, and he'd make a good companion.

>>20991069

Janus sounds like bad news and something we need to kill for Eric. But I'm worried if we leave the town the battalion will be smite happy and destroy the mansion. Maybe we should meet up with Gaius to explain that we are not dangerous and would like to offer assistance.

>>20991069
I think we could help out with scouting mission.
Our town needs that more than some desert city in distant land.

>>20991089
You step outside to use your newly acquired conch.
"Erik?"
>"Yes, magic conch?"
"It's Daniel, anywho, the Barkeep is has just told me that Kerd's been taken over by Janus, a guy who made a deal with a demon for power. Know anything? And do you want to go check it out?"
>"Janus.. Janus... Oh yeah, he was an emissary from some place East. Pretty strange fellow, actually. He came to talk to me about demonic summoning. He promised he wouldn't actually do it, so I gave him one of my books."

Jesus Christ Erik...

"So it's your fault..."
>"Maybe, but I wouldn't blame myself. I didn't make him do it."
"You gave him the knowledge. And now I'll have to go do my thing. And you're coming with me."

Do you travel on ahead with Erik, or will you wait for Gaius and his battalion to show you the way?

>>20991102
>Erik to test out what little he's learned, and he'd make a good companion.

We brought a mountain load of books for Erik to study just in a week time. Give the man few months before expecting him to become any better.

>>20991155
Still don't see how it is our problem.

We should see if we can help out with the ore finding mission. We can also use this to check around for any ruins and get a suitable mage tower for Erik (so as to avoid adventurers and maybe we can lose most of the erotica in transit and force him to actually study magic)

>>20991155

We probably shouldn't take any chances. If we meet up with Gaius he may misunderstand us and try to kill us, but if we leave without making any preparations Gaius could burn down the mansion with poor Stumbles and our family inside it. We could either ask the town to keep our existence hushed up to outsiders or take the risk of meeting Gaius personally.

>>20991180

We're adventurers, everything is our problem.

>>20991185

The ore finding mission isn't going anywhere, but if we don't get to Kerd first something bad could go down.

>>20991185

We have to go kill Janus anyways, so might as well get it over with.

>>20991155

Just remembered that Eric knows Illusion magic! Maybe he can make us look human so Gaius won't freak out at the lich necromancer and his MASSIVE minion.

>>20991186
Keep the town hushed up since it's better if news doesn't get out about a skeleton going from area to area murdering wizards.

>>20991197
>We're adventurers, everything is our problem.
no it isn't

>The ore finding mission isn't going anywhere, but if we don't get to Kerd first something bad could go down.
Actually it is more relevant than Kerd since people from OUR town are going to go to that mission and will probably run into some horrible cave monsters or something. This is more relevant to us PERSONALLY.

Entire army is going to deal with Kerd, we aren't really needed there imo

>>20991180
It's that old adventurer's soul, it's in the bones.
>>20991185
If you go ore finding you'll miss Gaius and his men coming through town, and the after effects.

>>20991186
Gaius is said to be a level headed man, having ogres and goblins as soldiers. He's not very discriminating
>>20991206
Eventually you'll have to deal with every magic user.
>>20991211
The town would deny your existence until questioned extensively. So unless they know about you, your existence is a secret. The don't want to be known as a town harboring a lich.
>>20991216
Everything is generally your problem, actually. Just in varying degrees. There's still enough coal and iron under the town for another 10 months of mining.

It's not an entire army, just a battalion.

What do you do?

>>20991216

Damn well is our problem, we have to fix Erik's mistakes.

And a scouting mission is usually smart enough to run away from monsters, that's why they're scouting.

Problem is that an entire capital city going demonic could easily spill over into the neighboring areas.

And most of all, adventurers know to never trust armies to get the job done.

>>20991244

Then let's go ahead and meet with Gaius. He knows the way and coordinating with him should make it easier to infiltrate the demonic city.

>>20990495
Rebecca is our sister? How does that work?

>>20991269
You could also charter a ship if you wish not to join with Gaius.

>>20991277
I got muddled a bit there. My bad.

Why are we taking Erik along then?
Isn't he generally useless?

Rolled 2

>>20991278

Well there's advantages and disadvantages to either approach, so I'll flip a d2. 1 is go with Gaius, 2 is go on our own to get there sooner.

>>20991296
The dice have spoken I say we get delivered in a crate to save on cash.

>>20991294
Because he could learn a lot from the council of learned men. And it's his fault. He has to understand that his actions will have repercussions.
>>20991312
>>20991296
You decide that it'll be quicker without joinging Gaius, and that you should head out on your own.

You return to the manor house and tell Erik to pack his bags. He gets right on it while you tell Stumbles and Rebecca that you're leaving for a while.

>"Good luck, Daniel, I hope you find shucshes."
Stumbles encourages you.
>"So you've killed so much in this land, you need to move to somewhere else for more slaughter? You're going off to a strange land, and you're going to kill a man leading a rebellion against a monarch. For all you know it could be to instill democracy or a republic."

"Oh you children and your strange ideas... I'll pick you up something nice."

What shall you take upon your journey?

>>20991360

All I can think of is a tent and only so Eric can prepare his magic.

Also does Eric know illusions?

>>20991360
>man leading a rebellion against a monarch. For all you know it could be to instill democracy or a republic.
Clearly an american

>What shall you take upon your journey?
definitely our fuckhuge bow.
Our armor (with bees), sword and... hmm, I dunno, personally we don't need much.
Thought we should make sure that bees survive the trip over the sea

Rolled 2

>>20991360

Let's take our sword, shield, armor, siege bow, etc. Since we're dealing with demons, we probably will want some sort of divine protection if we can find any. We'll want to try to rescue the townsfolk from demonic possession, so we should ask Erik if he has anything in his repertoire that can mass-cleanse a city. (probably not)

>>20991360

"You know, you can't spell democracy without demo. N. Demon."

>>20991360
We sort of forgot about re-becoming a Paladin because that particular group HATES undead. Any possibility another god focuses more on evil than undead and would let us join?

>>20991382
Already said, I'm English.

>>20991379
Erik knows some basic illusions, like creating light and sound, and making a "shadow" of himself.

>>20991386
You pack your combat gear, you wont be needing your noble man's cloths where you're going.


Your sword on your hip and shield on your back with your bow, and the quiver across the small of your back.

You have a few charms from your past life that you were buried with, but against a demon that took control of Kerm, it's not going to do much. The placebo effect is very welcome, though.

You meet Erik in the courtyard, he's carrying his staff and a sack full of books. You really hope they're magic tomes and memoirs of long dead wizards to help Erik.

But most likely it's erotica for the ship journey.

You and Erik walk for a day and a night down worn roads and paths, just talking about your lives.

Erik tells you why he chose you to revive, in a graveyard full of heroes and adventurers.

>"Well, when I was a lad, my mother would tell my stories of Sir Daniel and all the good he did. I grew up wanting to be like you, to one day meet you. But while I was in school you died. So after my forced Lichdom, I decided to bring you back. I'm sorry, truly, I had just spent so much time hearing about all the amazing stuff you did, I just wanted to meet you."

What do you do?

>>20991471
Re-becoming a Paladin would be a way to get Divine Protection.

>>20991360
Standard adventurer gear is agiven, I assume.
So, bow and arrows, a case to keep them in, and a tent.
And make sure that Erik doesn't sneak any pornos into his gear or yours. He's gotta focus.

>>20991471
Indeed it would, there's many sea gods that have no real view on your physical state. As long as you do good and protect those who can not protect themselves, you'll get their protection and blessing.

You'll no doubt find many shrines down at the docks.

>>20991482
"You didn't seem to recognize me when I was first revived."

>>20991518
>"All my books had pictures, and you were smashing the skeletons with a warhammer."

>>20991488
Or it would be a great way to get smote (Or is it smited? Is that a word?). While evil-slaying moves doen't work on us, obviously, we still could get turned or the like.

>>20991360
Bring bees. And the paladin from the adventuring party. And the sexy mage chick. Fuck the ranger, you have a siege bow

>>20991523
"I wonder what happened to that hammer..."

>>20991517

Let's see if we can garner the protection from one of the gods of the sea while we're at the docks. It might not count for much in a city of demons, but it's certainly better than nothing.

>>20991561
He was a third wheel anyway.

>>20991578
Fourth wheel. We must seduce the mage. And possibly the paladin. We must seduce everything.

>>20991482
>Already said, I'm English.

I meant, the girl, Rebecca, is clearly an American since that is the way they always seem to think. That rebels are always good and that the government is always bad.

>>20991543
That's why we do our research before hand. Also, a disguise could help vs the priests. It's the gods themselves we should be more worried about.

>>20991482

Nice to know I've inspired you but besides raising me and reading porn what have you done with your life, heroic wise?

>>20991523
"And now I'm a skeleton.
Funny how things turn out, huh?"

>>20991585

>Seducing Smitey O'Templer

No.

>>20991589
Hey! I take offense to that! I think OUR rebels were assholes. Also, those guys who took over Hawaii were pricks.

>>20991624
That's what they said about the werewolf

>>20991690
I think everyone said yes to the werewolf

>>20991714
Only after a confirmed 20. We shall see what the dice gods say

>>20991567
You lost the hammer when you planted it in a Golem's fiery heart.

>>20991595
>"Oh yes, I love the poetry of it."
>>20991593
>"I made my staff from Ghost wood, I had to fight the tree."

After a few more days on the rode you start to hear the sea. It resonates deep within you, memories of far off lands, of buxom valkyies, damn that was a good year.

Then you can see the shine of the ocean itself, and the sight of ships coming and going in and out of the waves.

The docks are bustling with life and movement. It makes the town of Gallowmere seem dead by comparison.

You tell Erik to pull his hood low and use some basic illusion magic to make the hollow of the hood black as night. You just pull down your visor.

You enter to docks and tell Erik to charter your journey. He leaves to find a ship heading east.

You yourself go to the Temples of the Sea to find a suitable God.

You've got;
>Dagon, lord of harvest.
>The Hydra, lord of the deep and dark
>Marinas, lord of the waves
>Herun, lord of sea faring man

Do you want to align with one?

>>20991589
Phhhhhhhhahahahahahaha no.
Well, hollywood thinks so, but fuck them.

So Erik, where did you ever find so much, uh, "reading material"? Your house is filled!

>>20991724
I think the deep and dark is fitting, considering undead and all

>>20991724

I don't want to align with any gods.
Why should we?

>>20991585
can we get our fleshy bits back first?

>>20991746

You mean you don't want Cthulhu as your patron god?

>>20991753
MAGIC

>>20991753

For divine protection. We're about to go up against bloody demons. We were paladins in our past live anyways, having the power back would be nice.

>>20991759
We will be constantly trying to seduce. If we have fleshy bits by the time it happens, so be it. One way or another we'll get a bone in her.

>>20991724

Herun sounds good. We want to learn how to sail and stuff right?

>>20991724
"The Hydra" already sounds badass, and "lord of the deep and dark" sounds like it fits our legion of darkness thing we have going for us. Fits our promiscuity too now that I think about it. Lets do a little research on the details.

>>20991759
Our cloak wants out dick, remember? What's to stop it if we get it back?

>>20991724
The Hydra sounds most fitting for a skeleton paladin.

Now, did we already decide on a crest for our shield?

>>20991734
The fact that you wage wars or encourage them in Iraq, Syria, Iran, etc. to "bring freedoms and democracy" means that majority of your population thinks so.
Don't forget that the usual rhetoric is that the rebels are honorable fighters fighting for their people and justice and the governments are the evil tyrants. While the truth is much more grey than that.

>>20991770
I'm sure we could manage on our own.

>>20991784

Hydra sounds a bit evil to me. We've been really heroic and helpful so far, the worst we've done was killing Berik and Red pragmatically.

>>20991810
We seduced it. We don't mind. We're a former adventurer, we don't really discriminate.

>>20991830
You still have to be good to get paladin powers from these gods. And we're a god damned skeleton for crying out loud, raised by a lich. I think we can deal with a few more dark themes

>>20991830
Well, one of those was a dick and the other one would've killed fellow adventurers, so that's justified.

>>20991830
Hey, we brought one of them back

>>20991830
We can find out if it's evil by asking around.We shouldn't just assume things. Remember what happened when the adventurers assumed we were evil?

>>20991753
You've been saying you want your paladin powers back.
>>20991746
The Hydra is a neutral/good god that represents the beauty of life, its mysteries, and its finality.
>>20991759
Your fleshy bits are long, long gone.
>>20991760
Cthulhu cares not for the toils of man, nor demon. He's like Erik, in a sense.

>>20991827
None of that in my thread, sonny boy.

>>20991830
Hydra is a God of misunderstood things. From the view of a man, the Hydra is an evil thing that eats ships. But from a remote view, Hydra does a very undervalued job, without Hydra the ocean would be over run with the beasts from the bottom of the oceans.
>>20991846
Dark doesn't mean evil.

Do you align with Hydra? The god of the misunderstood things and the mysterious?

>>20991862
>finality
Hah. The Hydra it is, just for the irony.

>>20991862
>None of that in my thread, sonny boy.
yeah, okay, sorry

>Hydra is a God of misunderstood things. From the view of a man, the Hydra is an evil thing that eats ships. But from a remote view, Hydra does a very undervalued job, without Hydra the ocean would be over run with the beasts from the bottom of the oceans.

Heh, sounds fitting.
Can we get more info on others before we choose?

>>20991862
Hydra

>>20991862

Wait, if we can seduce multiple people can we worship multiple gods?

>>20991890
Well, I guess worshipping multiple gods might be possible, but aligning with them and getting powers from more than one not so much.

>>20991862
>The Hydra is a neutral/good god that represents the beauty of life, its mysteries, and its finality.
>life and its finality

This coming from the thing that grows more heads when their cut off.

Anyway, it sounds like the perfect thing for us. Who's more misunderstood than we are? Well, Stumbles maybe.

>>20991898
Oh, take that out of this thread please. This is about (former) butler gentlemen skeletons and his exploits on a quest to murder a bunch of dickish mages because it's in our murderhobo blood.

>misunderstood things

We're an undead skellington swinging our blade in the name of righteousness. I think that's more than fitting.

>>20991898
I'm an American Republican and even I don't care. Just get back on topic.

>>20991888
He's right. While I agree with Hydra, there's no reason not to look into the other gods.

>>20991888
Sure.

Dagon is the god of the bounties the sea provides. The people that like by the coast usually have shrines to Dagon, and pray for great catches to feed their families. Dagon also offers more monetary bounties from the sea. A lot of ships sink, a lot carry treasure.

Marinas is the god of how even the tiniest wave can erode a mountain. He represents ambition and perseverance.

Herun is a god of travelers, traders and pirates. People pray to Herun that they don't want to meet Hydra.

>>20991890
People are open minded and promiscuous, Gods are fickle.
>>20991902
Stumbles would be looked upon very favorably by Hydra.
>>20991899
You could worship multiple gods, but you'd get no special powers or treatment.

What do you do?

>>20991941
>People pray to Herun that they don't want to meet Hydra.
lol

I vote for Hydra

>>20991941
Hydra sti

>>20991941
well, out of all of them, Hydra sounds most fitting

>>20991724
Dagon, of course. You know what old soldiers do? In every single civilized country on the soldier-veteran-elderly places?

Gardening.

>>20991972
*still

>>20991976
They usually stop doing that once their flesh has become fertilizer for their crops.
Our old bones are itching for adventure, aren't they?

>>20991976
We're still fighting

>>20991976
Oh nevermind me. The thread carried on when I wasn't looking.

>>20991988
>>20991984
Not in finnish mythos, though....

But that's off-topic.

>>20991976
Damn you. Now I'm thinking of the Gardening Golem again. Sniff.

>>20992011
GOD DAMNIT STOP SETTING OFF MY FEELS

>>20992008
Eh, it is? I have a bunch of ol' Finnish and Irish tomes available read: right next to me right now. I really need to read them sooner or later.

>>20990495
Nice BFW art OP.

File: 1349390861878.jpg-(3.22 MB, 2048x1693, Garden_of_Death.jpg)

>>20992008
>Catpcha eating pics again.

File: 1349391019433.jpg-(Spoiler Image, 135 KB, 963x616)

>>20991976
So do Golems. And you know he's favoured by Hydra.

By consensus you've decided to align with Hydra, lord of misunderstood and mysteries.

The temple of Hydra is dark and rutty, but there is power here. Serious power.

You walk to the alter, made of bronze hydra heads all intertwined. You go down on one knee and offer a prayer to Hydra and ask to serve him and request he help you in your journey.

Nothing really happens, but you know deep down that Hydra likes the irony of a dead thing protecting the living.

You've gained Hydra's favour. The creatures of the sea will ignore you on their search for food, and the deep ones will mark you as an enemy.

You turn to leave and you see the priest.

He gives you a nod of understanding, you see the scales of his skin as he does so. You return the gesture and leave to find Erik.

Erik is sitting down on a coil of rope at the docks, reading. You daren't read along. You'd rather remain in hopeful ignorance.

>"Ah, Daniel, I see you've gone along and joined the church of Hydra."
"How'd you know?"
>"I can sense your soul, as I put it back in your body. Right now you've got a mark on it."

You don't ask what it is, you just ask what ship you're on.

Erik points to the one behind him and you both get on. The captain greets you and shows you your quarters.

The ship leaves in a few minutes.

What do you do?

>>20992038

Man, I should read about Irish mythology too. From the bits I've read it sounds pretty awesome!

>>20992038
Don't take my word for it. Just second hand information from people who've talked about it on the internet.

>>20992082
Looks around the local shops.

>>20991589
OH GOD I JUST REALIZED REBECCA IS MIT ROMNEY

>>20992102
There's no time. The ship leaves in 5 minutes.

>>20992107
Yeah-no.

Rolled 6

>>20992082
Rolling to perform a little dance

>>20992086
Yeah, Irish mythology is pretty hardcore. Manly men doing manly things, for the longest parts.

On the other hand, I'm one hell of a fan of Indian mythology, despite being not too well-versed in it.
But they have legendary maces and powerlevels, so I'm game.

>>20992082
So we made Cthulhu our enemy? Pray tell, how does being dead and not having a brain affect our San checks?

>>20992082
So..... are we going to get our paladin powers again?

>>20992129
We could try it the next time we meet a cultist or a Shoggoth. I'm sure we'll get bonuses due to our alignment.

>>20992028
EXPLAIN THESE FEELS!

>>20992159
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/20890424/

>>20992159
http://1d4chan.org/wiki/The_Golem%27s_Garden
Prepare for manly tears.

>>20992159
polite sage for offtopic, here's the link to THE FEELS.
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/20890424/

>>20992179
>>20992178
>>20992172
Feelmind.

>>20992082
Sit on the edge of the pier, feet in the water, kicking back and forth as we wait.

>>20992185
Not really. I personally hate the word and have to keep my shit together so I don't just lash out at anyone using it, and I didn't like the story too much either, but I'm always happy to help.

>>20992119
You trip over your feet and create break dancing. Middle class white men around to world hate you for turning their sons into wannabe blacks.

>>20992124
You've made the Deep Ones you enemy, not >>20992141
Cthulhu. Cthulhu cares not for the world above, be it Gods or Men.

>>20992141
>>20992129
You do indeed have paladin powers once more. As to what they are, who knows.

>>20992185
More like fanmind. You've no idea how giddy I get when people do this with my Golem.

>>20992193
The captain stops you from departing the ship, you've paid your fee for the voyage, and he's raising anchor now.

Within a few minutes you're already a good distance out from the port.

This ship rocks gently against the waves. Men run about seeing to their duties. Sea bird try to scavenge bits of fish or rations.

What do you do?

>>20992218
Tie a heavy rope around our waist and a wieght to each foot, then go diving.

>>20992232
AFTER we place our bees in a safe place

Rolled 18

>>20992232
That's a fantastic idea. Make sure to get rid of the bees first, though. Anything that isn't waterproof or attached to us firmly.

Rolled 11

>>20992218
Well, let's roll, shall we?

1-10 We're talking with the captain, the first mate or the chef. Doesn't matter who.

11-20 We're doing silly pranks or anything like that.

>>20992232
You drop your gear in your cabin, and tell the hornets to leave for a bit.

Then to the horror of the crew, you tie a rope around yourself, and attack weights to your feet, and jump in.

You're immediately pulled back on board by the crew.

You should of told them you're not only undead, but a paladin of Hydra so you don't fear the seas.

Rolled 16

>>20992172
WOAH ANNON THOSE FEELS

>>20992232
And be stranded underwater with the ship sailing off without us?

Rolled 20

>>20992249
Do that, and then jump in. -_-

>>20992241
Right. Can't let our little friends get wet, can we.
On that note, how hasn't anyone noticed that we've got a mess of bees in our chest? Those things are loud.

Rolled 84

>>20992249
Love that crew, lets explain and try again?

>>20992249
NO, wait.
Begin to wail that they were too late, and some horror from the deeps has consumed our flesh.

>>20992249
You forgot to ask "What do you do?".
The protocol, man. The protocol!

Lock the door to our cabin. I reckon shit like mutated killer bee swarms will cause a panic if discovered by the wrong, rather poor fellow.

Check out how they feel about sentient skeletons. If they're cool with it, explain and go dive.

>>20992218
Shiver my timbers shiver my bones. Cackle with glee as we sail on the sea.

>>20992266
Not if they're resting on your rib cage instead of flying around.

>>20992295
Bees never rest. They're always moving about, beating their wings to cool the hive, and searching tirlessly for their next unwitting victim, that they might swoop down upon them and rend their flesh with great, uncomfortable welts.

>>20992276
You can not resist the potential for shenanigans, and start screaming that a great tentacle has sucked your face off. You life your visor and show your boney visage.

The crew scream and shout, you calm them down with a fit of laughter and tell them you're an undead paladin of Hydra. The undead part unsettles them, but you tell them they can have you share of food and drink, and they back to normal.

They clock on that a Paladin of Hydra scares away all the beasties that skim the surface of the ocean, so they're thankful.

You get up, and jump overboard this time. None try to stop you now.

What do you do?

Rolled 1

>>20992322
Perform the underwater ballet of solitude

>>20992336
This won't end well

>>20992322
Pray to our god and learn how exactly we use our powers.

Rolled 7

>>20992336
/tg/ dice, eh?
Rolling as his substitute.

>>20992322
Serch for sunken treasure, of course. Maybe nab a fish or two to bring up for dinner. Fresh food is always welcome aboard.
And keep an eye (socket) open for mermaids to seduce.

Rolled 13

>>20992348
I ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTE. A bit of fail is always a nice seasoning to keep us humble

Rolled 1

>>20992348
Please, allow me.

Rolled 5

>>20992366
wow that balad is going well....

Rolled 14

>>20992360
Well, let's hope he actually has us failing some stuff. Poor throws have been humorous so far, but not really bad for us.

>>20992322

Are there any coral reefs? Maybe we can take some as a present for Clarice.

>>20992366
Stop being the dick and noko rolling a 1d1.

Rolled 14

>>20992366
We have confirmed our critical failure at the underwater ballet of solitude

>>20992336
>Failing at solitude
Instead of "Ballet of solitude", it's now a recreation of "Under the sea" with less little mermaid and more undead.

>>20992379
Noko rolls should never be taken. No matter what they are.

>>20992336
Your dance of solitude attracts others. A lonely dance brings in a swarm of herring and cod, all of which are dragged onboard through nets to be eaten. The crew are suddenly very glad to have you with them.

>>20992345
You pray in the cold and dark for guidance from Hydra. There's no sound but for the churning of the waves, and you hear his voices in them.
>"Discover the for yourself, you lazy bag of bones."
>>20992366
You try again at the dance of solitude, only to bring more fish to you. This time it's a swarm of jelly fish and mantarays. There's even a few sea turtles.

Then the song and dance begin.

The jelly fish are used as bongo drums, the turtles as scratch decks, and the mantaray as a one string guitar.

The dance goes on for a little while, until the gathering disperses.

>>20992377
You're too high in the water to see coral down below.

What do you do?

>>20992399
Agreed, it's the same as lying about your rolls at the table.

Rolled 9

>>20992405
The answer should be obvious.
Pray to the gods that we don't encounter THAT and go coral reef searching in the DEEP.

>>20992399
>>20992378
Is a little hue so much to ask?

Rolled 10

>>20992405
Express sadness at the failure of your dance of solitude. Pray to Hydra to show you the ways of the dark lord of the dance

>>20992405

Well, I guess we just learned how to summon fish. We are Aqua(skele)man now.

>>20992425
To do that you'd have to cut the rope. Then you'd never find your way back to the ship.

>>20992436
You make a frowny face and ask Hydra to help you dance.

Roll 1d100 for Hydra's answer. Lower is better.

Rolled 73

>>20992446

Rolled 70

>>20992446
rollan

Rolled 7

>>20992446
Oh Hyyyyydraaaaaaaaa!

Rolled 5

>>20992451
>>20992459
God damnit, we shall never perfect our dance of solitude

>>20992405

Do we have any darkvision from either being undead or a Paladin of DARKNESS? If so then lets swim deeper!

Rolled 43

>>20992464
there is yet hope brother!

Rolled 50

>>20992446
C.C.C.....CCCC.....CCOMBOOOOOBREAKERSSSS

>>20992469

Changed my mind, I want to not get lost forever.

Rolled 21

>>20992469
Were're on a rope, dude. Going deeper isn't an option.

Rollen for dance powers.

>>20992460
>>20992464

(Thank fuck)

Hydra sends his emissary to show you how to dance the dark dance of the deep.

The great Kracken rises from his twilight cove and rises.

From the surface of the ship the crew look over and see you dancing with a mile long monster.

They have never known such fear, and awe at the sheer size and the beauty of the dance you perform in the low gravity waters.

Some are moved to tears, other pledge themselves to Hydra at the sight of his power.

But all things must end, the dance comes to a close and the great Kracken dives back down to the pit where light may never reach, and slumbers.

You climb up and out of the water to the sound of applause.

What do you do?

>>20992446
Why do we keep trying to dance underwater? Just climb above deck and talk to the captain of the ship.

>>20992514
Take a bow

Rolled 20

>>20992514
Talk to the captain.

>>20992514
Take a bow, and, channeling our new-found connection with our great lord, begin a long and confusing sermon for the benifit of the new devotees.

>>20992514
Face front, turn around 360 and double peace sign moonwalk to the captains cabin.

File: 1349393732132.png-(201 KB, 486x415, 1339597354380.png)

>>20992514
I don't know what's happening but this is hilarious.

Anyway, lets stop with the diving shenanigans and stay on board

Rolled 76

>>20992514
>>20992527
pass a hat, lets take some coin for Hydra that we can donate at our next landfall

Rolled 4

>>20992527
I am retard

Rolled 13

>>20992538
rolling for performance skill. Then again our god just granted us the boon of sweet dance moves, so its anyone's guess if we'd need to roll

>>20992544
no we prefer to term you mentally impaired, it looks nicer on the brochure.

>>20992557
The current PC term is "Developmentally Disabled"
I would know because I work with them

Rolled 5

>>20992514
Talk to the captain about our destination.

>>20992569
It's "Special Needs" where I'm from.

>>20992527
You bow low and long.
>>20992533
"And so, Hydra decreed that all moral agents acting within a non-viscus vacuum must pledge themselves and ought to understand the privileged of his might."

Some clap, others don't know what to do.
>>20992541
Hydra needs no coin.
>>20992538
You spin, peace sign, and moonwalk into the cabin of the captain.
>>20992575
"I'm afraid my master didn't tell me where we'd be making landfall, can you tell me where?"

>"We're docking at the port of good faith. I know where you're heading, it's 20 miles south of Kerm."

Well that's good.

>>20992540
And I have to write this stuff, if anyone I knew read my work they'd want to institutionalize me.

What do you do now?

>>20992601
See what Erik's doing. Wait, no, he's probably reading some porn.

Hmm... I dunno. Time-skip till we get to the shore? We could hang around the sailors and tell stories and whatnot. I bet we have a lot of stories to tell.

Rolled 6

>>20992601
Check on Erik. Let's hope he's reading spell books this time.

>>20992601
We should work with Erik so we can BOTH learn some magic. Also we need to make sure he stays on task.

>>20992623
You decide to meet with the sailors. You head below decks and you spot her.

You stride over behind her, there you stand, towering above her unguarded form.

You lean down, and will all the influence your god has bestowed, you whisper

"Clarice..." in her ear like the great Kracken himself.

Everyone in the room turns to the screams of the wizard girl, Mark and Adrian are up and preparing to attack you, but they see who it is and know they'd better not.

Before you sits Clarice, Mark, and Adrian.

What do you do?

>>20992601

Knock knock
>"Are you decent Eric? I'm coming in!"

>>20992654

"Hai guise, what's going on? I am the bone of my fish, lol!"

Rolled 15

>>20992654
I roll to seduce

Rolled 4

>>20992654
Roll to seduce.

>>20992654
"So Mr. Paladin of Hates all Undead, feel like converting?"

Rolled 8

>>20992674
I second that

>>20992674
The only way you'd seduce Clarice after all you've done to her is to roll 10,000/10,000.

>>20992681
"Do you wish to convert to Hydra?"

>"No, go away. We're on important business."

"Oh really?"

>"Yes, we've been charged to liberate Kerm for our failings in dealing with you..."

What do you do?

>>20992654

We say french stuff to Clarice. It worked for Stumbles!

>>20992654
Ask the paladin about using paladin powers. Its been a while, our memory's rusty. Also, point out how we're a paladin now. And the lord of the dance. Demonstrate.

Rolled 4601

>>20992697
Can we woo her with dance skills?

Rolled 99

>>20992701
im loving every moment of this

>>20992697
"Oh what a coincidence!"

"Fate always brings us together, Clarice. This is surely sign."

troll her further

Rolled 5903

>>20992701
We don't even know what those powers are, for all we know, we could sprout prehensile tentacles out of our ass

Rolled 2822

>>20992739
seduce her with our hypothetical tentacles

Rolled 2267

>>20992761
No. That's not seducing. I refuse to support that action.

>>20992713
By Lord Hydra!

Through the medium of dance you explain your story after they left. You don't leave out a single detail.

After the show has ended, and you've wound up with a bouquet of flowers,

>>20992728

You hand them to Clarice and say
"Fate brings us together once more, mona mi, it's a sign."

She's sobbing into Adrian's arm at the sound of your voice. Adrian, being the beta third wheel, is still recovering from your dance story and oblivious to Clarice.

>>20992761
>>20992739
You have no tentacles.

And you haven't hit 10,000/10,000. At the moment, Clarice will be forever out of your grasp.

What do you do?

Rolled 1030

>>20992728
Indeed.
Let's be as discustingly polite and engaging as possable. Ignore any signs that they might not want to talk.

Also, rollan for sedusin

Rolled 9

>>20992780
>Clarice will be forever out of your grasp
I do not like the ring of that. I shall come up with a plan that you will not thwart, sooner or later, oh mysterious narrator.

Rolled 5

>>20992739
We don't have an ass. Skeleton, remember? We may be able to sprout tentacles out of our tail bone though.

Rolled 3170

>>20992780
We be polite to clarice. If we can not seduce, then we shall woo. HYDRA DEMANDS IT!

Rolled 7996

>>20992801
Pelvises (pelvii?) definitely have a giant hole in the middle

Rolled 2247

>>20992803
Onward, to awkward wooings and waky misunderstandings!
Wait, that actualy sounds horrible, nevermind.

Rolled 835

>>20992780

Rolling for love.

Rolled 6

>>20992780
Well, if she hates us, then the only logical solution is to disguise our self as a living person and re-attempt our seduction without the need for a 10,000/10,000

Alright, enough seduction rolls for now. Brute forcing it won't work. Going to have to woo her the slow way with gifts and saving her life while she's in danger. We are going to the same place after all.

>>20992784
>>20992799
>>20992801
>>20992803
>>20992818
>>20992827
>>20992832

Ah, come the fuck on. Stop it.
It is much funnier that she rejects our advances. Actually seducing her would be awkward as fuck and not fun at all.

Rolled 2290

>>20992832
love is not rolled for my friend, it is won over slowly. if harassing her increases what we need to roll, we must do things to overcome the obstacles we have made for ourselves

>>20992780

"ADRIAN. TELL ME YOUR BACKSTORY AND PERSONALITY OR FOREVER BE AN UNINTERESTING ELF WITH A BOW. YOU HAVE 20 SECONDS GO GO GO!"

Rolled 2210

>>20992851
Dude, are you looking at these rolls.
We got a couple of single digits on a d10000.
She's gonna have PTSD by the time this trip is over.

>>20992780
We must talk to her alone and offer a sincere apology later. These shenanigans aren't very paladin. There isn't even the whole "misunderstood" thing on our side.

>>20992803
Hydra is the god of the deep, but I'm the god of this universe.
>>20992799
You will never outplot me.

You engage in pleasant conversation with Mark, ignoring Clarice's sobbing and Adrian's constant questioning about your dance skills.

"So why did you come on this ship, and not join with Gaius? He's going there too. Seems like everyone is going to find some glory or treasure."

>"Gaius and I don't see eye to eye."

"Explain."

>"Hrm. Fine. I think he's too merciful to evil. I'd destroy half that army with smite evil, while he's give them stable jobs and health benefits. Monsters don't deserve mercy."

You raise your eyebrow bone him.

>"There are exceptions."

"There's a good chap."

You stoke the side of Clarice's face.

"I just hope you three don't get hurt out here... It's not like Roland's keep where old Daniel can come to the rescue..."

Mark goes red at this jab at his skill.

What do you do

>>20992851
He's too beta, forget it. He'll just stammer about some incoherent shit and we'll turn to more important matters because god damn, not even the undead have enough patience to deal with guys like him.

>>20992865
>"Well, I'm the son of Adrin, son of Ardun, son of Ardim. And I was sent here to restore my family's hono-"

"BORING."

>>20992877
Oh man, I feel sorry for these adventurers.

Rolled 9899

>>20992877
Ok, random face-stroking is a little creepy.
Actualy that's a lot creepy. We should stop that.

>>20992877
Laugh, and inform him that we'll still watch his back. His group has made life interesting for you, and if nothing else, death certainly makes you appreciate life.

>>20992868
Actually, that was me with d20 still on =P

>>20992905
Hey, does that count for something?

Rolled 2776

>>20992905
SO......CLOSE

>>20992877
Eh, banter a bit more. Or train the paladin to be our henchman or "rival" in his eyes. Slowly convert him into an undead loving paladin. Not romantically, but just liking the fuck out of us.

Rolled 7891

>>20992868
I just want to try rolling a die this massive...
>>20992877
I say we finish with these enjoyable rubes and find Erik, take away his porn and learn up some magic.

>>20992905
That's scary how close you were.

>>20992915
No

You tell Mark that you'll cover him and his companions if they want. And you'll try to restrain yourself with Clarice.

Mark thanks you for the offer, and will think about the repercussions of it.

What do you do?

>>20992921
Agreed

>>20992932
Am I the only one thinking it's weird that a undead paladin of the deep is trying to dual class into a wizard?