You are a fighter pilot of the 501st Joint Fighter Squadron, and you're having trouble remembering how you got here. The lightbulb must've been shattered at some point, for only the dim light seeping past the doorjamb lets you make out the piles of strewn linens all about the roomy closet. Somebody soft and pleasant is snuggled against you, and you ache in places you weren't sure you have. Through your haze of contentment, a single eye rolls its gaze towards the door. The automatic lock is nice, but beyond that door lie many, many, *many* problematic things you've successfully ignored for days - nay, weeks - already, and should you venture back out there, they might find you again. *Responsibility.*You shudder with horror. Fighter pilots just don't DO that sort of thing. >Abscond with Minna>Barricade the door and stand your linen-y ground>Steal a march on responsibility, relocate to higher ground
Ironically bad is still bad
>>20547684>>Barricade the door and stand your linen-y groundPILLOW FORT
>Barracade doorWe've got a fucking medal of honor, and were just in a huge fucking battle yesterday. Fuck responsibility.
>>20547695And yet it's still not the worst thing on /tg/.Which is pretty sad.
Barricade the fucking door, we deserve a shitton of fucking R&R and so does Minna.
>>20547717>my face when I walked right fucking into this
FUCK RESPONSABILITY.BARRICADE Cuddle.
>>20547684>Barricade the door and stand your linen-y groundPillow fort in Minna's office. It happens now.
>Abscond to higher ground! We shall outrun responsibility!
>Abscond with Mi-Wait.>and you ache in places you weren't sure you have. HAH. ABOUT GODDAMN TIME.
>>20547719Agreed. We've earned some non-responsiblity for a little. Also, if I see that goddamn Patton one more time...
>Abscond with Minna>Barricade the door and stand your linen-y groundAbscond sounds fancy
>>20547764Fuck Patton. I don't care what he comes up with. We're staying with Minna.
>Build pillow fort>Zucchini destroys itWar... War never changes
>>20547738Hell yes. We finally get the pillow fort we demanded!
>>20547738Where is your god now, Planefag? >Inb4 Planefag totals the Neo-Pillowfort in revengeEither way it'll be hilarious.However, this is probably slightly more likely to succeed. Going to ground works better if you have a way out should things get hairy>[x]Abscond with Minna
Planefag, I love you and all, but PILLOWFORT.
Minna murmurs and turns over in her sleep, wrapping herself even deeper in a huge sheet. You shift away from the cocooned German, savoring the sense of contentment and warm peace in your soul -- you tense, eyes darting to the door, but nobody and nothing comes smashing through, shouting about something implausible but alarming. It seems to be a natural law of Barin, inevitable as the sunrise, and this time, you just won't fucking tolerate it.Moving swiftly, you liberate a dusty-looking desk chair and prop it under the knob, reinforcing it by shoving two mattresses under the raised chair legs. You're just looking for something wooden and shimmy to ram into the doorjamb when Minna stirs and pulls some sheet away from her eyes, blinking at you sleepily. "Wanna talk?" A cold chill shoots up your spine. As you eye the now thoroughly-barricaded door, you comprehend your error. Minna is smirking at you like a cat-eating wolf.
>Barricade the door and stand your linen-y groundI kinda like the sound of thisStealing a march sounds like too much work, and MINNA absconded with US
>>20547832Heh. hehehe. Thank you predictable anonymous.
>>20547832Do we have a parachute?
>>20547832I feel like all we accomplished was trapping rather than protecting ourselves...
Nothing wrong with talking
>>20547832We have no choice."A-about what?"
>>20547832So. Minna. What about Edinburgh and Sean?
>>20547832Right as I barricaded the door. You clever minx. What did you want to talk about sweetheart?
>>20547832Now sound like a good time to test that "Minna will kick her leg up and down when you rub her belly" Theory
>>20547890We must know. For SCIENCE.
>>20547890Who's a good girl? Who's a good girl? You are! Yes, you are!
>>20547832We walked right into that."Sure." And settle back down onto some linens. May as well be comfortable while we endure this.
>>20547890This. But try and don't tickle her. Our currently benevolent ball of teutonic martial prowess might start flailing and do something we will regret.
"SURE!" you say from the other side of the closet."C'mere," Minna growls softly. "I don't think I can survive a second go," you admit honestly. "Then don't get me frustrated by making me repeat myself," she rumbles sexily. "C'MERE." "Nuuuuuuh-" you begin, but Minna springs off the stacked mattresses in the closet's rear corner and seizes you by the wrist, dragging you back to her den with ease. She wraps a twisted sheet around your arms, neatly pinning you, then folds you in her big one, cuddling up to her prize. "Gotcha." "Shit," you opine honestly, and she sniggers wickedly. "So, uh, what do you want to talk about?" Minna regards you seriously, which is hard to do when you're touching nose-to-nose, but she manages. "Well, what do you *think?*""ASDIC to Cap'n, high-speed screws detected!" you cry with unfeigned alarm. "FAC here, I see three flak guns deployed in a triangle! Gee Billy, what's that funny whistling noise up there?" Minna's face goes blank and then - then, she *pouts.* She actually pouts. Her cheeks puff out, her lips turn in, and she puts on a pout the equal of any fourteen-year-old Japanese girl. You know Minna to be formidable and terrible in her wrath, a vengeful Knight of the Teutonic Order, so the one thing you never expected from her is a god-damned POUT. >WE CAN'T REPEL D'AAW OF THIS MAGNITUDE>I'm a FIGHTER PILOT! Nobody is more immature then I!>I know what this Witch is up to - guess and guess right!
>WE CAN'T REPEL D'AAW OF THIS MAGNITUDE
>>20547957>WE CAN'T REPEL D'AAW OF THIS MAGNITUDE
>>20547957>WE CAN'T REPEL D'AAW OF THIS MAGNITUDEI have no choice.
>>20547957as much as i want to, i don't feel like it'd be safe to be immature now...either succumb to the d'awww or take a shot in the dark
>WE CAN'T REPEL D'AAW OF THIS MAGNITUDEeven we can't stand against a MEEYAFUUGII pout
>>20547957MY FUCKING HEART.
>>20547957Can I vote for all of these?"You want to talk about what I walked in on that had you shell-shocked. ...Please, please, tell me that's what it is."
>>20547957>WE CAN'T REPEL D'AAW OF THIS MAGNITUDEWe have to ask her who the fuck taught her that.
>>20547957>WE CAN'T REPEL D'AAW OF THIS MAGNITUDEThis is something that would kill any other Human being, but not us.
>>20547957You really expect us to fight this?
>>20547957See, when I give choices with obvious answers, no one posts.God dammit.
>>20547957>WE CAN'T REPEL D'AAW OF THIS MAGNITUDEMarry me. Right now.
>>20547957>WE CAN'T REPEL D'AAW OF THIS MAGNITUDEDammit, that's just too cute.
>>20547998beat me to the punch on posting that
A little Japanese girl pouting is powerful indeed, but, in the end, is only an accentuation of their natural and constant state of cuteness. But a pout from a stiff-backed German minx is something altogether different. It's cuteness edged with the harsh and terrible wrath of German Determination. The Iron of the Eagle is lurking behind that limpid gaze, and before it you must yield. Besides, she's got you tied up with no witnesses. "... okay," you cave. "Um, you want to talk about US. About our future and making time for each other and mutual respect and the great and terrible 'L-word' and all that serious stuff. Right?"Minna cranes her neck away from you, staring at you in utter shock."No!"You blink."The fuck you mean, no? That's what it always is, isn't it? What'cha playing at?""I - I wanted to talk about Sean, and the assasination attempt on you and-""NUUUUU~" you object, squirming uncomfortably. "All that serious shit, that's terrible, you can't do that to me! Let's go shopping for lacy pillows and saucepans or some shit like that!"Minna is staring at you like you've just crawled out of the primordial sea and menaced her with your spikey tail. "What?"
>>20548103But that's what all girls do! Right?
>>20548103Are we trying to reverse the D'aww?
>>20548103>Did we even get a chance to bring up the assassination attempt>IIRC she pushed us into the medal ceremony without listening to us
>>20548103why is talking to difficult
>>20548103>Minna cranes her neck away from you, staring at you in utter shock.Her face when.
>>20548103>...you've just crawled out of the primordial sea and menaced her with your spikey tail. Well... She's HALF right
>>20548129She would have gotten a sitrep after she landed again. Assassination attempts are something you tell the base commander.
>>20548103This is perhaps the most bizarre example of dodging responsibility that I've ever read.
We probably should be worried about the assassination attempt. I mean, that was a pretty asshole move
>>20548103Uh- Clean some MG42?Fuck it!I don't know! What are you doing all day when you don't kill shit, command around people or borderline-rape me?This war shit is eating me alive as much as it does you!Is there no way for us to be just people for once?Then wait and see if she believes that.
>>20548172Right? Some fucking dickhead try's to kill us a .25 IIRC, I mean who does that? It's just offensive
>>20548197Yeah. Bastard could have at least had the decency to use a better cartridge.
>>20548197It's down right disrespectful is what it is. I mean hell, at least use the common cutesy of a .32. At least one of those started a world war.
"Well... most guys - ALL guys - I mean-""What!?" you say, utterly confused. "I'm being all supportive and shit. I don't do this for just anybody, you know.""They'reafraidofcommitment!" she exhales in a rush. "Are you just saying that because you're tied up with no witnesses around or something? You can't be serious."You blink erratically as the stupid blows your tubes clear out of your skull. "Afraid... of commitment," you repeat with astonishment. "Afraid... of... commitment. Where the fuck have YOU been? Because I'm pretty sure you were there when I dove after that FLYING FREIGHTER FORTRESS. And crash-landed into it. Or landed a twin-engined land bird on a goddamn carrier. Then took off from it. Or what about, okay, just getting into what is essentially a seat bolted to a fuel tank and flying the incredibly hostile skies. Commitment? Commitment? Save that shit for the write-in column of Better Homes and Gardens, sweetheart." Minna's face crumples inwards, and she tucks her nose against your chest as she starts crying.>CRITICAL HIT>OH FUCK ME>Succumb to the feels
>>20548222I dunno, let's go with>OH FUCK ME
>CRITICAL HIT>OH FUCK ME>Succumb to the feelsThese all feel like they are the same thing
>>20548222IT KEEPS HAPPENING
>>20548197>>20548211>>20548213Pfft you guys really think were worth anything better? Be happy it wasn't a knife
>Anemia opt- oh who the fuck am I kidding.>Succumb to the feels.
>>20548222>Succumb to the feelsJust hug her close, stroke her hair.Minna, it's okay. I'm not afraid of commitment or anything like that. I want to be with you, there's not question about that. Right now I don't want to talk about assassinations, death, my crewmates, I just want to be with you.
>>20548222>CRITICAL HITWhy can't we ever say anything right?
>>20548222> OH FUCK MEDon't you go crying on me now.This is even worse than serious stuff.Hey, assassination and stuff! We were talking.Focus, damn you!
>>20548222these all seem like the same option, but out of the 3, a mixture of >critical hit>succumb to the feels...there are no brakes
>>20548222>OH FUCK MEGod dammit, I am not good with this shit minna. can you untie me and us just... stay like this?
Hugs and slightly less harsh words are in order gentlemen. so I suppose succumb to feels.
>>20548222>CRITICAL HIT>OH FUCK ME>Succumb to the feelsYou didn't give us options, All of these just Cascade into each other! Not that I am complaining.
>>20548244>blaming ME for the trackscheck yo'self fagit
>[x] Make fort save against death from massive damage
>>20548222>it keeps happening
>>20548261This guy knows what he is talking about.
>>20548272>implying I'm complaining
>Succumb to the feelsSeems to be the day for it.
>>20548222>CRITICAL HIT>OH FUCK ME>Succumb to the feelsOh god, she's breaking down because she's found another guy who isn't afraid of committing to her. She's only found one of those before...
>>20548274>make pillow fort save
>>20548312Ohgod, we just got ourselves a movie- death sentence.
*He is not afraid of commitment. He shall be an excellent father in the event that he does not erupt into a fiery meteor in the skies. If I can secure him from the temptations of other women, then he is wholly mine, in body and spirit. Truly, I have been blessed.*
>>20548348blue on blue is about to skyrocket at Barain
>>20548222>Succumb to the feelsJust this once, we show some emotion.
>>20548312>>20548329>>20548331>>20548343Hi guys, whats going on over here?
rolled 76 + 5 = 81>>20548348And then Minna kidnaps the MC and locks him in the basement so he'll be "safe".Hell, we're already locked up so we're half way there.
>>20548348.....yep. I'd still hit it
>>20548262Because most of the story's readers become paste-eating retards when it comes to romance choices.
>>20548364>locks MC away in the basement>recall planefag saying something about new charactersOh dear.
>>20548385the wheel of conspiracy theories has come full circle. there will finally be a gnome locked in the basement
>>20548364Thus begins "Strike Gnomes II: The Binding of MC."
>>20548372MC himself certainly isn't helping. Look at all the stupid shit he says.
>>20548385There are worse fates. To the Minna-dungeon!
>>2054842350 Shades of BOUNCE?
>>20548431"I'm ok with the fisting, but I'd really like to claim your ass."
>>20548431Audiobook read by Gilbert Gottfried!!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K1RcKJVbHA
>>20548469Not as good as http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5oUa-3W0BFI&
"You're not a BURDEN, dummy," you tell her. "It's just, before, uh..." you try to figure out an explanation for your prior fear of Minna intimacy without admitting that you're an overbearing control freak like all pilots, but your limited mastery of phrases poetical fails you. So you decide on a more reliable course of action you're well familiar with - attack."It's just that letting your sexiness shut down my brain would be LOSING control, but I realized if you make a conscious decision to lose control, like starting a snap-roll or a spin, technically, uh, you have to be out of control before you're IN control, or-" you frown, your narrative drifting dangerously. "-well you're twice as bad for control freakism, so if I didn't let you jump me sooner or later you'd rape me so hard I'd die to death."You roll closer to Minna, hooking one leg over hers, and crane your neck forward, placing your chin on her head. Then you kind of shrug your shoulders forward, far as they'll go."What. The fuck. Are you doing," Minna murmurs into your chest darkly, her arms tightening around you almost painfully. "I'm trying to hug you but I can't because you TIED ME UP like the German Pilot commissioned officer you are, otherwise known as a TRIPLE control freak!" you wail, thrashing around madly. Minna is silent for several long, cold, terrifying seconds - and then she starts to giggle.
>>20548431Basement, or the 120 days of Minna.Narrated by Udo Kier.
>>20548492>she starts to giggle.All is right in the world.
>>20548492is this "Thats funny" giggling or "i have just gone full yandere mode" giggling?Just so i know which boner to pick.
>>20548528Does it truly matter?
>>20548541I need to know if I should bring out my "Satisfy you until you can't walk" boner or "JESUSCHRISTTHESEXYHORROR" boner
>>20548528"That's funny" giggling. Our one saving grace is that we're so ridiculous we can always make her laugh.That and the fact that we truly care about her.
>>20548554they serve the same purpose. no use trying to identify themthe mental image of MC trying to hug minna via shoulders is kinda d'aww inducing itself
>>20548554Oh, I see your point. It's "That's funny" giggling.
>Narrated by Udo KierI'd buy it
"You are such an asshole," Minna says, giggling like mad. "You are such a gigantic blowhard asshole.""FUCK YOU!" you roar, trying to escape in vain. Minna just giggles harder."And you're... such... a softy" she chokes out through tears of mirth. "Mein Gott, if you could see yourself..." she cracks up again, laughing so hard she can barely breathe. "So worried somebody's going to catch you being nice and unstylish..." she's almost dying with laughter now.After a while, she finally winds down, and collapses against you, spent. "So. There IS something we should talk about. It involves our dear friends, after all.">Sure, lets.>I want to ask you about something first...
>>20548619Yes, you would. But not because it was your idea.
>>20548619>Sakamoto's ass and legs
>>20548671>Sure, lets.Go ahead snookums. What did you want to talk about?
>>20548671>Sure, lets.Because honestly, we really should talk about that assassin.
>>20548671>Sure, lets.add honey in there somewhere
>>20548671I'm tempted to ask whether or not she's over her little stress-fit that she was having before all of...this, but down that path leads destruction.>sure, lets.
>>20548693Indeed, fucker was an arsehole as stated above.
>>20548683>SakamotoThat ain't no Sakamoto, maboi.
>>20548671>Sure, lets.HA HA TIME FOR WAYS TO MORE ACCURATELY CALL SEAN A LEPRECHAUN
>>20548671>Sure, lets.Let's get down to business.
>>20548683but the witch on the bottom is clearly not sakamoto
>>20548671>Sure, lets.Alright, let's get it over with.
>>20548720To defeat... THE HUNS!Wait...
>>20548741I'm really happy i wasn't the only person who thought that
>>20548732So they all look alike from the ass-end. This is... interesting. What does it mean?
>>20548741Did they send me daughters? oh, wait
>>20548754It means people are recognized by their faces for a reason.
>>20548720TO DEFEAT! THE HUNS!
>>20548754But Sakamoto has a ponytail.
>>20548754Double Ass-cheek all the way across the sky?
>>20548754this means we could be surrounded by a sea of ass and not know which one to put it in. this could be troublesome
>>20548761somehow I'll....make a man...out of youuuuuuuMC should have sung this song when he was giving everyone pants
>>20548741Große überseeische Aufgaben sind es, die dem neu entstandenen Deutschen Reiche zugefallen sind, Aufgaben weit größer, als viele Meiner Landsleute es erwartet haben. Das Deutsche Reich hat seinem Charakter nach die Verpflichtung, seinen Bürgern, sofern diese im Ausland bedrängt werden, beizustehen. Die Aufgaben, welche das alte Römische Reich deutscher Nation nicht hat lösen können, ist das neue Deutsche Reich in der Lage zu lösen. Das Mittel, das ihm dies ermöglicht, ist unser Heer.In dreißigjähriger treuer Friedensarbeit ist es herangebildet worden nach den Grundsätzen Meines verewigten Großvaters. Auch ihr habt eure Ausbildung nach diesen Grundsätzen erhalten und sollt nun vor dem Feinde die Probe ablegen, ob sie sich bei euch bewährt haben. Eure Kameraden von der Marine haben diese Probe bereits bestanden, sie haben euch gezeigt, daß die Grundsätze unserer Ausbildung gute sind, und Ich bin stolz auf das Lob auch aus dem Munde auswärtiger Führer, das eure Kameraden draußen sich erworben haben. An euch ist es, es ihnen gleich zu tun.
>>20548795Eine große Aufgabe harrt eurer: ihr sollt das schwere Unrecht, das geschehen ist, sühnen. Die Chinesen haben das Völkerrecht umgeworfen, sie haben in einer in der Weltgeschichte nicht erhörten Weise der Heiligkeit des Gesandten, den Pflichten des Gastrechts Hohn gesprochen. Es ist das um so empörender, als dies Verbrechen begangen worden ist von einer Nation, die auf ihre uralte Kultur stolz ist. Bewährt die alte preußische Tüchtigkeit, zeigt euch als Christen im freudigen Ertragen von Leiden, möge Ehre und Ruhm euren Fahnen und Waffen folgen, gebt an Manneszucht und Disziplin aller Welt ein Beispiel.Ihr wißt es wohl, ihr sollt fechten gegen einen verschlagenen, tapferen, gut bewaffneten, grausamen Feind. Kommt ihr an ihn, so wißt: Pardon wird (euch) nicht gegeben, Gefangene werden nicht gemacht. Führt eure Waffen so, daß auf tausend Jahre hinaus kein Chinese mehr es wagt, einen Deutschen scheel anzusehen. Wahrt Manneszucht.Der Segen Gottes sei mit euch, die Gebete eines ganzen Volkes, Meine Wünsche begleiten euch, jeden einzelnen. Öffnet der Kultur den Weg ein für allemal!Nun könnt ihr reisen! Adieu Kameraden!
Holy fuck I thought this was dead.I want you all to know that I've started smoking Chesterfields because of you.
>>20548823One of us, One of us!
>>20548823>Chesterfields>2012Show me your time machine and then explain to me why you use it to go back and buy shitty brands of cigarettes
>>20548839Would you take a look at that slut.
>>20548848>slut>clearly a man
>>20548857>implying men can't be sluts
>>20548847he can smoke whatever he wants if he shares his time machine
>>20548847They still make chesterfields. The brand got sold to Phillip-Morris back in '99.
You're DYING to ask about the whole "magic ears-and-tail" thing, but Minna has a point - you are worried about two of your friends in particular. "Lemme guess. Sean and Sakamoto?""Mmm," she concurs. "Sean is still denying his magic."You sigh. "I can understand his reluctance.""When did you... get over it, anyhow?'"Well, I WAS terrified at the political fallout," you admit, "but... Frank Luke, he let on that he wasn't totally ignorant of it. And after I jumped a lightning-surfing shark-plane over the Spruce Goose with Nikolai Fucking Tesla riding shotgun, after crash-landing an A-20 onto a flying great-lakes freighter crewed by alien invaders from another world..." you shrug. "Magic? Big fucking deal." Minna nods, smirking. "But it's a little more personal for Sean." "Yeah," you agree. "Old-world thinking in his upbringing. Men guard the homestead with iron and women guard with their magic-""-and Ireland has one of the strongest Witch traditions in all history," Minna finishes. "So magic is almost tantamount to being female...""And then there's the fact he's just a massively stubborn asshole," you mutter. "It's amazing. He and Ian once argued about whether cheese tastes yellow.""Who won?""He did, of course."
>>20548860The biggest slut. Even more so than Perrine.
>>20548775... you were looking at her HEAD!?
>>20548880Oh Ian, I know what it means to be an intellectual and to argue with idiots... You just can't win, can you buddy?
>>20548880>he didthem fookin' irish
>>20548816Not quite.This speech was what earned German soldiers the name "Huns". Even though that word is not even part of the speech. And it's neither actually good nor really part of an important mission.
>>20548880I still don't understand WHY Sean, or even MC, has to admit to themselves they have magic.It's not like you're going to unlock some hidden potential with your belief.
>>20548906Okay. I am not that versed in Prussian history. Why Huns? I also don't see it in that speech.
>>20548920It's about control. When you admit to yourself you have magic, you gain a great deal of control over it, and it lets you do things you could never accomplish without that control.
>>20548920If you know you have the magic, if you admit it to yourself then you can start thinking outside the box. You can start pulling things off like blowing out lights around us, or doing things we know should be impossible.
>>20548920Politiks.Also probably related to why MC was the target of an assassin.
>>20548920admit you have magic-> can actually do the impossible regularly instead of pushing the limits of possible occasionally.For instance, we can explode lightbulbs with our minds. didn't help much against sakamoto, but there ya go
>>20548920It sort-of does. If you think you're just a good shot, you'll hold yourself back from some things, like "Eh, even I couldn't make that shot". But if you know you have Magic guiding your aim, you're going to feel much more confident pushing the limits.
>>20548889those are fightin' wordsno one could be sluttier than perrine
>>20548880Well he was fucking right.
>>20548939Ah. Makes some sense.
>>20548955Come now, it's sultry, not slutty.
>>20548960only certain cheeses taste like yellow though
>>20548975The French are both
Oh man, can we ask her if we can get a familiar of our own? Magic boost is worth the furrification.
>>20548993what cheese tastes sour
>>20549001Magic boost is not worth listening to the rest of our crew give us shit about having a fluffy tail and a second set of ears.
>>20549001We should get a bear.
>>20549006several of them
>>20549001how do familiars even work? can they see them? can other's see them?
"Well," Minna continues, "Sakamoto is getting... frustrated." "Who wouldn't? He's a magnificently stalwart son-of-a-bitch." "No," Minna says. "*Frustrated.*" ".... oh," you say. "Oh. OH. Oh, shit." "Yeah," Minna agrees. "Sakamoto is... how you Americans say - gung-ho? If the word 'atchung!' was personified, it'd be Sakamoto." "So if we don't bring him 'round, he's going to suffer when Sakamoto finally snaps."Minna nods. "That's what I tried to tell you on the tower the other night... before you jumped off the fucking thing. I sent a request to the Witch fortress in Endinburgh. They turned up some very interesting things relating to Sean's family line, and the magical traits he might possess. I think we can lay a trap for him - get him to do something even he can't deny is magical.""So what's his ability?""Fire-watcher. Camp guard. Outer rider. Lots of names, but they all relate to the same idea - a man-at-arms skilled at finding that which is hidden, at sensing danger before it comes. It was first recognized as a magical trait by witches centuries ago."
>>20549011this. if we ever got fluffy ears and a tail, we could never fly anything that wasn't snap rolls because our crew would constantly be laughing at us
>>20548955>filenamethat's just cruel
>>20549021dis gun be good
>>20548993There's yellow, orange and white., that's the three types of cheese, and they all taste yellow. And if you say blue that's not cheese, I don't know what it is but its most certainly the work of Satan.>>20548995Man it really hurts when you get yoghurt in your eyes. These witches really need help eating, I mean come on Sanya spills ice cream on her face, and Perrine somehow manages this?
>>20549021So Sean is a Jedi?
>>20549021So he's suited to sitting at a watchtower all day hue hue hue
>>20549051No, but he has spider-sense. He possesses far too much common sense to be a Jedi.
>>20549013Dude, we're a fighter pilot. Bears don't fly. We need a hawk or eagle or something. Ooh... maybe we can send our bird out to shit on people we don't like. Is that... is that how this works? I honestly have no clue.
>>20549021Time to get back at Sean for scaring our little sister half to death?Time to get back at him.Though doesn't his implied ability - the ability to sense danger - mean that we won't have much success in springing an ambush on him?
>>20549001I don't think male magic works that way or can you not hear me with your head up your ass?
>>20549066>Bears don't flywut you say motherfucker
>>20549067i dont think what minna's thinking of is relying on ambush surprise. if anything, it's relying on sean to notice said ambush in as implausible a way as possible
>>20549054Causing a commotion 'cause they are so awesome!
>>20549066None of the strike witches have animals that fly. There might be a single bat-witch in the entirety of the universe.
>>20549067That's the pointWe are going to trick him into revealing his own magical abilities.
>>20549066Cats don't fly but most witches have that or a breed of dog as a familiar.
>>20549081So we need to hire a platoon of ninjas?
You squinch your eyes, thinking. "Son of a bitch. Our first night here, when the Martian ground forces attacked - he woke me up a few minutes before the attack went down. He fucking knew." Minna nods."And - you know, Patton said something about it, afterwards. Right down to that camp-watcher stuff.""They say he's a history freak," Minna agrees. "Stands to reason.""I should talk to him. He might back us up. Show Sean the brass - well, the brass... at least suspect." You watch Minna carefully for her reaction.She nods hesitantly. "Luke does. Which is why the bastard made sure you stayed here. And the higher-ups aren't fighting it very hard, if at all." "Not helping much, either," you grump."Of course. Plausible deniability." She purses her lips. "Might want to wait till after lunch to talk to Patton, though - most of the brass were at the party when the Martian psi-attack occurred."
>>20549097Get the Japanese witches.
>>20549083you're joking right
>>20549110Those are all samurai, they don't know enough about sneaking.
>>20549066>bears don't flyAU CONTRAIREhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twQlpFrm5iM
>>20549107>Give up our friend to the Brass until they break his mind and make him realize he's a little girl on the insideYo, whoa, wait a second...
>>20549127>>20549128Those will work.
>>20549083u wot m8?
>>20549119... what on earth?
"... psi attack?""Uh, hello?" Minna says. "Did you not notice General Arnold tripping over his dates? He barely knew what YEAR it was, let alone month!" "... oh," you say distantly. "I was still too busy being stunned.""By the way, you were still in your dress uniform when I tore it off. Might want to get that looked at."You look around the dimly-lit room. "Oh dear." >Patton's tough. Lets find him and begin THE MISSION. >Lets find Ian and get him on our side, first.>Lets do something else
>>20549127 Aurora is the best stealthwitch
>>20549119dear lord i didn't know this had a sequel
>>20549126After the shit he pulled with Robin? No mercy.>>20549107Actually, shouldn't we ask how Sanya, and the Night Witches, took that psi-attack? Aren't Radio Witches especially vulnerable to Martian psi-comms?
>>20549154>Lets do something elselets kill the hater!
>>20549154>Lets find Ian and get him on our side, first.We need him with us, if he's not in on the plan he'll fuck it up somehow.
>>20549154"There's some of it on the ceiling."We have time, let's take it.
>Lets find Ian and get him on our side, first.Sean must see reason.
>>20549154We never really considered how that Psi attack effected Sanyan~
>>20549013>>20549013>Bear not flying>year of our lord 2012
>>20549154Ian first.Also, you are now realising that just by planning something, we've set Sean's Leprechaun senses tingling.
>>20549162>>20549171this. we should check on her. then get Ian, and start planning whatever it is minna has in mind to get sean to admit that he's the little girl
>>20549154>Lets do something elseCan we talk about the assassin? Because I know we must have pissed of so many people, wishing us bodily harm, but no one's actually pulled a gun on us AND fired it before.Well, except for Sanya. Because we were being a jerk to her.
>>20549154>Ianit's time for some real talkNeed bros for real talk.
>>20549154>Holy fuck I made it for the first time in ages WOO[x] Do something else.SomeONE else, you mean. Y'know, what with your uniform already off and all.Followed by [x] Ian and then [x] MISSION
>>20549154>Lets find Ian and get him on our side, first.Then make sure Sanya and the rest of the Night witches are OK.>>20549172
>>20549188...we already *did* that.
>>20549154We need to regroup with Ian! Nothing bad can happen from this!
>>20549154IanBackup, I think. Patton's cool, but iunno if we have brownie points to spend on making him help
>>20549154>DRESS UNIFORMS COST A FORTUNE
>>20549179That's part of the plan. He has two choices either let us go through with the plan that will prove he has Leprechaun senses or actively try to prevent it which will accomplish the same thing.
>>20549172Why the fuck didn't I think of that?
>Lets find Ian and get him on our side, first.This is a good idea
>>20549209glorious soviet engineering make bear fly!
>Let's find Ian and get him on our side.ALSO. He's our size right? Let's just take the medals off OUR dress uniform, and put them on HIS. VOILA. New dress uniform.
Due to Seans extensive time with Ian and MC, one would think he has developed a sort of subconscious sensitivity to their shenanigans.I suggest Ian and us indirectly assist the plan without actually stalking him.
>>20549154Ask after Santa and the little sister brigade.
>>20549219I miss him.
>>20549154>Do something elseSO WHILE WE'RE IN THIS CLOSET, DO YOU THINK WE COULD SET UP A TIME TO GO OVER THIS WHOLE MAGIC THING AND MAYBE HELP ME GET BETTER AT IT?
>>20549237His best moment was telling some /fit/ fag to "go back to board of narcissist homogay." That was sublime.
>>20549248i think santa would be better>HO HO HO MOTHERFUCKER
>>20549253I dunno, we know that there's a Gnome Conspiracy, and apparently has been for a while now. Shouldn't we go to them instead?
>>20549196wait what when
speaking of night witches>mixing up heidi and princess
>>20549274Repeatedly, all night long.
>>20549253I don't think Minna can really help us with our "magic" if you wanna call it that. It's more along the lines of breaking probability over our knee with machines...making them do things they should not be able to do. If you were going to ask any of the witches, it'd be best to ask Shirley>>20549260>go back to board of narcissist homogaymy sides
>>20549274in the space between the last thread and this one. PF does the classy fade-to-black
>>20549280No, I'm pretty sure the only witch we've sex'd is Waltrud.
>>20549274....just now, genius. We woke up aching in this closest, clothes strewn all around us, with Minna snuggled on our arm.NEWSFLASH: WE JUST BOINKED THE REDHEAD
>>20549298PF is a virgin and doesn't know how to write a sex scene.
>>20549304>Somebody soft and pleasant is snuggled against you, and you ache in places you weren't sure you have>"I don't think I can survive a second go," you admit honestly. it happened
>>20549311No, that's me.
This is for you, planefag
>>20549318>Implying the fapfictions aren't goldDear sir, you are far too humble.
>>20549304den·si·ty [den-si-tee]noun, plural den·si·ties.1.the state or quality of being dense; compactness; closely set or crowded condition.2.stupidity; slow-wittedness; obtuseness.3.An Aviator; pilot4.the number of inhabitants, dwellings, or the like, per unit area
>>20549323I wrote one and a half; the majority of others are by Fapfiction or Murdock.
"The Psi attack didn't harm Sanya, did it!?" you ask, worried. "No more then everybody else," Minna tells you. "Nobody really knows why, either. Perhaps because it was aimed at humans in general; it wasn't a typical signal, but-""What the fuck does that even MEAN?" "Exactly. We just don't know enough about it." After unwrapping herself, and untying you, Minna helps you pick the pieces of your uniform off the floor... and ceiling. Aside from a few missing buttons it's none the worse for wear, considering your eventful combat mission. Even your scalp wound failed to get blood on the collar.After getting you and herself dressed again, Minna knocks the chair away from the door with startling ease, and opens it. Paddy Mayne and Reggie look in at you, faces composed. Reggie steps into the closet, passed the utterly stunned Minna, and holds up two fingers. "How many fingers am I holding up?" "How many crumpets should I shove up your nose?" you retort, face flushing. Reggie turns back to Paddy. "Not even a concussion." Paddy glowers at Reggie, and from his wallet removes a ten-pound note. The currency changes hands, leaving Reggie with a rather satisfied look.
>>20549311>didn't read the subwitches fapfic>>20549333Yeah, but at least you can rest easy knowing you started something wonderful.
>>20549332>An Aviator; pilotHuh?
>>20549339> The currency changes hands, leaving Reggie with a rather satisfied look.Heh.
>>20549339"...how long have you assholes been out here?"
>>20549339>"No more then everybody else,">then>THENPlanefag... planefag never changes...
>>20549339Were we just the subject of a bet?...BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA>also, I shudder to think of how many fraternization regs we've just brokenpic unrelated but still cool
>>205493445.This anon right here.
>>20549370Surely you mean this.
>>20549366Different National Services means it's a-okay.Or put another way:A witch gives absolutely no fucks about "regs" when she chooses someone to bang, and the regs don't even try.
>>20549379You do know that plutonium is fuckin' dense, right?
You know, considering how hung-up Minna and MC have been on the issue of sex, and all the shenanigans that revolved around it, I'm kinda disappointed that he just had it occur offscreen. Not asking him to write a fapfic, but some buildup, or some "And then Minna pulled you into the pile of clothes and didn't let you up till she was satisfied." Something concrete.
>>20549383Witches seem hyper unprofessional, but this is the 40s, unlike modern volunteerism militaries, the draft era.. leaves a lot to be desired
>>20549387Not as dense as Quark Matter.
>>20549339Is this a linen closet or a supply closet?Is there a mop?Can we apply a mop to Reggie's face?
Impromptu poll: how many people actually thought MC and Minna DIDN'T have sex?Impromptu poll the second: How many people actually thought I'd write explicit sex-scenes on worksafe, newly-moderated /tg/? This isn't the days of monstergirl waifu fapfic anymore, people.I miss those threads.
>>205494011 for thinking they didn't have sex1 for PF not writing smut.
>>20549339I really want to know what exactly that bet was about.Was it the concussion, was it whose uniform would be more torn?>>20549379I stand by my word.
>>205494011) No, it was clear, people are just dumb.2) Sadly not. There's always Tofusaur.
>>205494011: I did. 2: I didn't expect a fapfic, but I'd expected something more than "your muscles hurt." That could be written off as pain from getting violently pulled into a small closet.
>>20549392well, the brass of the SWQ world mostly leave the witches to their own designs when it comes to internal workings. Don't want to mess with hundreds of years of pantsless and relatively efficient self-organization>>20549401figured they had sex when MC talked about being sore, and knew you wouldn't write it because you got upset at the suggestion a while back
>>20549401Duh, they had sex.And no, I didn't think you would.
>>205494011: I thought the implication that they had sex was blindingly obvious, essentially impossible to miss.2: Yeah, nah, didn't expect anything of the sort.
>>205494011 for being surprised there is a linen closet left after those two had sex.1 for being sad that the days of the monstergirl waifu fapfic being over.
>>205494011 sex was a given2 I kinda figured you would not go into detail
>>20549401Nope.Pretty sure the NSFW thing only applies to images, but no, never thought you'd do it. Pussy.
>>20549401Poll 1: I'm not THAT dense.Poll 2: Eh... figured you'd write it how you'd write it.
>>205494011. Kind of obvious they did.2. I knew you'd pussy out.
>>205494011:No one but the trolls think MC and Minna didn't have sex.2:Not unless you're secretly fapfic
>>20549401I thought the were playing bedtop sports for indoor types.In this thread the only lewdness I expect is hand holding, and contact with testicles via fast moving body parts.
>>205494011: I'm feeling pretty H2 right now. So no, I figured out that MC plus frustrated Minna plus closet plus torn clothing plus sore parts (how did he not know he had that, I mean it's not exactly hidden) plus her sleeping peacefully afterwards can mean nothing but manic trauma-driven sex.2: I would not expet such lack of taste regardless of rule enforcement.
>>205494011: at first I didn't as well the pain could be from getting hit, then shoved into a closet. That and I wasn't expecting the Minna romance arc to be half-assed.2:Are they actually getting rid of all the thinly disguised fetish threads or no? Sounds more like quest discrimination.Not to mention all teh threads with sexism, various insults concerning autism, head up asses, etc.
>>205494011: yes they did2: no, based on the last time we did it
>>205494011.) I think they did, but I also think something terrible is about to happen.2.) That'd be a stupid idea to do on this newly moderated board, and I though Gen-A was still running.
We need to tell Miyafugi how Minna has been keeping a cat with her all this time.
I had to read the post twice to get that they had sex. Maybe I'm just so used to sex being obvious that I can't pick up hints anymore.
I cannot believe anyone hostestly thinks Minna and MC didn't have sex. You can't be that dumb.
>>20549416how do carrier witches even work then, or tank witches for that matter, I mean carrier flight is pretty much organized chaos, and tank battles are an elegant dance of organization across the dune seas and plains. Sorry, now its trying to get be to become like one of those SWOs and i am not one of those terrible bastards.
>>20549401You could always put the fapfic on pastebin and then link it with a warning about Mature Content. Then the neckbeards who want 18+ can get their rocks off while the ones who want All-Ages stuff can ignore the link. Then everybody's happy.1 vote for thinking Minna rode the MC like a horse all night.
>>20549494Did you not see the dense-ception up there? There were people misinterpreting explanations about how people misinterpreted things.
>>20549503I would like to see how he does it
>>20549495they have brass above them, they just don't meddle in the unit's internal workings. joint squadrons were mostly disbanded very early war because watching the pilots had a tendency to dote on the little girls and then die in horrible fireballs, and that isn't good for a teenage girl's psyche. i'd imagine for larger ops/cooperation with conventional forces they're slotted in wherever their unique talents would be needed the most
>>20549503Or he could just go on tofusaur.us where we put the rest of the fapfics.
So the count isNo sex - 2SEX - 14Capcha=iioese surveys
"How long have you assholes been out here?" you ask crossly. "Bout twenty minutes," Paddy replies. You realize he's got a Thompson slung over his shoulder. "We've been told to follow you everywhere, even to the shitter. Lest somebody else try to ventilate yer dome." "Nobody's talking yet," Reggie says, producing a pipe from inside his jacket, "but I like the Russians for it." "You do?" Minna says, curiosity overcoming Officers Umbrage. "Indeed, miss," Reggie replies. "The Russians are playing for great stakes, with an eye towards the post-war." "With the Martians hardly defeated!?" you marvel. "Are you serious?" Reggie nods. "That cocky bugger Stalin made arrangements with the Allies to divide up Germany post-war, even as Hitlers Panzers rolled towards Moscow." "I never heard of that.""Course not, ol chap. Quite secret." You squint at him. "And just how did a front-line fighter learn all this?"Reggie grins a shit-eating grin around his pipe. "My Uncle told me." Paddy fires a lidded-eye glare at Reginald, then shakes his head and walks away down the hall. "I'm hungry.""Me too," Minna agrees.
Just be glad that micro-cameras don't exist yet and they couldn't watch you and then post the whole thing up on youtube.
>>20549505We weren't expecting him to cop out of Minna's scene... that and some of us don't hang around /tg/ all the time to find out about the half-assed attempt to make /tg/ work safe (does this mean MSQ's finally getting nuked?)Does this mean we can't say aliens were killed but rather "sent back to their own planet" and Kurt didn't die but rather "in a really long coma"?>>20549530That would be a good idea for him to do.
>>20549543...Huh... That's not cool. I think we should try to do something to unfuck that particular mess, but I can't think of how we are going to do it.
>itt /tg/ transparently tries to get planefag to write porn
>>20549555AND THEN THEY FUCKEDMINNA TORE HIS CLOTHES OFF AND THREW HIM ON A MATTRESS AND RODE HIM LIKE A STALLION ALL NIGHT LONG, BOUNCING HIM ON THAT MATTRESS SO HARD HIS HIPS ARE STILL CREAKINGSHE FUCKED HIM RAW SHE FUCKED HIS FUCKING BRAINS OUTTHE END
>>20549543>BishlerJesus christ how horrifying
>>20549543>Kartoffelzeit!Damn, now I'm lusting for fried potatoes...
>I'm hungrybut we just HAD sex. Minna should finally be less crazy for a bit. Cue all the people wondering why the commander is so laid back all the sudden. And then Mio gets it and becomes furious that Minna got laid before she did, and tracks down Sean. RACE AGAINST TIME!
>>20549555Our PCs faint at 0hp, like Pokemon. Not die. Faint.
>>20549580liek dis if u crie errytiem
>>20549580I don't think she fucked his brains out, they still appear to be relatively in tact, and MC is certainly thinking clearer than he has occasionally in the past.
>>20549580OH GOD MY SIDES!!!!
>>20549580why am I laughing>>20549586it was already a race against time...now it's even more so>inb4 meeting sakamoto in the mess
>>20549580...why is there a mattress in the closet?
>>2054958010/10best work I've seen yet
>>20549580Planefag, I love you.
>>20549580So... they DID have sex?I don't understand.
planefag has done better>mfw im breaking the rules please dont report me oh god
If Manswers has taught me anything, it's that sex cures pms. Maybe she will be less bitchy from now on.
>>20549543>SW2: The Witch who Loved meJet Fighters!First Witch in Space!Invasion of Mars!Humanity Strikes back.Also, I now can't help but see this as Muv-Luv style political thriller with aliens, cept the Martians thank god, aren't like BETA.Still though, when SUPER is finished in universe, this world will be a fun and scary place.Thanks for the content, planefag!
>>20549580What, again, right in front of those two?Wow.
>>20549612>>20549612>>>/a/ is that way, shirou
>>20549606>not posting this oneI shiggy diggy doo-wop bopelstIrr small. No, captcha, they're anything but small
>>20549630I meant to post this, MC's ULTIMATE MAGICAL FORMMMMMM not an aliem infiltrator unit
>>20549578It was more getting him to fill in the missing part of the romantic arc. This isn't a children's story where the romance ends with the boy and girl holding hands.>>20549621Your courage will be remembered, even if the puritan mods wipe your post off the face of 4chan.
>>20549642I'm still not getting it.
>>20549654He looks fantastic for a 90-year-old man.
>>20549654oh god, that whole fucking picture
>>20549654>tattooOh god I lost it.
>>20549555>>20549580Wait MSQ has sex in it?
The density of this thread is reaching critical levels, we need to stop this before we develop a singularity
>>20549662It's very, VERY filled. It's leaking at the seams it's so filled. They will build monuments to how filled this is. It's more filled now than Minna's pussy was filled by MC's cock. And she was pretty damn well filled.NOW SHUT UP ABOUT IT
>>20549706As soon as Shirou was mentioned, density started approaching the mass of a neutron star. Singularity is imminent. Do not fight it.
>>20549706Why contain it?
>>20549756hah i've never seen that version of that pic
You arrive in the kitchen just behind Minna and Reggie to find Patton standing by the coffee machine, irritably watching fresh java drip into a cavernous coffeepot. He looks haggard, but not quite as bushed as yesterday at the award ceremony, Martian mindfuck be damned. Standing stiffly in his leather field jacket, he's as impeccably groomed as ever. "Fucking coffeepot," he grows, smouldering as hotly as his cigar. "Fucking women. Fucking LIMEYS." You espy Ian relaxing at the small table scarfing down a bagel. "Suff?" he greets you casually."What a coincidence," you murmur. You exchange glances with Minna, and she sidles towards Ian to collar him without a word. Which apparently leaves you to confer with Patton, using your wonderful rapport with the abrasive General. No time like the present. You edge towards Patton carefully, and clear your throat politely. "Good morning, General.""Abso-fucking-lutely nothing good about this morning," he snarls. Before you can ask what's up, he brandishes a folded slip of paper at you. "Because of this... missive."You accept the paper and unfold it. "Drop-pod crashes into Horsell common..?" "Guess what was in it," Patton growls darkly. "Gas?" you guess. "A Tripod?... Martians?" "WORSE," Patton says, snatching the paper out of your hands and crumpling it. "I CRUSH Martians. I EAT them alive. I trod over their graves and crush them beneath my bootheel!" he cries, his voice getting squeaky again. "BUT NOT THIS BITCH, BECAUSE SHE'S KISSING THE QUEENS RUDDY RED ASS AS WE SPEAK!" "Kinky," Ian opines from the other side of the room.
>>20549716I suppose you know about romance arcs better than me, mr. basement dweller?Not sure if we'll see the finale as the martian leader getting splattered Bionic Commando style would be NSFW and thus not allowed.
I'm confused. What was in the pod?
>>20549772We've got a martian defector?
>>20549772The fuck you say?
>>20549772>drop-pod >not MartiansHah! Looks like Ian's mom is up for another decoration.
>>20549772I feel this is referencing something, but i can't put my finger on what.
>>20549792>>20549793Ian's mom. Can't believe you are this retarded.
>>20549772OH GOD. DIPLOMATS
>>20549772About time the Ultramarines showed up to save the day
>>20549772That better not be a fucking Diplomat in that drop-pod.
>>20549810>YOUR SPIRITUAL LIEGE has joined the party!
>>20549806>implying most readers read more than just SWQBut thank you for the heads up.
>>20549806Not that you shithead.
War of the Worlds reference?
>>20549772Not sure where this is going, but it can't be good.
>>20549841dispell them before they can set up an embassy in the cityThat's what civ II taught me.
>>20549806Psh, sounds more like war of the worlds
>>20549825You could've still catched it being a reference.>>20549798
>>20549772>Ian just called his mom kinkyoh lawd
>>20549867It's a fact. She's taking little girls to have sex with her husband.
>>20549894whoops can't show that in a christian manga
Something you heard yesterday surfaces in your memory. "Uh - somebody that disagreed with your papers on strategy?""Disagreed?" Patton hisses. "She called me a fool before all the world! She called my ideas 'yankee tripe!' I could almost kiss that son-of-a-bitch Rommel for humiliating her and her mental-midget-maneuvering doctrine in Africa!" Patton is so angry you can almost see the heatwave distortion of thermals lifting his hat from his head. "And she's here," you guess.In the corner, Ian finishes devouring his bagel and lights up a cigarette, proffering one to Minna as they chat away amicably. Ian is getting that dangerously smooth look on his features that always precedes a massive rustling of someone else's jimmies, so you assume he's taken to the Sean-trolling plan like a duck to water."No shit," Patton fumes, flinging himself at the refrigerator and liberating a wrapped sammich. "No shit. Bitches to the left of me, bitches to the right of me, brass asses behind me, volley'd and thunder'd..." he mutters, storming out of the kitchen. You take a seat by Ian. "So, has Minna filled you in?"
>>20549919>Bitches to the left of me, bitches to the right of me, brass asses behind me, volley'd and thunder'd...I fucking love you fap angel
>>20549919"Has Minna filled you in?Cause I filled her in."
>>20549919*knock* *knock* "Erwin, you got sum bacon sammich in there?"
"Mmmhmm," he agrees. "Though I say we get Sakamoto in on it. Patton's a bit.. preoccupied at the moment." "He's just working off the stress of the past few weeks, I think," you guess. "Minna's right, we can approach him again in the afternoon."The dining-room floorboards creak, and you turn to the newcomer approaching the door. "Hello, Mile- oh, sorry," you say as a woman in a British tankers uniform, but too old to be Miles, enters the room. She's a little taller too, about 5'8'', auburn-haired, and her front-glacis armoring is thicker and more sloped then Miles by a good margin. She opens her mouth to greet you... and keeps opening it as her jaw goes slack and her eyes widen into flat pools of shock. After a single, long second, she about-faces with crisp military precision, spinning on one heel, and marches out of the room more woodenly then a toy soldier. Your head slowly pans towards the other two, a quizzical expression already upon your face, only to find Ian frozen in exactly the same position you saw him in last time. His motionless stance accentuated by the lazy wisp of cigarette smoke drifting above him, he radiates the immutable aura of fine ice sculpture. You're a past master at the art of giving no fucks, but in this most amazing of moments, you're about to acknowledge Ian as your superior when you notice one small imperfection. His cigarette is missing.>PERFORM THE HEIDI-LICK MANEUVER>Mouth to mouth...? It can't be helped! FOR BRO AND COUNTRY>GONDOR CALLS FOR AIDLetting Minna give him mouth-to-mouth isn't even an option. Your pride aside, she might suck his lungs out.
>>20550009Punch him in the diaphragm. That will surely work.
>GONDOR CALLS FOR AID
>>20550009Oh, just rabbitpunch him in the stomach, he'll cough it up.
Oh god i can't even vote
>>20550009>PERFORM THE HEIDI-LICK MANEUVER
>>20550009>GONDOR CALLS FOR AIDor these>>20550027>>20550031
>>20550046>>20550046>>20550042>>20550032>>20550031>>20550027We are /tg/, the kings of empathy.
>and her front-glacis armoring is thicker and more sloped then Miles by a good margin. hue>PERFORM THE HEIDI-LICK MANEUVER
>>20550009Sounds like a slut
>>20550057how would licking her help Ian? We'd have to find her first for one.
>>20550056Sorry, Minna get all of that. Now lets go beat the stuffing out of Ian
>>20550056Dude just inhaled his cigarette, now is not the time for empathy.
>>20550087I know.I was one of the votes for making him cough it up.
GONDOR CALLS FOR AID
>Dead tired, about to go to bed>Refresh /tg/ (which had been sitting open but inactive for the past several hours as I did other things) one last time>New installment of SWQWelp, guess I'm staying up just a little bit longer...
>>20550009>GONDOR CALLS FOR AIDThen punch him in the gut.
>>20550116>mfw I didn't even read that before postingOH well, still relevant.
Acting quickly, you dart forward, shove Ian out of his chair, and punch him in the stomach. "URRF" Ian cries, and the smoke abates as the cigarette falls a little further down his throat. "I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING!" you scream in alarm, drawing your fist back for another, harsher blow. Your imagination conjures an image of that 'test-your-strength' game where the harder the blow, the higher the metal weight flies, and a simultaneous image of the cigarette flying clear out of Ian's throat and you snatching it in midair. And then every nerve in your body lights up like a fucking firecracker.
>>20550166"NO FRENCHIE, NO!!!!!!!!"
>>20550166Shit it's Perrine.
>>20550166Ian gonna get raped
>>20550166why is her finger broken
>>20550166...Damnit Perrine, now is not the time.
>>20550166>I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM DOING>pic related
>>20550188Fingers are very flexible.
>>20550166My body was not ready
>>20550166Actually, depending on where we're hitting him, that's a legitimate strategy for a choking victim.The heimlich maneuver is pretty simple. Its about using his own chest muscles to force air outward via the throat. Punching a guy will do this.That said, we're probably about to regret something.
>>20550166We need more of Ian's mum
>>20550193He finger is at a 90 degree angle to her hand. That is not flexible, that is broken.
>>20550206Or it could be in motion, you can get weird stuff like that sometimes.
>>20550206Her tendons are overlength. I know someone that can move his fingers exactly like that.
You ride the Lightning Train to Painville - last stop, the floor. ALL ABOARD! As you twitch, insensible, on the tile, you see Perrine pulling Ian upright and shouting for Minna to slap his back. Reaching into his throat with her small hand and dainty fingers, she manages to fish the cigarette out and toss it over her shoulder. She's rubbing his shoulders and mumbling to him soothingly by the time you recover. You grope for your sidearm, fixing bloodshot eyes on Perrine with murderous intent. "Bitch... you... fucking... electrocuted me-""... you did?" Ian says, looking at Perrine. She flushes, reeling back, already crossing her arms defensively. "Good!" Ian says. "That stupid fuck punched me in the belly! What were you going to do next, asshole? Put a tourniquet on my neck?" Perrine blinks, completely nonplussed for a moment. Then, apparently deciding not to waste a perfectly good snooty bitch moment, she turns her superior affrontery onto you. "Serves you right," she says, putting her nose in the air. >response?
>>20550206I can make my finger do that.Granted I need to use my other hand to force it, but I can do it and it ain't broken.
Mai waifu has arrived!
>>20550227"Hope you enjoyed the finger play just there, it's all you're ever getting out of Fort Cox."
>>20550227"How eager are you to meet Ian's mother?"
>>20550227BAH. Everyone knows you only tourniquet the neck for head wounds.
>>20550227OH! TELL HER SOME BRITISH SLUT DID THIS TO IAN!
>>20550247I like the cut of your jib sir.
>>20550227Treat her kindly and apologize for tying her up and tossing her in a suit of armor earlier.And then do it again
>>20550227Put on airs and cite the times that this has totally worked.
>>20550247I really like the cut of your jib
>>20550227We find Ian's mother, and tell her how her errant son has not only joined the American Army Air Corps, not only is he consorting with a Strike Witch instead of a good and proper Tank Witch, but that the Witch in question is FRENCH.
>>20550227Shout for Ian's mom to come meet his girlfriend.
>>20550273His underage girlfriend.
>>20550227"You know what? You just saved my buddy's life. I'm gonna let that slide."Then watch as Ian realises his life debt.
>>20550278I like your style.
>>20550277His underage French girlfriend.
>>20550233I saved this image for a reason.
>>20550276Here's an improved version
>>20550242This is a good choice
>>20550247>>20550278>>20550294We need to combine these
>>20550300To be fair, we haven't realized that she was Ian's mom.
>>20550278Oh god, this.
>>20550278>>20550273Combo."You know what? You just saved my buddy's life. I'm gonna let that slide."Then watch as Ian realises his life debt.And *then* all his mom over.
>>20550312That makes it even better.
>>20550312From that reaction? Who else could it be?
>>20550278HA HA HA HA HA
>>20550327His crazy first love?
>>20550327A former lover?
>Perrine confronts Ians mom for his honor thinking its a past loverFuck it, Sean can wait
>>20550331>>20550332That makes calling her his mom all the sweeter.
>>20550247"Don't get huffy with me," you tell Perrine hotly. "Get huffy with the British Bitch who laid Ian low."Something mad and hateful flares to life in Perrine's eyes - a blood feud centuries old coursing through her French blood. The madness takes her, and you can all see her hair begin to frizz as static charge starts to build on her skin. From her belt she draws a long, fancy-looking rapier, thrusting it forward dramatically. "F-for you, Ian, I will bring this British sow to justice! I'll punish her for her misdeeds! I'll - I'll - I'll defend your honor!" Ian stares at her, his face twisted between several different emotions... and then he beings to laugh. He falls back on the floor and laughs so hard he begins wheezing for breath.Perrine's lips tremble, and tears crowd her eyes. "You saw what I did to that varlet!" she says, whipping her rapier-tip at you. "My family was fighting the English before GUNPOWDER was invented! It's in my blood, you - you -" This just makes Ian laugh even harder, tears trickling from his eyes. His legendary cool demeanor has utterly fled, blown away by gales of helpless laughter. Perrine's eyes flood with tears. She flings her rapier, clearly an expensive family heirloom, across the room in rage, though its sturdy pommel just bounces off the wall without damage. "W-wh-why do you hate me? Wh-why am I not good enough? Why?" Ian shakes his head weakly. "Mother...""What?" Perrine asks through her sorrow, cheeks quivering as she sniffles. "My mother. She was my mother."Perrine blinks. "Perrine, I'm fucking ENGLISH!" Perrine's face shatters.
>>20550345Oh god, this may be our greatest achievement ever.
>>20550332>>20550331I can no longer feel my sides.Especially when ian blurts out its his mum and perrine totally misunderstanding.
>>20550357>Acquire rapier>Place rapier in inventoryThis is now a traditional adventure game.
>>20550357This is going to be good.
>>20550357Goddamnit planefag you ruined our trolling opportunity.Oh well, she still saved his life.
>>20550364And *now* we can call in his mom.
>>20550380Another artifact to add to the list
>>20550380>acquire rapier>become rapiest
>>20550383I know this is probably some Japanese thing, but what exactly are they doing with those plants?
>>20550357oh god someone stop her before she commits sudoku
>>20550357>Perrine's face when
>>20550398>birch branches>Japanese thingThey're in a sauna. Tradition is to swat yourself with thim.
>>20550398what else will they use as dildos?
NEXT TIME ON STRIKE WITCHES: >BE IAN STRIKE WITCHES will resume on SUNDAY, SEPT. 9TH, same time (7-8sh EST) SAME PLACE. And we finally, FINALLY get to see things between Perrine and Ian worked out.And now I grab some sleep before my 5:30 AM shift, woohoo. Fucking gas stations.
>>20550423I must know what happens to my waifu...
>>20550423>running 2 internet quests while working at a gas stationI admire your dedication.
>>20550423>And we finally, FINALLY get to see things between Perrine and Ian worked out.Yeah sure.
>>20550467SWQ, AWiY and Noop.
>>20550455About two seconds ago, Ian finally realized that Perrine's not totally insane, just a tryhard. Trying WAY too hard to impress him.But can he smooth her nationalist jimmies, reduce her prideful snooty bitchery and tap that delicious blonde ass? TUNE IN NEXT TIME
>>20550460Explain.>>20550398It's a Finnish thing. "Vita!"
>>20550478Ian, as played by Ian? Sure.Ian, as played by /tg/? SureLY YOU JEST!
>>20550478Delicious blonde JAILBAIT ass, in case you forgot.
>>20550471>NoopWell that's sort of part of SWQ.
>>20550512Not for a war hero in the forties.
>>20550471>>20550503Sooo. What is it?
>>20550539A Wizard is You. Didn't we all hop this train months ago?
>>20550544No. Where is that train right now?
>>20550524Yes for a war hero in the forties. AoC in England is 16, which Perrine won't reach for another year.AoC is 15 in France, so if the find a way to hop the channel they can do it while the martians watch.
>>20550478Hey if he can beat us in NGaF he can do anything.
>>20550565Touhou Project. Be careful, they're a bunch of /jp/ rejects, and their IRC is even worse.It's where Planefag got sidetracked last night and why he ended Noop early. He was still arguing politics hours later
>>20550565There are no trains in Gensokyo.>>20550570>implying anyone will give a shit or be stupid enough to try to charge him
>>20550565Read this http://www.mediafire.com/?yevmoqkiqqttqd8
>>20550581Hey, we're not that bad. Just be sure to type well, we're kinda uptight about that.
Comrade Stalin must die
>>20550658assassination mission against robo stalin?
>>20550678All you have to do is pull the plug
>>20550596Thank you. The introduction sounds good.>327 pages.GOOD GOD! ... This might take a while.
>>20550643No, typing well is fine.Everything else about the place is horrible.
no writefagging tonight?
>>20550906They all quit, basically.
>>20550906Check tofusaur in like 10 minutes.
>>20550906Friday night, everyone's out partying and living it up...Nope. Couldn't say that with a straight face.
>>20550909No we didn't. Usually I only go once a week, but would anyone care for Demons 8?
>>20550935I would very much, if you got anything for us.
>>20550906>>20550945>mfw Maul doesn't get any readers because he posts in SuWQ threads
>>20550945Oh boy a reader! Gimme a couple minutes to break it up for easy posting.
>>20550945Well, I've got something, if you care for reading about shiphandling.
http://tofusaur.us/res/1475.html#1478Up.It's something different this time.
March 18th, 1943 07:00Terrace, British Columbia “So let me get this straight,” Rick took a sip of his coffee as Minnie jabbed her fork into a hearty pile of pancakes, “ that fancy tower is some sort of secret lab?”“Correct!” Minnie chomped down on a fair helping of her breakfast.“And whatever it is, is supposed to win the war.”“Yes!” Minnie sent her fork back into the fray.“And you thought the appropriate place to discuss this was a DINER?”“Darling, there's three other people in this building. If one of them looks like a spy to you, just give me the word. Besides, a witch needs her strength! Can't sparkle on an empty stomach, now can we?” Just as she began to seem annoyed, Minnie managed to seamlessly weave back into her usual cheer. Rick shook his head and took another sip. “Alright then. Why you, and how did you find out about it?”“The Prime Minister is a dear fr- an acquai- We talk a lot. Being close to the most famous and highest ranking witch in the country has its perks, you see. Not to toot my own horn, of course.” Minnie sat back and took a drink of her orange juice. “And dear William, not MY William, the Prime Minister William he said to me, he said 'Minnie I need you to go find something for me! It is a matter of national security!' and of course, I obliged. Couldn't leave the poor dear hanging, wouldn't be right.”“You just did it? No facts? I mean, aren't you sort of extremely busy all the time?” Rick was starting to question his position in life.“Huhu~. A witch has her secrets, darling.” Minnie wore the coldest smile Rick had ever seen. Something wasn't quite right in those twinkling blue eyes.
The two sat in an awkward silence for some time, Minnie smiling to herself the whole while, until someone walked into the diner. The stranger's head was covered in gauze, leaving only one eye peaking out from under it. Rick knew it could only be once person.“Ricky! Hey man!” Nathaniel Heyworth shouted from across the room, “could barely read the writing on that note, man. Isn't it a bit early to start getting girls.”Nathan hurried over to the odd pair's booth. “Aren't you gonna introduce me to the mi- muh- mih- MINNIE BISHOP?!” The young man's voice was practically a squeal at that point.“Oh yeah, uh, Minnie, Nathan Heyworth. Nathan, Minnie Bishop.”The blonde sprung up and took Nathan's hand, shaking strongly yet elegantly. “You must be the one with the pretty eyes. I should know, I made one them myself!”Nathan simply sputtered and gaped, eyes wide.“Say thank you, Nathan.” Rick calmly sipped at his coffee.“TH-THANK YOU, MA'AM!” Nathan shouted with all the social grace of a beaten piano.“Oh dear,” Minnie sat back down and turned to Rick, “I believe I've broken your friend.”Rick forcefully pulled Nathan into the seat beside him and shoved his mug into the younger man's hands. “Here. Sit and drink.”Nathan raised the mug to his lip shakily, nearly spilling it. “So you're a fan, I take it?” Minnie leaned over the table, holding her chin.“Y-yes, ma'am! Very much so! Your husband was a real inspiration! Bu-but this is real, right? You're really here?”“Still not convinced she isn't some new martian trick or a hallucination, myself.” Rick grumbled. He took the moment to wave down the lone waitress for another coffee.
“Now, now, dearie. Could a hallucination do this?” Minnie reached out and flicked both of the men in the forehead. “So then. I should be explaining our little venture to dear Nathan, yes? If you'd prefer not to listen to me repeat myself, Mabbsie-poo, that waitress has had her eye on you and your wings. Poor thing probably doesn't get much attention all the way out here. What's say we meet at my hotel room around two, hm? Don't worry about finding the place, it's the only one in town. I'll let them know you'll be coming.”“That so?” Rick gave the waitress a predatory grin and got up. “Nate, I'll be seeing you soon enough. Missus Bishop.”“Darling, call me Minnie.”“H-Hey, did you spike this coffee?” Nathan made a move to get up, but was shoved back down by both Rick and Minnie.“Could be. Gotta stay sane somehow!” Rick started walking toward the waitress, turning on his pilot swagger.“Don't have too much fun now, darling~” Minnie turned back to Nathan, that strange gleam returning to her eyes. “Now, where to begin...”
March 18th, 1943 08:30RCAF Station Comox, Vancouver Island The fire of guns and artillery sounded off dangerously close. The only things louder were the sirens blaring through the halls of Station Comox. Rose McNair stomped hastily through the halls, slamming her fist on doors to wake her subordinates. Whatever had held the martians back was gone and now they were on the doorstep of the 509th. “EVERYONE UP. NOW!” Rose shouted through the halls, great authority and urgency ringing through her voice. Several heads popped out of doorways, some still half-asleep others on full alert. “I want everyone in the hangar in five minutes with your bags! If you're late you run five laps around the airfield when we touch down! Move it!” Five minutes later, the six remaining members of the 509th Joint Fighter Wing were assembled in the hanger. Rose inspected each of them and took a step back. “As of oh-six-hundred the martians broke through a temporary resistance wall set up by the militia rangers. Now, they, along with the sixteenth brigade from Port Alberni will be covering our retreat. We'll be giving them air support until they reach the Alberni Highway, the island's primary defensive line. Everyone stay on me and we should be on the ground in no time. Understood?” The witches shouted the affirmative. “Good. Everyone to your strikers.”
Each of the witches took to the skies, one by one, until only Rose and Woody remained in the hangar. Woody shook with fear. Two of her squad-mates were already missing. One hand held her Bren tightly, the other clutched onto the bag's strap over her shoulder. This was the real thing, not some recon squad. They were really being invaded and the enemy was on their doorstep. She felt a hand fall lightly on her shoulder. “You'll be fine, kiddo.” Rose spoke softly, calmly. Woody gave a shallow nod. Rose smiled, giving off that trademark motherly air, and started glowing. Moments later she was off, and Woody was alone.Woody gulped and started concentrating. A pair of dark, round ears sprouted from her head along with a long, furry tail with a matching colour. Magic energy swirled around the striker unit, the machine whirred to life, and Woody dropped a few inches as the stand unlocked. She taxied, or as close as a striker can, over to the entrance and began gaining speed.The morning was overcast and occasional flashes lit up against the clouds accompanied by loud pops. The fight was getting closer. Woody sped down the runway, feeling the chill of wind through her hair. Slowly the began gaining altitude, inches at first, growing into feet. Ten. The runway started to shrink. Twenty. The other witches circled overhead. Thirty. And then came the crash, a hideous screech of metal and wood being torn. Something lumbered onto the airfield directly to Woody's right.The thing looked mechanical, most definitely, but it had a strange organic feel to it. A bulbous head or body sat on top of four slender limbs. Each limb had no joints, but instead acted almost like a metal tentacle. The thing stood at least ten feet tall and the oblong cockpit was eight feet in diameter at the longest. Woody stared in horror as the clumsy machine stumbled into the middle of the strip.
Rose stared in horror, taking a few moments to come to her senses, before shouting into the radio. “Woodward! Turn, god damn it!” She fumbled with the little brown box clipped to her waste and switched channels. “This is Wing Commander Rose McNair, something is on our airfield! Who the hell let this thing through?!”Woody started to pitch to the left, following Rose's orders along with her own instinct. Fortunately, she was already in the air. A sweeping maser beam shot into her line of sight and she raised a shield as she barrelled through it. The rest of the unit was already firing on it, but most of the shots bounced off of the machine's armour.The beam stopped. She stared at the ground. She had to be at least thirty, maybe forty, feet up, too high for it to do anything as long as she used a shield. Then her eyes widened as she stared at the beast. It crouched low, falling between and below its four slender limbs. And then in the blink of an eye, it happened. The walker hurled itself upward and shot into the air, latching one claw onto Woody's striker. “WOODY!” Rose shouted, her voice standing out among the shouts and gasps of the other girls. “Bong, get that thing off of her! Everyone else, keep its attention!”The witches were moving before the order even came. Woody fell rapidly, unable to sustain her altitude with the additional weight; the thing had to weigh several tons, being the size of a light tank. Both strikers whirred fruitlessly, trying to push her back into the air. Riley pulled up to the grabbed unit and took hold of as much of the claw as she could. The walker flailed a free arm and loosed maser blasts at the other witches, who continually harassed it.
“I-IT HURTS!” Woody screamed, tears starting to stream down her face. Riley could only pry on 'finger' off at a time, and the rest held on even tighter, crushing the small witches leg. “GET IT OFF ME!”Woody's gun fell limp against her side as she wailed, and her bag began slipping down the opposite shoulder. The machine's grip tightened. Rose hovered dangerously close to what passed for the thing's back end and began firing at point-blank range into the head. The other witches tried to follow suit when they could, and soon enough smoke began billowing from the walker's body. Riley grunted and pulled, finally prying the third finger free. The arm fell limp and Woody's momentum propelled her upwards, where Riley was quick to catch her. Rose left the other witches to the walker, which still defiantly swatted and fired at them, and took Woody from Riley.“Hey. Hey. Talk to me.” Rose held Woody tightly.“I-it hurts so m-much.” Woody's face dripped with tears and sweat. The striker in question was crumpled onto her leg, and blood trickled from the three holes where the claws took hold. In a panic, Woody began patting at her left side. “M-My bag! Where's my bag?!”
On the ground, the thing still fought against the witches despite its condition. Rose glanced at the ground and spotted Woody's bag. Or what was left of it. The contents were strewn across the airfield, and the bag itself appeared have been stepped on by the machine at some point. Papers, pictures and mementos blew in the wind and Woody stared in shock.“MY BAG!” The small witch desperately pulled against Rose's grasp, but the older witch held her back. “LET ME GO! MY STUFF!”“Woody! Calm down. You can't fly with one striker. Johanna, get down there and grab what you can. Riley,” Rose's voice dropped to a cold calm, “put that thing down.”In the distance, Johanna broke from combat and shot toward what was left of the bag, scooping up what she could into her arms. Riley let go of Woody's shoulder and cracked her knuckles.“Yes, ma'am.”
The small redhead took off toward the walker at a ridiculous speed, holding back her fist. Hurtling into the machine, she unleashed a magically enhanced punch, denting the body. The sad remains of the machine stumbled and wobbled before limping away on its three remaining legs. The witches began to follow it, but Rose motioned for them to stop and form up. The group reluctantly obeyed.“We're just going to let it go?” Jane grumbled at Rose's side. Looks from the others seemed to voice an agreement.“Look at you. All of you. Woody damn near lost a leg and you've almost drained yourselves in a couple minute's worth of combat.” Rose shook her head and bit her fingernail. “We aren't even going to be able to provide air support in this condition. We've got a half an hour's flight ahead of us. We need to get moving.”Seeing the rest of the girls slowly begin to accept the fact, Rose flew over to Riley and Woody, who were clinging onto each other. “How is she?” Rose asked, peering into Woody's drained face.“She's hurting, chief.” Riley mumbled. “That thing got her pretty bad. And those claw things were pretty sharp. She's probably got a few holes in her legs.”
Rose looked over the two witches. One of Riley's hands was swollen and her knuckles were split, no doubt the adrenaline was keeping her from noticing. Some of the other witches had torn uniforms and maser burns in places. Rose sighed. This was not a good sign for things to come.“Sixteenth, this is five-oh-nineth. We aren't going to be able to bring that air support. We've got several injured and others low on fuel.” Rose flipped off her radio and flew over to Johanna, who was coddling what little she could rescue. “What do you have?”“Not much, ma'am. Half of a teddy bear, some pictures, a bit of jewelry. That's about it.” Johanna stared dolefully at the sad bundle in her arms.“It'll have to do. Keep it safe.” Rose turned to the rest of the girls. “Alright, five-oh-nineth! Moving out!”
March 18th, 1943 12:00Somewhere on Vancouver Island “Man, I still can't believe this!” Scarlet shouted, barely hanging on to any vestige of caution.“Nothing I can do for you, boss. And keep your voice down. There's squids in them trees.” Ayaka grumbled.The two witches picked their way through the dense under-brush of Vancouver Island, Scarlet draped over Ayaka's shoulders. A battered, beaten sword sheath, now with sword, hung from the Japanese witch's hip, swinging back and forth with every step.“We search for an hour for you sword and find it, but my gun? Stuck in a tree!” Scarlet grumbled, actually managing to keep her voice down.“Hey, I offered to get it for you.”“And risk ANOTHER injury?” Scarlet rolled her eyes. “I'm the superior here, that means I need to be responsible. Man, this sucks.”“Gotta say, though, you're more cut out for it than I thought. At the very least you're doing better than I would.”Scarlet gave the other witch a sidelong glance and pulled her arm around into a light head-lock. “Yeah, right. Don't bullshit a bullshitter. I read your file after Johanna got on my case about it. Said you were 'an adept leader with excellent management skills'.”Ayaka chuckled to herself. “Yeah, yeah, I give. Still, I don't really think mentioning it once counts as 'getting on your case', boss.”“Oh come on! You weren't even there! You were with the American being the big goddamn heroes!”“Eyes of a hawk! Ears of an owl!” Ayaka squinted and brought her free hand up to cup her ear. Letting out a 'hoot hoot!' the Japanese witch nearly keeled over laughing.
“Yeah, funny, just for the love of God don't drop me!” Scarlet wailed, slight panic squeaking into her voice. This only got the other witch laughing harder. Scarlet shook her head and peered up through the trees and into the dark clouds hanging overhead. “Think we should find a place to stay. Looks like it's gonna rain soon.”“Eeeeeh?” Ayaka groaned, suddenly pulled out of her uproar. “We're in the middle of the woods! What are we supposed to do?”“Keep your eyes open for any logging roads. There's bound to be a few cabins out here that we can stay in. Most of the ones this far north should have been evacuated already.”“Jeez. I have to carry you around AND look out for a place to stay.” A smirk started to crawl across Ayaka's face. “Usually someone has to buy me a ring before getting that kind of treatment.”“You really want one that bad?” Scarlet spoke with a subtle teasing edge to her words. “I guess you are getting to be that age...”“Oh shut up!” Ayaka snarled. “I'm only twenty-one. That's like two years older than you.”
>>20550968Who doesn't care about ship handling? faggots and landlubbers, that's who
March 18th, 1943 17:00Los Angeles, California Beatrice Wagner drummed her fingers on the table and wore a frown that could kill a man at forty paces. “Somethin' on your mind, Buzz?” Samantha prodded.“Yeah! The Canteen is practically right outside!” The blonde witch shouted, utterly frustrated.“Not allowed off the plane. You know that.” Samantha returned.“Witch privileges!”“Superior officer. Besides, we're taking off in half an hour.”“Could be dancing with Sinatra right now,” Buzz grumbled, “but nope! Gotta go hang out with the lumberjacks! Just when you get out of the jungle they gotta stick you back into a new one.”“I thought Sinatra was overseas.” Reggie looked up from prodding at a plate of spaghetti in front of her.“It's the principle of the matter, damn it!”------------------And that's a wrap. As usual, comments, criticisms, etc.
Oh and the pastebin for anyone who wants it http://pastebin.com/u/GrizzlyniisanI have no drawfags, so have the picture I based Scarlet on.
>>20551078Alright then.Sorry about the delay, and be forewarned, it's a little short.
“All hands, secure from battle stations!” called the bosun's mate into the PA system some time later.“Fucking hell,” said Mackintosh as he took his helmet off and ran his hand through his hair. “That was like living through Pearl Harbor all over again.”“Aye sir, that's a good description for it,” said the quartermaster. “At the very least we had a much better anti-aircraft complement than last time.”“You can say that again,” agreed Captain Richmond. “I swear, the next time I'm stateside, I'm tracking down the naval architect that was responsible for this refit and buying him a three-course steak dinner.”That elicited a chuckle out of the bridge crew. As Captain Richmond turned to look out the bridge windows once more, he noticed the stack of planes and witches lining up to land back on Barin. “Oh, that reminds me,” he whispered. “We need to call the Barin tower and finalize docking preparations.”“On it sir,” the radioman as he adjusted his set. “Barin Tower, this is the USS California, Nan - Able - Fox – Tare, approaching from the southwest. We are inbound to dock at Barin #1 Wharf, and are requesting the location to meet the tugs and pilot boat.”“Be advised, California,” came the slightly delayed response. “Barin has no tugs or pilots. Proceed with caution.”
>>20551227The words stunned the bridge into silence. A quick look shared between Mackintosh and Captain Richmond confirmed that they were both on the same page. “You deal with that!” said the Captain as he threw his arms up in the air. “I'm through!”The radioman managed to get himself together immediately afterwords. “Please repeat that, Barin. Did you just saaaaaAAAYYY-” he said as Mackintosh shoved him backwards and yanked the headset off of him.“What do you mean, 'Barin has no tugs or pilots'?!” Mackintosh angrily demanded. “We have direct orders to dock here to rearm! Our ammunition is waiting here for us! Who the FUCK would order a battleship to dock at a base that doesn't have tugs or pilots?!”“Aww...listen to the Navy-man ask for pilots!” cut in a pilot orbiting above. “It's okay, there are plenty of us here to go around!”Mackintosh stared at the headset in silence for several seconds. While rising to this Army chuckle-fuck's challenge is what he wanted, he couldn't just let that slide. Not on the open channel. “Aww...thanks, Army!” he said, putting fake appreciation into his voice. “I'll be sure to tell the men that you'll leave the back door open for them!”“Why y-!”“GENTLEMEN! Who ordered the ship here is not importa-”“Well, you can tell whoever he is that he's an incompetent buffoon who doesn't have the faintest idea how to conduct naval operations!” Mackintosh paused to pinch the bridge of his nose before continuing. “Stand by on Channel 16 and we'll let you know when we're coming in. California out.”
>>20551245As Mackintosh proceeded to give a display of his mastery of the art of the Profane, one of the junior men on the bridge found the courage to speak up. “Um, considering how dangerous it is to take a ship in without tugs or pilots, why are we still going in?”“Because, Midshipman,” whispered Captain Richmond, “Our ammunition is waiting there. High Command, in their infinite wisdom, declined to send the underway replenishment ship to us and had it unload on the dock,” He sighed. “And if they don't have tugs or a pilot, they sure as hell don't have lighters.”He paced to the front of the bridge. After some seconds of thought, he spoke up again. “Commander Mackintosh.”“Yes, Captain?”“Stateside, they call you one of the best shiphandlers in the entire Navy. It's part of the reason I chose you to be my XO over any of the others I had available to choose from,” He turned around to face his Executive Officer. “If there's anyone in the Navy who can bring this ship in safely, it's you. And I expect you to do so. Is that understood?”Mackintosh was slightly taken aback by the Captain's praise, but he managed to recover himself. “Docking a 33,000 ton battleship on a concrete pier, with no tugs or pilot?” He grinned. “Please. I can do this in my sleep.”
>>20551254An hour later, Mackintosh wasn't so certain. “You have the deck, Mr. Mackintosh,” whispered Captain Richmond as he stepped back.“Aye, sir. Alright,” he announced as he clicked the PA system to life and swallowed his nerves. “This is going to take perfect precision and timing. All crews, be ready.” He cast his gaze over to the longshoremen he sent ahead, and they shot the green flare aloft that signaled their readiness. He noticed with some twinge that there was a small crowd standing back watching.“Alright,” he breathed to himself. “Let's dance the Jitterbug! Helm, Hard right rudder! Bow, let go port anchor!”The quartermaster vocalized his acknowledgment as the chain on the bow started to run out. After counting several seconds off to himself, he ordered “Helm, shift your rudder! Bow, put the brake on! Starboard engines, ahead full! Port engines, full astern!” A deathly screech came from the bow as the chain suddenly pulled taut. The ship began to turn to port in earnest. He waited some more, right until the ship was nearing the apex of its turn with a starboard list and bow squat, and then “Helm, shift your rudder again! Bow, haul up the port anchor! All engines, Full Stop!”Even on the bridge, the groan of the windlass as it tried to haul up the chain was clearly audible, but it did begin to slowly haul it up. As the seconds ticked past, the ship began to edge to port along with the anchor, but the rudder kept it in check. After what seemed like an hour, the bosun signaled from the bow that the anchor was aweigh.
>>20551269The ship was drifting slowly into the dock. Quickly making his way onto the bridge wing, Mackintosh gauged the distance to the pier. 100 feet and closing. It was all up to his line crews now. As the ship passed the 50 foot mark, he gave the order “Send your breast lines!” At once, the line crews on the bow and stern threw their heaving lines onto the dock. 40 feet. As the dock crews started pulling them up, the ones on the ship pushed the working lengths of the mooring line into the water. 30 feet. Pulling as hard as the could, they hauled the heavy water-logged line onto the dock t. 20 feet. 10. With a Herculean effort, they managed to get the eye onto the bollards on the dock just in time.“Get back! Get back get back get back!” Mackintosh practically shouted. The line crews didn't need to be told twice, as they ran back as far as they could from the line. With a *whump*, the ship impacted the dock, the rubber bumpers on the dock and the hydrodynamics of the water pressing back off the dock into the ship's hull slowing it down enough to avoid any damage. Even still, the impact was enough to send the ship drifting back out with the momentum still carried. However, they were waiting for that, as the lines sent over snapped taut before the ship could go too far.
>>20551284Mackintosh held his breath, waiting to hear the tell-tale CRACK of a line parting under stress. But as more seconds passed, he realized it wasn't going to come. With a “whew”, he got back to work. “Alright! Haul her in, and pass the springs and the bow/stern lines!” The crews did so, the powerful electric winches hauling the ship back close to the dock. After a minute, all the lines were passed. As he gave the order to to put the lines on the bits, a cheer went up from the dock and the deck.“Well done, Commander,” whispered Captain Richmond with a smile as he joined him on the bridge wing. “Well done. I could have really used you at Honda Point, but I'll settle for having you now,” He paused. “Say, I thought you didn't smoke.”“I kicked the habit, yes,” replied Mackintosh as he lit a cigarette. “But you've got to enjoy the afterglow, ya know?”“Heh,” Captain Richmond chuckled. “That I do, Commander. That I do.”
>>20551254Mackintosh is such a Gary Stu. And the Captain dude is apparently possessing serious MPD.
>>20551291And that's it for tonight, what little there is. Here's the pastebin.http://pastebin.com/vRrhYebG>>20551297Elaborate, please.
>>20551328Chewing out officers from another branch in the middle of a fight and everyone on the bridge is completely okay with it? Ripping the headset off of the actual comms officer and NOT being punished for it? Able to do his job perfectly despite missing an eye? Never does anything wrong? "they call you one of the best shiphandlers in the entire Navy"? (and in front of the entire bridge, some of whom were probably passed over for the position themselves?) A gnome but apparently so awesome that he can get everything done without using his ability?And the Captain. His behavior switches from subtle whispers with a junior officer (again in the middle of a battle) to giving his XO asspats and apparently commands the respect of the entire crew despite being so casual with his junior officers and openly admitting his XO is better at shit than he is?The entire idea that the senior command echelon of the US Navy is a secret cabal/brotherhood/whatever of male magic users who are somehow fully in control of their powers without being trained in them? And all that without any of the dozens of USN spotter/escort Witches even finding out or giving a shit if they do?
>>20551368Yeah I kinda agree with all of this. That's why I like that story where the witch is on the ground. No politics or crazy shit, just a dude and a witch trying to survive. When's that update anyways?
>>20551395Strikerless isn't dropped, but it's on the bottom of my write pile. Gotta do a HAPPY fic for panzer, then a fic for MGNQ, then a few other requests I accepted. Then I can update Strikerless. Let my predicament be a warning to all who would freely hand out their services.
>>20551368>>20551395Ouch. I might be shooting myself in the foot here, but on the off chance you read my stuff, how am I doing? The pastebin gets hits but no one ever responds so I've been wondering.
>>20551490Call me crazy, but where's the pastebin?
>>20551500Right here >>20551134
>>20551475you write for MGNQ as well. i <3 you a lot right now
>>20551368He was using his gnome ability. He's like a GPS; he always knows exactly where he is. So he can do shit like that because he knows the exact timing needed for it. And he got named XO for a reason that happened in late 1942/early 1943; he was essentially the surviving senior officer from the ship's old crew; everyone else is new blood.The reason the captain whispers is because he has a throat wound that he got at Honda Point; think Godfather from Generation Kill, or Captain H.V. Wiley of the USS West Virginia, who he is based on. And he deferred to Mackintosh because it was a dangerous situation that needed precision; Richmond isn't a gnome.As for the cabal, it's not all of the senior echelon who are magic users, it's still a small percentage of the navy. And for gnomish powers, it's essentially an innate mastery. Per PF, gnomes only need training to use overt magical powers.And for the spotters, who says that they don't know, or don't have a stake?
>>20551537However, I will agree that jumping several months forward wasn't that good a decision. I just wanted to give an explanation of why the ship was near Barin.