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It seems the Brotherhood is actually getting their shit together. No fate points were burned this go. In Squat Crusade: The Musical, the players are some of the last Squats in the galaxy, having narrowly escaped the destruction of the Homeworlds. Their objective is to rebuild their race (because 6e says it's okay), but they must deal with a hostile galaxy, enemies who would see them burn, and their own ineptitude.

Philip Ragebeard, Warlord
Mortimer the Lazy, Hearthguard
Kim Il Sung, Guild Pilot
Engineer Velm, Guild Engineer

Welcome to Squat Crusade: The Musical.
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The Brotherhood relaxes on Vectis Station, recuperating from the wounds of the previous fights. While Ragebeard tries to close new scars opening upon the old ones, Morty corrals a neaby squat, naming him Boonswoggle (to the Squat's chagrin) and demanding he chauffer him around everywhere. Velm...breathes. Not much to say there. Sung heads down to the Librariums and begins searching through sector databanks, trying to find a potential agri-world to feed the burgeoning squat population. He soon finds a few likely candidates, but is interrupted by the long range communications systems.

Ragebeard answers the call, leaving Sung to work, to hear a familiar voice over the hololithic displays.

"Howdy, pardner," says the glowing form of Korst'la, "Interested in Aztec Gold?"
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"What's an Aztec?" asks Ragebeard.
"I have no idea," says Korst'la, "but I heard one of you gue'la say it once, and I rather like the term."
"So what's the case then?" asks Ragebeard.
"I came across this dataslate from an old Deathwatch expedition to the world of Cu'ba. It's quite interesting," states Korst'la.
"Let's hear it then." says Ragebeard.
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>>OY! Dis fing on?
>>Yeah, boss.
>>Gud! Would ya zoggin' look at dat! Sparkly gubbinz in da treez, shiny gubbinz in da hutz!
>>All dat loot fer da takin'!
>>Well, wot're ya waitin' fer? Get lootin'!
>>Roight, Pliskin.
>>Dat's BOSS Pliskin to ya! I'z gotta get deze fingz to da Bosses on Krooza!
>>Roight, boss.

"I couldn't quite make some of that out..." says Ragebeard.
"Neither could I. But I want to see if there's any left," says Korst'la, "So, a race. Whoever gets there first, gets first pick of the gold."
"You have a deal." says Ragebeard, cutting the hololith.

>Side Note: None had fellowship high enough at this point to pass the test to see something was...amiss. So an autofail is an autofail...
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"Sung! Morty! Velm! Get the fleet ready to move. We're going on a treasure hunt." yells Ragebeard.

The Brotherhood load up and take the fleet out of Vectis Station. Sung takes a warp shortcut, and cuts the trip down to a week and a half. The first few days, all are quiet, until the Brotherhood once more receive visions of the Ancestors.



After a rather nasty bout of Lost Time, the Brotherhood gears up in response to the Ancestor Spirits' cryptic warnings.
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Arriving in orbit over Cu'ba, Sung performs long-range auguries, and determines that the soil is highly acidic, reducing its value as an agri-world. However, the Brotherhood can determine a large concentration of gold and stone in a nearby area. Strange interference prevents further analysis, however, leading the Brotherhood to don their weapons and head to the Kirov. The Curse of Fair Weather strikes again, however, and Sung struggles to keep the Kirov in line through the perfectly cloudless skies.
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Bringing the Kirov to a landing on a calm windswept beach, the Brotherhood readies the Termite, and embarks through the jungle, letting their drill cut a path through the trees. They of course find that they are not the first ones here, as the drill cuts away old vegetation to reveal an old worn stele.

Disembarking the Termite, the Brotherhood carefully analyze the stele. Sung takes a number of images of it, carefully noting that it depicts a fair number of xenos, resembling lizards. Unable to decipher the markings, the Brotherhood moves on.
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The Brotherhood soon discover a small set of ruins, long overgrown with vegetation. Once more, all that can be discerned are more images of these strange xenos forms amongst the small darkened hall. As the Brotherhood guns the engines of the Termite, Velm notices something in the darkness.

"Guys..." says Velm, "I think I see a blue light in there."
"PULL OVER. NOW." yells Ragebeard.

Running deep into the ruins, heedless of their own safety, the Brotherhood find what they want.

"Got a selection of good things on sale, stranger..."
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Velm attempts for a set of Light Power Armor for everyone, but fails. Likewise, Morty also fails attempting for a set of Pain Wards for everyone. Kim Il Sung is luckier, acquiring a box of Flip Belts for everyone (though only Ragebeard has the skills to use one at the moment). Ragebeard, having learned of a new set of weapons that entered the market, inquires further.

"So...I heard you just received a new shipment." says Ragebeard.
"They any good?"
"If you need to put a round through the eye of a carnifex, stranger..."

Ragebeard proceeds to buy a box of Korst'la Single Action Mercenaries, equipping everyone with one and keeping two for himself. For their ship, they tribute the Merchant five or six pieces of their previous loot to get an Archeotech Drive for their combat ship.

"Heh heh heh, thank you..." says the Merchant as he walks behind a pillar.
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Aw shit here we go.
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Ragebeard examines his new pistols. Engraved finish, with a wood handle, he makes the mistake of looking too close at the ammo, almost being blinded by a strange dark light...

Proceeding through the jungle with the Termite, the players finally come across a wondrous sight - a city, its streets paved with silver, its building shining with solid gold.

But no inhabitants.
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The Brotherhood try to drive the Termite further, but find the systems shutting down. Even auspexes and advanced scanners are shorting out, though helmet systems and weaponry remain intact (but spotty). Looting through the shops and stalls of what appears to be a marketplace, the Brotherhood find pottery and textiles (all of which are tossed in the Termite as loot), yet no signs of inhabitants. Moving forward through the city, Sung can't help but feel as if they're being watched. As shadows and movement flit amongst his peripherals, he holds on to his weapon ever tighter.

"I see something up there..." says Velm, as the Brotherhood approach the Central Square, "Smoke, and figures."
"I'll scout it out." says Sung, rushing forward.

Ascending the stairs of the central pyramid, Sung fails to remain stealthy, and feels something prodding through his mind.

"Captain...I think I've been discovered." says Sung.

Ragebeard rockets up to a sight that, well, none alive would know how to handle.
Can I just quickly ask what the hell this is?

Is this like a campaign log like Deffwotch?

It's awesome whatever it is
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"Uh, hello." stammers Sung to the vaguely reptilian humanoid, its eyes burning with a cold wisdom, its armor minimal yet advanced.
"Your presence is not needed here, primitive." states the xeno. Behind it glows something purple and pulsating.
"We were just here to, uh, admire your city." says Ragebeard.
"My people created wonders your race cannot even dream of." says the xeno, "And I will trade you younger races for my own."
"What are you-" starts Sung.
"I am Xahecatl, the Wind of Vengeance," says Xahecatl, "and you will know the fury of the last Old One."
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Xahecatl claps his hand, and a red wave flows forth from the temple. While it does nothing harmful to the Brotherhood, it stumbles them a bit.

"I have no need to negotiate with you primitive races," says Xahecatl, "Through you, my people shall return."

Xahecatl disappears in a flash of purple light, leaving the players to deal with the very angry natives.

And this is the first time I've managed to catch one, live.

Gaze upon the immortal works of Shas'o R'myr, anon, and weep, for you will never play in a game like he runs.
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Two hulking lizardmen march forth, wielding cudgels. Smaller lizardmen flank the players, with electro-whips and power chakrams. Two stay back with poison blowpipes, releasing red quadrupedal lizards. The Brotherhood actually does the smart thing and stays together, augmenting their weaknesses with each others' strengths for once.

Ragebeard unloads his Model Ks into a charging Kroxigor, downing it in one salvo. Sung charges a skink, and the two continue to slapfight for three rounds. The skinks also release the Salamanders, breathing fire and forcing Morty and Velm into less advantageous positions. While Morty somehow manages to avoid all attacks thrown against him (by virtue of me rolling 80+ to hit), Velm gets poisoned by blowdart, with its normal toxins replaced by a rather nasty drug called Heartfire.
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Ragebeard continues to fly around, popping the other Kroxigor with his Model K's, while Morty annihilates a pair of skinks with his new and improved Lost Dataslate Mole Mortar. Velm cannot roll below an 80+, and consistently fails to hit enemies, while Sung is locked in combat with a skink that just won't die. Morty finishes off the Salamanders with his Mole Mortar, and rotates to help Sung. AS the last skink falls, the players are surprised and bowled over as an enraged Stegadon bursts through the temple doors, incidentally triggering Velm's Heartfire, her heart exploding (yet not killing her, strangely enough).
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The Stegadon engages in combat with the Brotherhood, but due to a lucky series of hits(due to the entire party using Thunder Hammers), the Stegadon is stunned (also causing it to nearly drop a deuce on Sung, Jurassic Park style). The Brotherhood beat it to death, and finish its skink driver off. Sung finds himself behind the beast, obscured. As everyone reloads, Sung turns around to see the armored form of Xahecatl.

"We don't have to fight." says Sung.
"Your primitive race is needed only as fuel for my own," replies Xahecatl, "Not fighting only makes it easier for me."

Xahecatl disappears once more.

"Captain...why are we so popular?" asks Sung.
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Ragebeard walks to Velm and attempts to diagnose the problem. After initially failing medicae and declaring it to be heart cancer, Sung passes Medicae, and indicates that Ragebeard was in fact holding the chart upside down. Sung determines that she has been infected with Heartfire, and requires extensive dialysis. Driving and piloting carefully to the ship (to prevent impacts which would explode Velm's lungs), the Brotherhood rushes her to the ICU aboard the Drinks All Around, and begin filtering her blood.

Ragebeard assigns an archeological team to the site, consisting of 15,000 squats. The Brotherhood then proceeds to make way to Vectis Station.

In the Resuscatrix Med-bay however, not all is quiet for Velm.
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Deep in a medical-induced stupor, Velm feels a presence in her head.

"Your primitive race cannot hope to fight us. In our cycle, we were known as gods. To some in this cycle, we still are."
"I don't know what we did to upset you," starts Velm, "but I don't see why we need to fight."
"The glory of the Old Ones shall once again be felt within this galaxy. You do not need to fight, only die."
"Yeah, well fuck you." Velm bubbles.
Xahecatl chuckles, and the presence recedes.
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Arriving at Vectis Station, the Brotherhood disembark to see every squat on Vectis Station peeled on the pictcaster.

"-nd in other news, the skies glowed red, and every Ratling in the sector has seemingly exploded in a bloody mess. Our friends in the inquisition insure us that this is a perfectly natural occurrence, and that nothing of value was lost. They still request that all children are kept indoors, an-"

Then someone switches it to Happy Days. The Brotherhod is not sure how to deal with this news, as they focus on more immediate problems, such as food, weaponry, and spending their 750 XP.
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Overall, as I said, a successful session. The players are getting their shit together, and managed to act less like a clown car and more of a disciplined fire team, almost as good as Orks. They've pissed off something very old, and very vague. Naturally I'm not gonna explain everything in the third fucking session. There's plenty of time to elaborate on this new threat facing the Squats.

I had a lot of fun using the Lizardmen, as they are servants of the Old Ones. I also remembered how much I love poisoning people. And now that Soul Reaver is out, there are dozens of poisons I can test out.

My players also commented on how much they loved their new pistols. Almost every hit was a fury with them. Half the team never wants to put theirs down again.
>new pistols

Which pistol could cause an entire team to switch loadouts for one?
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A revolver made specifically for the campaign.

Pistol, 40m, S/2/-, 2d10+3 Pen 5, Cylinder 6, Rld Full, Tearing, Gyro-stabilized

Of course, the real fun was the ammo, which almost blinded the Warlord when he stared directly at it. They have no idea what's up with it, or why it's so powerful compared to a normal revolver.

But you guys are welcome to guess...
Wood finish, downs a carnifex in a single shot, damned purty to boot.
Clearly, they bought themselves a Jakobs.
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I want one for my game...
>Dear Diary, today I angered an Old One - the race that created all other races in 40k, created the webway, and invented psychic powers. How fucked am I?
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awesome. are the previous sessions reports archived somewhere?

(that is to say, does anyone have the link?)

Episode 1: http://archive.foolz.us/tg/thread/20601229
Episode 2:http://archive.foolz.us/tg/thread/20690875

And this is 3, so we're still early on.
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What the fuck... are those Chaos Squats? Why do they look like Volus?
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they do appear to be chaos squats. The picture was on a spanish 40k board.
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I'd like to see more squat space marines
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or "Squats in power armor" if you must peserve your fluff bone
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The closest you'll get is Exo-Armor, which is comparable to Terminator Armor.
I still can't get over how that makes the dude look like a very armoured Volus from Mass Effect.

Or an egg.
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Yeah, I'd say Egg myself.
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heh heh... "Space-Aids"
Evening Bump
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So how about 'dem squats?
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HAHAHA oh man that is GLORIOUS!

Where the fuck do you get all the shoulder pads though? Some bitz website?
Or Ebay.
IIRC the anon that made them just had a ton left over from several Space Marine armies.

So much heresy...
His and a friends left over pauldrons.

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