>>20228701
I'm listening...

>>20228701
this wonder looks like it was made by an ork "enlightened" by an angry marine... amazing

>>20228978
I'll just wait until an "official" Boris thread gets going. No point in posting here if nobody involved is on.

I was involved, been there since the first Blue thread. What's cookin'?

"I AM DAKKA" that's a beautiful sentiment

We decided unless someone came up with a good chunk of write faggotry we woud leave it for a few days so people could flesh things out and see what happened.

Didn't want to run it into the ground by trying to force it

File: 1344400243943.jpg-(182 KB, 799x542, 1327005887433.jpg)

Continue.
This is what we wanted.
Im looking forward to a big juicy piece of text.

File: 1344400330151.jpg-(18 KB, 300x280, 1344181360080.jpg)

>>20229604
>big and juicy

So did you guys hear someone drew the "funstick"?

>>20229623
Dont bring that shit in here.

I've been admiring the scraploota story from afar, and I may not play any 40k but I fuggin love orkz.
I want to contribute with writefaggotry, because I'm a pretty solid writer, but I can't come up with anything..
>feelsbadman

>>20229669
Iknowthatfeel

>>20229669
A Radical Ordo Xenos inquisitor attempts to have the scraplootas lead a WAAAGH into the webway, via one of those man portable webways the DH have, so they can mess up Commoragh. Go write now

Not OP but I got some writefaggotry to contribute.
Too much of a hassle to post chunk by chunk, so here's a pastebin
http://pastebin.com/dcRvRKQV

Tell me how you like it!

File: 1344401130615.jpg-(93 KB, 600x1390, 1288217030917.jpg)

>>20229707
Why do you hate Boris?

>>20229762
That's a good question, and not one I can really answer.

>>20229833
Nevermind, I figured it out.
The funstikk.
Had nobody crossed that line, perhaps I would not have felt the need to take the time out of my lackluster life (currently unemployed, have nothing to do but paint orks all day) to write what boils down to tortureporn.

Rustboyz is the name of my ork tribe, btw. I'm awful.

File: 1344401984460.jpg-(449 KB, 577x904, 1344020319756.jpg)

Still waiting for that big'n'juicy piece of text...

>>20229896
Mah bruva, we all hate that foul heretical contraption.
It's only the heretics that enforce it.

>>20229707
Terrible, for one the defining part of the scraplootas is that they have Boris to support them to make up for their massive lack of boyz.

>>20229914
Only fags and boyz that came in late don't like Boris.

Kindly GTFO

WE WERE PROMISED!

>>20229931
Read more carefully.
Then read his post.
Consolidate.

>>20229945
Writefaggotry was delivered.

>>20229951
Ah quoted the wrong post
Yes all of us hate the fun stikk so fuck that thing.
And the bad write faggotry of Boris losing, he never loses. Sometimes he just goes away to find more dakka before winning

>>20229971
Well then, pretend that the Rustboyz did surrender because they were so moved by the Scraploota's fighting spirit. Or that Boris did fire his last gun successfully, killing Kaptin Krumble, and then the Scraplootas incorporated the Scrapkrusha into Boris.

I'm brainstorming ideas for writefaggin
>the boyz get hired to deal with some nids
>the boyz get hired to take out a weaker tombworld considering their unmatched prowess since having acquired Boris The Titan, the Farseer arranged this indirectly to test tha boyz
>Grey Knights are dispatched to fuck up the boyz because they are too much of a threat, the boyz win and get their hands on quite alot of dakka
>writefaggotry about political scandal within the bureacracy

Anyone else have any ideas? Anything here you want me to write about in particular?

I had some ideas for the stormboy nob and the biker nob as well, last thread I posted them just as it fell off the bottom so let me repost it

Basic ideas I had for the biker and stormboy nob is they compete constantly because they both think their way is faster and better for krumpin. They fight, bet and compete in everything to prove that their way makes you more orky

The stormboy nob has a helmet that blue made him from a crisis suit with lots of gubbinz stuck on so that when he lands on his head it doesn't kill him and it makes him da flyiest

The biker nob has a Pathfinder visor that he wears also made by blue which he says makes him go fasta because it makes everything he can see red/orange

I figured having them in a rivalry for who can go fasta sounded decent enough

>>20230009
Hmm...
I'd like to have some more about Zizzbitz.
We've got nothin on the guy.

>>20230040
We have a couple of bits but nothing that is directly zizzbitz come to think of it.

Closest we have to a story following him is the introduction of blue story someone wrote

>>20230040

That's blues mentor numbah one protector right? As well as the top mekboy

>>20230053
That he is

He is also obsessed with electricity and choppy bits to the point where he made an electro chain kutlass out of orange tau metals cause they were sparky

>>20230053
Yeah.

File: 1344402958698.jpg-(54 KB, 424x599, 424px-Blue2.jpg)

>>20230053
That's him.

>>20230077
>>20230076

K
gimme a few, I'll put something together, no prons or funstikks OR BORIS GETTING BEAT BY 'RUSTBOYZ' CUZ I AM A GOOD WRITEFAGGOT

Sorry other guy, your writing style wasn't so bad, but WHY have BORIS lose, ever??

>>20230094
Because I was bored, and I mostly wanted to type

>"Oi'm gonna give ya wun moar warnin'", a beleaguered voice called from the Imperator's speakers, "Yew can haz surrender nao… or I'z gonna get sewious! I'z haz da lucky bloo grot wiv meh, yew cannot win! Oi am becum deff, de… des… d… KRUMPER OF WORLDZ!"

>>20230109
Maybe I should have placed more emphasis on the faggotry aspect of writefaggotry.

>>20230094

It had been a very productive day for the scraplootas. They were in between jobs, after having just finished a raid on a small nid breeding world that had been very recently colonized. Some pointy head wanted the rocks or some other inane thing the boyz didn't care to remember. A handful of the smaller ones had been caught, and Fizzgutz was very busy smacking them around with duh buk, and explaining to the creatures that they must 'repaint' before Gork & Mork or be brutalized in a fashion so cunning that their hive mother would feel it. While he was doing this, the chained beasts were getting alot of attention from Blue, who was busy putting some gubbins and bitz together on their heads and backs to make em more orky and more usable. The bigger of the 4 captives was getting a fine shoota hoisted onto its back by some grots and another was having a few choppas attached to its face. Zizzbitz couldn't be more proud, but he had work of his own to do. There was a particular project he had been working on in secret for some time now, one that was about ready to be finished after he got his hands on some new shiny gubbins that he needed from the last humie battle.

>>20230303

>cont'd
He lumbered past, and gave blue a pat on the head and a wink, telling her to keep up the good work and make sure the bugs were carrying all the dakka their legs could lift. She beamed at her mentor and nodded vigorously and began work again twice as enthused. Zizzbitz entered his private workshop tent and hoisted his creation onto the table. It was half of an engine from some humie troop carrier, and had some of those fuel tanks from the pointy heads, and plenty of good old fashioned orky gubbins with three rockets recklessly attached to the back. Zizzbitz got to work, using a crate of bitz he'd had blue put together yesterday he began tinkering like a madman.
>more to come

>>20230303
I cant stop thinking about Fizzgutz smacking nids' with the book.

>>20230326

This was going to be his magnum opus, and he just knew it. He was going to do as few orkz had done before. He slaved away tirelessly for 3 days, chopping up shootas, choppas, gubbins, bitz, and fitting them all in over and over. He added two handles that came around the side and fit into his hands, both with two buttons each. His right hand had a proppa shoota, and his left hand had choppa launcha like blue had helped him learn to make, and it was being fitted more and more, squig leather buckles and belts and straps a plenty attached. Last but not least of course, as much of it was painted red as possible. Zizzbitz fell asleep at his work desk, and when he awoke, he had some red paint on his face a bit from the way he slept, but the paint had dried on his machine.
It was time.
He strapped it onto his back, and took the controls in his hands, and walked from the tent proudly exclaiming that he was finally done with the flydakka. He ran over to where blue was putting the finishing touches on one of the nids, a basket on the back that would allow her to ride on it around the camp or carry materials, complete with a remote control.
>more to come shortly

>>20230423

She barely noticed him before he scooped her up, and shouted gruffly in her ear 'Blue ya gonna think this is right proppa in just a minute, and you gonna know dis is why Im da top mekboy roun here' He hastily put an extra couple of strap around her torso and crossed his arms to have his right hand in the left control and right hand in the other, to give him a tight grip of blue to his chest.
He pressed ignition and took off.
Zizzbitz was flying, and holding blue, zipping around the campsite as the grots and orkz gazed in awe. he zoomed up and around Boris, eventually landing on one of the towers on his back, and then taking off again laughing like a maniac. Blue was thrilled, and Zizzbitz was awarded much merit as 'duh fastest ork in duh skyz' by the tribe.
It was a very productive day for the scraplootas.

>>20230521

>done
if you guys like it, Zizzbitz now has a jetpack and the scraplootas have some nids.

>>20230533
....
Grots of the Octagonal table?
They ride nids....

>>20230564

I love it. I also think one of the nids should be moved into boris and an arena built for entertainment where grots who are unfavorable in the eyes of the higher ups are fed to the nid gladiator style, only the grots don't get to fight back, they're chained up. When the nid isn't eating grots, there are regular grot gladiator battles, this is an opportunity for a new character too - an undefeated grot gladiator.

>>20230533
Awesome work kimbo

>>20230649

>tfw they looted nids

and shucks, thanks anon.
Now we just need a drawfaggot to put the flydakka to paper, and someone to update the wiki

>>20230629
I like the idea of grots riding nids.
I like the idea of the grot/nid arena.
The arena should be uptop for entertainment for both grots and boyz.

>>20230684
I can probably update the wiki.
YET! Do i put it in Scraplootas? Or Boris?
Or does it need a new category?
Cuz I dont know how to make a new category.

…wow…

Maybe the funstikk was a good thing. Not sure I like the tone of this thread.

>>20230717
Probably in the scraplootas.
Ignore the writeFAGGOTRY from butthurt anon

File: 1344406294721.png-(211 KB, 532x300, GETOUT.png)

>>20230773

>>20230795
lol

>>20230821
I will not have a promising group of orks sullied by people that are irked by simple fapfiction. The posters were practically begging for it.

>>20230795

The scraplootas page has a section for general info (the obtainment of nids) and a section for zizzbitz and the bureaucracy both, to update them. Plus, you can add a secton for the knights of the octagonal table, and I can try fleshing them out as a group so that there is more to put down.

Right, i've got the story ready to go on the wiki, I'm just going to read through it and fix whatever small tidbits and typos I can find.

>>20230866
That would be cool.

>>20230897
Took off my name as I went to post in another thread.

>>20230855
It was pretty much one guy, but whatever.

>>20230855
I sullied nothing.

>inner turmoil...should I be the one to post the funstikk?

>>20230899

Derknitt sure had his work cut out for him. All over titanopolis all sorts of weird things happened all the time and the puny little grots could hardly handle anything themselves. Derknitt was tired. Derknitt was angry. He was too busy keeping things proppa orky to deal with the blue git, who had been garnering more of his hatred by the day as of late. He needed time to plan, to come up with a way to prove she had to go or just get rid of her. But he had no time. All his time had to be devoted to the all too important job of keeping the titan proppa orky. With a sigh and a growl, he rolled out of his hammock, picked up his choppas and headed out to meet with the grotocracy's bigwigs to be briefed on the current state of affairs throughout boris.
>just trust me, more to come

>>20230912
Ah yes, the namefag that was so vocally against the fapfic...I consider you to be one of those that encouraged its creation. You should have known your protests would have the opposite effect. And I say you /did/ know. For shame.

>>20230956

Derknitt approached the door into the council chamber, he stood up straight, breathed deeply, and walked in. The rundown was the usual, and Derknitt reluctantly committed todays duties to memory, more or less. Another weirdgrot has exploded into a daemon of some sort, some of the folks in the left leg were having hallucinations of some corn man or something, and weird noises were coming from the right shoulder a day ago and a couple of grots were missing. Derknitt was particularly pissed at having to travel between locations so far apart, and so he turned to go as he needed to be on his way and the council moved on to their next order of business. Just as he reached the threshold of the door, one of the more reserved members of the group eloquently proposed the institution of the arena for entertainment featuring live feastings from the new tyranid captive. Derknitt froze in his footsteps. He was hit by inspiration. A brilliant idea formed. After his pause, he set off twice as quickly for the most important mission of some time.
>cont'd

>>20230968
And what's wrong with fapfics?

What are you guys? Prudes or something? You don't add a blueberry into something and not expect people to demand fap content.

That's common sense, you numbskulls!

>>20231045

Within a matter of hours, Derknitt had gathered 8 of his most trusted grot underlings and brought them before the council. He knew that what he sought would require their cooperation, yet he still took a rather commanding tone, one of righteousness and unwavering demand. He spoke to them of using these grots as knights for Mork, to solve the problems throughout the titan that kept him so busy, his mission needed crusaders. After much debate, it was agreed, and 8 of the 20 some odd nids that had been looted were brought unto the titan to be used as steeds for these knights. The gubbins on their head keeping them perfectly complacent unless commanded to attack. These knights were to meet around an 8 sided table to discuss plans and tactics for patrols to solve the issues of titanopolis, and to regale one another with the tales of their bravery. And so was born the noble chapter of crusaders for mork, the knights of the octaganal table. And so also was Derknitt delivered from much of his anguish, and much of his time freed. He still patrolled the titan, keeping things orky as only a true ork can, but now he could rest a bit easier, and spend a bit more time figuring out how to topple the blue grot.

File: 1344407890561.jpg-(260 KB, 539x1776, They_can_pop_up_anywhere_(...).jpg)

Updated the wiki.
I'll be back later, will change the wiki back if needed for some reason.

>>20231115

>done again
Now Derknitt has put together an order of nid riding grot knights to help protect titanopolis.
Thoughts? Is this one a keeper?

>>20231126
Don't really know how effective they would be since they are gretchin but a cool idea.

I suppose they refill their ranks often since grots have a quite high mortality rate and derknitt doesn't notice the changes?

>>20231269

Sounds about right to me. It's recognized by the higher ups, and supervised by Derknitt. the real goal is to just keep things from getting too chaotic rather than perfectly orky. Derknitt was feelin overwhelmed so he instituted crusaders for his cause, templars of orkyness.

Boss boss!
We'ze got dem fancy spoila boxes now
now we really iz ded sneaky!

OOH! We can link the Grot Arena Champion idea with the Knights of the Oct- Octa- Table Eight! This Arena Champion was selected by the council to replace one of the Knights of Table Eight (who died during an unfortunate defenestration-based accident). Since he's ded killy (and had Snekkit's luck relating to death-defying antics) he became a regular to the Knights of Table Eight.
Why the Knights of Table Eight? Because the council, due to budgets, only got the Knights a spare table in the backroom of a restaurant/the casino.
Whaddya guys think?

>>20233338
Nah they have a looted table which was table 8 from one of the restaurants.

They have a room that is barely large enough for them to fit the table in so they mostly sit on the table itself.

I like the idea of the arena being the replacement criteria since grots do die a lot but I think that should be part of the knights, they are forever changing because they manage to get krumped some way or another

>>20234466
Would anyone WANT to be on the table?

>>20234585
Well for grots it is a big table so they have fungus beer, squig pies etc on there while they are in there talking about what are they meant to be doing anyway

>>20234631
In the other sense, since they'd have a higher rate of gettin' krumped.

>>20234690
True but they get more leeway and a higher standing in society which means while they are just as likely to be krumped they get to lord it over the other grots

Im back.
Im currently raging at Blizzard for being a bunch of faggots for locking my account due to ''HURR SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY''

And not a single fuck was given that day.

>>20235703
I was busy shootin gitz
Blizzard suck massive cocks anyway, you locked from world of Warcrack or doucheablo 3?

>>20235853
I was locked out of WoW, yet it's my Mom's account that was locked.
Gonna switch the email since the one she uses is pretty much the hooker on the corner next to a crackhouse.

>>20235881
Fair enough.
I quit that ages back because I said cata was going to ruin it.

I had some thoughts about fleshing out the nobs for the bikers and stormboyz but no one really seemed interested in working on them so we got into the knights of the octagonal table

>>20236055
Well, i'd like some more about the nobs.
Just puttin' it out there.

>>20236055
I am finishing up a comic so I need more draw fuel. Lemme know if there is anything we'd like to see drawn.

>>20236093
Well I had this post here>>20230036
I figure the stormboy nob ( stikkmeat I think he ended up being named ) could have some sort of flash weapon and act like a pirate since he goes on boarding actions, possibly one of Urtylug's finest swashkrumpin students who incorporates his jet pack into the style

The biker boss brews his own fightin juice for his bike to run on which he also drinks because he thinks it would make him go faster since it works on his bike

>>20236165
Well, could ya draw up one of the Knights?
When i'm thinking Grotocracy Knights, im thinking: Lances with chain-somethings on the end.
Since my imagination died with my innocence I cant think of much else, except for some gothic armor.. which isnt really orky.
Orkified gothic armored grots?

>>20236221
Grots with fancy helmets they looted from some umies.
They have feathers and all in them and they use chainswords like lances because they are too big for them to use normally

>>20236221
Just realized this goes against the whole 'Reference and parody' thing we talked about a few threads ago.

>>20236221
>>20236240
Uh....I havent been reading a lot on here. How do Biker Ork Knight fit in?

>>20236274
There is a group of grots who were chosen by derknitt to help him out with his duties in keeping things orky

They ride tyranids that the scraplootas looted ( don't ask me how ) and are replaced quite often because they have a high mortality rate like any gretchin.

The bikers come from Boris's ability to poop warbikes and it was decided we would need a no for them

>>20236274
See >>20230564
This a bit dodgey though imo.

ohai gaiz
I'm back.
What are we discussing now?

>>20236303
Grots riding looted nids.

Neat, another one of these.

I'm glad these have kept going, it'd have been a shame to have had it all die off after that first bit of creativity.

Tripfags and namefags, please fuck off.

These threads became good because they were a bunch of anonymous posters coming together with animation. They WEREN'T trip/namefag "LOOK AT ME!" circlejerks.

Reposting for posterity.

The Rustboyz cheered as the gut buster's enormous projectile ripped through the Hellstorm Cannon of the puny humie Titan. The warm glow of the resulting explosion fell across the Scrapkrusha's huge ork Kaptin.

"Yuh, yuh! Looks like we got it, boyz! Now let's blast it with da soopagunz!" Kaptin Krumble shouted down his speaking tube. "You gits wanna dig through the scraps an' find some real flash, duncha!?"

Krumble grinned at the hoopin' and hollerin' of his krew and burst out laughing as he heard the thundering 'dakka' of the soopaguns. The boys had gotten a little excited and began firing before the guns were even locked on to the enemy. Half of the massive shells riddled the forest with craters, the other half ripped through the enemy Titan's torso.

The Titan unleashed a retaliatory volley from it's own dakka array, but their efforts were for naught. Several of the giant guns strapped to the cathedrals slid off. Krumble could see fires spreading through the insides of his foe as hundreds of screaming gretchin clambered about trying to put them out.

>>20236343

nigga I wrote that shit

>>20236403
"Oi'm gonna give ya wun moar warnin'", a beleaguered voice called from the Imperator's speakers, "Yew can haz surrender nao… or I'z gonna get sewious! I'z haz da lucky bloo grot wiv meh, yew cannot win! Oi am becum deff, de… des… d… KRUMPER OF WORLDZ!"

Krumble gave the order to cease firing. He walked over to the viewing window of his Gargant and looked across at the great big metal humie. Grots and boys alike were still trying to put out the raging fires, but they were making no headway.

His first mate gulped.

"Wot we doin', Kaptin? Are we actually surrenderin'? We got this won!"

The Kaptin took a puff of his cigar and brought it away from his mouth, holding it at his side.

"Deffgut, you think that git can see me?"

"Yea, I figure he probably can. Why, Kaptin?

>>20236408
Kaptin Krumble said nothing. He merely grabbed the speaking tube, and bellowed "Hit it again. That scrapheap is ours!"

As the gut buster unleashed it's devastating attack, Krumble, the Rust Reaver, the Kaptin who made a dozen Gargants from the scrap of Imperial Titans, held his middle digit against the window.

In the moment before the gut buster cannon hit Boris square in the bridge, the Kaptin swore he saw the mechanical monsters expression change to anguish. The Imperator couldn't take it anymore. As explosion after explosion riddled it's body as engines failed and ammunition finally burst under the extreme temperatures, it crashed to it's knees. The wretched thing held there, supported only by it's choppy arm and two burning knees, one turret feebly cranking towards the Scrapkrusha. As the gun lined up with Kaptin Krumble, time seemed to stop.

Krumble put his cigar back into his mouth, and glared. They didn't have the guts or the grit to pull it off. But despite all his confidence, he could feel his heart racing in his chest. A voice inside of him was screaming "do it! Do it!", and another begged for him to dive into cover.

Whether it was from fear or adrenaline, Krumble stood perfectly still, staring down the barrel of the titan's last chance of evening the score. Though it felt like hours had passed, he knew it had only been a moment.

The gigantic hammer drew back.

>>20236406
Yeah, and you asked what we were talking about.

>>20236418
The Kaptin started chewing his cigar.

The hammer swung forward, striking the pin, and the entire gun exploded, taking the entire left cathedral spire with it. The rest of the Titan soon followed, becoming nothing more than a smoldering pile of slag and bits of flaming scrap raining down upon the now forever-scarred forest the battle had raged in.

"That, Deffgut, is why we build Gargants. You can't make a good squig-pie if you got bad squigs," he guffawed, "and I never 'eard of a humie makin' good squigs." He walked over and put his klaw on Deffgut's shoulder, guiding him towards the bridge's exit.

"Now how's about we make you your own Gargant?"

>>20236380

>Tells namefags to go away because this is ANONMUS PRJECT ONLY
>namefags contribute more than anon in this thread
>lol

I think the knights are going too far. Derknit was iffy enough on his own.

>>20236418
>>20236408
>>20236403
How about no

Even the author said it was massive faggotry on his part just because someone wrote the fun stikk part.

I think it really should just be left with that rather sad part of our history

>>20236403
>>20236418
>>20236408

Stop it you motherfucker.
Stop it right now.

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>>20236426
That post is exactly what I fucking mean. EXACTLY what I mean.

"Look guys, look at me, I've contributed so much! I'm the greatest! Yay me!"

I made the post that started the Blue thing off. I made a bunch of threads. I made the wiki pages. I did a bunch of writefagging and shit. But I'm not going to give myself a name, and I'm not going to claim to have done anything more than any other anon (barring this post).

Because this isn't a popularity contest. And it's not a circlejerk. But it will be if it becomes "namefags talking to each other: the thread".

Rant over. But still, stop that shit.

File: 1344450577799.jpg-(18 KB, 244x320, 1288220242183.jpg)

Goodnight sweet prince.
>>20236425

>>20236403
>>20236408
>>20236418
>>20236425
That writefag actually wrote his ork klan beating the scraplootas because he disliked them.

Which is why that should just be ignored and not mentioned again because it was the product of butthurt

>>20236430
>>funstikk
>sad
Some gits just can't handle the dakka.

>gladiator writefaggan'

The smell of blood hung thick in the air of the gutworks. Durk sat before the gate cross legged, prepared to go out and make his appearance and fight for more glory, and more teef. Since the council had put together the arena Durk knew it was for him. He wasn't like the other Gretchin. He had instincts, cunning, brutality. He was called 'the smallest ork in duh tribe' by some scraplootas. He sat calmly and breathed deep, the anticipation felt like static to the other combatants but to him, it was a light rain.
>cont'd

>>20236461
That writefag actually wrote the scraplootas winning because he liked them.

Which is why that should just be ignored and not mentioned again because it was the product of butthurt.

>it goes both ways, Anon.

>>20236452

You're clearly very creative, which is good, why waste time complaining when you could continue to contribute? I'm not trying to turn this into a circlejerk... I've had this name for a long time now, and I just wanted to help put together the scraplootas story. I'm not asking for credit. Calm down, slugger. No need to be hostile.

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>>20236452
If you really want it so badly to not be a circlejerk, i'll follow your orders, my grace.
>>20236461
He wrote it because 'Winter' kept on taunting most people to write fapfics, and as I stood against it like a douchebag, only made it worse.
But it doesn't really matter anymore.

>>20236495
Except in this case it is trying to get rid of something because he didn't like it with childish tactics.

Not everything posted in these threads becomes canon and really if that was added it would not only invalidate the idea of the scraplootas but would be a very bad day for anyone who actually enjoys making OC since it sets the standard for "I don't like this so my super special group who is so much better beats them" faggotry that we already hate ward fr

>>20236487

The sirens whirred, the gates went up, the crowd roared and snickered. Durk arose and tread carefully unto the center of the complex, raising his twin choppas in the air. They were simple, buzzsaws on the end of short sticks. But he liked them, he'd always liked them. The second sirens began to wail, the fight had begun, the gladiators took their ready stances and the clash began.
There were 6 of them in the ring, and the fight was conducted as an every man for himself battle. Durk licked his cracked lips and turned on his choppas.
He spun gracefully around the battlefield, dodging, ducking, weaving, rolling, and parrying in an arc through his foes. Lopping off a head, then whizzing through an arm, blocking a hammer and buzzing right through a couple of legs. They were fodder to him. None could even land a blow on the graceful green killing machine. Within a matter of minutes, everyone in the ring was in pieces save for Durk. Another match one. Again now, he raised his choppas into the air. The crowd screamed in approval. Durk turned away now, walking as calmly from the fray as he had entered it to collect his reward of teef in the gutworks.
>done, this one is short

>>20236552
>implying the author wasn't a chill bro about
>implying the author probably wasn't stoned out of his mind the entire time he was involved here
>implying not stoned people double post as much as he did

I'm pretty sure nothing malicious was intended. He was way too chill about it. If there was any maliciousness, the weed made him forget about it.

>>20236584
Except he specifically mentioned "writing torture porn because of the funstikk"

He did it because he was asspained and he admitted it, his demeanor in thread did nothing to change that fact.

File: 1344451544490.jpg-(39 KB, 800x510, ork dildo.jpg)

We funstikk now.

>>20236116
What comic you making anyways?

>>20236616
Whatever.

>>20236620
Nothing completely lore scraplootas related, just an ork funny.

>>20236595
His admitted asspain does nothing to lessen your own, apparently.

>>20236644
Me rikey...

File: 1344451904277.png-(199 KB, 488x652, Blue5.png)

>>20236616

>>20236645
Not in the slightest.
I just dislike people who decide that they don't like something so they want to try and ruin it for the people who do

File: 1344452189841.jpg-(178 KB, 761x956, gorken_morkann.jpg)

Imma go play some TF2 again, that whole recovering 'o account, shit really took a toll on me.
Be back in a bit.

File: 1344452404356.jpg-(19 KB, 266x279, feelsbadman.jpg)

>>20236705
Author here. The story I posted took place in the split-universe where the funn stikk existed.
In the real Boris universe, one of these things >>20230001 happened.

>mfw people think I wield the power to single-handedly ruin weeks of Anon's hard work
>mfw with great power comes great responsibility
>mfw I'll never learn true responsibility

It cant just be me.
This thread has a very emo-sphere.

>>20236763
>in the split universe where the funstikk existed
…you people are insufferable…

>>20236835
>''You people''
>One person

Does anyone else have a character they'd like more writefaggotry for? I'm stormed in (really bad fucking storm) at a starbucks and I have time to kill.

Why the hell not have the Scraplootas lose Boris? They'd go on a quest to replace him with another humie titan.

>>20236867
I was referring to anyone that had the provebial funstikk up their asses when it came to the funstikk.

>>20236883
It's nice, you should try it too.
Well, maybe a version that does not kill you.

>>20236881
Because a rather major part of the scraplootas working is them having Boris because aside from being a Titan he is a good character.

Having said that I would like to see him get nicked for a bit and they have to track him down because Urtylug's mug collection was left in his quarters

File: 1344453369233.jpg-(32 KB, 200x281, 200px-Imperator_Titan.jpg)

>>20236881
One does not simply lose an Imperator FUGGIN' Titan.

>>20236903
If a frail thing like a Tau can take it, then so can he/she.

File: 1344453899169.png-(65 KB, 508x823, 1338976631622.png)

Existance unrelated.

>>20236903
How is it deadly? Or is that hyperbole?
>>20236933
>dem glorious earth-caste hips
>dat ork way of life
I doubt she's frail at all, but you may be a troll just digging in to tau hate.

This thread reeks of angst and butthurt over nothing.

And this isn't even /v/.

>>20237096
Indeed, I dont see why people have to bring up the butthurt of the past all the time.

>>20236869
How bout Rockeata?

Unless he recently got one, he has no wiki entry, but here's a basic rundown of him copypasta'd from an earlier thread:


>Rockeata Brugg
>The chief kommando. Remarkably patient when out sneaking, and keeps his boyz just as patient with judicious use of threats and violence. Named for his habit of chomping on rocks with his beartrap-like metal jaws both as a display of 'ardness and to fill his belly when food supplies have run out on a mission (unfortunately for his underlings, anyone who complains about being hungry is likely to be forced to share this unconventional food source), behind which lie his actual regenerating teeth.

Also he tells possibly boring stories of his prior missions and stuff, and comes up with crazy but surprisingly effective plans.

Also he features a bit in this story: http://pastebin.com/7xxkkvdw.

>>20237183
I'll edit him in to 'Scraplootas' category on the Wiki.

>>20237091
How is it deadly?
Armed warheads, that's why it's deadly.
Anyone outside the WAAAGH's field of influence should not even attempt to wield this thing without proper training.
Not to mention it's hard and full of sharp edges which is clearly not advised for people who do not goatse for morning gymnastics.
I'm also rather inconvinced the amount of power this thing has is not life-threateningly excessive in itself and the throttle mechanism seems far from safe or anatomically sensible.

>>20237206
It's orky
The throttle only has two setting stop and WAAAAAAAAAAAGH

So of course it is lethal to anything that doesn't live in the ork influence

File: 1344455163765.jpg-(27 KB, 800x510, Funstikk2.jpg)

>>20237206
Responsible drawfag here. Stikk/throttle pulls up and the 'ead pivots at the base. This sketch was all in good fun guys, I didnt mean to start any....drama or whatever you call this crap.

>>20237183

Today was Rockeata's day to shine. The Boyz had been hired to take out a small unit of them grey gits and some fancy truk they had. The scraplootas however, were preoccupied with all of the bits from another job - in particular a couple of massive shootas they had gotten from tha humies, which were being attached to Boris' right arm with gusto by the grots and mekboyz. Considering this, Rockeata Brugg and a squad of a few boyz and a heap of grots were dispatched to handle the job since the unit was so small (only about 9 of them). Rockeata had hatched quite a brilliant plan for this mission. His stealth was the cause of the trust the others put in him, and he was going to prove he was the sneakiest ork boy in the tribe this time.
>cont'd

>>20237250
It's cool.
To an extent anyways, it's all this muckin' about that's causing the drama.

Does anyone have the description of Snekkit?

>>20237250
You did not start this drama kind drawfag. You merely had fun with it. The author isn't really to blame either, I suppose.

>>20237250
I know. And it's all good with me.
I just wanted to point out that this thing should be avoided by real people [She's a product of our collective imagination, not your waifu, get over it.] because it would be unsafe to say the least.
Oh, and never forget the lube and use desinfection spray for afterwards.

>>20237288

It was night, and the boyz crouched on a craggy ridge overlooking the grey gits that were camping below. Two of them stood guard, and the rest were sleeping aboard the tank. Rockeata sank his metallic jaws into a particularly juicy rock, squinting at the camp, deciding from which direction to make the strike. The rock, much to his pleasure, tasted like fine squig. Most rocks do. He had overheard someone say that once when he was young, and ever since he was pleased to find that rocks really do taste quite fine, though few of the other boyz agree - and even then it is probably just for the sake of not arguing with him. One of the guards turned to the other and they began walking in the same direction to the other side of the tank. This was his window, he gave the signal and pulled out his pack. From it, he drew an enormous purple tarp, instructing everyone to get under it, and follow him as they marched silently towards the tank.

>>20237091
The Tau are known for being frail. One hit from an average human and they crumble like a house of cards.

By the way, the Fire Caste are the toughest Caste FYI.

>>20237339

They crept up, more quietly than the vacuum of space it seemed, and settled right up along the tank. Rockeata almost giggled at what was about to come. He pulled out a special piece of gear he had Zizzbitz fix up for him, made of some super springy and glowy gubbins, he was told that with a good hundred of these he could lift Boris' leg - but one would be enough to flip the tank. He nestled it in the dirt under one of the treads, snickering a bit, and then pressed the button, jolting the tank up a few feet on one side - then he threw off the tarp and him along with a couple of other boyz put their hands under the tread and pushed extra hard, flipping it over onto its back, curshing the grey gits on the other side. Then came the important part. He leaped up top, onto the metal underbelly, and cut out a hole with his choppa and dropping in a couple of explodin bitz. He jumped down and walked off a bit, then heard a resounding and pleasant couple of explosions, oily black smoke creeping out of the punctured hull.
>cont'd

File: 1344456080013.gif-(1.31 MB, 300x169, 1337018601514.gif)

>>20237364
I had no idea, they sound extremely pussified.

>>20237364
>>20237364
This sounds like blatant anti-tau faggotry, really.

>>20237422

Rockeata cheerfully chomped into another succulent stone, beaming at his victory, and telling the grots to head into the ship through the top of the hull and make sure that everyone was proppa ded. Rockeata congratulated himself on another success. He had the boyz get to work tearing off the armor and gubbins from the outside of the tank. It sure was a fine one, nicer than any he'd ever seen. In particular he was eyeing a few of the side plates that looked particularly tough. He decided he would take some for himself and so he got to work trying to chop off a few pieces. Much to his surprise, his choppas could hardly scratch the side plates. Rockeata looked skeptically at the plates now, determined to have them. He did the orky thing, and ripped them off with his hands, which was still rather difficult, but he had plans for these as well. Soon their work was done, and the camp was destroyed, and all the bitz of the tank loaded up to be taken back to the camp.
>cont'd

>>20237364
Weren't Eldar the brittle guys?
Tau are bad at CC because of the way they see, but not specifically prone to keeling over, AFAIK.

>>20237487

Upon returning to the camp it took quite alot of work from Zizzbitz on the plates, eventually resorting to one of the super hot choppas that the blue grot had put together to cut it them into proppa orky shapes. Most shootas were fairly ineffective against the plates too, Zizzbitz found, and he was audibly aghast at their resilience. He continued working with them of course, making Rockeata a right proppa suit of armor that covered alot of his body, and was painted a dark purple to help him stay sneaky. The scrap bitz were filed and worked together to make a ded killy set of new jaws for Rockeata, they cut right through rocks like a choppa through a humie. Rockeata was right pleased with his new protection, and his orky new eatin bitz.

>>20237561

>done
Rockeata scores some right proppa armor bitz and some ded killy new jaws from a prototype tank that the boyz looted.

>>20237459
It takes the ordinary fire warriors years of practice and dedication to overcome his natural disabilities and reach the level of an average IG with basic CQC training. They are runty and they don't have as much muscle mass as a human. That's their Warrior Caste. The ''toughest of all the tau''.

The Peasant Caste would fair much much worse in the toughness department because they aren't breed to be tough or hardy.

>>20237427
No shit, dude.

That's one of the reasons they avoid melee.

>>20237496
An Eldar would run circles around an average human.

>>20237604
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRR3iATGtRA

>>20237625
lol'd

>>20237306
There's some discussion about him in this thread: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/20144367/, but I can't find a concise description.

Here's some stuff I remember about him. Brings Blue on missions for luck (which Zizzbitz probably dislikes, but may tolerate). He idolizes Rockeata, and listens to his stories a lot.

In one story, he disguised himself as a large bush. Nothing about whether he uses this disguise frequently, but I personally see him using it as his favored disguise.

File: 1344457417380.gif-(1.55 MB, 475x491, goaHt.gif)

>>20237672
Goooood....

>>20237625
What the hell did I just watch?

Whatever, back to my original point. If a Tau can take it, then a human most certainly can.

It doesn't matter where is that Tau is raised. A kitten living with lions would still be a kitten.

Alright, that's all. Adios amigos.

>>20237747

Except for when the lions have the ability to make the kitten a lion just by believing the kitten is a lion.
>ork magik
Blue is orky because they think she is orky because she is orky
It's like metaphysical circular logic.

>>20237747
I think he meant that, that was the Eldar running in circles.

>>>/tg/20238354

I was trying to post here put whatever, dat comic.

>>20237794
Stop spreading misinformation, [spoilers]faggot[/spoilers]
When you figure out how orks actually work, instead of listening to the garbag /tg/ spouts about lolorkmagik (and even then its only the trolls and the idiots who believe the trolls) come on back.

>>20238567
Oh god I knew it was coming up to this.
Da hell man?

File: 1344463075686.jpg-(21 KB, 640x480, 1569wee.jpg)

>>20238736
But still very nice.
Funstikk is still non-canon

>>20238639
red vehicles go faster because orks believe they go faster

>>20239054
Well from what I know, *Not that guy* it's that Orks can change small things, such as their dakka, speed, among other things, but as the thread said a week ago.
Orks believing that a hormagaunt is a Carnifex doesnt make it a carnifex.
She's orky, but she's not an Ork.
She's still a Tau, but she's got dakka and choppy, and remember she's more of a Mekboy than a Slugga.

Red vehicles go fasta cuz da meks paint da fasta wunz red. From an orks point of view, the red makes it go faster.

>>20238909
It's everywher. You can't escape it.

Think about it. She's not an ork. She's tau. The WAAAGH can make her orky, sure, but not an ork. She'll go through the tau equivalent of puberty/breeding seasons/what have you without anyone to help. Parts of her body start muckin' about, she figures out how to deal with it, her orky traits lead to the funstikk.

And yes, I know next to nothing about tau biology or even if that subject has ever been expanded upon. But I can do well enough with how personified these 40k races are, I think.

>>20240657
No, they never look into anyone's pants.
So we just assume the only set of genitalia and behavior we really understand.
Actually we know next to nothing about any aspect of alien societies that are not what they field in battle or what they yell while doing so.
Aside from fanfluff, there is about nothing you could really do wrong. For all we know they could lay eggs or use ovipositors or any other alien principle.

File: 1344471383569.png-(767 KB, 875x1242, 1343551208314.png)

> All the races now lay eggs.
>WhatthefuckamIreading

>>20240817
Great then. My point stands. Blue was probably one horny grot for a while. She made the funstikk to help. Sympathize with her, allow her this small (relatively) tool of release.

>>20241102
>>20240817
>>20240657
That's at least three orders of reasoning/logic above normal 40k canon. I like this funstikk.

In a recent thread, there was some writefaggotry about a group of grots getting rid of an ork for messing with the grotocracy. Does anyone have the full story/able to direct me to it?

>>20241541
Cant remember if he finished it.
Though what I do know is I still haven't gotten my big juicy piece of text yet.

>>20241665
Patience anon. With the funstikk being somewhat resolved, anything is possible.

>>20229544
Have you seen the birth of Boris writefaggotry? It's beautiful

>>20241806
OP said he had something.
I've been waiting.
And Waiting.
...And... Waiting....

>some people STILL whining about the funstikk
>someone so buttmad he wrote Boris snuff porn
>Jetpack Zizzbitz and Nidrider Grots
Just another day for the Scraplootas

>>20230968
>>20231086
There was one anon that spammed every thread demanding them and even made two troll threads just to demand more fapfics. That's why no one wants to write any.

Has there been any good material on Threegrot? I really want to see/read more about him.

>>20242007
I'm actually warming to the funstikk now. Seems a tad more plausible. /tad/.

>>20231365
Make em Kroosaders of Gork. Scraplootas praise Gork, not Mork.

>>20237672
Well seeing as he disguised himself as a bush on a goddamn Space Hulk, he probably favors it quite a bit.

>>20242079
I never hated it. I found the whole thing hilarious and a natural byproduct of introducing ANYTHING to the internet. The only thing that annoys me is that guy who thinks he has some sort of God given right to Blue smut and clogs the threads with his whining.

File: 1344478170372.jpg-(41 KB, 655x269, 1344039821863.jpg)

>>20242036
If ya somehow make that into an Imperator Titan, we'll be golden.

>>20242297
I just meant the color b-but okay.

Also, apparently the Scraplootas have been cordially invited to the Eye of /tg/ campaign going on. I feel like that is something worth discussing.

>>20242320
The what with the whatnow?

>>20242363
see >>20196501
I say if someone does get in on that, put the Scraplootas on Order so they get to krump as many Chaosboys as they please. Plus, it would make sense for the Fanseer to hire Urtylug to fight in her stead.

Nah, fugg that I'm not getting involved in a campaign thread. cba.

>>20242422
Same. It'd be neat if someone repped the lootas, though.

>>20242320
>>20242409
Scraplootas don't particularly care about that though.

For them leaving the rest to go fight a campaign and looting their worlds blind while they are all busy fighting a campaign is more the idea

File: 1344485809897.jpg-(1.56 MB, 2000x1415, c8be3142af0f9a0d52ea752cd(...).jpg)

What's an Ork's favorite composer? Choppin'

Here's some writefaggrotry for you guys, that Big Mek Zizzbitz story I was working on.
http://pastebin.com/gMDKC8rH

Enjoy.

>>20243732
I think everyone migrated to >>20238354
As for the story, I liked it. The only thing I have to add is that under Waarakton they were called the Minnitboyz rather than the Scraplootas. I imagine the ship had a different name, too.

Saging for deadish thread.

>>20242007
That guy here. Why do people keep calling me buttmad?

>>20244296
Sorry dude, I was just skimming the thread and made assumptions. We've also had another anon who has taken it upon himself to shitpost in every thread until people produce Blue smut for him, which ironically leads to me not wanting to work on the piece of Blue smut I've been kicking around out of sheer spite, so there was a case of mistaken identity going on too. Honestly, it was a pretty decent little story and reflects how a lot of orks probably view the Scraplootas.

The other thread is getting more attention, by the way.

>>20244406
Oh well, I don't wanna post it in an 'actual' Boris thread.
I feel that would be quite rude.

>>20244431
Oh I just meant if you want to enjoy the thread. It has some fun writefaggotry and a comic about the funstikk.

>>20244406
WHY HAVE YOU NOT DELIVERED YET.

Why do you insist on testing our patience? DO YOU NOT FEAR THE CONSEQUENCES?!

We have warned you once. Work now or you'll regret it.

>>20244472
>>20244406
>We've also had another anon who has taken it upon himself to shitpost in every thread until people produce Blue smut for him, which ironically leads to me not wanting to work on the piece of Blue smut I've been kicking around out of sheer spite
>leads me to not wanting to work on the piece of Blue smut out of sheer spite
>Implying we could have had Blue smut already if there wasn't a shitposter
You are the reason we can't have nice things.

>>20244502
NO.

You are the reason we can't have nice things BECAUSE YOU INSIST ON DENYING THEM TO US.

You insist on denying what was promised to us. What we are entitled to!

YOU.ARE.AWFUL.AWFUL.PEOPLE.

>>20244538
Just so you know.
No one gives two shits, I dont even care anymore if people make fapfics.
And there's no ''We'' there's just You. And a series of shitposts.
Kindly get back to /b/

>>20245808
Stop bumping the dead thread and stop interacting with a shitposter. Everyone else moved to >>20238354

>>20245817
I know, I'm already there and i've been there for hours.