First of all, look up our inventory. Now that we are on our own, we're going to need weapons to defend ourselves, and preferably get some training.

File: 1348272761680.jpg-(102 KB, 533x720, 46346357.jpg)

Inventory:
1x Cloth Blouse [E]
1x Leather Boots [E]
1x Woolen Trousers [E]
1x Pointy Stick [E]

You grab a pointy stick from the ground, looking up to realize an angry looking soldier is charging towards you, he's in full chainmail and wielding a longsword and a shield.

Duck and cover.

Hide.

File: 1348273414270.jpg-(143 KB, 375x500, 43634637.jpg)

rolled 89 = 89

What gender are we?

spent all night hiding in the cow shit

>>20815110
drop that shit and run, and hide in cow shit

also, what the fuck happened to consensus vote?

You dive behind one of the nearby carts, and as the soldier approaches the cart you crawl under it and begin crawling out the other side. He walked behind the cart to see that you aren't there, looking confused, he begins looking around in the general area. You stand up on the other side and start running, you look behind you to see that he is still looking around stupidly.

You can hear the cries of your mother as one of the soldiers slit her throat, that said it was difficult to tell if it really was *your* mother considering that there were many screams and crying in the midnight air. The flames dancing like sorrowful ballerinas. You see that infront of you is a patch of woods, if you were to keep running you could escape...But in doing so you would forsake the safety of your family, or at least what remains of it.

What did you do?

>>20815276
Male.

>>20815324
Continue into the woods, dying at the beginning of this kid's life would defeat the purpose, no?

>>20815324
I am 75% sure that this is an enchanted forest, and running into it is a trap.
Let's do it anyways.

>>20815324
abandon all we know, take up life in the forest. maybe we can hunt down those responsible later.

rolled 75 = 75

It's what we are.

rolled 22 = 22

Sup Angry just wondering if your going to continue the gentlemanly adventures of the machine men.

File: 1348274829583.jpg-(65 KB, 432x648, 5474574687.jpg)

You run into the forest, abandoning your former life, hoping to forget your parents and your friends forever. This is what they wanted, they would want you to run! What would be the point of dying now, trying to defend something that's already ruined...That's what you told yourself as you ran, salty tears streaming down your face.

Luckily it would seem noone noticed you, you run for about a mile and a half, the forest is quite thick here, and you're reduced to a light jog to avoid running into any trees. It's really late in the night and you're getting tired...

We are now survivorman.

What did you do?

>>20815602
I posted up a thread last friday, nobody else posted, died, going to start up a new civ game on saturday...Wee! I'm going to have a schedule now!

>>20815606
Find a clearing make ourselves a shelter

>>20815621
Fuck my life, now I feel responsible ;_;

>>20815606
do we know what lives here? if there are predators, we may want to climb a tree or something

>>20815606
Do we know of any towns nearby?
If we do, we should try and get to one of them before we freeze/starve to death.

>>20815606
Continue running until we fall asleep.

I don't want to lie down and let myself think about what happened.

File: 1348275628881.jpg-(202 KB, 760x596, 1336417499664.jpg)

We just watched an army destroy everything we knew in life I say we forgive them all.

File: 1348275881468.jpg-(170 KB, 1024x768, 7457487.jpg)

You keep walking forward, trying to find an open clearing while thinking about your situation. Predators come in the form of wolves, bears, and coyotes. Stranger than them you heard stories of snow trolls that come out at night to eat sleeping creatures, and snow goblins that come out to loot and kill intruders, but you think you'll be safe for at least tonight. Indeed it is a snow wonderland outside, most of the continent is like this, so sleeping unprotected will undoubtetly be a bad idea. You can think of several close villages. There is Roh to the north, Yelan to the south, and Jeu to the east, all about a day's travel on foot. Eventually you find a small clearing where you may be able to build a makeshift shelter.

>>20815814
We should take shelter, then head east.

>>20815814
Let's get to shelter-building, then.
If we make it through the night, I vote for Yelan. Or maybe Roh.

>>20815814
>>20815852
Let's go to Yelan. Let's go southwards until it's warm and sunny. Destitution should be less trying under the sun.

File: 1348277435005.png-(12 KB, 800x600, 5234636.png)

(Red dot is our location.)

Since Yelan is quite a ways away, you decide to take shelter while you can and hopefully recover some of your energy...You build a small lean-to and insolate it with leaves, you barely get any sleep. When you get up in the morning you find that you're shivering. You begin jogging towards Yalen. Your stomach rumbles, you're hungry. There isn't much in the means of game out here, berries and fruits is usually what the northern towns survive on. There is a specific berry that grows rampant out here, it's purple and small, they're called Alberries and they have a sweet taste. However there is another berry that looks just like it that is poisonous, the only difference being their leaves...Yet memory fails you as to what their leaves are supposed to look like. You come across one of these bushes, your stomach rumbles viloently, begging for you to eat the delicious looking berries.

What did you do?

>>20816131
Don't eat the berries.

It never ends well.

>>20816131
Eat the berries.

It has about a 50% chance of ending well.

File: 1348279157611.jpg-(104 KB, 613x533, 1316362720618.jpg)

>>20816295
>>20816257
It seems as though we have come to an impasse.

>>20816131
pick some berries and a few leaves, keep them until you manage to remember/find someone who does know

File: 1348279768763.png-(9 KB, 800x600, 45983496.png)

You pick off a few berries and some leaves and, after realizing you don't have a good place to put it in, shove it into your shallow pocket, hoping that they aren't squished while you jog. Eventually, near evening, you find a broken down carriage with some wounded aristocrats and a few soldiers. They seem wary of you.

What do you do?

>>20816550
approach, showing your hands. maybe they can help us. or kill us for carrying poison to use on them in their sleep. sounds good to me

Hail them as we approach. Stop a distance away with our hands in a gesture of peace to show we aren't just going to muscle in on them. Politely request shelter and any spare food they might have.

File: 1348280736644.jpg-(365 KB, 1024x768, 1316267460350.jpg)

rolled 88 = 88

File: 1348281164302.jpg-(852 KB, 1280x948, 57457468.jpg)

You approach with your hands up, slowly and politely with a smile on your face. One of the soldiers hails you, "You there! Who are you? What is your business here?"
"Just a traveller, sir, i'm down on my luck and would ask for some shelter, or maybe some food. What happened to your group, if I may ask?"
"We were attacked by bandits, we can't exactly run away since we have so few men to hold them back, they're simple waiting us out until we're too weak to fight. I suppose we could offer you a few scraps of food..." He whispers to you, "If you promise to take out the bandit's leader if they approach you."
You gladly accept, having no intention of doing any such thing. You take the few slices of bread and scarf them down before heading on your merry way. After a few minutes of walking a scruffy looking man wearing leather armor and wielding an axe tackles puts a net bag over your head and knocks you out...

The next thing you remember is being in a bandit camp, five other bandits infront of you, the biggest and meanest looking one approaches you, "You, they seem to trust you. You will go and set fire to their wagon, cause commotion, allow us to kill them quickly. Or else we will kill you."

What did you do?

Are we, like, tied up or anything?

Also, why would the bandits want the wagons on fire? Then there'd be nothing left to steal.

>>20816782
comply. ask if they have a torch, or if the berries we are carrying are poisonous. if they are, offer to poison the group so they have loot instead of a burnt wagon

"Why would you want to burn the wagon? Then all your loot would be gone."
"You ask too many questions, you're not in the position to be asking."
You hand them your berries, "Are these poisonous? I've been carrying them around for awhile..." He looks at them and grins,
"Yes, they are."
"How about I use these to poison them instead."
"Haha, I like the way you think! Fine then, if you can poison them that'll even be better."
You walk out fromt he camp and back to the wagon. You should probably prepare what you're going to say to allow you to sneak some poison berries into their food...

What did you do?

>>20816909
ok, so we have found some berries that have mild medicinal properties. do NOT show the leaves. offer them to the aristocrats first, then the soldiers. tell them it'll make them numb to pain and give them a slight vigor boost.

rolled 3 = 3

Persuasion. . .

>>20817092
>rolled 3 = 3
Welp.

You approach the caravan once more, stating that you had found some medicinal berries down the road and would like to help return their favor by gifting them with the berries. As if they had seen right through you the soldiers draw their swords, "Something is wrong here. How could a serf like you obtain medicinal knowledge? Surrender peacefully so that we can restrain you, you're going to come with us so we can interrogate you, as soon as we be rid of these bandits." They begin approaching you...

What do you do?

I dunno, I feel like aiding the soldiers. Tell them discreetly how 5 to 1 wasn't good odds, and you managed to escape with the proviso that you should poison them. Advise them to feign weakness and stomachaches later tonight and hatch a plan to catch the bandits in a trap.

Could go wrong, but I feel like being good-aligned today.

>>20807159
Curse my slowpokeness.

Hey, we've had ample time to learn from our elders about the indigenous plants that-

Wait, since when the hell did they come to the conclusion that we were a serf?

>>20817132
Im going to go with "Back away slowly, keeping an eye out for flanks. Try to come up with some sort of story as to why we know about berries."

You back away...Slowly. "Look, sir's, i've lived in these forests all my life, of course i'd know about the indigenous plants! And how did you come to the conclusion that i'm a serf?!" The two soldiers approach more,
"Nobody but a serf would wear those scummy clothes!..Hmm..I'm not sure I still believe you, most village folk are too dumb to learn things like herbalism."
You back away some more trying to reassure them that you're just trying to help. They eventually give up and sheath their swords, "Fine, but let's see YOU eat one of the berries first."

What do you do?

>>20817589
Look around for berries of the same color that are not poisonous. As you now know what the poisonous leaf looks like, should be simple to find one of the other ones. Just walk over and say "Oh, heres some more" and then eat a handful of them.

>>20817631
You look around...There are no berry bushes in sight. Plus it would be suspicious to grab some foreign berries and shove them in your mouth as opposed to eating one of the berries in your hand...

Swallow the berry whole (so we don't release the juices) while rolling our eyes in exasperation. Pass them the berries and say that this is the last time you'll ever go out of your way for them. Stay if they ask you to. Beg off to use the bushes later and stick finger down throat to induce vomiting.

You swallow the berry whole, rolling your eyes and sighing, "This is the last damn time i'm helping any of you rich folks." They have you wait a few minutes, and then finally give in and eat the berries. You bid them farewell and they thank you, you run behind a tree a few dozen meters away and make yourself vomit. You puke out some body fluids, and bread that they gave you, and the berry. You sigh heavily, relieved that the berry's poisons weren't digested. You are once again pulled away by a bandit, this time you go willingly. They applaud you for your work and they offer you a place among them, they offer protection, food, pay, and fellowship.

>>20817842
Say we have to go, but ask for any help they can provide for our trip.

Accept, of course. We didn't go through all that for nothing.

Am I the only one watching this now? And I was the slowpoke. Perhaps this should be postponed till there are more people online?

>>20817842
Agree, take some armor and weapons, make a day pack and say its to travel, and get some medical stuff. At night, offer to take watch, then slit the leaders throat while they sleep, steal some moneys and run.

>>20817927
Pfft never mind.

You accept, keeping in mind the possibility of killing the leader and taking some loot for yourself, in all honesty you didn't want to be part of a bandit clan. They give you some armor, a sword, a pack, some food, and some micsallaneous items.

Later that day, at the fall of night they allow you to help finish off the aristocrats and the soldiers, you also get a fair share of loot from everything. The bandit leader tells you that their main goal was to kill the aristocrats for a rivalling lord, and that soon they would return to get a handsome reward. You offer to take the night watch to which they gladly accept, you hear whisperings as they eat and fall to sleep,
"I like this new guy!"
"Yeah he's really cool!"
"He won't possibly slit our throats while we sleep!"
"Haha, yeah, he's too much of a bro to do that."

Inventory:
1x Medium Backpack [E]
1x Leather Boots [E]
1x Leather Cuirass [E]
1x Leather Gloves [E]
1x Leather Breeches [E]
1x Leather Boots [E]
1x Steel Short Sword [E]
1x Buckler [E]
2x Loaf of Bread
1x 15ft Rope
1x Cloth Blouse
1x Leather Boots
1x Woolen Trousers

What do you do?

BE A BRO.

Also, locate pointed stick. She was our first weapon, and shall remain ever by our side. Also a good walking stick.

>>20818071
Nah, slit the leader's throat.

And then become the new leader.

>>20818071
What they least expect, EXATLY WHAT THEY EXPECT! KILL MURDER LOOT! Report there deaths to the town, say you found the caravan dead, become hero.

>>20818167
This.

Kill them = 2
Be a bro = 2

You realize that the noble who hired them is going to kill them once they report back.

>>20818180
>>20818198
You guys are going to get us killed, I swear.

Also, we're pretty weak, so becoming their leader by assassination won't work since we can't rule by force, and the only reason they like us now is due to our broness.

>>20818198
This yes

>>20818302
Yes, but the kill votes are distinctly different. One is kill and become their leader; the other is kill them all, claim rewards. They're utterly incompatible.

>>20818344
Thats not the plan. The plan is to kill them all and report it, becoming a hero. Plus loots

>>20818364
Goddammit.

>>20818386
I was referring to >>20818180 with that specific comment. Sorry if it wasn't clear.

I also suspect people will be suspicious of our ability to take down a handful of bandits on our own without any help In a morally honest fashion, thus throwing aspersions on our honour. Also, serfs are uneducated, unskilled, etc, etc discrimination.

>>20818484
We have armour now, how will they know that were not an addventurer?

>>20818372
They're compatible as far as KILLING THEM. We'll stop and declare a vote after that...Anyways..

In the dead of night you stealthily walk over to the leaders sleeping body and unsheath your short sword, as carefully and silently as you can you plunge it into his throat, twisting it violently as to not allow any noise to escape from his mouth. After a few seconds he goes limp, he is dead.

What do you do?

>>20818518

Bray like a donkey and jump around like an asshole.

>>20818542
I second this.

>>20818542
>>20818552
Get out.

>>20818542
>>20818552
I give up.

>>20818518

No one has woken up yet, we should kill the rest of them and pick through their stuff for the best gear and loot. It's not like they're going to wake up and magically make us leader once they see the boss is dead. Also, I can't imagine there will be any real question of whodunnit.

>>20818518
Kill the rest silently. Then loot. If they wake/are awake just say you were checking, knife in the throat while there backs are turned.

rolled 20, 47, 22, 84 = 173

One for each bandit. . .

In any case, since we're committed, repeat for everyone else as stealthily as possible.

This quest seems rather good at going in the exact opposite direction as I vote. It's really quite astounding. We've now double-crossed both the groups that have had potential to help us out. Are we aiming for the chaotic evil route? If so, I need to change my mindset.

You start to systematically kill each one with a discreet and determined stab to the throat, you manage to kill two before the other two wake up from a few muffled screams. They jump to their feet and look at you, "BRO, HOW COULD YOU?! BRO!!!" They scream at you as they dash towards you with tear-filled eyes, the dead bodies of their comrads laying all around them. You helped them and befriended them only to cut their throats in the dead of night, and yet you call them monsters. You currently have two leather armored bandits rushing towards you, one with double axes and another with a longsword.

What do you do?

>>20818689
Neutral, maybe chaotic neutral. We care about ourselfs.

>>20818672
And judging from all our dice rolls so far, we cannot into Chaotic Evil. Leaving this one up to you guys.

>>20818689

Honestly, I came in after the bandit leader was already dead and said "Fuck it, might as well finish the job then."

rolled 60 = 60

>>20818708
Parrie one and cut his neck, kick the other in the balls.

>>20818710
We had already established a rapport with the bandits. They would have provided for and protected their "bro". Killing them was not a sensible decision if we wanted to look out for ourselves.

rolled 70 = 70

>>20818772
We get the loot and the hero title when we get to town, whats not to like?

rolled 23, 92 = 115

Parry, ball kick.

The swordsman lunges at you, bringing his longsword down towards your left shoulder, his whole weight under the blow. You bring your short sword under his and swipe at his sword to knock it off balance, however your swipe does nothing, his longsword pushing right through yours and slicing into your shoulder deep, undoubetly slicing many muscles and tendons, you can no longer move your left arm. He tries to thrust his sword into your gut but you tactfully sidestep to the right and avoid it, the dual axe-wielding bandit slashes at you wildly, you step back with each swipe, barely out of his reach. Just as you were about to run out of space to back up you notice his legs are spread out widely. You grin devilishly and plant your foot right in the poor guys groin, you must've anihilated his nutsack because he simply turned blue and fell down crying. The swordsman is now coming at you with full force.

What do you do?

>>20818803
See >>20818484. We're one man. People probably won't believe that we managed to take them down ourselves, or at least that we did it honourably. We've seen the discrimination we face from the caravan earlier. Unless, of course, we want to march into town wearing the bandits' armour. At best they pat us on the back and read us some empty platitudes. At worst they put us on trial when they call our bullshit.

rolled 71 = 71

>>20818895
Trip him, stomp our foot through his head. Also,they dont sleep in there armor right? how did they get it on that fast?

>>20818935
When you're a bandit. . .

You don't give a fuck.

>>20818895
Sprint up close and get in close. Shortsword FTW. Stab him in the guts.

rolled 26 = 26

>>20819069
Roll if you want it nigga.

>>20819088
DM's rolling on this one bro. Up there in the OP.

rolled 44, 37, 3 = 84

Stomping, evading, stabbing.

rolled 84 = 84

>>20819109
Fuck it, I seek the blessings of the dice gods in cutting this mans head off!

You stomp the fallen axeman's head in, killing him without question. You then duck down to avoid the swordsman's horrozontal slash, but he manages to cut your scalp pretty badly. With his torso exposed you rush in with your short sword and attempt to drive your sword into his torso, however you did not aim it well enough and the tip swerves off to his his right side, not even piercing his armor. He grins and knees you in the stomach, causing you to stumble back before he punches you in the face, causing you to fall on your ass. You scramble to your feet and back away, blood soaking the left side of your face. With only one arm and a few more good minutes of fight left in you...

What do you do?

rolled 20, 14 = 34

>>20819169
"Is that a three-headed monkey behind you?"

rolled 2 = 2

>>20819169
Cut off his dick in a awesome gory fashion. Then gouge his eyes out with our thumbs.

rolled 65 = 65

We can't move the arm, but can we still grip things with our left hand?

Hurl pointed stick at face as a feint to get within his effective reach and gut him with the short sword.

>>20819169

Wait for him to attack this time. If he brings the sword up high for a wide arc to slice our skull open, lunge forward to stab him in the gut. If he goes to stab, wait for him to start to move: Roll over to the side away from his chosen stabbing arm, and swing with our good arm hoping to hit his neck while we roll. It's not much, but we're kind of in a shit situation anyway.

>>20819169
Whip some berryjuice/sand into his eyes then stab under his ribs with the pointy stick, using a jerking/twisting motion.

rolled = 0

Stick.

rolled 22 = 22

>>20819287
Wat. I dont even know how you...

File: 1348294706291.jpg-(33 KB, 500x281, 575478.jpg)

You hurl your pointed stick, which you have named Excalibur, at the enemy bandit.
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAlztMvvNkk]
Only now do you realize that the stick is actually magical, it eminates a strange energy, for some reason you recognize it. It's...It's spiral energy. The stick transforms into a brown wooden drill, it multiplies it's size with each milisecond until it becomes the size of a meteor, a small handle protruding from the back, inviting your hand to hold you. You drop your short sword and grab the handle as it begins to rotate incredibly fast.

"GIGA, STICK BREAAAAAAKERRR!!!!"
You shout as the colossal wooden drill utterly anihilated the swordsman from existence. You black out, the next thing you know you're back where you were, with noone there to kill you. In your wake is four corpses and a camp full of some swanky loot. However Excalibur has vanished.

>>20819346
Well. I think we just won. Good job everybody.

rolled 78 = 78

>>20819346
..ok. Lets take loot and head to town.

I TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT POINTED STICK BRO I TOLD YOU

Thanks man, that was hilarious.

Anyways...I'm going to bed, guess this won't be a one-shot like I promised. Next thread thomorrow around 18:00 where I can hopefully wrap this up by violently murdering the protagonist.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=angrydorf

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