>>20740292
And this is why I stay the hell out of Mirthterrah

>>20740292

For my part, I've recalled all MG's to the Castle, and advised all merchants to stay the hell away from Mirthterrah for the now, and to probably just stay home completely if possible.

If we do go to war, you can count on the swords of two dozen lazy bastards.

>>20740292
You shall also have my blade, and Tomoe stands beside me to fight as well.

>Last time, After saving some cowgirls from slavers, Sir GearHeart started to lead them home in what he called the great girl drive.

The trip was peaceful, but nobody appreciated my version of Home on the Range. “Home, home on the range. Where the girls and the gals do play. Where seldom is there a quiet moment. And the estrogen is thick all day. How often at night when the heavens are bright, I see the light of those flickering stars. Have I laid there amazed and asked as I gazed, If their glory exceeds that of love. Home, home on this sexy plain.” Sure it wasn't my best work, but there was no reason to throw me into that lake. As we traveled I noticed that while the other girls had thrown off their collars, Meina still wore hers.
“Hey Meina, you want help with that collar?”
“I know it may sound funny, but I like the way the bell sounds when I walk.”
“Oh ok sorry to bother you, so how are all of you doing all things considered?”
“Happy to be free of course, but a lot of us are nervous about returning home after such a long time.”
“How long where you guys gone.”
“I was born into slavery, so seventeen years for me, the eldest Moma Genki was captured when she was four and she is now thirty-four.”
“So its been a long time, I am sure that you gals will be welcomed back with open arms.

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>>20740292
It’s a sad necessity. In order to guarantee his cooperation, I must hold onto Duke Renwald’s daughter Marieth, but hold her too long and he might just declare war on us anyway.

“I guarantee you, I don’t want any more than you to hold your daughter from her home, but you can also understand the position I’m in. I’d very much like not to go to war with anyone, since it’s the Elves breathing down our necks and not yours.”

“I would very much like to believe you, Ambassador Fearghaile,” The Duke was making an impressive display of restraining himself, “if it were not for the fact that you are holding my own daughter hostage for ransom! An act I prevented when I captured your damnable ‘knight’ with my daughter!”

“My price isn’t high, it’s only peace, and you know very well that the only relationship Sir Andrew had to your daughter was to be her savior. Don’t try and give me that line, I know the whole kidnapping story is a ploy to keep things nice with Kessel.”

>>20740577
When we we arrived at the Holstauri Village is when things got interesting. The Holstauri decided to throw a party. This is when I confirmed that Holstauri don't believe in wearing shirts inside and of course Lilly decided to live by the old adage, when in rome. I also met a fellow Outrealmer who called himself Jay Dubya, I kept calling him Dallas. He had made a place for himself here. I got his prospective on the Holstauri and he had a lot of things to say. I think one of the most interesting bits was about how their all female society had a language with out much concept of males. I knew some sociology and anthropology professors who would have wet dreams about this kind of thing. Speaking of sex, I had a odd little conversation with Lilly.
“It feels good to let the girls have a little breathing room. I love these people I wish all people thought like they do.”
“You just want to milk some of them and we both know it.”
“So what, that has nothing to do with It, it just so happens that I think that something so beautiful as the female form shouldn't be something to cover up and be ashamed of.”
“Says the sexoholic.”
“Well yeah there is that, but you don't get that after a hot day wearing restricting clothing it just feels so good to air out. Your lucky I can't turn you into a woman like some of the more powerful succubi can.”

>>20740598
“Wait, succubi can change peoples gender?”
“Yeah silly. How are you suppose to really break someone if you only break their male form, got to break both halves.”
“Oh god, I don't know if I should be scared for my ball or turned on.”
“See just talking about it is powerful. By the by what do you think of Meina”
“Shes a nice girl who has had a hard life.”
“You know that's not what I meant, I want to add her to my harem.”
“Well good luck romancing her.”
“Romancing?”
“Your normal succubus tricks won't work on an innocent girl like that. What where you going to do walk up to her, grab her and say “I am going to do you like a fatguy on a catgirl.”
“Well what do you recommend?”
“Take it slow, get to know her, show you care about her.”
“That sounds hard.”
“It is, nothing worth doing is easy.”
“Well I guess I am going to go romance a cowgirl, wish me luck.”
And then Lilly walked off with the most determined look on her face I had ever seen her make. I considered giving her some space, but I could not resist seeing how this went. So I stealthily spied on Lilly and Meina.

Lilly approached like a hungry predator about to make the kill. Then she struck.
“So Meina, how ya doing.”
“Fine, I think.”
“You don't sound all that fine.”
“Well I guess its because, well I don't want to go back to the farm life. Its all I have ever know and I have some... less than fun memories of it.”

>>20740615
“I am sure that it will be a lot nicer here.”
“A nicer prison is still a prison.”
“Well then what do you plan on doing?”
“Well I was thinking about seeing the world, there is so much out there. Really I just want to keep moving, put the past behind me.”
“You know I am a semi-famous adventurer and James my loyal vassal, you could always join us on our quests. In fact we were planing on heading out for the far north in a couple of days. Want to come along?”
“Me? Your sure I won't get in the way?”
“Pfft, there's no way you could possible be more useless than James, it seams like I am always saving him from some horrible fate.”
“Reallly? He seems really capable.”
“It's just a front he puts on. One time we were exploring a dungeon and he nearly fell to his death into a pit of jewel encrusted spikes.”
“Who would make jeweled spikes, that seems really expensive.”
“I don't know but another time...”

>>20740622
I quickly came up with a plan to end this before my reputation could get dragged through any more mud. I grabbed a chair and the biggest Holstauri in the room. I positioned the chair carefully and sat down on it. Then I told the woman to hit me as hard as she could. And boy did she. So I went sliding across the room, the chair screeching horrible as I went. When I got close to the girls I went.
“LAAADDDDIIEEEEEESSSSSSS.”
And slid right into Meina knocking her off her feet and right on to my lap. I then gave Lilly the biggest trollface I could muster and said.
“And that's how you do it.”
“Do what?” asked Meina
“Slide across the room on a chair like a boss.”
Lilly gave me a look that made it clear that she knew what I was talking about.
“So James enjoying yourself?”
“You know it. So what where you girls talking about.”
“I am joining you two on your adventures, Lilly invited me along.”
“Oh did she now, well I guess we'll need to get you some gear and a horse. I do believe my Fair Lady Lilly would know best what weapon and armor.”
“Well... Uh, actually why don't you work with her James to figure out whats best for her.”
“Sure my Lady.”
And that is how Meina officially joined my little group.

Continuing from last thread; the tale of Simmons The Red, your local magic using blacksmith.
>>20740216
The sound of the front door shattering was soon accompanied by a small explosion. One of the orks had bashed through the wooden door without effort, even bending the steel rod holding the door steady. Fortunately, when he stepped on Okris’ explosive rune, the ensuing blast threw the ork back into the small group behind him, toppling over the attackers and giving Okris and Holgof an upper hand. While they charged outside, Okris throwing lightning spells while Holgof brought his axe down on the skull of the first ork, I remained inside with Fithrin and her daughter.

At that point, I didn’t know what I could or should do. For one, I didn’t want to leave my comrades outside to fight on their own, yet I only had intermediate experience with a blade; even though others say that my skill is fine, I’ve never actually had to fight trained warriors in a life-or-death situation. On the other hand, I couldn’t leave the mother and daughter by themselves, yet the woman was too weakened to even move; we were leaves of grass waiting to be mowed down if we stayed in the forge too long. I had to make a decision, to take a risk...and unlike the near death winter experience, this time I had the power to save lives.

So I turned around, eyes locking onto the still molten ovens of the forge. As the sounds of battle and the small child’s sobs continued, I stepped over, leaned in, and thrust my hands into the searing heat.

>>20740300
Seaborgium 22, 1 FIIK; I saw a crab today and decided that tomorrow will be the beginning of the third month, which will be called "crab". Still no sign of land.
Crab 28, 1 FIIK; Found land today, possibly a new continent, will start a new month tomorrow in celebration, will name month after continent as soon as I've thought of a name for both.
Zendikar 16, 1 FIIK; I have encountered a new species of humanoid today, which confirms my suspicion that this is indeed a new continent. As for the continent itself, I have decided to name it "Zendikar". I have decided to include a rough sketch of the species below.
Zendikar 30, 1 FIIK; Encountered a subspecies of Felim that has Jaguar-like fur patterns. They ran off after they noticed I could see them though, so I didn't get to observe them for long. New month tomorrow.
Ymgarl 18 1 FIIK; Managed to track down a camp of the jaguar felim. Predictably though, these ones ran away at the first sight of me, dropping what they were holding in order to secure their safety, even a child in the case of one. I have decided to take the child with me and see if I can't return it to its mother.
Jaka 1, 1 FIIK; It's been a week but I finally managed to track down the Jaka's (the little felim girl I "adopted") mother today. The reunion was heartwarming, to say the least, and had the added benefit of earning the trust of most of Jaka's tribe.

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>>20740713
>forgot Pic

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>>20740589
“That’s Duke Kessel to you, Outrealmer,” Spiteful enough to defend his own enemy against me in his house? Well that’s certainly a bad sign. “And even if I did make such a claim against him, he would deny it immediately.”

“Have you tried talking to your Jarl? I know for a fact that you have one of the stronger presences in the High King’s Court…”

“What is it your place to know of these things, Ambassador? Perhaps I know for a fact that you lot are still recovering from a rather devastating Ork raid, and so far north too. Would be terrible for someone to take advantage of it.” He broke his composure for a moment. “Even if it were the case I appealed to the High King, it would take more than a fortnight for a decision, and another two for any real support. By that time Kessel would control more than half of my duchy which he would not yield. The bastard has me up against a wall, and he knows it.” His frankness was refreshing.

“Listen, ‘Sir’ Fearghaile, Ed Stork Drasavia has told me you are an honest man, if brash and arrogant, so I will at least do you the honor of being honest back. I want my daughter back, and I want this duchy, which is mine by right of my birth and the Grace of Myrthter to stay in-tact. Frankly, I couldn’t give less of a Felim turd if your precious castle burned to the ground under the foot of our great kingdom. In fact, between that and accusing Kessel of wrongdoing, I stand to gain everything by your demise. You can’t win here.”

>>20740680
This was the final step in my magic. I already understood Thermodynamics quite well, and combining my knowledge with the practice of magic has allowed me to make many discoveries in what I could possibly do. For starters, with the help of magic, I’m able to retain immense levels of heat within an object, yet keep the object from melting by altering realities perception of its density. With whatever heat that I pump into something, the magic I’ve devised will allow the object’s density to increase proportionally. This, coupled with my new ability to alter the flow rate and direction of heat, allowed me to forge with greater efficiency than higher quality metals.

Though I have tested the process out on my own body before, I’ve only ever gotten as far as my whole hand; nowhere close to the entire body, and never as hot as an entire forge. Heh, guess it was a good time for an experiment, right?

The glow of the forge quickly died down. I could feel my body tightening somewhat from the density shift, and though no severe damage was done, I did feel spikes of searing pain wherever my magic faltered in my body; hurt so damn much I nearly lost concentration. But as the last light of the oven died out, the last bits of heat it retained flew into my body. I stood there, skin glowing red as the excess heat I couldn’t retain caused my body to steam.

So now that you know where my title The Red came from, let’s move on to the courtyard…

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>>20740812
I bit my lower lip hard enough to drain the color. The bastard knew he had me, though I could hardly fault him for looking out for himself and his own. It was exactly what I did as a diplomat.

Well, time to risk a gambit. “But that’s just it, neither can you, m’Lord. Even if my nation and my people were reduced to a pile of ashes, as you seem so interested in making us, Duke Kessel will still want your lands, and while your noble campaign to destroy us rages, I guarantee you Kessel will hire a bunch of mercenaries and take a nice chunk of your lands. And then you really will have no repose because you’ve already eaten up your political fluff with a large scale war.”

Duke Renwald shifted uncomfortably. He took the bait. There would be no telling what Kessel would do, but playing them against each other is my best bet. “Well then Ambassador, what do you suggest? I for one am still partial to burning your perverse little cult at the stake.”

“I’ll talk to Kessel, come up with some evidence against him. Shame him publicly. If he makes a move, you may have some land taken from you in the short term, but you’ll get it back, and then some, with plenty of time to marry your daughter off to someone more desirable.”

A third voice opted in “Well, if they’ll take her…”

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>>20740713
Jaka 56, 1 FIIK; Managed to find out a bit about Jaka's culture. It would appear that they practice a form of beast-worship as their religion and, surprise surprise, they think I'm some sort of deity. As for Jaka, she's currently being inducted into their priesthood, which requires a sort of "vision quest" involving one of their god-beasts, this quest is usually taken around puberty (or so I gather from the lack of young trainees) so Jaka's induction may have some long-lasting repercussions. SPEAKING OF REPERCUSSIONS, one of the felim observed me building a permanent shelter, which may end up making me an accidental Quetzalcoatl. New month tomorrow.
Blackjack 21, 1 FIIK; Yep, definitely an accidental Quetzalcoatl, might as well play into the role I guess. New month tomorrow.
Hookers 37, 1 FIIK; Been teaching the felim the basics of agriculture, pottery and masonry, so far they only get pottery (which they love to do) and to a lesser extent, agriculture (they understand that plants come from seeds). Ill begin to teach them about carpentry, and the wheel next month, which will begin tomorrow.
Civilization 44, 1 FIIK; Well, I've finally learned enough of the felim's language to properly teach them things so the uplifting process should go a lot more smoothly from here on out. I'm going to see If I can't find a place for them to permanently settle down at over the next month, which begins tomorrow.
Exploration 5, 1 FIIK; Note to self; start making maps.

>>20741064
>Third voice
Oh hell.

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The news of an ork army came as a rather large surprise. Aside from common bandits, small raids by elves, and that automatic shovel launcher, TeeGee was a pretty peaceful land. Shocked or not though, there was work to be done. I told my waifus to find somewhere safe they could stay once the battle started, and proceeded to get slapped three times. None of them were going to let me out on that battlefield without being out there themselves. I tried to change their minds but they would have none of it. Besides, it’s not like they would be useless out there. Ana had full combat training and more than a bit of experience against bandits, slavers, and raiders; Rydia could fly, breath fire, smash things with brute force, and had scales thick enough that you’d need a fucking anti tank weapon to pierce them; and Kari’s medical knowledge may very well save people’s lives. Still I was worried, especially about Kari. She may be a decent shot with her bow, but she didn’t have any real combat experience, and lamia tails are hard to properly armor. I agreed to let them fight, but only on the condition that Ana watch over Kari, which they both agreed to. I didn’t bother asking Rydia to do the same; I was smart enough to know that her strengths would be much better suited for offense than defense.

>>20741124
After our talk we all immediately set to work. Kari began working on a field hospital that would give a place to take the wounded. Ana started getting weapons and armor to everyone that could fight, and then helped get everyone that couldn’t out through the escape tunnels. Rydia and I headed for the castle walls, which were now much easier to deal with thanks to my armor letting me jump half way up them and parkouring up the rest of the way, to set up the siege weapons, her bringing the parts and ammo up, and me piecing them together. I know, we really should keep more of these things assembled at all times, but the walkways are just too narrow for that to be practical on a day to day basis. Still by the time the orks arrived we had quite a line up; trebuchets, catapults, ballistae, even a few steam cannons (which Rydia wouldn’t let me mount on her). You really have to love the work of Leonardo da Vinci, the man was a genius of war.

>>20741132
When the orks did show up it was unlike anything I had ever seen. There were thousands of them, all massively muscled, all armed to the teeth, and many of them hauling siege weapons of their own. A good portion showed up riding on what looked like a fifty-foot war wagon. Our side stood ready and waiting though; I could see Kari and Ana near the back of the ground troops from my position on the wall, and Rydia was standing next to me (naked, which earned more than a few jeers from my fellows, but she wasn’t about to ruin another dress to transforming or combat), and when the first gunshot rang out the war cries of the orks were silenced as one of their men fell dead. Sadly the silence didn’t last. The orks cried out again and started charging. The first round of archers let their arrows fly, followed by our siege weapons, and as soon as she had an opening, Rydia jumped off the wall, screamed BEAST MODE at the top of her lungs (she still doesn’t understand why I taught her to say that, or why I find it funny), transformed into her dragon form, and flew off towards the enemy’s siege weapons. She managed to set fire to about half of them before being torn from the sky by a catapult to her left wing, and she hit the ground hard. Her wing didn’t look broken, but the orks swarmed her to keep her too weighed down to take off again. I wasn’t too worried about her though, but that all changed when I saw that fifty-foot war wagon of theirs unfold two massive arms. It was a ballista, a giant ballista with a hundred foot wide bow. Only one thought crossed my mind when I saw that monstrosity.

“Oh fuck, that’s an anti tank weapon.”

>>20741140
OH FUCK THAT’S AN ANTI TANK WEAPON!!! The orks turned the thing to point at Rydia and shot what looked like a whole tree into her leg. She tore it out but it didn’t matter, there was a break in her armor, and a spot for the orks to hit. That was the first time I ever saw her bleed, and the first time I ever actually feared for her life. I had had enough of staying on the wall and helping the siege men. I made a quick note of where Kari and Ana were, jumped down, smashing one of the ork siege ladders and a couple of the ones holding it when I landed, and made my way to my waifus. I made my way to Ana and Kari first, they were closer, but since there was too many projectiles flying around overhead I couldn’t just jump over everyone’s head to get to them, so I started cutting my way through the crowd. Adamantine’s another thing you have to love, it can cut through damn near anything not magic really easy, so having a spear made out of the stuff really helps against most armored opponents. With my spear cutting down enemies and my armor and shield (which was just a normal, if well made, shield) blocking most of their attacks I was making good time through their ranks. Unfortunately they still had some catapults, and apparently they had Donkey Kong in their ranks, because I ended up getting hit by a fucking barrel.

>>20741149
My leg was knocked clean out of its socket. It hurt like hell but I was able to get back up thanks to all the adrenaline. I balanced myself using my spear as a makeshift crutch and marched forward. I could see my two waifus easily now, Kari’s white stood out on the battlefield. I wasn’t close enough to help them though, and they were getting set upon by half a dozen orks. Thankfully though, those orks were taken out by another ork. I should probably mention something I told all of my men. When you run out of real ammo, a number of siege weapons are capable of launching all kinds of things, from scrap metal, to flaming garbage, to the corpses of your enemies. It seemed like my lessons took, because four of those six orks were swept aside by the body of one of their comrades falling from the sky. I was told that the ork matron actually saw that, and that the look on her face was absolutely priceless. With the last two standing orks in total shock at what happened, Ana clawed out one of their throats and I was able to throw my spear into the chest of the other. I reached the girls, grabbed my spear, and we started to make our way to Rydia, since getting her airborne again would give us a much needed advantage.

>>20741155
However, the fighting stopped before we reached her. A horn was sounded from the ork’s side and within a minute all the ork women had turned on the ork men. I didn’t know what was going on and in all honesty I didn’t care, all I knew was I had a chance to make a dash/hobble to Rydia and I took it. I cut through the nets and chains that she hadn’t managed to get free from on her own, then Ana, Kari, and I mounted up and we got airborne. Some type of ceasefire had started on our side; everyone was too in shock from what they were watching to raise their arms against the orks. Even Rydia held back from giving them another strafe, though she did destroy the rest of their siege weapons, especially that giant ballista, she even left the rock under that thing partly melted. After that we watched. We watched as the now all female ork army joined ours without giving us a say in the matter.

>>20741163
That night was, uneasy, to say the least. The orks really did mean it when they said that they wanted to join us. They were only interested in mates that were physically strong, and apparently we passed their test. Though in all honesty if it weren’t for the fact that we were now low on men and that they probably could have killed us if they really wanted too, I doubt we would have accepted them in. Either way, we did our best to make the most of the situation, and had a bit of a party. It wasn’t much, seeing as most people were tired as hell, but the alcohol seemed to do everyone some good. I joined in after Kari (who had gotten pretty cut up herself, but refused to rest whiled there were still people she could heal) set my leg, though all I really did was keep a laptop powered up to play music since walking hurt like hell. At least hearing some music from the Old World seemed to lift people’s spirits a bit. Still can’t believe it was so hard to find Touch Fluffy Tail.

>>20741166
The most shocking part of the night, however, was when one of the ork women that had reached the wall proposed to me. Apparently jumping down 30 feet, breaking a large ladder in half, smashing two guys, and walking it off like it was nothing impressed her. But before I could give her any kind of answer or tell her that I could only do that thanks to my armor, Rydia broke her jaw and told me that if I ever married one of these “invading pests” she would kill me herself (note for Gearheart or anyone else interested in recording non-human behaviors, if you fight a dragon don’t leave a scar, it’s a massive insult and they will never forgive you). It was fine with me, I wasn’t really interested in the ork women since they had killed many of my friends and injured many more. That wasn’t the last time one of them proposed to me. I don’t think they understood the idea of marrying for anything other than strength. I got tired of trying to explain things to them after the first few, so I ended up just telling them that before I would even consider marrying one of them, they would have to beat Rydia in a one on one fight. I never did get proposed to again after that.

>>20741184
and done for now

>>20741184
Ooh very interesting I might have to add a section on dragons.

Do I hear talk of war? Oh what fun. Who will it be with? Mirthterrah? Wonderful, I have been searching for an excuse to travel into their lands. An invasion would make the perfect excuse...I'll just need to find all my preservatives.

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>>20741064
“What’s that supposed to mean?” The Duke’s temper was rising, not a good sign.

“Divines damn you Sam!” Kikki, right on cue, smacked the idiot. “Please forgive the lass, she’s still learning things, like when to keep her mouth shut!” I yelled those last few parts right to her, make sure she knew her place in this. I switched subjects quickly to get off of the topic. “Now, on a slightly related matter, I would like to request the return of Sir Andrew’s Mythril armor and weapons."

“Not a chance. Consider it my price for not killing you the moment you set foot in my castle.” He then pointed at Sam as he rose from his throne. “And for the insult. Now be gone before I change my mind. You have three weeks.”

"Yes, m'Lord, thank you." I gave him an actual bow, something I rarely did, but today it was necessary. Kikki followed, forcing Sam's head down as well.

Samantha was one of the outrealmers, barely more than a child and one of the few girls. She actually dressed like a boy to avoid the looks and being accosted. She had shown talent at diplomancing within the thousand that lived, but she did it more to turn attention from herself than anything. Eventually, Sam asked to be my squire, wanting to do more than slack at Castle Waifu. Something about it being rather suffocating with all the waifus.

>>20741088
Exploration 56, 1 FIIK; Managed to find a decent place for the felim to settle down, a small clearing in the jungle by a large river. As for the felim, they've taken to calling me "Kenyat-Pahoi" or "The Shining Beast" in their language. I've taken a liking to this name and decided to keep it as the name for project Monitor. I'm going to stick around for a while and help them get started on their new civilization before I leave to explore this new-found land of Zendikar in full. New month tomorrow.
Settlement 44, 1 FIIK; Well, it would seem that the felim have finally begun to understand masonry, they finished their first building today! It does concern me a bit though that they elected to immediately go for building a temple (filled with depictions of me no less,) instead of something else, but who am I to judge? On a related note, they seem to have begun the first stages of developing a writing system all by themselves, I can't wait to see what they do with it! Tomorrow is the beginning of the new year, I wonder what's in store for me?

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>>20741272
After we had a modicum of privacy I asked Kikki what she thought. “Well, he means what he says. If he has his daughter and security for his land, he’s got no problems dropping this entirely. It’s not like he’s doing this out of spite or anything.”

“Yeah, too bad Kessel’s going to be a problem to deal with…”

“Think we could station men on the border between their lands? Y’know, show him that invading would be a bad idea.”

“No, they would never allow it, let alone any of our men receive quarter. They don’t take to non-humans around here very well. We could gather some dirt against Kessel. How’s about a little detective work?”

“Sounds good to me!” Espionage! Kikki always liked the more hands on part of diplomacy. I can't say I disagreed much.

I then turned to Sam. “And you, keep your damned mouth shut unless I say otherwise. This isn’t the Blades where you get to talk big with a blade at the throat of some Elf that’s shitting his pants, this is Human politics, much more deadly. That’s why I’m currently the only diplomat from TeeGee. Got it?”

“Yessir…”

“Good, and if you fuck this up for us, you’ll be riding next to me in the Dragoons as we meet Mirthan forces”

“But sir, riding with the Dragoons is considered an honor I thought” She spoke in deadpan sarcasm. The nerve of this girl...

“Yeah, an honor that will kill you. Ready your things, we ride for Kessel Manor in the morning."

It seems we have quite a predicament on our hands gentlemen.

>>20741521
What predicament? I'll just need to alter this man's brain chemistry to be make him incapable of lying. Kessel will confess everything against his own will, loses his land. Problem solved.

Welcome back to the storytime table, as I’ve taken to calling this little section of the “Rogue Trader”. I must say, this little pub almost reminds me of the Old Realm some days… But I digress, I am straying from what you came to hear.

Well after rescuing the slaves and watching their ship burn, the bartender of the pub in that town put us up for free in a room. Turns out those slavers had never paid him, and he still had to serve them. After seeing Tomoe patched up by the local healer and fed a hot meal in the tavern, I escorted her up to the room. Upon opening the door I frowned however. There was but a single bed.
“Miss Tomoe, I take my leave now. I have some things to attend to, and you should get some rest. We ride for TeeGee in the morning, and it is a two week journey by caravan with the girls. They told me that they have completely sold out, and have a full load for the return trade.” I said to her, giving her no chance to respond as I bowed slightly and closed the door.

>>20741557
Rescuing the girl had been easy, but I was chickening out at the prospect of claimed her as a Waifu! One of the few potential Waifus that I had in mind, she was right there and I couldn’t even stay in the same room as her! Well, I needed to clear my head, so I went back downstairs to check on the girls I was supposed to be protecting. They were all fine though, and as I attempted to leave the tavern for a walk the bartender stopped me. He bade me follow him out to the stables and I did so.

Well, out in the stables was an excellent sight. 4 horses and a small caravan sat there, the property of the late slaver crew.
“They owe me money, so you have 5 minutes. Anything you can carry is yours.” The bartender informed me.
I smiled and nodded. I began to ransack their caravan for anything I liked, coming away with several elven daggers, a sabre, a matched Japanese sword pair of Katana/Tanto and a bow of decent make with a full quiver. I also found two cloaks, one a deep maroon and the other midnight blue. The rest of the things were the usual supplies and sundry, of no importance to me at the time. I found the saddle and saddlebags of the slaver leader, and I grabbed that off the railing. I walked with it to the horses, and one of the great beasts clopped forward to meet me, bowing its head to look me in the eyes. I shifted the saddle to one arm and gently patted him. He whinnied softly and nudged me back. I decided then and there that I would also take the horse. He was a great stallion, his coat white as snow as he stood proudly there. He would have to of been the prize horse of a local lord. As I swung the saddle onto his back, the bartender let out a gasp.

>>20741562
“What do you think you’re doing? I said anything you could carry, not one of the horses!” he exclaimed.
“I can carry the saddle, and a saddle belongs to a horse, and a horse to a saddle. Besides, he likes me, and I’d pay good money to see you and the horse have an argument over it. I think he’ll win. I’m leaving you most of the goods anyways, and the caravan only needs a single horse to pull.” I replied.
“Well, fair enough. The caravan is the most use to me, the other two horses I’ll have to sell on anyways. Costs too much to keep ‘em fed, like those slavers.”
“Thank you for the business opportunity, the girls loved this town and plan to make it a regular trip. We’ll be heading off tomorrow.”
“Heh, do not worry about it. You made our town a much safer place.”
“Ahh, it was nothing mate. Anyways, I’m gonna load up me saddlebags and then turn in for the night.” I finished, placing the saddle back upon the rack and giving my new horse a pat. I gathered up my loot and headed upstairs to the room I shared with Tomoe.

Opening the door I entered quietly, trying my best to keep all the swords from clanking together. I set them all down on the table in the corner, arraying them out. I glanced over towards the bed and saw Tomoe half sprawled atop the bed, sound asleep. She had tried to stay awake for my return but she must have been too tired from her ordeals. I softly chuckled and walked over, gently lifting her up and putting her underneath the covers before tucking her in. I moved some of hair out of her face, and she looked so beautiful in the candle light. I gave her a quick kiss on the forehead then pulled away. I had loot to admire!

>>20741521
One I'm quite tempted to leave for tomorrow. Playing this political game is high stakes, which is why I keep telling you all NOT TO FUCK AROUND WITH MIRTHAN NOBILITY UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. It's bad enough that we free their slaves and oppose their entire worldview by our very existence.

>>20741570
With a gleeful smile I checked my prizes. Two of the three elven daggers were in perfect shape, never been used whilst the third was worn, and had seen a good life. I already had an elven dagger of my own, but it was old and shabby so I replaced it with one of the new daggers. The sabre was of a simple design yet of sturdy make with a sharp blade. It looked to be a light cavalry sabre, and would do perfectly for me whilst I was on horseback. I moved to the bow next, and as I strung it I remembered that it would easily have been half a decade since I had shot a bow back in the Old Realm. It felt good enough, and the arrows were all of good quality, around 40 in the quiver.

As I unstrung the bow and placed it down, the last weapons to check were the matched sword pair. I hadn’t seen anybody outside us Harem Knights back at TeeGee with a Katana before, and except for my own that came with me from the Old Realm, they were all the best copies that our smiths could create. But this katana I had looted, well, it looked like the real deal, and felt like it too. I drew the sword and marvelled in the craftsmanship shown in it, the blade razor sharp and the curve elegant. It had characters that were very close to Japanese running about a quarter of the way up the blade, but I can’t read Japanese so it mattered little to me. Sheathing the katana I put it down and picked up the Tanto. It had the same marks of craftsmanship upon it, and after a bit I put it back too. The cloaks were magnificently soft and warm, both clean and without wear. I claimed the maroon one and decided to give the blue one to Tomoe in the morning, along with the paired katana.

>>20741297
Jaka 16, 10 FIIK; Well, its been about ten years since I first found this continent and ten years since I first met the felim here. Sadly, I'm beginning to feel that all too familiar wanderlust again and it's about time for me to set out and explore. The tribe I first met a decade ago has become a fledgling civilization and I feel they no longer need my guidance. As for Jaka, shes become the high priestess of their new religion and De-facto leader of the city. I told her today in private that I had to leave the city, but I would definitely be back. She took it rather well all things considered and told me to wait one week before leaving. I don't know what she's planning but knowing her, its probably going to be good.
Jaka 23 10 FIIK; Whelp, I found out what Jaka was planning over the past week. At the break of dawn she called the entire town to the temple and declared that today would be a day long goodbye celebration for me. Talk about leaving in style!
Exploration 12, 18 FIIK; Reached the other coast today, beginning to head north.
Civilization 6, 31 FIIK; Reached a mountain range today, decided to head south instead of trying to pass by it
Ymgarl 17, 46 FIIK; Fucking bird stole all my maps, decided to give up and head back to the felim.
Zendikar 22, 55 FIIK; made it back to the felim city, Jaka was ecstatic to see me, even moreso than the general populace. The first thing she did when she managed to track me down (and declared today to be a day of celebration) is show me her litter of kids, all of which are currently in various stages of the priesthood. She even had some grand kids to show me, that was definitely a suprise!

>>20741552
Tempting, VERY tempting, but no. He's still got the right to speak his mind (what little there is), and any tampering that is done could be used against us, saying "you altered him to say what you wanted". Too much trouble. Better to catch him in a lie while under oath.

>>20741552
We have been over this before. No acts of unquestionable evil nature. Only slight questionable actions are allowed.

>>20741577
Thinking of morning, I realized I needed to get some sleep. Without even a thought I pulled the chair over to a corner facing the door and tried to get comfortable in it. I used my new cloak as a blanket and closed my eyes, letting sleep overtake me.

I awoke before the dawn, as was my custom from being a Guardsman of Castle Waifu during our early days. Reveille is something that I drilled into the Guardsmen very quickly, along with the Stand To. The enemy always aims to attack at Dawn or Dusk, when the men are asleep or distracted by dinner and sleep, just as back in the Old Realm. Oh look, I’m rambling again, heh. Back to the story then!

As I roused myself from my slumber Tomoe continued to doze, so peacefully. I headed downstairs to the bathroom and washed myself off, feeling much better afterwards. I entered the main bar, and found the bartender awake as well. I dropped a few coins onto the table and asked him if he had any bacon, eggs and toast. He chuckled and finished his mug of coffee before heading out to the kitchen. 10 minutes later I was heading back upstairs with a tray laden with delicious smells of breakfast. Juggling the tray and the door, I got it open and walked into the room.

“TADAIMA!” I shouted gleefully.
Tomoe must have jumped about six feet high and thrashed about in the covers, becoming an entangled mess. I set the tray down on the table and roared with laughter as she fumed and glared daggers at me even as she attempted to free herself.
“Y-You BAKA! How dare you scare me like that!” she roared at me, causing me to laugh even harder.
“I-I-I brought breakfast…” I managed to wheeze out as I fell back into the chair.
Her stomach rumbled in response to my words, causing me to fall into a fresh bout of laughter.
“It’s like my Anime is happening all on its own! MY SIDES!” I cried out, unable to stop laughing so hard.

>>20741591
Tomoe fixed that for me, finally getting out of bed and smacking me upside the head.
“You baka, you didn’t have to bring me breakfast you know…” she said as the anger dissipated from her voice.
“Implying I brought it up for you, nah it’s to share.” I said quickly, smirking.
The table still covered in swords and loot, we glanced at the bed and moved the tray over to it, eating on the soft covers. I finished first, quite hungry from last night. I got up and moved over to the table, picking up the cloak and katana pair. I sat back down with the katana pair wrapped in the cloak.

“Miss Tomoe, we shall be leaving for my home, TeeGee today. You are free to come with me and live in the castle if you don’t have anywhere else you’d rather go. We haven’t spoken much at all and I barely know you, but I’d like you to have these.” I said as I gave her the bundle.
She didn’t say a word as she unwrapped the bundle and saw the swords. Her eyes welled up with tears and she flung her arms around me, drawing me into a massive hug.
“Arigato! Arigato arigato arigato! Where did you find my swords?”
“Last night the bartender and I made a business deal, I got to pick through the slavers crap they left in their caravan, and got the left overs. I made a little haul, they didn’t have a lot of things worth anything. No clothes or anything that might have been yours, but I did get my own horse as well.” I replied as I hugged her back.
“My swords were the only things I managed to keep on me when they attacked and separated me from my Aunt. We were travelling to her home after my family were all murdered in an attack by a Duke’s men.” She sobbed, now crying into my shoulder.
“There there, it’s okay, it’s all over now, I’ve got you….” Was all I could think to say to the crying Kitsune in my arms.

>>20741595
Tomoe finished crying and looked up at me with those big blue eyes of hers.
“Will you keep me safe, Sir Kasai?”

“Forever and always Tomoe Mio.”

She kissed me, and my mind went blank. When she broke the kiss I just sat there stunned until she playfully hit me in the shoulder.
“Sir Kasai, do you have a first name?”
“Uhh, arble garble wort wort blarg. Uhm, that’s not it.” I said as I blushed bright fuckin’ red.
“My name in the Old Realm was Jake. I like Kasai though. It fits me, fire being red and all.”
“Hmmm…. How about Akane? It means red, and Red Fire is a fitting name for you.” Tomoe suggested.
“I like it.”
“Akane’s a girl’s name baka! Tee hee hee!” the Kitsune said as she descended into a fit of giggles.
“I don’t care, it was given to me by someone who loves me, and that’s all that matters.”

It was Tomoe’s turn to go bright red.
“I-I-I don’t l-love you b-baka!” She said in a huff, crossing her arms and looking away from me.
I gently reached over and turned her head back to face me.
“Really? I know a Tsundere when I see one. Hot and cold mentality, Suspiciously Specific Denials, the works. You love me.” I retorted.
“I don’t love you, I’m just showing you the same affection I would anybody who rescues me from a ship full of heavily armed slavers.”
“You mean like trying to stay up to get me into bed?” I teased.
Tomoe went an even brighter shade of red.
“T-There’s only one bed! I c-couldn’t have asked y-you to sleep on the f-f-floor!” she stuttered.

Oh Gods she’s so cute when she stutters.

>>20741606
“Hahahahaha, it’s all good, I slept in the chair anyways. I’ve got morals ya know. Sleeping with a girl on the first date let alone the day you meet em is bad. Come on, time to get ready and wake the others, we’ve got a long trip back to Castle Waifu.”

We readied ourselves and made our way downstairs. I waved to the bartender and thanked him for his hospitality. Outside the girls were still sleeping in the caravan. Tomoe and I looked at each other with feral grins on our faces. I liked her already, she thought like I did!

“TADAIMA!” We shouted gleefully, scaring the crap out of all three merchantwomen.

Tomoe and I both laughed our arses off as the three girls threw insults at us. I informed them it was time to set off and they all grumbled, attempting to go back to sleep. Tomoe and I left them be, heading over to the stables. I saddled up my new horse, who seemed happy to get on the road. I then got the girls horse and hitched her up to their caravan. I pointed at the driving seat and Tomoe hopped up and took the reins. She watched me intently as I made to mount my horse.

I patted him as I realized I had yet to name him. “Can you go fast mate?” I asked the horse.
He nodded his head and stamped a hoof as if he could understand my words. I took this as a good omen and put my foot in the saddle and swung myself up into the seat.

>>20741585
Bah! I never get to have any fun.

>>20741612
“Then run, Shadowfax, and show us the meaning of haste.”

Well, fuck me did he go. It had been a decade since I’d ridden a horse, but you never forget that sorta stuff. Tomoe gave her reins a shake and the caravan took off after me, and even as Shadowfax went hell for leather I could hear the startled screams of the girls over Tomoe’s laughter. After a good run, Shadowfax and I stopped and trotted back to the caravan.

“This is going to be a fun two weeks, eh?” I said as we met up with the girls.

Actually, it wasn’t. Nope. Quiet trip back, well, I got to know Tomoe pretty good and her me. I explained a lot about TeeGee to her, along with help from the girls. No bandits on the trails, no slavers, nothing. When we got back to Castle Waifu I found it had grown a little in the month we had been gone.

>>20741625
I greeted Sir Giovanni, Captain of the Guard as he took a turn to stand watch at the gates. He smiled at me as I rode in on Shadowfax, with Tomoe riding shotgun with me.
“Where is Sir Virgil? I must see him now.” I asked Sir Giovanni.
“In the Guild hall they built, down the main road, third right, smallish building.” He directed.
“Tell the Guard, and warn any Knights leaving. Slavers to the West.” I said before riding off.

I told Sir Virgil the same thing, forewarned is forearmed I’ve always said.

Then I took Tomoe on a grand tour of the Castle and Town before we ended up at my humble house. I was glad that I’d thought to build a small stable alongside the house, and I set Shadowfax up for the night. I found that my neighbours had taken care of the house just like I’d asked them to, I’d have to pay them back for their awesome bro-ness later. The fireplace was stacked, but I had couldn’t find any flint or matches. Tomoe quickly caught on and simply lit the logs on fire with her magic.

I spluttered, having somewhat forgotten Kitsune were literal Firefox. She smiled, and dragged me off to the bedroom before I could do anything else, muttering something about “Getting a good brushing done”.

All I could do was hum a tune from the Old Realm, called Touch Fluffy Tail.

And that young lad, is the story of how my first Waifu fell in love with me.

>>20741617
You could look into humans with magical resistance. I have run into a few over the times, tend to be exemplars of health also. Like that Brent the Titan kid.

Bluh. Real tempted to write something up. Maybe an adventure on the high seas?

Just how much has been stated on the seas and the lands across them? Looking at the map, the only "foreign" land we've got are the Snarletooth isles, and there are apparently pirates at the Free Kingdoms, but I don't think there's been any solid information on just how far their travels extend.

God I'm a slow writefag...
>>20740680
As I turned around, one of the orks who had infiltrated the city stumbled in through the stores shattered door, catching sight of me and the two lamia’s in the forge room. He gave me a funny look, probably wondering why I was red and with steam rolling off me; it lasted half a second before he charged at me, rearing his battle axe behind him in an attempt to cleave me in two. I held my ground as he charged, lifting my arm catching the axe head on the back of my forearm; it barely even broke the dense layer of skin. I pushed his battleaxe aside while taking advantage of his confused state, stepped forward, threw my fist out and caved in the bastards face. His skull now a bowl of red and green goop, the orks body fell like a ragdoll. Thankfully, I was right in assuming that an increased muscular density would allow me to strike with immense force. I ignored the blood that was boiling on my fist as I turned to Fithrin, who gazed on me with utter disbelief. She was still in shock from what was happening, and after watching me stick my hands in a forge and punch clean through an ork’s skull, it looked like she could barely process what was taking place.

I tried to comfort her with a smile, speaking softly as I closed the door to the forge room.

“Stay hidden. It will be over soon.”

How did I do? any pointers on my writing style?

I forgot to mention, but that story happened probably about a month after we attacked the Elves.

>>20741666
All most none, there are pirates though. I do plan to do a bit there myself later. But yeah if you want to forge some canon then the sea is a great place that can use fleshing out

>>20741666
Naval technology isn't as such where you can just cross the seas. Besides, the Great Sea is very stormy and windy. Exploration beyond there is ill advised by current technology and magic.

God dammit, guys. I'm about to go to bed and you guys start all this awesome shit.

Well, I'll have something to look forward to in the morning.

I will write something tomorrow for sure. I seem to certainly be one of the least productive of the writers here, and I feel like I should step it up.

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>>20741720
Well, that was my second story, but Word tells me I have written 5000 words so far for both stories.

I still have to write another 2 stories at least, for two more Waifus.

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>>20741745
Helps if I put up the final, not a random wip I had lying around....

>>20741701
Set the start a little more firmly I wasn't quiet sure what all was going on at first. Also I don't mean to rain on your parade but I think toning down the use of the baka. It felt forced and over used

>>20741767
Cools, I'm still unsure of implementing anime-styled stuff into my writing.

I was aiming more to get that Tsundere impression without having Tomoe beat the shit out of Sir Kasai or something similar.

Anyone know how to link to an archived thread post?
>>20741672
For then, I knew she would be safe. There was only one entrance into the building, so all I had to do was clear the way and keep any ork from coming in. Okris and Holgof were holding their own outside, having cleared up most of the assault force already. There was one that gave them trouble, however. An ork that towered above the rest, covered from head to toe in full, spiked plate armor and wielding a war hammer the size of my body. Even if I could not see his face, the way he fought alone against a magic wielding Felim and a dwarf was enough to conclude it; he was the leader of this group of infiltrators.

Now, I’m usually one who hate’s conflict. My very nature is passive, and I usually liked to offer peaceful solutions to conflicts. In any other circumstance, I would have called out the leader, told him to get lost, and get ready to kill him if he didn’t. But seeing the fear in that woman’s eyes, feeling both her and her daughters shivers while I healed the wound, knowing that these orks would have slaughtered the both of them without quarrel…well, let’s just say I didn’t feel very peaceful that moment.

As the leader pulled back his warhammer to take another swing at Holgof, I rushed forward and tackled the fully plated bastard with all my strength. A few of his armor’s spikes broke off from the force, though one actually managed to pierce my side a bit. We were thrown across the street, through a building, and tumbled together into the main courtyard in front of Castle Waifu.

>>20741767
Yeah, the Gratuitous Japanese made it feel really weeaboo. Let's avoid that shit if we can.

>>20741791
You can use words like "Moron", "Jackass", "Asshole", and "Stupid" to equal affect. I for one favor "Aho" with Japanese insult words, but English is just as flexible and does the same stuff.

>>20741797
Just post the url

Working on the resolution to this little incident. I hope you won't be disappointed!

>>20741799
Got it.

So I can't decide.... Next Waifu, Holstuarus, or Lamia?

>>20741791
There is an old saying when it comes to writing, show don't tell. Have her act tsundere in a more elegant way.
"Damn it Kasai, you didn’t have to bring me breakfast you know I am not incapable even if you think I am... but uh... thanks for that."

"“What the hell! How dare you scare me like that! And what did I tell you about bringing me breakfast.... I'm sorry for yelling at you just please think before you act. It would make you, you know more likable."

Dear lord, we are already up to eight. I just can't keep track of this. It's growing at an exponential rate, soon it'll be a setting large and detailed enough to rival anything we have ever seen.

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>>20741473
After asking around the town surrounding Kessel Manor, we discovered that the good Duke of the castle was recruiting carpenters and stone masons. The why was still something we couldn’t figure out until we managed to break into Kessel’s planning room from the cliff-side window. The new compound bow the Hole had finally finished for me was excellent for getting the line where we needed it, and before the end of the first week, we were ready to confront the Duke with his plans to not only invade Renwald’s lands, but to build fortifications to prevent counterattack. Currently they were banking on war with TeeGee. We made copies of the plans and Kikki made all haste to Midyahs to get it into the hands of Sir Wally, who while a weak diplomat, was good at taking notes for me to use when I need to keep up with court life in the City of Gold, though honestly most of it was boring as shit. At least he’s good cutting through all the crap.

But I digress. Sam and I were walking up, we had an appointment. “Don’t forget, keep your trap shut and observe. I’ll ask if you have any observations after our initial discussion. We’re walking on eggshells here, but we have an upper hand.”

The doors to Duke Kessel’s study opened before us by a Felim maid who gave me the strangest look of warmth. Good thing Kikki wasn’t there, she might have objected. “Ambassador. I’d say what a surprise but you’ve been near my manor for nearly a week now, correct? Why not ask of my hospitality?” his voice carrying just enough sarcasm. He was toying with us.

>>20741860
I guess I should clarify, Baka is an easy shortcut that fills forced, don't take the short cut actually do the work. Also while violence shouldn't be used try some thing that has the character act not just speak. Like for some reason shes real mad, then have her cause a little trouble or maybe not talk to him, or talk in a very abrupt or curt manner.

>>20741895
An excerpt from An Outlanders Guide to Indigenous Species volume I, Dragons: Dragons are capable of shape shifting, they have a dragon form, a human form, and a form that looks like a human with wings, claws, tail, and horns. They are highly possessive of anything they deem valuable, usually treasures, but people and places can qualify too. Their love for value leads to them being naturals at negotiating especially when it comes to money. When haggling with a dragon it is best to just get it over with, but don't make it obvious they don't like it when you make it obvious.
Dragons come in a wide variety of colors, the color seems to have a effect on their ranking in a way. Dragons are strong willed and hard headed thought so just because a dragon was of a high rank color does not mean that a lower rank will let its self be walked on. This is because dragons value power almost as much as they did value.

>>20741914
Another thing that dragons value highly is I guess you could say style. Looking ones best at all times, some times to the point of OCD like behavior patterns. As such scaring a dragon is not a wise thing to do for it’s a massive insult and they will never forgive you for it. Even if you repair the scar with magic. On the topic of Dragon dispositions, never ever let them know you doubt them rather it be in skill or in fact. Dragons do not take kindly to being second guessed. Its not as bad as scaring a dragon, but one tends to be better of not on the bad side of dragons.
Dragons of course lay eggs and have various lizard like features. They also breath elements. Fire being the most common. Dragons also have what I have labeled a high Blood Potency, which has to do with the whole Blood Sorcery thing. Dragons have a strong history of magic in their linage and as such most dragons can preform powerful acts of magic with out any sort of training.
Dragons have four age states. Egg, Youngling or Wyrmling, Adult, and Ancient. Egg incubation time varies on health of the mother and surrounding temperature, it tends to be around a year. The Youngling stage lasts from hatching till adult hood. Adult hood is when they are able to breath what ever element that they would breath. At the Ancient stage, their blood magic potency reaches peak levels and their ability in the area of magic grows by leaps and bounds.

>>20741578
Jaka 16, 65 FIIK; Its been 55 years since I first left the felim, and unfortunately, it's time for me to leave them again. I approached Jaka about it and the conversation went much as it did last time, but I could sense something else, something she was trying to hide. She was getting old at this point and wasn't likely going to live much longer and we both knew it, so, I told her everything. About, earth, about coming here, about Teegee, about castle waifu, everything. The last thing that I told her though was to not worry, for that even in death I wouldn't abandon her, and "I'll make sure to come visit her in the afterlife". She spent the rest of the night crying like she was when I first met her, and I was there the entire time comforting her.
Jaka 23, 65 FIIK; Well, I left today, to go back to Teegee, but make no mistake I will return, and I WILL keep my promise to Jaka.
??? 12, 66 FIIK; I made it back to Teegee, or at least the neighboring country (never could pronounce that). I think I might have seen an army camp earlier today too, maybe there's a war going on? You know, know that I think about it, it looked kid of like we were sieging something... Ill have to check it out tomorrow.

This Journal was found abandoned on the mangled corpse of one of the defenders of Renwald keep during the seige in Sun's height of 142 AA, also known as "the miracle of Renwald". On the wall next to where the journal a message was found written in the defender's blood, the message read "EVEN IN DEATH I SERVE".

>>20741921
Oh dear lord, so we have a rought time frame now till how long it takes till TeeGee rapes the shit out of every thing.

>>20741819
Thanks again!

Also last post for the night, guys; another fucking cliffhanger. So if you guys could tell me how I'm holding up so far, I'd appreciate the critique.

>>20741797
With a heave, the ork managed to throw me off of him, as heavy as I was at that moment. Stumbling back to my feet, I charged at him again as he stumbled to his own feet. From there, we began to trade blows. His hammer was heave and swift in his hand, so the shear blunt force of it was enough to cause heavy bruising on my condensed body. Still, I was moving as fast as I usually could without the constraint of normal protection, so it was easier to move in fast and put several deep dents into his armor. It continued like that for around a minute; I couldn’t find an opening that would assure an instant win, and safely retaining all the heat in my body became dangerously hard.

Finally, I got a lucky blow in. As he swung the warhammer across the ground to trip me, I jumped up and struck him in the side of the head. The blow managed to knock his helmet off, revealing his shaved and scarred head in all its glory. Most importantly, however, a direct opening to his body had opened up, and I was going to take full advantage of it.

>>20741823
Moonfolk.

>>20741823
There has been a good bit written about both, but Lamias could use a little fleshing out of character. As Jay gave us an amazing look into the world of the Holstuarus. But what ever you want to do man.

>>20741921
If anyone wants, I could elaborate a bit on the miracle of renwald, just say the word.
On that note, what did you guys think of the writefaggotry?

>>20742001
Hmm, a bit of framework for the Lamia...

Well, Dem scales man....

Okay, so I'm thinking they should be from the south, lizards love heat, so the deserts make perfect sense.
Couple of small towns, not very aggressive (We are going more for Moe Lamia, correct?), traders and artisans?

I dunno, I was gonna write one more story of Waifuing and then jump into a battle story. Someone has to fight at the gates during the Ork attack.

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>>20741894
Two can play at that game. “Well, I’m sure you’re aware of the tensions between my nation and yours, particularly with your neighbor duchy. We just wanted for you to be sure that Marieth is quite alive and well and will be returning to Mirthterrah soon.”

“Oh? Certainly you didn’t come to stay in my humble town for a whole week simply to tell me this, which is frankly not much of my business.” He raised an eyebrow. Though there was grey in his hair, Duke Kessel still looked quite youthful, but there was something slimy about him.

“How very observant. No, we are also here to tell you that your jig is up. We’ve discovered hard evidence that you wish to invade Duke Renwald’s land, and that this pressure is forcing him to scapegoat the nation of TeeGee into a senseless war. This wouldn’t sit very well with the Jarls, don’t you agree?”

“Oh~! How scandalous~! What evidence do you have of this Ambassador, for this is a very serious allegation.” The sarcasm in his tone was as thick as a Giant tall. This was strange, he was still toying with us?

Anybody remember that Pokegirls thing?
You're right in the middle of it.
Enjoy your stay.

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>>20742089
I took out the copy and showed him the blueprints and battleplans. “It’s only a copy, but the originals are on their way to Midyahs as we speak. Soon the whole realm will know of your treachery and frankly, I’m glad. However, we can spare you some embarrassment, for if I were to send communiqué to my comrade riding East, she’ll tear up the plans on the spot and not bother to pass them along to those who will end you. If I were to contact her otherwise, you might find the armies of Mirthterrah on your doorstep rather than mine.” Check. Your move Kessel.

“Oh my, that certainly would be a terrible thing. If I didn’t know for a fact that my seal is not on those documents.”

“. . .” damn, he was right. “We found them in your study, and they’re marked for a future date, not some shelved former plans. They’ll never believe-.”

“Who will they not believe Sir knight? Because I’m not completely sure, but your word is kind of mud compared to mine. You’re an aggressor nation which is holding one of our daughters for ransom. They won’t believe your slander for a moment. But they will believe mine. I’m not so stupid as to put my mark on things I don’t want associated with me, but you people just can’t seem to help it.” He giggled. He was convinced he had us. As was I.

“Try as you might, you will not be able to escape your fate, and I will have my destiny. Renwald’s land, his daughter, and a pesky, upstart of self-declared knights out of my hair forever. I don’t think I could ask for anything better.”
“Well, we could just kill you”

I would like to note - excellent story in previous thread Britfag!

Gives me somebody with more refined taste, not insulting any of you. I don't have anything against making pizzas, fries and hamburgers every third day. Really. Absolutely.

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>>20742182
Sam had been in the corner for a while. I had not noticed her fidgeting, wanting to speak up. What she said she just blurted out, almost like a burp or a hiccup.

“What?” Duke Kessel seemed more angered than amused. “So you’re resorting to idle threats now I see. It still won’t change things, you stupid girl. I WILL see your cities burn.”

Before I could stop her, Sam spoke again. “But it’s not an idle threat. Killing you would solve all of our problems.”

“How DARE you speak to me like that you insole-”

“Your heir, your nephew, right? I talked to him while investigating your motives. He didn’t seem like he wanted much more than he was in line for. If anything we was greatful to be in line for anything.”

“What are you getting at, girl?”

It… it made sense. I spoke up. “No, no, she has a point. If you die, so does your ambition, and thus Duke Renwald’s problems.”

“You fools! You’d risk open war? You think kidnapping a noblewoman, but killing a Duke!? You’re mad!”

>captcha: Splintere affairs

>damned field length

>>20742283
“There’s nothing to say that we’d do it ourselves right here, you disarmed us at the door anyway. More likely, we’ll get specialized forces to do it,” I mused.

“What?”

Sam spoke. “You know that large slave caravan that was found dead a few clicks north of here? Rockslide killed all the slavers and guards, but mysteriously, the Kanin slaves themselves were nowhere to be found. The cage wagon that held them was wide open and no Kanin bodies were found at the site. Curious thing that is.”

“I’m still not following” Kessel was denser than he looked.

“Well, it could be something as simple as an accident. A stray arrow during a hunt, being taken upon by bandits and brigands on the road, it could just be some bad food poisoning. There are lots of ways to kill someone and make it seem like an accident.”

>>20742285

Ha ha ha! Time for politics!

>>20742154
The fuck? I have no idea of you're talking about bub

>>20742334
i get the feeling it's better that way
polite sage

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>>20742285
I could see the color drain from Kessel’s face. I just had to rub it in. “You know Sam, I’m done trying to convince him to do things the reasonable way. We’ll just send the order in to terminate” I began walking for the door, motioning for my squire to follow.

“Wait!” Kessel snapped. “Guards, seize them!”

“That won’t help very much, Sam’s quite capable with sending magic”

“Then I’ll kill her!” He mad? He mad. Kessel drew his sword.

“Oh, that would be great, murder a diplomat right after it’s uncovered that you’re trying to steal Duke Renwald’s land. I’m sure that would do wonders for your word versus mine.” It shocked me that phrase came out of Sam’s mouth and not mine, all while staring down a blade.

The confusion, anger, and frustration that contorted his mouth was priceless. “FINE!” He yelled as though a child having a temper tantrum. “Tell Lord Renwald that he can keep his damned land AND his ugly bitch of a daughter. I’ll have nothing to do with either of them anymore!” Guards! Escort them out with their things." He turned to his fire and seemed to pout like a slighted child.

“Don’t worry, Kessel. We’ll be watching to make sure you meant that!” I called back. Nothing like some good, brutally honest diplomancing.

>>20742340
No, no, now I'm curious.

>>20742350

Ha ha ha! DIPLOMACY, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!

It's Crusader Kings all over again.

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>>20742350
As soon as we got outside: “Alright, Send to Kikki, tell her to meet me in Midyahs, I want you to go to Castle Renwald with all speed and tell him the good news. Marieth is on the road and should be there in a couple of days. Beat her there.”

“Wait, wait, what’s all this about?” Sam was curious. Understandably so, normally I’d do the legwork and get my own ass there.

I sigh. “I was wrong. You are ready. You do sometimes need to work on your tact, but that little display… well it showed me that you know to wield the big stick and talk softly to match. Thanks. You really saved our collective asses in there.”

“Well, I’m touched, but you’re not even going to come along?”

“Oh hell no, I need a fucking vacation.” I took off my broach, my symbol of office, a simple broach with the D20 sigil of TeeGee with two crossed olive branches underneath. “I’ve been wearing that stupid pin for almost five years. I hereby declare you, Lady Samantha of the Grove, as diplomat for the nation of TeeGee and all it entails. Keep the pin, I have more at home. Finally, I don’t have to do all this shit myself.” I whistled for my horse, hopped on, and then rode into the sunset.

And then I turned around because I needed to go East, not West.

- From Diplomancing the Stone: an Ambassador's Guide to Political Hardball

>>20742466

Fucking Awesome tale sir, be proud. Will there be more in this little arc any time soon?

I might do some more writing tomorrow, but in the meantime, I need sleep. Someone make sure to add my crap to the wiki before I get back okay?

>>20742466

Too fast ending for my liking. Kinda messed up the momentum.

Overall it's gold.

Ok, first time posting something of this length anywhere so bear with any mistakes.

So, you want a story do you? Some tale of gallant Teegee knights vanquishing a den of monsters and finding their waifus?

Of course you do, no one ever wants to hear about how hundreds died during those first hard years. How men expired smelling like shit with an Ork blade in their gut,

or simply went missing without a trace in the forest, fucking knife eared cunts… Fine, you’ll get a story, but it won’t be a happy one.

It’s been years now, but once I rode with a group of knights, well I call them that but only our commander Cyric was a knight, the rest of us were a ragtag assortment of scouts and footmen.

Stop asking questions brat, I was about to answer that one anyways, I call them knights because each and every one among them was promoted posthumously as a token of respect to the ‘waifus’ that they left behind.

>>20742539
Cyric never let the boys bring waifus with the company when we went ranging. He felt it was too distracting for the men, and too dangerous, that incident with the feral drider…

We spent hours just cutting them down… But I digress, I am not talking about the beginnings of our group tonight, tonight is a story of the end.

Like many other small groups, our orders were to investigate points of interest, mostly based off of legends gleaned from the locals involving some artifact or hidden treasure.

Shortly after the conflict with the orcs, our ragtag band was sent to a small isolated human village at the foot of the range of mountains that belong to the dwarfs.

It was a fairly low priority assignment, we were really just sent out to establish contact and see about the possibility of negotiating trade agreements for some of the rarer medicinal herbs that grow in the mountains.

>>20742518
It's almost 5am and I just broke 3k words on it. Cut me some slack. I pushed the ending through because the small details weren't really what mattered. Besides, it's all dialog and my dialog style tends to be minimalist, so it'll seem faster than it actually is.

>>20742561
The village turned out to be the most inhospitable frozen burg you could imagine. Hard looking men with axes and hoes stopped their work to stare at us as we passed, one or two of them pointing two fingers at the ground and spitting if we hailed them.

We never even saw the women or children, doors and shutters slammed shut as we rode into the town proper, in the marketplace they had a cadge elevated on a pole with the desiccated corpse of what I think must have been a young holstarious, truly charming.

It took hours for the village leader to even agree to meet with us and from what I saw of Cyrics beat red face as stormed into the tavern late that night negotiations had been a waste of time.

But he was determined to make sure this ranging was not a complete disaster and finally managed to get a traveling merchant who was clearly no local talking by buying him a few rounds.

>>20742573
The merchant confided that he had been trading with these misfits for years and the price their medicinal herbs fetched in the southern cities was the only thing keeping him coming back.

Anyways, a couple years ago the merchant had somehow managed to get the locals to trade him a few documents concerning local folktales and legends, something about them not having enough of the medicine he had come for that season.

The merchant had glanced them over, determined that they were more or less worthless; the idea of anthropology has decidedly not caught on in this world for obvious reasons, and was delighted to hear that our captain was interested in purchasing them, and he did.

That night Cyric’s candle could be seen burning under his door until the dawn came and when it did, he roused us proclaiming that a nearby ruin in the mountain might hold some items of interests if the village had not scoured it clean already.

>>20742572

Now, now, your dialogue isn't minimalist. To me it's right where it should be - not too much, not too little.

You just broke up the tempo. The build-up for the climax of the story was good, but you drop was too sudden. Think of story as parabola - it should be smooth, without sudden drops.

I like your style, it was all great, but just that ending. I had problems with it too, so I know when I see one.

>>20742587
When we finally secured the entrance to the ruins the sun was already high overhead though it offered no warmth in that desolate place. Before we entered the captain finally told us what he had read in the papers he had purchased.

About two centuries past the ruins had been the stronghold of a high vampire who was referred to by the Elves of that era as what translates to “The Lady” in their tongue.

Apparently she had a cult following comprised mostly of elves and humans who had forsaken both their races and the sun to serve her by acting as guards, spies, and slavers regularly sent out to capture more ‘initiates’ and food for their mistress.

When her mountain stronghold was finally discovered a surprising joint force of elves, dwarfs, and men came and killed everything that moved inside,

just goes to show that even in this world when real monsters show up the ‘civilized’ will stop killing each other just long enough to kill it instead.

>>20742611
After the vampire lord was killed the coalition immediately fell apart and indiscriminate looting and killing turned the ruin into a mass grave that was never sealed as was the intent.

So in we went torches in one hand, weapons in the other and began our decent. The first few hours were nothing special, the men were afflicted by the typical nerves you get when exploring dark dusty halls with every expectation that something is in the darkness just out of sight that very badly wants to eat you.

But on the whole apart from some remarkably well preserved mummies and a few spiders the size of terriers we found nothing more than some baubles on the occasional corpse. As we went further things got…Stranger…

>>20742627
Odd sounds coming from the dark, the stirring of a cobweb with no wind to move it. In some places lights danced with slow swaying motions as if beckoning, follow them and they’d quickly disappear leaving you one step from an abyss.

Literal mountains of corpses piled on top of each other in front of doors as if they’d died running from something. Some of the men started complaining about seeing things in the corner of their eye that would vanish as soon as they tried to focus on it.

Nerves and tensions were high and it was clear that Cyric was contemplating turning back as this place was obviously more than the ten of us had bargained for, the men were muttering to one another about how long it would be before the half imagined haunts became something more sinister.

Cyric decided that we would turn back and camp in a clear room we had come across about an hour ago as trying to descend the mountain at night would be paramount to suicide, if the cold didn’t kill us, any number of other things would.

>>20742648
So that night we laid out our cots in silence and the men fell into a fitful sleep while I got first watch. The silence was grinding, it felt like the walls of that place were watching everything I did and hated me for being alive.

Here in the light of the sun with the fresh air flowing in your lungs it sounds paranoid, but that place… I’ve never felt anything like it before or since, being there made you feel like you were drowning.

Like the blood was pooling behind your eyes and would come spilling out any moment. Like there was someone standing right behind you, breathing on your neck and if you turned to look they would be there, so you didn’t turn.

Back in the old world, there is a phenomenon associated with sleeping, with nightmares, and with curse magic we called voodoo. We called it ‘The Witch is Riding You’ and you dream that a specter sits upon your chest, tormenting you as you lie paralyzed unable to scream or move in your half awakened state.

What happened to the sleeping brothers was not that, but it is the closest I can think of. It must have been near the witching hour when I heard the men start to murmur and groan in their sleep, first a few, and then more, and then everyone.

>>20742662
I grew concerned and began to speak to rouse them when I saw a figure like black smoke moving among the sleepers. As soon as I saw it I froze, I could not move, I could not speak.

The breath in my lungs stagnated while my ears were filled with a hollow ringing noise. As She moved from sleeper to sleeper She would reach down and caress his brow, almost gently, before moving on to the next.

I call it ‘She’ because by that point my brain had registered in a stuttering fashion that the black smoke figure was wearing a gown and had a vague female shape. When She reached Cyric and touched him all the blood seemed to drain from his face, he began to hyperventilate and shiver uncontrollably like one afflicted with hypothermia.

After what seemed hours she withdrew her hand and seemed to crouch down and whisper in his ear, all this happened while I could do nothing but watch. At some point She was simply gone and the men began to calm down.

I went to Cyric and shook him awake, and upon his waking he calmly told me to rouse the men, that we had to leave this area and head for a more defendable location deeper in the ruins.

Confused and afraid I did as I was ordered without question, as the men bitched and cursed me for having woken them far too early, faint sounds began to drift toward us from the direction of the ruins entrance.

Is anyone out there?
>>20742682
Cyric sternly ordered for silence and announced that the villagers had followed us to ambush us upon exiting the ruins.

When we failed to come back they decided to wait for us to sleep before finding and murdering us for whatever valuables we might have found.

There were at least 40 of them, ill equipped for combat but still strong men and with four times our number more than enough to kill us in a direct confrontation.

Our only option, our leader declared, was to go deeper into the ruins and secure a location that could serve as a choke point that would not leave us in a deathtrap

in the event that these hicks decided that fighting us wouldn’t be worth the trouble and simply sat by the door and waited for us to starve.

The men were confused about how or why Cyric knew all this, and I who knew something decided to say nothing.

We broke camp quickly but by the time we moved out the sounds were getting louder, it quickly became apparent that the strange echoes of the hallways had carried some

sounds that we had made in packing our gear to our would be murderers and they had abandoned stealth in favor of a faster pursuit.

>>20742712
I am reading, you are doing awesome.

>>20742712
For several hours we marched deeper into the ruin navigating dark passages and evaluating and rejecting room after room as a viable defensive point.

Finally we reached a large chamber at the end of a very narrow corridor of about twenty feet in length, two men could stand together in that space,

but only if turned sideways and it became clear that we could not hope to find a better choke point. While a few men piled debris to form a makeshift wall the rest of us explored the vast expanse of the room.

With our torches we could not see anything in the gloom but the colossal support pillars as well as a fountain of some sort about 50 yards from the entrance.

The fountain, while ominous, was given little attention as we searched for anything we could use in our defense although I did note the many

and strange runes carved into the floor around the thing as well as some carvings on the thing itself that I did my best not to look too closely at.

Finally about forty minutes after we finished our makeshift defense the villagers arrived.

>>20742733
At first they tried to get us to come out, claiming they were simply worried about us since we hadn’t come back.

Cyric asked them if they had been so worried as to brave the mountain in the dark, for if so then they were indeed remarkable individuals.

At this they fell quiet and conversed among themselves for a while. After deciding that we weren’t going to accept that they had come out of some altruistic sense of duty they tried to intimidate us.

Claiming if we dropped any valuables and equipment we had they would spare our lives. This went on for a while before they got fed up and tried to rush us, we killed 3 and wounded 2 more although one of our men took an axe to his shoulder and quickly bled out.

An hour later the villagers had whittled us down to 4 able men and two injured, one of the two being myself having lost the use of my sword

arm, while fifteen of theirs lay dead in the passage and perhaps another five had debilitating injuries.

>>20742747
If only we had a bow or two and some arrows we could have plicked at them all day while their fucking corpses lined that killing field,

but bows are rarely a practical weapon in a dark narrow passage where danger could be just out of torchlight.

More likely to hurt one of your own in conditions like that, so the bows had stayed with most of our other gear in a cache near the entrance to the ruin,

while it seemed we were to stay here as the newest corpses resting in the dark. The villagers were arguing hotly amongst themselves, and truly that was our reprieve.

They had expected to murder us in our sleep, not loose fifteen of their own trying to kill us. Some were arguing that they should just block

the passage with rocks and wait for us to die, but most were impatient arguing that one more good push would see us dead.

>>20742760
While this was happening I got that feeling, just like the one I had on watch earlier that night, and turned to see Cyric his expression ashen

and grim with that damned specter whispering in his ear. Abruptly Cyric turned and started walking toward the interior of the chamber,

but for some reason no one but me paid him any mind. A sense of dread swallowed me as I became torn between remaining by barricade or

following Cyric, but even if I wanted to whatever curse the sight of that specter brought had rooted me in place.

Suddenly I found I could move and that once again we were being rushed, for what all of us felt must be the last time. Amid the shouting and clatter of weapons I heard a scream from further back in the chamber,

it started out like a scream of anguish, but quickly became an infernal noise, something high and thin in a way that I’d swear no human throat could voice.

>>20742778
Moments later as I feebly tried to ward off yet another villager brandishing a sickle something rushed past the three of us still alive and literally

tore its way into the passage, limbs and gore went flying just as the stone of the walls itself did in his wake,

anything unfortunate enough to come into contact with him simply ceased to be whole in front of that inhuman strength. Minutes later the only noises in that place was our labored

breathing, the drip of blood from open wounds and the tearing of flesh and the cracking of bone from the other end of the passage.

Terrified of what awaited us, but resolute that we would die fighting rather than weeping in fear, we walked through that cauldron of blood and flesh that the hall had become.

>>20742791
At first we could not recognize him, his veins were taunt against his skin, stretched like steel cord and black with blood.

His eyes were those of an addict, constricted and wildly staring, his pupils like pinpricks.

His mouth was filled with razor sharp fangs while his hands had become monstrous claws ripping at the corpse at his feet as he drank and ate his fill.

When we finally realized this was our Captain we were at a loss for what to do, no one moved, no one spoke, we just stared and he just ignored us and continued his bloody feast.

Finally one of us moved, it was the little footsoldier that had been given the moniker Ymir as a joke, he moved up and resolutely lifted his hammer high above his head.

As he was about to strike, the phantom suddenly appeared and moved Her hand into his chest,

Ymir looked down with an expression of dull surprise for a second, I do not think he could see Her, but he felt Her grip,

and as the blood came pouring out his throat he turned to the two of us with a pleading expression before simply dropping.

>>20742818
The phantom turned to me, and it seemed more solid, I could nearly make out it’s face and it smiled and spoke.

“I, a covenant with my husband thrice bound. You shall walk in peace as you leave in peace, no harm shall befall you here as you regard the sanctity of our bond.”

My companion could hear this as well as I, though I am still not certain he could see Her, and this was the final straw for him.

He ran off gibbering into the dark and I never saw him again. I turned and ran myself toward the passage up to the haunting peal of her laughter

and never looked back until I was in the light of the blessed sun. In the years past, I have had my doubts, what if the vampire cult had somehow survived in that small village,

what if She had whispered in the ears of our attackers and had arranged the whole incident? I do not know where Cyric is now or what has happened to him since I saw him, but I hope he is dead, I truly do.


The end /tg/ hope you enjoyed it.

What would you think about mediocre far realm native trying to escape slavery and return to TeeGee?

>>20742973

Define far realm. Is it beyond Ork Land or Elvish Realms?

Well I got some catching up to do. I'll get to the ork invasion later, but I would like to add some EVEN MORE DRAMA to the story. :P

Writing it now.

Okay, finally awake, caffeinated, and more or less caught up on what's been going on, so time to figure out something to write.

Jesus Christ on a motorcycle with Moses in the sidecar!

I go to sleep and wake up to find not only has our nation been plunged into political turmoil, but it has been saved from such as well. Damn you bastards work fast. And to think I'm still faffing about trying to figure out what to write next.

>>20742466
Thank you, thank you, a thousand times thank you. I owe you something like ALL the drinks. And if I see Sam, I'll kiss her full on the mouth. You're doubly awesome for referencing King's Quest in your title too. Good show, sir!

So what happens now? Marieth still being sent home? I vote 'not it' to being the one to break the news.

>>20743699
>>20743932

Don't worry, you guys will have plenty to right about when I am done :P

So I wanted to try my hand at a bit of writefaggotry and I wanted to know if the concept of separating from a waifu would set you guys foaming at the mouth or not?

>>20744139

I don't know, I've just done it. Lets see what the reactions to my latest story is.

HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE

Seriously guy? You're putting things on a very slippery slope right there. The way you are writing is even more dangerous than getting us into a war with another nation. You are chipping away at the very foundations on which TeeGee was founded. Ordering next day executions and decrees on what people can and can not do, all behind closed doors is seriously unlike anything we've done before. You're a hair away from some sort of Inquisition there and state regulation on waifus.

Please tell me I am not the only one who finds this seriously uncool? You wana wright about your wife being a spy go ahead, but try to leave it open ended like everyone else has. You're treading on a lot of other people's toes when you just go and write what you did. It also goes against the general theme we seem to be setting. We wouldn't just go and lop off head the next day, non-human spies are a big fucking deal and we need to find out who the fuck sent them. If you really feel the need to grimderp it up, have them sent to the dungeons to be interrogated.

>>20744174
I never partecipated actively in these threads, but I'm from your same opinion. this last story is kinda over the line.
science really is evil!

>>20744174
Hold on, where did that happen? I was just now catching up, but I haven't read anyone going full tyrant yet.

>wakes up
>sees new thread
Damnnit, why is sleep even a thing.

It was in reference to these Sir Alaric:
>>20744033
>>20744044
>>20744048
>>20744056

Sadly my jimmies are in such a rustled state that I find it hard to write at the moment. I had hoped to do a bit on the whole Marieth Incident but I find myself unable to.

>>20744601
Weird, it seems like those posts were deleted. Can someone give me a quick summary, or is executions and spies all I need to know?

On the topic of writing, I think I'll try something a tad lighter, to take our mind off the grimdark.

>>20744631

The author got the message, no need to worry about it.

>>20744650
Yea I did.

>>20744673
Is this the birth of a supervillain?!

Little slow today, it seems.

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>>20744601
I wanna hear your part on the Marieth Incident, so please, write and ignore the travesty that was put forth before.

How about a quick goal: let's attempted to have a lighthearted thread after this one, no heavy world-changing drama, so let's not get all bad feelings and shit. Today's my game so I won't be able to write until much later.

>>20745152
I better get to typing that story, then.

Before I do, though, is it odd that I try to go for a "day in the life of" approach? I'm reading all this political intrigue and huge wars, and I feel a bit humbled, since I'm too focused trying to type up what most average knights might live like.

>>20745286
No, no, a story about an average day in the life of a harem knight would be perfect. So far it seems like we've been writing mostly about the majer events. Some smaller scale world-building stuff would be great.

>>20745286
>a bit humbled
iirc all this was made in the name of lightheartedness and cameratism. there's really no need of intrigue...

The Harem Knights are an interesting bunch. They not only opening associate with, but fornicate with subhumans, almost as a mater of course, and have such a disjointed air of purpose about them that it really is a miracle that they can get anything done without the guiding hands of nobility, and yet somehow they manage, living in a state of controlled anarchy.

This is not to say that they lack rules, however alien they may seem, quite the contrary. Insulting another man's "waifu" or a woman's "husbando," terms they use for wife, husband, and lover, is seen as grounds for an honor duel, and much like those in our own lands, they do not end unless someone either yields, shaming himself before the courts, or dies, resulting in much the same , only messier.\

I bring this up because I was once privy to such an honor duel between Sir Artorias, the famed Abysswalker of Teegee, and Sir Doran, the court Spellsword of Bolateria, overseen by his seconds. Magic and other such things were allowed, strange considering they are generally banned in civilized lands, but I suppose they are still learning.

While I'm not certian of the specifics of why the duel was fought, I was led to believe that is started over an insult about Sir Artorias's Karin and after escalating into insulting one another's lineages, something that was spoken of by the others as if it were funny. It is worth mentioning at this point that these men have a most unusual practice of greeting each other with insults that, while good-natured in appearance, would have them executed in our lands.

>>20745507
Oh thank goodness. I'll try my hand at typing up the sports festival thing, then. Just friendly games and jousting, you know?

I'm really tempted to win an event as well[/spoiler[

>>20745616
Will it have waifus teams?

>>20745707
naturally, it's not like men can play beach volley ball

>>20745530
DAMNIT

I was in the middle of outlining a honor duel sort of scenario and now this goes and gets posted. I don't want to come off as a copy cat, but I've got this mostly thought out and don't want to see it go to waste.

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After the Ork invasion, it was suggested that the Harem Knights hold a sort of celebration in honor of gaining our new allies. The idea quickly took hold, and the next year, the first official celebration took place.
A day of somber remembrance, followed by the second day, an exhibition tournament of many sports and games. The planning committee prepared many different things, be it jousting, sparring, or even boxing. Of course, it was all exhibition matches, but it was good fun and a great chance for the knights to show off to their Waifus.

I decided to try my hand at two sports: Jousting, and fencing. Not fencing with flimsy foils mind you, all types of swords were allowed. Many knights bragged or joked about what they would use, be it superior Nipponese katanas or a Roman gladius, but there was sure to be a shitstorm, whoever won.

On the morning of the games, which were estimated to last three days due to the number of events planned, there was a small parade, in which all the participants marched, bearing their personal sigils, varied but always including a d20, saluting the crowd, and especially saluting their Waifus. I didn't have a Waifu at the time, but I did spot Serenity ahead in the stands when a voice sounded in my head.
"Salute her."
"Wut"
"Do it faggot!"
Instinctively, I raised my sword and saluted her.

Thank the Emperor for helmets, because my face must have been red as a beet, and not from the June sun.

>>20745797
you can still post it, it's not like there was only ever one fight

>>20742837
Somewhere in the forest of Mirthterrah...

Hungry, so hungry. Mistress are you there? Are you Strong enough yet? Can you feed without my help yet? Not enough... Not nearly enough.

The caravans aren't enough, the villages aren't enough. I'm tired. Tired of running. Tired of killing

and killing and killing and killing and killing and gnawing on fleshless, bloodless bones.

Tired of arranging them into little white piles. Tired of the SCREAMING...... Hehe, hehhehheehe, so h-hungry...

>>20745737
YES

>>20745707
>>20745737
Forgot all about that, I was thinking a lot of manly wargames, archery, the javelin throw, boxing and such.

We would probably also recreate and present 40K as "our version of chess, but more in depth."

>>20745530
Sir Artorias, for those more familiar with the man's deeds than the man himself, fights with a large shield and a blade almost as large, both with a most curios design etched into them. Any man with much martial sense would tell you how silly the very idea of someone fighting in this manner is, yet he somehow manages. Sir Doran, by contrast, uses a rapier and dagger, a more gentlemanly style of fighting to be sure, but he also uses his magics, so one could be forgiven for thinking him a fool.

The battle itself was a sight to behold. While I couldn't tell who was winning at first, towards the mid-point it became increasingly obvious that the Abysswalker was simply outmatched. With his magics, Sir Doran had made himself not only faster than I had seen any man move, but also stronger than any had a right to be. I was almost ready to pass the bard's tales of the Abysswalker off as just fantasy or propaganda, but when one of the blows torn his shield from his arm, a very different picture came to be.

The man glowed with a strange blue aura, something that made Sir Doran step back a moment, and then he fought less as a man possessed than a demon, even letting out an unearthly screech at his opponent. Flips, thrusts, slides, and a multitude of flourishes, many leaving behind a strange blue wherever he walked, and none of them were things a human or even an elf should have been capable of doing.

Sir Doran, alas, did not get a change to surrender and make amends for his insult, for he was beheaded before he knew he was loosing enough to surrender. I never got an answer as to what had happened in that fight, but I was advised that I was best forgetting about it.

-excerpt from Tales of the Abysswalker, published AA 37

>>20745797
>>20745815
Almost all of what I do is either a generalization or writen from the viewpoint of someone who only has a rough idea of what's happening.

>>20745890
NO. NO.
you're a fiend!

I see no reason why not to have all sorts of events at what looks to be our own form of Olympics. Sure you can have events dedicated to physical prowess, but why not mental and finesse events as well?

>>20746010
As I said, I imagine we'd reintroduce tabletop strategy games, so there's your mental.

As for finesse, wouldn't that tie in with certain athletic events as well?

>>20745822
Hey /tg/ I find myself having grown somewhat attached to the character of Cyric,

but I have little interest in writing anymore about what he's done after becoming the thrall/husband to that vampire,

protip, it wouldn't be all that interesting...just lots of murder and running from place to place.

Would you guys be interested in some adventures of Cyric and his group in their earlier days?

If so I might flesh out the ten and give them names and personalities and have them go adventuring,

although you can expect the tone to remain somewhat serious compared to a bit of what I've been reading in these threads.

Actually, does anyone have an interest in writing a quest involving hunting down Cyric and putting the poor bastard out of his misery?

I just don't have the heart to do it myself.

http:images/1347815592411.png

just saw this on the front page, figured we could use it. now if you'll excuse me i have a physics prelab, a chem lab report, a chapter of chem homework, 30 pages of history reading, and a 6-8 page history paper that i need to put off to write about my trip to the Frozen Wastes

>>20746256
Oh? More than elven ruins up there, I take it?

Come to think of it the only thing I mentioned about the place was that it was cold, si it should be fun to see where this goes.

Say, do we have a name for this world? I think someone mentioned about four threads back that it's called Mirthterrah, but that's a bit confusing and I can't see that being a globally-used name. Any ideas?

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>>20745808
A lot of the "minor" events took place earlier in the day, so I had a lot of free time early on, since I wasn't scheduled until my events, at about noon. Removing my helmet, I briefly considered what to do first. A lot of food stands had been set up, and I needed to skip breakfast to get my armor on in time....

"Gutsy move, Al" I jumped in my armor.
"Oh hi there!" I splurted, turning with a manic grin. Smooth as ever with the ladies.
Serenity, or Sera as I took to calling her, wore a playful smile, belying her catlike nature. Felim, as it were, seemed to fit the creatures in terms of personality as well as physically.
"Any plans?" she asked.
"Just some food for now" I replied. Between skipping breakfast today and the fast the day before, I was starving.
"Tell me Sera, have you ever heard of funnelcake?"
"No, why?"
"Because you are about to eat the circus food of the gods."

>>20746325
I believe Mirthterrah was the human lands. I referred to it as the New Realm/World, though I'm sure only the current reach of kingdoms matter to most, rather than the world as a whole.

>>20746333
Of all the things we carried with us from the Old World; Math, Physics, modern technology and the notions of equality, none were greater then the gift of funnelcake.
Truely, the gods favor our lands.

Hey there, I was thinking about writing about a fallen Outrealmer and Harem Knight.; about a man named Sir Stick (short for Stick-Up-The-Arse), who frequently tread the line between That Guy and Epic even before his fall from grace. About a fa/tg/uy and his ca/tg/irl, that most rare of things, about his famous 'Harem of One'. About his autism. Here goes.

"This is a bad idea."

Those were the words I uttered as my company marched into the dark woods that filled our southernmost border. This sentiment was echoed by fully half of my brother-knights present; by those who had seen active service along this front and by those who heard and believed the stories that lay around this region. 'The Mad Knight,' 'The Orcslayer'-There was a reason why nobody walked these parts anymore. Our murmurs were swiftly quashed by our captain, Sir Adelbert, a tall, broad-shouldered man with a most magnificent beard and an oversized axe slung over his shoulder.

"We have to stop them," he said, "before they disappear into the woods. If we let any of them live, they'll slink away and murder our homesteaders for years to come! So quit your bellyaching and just follow my lead!"

Of course, while this was a fair enough reason, I had figured this gesture of his to be largely unnecessary, as -he- would deal with-

>>20746664
Ah, There I go again, starting off in the middle. Let me start again. I am Sir Argus the Blue, a proud member of the Order of the Harem Knights. My mentor was Sir Andrei Engel, the White. No, I am not an Outrealmer by birth, although I call Teegee my home and I would gladly lay down my life for the realm and my brothers. Well, perhaps not THAT gladly. I still have my waifus, Lyra and Claire, to think of after all.

But I digress. Why were we there? Well, we were supposed to help break the siege of Castle Waifu. We were a little late to the battle, though-We were out on training drills in the west and by the time we saw the smokestacks rising and force-marched our way back home, the battle was already over. Our captain, highly displeased with our lack of participation in the battle, resolved to make up for it by cleaning up the various orcish warbands that had scattered in every direction following their defeat.

Which eventually led us here, to this part of the woods that anyone with a lick of common sense would avoid. There was no reason to follow these orcs over here. They were already dead men (er, orcs?). Captain Adelbert would have none of it, though, pressing onwards through the thick underbrush and following the muddy trail made by the orcs and their iron-shod boots. A few hours in, and it was clear that they were panicked in their retreat, their footsteps becoming irregular and unnecessarily hard. Then the bodies started showing up, bearing cuts far too precise, too measured to have been performed in the thick of combat. But there they were, laying about on the path, cut down in their eagerness to retreat.

>>20746674
Understandably, we all drew our weapons at this point and proceeded with utmost caution. Even Captain Adelbert looked a little unnerved. Eventually, I began hearing a voice through a thick wall of bushes, and judging from the reactions of my brothers, so did they.

"C'mon, GM, when are you gonna let them reroll? It's been what, eight, nine years already? Look, I know you're pretty adamant on this bullshit 'No Resurrection' rule you've been forcing on us, but can you at least let them back in the game? Why do you always force -me- to do all the roleplay?"

It was entirely in /tg/ cant. I moved to place a hand on our captains' shoulder to tell him that now might be a good time to turn back, when a weak, pathetic murmur caught our attention. Judging from the sound, it was an orcish girl-And young, too.

"Oh, quit it with that, GM. We both know that orcs are chaotic evil. It even says so on their statblock! Rules as written! So stop trying to guilt trip me. I'm not a paladin, anyway, so you can't make me fall. I'm just going to kill her. When are you going to stop with the railroading, anyway!?"

>>20746683
In response to this, Adelbert stepped out from behind his cover, axe raised. Although a somewhat-foolhardy man, nobody could doubt his sense of justice. Sir Adelbert would not see the the innocent nor the child harmed as long as he held breath; not even the children of his enemies. As the leaves were pushed out of the way, we were greeted by a scene of absolute carnage. An entire warband, hundreds strong, lay dead all within a hundred meters of each other, and in the center, a young, orcish girl lay, weeping and clutching a crippled leg. In front of her, a man in an old set of plate armor, wielding an old bastard sword and with a look in his eye that instantly informed you that he was absolutely insane. He didn't have a single mark on him, and he was talking to his sword.

"Oh, what's this? Random encounters table? A bunch of Harem Knights, if my Perception roll is right-Oh, shut up, GM, Pathfinder is superior and you know it, I won't have any of that 'spot' and 'listen' nonsense."

Voice shaking a little, Adelbert called out to him. "Stop! I won't let you hurt that innocent girl!"

"Innocent? Man, GM, I already told you, she's chaotic evil. At best, she's chaotic neutral. And I don't like orcs, anyway. In-character reasons and all. Rolling to hit-"

He raised his sword to finish off the girl, and Adelbert charged the man.

>>20746698
"-And activating Cleave."

What happened next defied all conventional norms of swordsmanship. He swung his sword, beheaded the girl, and, in the same stroke, took off both of Adelberts' hands and tore open his throat, his sword somehow finding the miniscule gaps between his armor. With a bloody gurgle, our captain collapsed on the ground, an action met with a look of mild disapproval by the swordsman.

"Damn. Didn't mean to crit. Oh, look, there's more of them. Do I get to roll for intimidate? I don't really want to kill them; I'm Chaotic Good, after all..."

I am not ashamed to say that I, along with my brothers, fled the scene. We knew who this was. Sir Stick, the Mad Knight who haunted these woods. Sir Stick. It doesn't sound very threatening-And it isn't, but if you were there...Well, anyways, we did return later to collect the body of our captain for burial, and we didn't have to worry about those orcs, after all. Turns out that all and any orcs who ventured anywhere near those woods turned up dead within the week.

Look, I...I don't really want to talk about it much longer, okay? I'm just going to finish my beer and go home, and try to forget about it. If you really want to hear more about him, you could check in our archives, I guess-He's probably there. Or you could ask around, the older Knights probably knew him. I know my mentor did, and I heard that he had a fight with Sir Kasai over him being 'weeaboo' or something like that, once...Okay? I don't need my waifus to see my like this.


Was this okay? Should I write more regarding how Sir Stick came to be the Mad Knight?

All right, gonna head out to eat, come back, and post some posts.
>>20740598
Could I get a time frame on this? Need to know when to work in a knock against the city of Dallas.

>>20746701
>young ladies beheaded
>foolhardy knights fallen
This is not what I enlisted for, sarge.

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For all the affection father always showed us, he was always distant, especially when it came to things involving his time before coming to our world. It seemed to be an agreement on my parent's part to simply not speak of it. I pressed him once to tell us something, but the pained expression he had when he spoke told us it was best to not ask about it again.

He seemed to do his best to live for the moment and look to the future, but he still carried a deep sadness to the day he died. He was not a morbid person my any means, but there was always a weight on his shoulders, one that became obvious to everyone during the time leading up to Remembrance Day every year. Mother, gods rest her soul, once told me that he blamed himself for many of the people who died in their first winter, but I think it was always something else.

I remember how he was always proud of how gracefully he aged. He kept his hair dyed for the longest time before aunt Karrigan convinced him that he should accept that he was getting on in years. Time was the one enemy even he couldn't beat.

Father had retired some years before his death, writing a book about his life and enjoying his twilight years with his family, spoiling his grandchildren and great grandchildren, but it never seemed to fit him. He was always so restless, like there was something else he wanted to do. It was after mother and aunt Karrigan passed that things really seemed to tug at him.

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It was only about a month after the ork attack that I made my first trip up north to the Frozen Wastes. Some dwarves from the Misty Mountains had managed to dig all the way through their mountains and just kept going, which eventually led them to a vein of some type of elemental ice that was always cold and only melted when thrown in a fire. Think the reverse of Kari’s hot rock. Naturally we wanted some of the stuff for the sake of keeping food fresh, but since none of our trade agreements with the dwarves covered magic ice, we had to send someone out there to make a deal with them. I ended up being chosen for the job, partly because living with a dragon teaches you how to haggle real well, and partly because Rydia could cut our travel time down by a few weeks by just flying over the mountains. Another thing to love, travel by dragon. It’s smooth, it’s fast, and the view is absolutely amazing.

>>20747013
When we got there the dwarves greeted us, friendly as always, and offered us some drinks. I’m not normally one for alcohol, but I didn’t want to be rude so I took a drink. Glad I did too, the stuff may have been hard as hell to take down (190 proof) but when it was as cold as it was, the gentle warming of inebriation was rather nice; I can see why they drank so much. Rydia took something a bit weaker that involved downing three shots of different stuff in order, and Ana was passed out within the hour. The dwarves introduced her to hard apple cider, and she still loved apples. Worked out well though, I think the sheer amount she put away impressed some of them. As for the negotiations, they went surprisingly well, I probably even could have done it without Rydia’s help, though I wouldn’t have gotten as good a deal. See when you’re in a land that was covered in several feet of snow and ice year round, and are more than one hundred miles to the nearest coastline, food is hard to come by, and consists mostly of digging a hole in the ice above a frozen over river and trying to catch fish. Hell the only animals I had seen in the last day of flight had been a herd of some polar bear-wolf-goat thing (body of a polar bear, nose and front claws of a wolf, back feet and horns of a goat, survived by digging and fishing). Our deal basically came down to elemental ice in exchange for food, and once we got all the paperwork squared away and the route through the mountain tunnels mapped out, Rydia took off for TeeGee to get the first shipment of food out as fast as possible. As for Ana and I, we took a longer way back through the tunnels. It was worth it though, just to see Giovanni’s face as we rode in on a giant goat thing.

>>20747023
Real glad I took the trouble of bringing back a waste goat as I named it. Our farmers absolutely love these things. They’re strong enough to serve as a draft animal, docile enough to be kept in large numbers, capable of fighting back against bandits if they’re attacked, have lots of meat on them, taste good, and had a giant lair of fur that could be shaved off to make great padding (real hard to work into clothes, but makes real comfy beds, pillows, and sleeping bags), only real problem is that they eat a lot. Trade was slow since we had to go through a winding series of tunnels, but everyone got what they wanted in the end. We got our elemental ice, the dwarves got their food, and I spent the next several months going back and forth to get the farmers more waste goats. I still have that first one I brought back, who I named Everest. Kari loves having him at home, gives her something warm to wrap around when I’m gone and helps dig her herb garden.

>>20746918
Not was I was expecting either, although I guess it does make sense that more then a few guys would have snapped after arriving.
That "crit", however, is just retarded. I don't care if he's crazy or what, those things just don't happen.

>>20746918
Deploying happy.

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>>20746333
And so began a morning of delicious snack foods and cheap games. It was indeed a merry day, a stark contrast to the melancholy mood set yesterday. Even children were running amok, including a few half-breeds, the first of a new generation. I am proud to say that I impressed a few children by winning a handbowbow target challenge for a child, giving him the prize. It made me feel knightly.

The ring toss, on the other hand, remained unwinnable, for both myself and Sera.

The real treat, however, was when one crafty group of Outrealmers brought in the most luxurious item we'd seen in years: ice cream. Ice was difficult to come by; it had to be cut in blocks and carried from mountains, then stored carefully. These brave, heroic men had gone out of their way to gather the ingredients and recreate this godly foodstuff. The Waifus and immigrants were at first confused as to why the knights rushed forward to this stand, until they were consumed by delicious creamy treats.

The stock didn't last 'til noon.

>>20747054
agreed on the crit part, but remember that these are supposed to be first hand accounts, and in the adrenaline filled confusion of the battle field, memories can be exaggerated

>>20747054
Perhaps. But magic does exist in this world, as detailed by Red White and Blue Britfag, right? And they're amplified by autism, and cover a wide range of fields. Yes, by conventional means it would have been retarded, but for somebody channeling say, the magic of luck or minor reality warping...

Well, whatever, going to sleep now.

>>20747106
That's still one hell of an exaggeration. Although I suppose what >>20747113 said could be a thing.

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>>20747010
One day I got a message from him, inviting me to meet him in front of the Cave of the Fallen. This was an odd request since this was a haunted place, one even the most foolish of errants stay away from and was considered off limits by orders of the council of DM's.

When I got there, he started telling me about one of the town's legends, of the Black Iron Tarkus, a fairytale to scare recruits out of some of the crazier ideas they might have. According to father he was not only real, but that this cave was haunted because of him. He then explained how he intended to go into this cave after something. Crazy old man.

I considered stopping him, but the look i his eyes told me that attempt would be wasted.

I can't say what he expected to find going in, but what we found were demons, lots of them, ranging from the capra and taurus demons found in old cities to the scarier kind that look like great black sprites that drain your life force. I must say, the cave was much more extensive than I would have thought, but I was usually too busy fighting for my life to appreciate the scenery.

It was deep underground that we found an arena-like chamber, strange enough for a cavern, but stranger still was what was in it. There stood the spirit of none other than the Black Iron Tarkus.

Is there any way a guy could get a really brief summary of the timeline we have so far? Typing up my story but timing is fairly important for some of the aspects to work.

Mainly need to know the timing of the orc invasion to our arrival/summoning, just major events like that. And how long has passed since the orcs.

Just finished Harbinger's stuff for the book. I think I'll do Fearghaile's things next.

But first, I have a thing to attend with my family.

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>>20747235
Of all the things I would have expected, this wasn't one of them. The ghost stood watch over its body, clad in the distinctive black armor.

I expected to see him fight this apparition, banish it back to the dark abyss it came from, but what happened instead was just as surprising. The ghost simply stood aside as he collected the knight's body and we departed with it.

After all that, father had only wanted to bring the young man's corpse back to Teegee for proper burial. Maybe that was what had been gnawing at him all these years. He certainly seemed more at peace with his life, however brief, after that.

He died in his sleep a few weeks after this, given a funeral befitting one who had served so long. His deeds were called out for all to hear, people paid their respects, and his body was taken down to the family burial chamber.

On his sarcophagus he had us inscribe the words "Respawn in 10, 9, 8..." While I'll never pretend to understand how father's mind works, that request was strange even for him.

More fitting, at least, was his proudest title, that of Knight-Sergeant, on the outside of the mausoleum.

Rest in peace father.

-Gwynavere Artorias, Knight Captain of the Lion Riders on her father's death.

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Goddamit guys, stop having fun without me, I can't catch up with you fast enough. I'm not even writing anything lore-changing, I just want to show everyday life of Head Chief.

>>20747352
I think I saw somewhere on the wiki page that the Ork attack was about four years after arrival?

Uhhhh, guys, I've run into a bit of a snag with my latest writing bit. What exactly are people from TeeGee called? Like, people from America or Americans, people France are French. Are we Teegeeins? That word doesn't even start to make sense grammatically or when it comes to spelling.

>>20747763

Neckbeards.

I couldn't resist.

>>20747763
fa/tg/uys
ca/tg/irls
elegan/tg/entlemen
outrealmers
haremers
batshit insane (i'm sure we get called this a lot)

>>20747799
Any let's not forget /d/eviants

>>20747763
Most stories have used Outrelmers, I think.

>>20747553
I know how you feel. Between classes, helping my family with stuff, writer's block, and other stuff, I barely have time to write.

>>20747799
I think Outrealmers is the official term. Some people call us deviants and madmen (which we honestly probably are, a little bit.)

Okay, coast looks clear. Maybe this time I'll actually avoid interrupting somebody.
Maybe.

New entry
Feels like I've been here over a year now. Can't really tell, just feels like it. That run-in from a few days ago has reminded me of the concept of waifu. Guess I've just been too occupied to think about "mai waifu" this and "mai waifu" that. It's made me think, who was mai waifu back then? Someone from some video game, I remember that. I also remember that there was no art of her, nothing official, nothing from the fans, nothing. It was a very peculiar type of waifuism, but I don't remember anything past that. Should I be worried about what I'm forgetting? I'm not forgetting songs, (too much) knowledge, or all those Lake Wobegon stories I memorized, so I suppose I'm still retaining the important things, but isn't forgetting the personal things like forgetting who I really am? Who I was? How much have I changed since I first got here? Am I who I was anymore?
Thinking about this is inconvenient. I don't want to think about it anymore. We're putting up a building tomorrow and I have to go over some last minute details and measurements.

>>20748276
Continued entry
I've been known to talk in my sleep. I've figured I move around in my sleep quite a bit. Apparently it got a little fierce tonight, woke up to the feeling of someone else lying down next to me rubbing my head. It was pitch black so I couldn't well see who it was. Regardless, I had a good guess.
"That you, Annya?"
A gasp wasn't the first thing I expected to hear. She pulled her hand off my head she thought I was made of fire. Her voice followed soon enough.
"How could you tell? Can..." She got real quiet. Whispering in my ear. "Can you see in the dark?"
Too cute for me. I had to laugh at that. I explained to her that she was the only one with any real reason. She probably got it. At least I hope she did. She seemed to. A couple minutes of silence passed before anything happened. She spoke up.
"Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, sure, should be."
Oh she didn't like that. She sat up and got right down to business.
"I don't believe you. You were talking in your sleep and thrashing around. Something's wrong."
"Oh, talking in my sleep ain't new to me; apparently it's something I've been doing for years. And I always manage to wake up in a different way from when I went to sleep. You're worrying over nothing."
"Don't tell me that. You're never like that in your sleep. You're not okay. I can feel it."

>>20748284
That cut deeper than it should have. I figured I wasn't getting out of that one, so I decided to spill my guts just a bit. Told her I'd just been thinking about sad things recently. Stuff in the past. I managed to avoid saying, "Nah, I'm just sad." Maybe I haven't let go of everything quite yet. After I said my bit, there was another minute or two of just silence. Then she lay down, got up right next to me, and gave me a hug. It was a nice moment, but then she had to go and say it.
"You think too much."
It took some doing, but I managed not to blow it by laughing. Once I got a hold of myself, I thanked her. We stayed like that a little while longer before she fell asleep and her arms slipped off. As much as I'd like to carry her back to her room and put her in her bed, I know there's no way that's happening. But, on the bright side, looks like I have another answer to the ancient question about holding a girl in your arms. Can't remember how it goes anymore.
I have written this entire continuation by the light of my Sobieski light dongle on my keychain. It was very unpleasant and I have no plans of doing so again.
Wait a second. What does she mean by, "I'm never like that in my sleep?" I can only think of one way she'd know, and I'm not sure how I feel about that.

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>no field too long errors

>>20748293
She watchs you while you sleep, clearly.
Isn't that sweet?

archive?

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>>20748339
Ah yes, very.

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>>20748432
We need more yandere waifus anyway.
I want to be able to feel the love, people. Feel it in the shattered shards of my spine.

>>20748558
I'm planning on doing more with Cyric and the Vampire, she'll be doing some fairly yandere things, just gotta finish writing (and make sure I don't post when the thread goes dead at 4am again...)

>>20748426
Done.

Alright fellas, incoming cozy character development containing no world shaking events.

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>>20747101
Soon, the hour arrived. The first part of the jousting tournament was ready to go, the big game of the day was here. I dashed off at the sound of the trumpet calling, waving at the call of "good luck".

The stadium that was set for this was actually really well made, constructed in just a few short months, and able to seat quite a few people.

And baby, when they knew there was a game that involves going fast and hitting each other in the face until someone gets knocked out, you better believe the orcs filled those seats.

I donned my helmet and grabbed a lance; each weapon was able to bear a small flag they had painted a d20 on, usually a sigil or animal as well, often representing their Waifus.

File: 1347833865592.jpg-(33 KB, 312x445, Black Knight.jpg)

>>20749345
I thought that image was going to go all

>I always wanted to be a knight
>and I'm sure all you girls wanted to be princess as well
>Knights fuck a lot of princesses

It had been some weeks since my recovery from the slump I was in. The icy grips of winter had begun to take hold on the forest around us, yet the inhabitants of Castle Waifu and her surrounding lands seemed cheerier than usual, with proper clothing and knowledge, the winter would be easy going if things continued this way. I sat on a small wooden stool that I brought into the ramparts where I stood (sat) guarding the North Western approach. I distinctly remember the sound of the winter birds that remained in the forest chirping that morning, and the feeling of my breath swirling around my face as it hit my green scarf that I wore loosely around my neck. The snow was falling is large, lazy flakes as they glided to the ground, coating everything in a thick padding of white cotton. I had adopted a hood as well, and when I say adopted I mean “gifted” a hood for my duties outside. It was thick and roomy, and was quite comfortable around my ears, knowing all too well the pains of frostbite from my time in the Old Realm, where it would get to fifty below zero every winter. The metal of my breastplate had begun to grow tiny webs of frost across its surface, and I occupied my time rubbing it away, only to watch it appear minutes later. Since the Ork invasion, we had not had any large scale incursions, nor conflicts in the time till this point, and for as much as mourned the loss of my comrades, there was a kindling inside me that grew to a small flame that day. I loved the combat.

>>20749390

I heard the soft crunching of snow as one of my fellow guards came to relieve me from my duty, giving me a salute and quickly occupying my stool so it would not be covered in snow. Laughing to myself, I was pleased at the smoothness of kingdom, everyone loved each other, and there was little to no crime to speak of. I made my way through the center of the town, past the vast manors of some of the Errant Knights, wealthy adventurers and merchants, into a small corner of the walls, where I had built my home nestled up to the solid stone that surrounded the keep, a small fenced in yard with an oak tree sapling to one side. I quickened my pace as I shuffled my way to the solid wooden door, and shook the snow off my hood and shoulders before entering. I rushed inside, as to keep the warmth in, and inhaled deeply as the smell of freshly baked bread and a pot of stew filled my nose. Pulling the hood from my head, I let it fall to my back, and hung my bow on a peg by the door, leaving my quivers below it. I pulled my arms around my back in an attempt to unclasp my breastplate, but found it difficult due to the thick clothing I now had to wear. After a moment, I felt a set of deft fingers undo the clasp and belts, setting me free from my steel chest. Setting it down, I turned to see Evette, the one who gave me reason to wake in the mornings, my very own Waifu.

>>20749406

She had done her hair up into a small ponytail while she cooked, as to keep it out of her way, and it was still unusual seeing her in anything besides armor or a cloak. She wore a tidy green and brown dress with an apron on the front, and a small band in her hair. She did a little skip back to the table after I had taken off the rest of my outdoor clothing and proceeded to the table myself. The smell was intoxicating, and the early morning shift puts a real hunger on a man, and this warm stew was sure to stick to my ribs and fill me with warmth after a cold morning atop the walls. We sat and ate, not speaking, but merely looking at each other with blissful faces, until I we were done. I had taken to making a small sofa when I first built the house, something to remind me of the Old Realm, and after I had eaten, I moved to this couch and sunk into its comforting embrace. Evette joined me moments later, putting her head on my shoulder and an arm around my waist.

“How was your patrol, mighty warrior?” she laughed softly.
“Full of fraught danger and valorous courage, as always!” I laughed back.

>>20749416

I looked back towards the door as she snuggled up a little closer, and it was a feeling unlike any other. Before she would not show her face to anyone, too ashamed of her burdening scars to go anywhere without a hood. Now, she walks around town, still hooded, but no longer obscuring her face, and even though some others still respond with shock, she is very good about it. It was not until recently that she told me that she used to be a maiden to the Elven king, who was wont to having fits of rage. She explained that when we had attacked, she was in the dungeons, awaiting execution for killing some of the guards trying to escape. I had not asked her, however, where she learned to fight. I still see her eying her sword that lies beside our night stand. There the thin and elegant blade sits, perfectly straight, made for her hand alone. Her armor lies within a chest at the foot of our bed, and she never goes anywhere without a small side blade she wears on her hip. Her bow lies unstrung under our bed, along with the ample supply of arrows. Even though she chose me, she was still quite the enigma. She was very loving and kind, and always wanted to be close, but she remained safe within her own secrets, and I did not want to pry within them.

>>20749420

However, looking back at that door I saw the small wooden plaque I had made, a small remembrance for the men and women of the guard that died during the Ork Invasion. I had taken it harder than most, for I felt responsible for their deaths as the Captain of the Guard, it was my duty to ensure the safety of everyone, and for those few, I had failed. I felt my grip tightening on the arm of the sofa, remembering the brutal savagery of the Orks, the feeling of exhaustion and fatigue wrack my entire body, the brackish blood of the foul beasts raging over my blades hand guard, staining my gloves a blackish red. The cries of their bloodlust echoed within my head, the fear in my heart was still heavy, especially now I had someone to live for.

>>20749385
I always had the theory the White and Black Knights are like the Eternal Champion from Moorcock's novels.
There is always a variable of both in all the planets of the multiverse, fighting in an eternal struggle which escapes even the grasp of the planeswalkers comprehension.

So I sort of think I have my first attempt at writefaggotry typed up, just wanted to make sure I wasn't interrupting anyone and that we aren't autosagging or anything.

>>20749776
We have around another sixty replies before anything autosages. Go for it. I might work on the next thread's opening writefag, but I'm not sure I want this one to be the "featured" one just yet...

>>20749776

I am done with my little bit of writing for now, and I don't think there is anyone else in the middle of posting one right now, so I think you are good.

>>20749917
If you don;t think you can do the thread headline how do you think I feel!

Well whatever, here comes my 1400 word opening monster chapter.

H-here I go!

My tale began like many others, browsing /tg/. Browsing idly while waiting for my favourite quest to start, a thumbnail caught my eye unlike that was unlike anything I had ever seen before. The image seemed to change and morph every moment, but each time presenting a new, beautiful woman. All different shapes, sizes, body types were seemingly represented, including aspects some would consider strange or monstrous, yet every combination created another unique beautiful creature. I would later learn that the image that lured us to our fate was enchanted to appear as the most beautiful being possible to its viewer, and I apparently have very few preferences for looks which caused the enchantment to spaz out and try to show me damn near everything at once.
No fat chicks showed up though, heh.

Well some magic dickery later and there I am in the woods with a few thousand fa/tg/uys with nothing save the clothes on my back, which was a pair of baggy jeans and a heavier t-shirt. If college classes hadn’t started up a few weeks prior I likely would have been ported with nothing but a shirt and my boxers, so I suppose I should be thankful.

The Winter, as everyone knows, was probably the lowest point for most in our new world. Standing at around 5’11 and about 175lbs (very little of that muscle), I definitely was not the most suited to our new reality.

What I was however, was Canadian.

(never copy pasted onto 4chan before, hopefully I'll have the formatting down soon)

>>20749385
I honestly thought the picture was something funnier, but didn't check.

Also, am I doing good so far? Besides the posting slow as hell part, I apologize for that.

That alone probably let me survive where others fell, as being able to weather harsh winters came naturally to me. Lost a good chunk (read: all) of my bodyfat during our ordeal, but managed to survive first through some foraging (stopped when the first few bodies were discovered pin cushioned) and scavenging from the dead later, which still shames me till this day.

Then the Felim showed up.

Everyone knows how that went, so I’ll just elaborate on the bits relevant to my tale. They saved us when we were pretty much at the end of our collective ropes. The one that saved me was named Purraija(not really, but she was kind enough to change her name to it, being the closest pronunciation I could manage without being a cat myself). She brought me a small bowl of broth, and when I took my first drink…I…well…

I broke.

I have part two of the tale of Knight Cyric nearly done, but I think I'll just wait for next thread to start posting it.

There really isn’t any other way to describe it. I was a depressed person who internalized all his emotions all the time, and extremely shy to boot. I say was because the old me died when that sip of liquid passed my lips.

Purraija was there for me the entire time. She held me when I was broken man. She coached me while I regained my old strength and acquired the new. And when the time came, she showed me what it felt like to been in love for the first time. I couldn’t have been a happier man.

Then the elves crossed the line.

>>20749986
You've brought funnelcake into the world, man. There's literaly nothing better you could have done.

File: 1347837102559.jpg-(62 KB, 740x355, 1371-fantasy-spear.jpg)

When we marched into the forest, I had just two arrows looted from our dead. Weapons and armour were at a premium, and few good pieces we had gone to far more deserving men than I. I killed my first sentient that day when I jammed one of my arrows through his neck while he was busy skewering a felim who had lost his wife in the massacre that started this whole mess with a spear.

I still carry that spear with me to this day.

When I emerged from the tree line after our victory, I held a young elf girl in my arms. About 8 or 9 by human standards, she was being dragged kicking and screaming by her hair by an elf making a run for it near the battle’s end. I guess he had it in his mind to drag her off with him while he made his escape, maybe to sell off for money, maybe for a far more despicable purpose. I’ll never know for sure as I was too busy jamming my new spear in his eye socket and giving it a good twist to ask.

>>20749986

I think its quite good, you are giving some more depth into the realm we have made!

I on the other hand, seem to be focusing on just my small bit of relevance that surrounds my character. By the way, what did people think of the latest addition of the Captain?

File: 1347837229834.jpg-(109 KB, 780x700, 1344721725677.jpg)

With no immediate family we could identify, I took it upon myself to look after her. So I brought her back with me to Castle Waifu and to Purraija, and for a while, I had a family. For a time my existence revolved around training to become a guard (as the thought of leaving my makeshift family to adventure made my stomach turn) and spending time with the ones I loved.

Nearly nine months passed. I was now a guard with a nice shift starting in the afternoon and running till midnight (suited me just fine, let me spend more time with the girls), a small house wedged in between the towering mansions being built by the adventurers who had met success early on, and a wife and “daughter”. What more could a man want? I had built my paradise.

Little did I know what I built had a flawed foundation.

File: 1347837366822.jpg-(68 KB, 480x640, Chinese_Armor_9.jpg)

The first crack appeared when I was walking with my little girl near the gates. A group of Knights were escorting a group of elven women inside the walls, who they ran into while some elven men were attempting to reclaim their escaped “property”. A few dead douchebag elves later we gained some new citizens walking through the gates. Most looking amazed, scared, bewildered (some a mix of all three) as they walked through our home.

I was about to turn around to leave when it happened. One of the women just…stopped, like she was frozen in time. Next came the tears, yet still she remained completely motionless. Just standing there, completely still, crying and staring.

Straight.
At.
Me.

Except…I was wrong. I wasn’t what she had been looking at. She was looking at the little girl whose hand gripped my fingers but moments ago. The little girl who was now running as fast as her legs could carry her back to her mother. It was the most bittersweet moment in my entire life.

File: 1347837480520.jpg-(250 KB, 518x800, 1309481749967.jpg)

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t sad to see my little family get smaller, but I still got to see her every once in a while around TeeGee which helped the heart ache a bit. I started picking up more jobs around the place to help upgrade my arms and armour. I was always a fan of ancient Chinese and Middle Eastern armour, so I had a combination of the two mixed together for my first set of unique armour. Flowing, baggy robes with Chinese style plates concealed underneath kept it light enough for mobility and protected most of the important bits well enough, most people can’t even tell I have armour on (which I’m sure will come in handy one day). One day I’ll have a heavier suit made, but this will do for now.

File: 1347837561010.jpg-(87 KB, 740x493, 1370-Fantasy-Saber.jpg)

Next up I had a new sword made, once again based on eastern cultures mixed up with a twist. The love child between a scimitar and a bastard sword was the perfect weapon to accompany my short spear. Light enough to wield with one hand if necessary, but only really shining with a 2 hand grip. You see I never was the strongman type, all the stories about some of the knights wielding great swords single handedly? I’ll never be counted among them. My strength could be considered average at best and likely below the average of the knights, explaining my preference for lighter gear.

>>20750090
Excuse me, I've just got something in my eye...

With one of the pillars of my life reunited with her true family, the other started to crack and crumble. I guess looking back, Purraija was always’ happiest when she had someone to mother and dote on. With an empty nest and being able to take care of myself, we slowly started to drift apart. Where we were once inseparable, we now merely enjoyed each other’s company. Make no mistake, we still cared for each other greatly, but the “waifu spark” was gone.

A week after we had “The Talk”, we officially gave up our status as man and waifu. The first time it happened in TeeGee’s short history.

At least the other guards won’t give me shit for showing up 15 minutes late for my shift picking cat hair out of my mouth anymore.

Next time you might hear the tale of how I got my name.

(That's it for the first bit, the formatting could have been better I know but i didnt expect you could post that much in 1 post. Made my spacing kind of wonky. Thoughts?)

Do we actually have a timeline for the Harem Knights? It's getting too big to just find easily.

>>20750202
From what I can gather the only concrete pieces we have canonized is the summoning during the winter where the felim found us shortly after, and 4 years later the Orcs attack. The rest seems to kinda of float in between stuff based around those two times.

>>20750158
Damnnit, I was expecting a happy story. Why would you do this to me?

File: 1347838404260.jpg-(60 KB, 527x681, 1303116756643.jpg)

>>20749345
Jousting is a tricky thing. Sure, it looks like it'd be easy to hold a lance in place, but it's more difficult when doing so from a galloping horse, trying to aim towards the sweet spot of an enemy, his head. What's more, both participants tend to get hit often, so you're always anxiously expecting a nasty impact. Indeed, both players tend to come out with bruises or even broken bones, if you're unlucky.

However, it was no surprise when I found myself smashed down several times. Lances are a whole different thing from my area of expertise, swords, unfortunately.

I was proud to have actually made it to the semifinals with a few cheers, but it was unlikely I'd advance much further. With a resigned sigh, I checked the sun. Fencing wasn't for another few hours. I took a short stroll, wondering what to do when I found one of the smaller arenas, bleachers on either side, covered with sand on the ground, and two metal bars at either end. Odd, I thought..... unless...... oh lord, did they?

No, that's just silly.....

Oh sweet Emprah they did.

>>20750158
>Waifu loves someone to mother and dote on
>Not making your own with Waifu

niggah, do you even waifu?

Other than that, pretty decent. Try going into a bit of detail on your daily lives instead of giving us such weapon & armor porn.

>>20750202
Most stories take place in a 5 year period. One guy brought it all the way to a character's natural death, but that's sort of minimal in world-canon building beyond one cave.

I should really get working on my next piece. Is Sir Dustyn, Blades Master done with his piece yet? Maybe he'd like to start the next thread?

>>20750202
Not much is set in stone, but we're pretty lax about what goes anyways. This allows us to write stories pretty much anywhere in the timeline without much hassle. The only real pet peeve we have is not to add major events (like, kingdom destroying stuff) without group consensus, and not to do much with other peoples' characters besides a cameo or reference unless they give the OK.

So, the worldmap. are there any other continents?

>>20750254
This was more of an intro to the character and setting up how he rolls than anything super solid.

>Not making your own with Waifu

>niggah, do you even waifu?

Not for lack of trying! (Maybe i'll elaborate later on, but she's also not the only waifu in the sea!)

The arms and armour porn were for more illustrative purposes, as he fights with gear vastly different than the majority of the knights. There will be some in later chapters, though nowhere near as much now that it's all set up.

And who doesn't love armour and weapon porn?

>>20750410
Yes and no, yes as in they are there no as in they are suposedly impossible to get too due to magic storms

>>20750410
The current map alone is supposed to be roughly the size of Western Europe, so plenty of room to explore for now, though I don't think we ever decided what was on those islands.

I take it it is too late to create a charecter?

>>20750454
Not at all

>>20750450
Those are the kanin's homeland, I think.
Speaking of which, has anyone written about them? I remember something about swords that pass though people without cutting, but change their shape or something. Sounds useful.

File: 1347839686735.jpg-(16 KB, 300x259, urumi.jpg)

>>20750422
>Vastly different gear
This is an army /tg/ made. Any squad is liable to have a member with a glaive, katana, claymore, or an urumi and they will argue what's best at any given moment.

Just finished, 2500 words. If you want me to start a new thread I will.

I sense a large half-cat and half-elf population in the future.

>>20750422
Do you even TG. Lots of character have some odd weapon or armor.

>>20750480
For their wargames, the Kanin invented swords that merely transform the target into a small animal when struck.
Besides that we've only decided that they tend to be brave and loyal, like actual dogs. Also belly rubs.

On a side note: transforming mechanical sword. Someone have that be a project in the research labs. Because it's kickass and also science.

>>20750410
Not without crossing the Knoll Wastes or Elven realms, which is very ill advised for a number of reasons. There are tales of other lands though (think India or some such), particularly from traders following the coasts. The distances are long and the way trecherous, and communication is equally difficult, however, so few if any ever return. Most prefer to stick around the main continent, and it's roughly the size of Western Europe (even larger, by some accounts), so don't worry, there's plenty of space to roam.

>>20750450
The Kanin, dog-girls.

>>20750454
There were 1000+ fa/tg/uys to survive the first winter. Go for it.

>>20750504
Almost to autosage. I eagerly await.

>>20750526
Or better yet, chainswords. Somebody's got to be working on chainswords.

>>20750422
No, it's not that, it's just that the descriptions of the items were much more lush than everything else, so it seemed imbalanced to the rest of the narrative. I do the same, for certain, but I'm just pointing it out.

Speaking of which, I think the next thread we should describe our character's physical traits and kit, get that stuff out of the way so that we can at the least have easier cross references. Furthermore, I think we should flesh out exactly who makes up the inner circle of the Council of DMs. So far I think there's Sir Gavin, Sir Giovani, Sir Alaric, Sir Artorias, Sir Fearghaile, and maybe Sir Lyrik, and Sir Dustyn. The 7 DMs is a nice prime number.

Shit, i guess that means I need to go find a suitable OP pic, unless there is no problem posting the .png format of the map, or if I can get away with changing a pixel or two on the .jpg and reposting it.

>>20750549
That's tricky, as it requires a small engine and tiny pieces we don't have, as well as fuel. I think a spring loaded switchaxe a la Monster Hunter would be developed first.

>>20750597
We do have magic, though. Fatwelder's story mentioned crystals enchanted such that they spun at high speeds. Boom, instant miro-engine.

File: 1347840702739.jpg-(34 KB, 338x450, Expert on this subject.jpg)

>>20750512
As a matter of fact, yes! I even delved into the genetics and physiology of such offspring, including (lightly) the question of why humans can breed and produce half-human children with other species, when conventional genetics should render it impossible. I also touched on the 'breed-true' problem. Long story short, humans can only come from two human parents. Any other combination will produce a half-breed, or pure-blood of a non-human species. I'd elaborate, but it's late and I need sleep.

May write some more tomorrow, if I can find the time! A bit of slice-of-life could be nice... Or yet another adventure that results in good times, but ultimately leaves Sir Andrew waifu-less. The major issue is that I know people who read this board irl, so any waifu I write, I'll get relentlessly teased about...

>>20750576
http://i.imgur.com/rpOgw.jpg

If it's got to do with the blades, that might work.

>>20750658
>pic
The strongest expert.

>>20750672

Oh god I fucking love it. The really sad thing is that it fits almost perfectly with what I wrote. I'm definitely going to use it, but not as the OP.

How close are we to autosage? I want to know if I should continue the tournament story now, or wait so people can read it.

>>20750574
Thanks for the constructive criticism, hopefully my follow up chapter(s) will be more balanced out.
>>20750756
Pretty damn close, I would guess within 10 posts.

>>20750756
we're at about 260 posts, autosage is 300

>>20750805
Eh, I guess I can wait a minute for the new thread.

File: 1347841491787.jpg-(96 KB, 700x979, DAORKEST.jpg)

>>20750658
I just had a thought...

>She-Ork learns ice magic
>dyes hair blue and wears blue dress
> ⑨ STRONGEST ⑨

I shooped this picture especially for right now.

In that case people can go ahead and finish up their stories. We already know no ones going to really post anything close to the autosage.

In the mean time I need to find a bloody OP pic.