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Of course, every so often, we stumble on a demon. These creatures are considered by many of us old guard as a veritable treasure trove because one of the things they leave behind on their death is sulphur, the only ingredient to gunpowder we can’t readily get our hands on, in addition to the fact that such creatures usually guard a larger pile of more mundane treasures. It always struck me as a bit odd that someone would use one of these things to guard something since the only way to deal with them is to just kill the bastards. They never try to talk, they just go straight for the kill, sometimes succeeding, I’m ashamed to say. I’ve lost many a young recruit to such creatures, usually because they either couldn’t get their shield up in time or were, to put it nicely, too gung ho for their own good, trying to take the creature on their own.

While I have seen several examples over the years, the two varieties that stand out as the most common were a large, brutish type wielding a massive stone hammer, though one that does make an excellent building material if you can find a way to drag it back home, and another, comparatively leaner type with horns, a rat-skull head, and two giant swords, bowed outwards to cruel points. I have fought and killed many of the beasts in my time, and while they became almost routine after a while since the poor brutes never seemed to learn much in ways of combat innovation, which was just as well considering how many recruits I lost to them, I never thought it necessary to teach how to deal with them.

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A foolish decision in hindsight, but it was very rare that one was ever encountered during training missions, and unless you went near a volcano you weren’t likely to see one. I was usually focusing more on dealing with the multitude of other threats out there, something I had one of the more roguish members of our order help in teaching, giving them at least a basic understanding of using a knife to check for or even disarm traps in doors and chests. Such things kill more people than demons ever could, after all, or so I thought.


It wasn’t until after I lost 3 recruits to one of the rat-headed ones that I made it a point to include demon-killing tactics, which I considered odd since dealing with them was simpler than dealing with, say, giants, who could stand 20 feet or better, yet they seemed to have little trouble taking one down. Perhaps it was the primal fear of the beast that made them hesitate. Such things are certainly un nerving the first few times, but a strong shield-arm and a strong will goes a long way, as does leaning that armor does not make you invincible, something most people don’t learn until it’s too late, and then I have to explain to our quartermaster, who is always in such good humor, why there is a gaping, blood-caked hole in the hauberk that was, until recently, in the possession of recruit such and such. I swear, turning gear back in to that man is harder than telling the lad’s family how he died sometimes.

-excerpt from The Knight-Sergeant’s Tale

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>>20780117
Bread recipe incoming! Straight from the "Betty Crocker, New and Revised Edition" cookbook of 1950! Extra tips below.

When Kneading the bread, put some flour on your hands to prevent the dough from sticking to them, and remember to flour the surface you're kneading it on.

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>>20786769
If the room is less than 73˚F, or the bread will not rise noticeably within an hour and a half, put the bowl in the oven set at 100˚F

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>>20786808
BTW, bread dough feels awesome. It's like edible play-doh, but more flexible.

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>>20786857

>>20786808

I learned that bit the first time I tried making bread. My house is like a refrigerator.

>>20786240
>>20786432
>>20786439
While you present a good argument, Sir Dustyn, there are a few things I would like to point out.

For one, the tactics we are trying to work around were made to counter those of our enemy, historically speaking at least, and only lack a ready supply of gunpowder to make our force truly potent.

Also, your example of how to deal with someone with a gun was...disturbing to say the least. One would hope a knight would know better than to entertain such thoughts.

We're at 12 already?
Fuck, my last-read one was 5. I didn't get to continue halfway because some of the writing was really fucking crappy and made me do other things.

>>20787012
Historically speaking those tactics were also used with much larger forces. As stated, the absolute most we could probably bring the the field would be around 1000 soldiers. Compared with that being the probably minimum of any army we might face. Even if we outnumbered the enemy 3 to 1 I wouldn't want to face them in open battle. Why meet them on even term when you can be as underhanded as you want and gain even ore superiority over him. There is a reason armies don't use these tactics anymore, it's because they are a waste of lives and other things work better.

While honor and chivalry are all good and dandy off the battlefield, if you think they belong there, then you need to get your head out of your ass. Once again, there is a reason that stuff died out. The only thing honor is going to get you in a fight with someone who doesn't give two shits about it becasue he really want to kill you, is dead. The "moral high ground" is nothing but a tiny hill compared to the mountain that is using any and all tactics available to you to win.

>>20787381
I believe we seem to have differing ideas as to what open battle is. I view it as forcing my enemy to do battle in an area best suited to my style, in our case, likely using our infantry as bait to draw them out and use cavalry to break their flanks.

Such battle is ultimately unavoidable, and preferable if the alternative is to sit in our castle waiting to starve.

>>20787612
Open battle is any battle in which you send organized military units to do battle with his forces. Perhaps I should use the more correct term: Conventional Warfare. While your tactics are sound, they are not the best option. It has been proven time and time again that guerrilla warfare is the superior method for s smaller force to combat a larger foe.

Flanking attacks only work if you can either A: completely crush your enemy with a single attack (something our small force can not do) or B: follow up with a conventional attack. (which again our small force can't really do)

Until the time comes comes that an enemy force has been worn down to the point where such things are possible, it is highly inadvisable to attempt conventional warfare with superior armies.

>>20787768

Gorilla warfare.

>>20787867
Are you trying to tell me that I'm using the wrong word? Because I'm not. Or are you trying to say that we should weaponize Gorillas?

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>>20787979
>weaponize Gorillas
Why not?
It's not as crazy as some of the things wizards have weaponized, after all.

>>20788023
I'm pretty sure it's canon that the Harem Knights made an automatic shovel launcher that ended horrifyingly/hilariously.
I wouldn't put it past us.

Its nice how you discuss military tactics and army organization when your nation's biggest and only victory was a disorganized horde rushing like a pack of hungry rats in a cheese storage facility.
please don't forget how to be wild, Harem Knights. decadence is just a step beyond civilization.

To any parents looking to teach their kids about Outrealmer culture: I have many good books on the subject. Greek mythology however, is not an appropriate subject for children. I don’t need any more crying kids in my library, and so I suggest you pick a more appropriate subject.

>>20788083
There was the elves as well.

(Now my modem chooses to crap out!)

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>>20788162
I was always of the impression that we'd take heroes from various games and such, and present those as our legends and heroes.

>GATHER ROUND CHILDREN, LET ME TELL YOU THE TALE OF COMMISSAR FUKLAW

if no one has done anything on it yet, I figured I'd make something involving Harbinger and the gnolls. Going along with the 'feral savages' approach than 'evil'.

>>20788162
...What about Chen the Black Cat of ill Omens?

>>20788529
Have a go, I don't think anyone's done anything yet.

>>20788263
Why not both?

>>20788162
Greek and Roman mythology and culture are the foundation of western society, and thus the most basic foundation of ours. I think we should merely present them with the more "lighthearted" myths at first.

And I'm back for round 12. Lets write about more guard training!

For the longest time I wasn’t even aware the gnolls even existed. Only recently it was bought to my attention, that those lands to the south were not empty wastelands. My curiosity piqued, I decided to set out and observe these things. My experiment this time was to see if these feral semi-bipeds could be tamed, and possibly fulfill some role in society.

At the behest of my peers and dozens of complaints from influential knights, I have opted to try and keep invasive procedures to a minimum. Operative word there being ‘try’. My chosen has been a valley, with two different Gnoll cackles overlooking each other on opposite ends. I had set up camp at the very edges of where the two mark their territory, making it an interesting spot. The Gnolls are very aware of my presence, and have tried an attempt on my life, but some applied magic, combined with how close I would put each side to its rival, convinced them I am not worth the effort. My experiments began with the Left Valley Cackle I decided to call the Laughing Clan because the signature cackle they make is open mouthed, bearing their teeth and that their group has a surprising 50+ gnolls. Whereas the Right Valley Cackle I call the Giggle Pack because they do it with their teeth clenched, and their group is much smaller, about 30 or so.

My first contact with the Laughing clan was through a low ranked female I’ll call Inkblot because of the odd spot pattern on her face. With the steady offerings of meat, and patience I wasn’t aware I had, Inkblot eventually accepted my presence and no longer ran when seeing me approach. This action reverberated throughout the clan, and other gnolls came around for the prospect of free food. Which I gave. Many times I would go hunting for my meal. Very large animals, surprisingly large, lived out here. This should be the object of another investigation how such large…things could survive in such an inhospitable land. These things were bigger than humans. Bigger than gnolls. I’m getting off track again. More often than not half the…whatever animal it was I couldn’t stomach. The gnolls didn’t seem to care and gladly snapped up whatever I threw out. After about two months of observations and feeding, many of these gnolls split off from the clan and began to lounge around my campsite instead. I began training them with simple phrases, such as “No”, “Come here”, and “Shut up!”, positively reinforcing proper reactions with extra food, and punishing wrong actions(ignoring me, fighting with each other), by not feeding them at all. The negative reinforcement was more effective, as I would punish all of them for the misbehaving of one, which in turn made the entire pack turn on that individual to make sure it did not happen again. For the most part, they are docile, though I can still see the savageness in the back of their eyes. They only do this because I feed them. It will take several generations of selective breeding to weed that out. Inkblot seems to be the most docile of them all, probably because of her low rank. That doesn’t make me pick favorites though, she has done her fair share of misbehaving, like humping my tent…I slept outside that night.

The luring away of her clan and my training of course attracted the attention of the matriarch of the laughing clan, a giant specimen around six feet tall when standing upright. She wasn’t though, she was hunched over and letting a low giggle come from the back of her throat. From watching other gnolls compete for my scraps, I watching their routine behavior, I could safely say she was trying to make me kowtow to her. I refused. I really ‘tried’ this time, and you’ll be pleased to know that eventually she will recover…eventually. The matriarch, who I will call Stupid, since she was stupid enough to fight me twice, was stripped of her position in the cackle and the gnolls of the Laughing clan seemed to all come around my camp. This was not exactly what I wanted. I was simply hoping to train a small pack, possibly using them as trained attack dogs, but more lethal, not managing and training an entire clan. It was more problematic due to the movement of the Laughing Clan was perceived as a threat by the Giggle Pack.

The Giggle Pack matriarch, who I call Really Stupid, sparked an all-out Gnoll war as the two cackles tore into each other. To ensure that SIX MONTHS of study and training were not thrown down the drain, I waded into the scrum and applied a thorough application of blunt trauma to the worst offenders and the fighting spirit quickly dissipated from both cackles. The Laughing Clan cowed because they knew I would not feed them tonight and the Giggle pack because… well…because I’m me, I know how to instill fear. Now I had a small army of gnolls camping outside my tent, urinating and defecating on everything. Time of experiment has been delayed from eight months to…indefinite.

Incidentally, I'm still reading through the last thread.

Concerning Jay Dubya's mentions of the Holstauri measuring system, I offer this link.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smoot

It was a long year and I am getting sick of seeing gnolls. Everywhere I go, it’s a damn gnoll. Every day I am traing all these damn gnolls. Every day more damn gnolls are being born.

Stupid, stupid damn gnolls!

I am starting to really hate gnolls.

However there is a positive glimmer amongst all this. The gnolls are finally starting to learn properly. The younger generation is easier to teach, because they only learn what I teach their parents, and thus are more susceptible to what I teach. Hopefully I can get these gnolls to obey complex phrases like “Go kill that elf”.

>>20789094

I must say I like this way of seeing the gnolls most. From the discussions in the earlier thread I figured they were either going to be an evil race that we kill on site or they were going to be a race of animals that were too savage to really do anything with in a story other than "I fuckin hate gnolls"

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>>20789170
Haven't seen your name around here before. You a new writefag?

Also, what's the status on Kobolds?

>>20789370

I was the Anon last thread that said I would be joining. Been lurking since the first thread but only now have gotten the courage to join in.

Ill be putting my story up in a couple of hours, need to tweak it a bit more.

as for Kobolds, we have Lamias, Kanin, Felim, Bat girls, Dryders, etc. I dont see why the fuck not.

>>20789094
Oh god dammit, I only just got back and I have to be an asshole... Then again, I've got no-one to blame but myself for not writing faster.

I was going to be sending Sir Andrew to the Gnoll Wastes in my next piece you see. I was going to flesh out wastes a little and the creatures who live in them. I guess I waited too long and now have to work with your canon, rather than establishing my own for the setting. Bugger. Ah well; my own fault, I guess.

After another two months, “Go kill that elf.”, works. The elves their kingdom sent to spy on me all this time really need to rethink their career. Not that it matters. The gnolls made short work of them. After going through what was left I noticed that the four elves sent to watch me were all male, and all had organs at the base of their spine. The sizes were all average.

Since it was clear to me that the gnolls were trained in rudimentary commands, I believe I have trained them enough. I decided to take them back to TeeGee where I can begin the process of domesticating them more via selective breeding. Given my extended lifespan, this may help me preoccupy myself for a few decades or so. Unfortunately travel with so many rambunctious bipedal hyenas will slow this journey more than I’d like. Hopefully I can get some more training in during that time.

End report.

I think I should go back and rewrite my story. I now realize why I see so few books written in the present tense.

“And that is why, dear Council, there are about 200 gnolls loitering outside castle Waifu.” I say standing in the middle of their gathering. Several knights had joined as well, but the lighting had been changed to be more intimidating. I could see no one, but they could all see me. Irrelevant. I could identify from voice.

“Well I can understand why, but the reason behind having so many gnolls is?” That was Sir Zoros.
“Gnolls get horny. Gnolls make more gnolls. That is why. I originally set off with barely more than a hundred.”

“And where do you intend on keeping all these gnolls?” Sir Alaric.

“That is the other reason I’m here instead of out there. I wish to commission the construction of a kennel and an exercise ground around my quarters. The kennel shall be underneath my lab, and should be large enough to accommodate twice their number giving how much unused space is down there. Also, I request the lands behind the Orc Quarter as a place to train the gnolls and subsequent generations.”

The council started muttering to each other, debating whether or not to approve my latest antic. I walked to one of the large windows and looked out. “Best make that decision quick dear council. Inkblot is urinating on the side of the castle.” I open the window and shout. “No! No Inkblot! No! Bad gnoll! No piss! No piss!” I turn back to the council. “I will await your decision in my lab, I have gnolls to attend to.” And I leave the chambers at a brisk pace. With all the trouble the gnolls have put me through; they better make some damn good guard dogs…

>>20789439
Well I am also sort of to blame. I just see something and write something about it as a spur of the moment. Sometimes I forget that others had already called dibs. Sorry bout that.

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I awoke slowly, groggily. I really couldn't hold my liquor, as evidenced by the pounding headache and blurred memory. At the very least, I still had all my stuff. Several other knights had also passed out around the tavern. After rousing them awake, I took a few tentative steps outside. Sunlight beat down upon my eyes like children on a pinata.
"Thought I'd find you here, lightweight"
"Sera?"
"The house was quiet without you scribbling last night."
"Yeah, I, uh. Outrealmers really get overexcited about which swords are best."
Her ears twitched, as my eyes finally adjusted to the bright sunlight. What god invented headaches?
"So you party until you pass out over swords?"
"...yes. Yes we do." I scratched the back of my head.
After a moment of silence, I spoke up
"Wanna go grab some breakfast?"
"Sure. You need something to wake up anyways."

Oh gog, I went and missed a whole thread.
aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh

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>>20790428
Chill out, we got everything archived. In addition, this thread is only just starting.
Unusually quiet, though.

>>20790445

Shhh, that's because I'm writing.

>>20790445

Too quiet.

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>>20789370
The status is Adorable sir!

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>>20789824
As we walked to our destination, it became apparent that the festival was winding down. Waifu town was always a lively place, but now the chatter had mostly died down, and it was apparent from several wandering citizens that we may have over-partied. TeeGee hadd solemn ceremonies and even something similar to Christmas, but we never had an Olympic type festival before. I believe they were finally blowing some steam. Fortunately, a few hungover knights doesn't close the sausage vendors.
"Think you can win today?"
"No idea. I don't even know who I'm fighting."
"Feh, what was his name? Something with an S?"
We took a minute to eat silently.
"So, Al..."
"Yeah?"
"When you saluted me the other day... what was up with that?"
"Who else was there to salute?"
"It's just... you know they were doing that to their waifus, right?"

Alaric, you fool.

>>20789818
No worries... *sigh* How far into the wastes did you go? If it was only a short way, I can chalk it up to that and your own preconceptions. It's a cheap cop-out I know, but that way, we can account for both perspectives. Humans are culturally diverse anyway, so why not other species?

>>20790445
It IS quiet... I think most people are simply working on epically long pieces. It's astonishing how we've developed in just a week or so. Twelve threads already with this insanity... Never change /tg/, I love it here now more than ever.

>>20790606
Not epically long, just horrendously slow writer.
:(
Current one i'm on right now will probably be around 3-3.5k though, which seems average ish for some of the stories. Hopefully posted tonight.

It was not easy going at first, but I couldn’t complain. Being an Outrealmer, I know the feeling of helplessness all too well, and the few recruits that were struggling with their chosen weapons would just need some extra practice to stay at the same pace as everyone else. I gathered the archers into a group, only thirteen, while Sir Kasai led the rest in martial combat drills. Teaching them to familiarize themselves with the different pull grips, they found what worked best with for them, and after teaching them to pull with their back and chest, some seemed to take to it naturally. It felt good to see these would-be soldiers practicing away, talking with each other and figuring everything out, but more importantly, they were exercising team building. I was standing to the side, watching them fire a few arrows, and talk amongst each other. I would chime in now and again to give some advice, but I mainly left them alone to learn… at least for today. It was observing when Evette walked through the barrack gates, and with that catlike walk of hers, she sauntered past a group of recruits, who turned their heads to stare. I frowned at them, and they chuckled, then I raised an eyebrow at them and they quickly turned away and resumed what they were doing.

>>20790670

“How is the big-bad Captain today? Hopefully not scaring all these fine…” she watched a recruit fire his bow down the range, leaving the arrow still in his hand. “Recruits..” she finished sarcastically.

“One doesn’t become a perfect warrior in an afternoon, love. I sure didn’t, and I don’t expect these ones to either.” I responded.

“Fair and sound judgment, I am impressed!” she laughed. “Perhaps you will teach them to be awake and on time better than you do, and not have to run across town dressing yourself.” She said slyly, winking at me.

I could hear a few of the recruits sniggering at the remark right behind me, so I just pushed down on the hilt of my blade, bringing the heavy scabbard up between his legs, sending him doubling over from pain.

“Now… where were we? Oh yes. What brings my illustrious waifu to these humble training grounds?” I laughed.

“Oh, nothing. After leaving our front door open, I didn’t really feel like staying naked in our house for everyone to see, so I tidied up and brought you some lunch.” She finished by leaning in an kissing my cheek, which elicited a “Wooo!” from some watching recruits.

>>20790682

“GET BACK TO PRACTICING OR I HAVE YOU HERE TILL TOMMOROW MORNING!” I yelled back.

Evette giggled and handed me the parceled plate to me, lifting a corner of the wrapping I could feel the warm smell of a meat pie.

“Meat pie. Meat, in a pie. Whoever invented these knows exactly how to get to a man, like really. I love meat. I love pie. It seems natural.” I happily prattled on.

“Yes dear, of course. You act surprised that I would know your… deepest… wants.” She replied seductively.

With that, I gave her a hug and another kiss and went back to training those sore excuses for guards. But after I was done with them, they would be a challenge for anyone who dared try and invade our home.

>>20790606
Not too far. I doubt Harbinger would go into the heart of unknown land by himself, despite his antisocial tendencies.

For they guy asking last night about Meina's baby, You'll see.

To Sir Fearghaile, I remember a story with a knight and a felim charging and then the Felim used the knights shield as a spring board, sorry if I got it wrong and it wasn't you who told that story.

>>20790606
Some of us are also trying to get through veritable mountains of classwork.
Or maybe that's just me and this general area. We're starting to think the professors conspired to do this.

>>20790901
Some people have class and work.

>>20790729
There we go then. I'm planning on going all the way to the other side, eventually. Doubtless the fiercer tribes are in the interior. The ones on the exterior are weaker and more pliable to being trained.

So, I'm that little slice O' life moment. Was it better?

>>20790980
I liked it

>>20790980

>So, I'm that

God damn, I can't english today.

>>20790980
I know I'd that slice of life moment.
You wouldn't even believe how much I'd it.

>>20790980
I like it.

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>>20790537
"...maybe."
Smooth.
"Well, I... let's just see if you win, alright?"
"Yeah."
I wondered briefly if I had blown it. It didn't feel that way; after a slow day we went merrily to see the finals for the jousting tournament. It's much different seeing a game in a crowd than being in it on the ground, to be the one hollering and cheering. I was cheering for no one in particular, though; I was entertained enough by the sheer violence of it all. Jousting was a great sport to watch! Fighting there was fun, but didn't rile me up like using a real sword. Watching in a crowd, however, it was easy to get swept away in the heat of the moment.
I didn't catch the name of who won, unfortunately, but he was getting quite a few cheers; jousting was as big as football in the Outrealm.
There was a brief award ceremony, in which the winner received a finely made lance, from what I could tell, it was wonderfully decorated, and adorned with a d20 flag. It occurred to me that the winners of the tournaments were receiving fitting arms as prizes. My sword hand twitched.
I now had two reasons to win that fight today.

>>20790980
You're pretty good.

>heres my first attempt, criticism is always welcome.


Oh? What’s up? Where’s the nearest pub? Walk down that road and take a left, you’ll see nice pub that’s always bustling with people, stories, and posters for adventures to be sought, you can’t miss it. It’s called the “Rogue Trader”.
No need to thank me… my name? It’s Drualt… Drualt, the Berserker.

>>20791219

Ha ha, I figured you’d give me a weird look after I told you; you want to know why I’m called that? Instead of something more noble like Sir Drualt, protector of the weak? Well, if you’re that interested in hearing my own little story you’re welcome to buy me a drink he he….oh….you will?
Right then…

>>20791226

I don’t need to tell you the stuff that you’ve heard a thousand times now do I? We arrived to this world…what… seven years ago? Damn…that really does make me think… But I digress; the story begins with of course the hard winter, then the Felim finding us, and then came the Battle over our lives and the Elves, where this story really begins.
During the attack I was with a group of two outrealmers, like myself, and a young Felim girl. As we walked through the snow, the sounds of battle all around us, we came across a set of houses and bodies of our comrades littering the ground; as we get into defensive positions and attempt to locate the Elves responsible for this several arrows dart from the top of the houses, concealed by tree branches. The arrows claimed one of us, puncturing him through the chest with 3 arrows, the look on his face was that of confusion…and fear.

>>20791226
Bartender! A glass of your finest water for my friend!

>>20791234

The only way we were going to not die was by charging the houses and getting too far below them that they can’t use their bows, I leapt from behind the tree that I was crouched behind and sprinted for the houses, the deep snow deterring every step I took, as I looked behind me I saw that my comrades had done the same and were close behind me. We reached the first house and luckily the Elves took the bait, thinking that they could easily kill us up close. As they jumped to the ground I took the thick branch I had been using as a club and smashed it against his face as he rounded the corner, I could hear the crack of the wood against his head…and a second crack from his neck. My comrades charged the other two Elves however as they took the closer one to the ground the third Elf ran back and drew his bow, just as they stood up from the downed Elf an arrow pierced the outrealmer comrade in the chest, sinking into his heart and killing him instantly.

>>20791254

After witnessing the death of someone right beside her the Felim lost her balance and fell to her knees, visibly shaking and the Elf knocked his bow and aimed it right at the Felims head. I rushed to her and as the Elf released the arrow I leapt in front of the her and right as I looked into her eyes I felt a sharp pain in my back… I was hit. I sunk to my knee; my eyes wide open, the Felim looked at me and began crying. As I knelt there stunned from the pain I felt something… something primal awaken inside of me and begin growing, once it boiled to the surface I knew what it was…Rage. I was full of rage, it was wildly coursing through my body. I had lost control of myself and when I regained consciousness I was standing over the Elf, he looked like he was brutally killed, several of his own arrows lodged into his chest, arms, and throat. I was covered in blood and breathing heavily, I look back to the Felim and she had not moved from, except the fear that she had earlier was now directed to… me.

>>20791262

I took a step towards her, to try and calm her down, but as soon as she saw me move towards her she started to crawl away until she could stand up and then began to run. Once the battle was over we returned to our Fort that we had dubbed “castle Waifu” but something had changed. It seemed that word travelled fast when everyone walks together and I was being looked at like I was an insane monster that at the slightest movement I would become some beast and start killing everyone, It was hurtful to say the least. I decided that I would leave the next day, before I was told to leave. As I was leaving I was stopped by a man named Giovanni, the name man that leads our Guard, and asked if I was leaving, I told him I didn’t feel like my presence would be welcomed, He then said “you’re probably right about that, It’s too bad though. We could always use a crazy fuck that will go berserk on the enemy”
After he said that I left and after a couple days of thinking about it, the Berserker title stuck with me, and shortly after I named myself Drualt, after a personal hero of mine in the old world. So there you have it, the boring tale of how I got my name Drualt, the Berserker. Why no Sir before my name? Well because I didn’t join knights of Teegee, don’t get me wrong I do all of the things they do, I liked idea of a berserker more than knight though, and yes, they are completely different things. Now then, I gotta go and give a share of my latest loot to Gary or he’ll try and scold me again… I keep telling him that you can’t try to lecture someone by starting out your lecture with “now I don’t care but”

>>20791273

and done... it seems that for my first post of writing in 4chan...my foramtting decided to rebel... in my defense, it is much neater and easier to follow in word...

>>20791288
Yeah that happens, some people fix it. I just post.

>>20791305
I tend to side with your way of doing it more often then not, the checklist would be like so

1. got the words down? check
2. able to submit? check
3. formatting look good? no idea
4. fuck it, submit!

>>20791375

Thats how I roll. Write it up in MS word, copy-paste and away I go.

>>20791433

ha! I'm glad I'm not the only person that abuses the copy-paste system.

I just read your slice of life story and it was short but sweet and left me with a smile.

good job!

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>>20791092
My head was in the clouds. I couldn't quite focus as I readied myself for the duel. My helmet was secure, I had sword and shield, I knew, but my brain still wandered to this morning. I may have blown it and lost my housemate.
"No Alaric, stop thinking." I told myself, walking onto the field.
"Thinking just makes you depressed" I thought to myself, eyeing the man across the field. My opponent was some man with khaki clothes, and apparently no armor, though it didn't matter too much with blunted weapons. It would just hurt a lot. He wielded a saber, bouncing on the balls of his feet. I recognized this guy, he was Kasai, the one who trained recruits. And here I was wearing a helmet while I fought a big shot; I couldn't be shown up. I stabbed the blunted sword into the ground, then reached up, tearing off the helmet and bevor. Raising my sword, I riled the crowd for the final match.
It was almost time, as I looked around the crowd. So many faces I didn't know, then I caught Sera's. Today, I was able to make out her shouts, barely above the crowd's.

"Kick his ass!"

>>20791375
>>20791433

That's how I do things too.

>>20791549
and then you fight Sir GearHeart and fall to Pocket Glass and Exploding Daggers. NOT and thats why GearHeart does not participate in the games. He uses cheap tricks to get the edge.

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>>20791565
I type as I go in the thread then post it before I decide it's shit.

>>20791549
>>20791565
going off of what Gearheart was saying I doubt my character would ever participate in these games as well, the risk of losing control and not being able to stop would be a bit too much against such accomplished warriors.

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>>20791593
Well, I'm sure the festival would have a game that requires sleight of hand, wit, and resourcefulness to win.

...Gearheart, you should write a festival story if you haven't already. Even Harbringer wrote one, and he is our resident Grimdark foil character.

>>20791648
Yeah its next in my cue. It will be after I finish the snow queen one which is almost done.

>>20791659
I don't think I used the right word for that so to rephrase its next in line for what I am writing

>>20790901
>>20790926
Homework, job finding, and obligations to the team I vidya with. All while being far behind everyone else. This is quite the tricky situation. I love it.
>>20791433
So...nobody else uses Notepad? Nobody? Come on, I can't be the only one.

>>20791772
Open Office Master Race for the win

>>20791772

I use that to rewrite game files.

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>>20791549
He was fast. Footwork gave him an advantage, and he was more prone to dancing around me rather than bash head on. Second guessing his movements was next to impossible. It took constant backpedaling and strafing just to keep facing the lightly armored man. I lunged, he parried, and his counter was barely blocked in time.
With a roar, I backhanded with my shield, giving me a little breathing room. Pointing my sword out, I took a defensive stance.
A few tentative swings, and I was almost fencing, meeting his swings with my own. Mine were slower, and more prone to missing, but their weight kept them a tad harder to block. I had found the first step to this puzzle.
Wider, fluid sideways swings kept the man at bay; even as he danced around, I kept my sword singing. It was all I could do to keep his silvery crescent of a sword away.

>>20791822
You're doing them fantastically. I want someone to make a movie of this.

>>20791822
Yeah I must say few can right fight scenes like you can and I am including professional authors. Trust me I have read a lot of books.

>>20791897

Most authors tend to gloss them over.

>>20791723
I believe you meant queue.

>>20791772
>>20791789
I use Google Docs, it's just so convenient.

Though when copying from 4chan, I copy to Notepad and then to Docs to get rid of the formatting.

>>20791819
You're talking about .ini files, correct? Notepad++ would be better for that.

>>20791897
>>20791822

I wish I could write a real combat scene... but I will wait till we actually have something to fight about.

>>20791914
That's the thing most authors gloss over them as they are supposedly the hardest part to write.

>>20791926
Thank you I kept wracking my brain, but work and school have left it addled today.

>>20791926

I have Notepad++, but I've never felt like using it. Notepad works fine for what I'm doing, have yet to mess up the format or create and game-breaking typos.

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>>20791872
>>20791897
Oh thank goodness. I was trying to find a nice balance between metaphors and technical stuff, but I think I figured it out.
>>20791914
I recall reading a Star Wars novelization as a kid that did this; I was beyond pissed.

>>20791947

>Full armor
>Three-quarter armor
>Half armor

Where's the one-quarter armor?

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>>20791961
You mean when we switched to almost none after the use of the firearm became common?

>>20791947
Do you mean EU, or literal novelization?

>>20791969

I just thought the names were kind of amusing. Almost like the knights started leaving part of their armor behind because it was too much of a hassle to deal with.

>>20791969

I tried my hand at making a Cuirass once. You need a fuckhuge piece of steel to start with. Something my anvil was too small for, and it resulted in an unfinished and bumpy look.

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>>20792004
It was a kids' novelization of the full series. Skipped some of the major lightsaber battles, and skimmed the rest. Since I was twelve or thirteen, I was reading that book for only the lightsaber battles. Royally disappointed.

>>20792039
Sorry man. If you want good lightsaber battles I'd recommend the book "Invincible" by Troy Denning. There's some other ones with good battles, but that one stand out the most to me.

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>>20792093
Eh, it's cool. I did realize that a lot of good fight scenes are found in older films, though. Without all the cut aways and slow motion, you can follow them enough to see how well made they really are.

>>20792180

Shields shaped like crosses. I thought I had seen it all.

>>20792180
Fun fact, the guy who choreographed the lightsaber battles in the original films also worked on "The Princess Bride".

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>>20792205
Look at the spike shields. At least the cross shaped ones seem practical.

The cross ones are sword breakers, you catch the sword with and the spike shields are for stabbing with.

>>20792222

So pointy. Almost makes me wonder how they managed to hold those things.

SO I am finishing up the snow queen story and its getting away from me. So prepare for a that guy wrestling scene between two girls. Should be done shortly

>>20792391

>Girls wrestling
This ought to be fun.

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>>20791822
"Part two!"
I swung my shield. Now was the tricky part, overpowering him. The shield kept him back, the sword defended, but still it was not enough. As he swung down, I rammed in with my shoulder. Our blades clashed and locked, as the crowd cheered. Quickly, he braced his blade with both hands; my left could not do so with a shield.
"When there's a puzzle, you use your head!" I stated deliriously, and braced my face against the broad side of my blade, pushing onto his. Even with the blades heavily dulled, his blade still dragged against my eyebrow, and I felt a warm liquid spill into my eye.

With a roar, I gave one shove, and knocked him backwards to the ground, a swing knocking the saber from his hands. Looking down, blood running down the side of my face, I silently pointed my sword at him.

"To arms, facing defeat, there's no surrender, there's no retreat" he said.

With a half-hearted bop to his head, the game was over.

>>20792450

>"When there's a puzzle, you use your head!"
Some puzzle.

>>20792391
>Where I last left off, The gang had just been setiling down for bed after killing a dragon. A Tower of Ice in the distance.

I stood guard that night, James slept like he did the night before. How did I never notice that. I deiced that I would break my little rule about not reading friends minds just this once.

I'll be honest diary it was scary and disorienting. There I was walking past a bunch of funny bits of metal in the dark and there was this cute little girl walking next to me. Holding my hand. Then a guy holding what must be a gun came out of nowhere. And then I knew what was going on. His lips moved but I couldn't hear anything and then I am on top of him beating him. All I can think about is the horrible things that could happen to the girl. How I must stop them. And then shes pulling me off, crying with a pleading look in her eyes. Shes saying something but I just can't make it out. It later, sitting in a room of greys some man dressed in white is talking but I can't hear him, all I can hear is a dull hum. The cold is overwhelming, so cold. Its latter once again. In my hands is a bundle of paper, its words fill me with sadness and hate, but mostly hate. I don't know why as I can't even make out the words. I get up and walk across the room. I pick up a strange item and hold it to my head. Things don't make sense, everything is getting grayer and colder. I feel so sad. I throw the object across the room where it shatters. Time jumps once more. It's raining but its not really. Even one is dressed in black and a box is being lowered into the ground. Every one looks so sad. But all I could feel was HATE.

>>20792566
I pulled myself out of the dream. I am going to make things better for James but how? The morning sun was blinding off the ice today, but it was just as beautiful as the last. I can see why so many people get up to see it. I feel SOOO tired I am going to need to sleep soon, but I can go on for one more day. You know what diary, I think I'm copying James to much with this. To much to the point. Its not really me. Lets start over.

>>20792573
Dear Journal,
We went to the ice spiral thing to day. It reminded me of a large dick.
“Hey Meina, you know what that looks like?”
“A tower of ice.”
“Shes thinking it looks like a penis.”
“Ah, James you take all the fun out of it.”
“I think that would be to cold for me Lilly.”
“Eh, I've had colder. Tried making love to an accountant once. He just could not stand at attention and it was all numbers to him, 1 > 0.”
“Did you get his soul, Lilly?”
“Turned out he didn't have one.”
“How do you do it anyway?”
“Well Menia, you put two sex organs together then move them around a lot.”
“That's not what I meant. I want to know how you steal a soul.” Meina said with cheeks flushed a deep red.
“I know that dear, its just that its so fun to tease you and you look so cute when you blush. The truth is you can't steal a soul. It must be given. And for that you have to break their will make them want to give up everything. Then you can suck out their soul through their cock.”
“Why the...cock?”
“It feels real good that way, that's why sweety.”
“Which means I don't have to worry about losing my soul. Implying that my will can be broken.”
“Implying I am even trying.”
“Implying that if you were to try I would give a fuck.”
“Implying I couldn't make you beg.”
“Implying I have a soul.”
“Ok I need to stop. I can't handle all this implying, even though it is rather fun. Lover, how do you feel for a little wager. When we get done with this little quest I'll do my best to get your soul.”
“Sounds rather one sided and I don't get anything if I win.”
“Lilly your not really going to take his soul are you?”

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>>20792547
I think sleep deprivation is getting to me. I just wanted him to say something witty and win a sword push with his face.
Have some stylish armor as an apology.

>>20792583
“I'm just going to borrow it. Hows this, if I get your soul I'll keep it for three days. In those three days you will be my little puppet. If you can hold for a week then I'll play the part of your little toy for a week.”
“So sure in you sexual prowess are you, When we get back home the game is on. Oh the things I have planned for you when you lose.”
With the sexual tension so thick Meina walked on a head a bit to where Ruby was. Giving me and James some space. I felt that this would be a good time to have a heart to heart with James.
“Hey uh, so how did you sleep last night?”
“You should know.”
“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry into your head last night. Would you like to talk about it, Love?
“Lilly you know me better than anyone in this blasted world, probably better than anyone ever. So you know I like it when things are to the point.”
“You were thrashing around last night and I was worried about you. So I jumped into your head and well the dream was really confusing and full of emotion.”
“You remember the story I told you about the first time I killed some one. It was a continuation of that. Getting “help” from a quack, then the phone call came telling me that side got killed on a stupid trip with the peace corp. In some backassward third-world shit hole. Then there was the funeral. If I hadn't screwed things up with her she wouldn't have left. Then she wouldn't have gotten killed by some stupid fagot who thought that being able to use a gun made him a hardass.”
“There was so much pent up anger and sadness, she must have been important to you. Hey how did you know that I was reading your mind last night?”
“I didn't, lest not till you told me. Oldest trick in the book. But I did know you were on watch last night and I know I don't sleep all that restfully sometimes.”
“Damn, I can’t believe I fell for that. Your still as tricky as ever.”

>>20792592

A few minutes later we were standing in front of the ice spire's doors. Meina and Ruby were pounding on the door trying to get it to open. They weren't even making a dent.
“Enough of this, stand aside girls and I'll show you how its done.”
James put his hand to the door and closed his eyes.
“So uh what ya doing?” Meina said.
“Concentrating now shush.”
Minutes pasted and James just stood there looking like a fool. Ruby was about to say something, when James shouted out.
“SONIC BOOM!”
And the door turned to a fine white power that filled the air.
“Took me a minute to find the subharmonic frequency.”
We made our way into the Spire. Just past the now powdered door was an ornate entryway with twin stairs leading up to a second floor made all of ice.
“Now the question is, is this a Gygaxian or is it Babies First Dungeon. Girls keep close and don't touch anything.”
SO what was the first thing the dumb Orc do? She walks right into the middle of the room and touches a shinny gem embedded in the floor. The chandler shook and fell in the blink of an eye, crushing Ruby underneath. Luckily she only got scratched up a little. As the ice shattered on her armor and her thick head.
“Damn it Ruby, I just said don't touch anything. Luckily that answers the question, this is defenitly babies first” James said as he and Meina helped her out of the pile of ice. Dumb bitch Got what she deserved.

>>20792597
After that our ascent through the spire was rather uneventful, sure traps where there but we over came them so easily it barely is worth mentioning. In one hallway there was a thin sheet of ice over spikes. I just flew over the trap and tied a rope on both ends of the trap. The was a trap on one of the stair ways that shot out arrows at you when you steeped on a stair. Got past that one by simply having James take the lead. He had made upgraded it with some runic stitching that slowed down projectiles enough that the marital he used to stop knives stopped arrows also. We did pass a lot of traps that we didn't even have to mess with. Like there was this statue of a beautiful nymph surrounded by waterfalls, I'll admit that I did kind of what to take it home and put it in the garden. But then James pushed some of the water at the statue using magic and the statue exploded. Or like this necklace we saw in a giant cube of ice. Passed that one right by. There were two that did give us trouble though. Being a succubus I tend to have a bit of a body heat issue, its nothing big mind you. It's just that I'm a tad warmer than most people. So we were passing through a long hallway and we all started feeling a little lightheaded. As we kept going things got worse. It got to the point were Meina passed out. We grabbed Meina and ran like wasps were in our panties. OH, there is a fun idea for James, when I make him my toy after I win, He'll look so cute and I have just the right lacy number. Oops got a little side tracked there but rest assured Journal I will tell you of dressing James up like a girl some day. Anyway like I was saying we ran out of there and after a few minutes of clear air we were feeling better.

>>20792609
“What in the name of the chaste heavens was that!”
“If I had to guess then I would say that melting ice released some kind of gas”
“Well that's just great. I hope we don't run into another one of those. Hows Meina doing?”
“Breathing is normal and Pulse is steady, She should be fine. How you doing Ruby, been awfully quite as of late.”
“Just thinking, where did all of this come from, why just the Thunder Rift clan, why not another clan. Also I just... I don't want to talk about it.”
“Yes, Yes you don't like playing second fiddle to anyone.”
“That is not true.”
“Right well, when you want to talk I'm here for you.”

The second trap that gave us trouble was right before we made it to the top. We were climbing up a set of stairs when it just sort of turned into a slide. I was fine as I just flew there, I also managed to grab Meina. James was fine as he stabbed Fury into the ice and held fast. It was once again Ruby who proved to be the problem, she slide all the way down and fell into a pit that had opened up. It was no big deal but it did set us back a few moments. So we finnaly got our sorry asses up the slope, went through this ornante door of ice that looked like it was made out of snowflakes.

The door opened easy enough. Inside was what looked to be a bedroom, in the middle there was a slab of clear ice with the body of a large Orc frozen in it. Standing next to the slab was a strong looking Orc woman. Her skin was not the normal grayish color but had a slight hint of light blue. Her aura was none existent.

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>>20792588

I thought it was amusing.
Here's some real stylish armor.

>>20792619
I yelled out.
“Shes dead Jim!”
“I sort of figured, also nice quote.”
“Eh two of the Knights in the market were trading lines.”
“You dare make little of me.”
“Not only that, but I dare to do things many a man won't.”
“Like let a succubus have her way with you.”
“Yep stuff like that, Lilly.”
“You enter in to my home and destroy it, you kill my men, and now you mock and ignore me. Your punishment shall be most server.”
“No batman I am not going to kill you, I am going to break you.”
“DNANANANANA BATMAN.”
“And ROBIN.” Meina chimed in.
“Have I mentioned lately how much I love you girls.”
“I shall rip the flesh from you bones and turn you into a chair.”
“I can see why that chair looks like it would freeze your bits right off.” I said pointing to a chair made of snow.
“I've had enough of you people. Its time to die.” The icy bitch said as she made some arcane gesture with her hands. And then giant hands made of ice and snow formed from the roof.
“Lilly its time to get wet.”
“Finally, I never thought you would ask.” I said vamping it up.
The room grew hot as I filled it with flames. Things quickly started to melt. The witch cried out.
“NOOOOO your ruining everything!”

>>20792628
The ceiling came raining down on us and the floor started to give way. And yes we got soaked. With her powers neutralized she proved to be an easy fight. After her defeat the spire started to give way, her icy will had been the only thing keeping it together. After such a show of magic I was drained and James had to carry me out. Luckily we made it out with any problems even though it was literally coming down behind us.
“Ok girls, time to towel off, don't want to die of stupidity.”
After getting warm and dry we set off on our way. It was but a few minutes in when James said.
“By the way good job girls. To bad we will never know all the details.”
He was just about boring holes he was staring so hard at Ruby.
“Well I do know a thing or two. She was an Orc from the Rock Bitter clan. About two years ago the Thunder Rift clan did battle with the Rock Bitter clan. Our great clan trounced theirs in open battle, few survived. The Orc you saw on the table was their leader and her lover. She escaped into the wilderness and we presumed her dead.”
“Well that fills in some of the blanks, I do wonder what kept her going though.”
“We may never know.”

That night we slept, I had James help me out with a few experiments. Ice and Snow are fun. I noticed he slept better that night. The next morning I woke early, and just clung to James as he slept.

>>20792640
“You know, Lilly I can't believe that you did not make a single joke about the Snow Queen.”
“You mean like how making love to her would be like making love to a snowman.”
“Or how she was a real cold fish.”
“How she couldn't get wet as she was frozen over.”
“How no one could get her motor warmed up.”
“That one I don't get, Outrealmerism?”
“Yep. Beautiful morning ain't it.”
“Almost makes me want to sing, How about a song you know.”
“Well I do know this one song written by Hank Williams Jr. Its called All For The Love Of Sunshine.”
“Sing for me, Please.”
And so he sang it and it was a beautiful song. I liked the parts about the girl with the heart as big as the sky the most. When he was done Meina and Ruby had woken and had gathered around.

>>20792588
You son of a bitch! That was my planned suit of heavy armour.

Anyway...just finished my next chapter, 3700 words....anyone wanna proof read?

>>20792647
“I can tolerate my husband having a mistresses to sleep with, my father had many. But I will not tolerate him singing her songs of love. Get up you wench.”
“Ruby knock this off, I only went along with this whole chrade to help you. When I do take a vow, it will be to whom I chose.”
Ruby stomped her foot done on his gut and he let out a groan of pain.
“Silence human, it is time for the woman to do the talking.”
“I can't belive I forgot the most important rule about being an adventurer, sleep in your armor. Luckily I am not the only one.”
James kneed her in the behind causing her to fall over on top of him. He then headbutted her in the stomach as she fell.
“Rule number four, never let your guard down, takes to long to get it back up.”
He got up from the blankets and pulled on his clothes.
“Lilly what would you say to settling this.”
“How so?”
“Bare knuckle boxing, like my grandfather said if your not mad enough to bare knuckle box then your not mad.”
“Sounds good to me. And you Ruby?” I said to the just now recovered Orc.
“I'll take you out no matter the type of combat and then he will be mine.”
“Bitch please, I am not anyone’s, this is to see who will be mine. Survival of the fittest if you will. The rules will be simple I'll draw out a circle in the snow. If you leave the circle you loose. There will be no weapons, armor or magic. You lose when you submit or you die or you leave the circle. Any questions? No, good.”

A few minutes latter, I was standing across from the Orc bitch. She didn't look comfortable with out her armor and I was about to make her a lot less comfortable. In a fair fight she could out endure me and take anything I hit her with. So I planned to fall back on the old Succubi standby.

>>20792655
She made her way carefully over to me in a fighters stance. Slightly crouched and her knees spread to give her better balance. When she got close enough and was about to throw a punch, I tried to dodge but I miss judge the effect of the snow on my movment speed and only managed to semi-dodge, instead getting clipped in the boob. I responded in kind with a kick to the the kidney, she countered with an opposing kick. Our kicks collided, our legs held their spots for a brief moment. I say my opening, her legs spread gave me an advantaging she did not. My tail darted out and struck her below the belt. The material of her pants had enough give and my tail enough strength for this to be far more effective than I intended. She jumped back to get away from my probing tail. This left her off balance and I rushed forward and punched her in the throat, sending her to the ground. I mounted her and started choking her with my thighs. She started to pry me off put I crossed my ankles behind her head and held on tight. But she kept thrashing about like a fish, this gave me an idea. I grabbed up snow and started shoveling it into her clothes in every sensitive place I could reach. This stopped her fighting me as she started focusing more on removing the freezing snow from her breasts and from between her thighs.

>>20792661

“Not so fast.” I said as I started to use my tail to tickle her. I also used my hands to attend to her. Running my fingers across sensitive areas.
“OH god make it stop, the cold hurts so much.”
There was no doubting that her little button had to be near frozen and the sensitivity from what I was doing to her, I had learned the night before how intense it could be.
“Submit, say that you lose.”
“I submit.”
I got off her and she quickly jumped up and started to remove the snow I had packed into her.
“Come on James, Lets go home.”
We made the trip back home relatively uninterrupted. We did not stop at Thunder Rift but kept going. It would be awhile till we saw Ruby again.
>Now food then I start my festival story

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>>20792648
Then you, sir, have excellent taste, because that armor is classy as fuck.

>>20792687
I don't recognize the suit you're talking about. Is it a game promotion or a museum piece? It's rather nice (though the stuff on top would mess up any fighting)

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>>20792803
When I saved it from an armor thread, all I read that it was Chinese, but I don't know anything about the materials or time period. I would guess that it's high quality gear, probably something an Officer or General would wear.

>>20792828
I'll have a number 5 and as number 11. Can I get some Katana Fries with that?

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>>20792648
I'll do it. Send via google doc.

>>20792675
If you need timeline, I'm going to suppose this festival took place a couple weeks after the whole international incident with Sir Andrew and right around the day after Lem and Kikki sealed the deal. Might make for some funny dialog.

Currently wondering if I should do an older ADVENTURE story or maybe detail around the Festival. In the meantime, have some Sir Fearghaile Heraldry. Currently wondering if I should reverse it.

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>>20792874
Here is mu crest , Really only Lord Kirkcudbright is supposed to use it but since I have been transported to a magical land and am more than likely the only MacLellan there, I don't think anyone will mind. The Heraldry comes next.

File: 1348111832482.jpg-(7 KB, 198x255, mac.jpg)

>>20793025
My crest not mu. Anyway here is the heraldry, not the fanciest but it will do. I should work the family history into my story. That would be hard though.

Gee Willikers, I leave to play some Company of Heroes and all this is done!

Speaking of Heraldry, I would assume there would be an overall TeeGee crest, but we would each have our own house Crest. Correct?

File: 1348112732710.jpg-(87 KB, 995x428, bastard sword.jpg)

>>20792450
I felt proud to stand on the victor's spot. It's kind of awe inspiring to watch a crowd gather below as you bow and wave and live it up for a moment. It was a while coming, but I had a little slice of fame now.
As expected, I also was handed a new sword. The gleaming blade was covered in Latin inscriptions, no doubt from the Codex Astartes itself. It was a nice sword, almost too nice for anything but display. With a bow, I held it at my side.

"Al!" I heard a yell. Serenity stood at the front of the crowd, a bit red in the face. Mine lit up as well, as I realized: I just won a tournament for her. I can't tell if it was some sort of autism or self denial that kept me from doing anything before, but it started to dawn on me: I killed slavers to save her when we first met. We arranged for her to live with me, became housemates for months. I just won the first annual TeeGee fencing tournament for her. I was fucking oblivious until then, but I was about to get the girl. The crowd smelled the blood in the water too, and started to chant.

"Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiss her!"

Well, what can I say? The tale needed a finale.

>>20793220
First, Daawww. Second, autism you say, you must be a wizard.

>>20793268

I have been staying away from the d'aww's in my writings. I think that if I try, it will just be the woooorst thing Ive ever written.

>>20793306
there may or may not be daww in my festival story. I make no promises

File: 1348113662551.png-(13 KB, 440x506, TGHeraldrynum.png)

>>20793187
As far as I know, there is only a Sigil, pic related, and I kind of like it that way. A part of becoming one of the knights is having a heraldic seal, whether made up or "borrowed".

>>20793361
Stealing from my ancestors like a boss

>>20793382

I can't use my family crest because it is not on the internets anywhere.

>>20793517
Nothing you can take a photo of?

File: 1348114697222.png-(78 KB, 700x745, olive_wreath.png)

>>20793361
Oh, and this would be the sigil of the TeeGee diplomats to be sure.

Any comments on what I should write next? Slice of life or some action? The slice of like would definitely not take as much time to write I don't think.

>>20793517
That sucks, do you have a hard copy? I have a mug, a flag, and pin.

File: 1348114829512.png-(315 KB, 400x330, 1330241120408.png)

>>20793543
I forget who's done it besides me, Artorias, and Harbringer, but the festival has been a pretty good subject.

And I am finally done with my festival story.

>>20793540
>>20793545

Nope. The only place with the family crest is in the family villa in Italy.

>>20793577

Well that sucks.
I don't know if my family even has a crest.

>>20793577
Ah your family are traditionalist

>>20793306
Oh just give it a shot. There are several kinds of d'awwww, you may very well end up nailing at least one.

>>20793595
What are you descended from?

>>20793661

French and Irish are my European ancestors. I think, might be more.

>>20793671
Irish eh? Any idea what clan?

>>20793596

That we are. I've only seen it once, and I can't remember what it looks like. All I know is that I'll get the ring with the crest on it as I am the eldest son of this line.

>>20793678

Not a clue. Just know they came to America sometime around a potato famine.

>>20793697
Sweet. I hope you make a good head of house (the traditions of chivalry on /tg/ should help).

>>20793701
Oof. That hurt friggin everyone man.

>>20793713

Well... They survived.
I'd have better luck finding any crest my French side would have.

>>20793654

Ehh... maybe. Now that the training bit is over for now, perhaps I will write about my time in the Festival thing. Is it supposed to be the most current event in this history, or... later?

Its the most current I think it was like 5 or 6AA

File: 1348116375799.gif-(1.27 MB, 320x238, 1334083198741.gif)

>>20793768
5AA, early summer. One year after the Orc Battle.

>>20793768
Pretty sure it's the most notable recent thing. I'm a terrible person to ask, though. I'm still way in the past.

>>20793768
I'm presuming late summer/early fall 4AA, so not long after that international incident with the Mirthan duchess.

>>20793785
Really, I was under the assumption that it was that same summer? I mean, it would have been planned many months in advance, so Orks raining on the parade couldn't have destroyed ALL the plans for it. I'd imagine it would make a good Harvest festival.

>>20793810
The Orc attack took place at 4.5 AA so I think it would be in year 5

Interesting. Well, maybe I'll write something about it tomorrow. Perhaps an archery competition!

>>20793829
4.5AA is early summer. Midyear (June). I was thinking Hearthfire (September). Maybe Last Seed (August) at the earliest.

>>20793810
No, it was a several day day thing. First day was solemn battle remembrance for the battle, second through fourth was a big tournament. Early summer seemed better so it could start off a sporting season for us (and presumably other kingdoms as well), but harvest time could also work.

>>20793862

So if you go with the festival being held the same year as the ork attack, it wouldn't be too long after.
A festival would make a decent distraction from the aftermath of the war.

>>20793863
Well, I kinda imagined it sort of like a Labor Day thing, except at the end of summer. Because the event would still be relatively close to the Ork incident, it would be a good time for general remembrance rather than make the day itself a specific "remember the dead of this battle day" and alienate the new Ork population.

>>20793955
>>20793874
>>20793863
>>20793862
>>20793829
>>20793810

Gentlemen gentlemen, Just... what season is it?

>>20793964
Summerish. Whether at the beginning or end, it doesn't actually matter much since it's all warm and pleasant.

>>20793973

Summerish sounds good.

>>20793988
So summerish 4AA I can work for that.

>>20793973
>>20793988
>>20794011

Alright, thankyou. I will write about it tomorrow.

Would anyone object to a story about far off mystical lands and mysterious treasures?
Could be a good set up for any Knights itching for a Grail Quest.
Or heck, any far flung location in general. I mean didn't Big Mek mention something about a mesoamerican continent populated by Jaguar Felim?

>Here, have some writefag about it.

16th Last Seed, 4AA

To Sir Gavin and the Council of DMs

It is my strong recommendation that we carry on with the planned summer festival despite the problems created by the Ork attack only two months ago. With many eyes on our response to our first true test of steel, it is best for us to carry on with our daily lives, as to at least give the impression to our enemies we are not weak enough for an attack of opportunity. It is also a good way for the men to get their aggression and anxieties out after the rather brutal attack claimed more than a few waifus and husbandos. The games will make an excellent recruitment field for our men-at-arms corps as well. In fact, to postpone this festival would really have no purpose except to make us look and act like a bunch of emo faggots who can’t hold it together.

I ride for the Mirthan heartlands at the moment, however, thanks to our new guest that Sir Andrew brought with him. I am aware that Lady Marieth wishes to stay for the festivities, but I have managed to convince her that if she does not return, there will be no TeeGee for these festivities to take place. Hopefully, this particularly dangerous game goes well and quickly once Mirthterrah has her prodigal daughter back so that Kikki and I may return in for this festival. It won’t be easy, but I’m confident that they want to go to war as much as we do, which is to say not at all. Give my regards to the waifus, we will return as soon as diplomacy permits. Besides, I need a fucking vacation.

Best Regards,
Sir Lem Fearghaile

- From a letter to the Inner Circle of the Council of DMs, as read on the floor of the council chambers concerning the Summer’s Breath Festival (name not final)

GearHeart, I finally got around to copying and proofreading your stuff. I like your writing, but you let your sentences go on far too long. That, and you tend to make several homonym-related mistakes such as your/you're and their/they're. I don't mean to be rude, but is English not your first language?

Regardless, keep writing. I like your stuff, and wouldn't bother compiling it if I didn't.

>>20794202

You think Marieth will return to TeeGee? I get the feeling her father won't be able to keep her tied down no matter what he tries.

>>20794228
Well, she's been made PAINFULLY aware that her running away to TeeGee again will likely be yet another reason for war, but I can see her tagging along with a diplomatic outcome, albeit on a short leash.

>>20794263

I do see her convincing her father to let her live in TeeGee for 'diplomatic' reasons. I don't think she'll stop till she gets what she wants this time.
Might take a while though.

>>20794210
Nope brain damage is my first. And yeah I know bout that, I try to catch it, also doesn't help that I write these things after college and work. The sentences dragging on is how I think and I am working on that. Also thanks for saying you like it. I was planning to getting around to proof reading this some day in the future.

>>20794285
Renwald is well smart enough to see right through that. If it comes to it, he'll lock her in a tall tower until he's able to marry her off and then she's their problem.

And no, marrying into TeeGee isn't an option. Especially with the fact that being "landed" is a foreign concept to TeeGee.

>>20794329

I hope he doesn't marry her off to some weak-willed man, for the husbands sake.

I don't care what happens, just as long as it keeps their attention off my 'activities' in their territory. You'd be amazed how annoyed they get when a whole village disappears. The village came back, but they just don't let anyone forget stuff like that.

>>20794383

People get riled up over the smallest of things.
Take a few few sheep and they show up with an army at your doorstep.

>>20794191
Whatver.
Incoming worldbuilding, tell me if I should discontinue it.

By the way guys I keep mentioning that there are two moons in this world. Does anyone have a problem with that.

File: 1348121546275.png-(16 KB, 276x299, clover-logo-md.png)

>>20794471
The First of the Journals were discovered by sailors 50 years ago, sealed in watertight barrels in the ocean. All accounts of their progress have been second hand, as every ship that follows the manuscript can be assumed lost at sea. The books came to the attention of the Church of Myrthter when the barrels washed up on the coast and the contents were sold to noblemen, dabblers in the arcane, clergymen or glory seeking knights.

Each barrel contained tokens of amber and black glass, dried exotic fruits and cuttings, preserved bird skulls in jar, and the titular text, The Journal of Clover, so named due to the large four leafed clover stamped on the cover.

The text is illuminated with magnificent pictures and diagrams of unbelievable sights, plants and animals, that it cannot be a work of fiction, though written by a madman it may be. Each text found is identical to its twin, bound in leafy material and pages covered in waterproof gloss. The released texts describe a land far to the west, where men may partake of fruit so he may never die, and how the writer visited the magnificent city of Black Glass, Obsidos. It has been deemed heretical as such a pagan immortality is offensive to the sight of Myrthter, and many a noble lineage have lost good men to this pursuit.

>>20794496

I haven't read anything about two moons yet, but I don't see anything wrong with it.

>>20794504
There is little doubt that this land exists, but all maps that the writer, known as Clover, have drawn do not match any navigational charts, not from the savages, not the sand eaters, and definitely not the tree humpers. There is some speculation that it is an elaborate plot by the elves to drive Myrthter fearing men to their deaths, but even they claim to have lost princelings.

The worst part is that those with access to the original unaltered texts claim that the traveller, this Clover, went on to more distant lands with a god incarnate. Truly the largest proof that this text is either the work of a madman or a prophet.

-Excerpt from Compiled Myths and Legends by the Mad Monks of Mith
Deemed Heretical, destroy on sight

>Should we tell the Castle?
>Inconclusive, acquire the text.

>>20794202
I thought we were calling it the Festival of Loss and Revival? I forget who came up with the name, though.

If anyone's having trouble with dates, please refer to this.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1z5oDOZNWcABJYKGtvKMAfo5dW_dyVZFgiT-QKMgp3Yg/edit

>>20794509
Finally someone says it!
I'll need to rework my story but its no big deal.

>>20794519
Sorry about that man.

>>20794530
Not that bad, though the twist about the stars will have less impact

>>20794563

I think "The Clover Journals" works better as the title for your posts, but it's all up to you.

>>20794588
Well, I'm still waiting for a reception to whether or not this kind of story will clash too much with the established setting
Or is everyone okay with Marco Polo/Gullivers travels style of story

>>20794679
As long as it stays an atlantis-style myth I don't really have much trouble with it. The biggest problem I find with fantasy settings is that they overdo their sense of scope. I'd rather keep it limited to our more humble landmass, but to have tales of mysterious lands from before us Outrealmers came is good worldbuilding.

>>20794679

So long as it stays something like a myth for the moment, I don't think anyone will mind.

I've rewrote part of my story, and added quite a bit to it.
So would anyone like to proofread it? And does anyone mind if I repost the entire thing?

>>20794743
go ahead

>>20794743
too late for me. You'd have to wait 12 hours for a proper proofread from me.

>>20794738
>>20794743

That's the main problem that I'm dealing with.
After all there's a reason for the clover.
So it might not fit the setting at all. Perhaps I should just post in a different thread.

>>20794758

I'll leave a link to a google doc and go to sleep. Need to be conscious for my classes.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1giZU0bDxzLNI6sfn7Rv6dEbLQGHkN-i6Ad07dxhcdgY/edit

>>20794743
Send it my way if you want, though you shouldn't expect any results until tomorrow. For once in my life, I actually have a proper sleep schedule.

>>20794772

To me it sounds like an Atlantis style myth, or an elaborate hoax.

>>20794776

Will the doc link work for you?

>>20794774
If you want us to proofread it, you'll have to enable comments. You can do that via the "Who has access" bit. Click "Change..." to go to a new menu. Set it so anyone with the link can comment, and you're gold.

>>20794787
And yes, the link works for me.

Is the name of the god spelt Myrthter?
Otherwise the next bit I'm writing up will look silly.
Why is it so hard to remember?!

>>20795020
Thar sounds right, it used to be on the resource page but I don't see it anymore so go for it.

Time to stat those damn knights of teegee.
http://www.kevinhaw.com/add_quiz.php

>>20795067
STR:18/75
INT:18
WIS:16
DEX:17
CON:17
CHR:17

Well that would be such a badass, I must say I though my wisdom would be a bit higher. At lest more so than my charisma.

>>20795171
Damn it one am and lack of sleep. Take two/
Well that would be why GearHeart is such a badass. And it now occurs to me that my lower wisdom represents staying up to 1 am

>>20795183
Since you all seem so tired, I think I should wait until you feel more awake before posting the parts I have completed.
The thread looks a bit deserted of people at the moment. Is anyone still there?

>>20795204
Just a nearly asleep GearHeart. This is James GearHeart saying good night to all you people out there in TeeGee land. May your dice roll high and the women roll.

>>20795204
I'm here, its afternoon Down Under.

>>20795270

Well, I guess post up these parts...

Hello, fellow countryman!
Greetings from Victoria!

The Journal of Clover is written in an unseemly cant, and as is the wont of the Church, has been reinterpreted for respite of a madman's ravings.

Praise Myrthter for his mercy. I, a humble sinner, have been plucked from home and comfort by tempestuous deeds and led to the sea, only for the waters themselves to swallow me whole. It was by the will of Myrthter himself that I be led to this blessed land on gentle tides, even as the depths claim all other souls.

I have been struck mute on my arrival. Myrthter himself knows the tongue of men is wicked, but the word of man is true. It truly is a Myrthter given paradise. The land is green and overflowing in nature's bounty, and many of my kin could flourish here for generations without fear of famine. Thankfully clean of the savage menace, this land was clearly sent by Myrthter to serve his children. I feel an unseen gaze upon my back, at times warm, at others harsh.

{...}

I have prepared my supplies and shelter. But Myrthter gives with one hand, and takes from the unworthy with the other. A fire broke out among my camp when I went to seek the unseen gaze upon my back, destroying most of my supplies. I shall dedicate this time to regret and reflection.

{...}

>>20795325
Many months have gone by. It is as if Myrthter's guiding hand steers the unrepentant and unworthy from his domain. For I remain its sole inhabitant, and the isolation is taking its toll on me. I deigned to take my own life in despair by the cliffs and jagged rocks. But Myrthter stayed my hand and turned me to the heavens for guidance. And so I head towards the Mountain of Light of Smoke.

{...}

The birds and beasts wish me no harm, and with their songs cry out their welcome to the jungle. Praise Myrthter for his knowledge of man's supremacy, so that the lesser creatures in his domain do obey. The birds sang of their freedom, of the paths to paradise and ways to hell. I feel an unseen gaze upon my back. The plants wavered and followed my movements, granted animation and locomotion by unknown nature.

{...}

Today I feared my life would come to an end, dealt a mortal wound that no physician could mend. But in my fever, a vision from Myrthter was granted to me. I was led to a magnificent tree, the arboreal majesty of Myrthter's domain. Through its rare fruit was my poor life extended, and my wounds mended. Though it tastes of sin, no wicked and corrupt fruit would bring such virtue into the world.

{...}

>>20795348

I now know what guardians are put into this place. Myrthter's sentinels are as vigilant as the silence they keep. I feel an unseen gaze upon my back. They have shown me paths to knowledge unknown and arcane, of words that can burn in the night or rend a path between the trees. Myrthter has granted this poor sufferer with priceless secrets and undeserving power. The secret ways of the island are open to me

{...}

My eyes now bear witness to a terrifying beauty. Myrthter above must be testing me. I have discovered a magnificent city of black glass and stone, squat buildings and gem studded rails. No mere mortal hand could have built or provided for this city. I feel an unseen gaze upon my back. The might and wisdom of Myrthter must have placed it here to test my humility.

{...}

Time passes more quickly here than any other place I know of. For nearly fifty years have I strived on this island, recording its beast and plants, and not once have I met another thinking soul. The unseen gaze upon my back has never left. It must be Myrthter's judgement upon me, testing my worthiness. I will confront this follower. Time passes more slowly elsewhere.

{...}

>>20795352

I have found the unseen gaze upon my back, and yet I can't believe who it was. Myrthter himself has sent his servants to watch over me. It is in Myrthter's all knowing gaze that he tests his subjects. Praise Myrthter! I was not wrong when I said the island was alive. Praise Myrthter!

{...}

It is my time to leave. Myrthter has sent me a sign. My records and evidence have been duplicated and prepared for dispersion among the seas. The signals and guides are prepared. Though I now leave this place, I will forever have it by my side. The Mountain of Light and City of Black Glass await you, reader. May Myrthter bless all travelers to his garden of paradise.

>Not shown, the detailed pictures of exotic plants and animals, arcane runes, construction of the Black City and designs of the holy guardians. Heretical and Church restricted items are unavailable to all but the most faithful and steadfast.

K: Report
B: Acquired elfen edition. Church suspects nothing. Set fire to cover tracks. Evidence disturbing.
K: Explain.
B: Outside influences.
K: Return and report findings.

>>20795364
Well, how did that go?
Comments and criticisms welcome.

>>20795372
Actually, has this thread been archived yet?
I don't know how to do it myself.

>>20795372
sorry mate, dinner called.

Reading it now, greetings from the Hot North, Queenslander!

>>20795471
That's okay. Making dinner here myself.
If further interest, I'll start writing up the Elven interpretation, or perhaps a different story of distant shores.
Do tell what you think of the sneaky deals subplot. Continue? [ ]y [ ]n

>>20795495
I like how it's written, sow us the corruption of the Church, same as in the Old Realm, dohohoho.

A good story, sets a myth, gives some info, and is written well.

I'm not sure an Elven (Why would they read crap written by a human of all things?) translation is needed, but if you can work magic, go ahead and write it by all means. I won't stop ya.

Sneaky deals need to be expanded to make sense.

>>20794228
>>20794263
>>20794329
>>20794367
Actually, Teegee does have a system of peerage and nobility ruling land. It's just not based on birth, but on merit, with the nobles answerable to the council. I think there was some discussion about having a ruler elected from the council or something? It was several threads ago.

Yeah, don't count on Marieth staying gone forever. If that girl wants something, she'll move heaven and earth to get it and she doesn't exactly respect her father much, after his handling of my rescue and the subsequent events. Long story short, if a suspiciously female-looking 'boy' shows up with a Mithterrahn accent, wanting to join the knights, don't ask questions.

>>20795522
Well, the public edition of the Journal is heavily biased towards Myrthter. Ignore all sentences with his name to reach a half truth.
The Elven edition is quite interesting, as the original text was hard to translate, or indeed comprehend, fluently into any long established language of this plane/world/country.
Each reader thinks Clover is one of their own, as they never gave away their identity
>I'm sorry, I just love abusing the spoiler command

>>20795532
Quick check though.
The High Elves of this realm condescending, arrogant and conceited, correct?
More so than any High Priest of Myrthter?
And that they worship themselves (or ancestors).
So do they believe they never make mistakes is my real question.

>>20795604
Clearly, any 'mistake' an elf makes was entirely deliberate and part of their long plan for the glory of their ancestors, the success of themselves and the continuation of their line. The only POSSIBLE way an elf could fail, would be if such a downfall was engineered by another elf, of course!

Yeah, guys? I have a sneaking suspicion that the elves here are a bunch of massive tossers.

>>20795704
Got it.
Read, reinterpreted and written for tossers, buy tossers.
Or maybe go down the noble route, when they actually did things

File: 1348138388981.jpg-(86 KB, 630x440, here we go again.jpg)

Entry 15, 11th First Seed
I mentioned a variation of a popular Kanin myth about the Demon Lord. This version gave him the name Exoda Snarletooth, from which the islands receive their name. Here, the Demon Lord Exoda was simply a misunderstood demon. In fact he wasn't quite that demonic at all since his hobby was fishing and trying not to bother people who lived on the mainland. Of course, being misunderstood, every so often he was fed virgin sacrifices from the mainland tribes. I do not know how long ago in history this was, perhaps this is even older than Mirthterrah entirely.

Regardless, Exoda one day woke up to find about ten thousand virgins of varying ages, for he supposedly had deviant interests, on his private islands. Among one of the sacrifices was an unwanted princess of a mainland nation. I suspect that the Kanin's ancestors may have come from the mainland and that they were more wolf-like. The topic merits further investigation but I digress.

The princess was a blonde beauty and she fell in love with the Demon Lord Exoda, who quite frankly would have none of it. He deceived her in to ruling the main island, Canis Major, gave her the title of Princess of the Sun and retreated to the smaller island, Canis Minor, with his maid and butler. The Princess of the Sun would rule over the island peacefully, awaiting the day that Exoda would return to her and find a prosperous land under her wise rule.

>>20795958
Of course being titled a Demon Lord, there were many an adventurer and mercenary band that set sail to end the the Tyrant of the Snarletooth Isles and whatever evil descriptor they gave him. Among those was a fiery redhead and Exoda would have himself moved to stop her if she wasn't the spitting image of a long lost lover. For a time, she hunted him relentlessly across the islands, the Princess of the Sun using every trick and stratagem to delay the one come to slay her beloved but in the end, Exoda was trapped. With the enemy closing in, and his lack of desire to fight, he prepared a ritual that would allow him to outlive his enemy. He would turn himself to stone until the flame-haired, red hot eyed hunter would finally give up the chase.

The Princess of the Sun and his enemy found him sealing himself away and though the conversation between the two women was lost to history, the blonde threw herself in to the arms of the one she loved and to Exoda's horror they were bound together in stone for all eternity thereafter. The huntress assumed the title of Princess of the Moon and continued to oversee the Snarletooth isles as if waiting for the return of the fabled Demon Lord Exoda.

>>20795959
Now, how this myth relates to me. It isn't quite far off to say that when I woke up yesterday with no recollection of what happened I was told that I had accomplished an impressive feat while completely smashed. This resulted in the red headed mother and blonde daughter inviting me back to their home in an attempt to get to know me better. Now they knew.

Cynthia and Adelaide, mother and daughter respectively, were names they chose for themselves as the humans of TeeGee had a hard time trying to understand their barks and growls of a language and I myself was too busy learning Felim to try to learn Kanin at the same time. Cynthia was older than she looked and didn't take offence to mistaking her for some her daughter's age. She was a rather kind-hearted and easy going but most of all quite cunning. Adelaide, despite her pure heart and precocious mind had a bit of a vicious streak whenever something displeased her.

I found out that she was quite proficient at wielding a flail, a large wooden rod with a giant steel morningstar head bigger attached by chain, and repeater crossbow at the same time. Her mother preferred a normal longsword.

>>20795961
Perhaps what I felt was quite similar to what Demon Lord Exoda felt and as such, I chose the same course of action as the craven Demon Lord. I ran.

By now I should be farther along the northern road than anyone could possibly manage by horse. If they came by air, well that's another matter. I don't know why I'm writing in my journal tonight if I was still in the middle of fleeing with my miserable hide. Maybe I'm just feeling the guilt, like just a bit, a tiny, very small iota of guilt.

Next stop the Dwarven ranges.

--Journal of Bhikkhu Thai, craven coward

>captcha jetter genealogy
Hmmmm.

I have decided to scrap my ideas on fluffing out shamanic magic as i'm pretty bad at writing.

That said I will continue to follow these threads as I am constantly impressed with the writing you guys do.

I'm also thinking of running a game using this as a setting but sadly my group and I are new to tabletop gaming and not very good at meeting up so I'll see how it goes.

>>20795973
Just so you know I'll be touching on High Orc shamanic practices next entry. It's like you read my mind.

>>20795987
I wish you the best of luck in that endeavour.

I was planning to use shamans to explain the existence of elemental planes and slimes but someone will eventually touch those two topics given enough time.

>>20796020
I was planning on using shamanistic magic as a possible explanation for the sheer amount of country based deities.
I mean, its got to have some diverse practices up and and down the line, right?

>>20796083
Shamanism has many variations so go for it.

>>20796083
I was under the impression was that the general consensus on divine (including shamanistic) magic was, "It's magic, I can't explain this shit." Things start to get finicky when you have to start determining which gods always were and which were made by belief and what's the difference between a god and a shamanistic spirit and does simple belief itself power divine magic and is it tied to piety and faith, or to an arbitrary wisdom 'stat' and do the gods even exist at all...

Ugh... Long story short, I wouldn't delve too far into the particulars.

>>20796112
Then what about time-based magics or effects?
The wizard that started this could reach across dimensions, and Harbringer points out that the Fey Realms have at least time dilation effects applied to them.
What about lands untouched by time, or time-linked portals?
Or I could just wing it, since magic is the all-purpose plot device.

>>20796142
Lands held in stasis, I think would be acceptable. Not sure about the general consensus on that though. As for time travel... Short answer: No. Long answer: Noooooooooooooo! When you stray into the realm of paradox and cause-and-effect, peoples' heads start to hurt and you get continuity snarls and people bitching about the timeline. It's best to just say, "This is impossible." We established that a few threads ago.

>>20795532
>spoilers
I had it figured out from the word Clover, but that confirms it.
Now if you'll excuse me, I must find this island. With any luck I'll find a green haired loli there. Worst case scenario, there's a blonde girl with a hammer.

>>20796142
Time-space magic does exist, but safe time-space magic is limited towards perceptual speeding up and slowing down and dimension hopping (though "safe" is being used loosely here).

I was going to use it for my next tale, but basically TeeGee was summoned through a random space-time magic. The summoning element was intelligently created through the spell (this bastard was without a sense of right and wrong AND lazy) and when the portal closed, there was no way of getting back the exact dimension, time, and space. We were stuck here. Forever. Unless they wanted to go on a Sliders quest, but the thing is, most worlds will kill you immediately outright without the proper equipment, like a Hazard Suit, so that's sort of out. We learned this around 2.5/3AA.

Any other time-space magic is theoretically possible, though if you do anything. ANYTHING to cause some sort of paradox or have something create itself, the universe literally unmakes you and no one notices. As such a thing is painfully easy to do, not many have survived actual time travel.

>>20796781
Good luck and good hunting! Bring the right charts and you might hit gold. Or obsidian, as it were.

>>20796914
Oh, nothing THAT stupid. I've seen Back to the Future, so I know what's at stake

>Captcha: admenl WEST
Not you too, Captcha!

>>20797045
For my next trick, an elven epic.
Did anyone doubt that such a culture would not have days long plays venerating elf kind and ancestry?
Seems right up their alley, but mimicking the writing style is...difficult

>>20797476
You could always paraphrase it and pass it off as a human's interpretation of one.

>>20794795

I fixed the comments thing on the doc.

File: 1348157939442.jpg-(118 KB, 720x480, Thats-Heresy.jpg)

>>20797630

a human DARES read Elven writing and think they can understand the magestic writing on Elven kind???

>>20797973
You do know that epics can be performed, right?

>>20797995
yeah, I was making a joke since the elves think of themselves are the only true race and everything else is below them.

>>20797973
Getting the general idea of what is going on is easy enough in any play, it's the motivations of the various characters that would be hard to comprehend since, dispite the fact we can learn some of it from the elves in our own city, there are many cultural differences we simply won't be able to understand.

All that said, how hard can it be? If you could understand Shakespeare then this should be easy.

>>20795987
As I have it in my story, the females are the shamans, as the women handle religion and the men war. Most High Orcs worship the Earth Mother Tera and The Sky Father Ter. I think this was mentioned in my first run in with High Orcs and also in the Guide Section I wrote. Also looking forward to you fluffing it out.

>>20797630
>>20797973
More likely a Dwarf then. The Dwarves are pretty much the only race that the Elves have had anything resembling consistent diplomatic relations with. So much for that though since they've been in a stalemated half-assed war for the last couple of years.

>>20798060

Do the elves sign their names a dozen different ways too?

>>20799387
Twenty eight. And they use a different pen for each letter.

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Alright, I'm back. How many posts in are we?

>>20799922
259 with 41 images.

>>20799956
Hm. Gonna need a new thread today. Gives me time to think up my next longer story.

>>20799922
over 9000

>>20799975
Yep got a bit about the festival almost ready.

>>20800033
>>20799975
And I'll have a short bit of the in-between of that tumultuous night and the glorious morning.

Out of curiosity, is Engineer Fatwelder still lurking these threads?

>>20799975
We seem to be going through a thread a day with this stuff. I'm pretty impressed, even if most of it is from when I'm not on.

>>20800061

I hope so, After your last story of the "knot finally being tied" so to speak I have been wondering what became of them.

It's sad, I haven't seen him in a while.

My Dearest Lord Detrius,
We have received word from travelers on the nature of the so called "Harem Knights of TeeGee". It would appear that in addition to being deviants of the highest caliber, they are also pagans. They have sworn under a number of unknown deities, I know not their origins, but names included Papa Nurgle, Holo, "The Emperor", Ha-roo-hi, and most disturbingly, the "Blood God".
While these pagan deities are unknown to me, I fear only the worst with these monster-consorting heathens. I implore you to warrant a further investigation as to their nature, and if necessary exterminate them.

-From a letter sent by a Mirthterran Inquisitor. Said letter was intercepted, and a forgery sent in its place. The original is filed within Castle Waifu.

>>20800115
>Ha-roo-hi
8/10 would worship again.

>>20800115

I hope Holo is the god of mercantilism.