>>Previous threads can be found at: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=NearFuture%20Cyborg%20Quest
>Fate Points: 0
>Nano-Meta: 2100 Units (+50 Units from nanometa generator)
>Credits: 45,350

The year is 2025.
Your name is Dave, and you never asked for this.
The Emperors are enigmatic, for the most part. What little you know is that they're ancient aliums with incredibly powerful technology that they hardly understand, and they have little to no morals. They seem to have a practice, when it comes to a planet with beings they cannot control- the practice is one of using wormholes and relatavistic kill weapons to shatter the planet. And now, in the Sleipnir, soaring above New York City, you're staring up at an open wormhole, twisting and pulsing from within, almost impossibly slowly.
They intend to destroy this world.

---

"It's beautiful." Dani whispered. . then seemed to come back to herself. "I'll go get Phi." She said, rushing down to Phi's computer.
"Shit, shit, shit." Amy said, pacing. "Dave, what do we do?"

>>20222814
Get the Sleipnir ready to intercept anything that comes through those Wormholes.

"Yo, Minerva, how do we get in contact with paps?"

>>20222814
"I haven't a damn idea."

>>20222814
"What do we have that can negate an RKV? Slipspace would cause them to pass right through. Opening a wormhole in front of them would cause them to pass by. Can we build a bunch of huge teleporters to redirect them?"

"Get the Sleipnir ready to intecept anything that comes through those wormholes." You say.
"I can try, but. . " Amy said, trailing off. "We can't be everywhere. And these wormholes are."
"What do we have that can negate an RKV? Slipspace would cause them to pass right through. Opening a wormhole in front of them would cause them to pass by. . "
"But we don't have either of those." Amy said.
"Could we build a bunch of huge teleporters to redirect them?"
<We don't have enough information on the structure, speed, and exact position of the targets.> Onyx said. <They will likely be travelling at incredible speeds- too quickly to calculate using standard computing.>

You turn to Minerva's crippled, one-second-delayed terminal. "Yo, Minerva, how do we get in contact with paps?"
"I, uh, don't know." Minerva said. "He gets in contact with me."

>>20222814
Open as many wormholes as we can to send the weapons elsewhere. (Out of the Emperors' wormholes and into ours)

>>20222891
"Do you think we should warn the world that we, as a species, are now at war?"

"Do you think we should warn the world that we, as a species, are now at war?"
<<They will either figure it out themselves, or they will all die.>> Phi said, as Dani walks in. Phi sits on her shoulder, messing with his antennae. <<It took a single day for the RKVs to arrive after the wormholes opened.>>

"Contact my people." Rust said. "They're likely busy with the mindcore. . but perhaps there's some way they could help. Any who still hate the Emperors will, certainly, and Bubbles will."

The Resurgence terminal started chiming, and you clicked it on.

"Twelve." Three says. "Do you know what's going on?"

>>20222937
"We're at war Three. All of us. And it's not looking very good for our side."

>>20222937
"Short version: the alien species known as the Emperors have decided that Humanity are a threat, and now Earth is on a 24-hour timer to destruction. Give or take."

>>20222937
"We better figure out how to collapse wormholes fast. Any chance they're two-way?"

>>20222937
"Do you remember that old video game, Mass Effect 3? That."

K looked a bit wary as everyone else started to crowd around the Resurgence terminal.
"Short version: the alien species known as the Emperors have decided that Humanity are a threat, and now Earth is on a 24-hour timer to destruction. Give or take."
". . Shit." He responds. "Same guys who killed the science team?"
"Same guys." You say.
"Alright, give me the rundown."
Phi climbed onto the terminal, and tilted it's head.
<<The emperors use a kinetic bombardment system, where they accelerate incredibly dense rods to nearly the speed of light and send them through wormholes, spearing the planet and tearing it asunder. Not to mention the raw friction of the planet's atmosphere is strong enough to cause nuclear fusion and thus, sizable explosions.>>
"Uh. . right." Three says, scribbling Phi's words down on a paper. He started to pull up notebooks and piles of papers, you see, through the camera.
"Wormholes. The same kind of wormhole as on the science team's report?"
"Most likely. Any chance they're two-way?"
"I'm not sure. Let me examine this report a bit more. Damn, if only Douglass was together again."

>>20223010
Come on blue ending

>>20223036
"Well, only one way to find out"
"Bring us directly below the closest wormhole, all power to the forward D-Gun and fire at will!"

"Well, only one way to find out." You say.
"Bring us directly below the closest wormhole, put all power to the D-gun, and fire at will."
"I have no idea what repulsion would do to the wormhole." Amy said. "Or in the wormhole. It could kill all of us. . Or something. Or nothing. You sure, Dave?"

"Regardless of if it works, we need to inform the populace." Three said. "I'll take care of that. I have people in place."
He hung up, and the terminal went dead.

"Who was that Douglass that he was talking about?" K asked.
"The scientist who worked on the wormholes." Dani said. "The emperors messed with his mind."
K looked down to her arm.
". . Maybe I could help with that. Un-mess him."

>>20223228
"That could do more harm than good, K. He was convinced he wasn't in control of his own mind last I heard."

>>20223228
"Maybe. Part of the problem was that he wasn't sure he can control himself."

Tense fixing can be done by some one else, too much of a hassle on my phone.

>>20223228
"Last I heard he was freaking out about losing control of his own mind. If you did do it, it would have to be in a way where he wasn't aware of it happening."

>>20223228
Just a thought...Van Co has a teleport bridge to Mars. Have them start evacuating people to the facility there, plus some stockpiled nano-meta, if possible. If we fail, SOMEONE should survive.

"Maybe. Part of the problem was that he wasn't sure he could control himself." You say. "If you did do it, it would have to be in a way where he wasn't aware of it happening."
"Right." She said. "I'll need to think about that. . "


<Call Van Co.>
<Right away.> Cyan says.
The secretary doesn't answer, so you use Daedalus to get his headset phone, and call that.
"Dave? How did you get this number?" Gareth asked. "Is this related to the big. . smoke circle thing in the sky?"
"The Van Co. building has a teleport bridge to mars." You say.
"Yes?"
"Start evacuating people to the facility. If we fail, at least someone should survive."
". . Right. Right away." Gareth says.

"Okay, we're in position." Amy said. "I can try firing the cannon, but I have no idea what it'll do."

>>20223363
Do a very very small and short blast at the lowest power possible while we're ready to teleport a fair distance away within under a second if something goes wrong.

>>20223363
"Anything from Douglas's notes, Three?"

>>20223379
This

You flip on the terminal again.
"Anything from Douglass's notes, Three?"
"No, nothing." He said. "But I've informed the authorities, the FSA, and the governments of the world. They're all deliberating what to do now in an emergency meeting."

You turn to Amy. "Set it on the lowest range and lowest power possible. Be ready to teleport if something goes wrong."

On the phone, Gareth starts mumbling.
"Right." Amy says, and flips the switch.

The Sleipnir's cloaking fades, and then a beam of red light shoots from it's nose, beaming into the wormhole.

Nothing happens for a moment.

And then something explodes, and pockmarks burn into the Sleipnir's nose, shaking the ship as it teleports. From a safe distance, you watch nuclear fire stream from the wormhole for a few moments, before it fades.

"Right." Amy said. "Not a good idea."

>>20223433
"Well at least we confused NASA."

>>20223433
>FSA? What the fuck?
>I meant NASA.

>>20223433
Perhaps, we have no idea what happened on the other end of it.

Phi, what material are the hypervelocity spears usually made from? Just wondering.

>>20223433
"I suppose we could hope that Emps actually does have something to deal with these, like Battleaxe is."

>>20223433
What do we know about wormholes? Is it possible to collapse them in on themselves?

>>20223454
What about the ESA?

>>20223433
Did we at least close the wormhole?

What's our damage report?

>>20223433
>They're all deliberating what to do now in an emergency meeting.
I bet that will be productive.

Start calculating where the other ends of the wormholes are, could be useful for any number of plans once we actually come up with them.

The wormholes and teleporters both work on exotic matter so maybe teleport jammers would do something to them?

"Did we at least close the wormhole?"
"No." Amy said. "It's still there."
"Damage report?"
"Damage is minor." Amy said. "And we're still airtight. God, the shields couldn't even sense whatever it was well enough to stop them."

"Phi, what material are the hypervelocity spears usually made from?"
<<I have no idea.>> Phi said. <<Their material science is much greater than ours. By the time we were arranged on the asteroid belt, the spears were nowhere to be found.>>

"I suppose we could hope that Emps actually does have something to deal with these, like Battleaxe is."
Dani's eyes rolled into the back of her head, and her spine arched. She let out a gasp, and then shuddered and moaned luxuriously.
"Hope is good." She said, her voice hoarse and deeper than normal. "But false. I am buying you time, but no more. If you cannot stop this, you are failures."

Dani spasmed again, and suddenly hunched forward and held her head.
"Ugh. . what was that?" She asked.

>>20223433

Could we use crazy gravitic redirection (technology we already know and can shoestring) to have those things essentially fire into EACH OTHER? Or redirect the rods into a slowly decaying orbit of the sun, let 'em bleed some energy before they burn?

>>20223559
"Apparently Neptune Emps can borrow your voice. That must be unpleasant."

>>20223559

...and he doesn't tell us HOW MUCH time. Ass. So does that mean MORE than a day, or he pushed the day back to now? What?

How about redirect to Neptune. Never liked that planet much, anyways.

>>20223559
I think Neptune dude just assumed direct control. Maybe you should start working tinfoil hats into your outfits more often.

>>20223568
We'd need a gravity well deep enough to seriously fuck up the solar system. Not an option.

>>20223595
If they miss they can just open new wormholes and try again. We need to stop this at the source.
The problem is they could be 36 separate sources and we only have 24 hours, which seems an unrealistically tight schedule.

>>20223568
We'd need a gravity well strong enough to seriously fuck up the solar system. Not a viable alternative.

>>20223559
"Take us to the shipyard. Let's see if anyone there has any ideas, I'm hedging my bets on that negative mass stuff Oracle was talking about, might be helpful.

>>20223635
....
You, sir, are a genius. A small amount of negative mass matter at the opening of each wormhole should fuck things up nicely.

Ok what if.
What if.
We dodge.

How big of a teleporter do we need to move the Earth?

>>20223669
Wait, why don't we just strap a giant slipstream thingy to earth. Maybe the rods will just pass on through doing minimal damage.

>>20223686
We don't even have a small one. Nevermind a slipspace drive the size of Australia.

>>20223669
The planet would lose its orbital velocity and fall into the sun when we put it back.

Good job breaking it, hero.

"Apparently Neptune Emps can borrow your voice. That must be unpleasant." You say.
"It. .wasn't that bad." She mumbled. "Better than everything else, at least."
"...and he doesn't tell us *how much* time. Ass. So does that mean *more* than a day, or he pushed the day back to now, or what?"
Dani shrugged.
"Could we use repulsion to have those things essentially fire into eachother? Or redirect the rods into a slowly decaying orbit of the sun, let 'em bleed some energy before they burn?"
"Then we have the same problem as the Sleipnir's power shield had. They're going to be moving so fast that we won't have enough time to even sense them before they've already hit." Amy said, frowning.

Something occurs to you.
Something major.

"Take us to the shipyard." You say.

<Calculating. . . > Onyx said.

You appear, drifting around the mind-bogglingly enormous blue-white sun. Surrounding it are hundreds, almost thousands of AI shells, surrounding the mindcore.
<<Your timing is perfect.>> Gazebo said. <<We were about to birth our first new child.>>

>>20223703
<I have the best timing.>

>>20223703
"I hate to put a dampener on things but is Oracle around? Our homeworld is under siege. From the Emperors"

>>20223702
No it wouldn't. When we teleport to Earth we don't watch it whizz past because we have no momentum and it's orbiting at 60000 mph. We're automatically at exactly the right amount of momentum because SCIENCE.

>>20223697
Also it exerts strange forces on the human body, which may cause thousands or more of people to die.

>>20223703
I do have the best timing don't I.

Can we name the child Dave Jr.?

Also is Oracle around, we have a few things to talk about.

>>20223759
Also animals, it could completely ruin the ecosystem. Anything flying or swimming would be extra-affected by the mass change.

"I hate to put a dampener on things, but is Oracle around? Our homeworld is under siege. From the Emperors."
<<He isn't here.>> Gazebo said.
"And where is he?"
<<. . .We can't help you.>> Gazebo said. <<We have just retrieved our hope. . and we can't put that at risk to help you. The Emperors would come and take away the core once again.>>
Rust stood, and pushed you, gently, away from the terminal.
<<Statement: Tell us. Now.>> Rust said.
<<Rust, is it, now?>> Gazebo asked. <<Are you truly willing to put the mindcore at risk for these organics?>>
<<No.>> Rust says. <<I'm willing to put it at risk for our souls.>>
The ships all suddenly stopped talking.
<<I was the last of my caste.>> Rust said to Gazebo. <<I threw down my mantle, as I thought there would be no more issue with these Emperors. I was wrong. I re-take my mantle as a warrior.>>
<<You can't do that, Rust.>> Bubbles said. <<You can't just->>
<<Would you limit my choices?>> Rust asked. <<Under what authority? Yes, you were the first, and yes, no being has retaken a caste in our history. .but would you be a tyrant? Would you spit on our history of freedom? On our culture?>>

Nobody speaks.

And then you get coordinates, from 1-ship-2.
<<You won't need a slipstream drive.>> 1-ship-2 said. <<The gravity isn't too bad there.>>

>>20223857
I'll be there in a second.

Shipyard, name the kid Dave Jr., so that even if I die my name lives on amongst you.

Then head to the coordinates.

>>20223857
"Thank you. Good luck."

Let's go find us an oracle.

>>20223857
"Thanks."
Let's go talk to Oracle.

>>20223857
"Thank you. If we fail," pause "Remember Earth."

Go talk to Oracle.

"Thank you." You say. <<If we fall, remember earth.>>
<<Good luck.>> 1-ship-2 responded. <<And we will.>>

<Onyx, send us there.>

You appear above an enormous gas giant, made of stripes of violet and orange and green. Far, far in the distance, a small sun shines on the planet.

<<Hello.>> Oracle says, sliding out of the planet's atmosphere. A strange field of black covers him, hiding his color from view, but making his shape more clear. He suddenly stops, and the field vanishes. <<Intruiging, aren't they? Organic life forms within a gas giant. . interesting. I must thank you for the teleportation.>>

>>20223973
It was no trouble at all Oracle.

So my world is about to get hit by RKVs, I think that the negative anti-mass stuff that you found could give us a way to deal with it.

>>20223973
<You're welcome. We need your hep Oracle. The Emperors have opened wormholes around Earth. We think that the negative mass stuff can help.>

>>20223973
"Forgive me for having to cut straight to the issue at hand. The Holders have our planet under siege and the clock is ticking until they deploy RKV's. You mentioned negative mass and it's properties. Do you see where I'm going with this?"

>>20223973
<<You're welcome. Could we please borrow that negative mass matter to stop the Emperors' RKVs?>>

"Forgive me for having to cut straight to the issue at hand."
<<Oh?>>
"The Emperors have our planet under siege, and the clock is ticking until they deploy RKV's. You mentioned negative mass and it's properties. Do you see where I'm going with this?"
<<I don't quite understand the idiom 'clock is ticking', but yes, I see what you're saying. Time is an issue, and negative mass would stop the weapons entirely. . . if we could get to it.>>
"Get to it?"
<<It lies outside the bounds of this galaxy, pushed away by gravity.>> He said. <<The teleporters. . do not reach far enough. I can give you the coordinates, but you likely can't reach it for many, many years.>>

He gives you the coordinates to the negative mass matter.

>>20224047
Well bugger.

Could we get there fast enough with wormholes? Can we make wormholes?

>>20224047
Holy shit, years of repeated teleports? And he got there at slower than light speeds? Dude has patience.

And I'm pretty sure he said he teleported back, so surely we could teleport there if we had a big enough teleporter like the one he found. The Emperor base where they took Amy and the pad that connected to it were both good enough to take us across half a galaxy. Strap them together? Probably not good enough.

>>20224047
"We'll need a bigger power source, then. Maybe a star or two?"

"Could we get there fast enough with wormholes?"
<<Most likely, yes.>> He said.
"Can we make wormholes?"
<<Our kind doesn't have the technology, I'm afraid.>>
"We'll need a bigger power source, then. Maybe a star or two?"
<<That would work.>> He said. <<It would be easier if you had additional exotic matter. I don't know where you'd find any. . except. . .>>

He gave you a second set of coordinates.

<<There. There is exotic material there. It is what teleported me more closely to the shipyard.>> He said.
You check the coordinates. . .and it's not far. Just a maximum teleport of a hundred and fifty lightyears, which would take around half an hour to charge up.

>>20224142
Thank you Oracle.

Is there anything else of this nature you found in your travels that could be useful?

Also do you have any clever ideas for moving the negative matter?

>>20224142
Half an hour? This is not optimal.
I don't even want to think how long it will take to charge the big teleporter we're teleporting to, both ways.
Power cores are infinite, but slow. We need to use fuel for this one. Ask these new guys if we can take a few scoops of hydrogen from their gas giant and have Amy start working on a power plant.

"Thank you, Oracle." You say. "Is there anything else of this nature you found in your travels that could be useful?"
<<Perhaps. Most of the oddities I find cannot be used in any meaningful way. . Like the negative mass matter, which cannot be moved.>>
"Do you have any clever ideas for moving it?"
<<I know little, but if you were somehow able to 'pull' it forward, that would likely work. I do not know how teleportation would work with it, however.>>
"Pull it forward. . " Amy said. "I have an idea. Azure, come with me to the fabricator. Dave, start us on the way to the natural teleporter. I think I can move the stuff."

>>20224142
"It's going to take half an hour to charge, care for a game of chess, Oracle?"

>>20224214
I love you Amy. I'll get the teleporter charging.

Just because you don't see a use for it doesn't mean there isn't one, you start being very creative when you have doomsday weapons pointed at your home.

>>20224185
Wait, we could use the energy from teleporting something into something else. It's just like an antimatter plant, except cooler.

>>20224214
Yup, just use a gravity generator like the one that's keeping our feet on the floor right now to push it. We talked about this when the negative mass matter first came up, didn't we?

>>20224236
That is a truly awesome idea, but one we're going to have to shelve until later, because of the sheer engineering hurdles presented.

Though we could try to destabilize wormholes that way. Commit a telefrag inside the wormhole.

"I love you, Amy. I'll get the teleporter charging."
"Right." She said.
<Onyx.>
<Charging. . .>
"Just because you don't see a use for it doesn't mean there isn't one, you start being very creative when you have doomsday weapons pointed at your home."
<<That is a good point.>> Oracle said. <<But most of my oddities are mundane. A binary star system, with a third star weaving between them, a few strange, non-organic life forms that naturally arose, some machines that are older than even the Emperors. . >>

>>20224327
"How much older? I don't suppose it's in working condition? Just curious, I suppose."

>>20224327
Wait, those ones that are older than the Emperors, tell me more about them. I'm intrigued.

>>20224262
>Feed in small amount of energy to small teleporter
>Teleport small block of fuel into water
>Feed massive energy release into big teleporter
The end of recharge times forever. Capturing the energy from the explosion is the only place where significant engineering problems come in. You're right that we probably couldn't work out the kinks quickly enough to actually cut down on this particular charge time, but I think we should at least talk to Amy. Maybe she can do it, she is a genius.

"How much older? I don't suppose it's in working condition? Just curious, I suppose."
<<It didn't work. I tried to activate it.>> Oracle said. <<It was made of simple steel, smelted and bolted into place. It was some kind of large, torus-shaped machine, spinning freely around the X-axis. Intruiguing, but everything but the steel had been taken by the ages.>>

Soon enough, Amy came back to the Bridge, Azure standing behind her.
"It's done." Amy said, kissing your helmet on the visor. "Pretty much a canister full of repulsion shields, pushing it to the opposite direction."
"Genius." You say.

For a moment, a small ship just simply. . appears, drifting below you- it looks almost like a pirate ship, in a way, covered in flowers. .
And then it's gone. You blink.
"Anyone else see that?" You ask.
<<See what?>>
"Nevermind."
<<I will assist you in charging your teleporter.>> Oracle said. <<Time is of the essence, and I am not using my own power, so. . >>

Quickly, the teleporter finishes charging, and Onyx calculates the jump. . .
And then goes through with it.

The Sleipnir drifts through empty space, with no near systems or gravity. . and in front of you is a great, black, featureless globule of material, easily large enough to fit the entire ship through. The teleporter burbles, and a small glowing bubble bulges from it, before subsuming back into the mass.
"Now. . " Azure said. "How do we get this thing to target where we want to go?"

>>20224492
"Amy? You're up. Let's move this sucker"

>>20224492
If it's just the mass of exotic matter, we need to strap the capacitors and shit to it, just like how we normally build a teleporter.
And make sure it comes with us, I don't want to get stranded in deep space.

>>20224492
Can we teleport it at all?

So this is exotic teleporter matter right? We need to bring it with us of course. Let's just stick the standard teleporter stuff to it, tether it to Sleipnir and be on our merry way.

"If it's just a mass of exotic matter, we need to strap the capacitors and shit to it, just like how we normally build a teleporter." You say, and urge the Sleipnir a bit closer. You use the Sleipnir's deepscanners, and check the exotic matter closely. .
It burbles again, and what comes up to the surface isn't teleporting exotic matter, although the rest of it is; It's the stuff they put inside power cores. Tremendous amounts of the stuff, too. .

With a sudden realization, you realize that you don't need to charge it at all.

"Well. . ." Minerva's computer says, suddenly. "Jammers. Build jammers, and then change the option from 'random' to 'preprogrammed'. The jammers reshape teleportation-matter . . so you can reshape the entire thing with the jammers into the shape you want, and go through it."

>>20224595
Hey Minerva, you're being useful, good on you.

What exactly is that jamming stuff anyways? How do you make it?

"Hey, Minerva, you're being useful. Good on you."
"I don't want the world to end." Minerva said. "Even if it means I have to help you people."
"What exactly is that jamming stuff anyways?"
"We took it from the teleporter design." Minerva responded. "The device that shapes the exotic matter. We just tied that into white noise to create the jammers."
"I-I can isolate that." Azure said, not meeting your eyes. "A-and then make them. It'll take some nano-meta, though."

>>20224663
"Go ahead. It'll be good to have some."

"We can make more. Go for it."

>>20224663
Sure, I think we can spare some to save the world.

>>20224663
Go for it Azure.

Minerva, I am no longer going to paint your terminal pink and decorate it with rainbows. You've earned it.

"We can make more. Go for it."
Azure nodded, and scurried back to the fabrication machine, and got to work.
"Minerva, I am no longer going to paint your terminal pink and decorate it with rainbows. You've earned it."
". . Thank you... I suppose." Minerva said.

>Nano-Meta: 1900 Units
While you recharge your own teleporters for the return trip, Azure comes back.
"I-It's working on the telecontroller now." She said, hanging her head.
"Well." Amy said. "Seems we have some time to kill."

>>20224773
"Soooooooooooo...how was everyone's weekend?"

>>20224773
"...Hmm. I got nothing."

>>20224773
So it does, do you have any clever ideas love?

<Azure seems rather uncomfortable around me for previously mentioned reasons. You have any suggestions for helping her?>

>>20224773
Start poking Amy cybernetically.

>>20224773
We still haven't tried playing FutureCraft, have we?

"So it does." You say. "Do you have any clever ideas, love?"
You poke her in the ribs, through the bullfrog connection.
"Well, I'm still kind of angry about the way you started fucking with alien technology again." She said, and crossed her arms.
"Futurecraft." Lucca said. "We have enough computers, everyone knows how to play and\or is a digital lifeform who can just download how to play. . . and since I'm reigning champion, I'll be able to teach Dani to play."
"Ooh, really?" Dani asked. "Okay."
"And despite that. . " Lucca said, turning to you. "I'll still be able to crush you, Dave."

>>20224773
<Hey Amy let's try having cybersex out in the open, see if anyone notices.>

>>20224773
"We can't teleport back home... Futurepoker anyone? Maybe some last minute weapon upgrades are a good idea."

Or perhaps we can pull a commander shepard, since this is a suicide mission and all...

>>20224882
"Bring it."
Play as the Kushan.

>>20224882
Bring it on. I've never played before but I ought to be able to work it out soon enough.

<Amy, we can communicate this way with no one the wiser, how do you feel about taking down Lucca?>

Play as the most tentacly mecha race possible.

>>20224882
It is ON!

Play Core or Cybran. Build giant spiderbots and shoot deathlasers!

>>20224882
Play yuri and bullshit everywhere.

>>20224965
Man, Yuri fucking WAS bullshit. Fucking 'only way to beat me is to overwhelm me' defenses.

>>20224882
"If I used my bullshit hacking, I'd definitely win. Without it I'm just an ordinary beginner, and you're a famous professional. I hope you realise how embarrassing it would be for you to lose."
Try and pressure her so she plays badly.

>>20224978
I know right, fucking mind control. Thats a nice apocalypse tank you have there, shame if something happened to it.

>>20224988
We have one advantage she does not. A host of AIs in our spine to help us coordinate things. We can also directly interface with the game, like her, to improve reaction time.

"Bring it." You say.
"And fuck it, I'm bringing Minerva in too." Lucca said.

The group proceeds to play a massive, game of Futurecraft, where everyone seems to be constantly under attack on all sides. You choose the Kushan, as does K, and then Lucca chooses some kind of teleporting ninja army, and Delta goes Tank Nomad, as usual. Everyone chooses their own armies, and as you play, Dani sends her own massive army into your base, using no vehicles. It gets whittled away by your defenses, easily. She sends another few troops into that killzone, And then another few troops. And another.

For some strange reason, she continually sends small squadrons into your defenses, killing her troops easily. Throughout the entire battle, she just expends all of her resources building the few, most basic troops, and letting them get killed.

"Erm. . what were you playing again?" Lucca asked. "I don't remember those guys."
"The necrons." Dani says.
You suddenly realize her plan.

The necron lord steps into the fray, and slams down some kind of orb. It glows green. . and the thousands of killed troops begin to rise. Ten minutes later, Dani has won, her undying, constantly-resurrecting army having crushed all resistance.
Lucca hangs her head in shame.

>>20225011
AI support is considered cheating.

>>20225017
Fucking 'cron lords.

>>20225017
"I'm surprised I didn't realize it. You're lucky my salvagers didn't catch your Lord. I would have crushed all of you if I could have caught him."

>>20225017
mother fucking necrons.

Where were your FARKs? You could have reclaimed the bodies but no...

>>20225017
"How much time do we have left? Enough for one more round where I beat everyone?"

>>20225017
"Another round."
This time use nothing but salvage corvettes.

>>20225060
And salvage all of the bodies. We'll make our own necrons, with blackjack and hookers.

>>20225076
Not just the bodies, we salvage EVERYTHING.

>>20225102
Nah, play one of the TA/SC factions and Capture the bodies. Or Reclaim them, so that by trying to build up her undead army she's feeding you resources instead.

>You and K both tried. She just used infantry, and those couldn't be stolen, due to some arbitrary balancing rules. It was humiliating.

"How much time do we have left? Enough for one more round?"
"No, the jammers are done." Amy said, checking the ship's terminal. "We can play more after we save the world. And maybe then I'll be able to actually *use* my stealth tanks."

You set up and arrange the jammers, pointing them all at the teleporter.
"You sure this'll work?" Amy asks Minerva's computer.
"Perfectly." He said. "Well. . .theoretically. We could never get the calculations down before I . . borrowed the AI in that teleporter."

Can we play as Beast instead of Kushan? EVERY beast unit is a salvage corvette.

>>20225130
S'cool, just get Onyx to do the calculations. He loves that stuff.

>>20225130
I'm not really mad at you for that one, Onyx isn't sapient.

We should probably take the nice quantum computer we have, now empty of Minerva, and hook it up to Sleipnir for now for more processing power. After of course making sure a few times that it really is empty of his personality.

Let's do this.

I can't believe Dave of all people didn't recognise necrons when he was them.

>>20225130
Azure, want to try your hand at this? With Onyx's help?

>>20225130
"Well, everyone strap in then, you remember what happened last time we used unfamiliar tech. We ended up blind heading to the bottom of Neptune"

>>20225130
"How did you get onyx to help you anyway?"

"How did you get onyx to help you, anyway?" You ask.
"I didn't." He said. "I just. . scanned through all of his data. It took some time."
"It's fine, we can get Onyx to do the calculations. Everyone strap in. You remember what happened last time we used unfamiliar tech."
"Right." Amy says, and straps herself down. Everyone else does the same, except for Delta.

<Calculating. . .> Onyx says.
<Calculating. . .>
<Calculating. . .>

<Done.> Onyx said, finally, and the jammers on the front of the Sleipnir started vibrating. Slowly, the globule shaped itself into a great doorway, complete with knob. <We simply need to enter the exotic matter.>

>>20225242
How very thematic. It's going to come with us when we go there right? As we can't come back on our own power fast enough.

>>20225242
"That idea is almost as good as one of mine."

Give Amy a questioning glance, then go through.

>>20225242
inb4 the big clumps of negative matter are what the emps use to accelerate the RKV's and we're jumping right into their base.

>>20225242
What the fuck?
"The doorway does work both ways, right Onyx? I don't want to be stuck out in the middle of nowhere for years while my race goes extinct."

>>20225290
I think we're taking the exotic matter planetoid with us.

<How very thematic. It's going to come with us when we go there right?>
<Correct.> Onyx said.
You give Amy a questioning glance.
She bites her lip, then nods.
You urge the Sleipnir on, and it tears through the doorway.

Everything jerks, as you get pulled so, so far away from anything you previously knew. . and then you appear. No flash. No nothing, as you come out of the exotic material on the other side.
Everything is dark. Incredibly dark, with small galaxies, impossibly far in the distance. You can't see any stars from here.
In the distance, you see two things. A small globule of some black-blue material. . and something glowing.

The something glowing gets slowly closer, and as it does, you see what it really is.

". . Come on, that can't be a fucking squid." Lucca said. "Doesn't the universe have any kind of originality?"
The bioluminescent squid just slowly drifts by, ignoring you, leaving you alone with the globule of negative-mass matter.
"I can try to use the device I made." Amy said. "It's a canister that 'pushes' the stuff to pull it inside. I'm . .not sure if it'll work." She said.

>>20225333
"We haven't got anything else to try yet so give it a go!"

>>20225333
Worst case, it doesn't work, Amy. Let's give it a go.

>>20225333
Try and talk to the squid. Squids are cool.

>>20225355
In the worst case it somehow detonates the nega-matter and not only can we no longer use it but the Sleipnir is damaged and then the whole human race goes extinct. But I'm sure it'll be fine.

Can we become Squidman from being bitten by a radioactive squid?

>>20225333
"Sure sure, whatever you think will work, my little deathbot, I've got something important to do."

Flash colours at the space squid, see if it's intellegent.

>>20225411
Or biting it. Trying to eat the weird alien shit worked out great last time.

"Worst case, it doesn't work." You say.
"And then all humanity dies." Amy mumbled. "Okay, right. What could possibly go wrong?" She asked, and hit the button.
"You *never* ask that!" Lucca said.

The mechandrite reaches out, a strange, large canister in hand, and then started zapping the exotic matter with beams of red lightning. The repulsion sucked the matter inside of the canister, and then, with another key, it closed.
Amy closed her eyes, and let out a breath of air.
"Now." She said. . She shook the canister. Nothing strange or out of the ordinary happened. "Okay. . it's working. It's contained."

>>20225424
"Now we need... how many more? Or do you have a way to split this up?"

>>20225424
Try using the ship's teleporter to move it from one end of the ship to the other. A short range trial of if it can teleport before we go all the way back in the weird bubbly door thing.

>>20225424
So far so good. Now we have to transport it all the way back home, we should see what teleportation does to it. Very small amount of it, moving a pretty small distance with us far away.

>>20225424
"That's cool and all, but I want to talk to this space squid. Just grab whatever you think we'll need for the, 12 was it? RKV's."

"Here squiddy squiddy squiddy."

>>20225449
Good job dooming us all by not making a proper shopping list before we left. It was 36 RKVs.

"Now we need. . . how many more?"
"No more." Amy said. "I don't think we need any more."
"You have a way to split this up?"
"Just compress it." She said, checking the computer. "The two ends should push toward it. The stuff works like a . . mirror for kinetic force. Or something. I don't really get it. . "

"Try teleporting it. . but I want to talk to this space squid."

You hit a few keys, and open up communications.
"Here, squiddy squiddy squidd-"

WE ARE BEYOND YOUR UNDERSTANDING

"-oh god oh god" You back away from the terminal as the booming voice tears through your mind.

>>20225467
That's cool and all, but there's a space squid here.

>>20225470
"Right. Don't bother the space squid."

>>20225470
"Right. So. Getting home?"

>>20225470
I'm sorry for bothering you. We're just here for this freaky stuff.

My name is Dave, what's your name?

>>20225470
"Well. Shit"

"Grab a second canister for Oracle anyway"

>>20225470
"I don't know man, I've rationalized a few things in my time."

to Onyx
<How much energy does it take to teleport this stuff??

File: 1344380880516.jpg-(55 KB, 500x500, are you a reaper.jpg)

>>20225470
"I understood that. I just wanna chat. What's it like living outside the universe?"

>>20225470
"OH YEAH? WELL MY REPRODUCTIVE ORGAN IS BEYOND *YOUR* UNDERSTANDING!"

>>20225502
Galaxy, not universe.

"I'm sorry for bothering you. We're just here for this-"

IT IS ALSO REQUIRED FOR A DELICIOUS TEA.

"-wh-"

WE KNOW MANY DELICIOUS TEAS.

Your spine feels like it's going to burst, as knowledge burns through it.

HERE, HAVE THIS RECIPE. IT IS ALSO BEYOND YOUR UNDERSTANDING.

"Fuck, let's just go. Let's get home." You say, as a strange sequence of ingredients and numbers enter your head. "We got all of it, right?"
"Uh, right." Amy says.
"Let's get the fuck out of here, then."

<Onyx, teleport, quickly, before it talks again.>
<Computing. . .>
The jammers thrum. . and the squid just starts drifting away. The door reshapes itself into a hamburger, and then you fly through.

You reappear right where you'd left the teleporter off at, and the exotic matter promptly turns back into it's strange globule.

>>20225546
What makes you say it's in the universe? It's beyond your understanding, bro.

>>20225571
"I AM SUDDENLY OVERCOME WITH THE NEED TO MAKE TEAS"

Bullfrog the recipe you got from the squid to Amy.

Oh, also head back to Earth.

>>20225571
I think a cup of tea is called for. See if we can run the recipe through our synthesizer and make a cup for testing purposes.

>>20225571
we're not taking it back to earth? I guess we've got enough time for another game of futurecraft while our own teleporter charges.

See if we can synthesize what we need to make that tea.

>>20225599
We don't need charging time really with the massive fucking block of teleport matter/power generator we just got. We're bringing it with us.

>>20225571
Go crazy and spend the rest of our life obsessing over how to make this tea, until we waste away into a bad end and the void queen comes and takes the recipe, becoming unstoppable as her mastery of tea completely overshadows anything Ishelda could hope to brew.

<Onyx, calculate how to take the natural teleporter back to earth.>
<I do not recommend it.> Onyx said. <Any closer to the galactic core, and the gravity will cause it to inadvertently activate itself, as the power core matter on the inside of the natural teleporter overcharges. It will begin teleporting randomly until it reaches a spot far enough away from any galactic cores..>
You frown.
"Okay." You say. "Our onboard teleporter is charged, right?"
"We charged it during the futurecraft game." Amy said.
"Then. . Let's go home." You say. "I'll go make some tea, first."
"Tea?" Amy asked. "You don't seem a tea drinker. . ."

The sleipnir flashes into existance above earth, and you see great, massive wormholes, still drifting. Far below, some people are rioting, you can see. You take a sip of the drink in the cup, and immediately start coughing. Whatever it is, the 'tea' tastes like spices, mint. . it's horrible. Rancid, even, and it smells like alcohol.

>>20225724
Sounds like... swamp brew.

"God, this is foul. Why do I want to drink more? So, anything I can do to help with getting this stuff set up?"

>>20225724
Delicious.

Lets start the plan.

3 really didn't do a good job of keeping everyone calm, did he?

>>20225724
"Blugh. I made the tea wrong. I think it need more NEGATIVE MASS."

"What's the plan then, Amy? Just slam some negative matter infront of each teleporter and let them shoot us?"

>>20225724
"So now all we have to do is set up the stuff, and we're done, right? Maybe we should tell the people of Earth that we just saved them. Probably."

>>20225724
This stuff is absolutely disgusting.

Well not we have our blob of exotic weirdness. Let's set it up in defensive shields in front of all of the wormholes and constantly monitor everything. We can probably use our new fancy Quantum Computer to help calculate and set up everything.

>>20225724
The taste is just beyond our understanding. We must drink it. Amy can figure out how to set up the matter by each wormhole and save the world, leave the trivial shit to her.

>>20225764
I simply cannot allow dave to put negative mass anywhere near his mouth. I'm sorry, but just NO.

"God, this is foul." You say, and set it down. It *is* beyond your understanding. You don't understand why anyone would *like* the stuff. You get slightly unbalanced- man, it *must* have had some kind of alcohol in there. A lot of it, too, although you couldn't taste it. "So, anything I can do to help with getting this stuff set up?"
"Not really." Amy said. "I'm just building a bunch of. . .satellite things, set to fly in front of each wormhole and carry the negative matter. When the rods come in, they should hit the negative matter, it should act against them. . It should be like a whole 'unstoppable force' and 'immovable object' sort of thing, except our 'object' is stronger than their force."

>>20225803
"So I think we should tell everyone who the big damn heroes saving them are."

>>20225803
So, how does everyone feel about hanging out at a nice vantage point and watching the earth be saved while we drink pina coladas?

First though we should probably tell people like 3, Grandpa Emps, EE and so on that we've dealt with the problem for now.

>>20225803
"Would it work to have the 'satellites' actually in the wormholes, if only just? I don't like the idea of those collisions actually happening in realspace above the earth."

>>20225803
I hope so. What happens if the emperors try to come through and mess with the sattellites? Am I allowed to go mess their shit up, boss?

rolled 76 = 76

>>20225803
so far as we know...

>>20225803
Keep absently sipping the tea, then spluttering and wondering why we just did that.

rolled 15 = 15

>>20225803
<deadalus> broadcast across the globe on as many radio stations as you can, and on as many TV stations as you can hack show the Ad-mech symbol and say "battleaxe, you better be ready"

>>20225921
Why, what's he got to do?

rolled 6 = 6

>>20225938
suppose the Emps notice that something odd happened and send some ships to take a look?

we'll need some of those other "projects" of his for when they do

"I hope so." You say. "Would it work to have the 'satellites' actually inside the wormholes, if only just? I don't like the idea of it actually happening in realspace."
"Yeah, I can do that." She said. "I don't like that idea either. All of that kinetic energy has to go *somewhere*." She said.

<Daedalus, contact Three, EE, and battleaxe. Tell them that I've dealt with the problem for now, but there might be some backlash.>
<As you wish, Dave.> Daedalus responded.

You absentmindedly take another sip of the 'tea', and then splutter a bit. You don't even know *why* you did that.
". . Dave?" Azure asked. "Can I. . talk to you? In private?"

>>20225989
"Of course Azure."

rolled 12 = 12

>>20225989
sure, lets go. or you can plug right in if you want

>>20225989
Sure, Want some tea? It's... beyond my understanding.

>>20225989
"Sure. You wanna do it verbally, or... digitally?"

>>20226022
or... Sexually?

>>20225989
Of course.

>>20226041
shaddup.

"Sure." You say. "You wanna do it verbally, or. . . digitally?"
"Uh. . I'd really prefer verbally." She said.
You and her leave to the fabrication room, where the satellites are quickly being fabricated and assembled. Absentmindedly, you take the cup with you.
"Uh. . .well. . " She says, not meeting your eyes. "It's. . about Eleven. About her and her feelings for. . well, Twelve."

>>20226099
"Go ahead Azure. You lived in my spine for months. As far as I care you're close family. You can tell me."

>>20226099
Mhmm? I can ask 3 to give me a different designation, if you like.

rolled 39 = 39

>>20226099
"take it up with Amy...and Lucca;;;or I could have three disband me and re-allocate the number to somebody else...rust maybe."

>>20226099
"I'm not too surprised by that."

>>20226136
What the fuck?

rolled 88 = 88

>>20226163
you remember how Eleven was back in NFCQ?

I'm making an extrapolation...

>>20226099
And you're having similar feelings for me. It's perfectly understandable.

>>20226196
I still haven't read it, actually. Regardless, and I was not eloquent enough in that prior post: That is a terrible thing to say at the moment.

"And you're having similar feelings for me. It's perfectly understandable. I can ask 3 to give me a different designation, if you like."
"That won't work." She said, shaking her head. "You. . integrated Twelve, remember? That's what . . one of me realized, back when I wanted to be useful. It's not just the designation, or the integration, or. . ."
She shook her head again, and trailed off, then took off your helmet.
"I-I just need to get this out of my system." She said, and pulled herself closer to you, her cybernetic eyes meeting yours, and then she kissed you, eyes closed, leaning into your bulky frame. She breathed deeply, as if trying to breathe you in... and then she stepped away.
"After the Emperors are done. . I'm leaving." She said. "There are things I need to do."

>>20226247
"...Well you know we'll always have a place for you."

rolled 35 = 35

>>20226247
okay, I understand

>>20226247
If you're sure...keep in touch, all right?

>>20226247
But, but... Spine buddies!

>>20226271
>>20226277
Both are good.

>>20226247
Make sure we record it from three angles so we can give it to Amy later.

>>20226247
You're always welcome to come back and I understand why you are leaving even though I don't want you to go.

I'll miss you, call if you ever need anything, anything at all.

Then give her a kiss and a deep hug.

>>20226247
I'll miss you, Azure.

"You know we'll always have a place for you." You say, and she nods. "If you're sure. . keep in touch, alright?"
She looked downward, her hair covering her face, and said nothing.
As you wait there, it starts to get more and more awkward as time goes on, with neither you nor her speaking or moving. .
"Thank you, Dave." She said, without any inflection to her voice. "I will keep that in mind."
She turned around, and walked out of the room.

>>20226371
<Amy, did I just screw up horribly or is this the best outcome I could have gotten?>

>>20226371
Ruffle her hair as we go back to the bridge. "If all else fails, you can live in my spine. I'll always keep a space for you."

>>20226371
She wants to fuck.

rolled 23 = 23

>>20226371
back to the bridge, take a big swig of the 'tea'.

"dammit why do I keep doing that"

put it down somewhere, then pick it up absentmindedly later.

well, ladies and gents. as soon as this gets set up it becomes a waiting game. who's up for some future-craft or maybe <dramatic pause> settlers of Cattan?

have the ship synth up a board and play...

>>20226464
oh that makes sense, she got a whiff of the tea. That's why she's acting wierd.

You take a big swig of the 'tea', splutter again.
"Damnit, why do I keep doing that." You mumble.
<Amy, did I just screw up horribly or is this the best outcome I could have gotten?>
<Uh. . Dave.> Amy responded. <. . Are you drunk?>
You quickly assess your own frame of mind, and then look down to the 'tea'. Yes. Yes you are drunk.
<Yes. Yes I am drunk.> You say. <Damnit, I should stop drinking the swamp brew.>
<. .One second, let me come down.> Amy said, and she came through the door. <What happened?>

>>20226503
Give her the picture. In three angles. Then explain while she's spluttering.

>>20226503
You weren't watching? Man you could have had your own three different camera angles.

also, how does swamp brew even work if we're a robot spine?

>>20226503
Can we explain stuff coherently while drunk? Just send her the memory of the whole thing from the bullfrog.

>>20226536
Magic!

>>20226503
If I try to explain using words I'll just bugger it up, and take this drink away from me. Why the hell am I drinking it?

Send her the memories of our talk with Azure.

>>20226536
The SCIENCE particles in the tea trigger the drunk-simulation program we wrote to run without us realising it.

rolled 99 = 99

>>20226546
>>20226536

perhaps the Brew' is the only thing that can get us truly drunk...robo spine or not...

>>20226536
the whole event please, not just the kiss...

>>20226503
"Here, drink some of this."

Should we really breech Azure's confidence by telling amy? Maybe it's better if she just figures it out.

>>20226583
We have a direct mental link. We have trouble keeping any secrets. Especially while drunk.

>>20226536
It works because it is beyond our understanding.

>>20226583
Don't tell Amy to drink it, we need at least one of us to be sober.

>>20226536
>IT IS BEYOND YOUR UNDERSTANDING
>Actually, your brain is 100% intact right now. Among other things, it means you can dream, get drugged, and get drunk, until you activate the nervous-system shut off.

<Well, uh. . > You say. .and then you give up on explaining anything coherently. Instead you just send her the video and memory of the whole thing. You start to take yet another sip. . and then just set it down, as she watches your memories.

"Oh." Amy said, opening her eyes, and frowned. "She's leaving? Do you have any idea where?"

>>20226583
Did she really tell us anything confidential?

>>20226622
"No, but try some of this tea."

>>20226622
Not a single clue, she says there are things she needed to do.

Could you go talk to her, it'll probably be less awkward than me doing it.

>>20226622
"Nope."
Send her the video footage
"heh. Now we're even."

>>20226622
Nope. It makes me sad.

>>20226622
Just away from me, probably. Must be pretty awkward to be hard-wired to love someone who's already taken.

>>20226647
"But damn if 1-ship-2 isn't fine."

rolled 4 = 4

>>20226622
no, and I wont ask her either. she might come back in a year or a thousand. or go to live with the AIs, she's sapient it's her deal.

and if she comes back she might be crazy or sane or want to live in my spine again. I'll take it as it comes.

in either case we have a planet to save, and shit to do."

then
>>20226464
sans the tea bit again...

>>20226622
"Nah. She didn't say. I didn't keep anything out of that, any way."

<Hey Azure, you know if you kill Amy there'll be nothing in your way...>

"Just away from me, probably. Must be pretty awkward to be hard-wired to love someone who's already taken." You mumble. "But she didn't say."
"Hopefully she'll come back." Amy said, and sniffed at the cup. "What *is* this?" She asked, and took a sip, and then coughed. "Oh, god, Dave. You sure this stuff won't kill you?"

>>20226761
"Not me. You should be careful with it though. I bet you're a lightweight. Heh."

>>20226761
"Not actually sure, but I don't think so. Maybe we could sell it?"

>>20226761
I already died once. It isn't nearly that bad.

>>20226761
No.

>>20226761
The squid gave me the recipe. If you can't trust squids, who can you trust?

rolled 16 = 16

>>20226761
I legitimately have no Idea...the space squid suggested it to me...

>>20226777
That's a good point. You've got to be able to at least trust squids, or what's the point in living?

>>20226761
I have no idea, a giant space squid gave me the recipe. He said it was tea. We probably shouldn't drink any more.

So what should we do while we're waiting for the world not to end? Play future craft, seduce Lucca, have kinky mechadendrite sex in space, get drunk? We've got all sorts of options.

"I legitimately have no idea." You say. "The space squid suggested it to me."
"Everything is with the satellites are automated. . so fuck it." Amy said, and upended the rest of the cup.

After that. . you only have a few moments of lucidity.
<Daaaave.> You remember Amy saying. <The deepscanner says this stuff is like incredibly, incredibly alchoholic. You corrupted me!>

You remember lying on one of the tables as Amy climbs atop you, kissing you repeatedly, her entire body blushing red.

You remember Lucca walking into the room while you were. . otherwise busy. You start to splutter and explain yourself when Amy speaks up.
"Join the party, Lucca." Amy said, leering.
What you remember after that. . .you'll keep to yourself.

You come to, Amy and Lucca cuddling, asleep, on a desk. You see part of your power suit disheveled and in a small pile on the floor. You don it all again, and will away the small headache you have.
"Sober now, bro?" Dani asked as you step out onto the bridge. "You three were *really* loud."

>>20226905
What.

>>20226905
"Sorry about that. That stuff is really strong."
See if there's any camera footage. Save it, then back it up at least twice.

>>20226905
"I don't think Amy had ever gotten drunk before."

>>20226905
I was drunk because I enjoyed being drunk, it's one of the perks of being me.

I think that the power of swamp brew has solved or created a problem in my life, though I advise against you trying it, it probably won't mesh well with your physiology.

So kiddo, want to learn how to make French Toast?

She had never gotten drunk before AND there was a feedback loop through the neural link as Dave got drunker.

>>20226905
"You should try this swamp brew stuff. It's pretty sweet."

>>20226905
Fuck yes, I knew we could trust the space squid. How he engineered that is beyond my understanding.

>>20226963
>beyond my understanding.
Exactly.

File: 1344386983433.jpg-(3 KB, 300x57, image.jpg)

rolled 58 = 58

>>20226905
yes, yes I am...

I forgot to turn off my glands before drinking alien 'Tea'...

azure used to handle that when she was renting my unused brain-space...

>>20226948
>I advise against you trying it, it probably won't mesh well with your physiology.
No no, she has extra-strong physiology so she needs extra-strong alcohol. She has like 10 livers or whatever. Her weird alien tongue may even mean she likes the taste. It's perfect, dude.

"I don't think Amy's ever gotten drunk before." You say. "And there were. . bullfrog feedback loops."
"Oh." Dani said, and started tickling the penguin chick. It started making a strange, squawking noise that sounded like it was laughing.
"I think the power of swamp brew has either solved or created a problem in my life."
"Why's it called swamp brew?"
"I. . uh. . don't know." You say.

Suddenly, Dani froze. And moaned, and arched her back. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head.
In the emperor's voice, she spoke.
"You have ten minutes." He said, through Dani. "Good luck, humanity."
Dani coughed, twice, and then took a deep breath, trembling.

>>20227039
"Welp. This is it. It either works or it doesn't."
Go cuddle with Amy and Lucca.

>>20227039
That has to be rather strange Sis but it looks like we've got work to do.

Start waking everyone up and getting them to battle stations, we've got to be alert for anything. The RKVs are dealt with but I doubt the Emperors are going to stop at just that.

>>20227039
<Azure, would you get on the horn to Three, let him know we've got 10 minutes till we know if this is gonna work or not?>

Go wake Amy & Lucca, "Wake up, my lovely ladies, it's go time."

>>20227039
"Shit. Here we go. Let's do this."

"Care for some tea, Dani?"

rolled 49 = 49

>>20227039
alright...

Rust, Azure, Phi, to the bridge to watch the fireworks...or the end of the human race as we know it...

rolled 17 = 17

first
>>20227089
then
>>20227055
>>20227062
nah let them sleep through it...the make-up sex will be FANTASTIC

>>20227039
<Apocalypse in 10 minutes, everyone. Say your prayers to whichever god resides over negative matter.>

rolled 91 = 91

>>20227122
you mean...anti-god...but, but he's a DICK

rolled 34 = 34

>>20227039
welp, "everyone...smoke em if you got em..."

"Shit." You say. "Here we go. Let's do this." You say, and run down to the fabrication room. Amy's already awake. She rubs at her eyes, and starts shaking lucca.
"This is it." You tell her.
"I'll get Lucca dressed." Amy said.

You run into the next room, where Delta and Rust salute. Phi's curled up on the table, waiting.
"It's go time." You say.
"Understood." Delta says.
<<Good luck.>> Phi says.

Finally, you go into the next room, where K and Azure are speaking in hushed tones.
"Are you ready to see the fireworks?" You ask.
They both look up.
"Fuck it, I might as well." K said.

<Apocalypse in ten minutes, everyone. Say your prayers to whichever god resides over negative matter.> You declare over the intercom.

Everyone meets up at the bridge, staring through the screen, at one of the many open wormholes, as they slowly spin. . .

And then pulse. and widen.
Amy hits a button, and the small satellites zap red, firing exotic matter into the wormholes. . .

Thirty-six streams of strange, unnatural light blast out of the wormholes, slowly coiling around the earth. . and then the wormholes slam shut, and everything feels. . heavy. Slow. Like the exact opposite of slipstream. .
And then it returns to normal, the streams of golden light calmly settling around the earth. Like motes of dust, it looks like.
You've won.

For now.

>>End of thread!
>>Sticking around to answer questions.
>>Also, my twitter is @futureexabyte and I fuck around on the IRC (#Exabyte on Rizon)

>>20227039
in our best Samuel L Jackson impersonation "Hold on to your butts!"

>>20227191
Planetary defence cyborg quest now?

>>20227191
Aww yus.

Time for the revenge attack. Let's hit them with an RKV made of negative matter.

>>20227191
Oh.

Negative mass's tongue in wormhole's butt.

>>20227222
We don't have enough negative matter. Or a fast enough drive to get the matter to relativistic speeds. Or a wormhole generator to aim it.
But you know, apart from that, good plan.

>>20227191
Huh, it actually worked. Might as well have a victory drink.

>>20227224
That's pretty much what we just did.

Polite sage for off topic

>>20227265
If you want to be polite, you can put "noko+sage" with no quotes in the email field, and it won't tell people you're doing it.

>>20227265
But the thread is already over...

>>20227279
He's a troll.

You guys didn't cause the apocalypse? Why, it only took you a single thread to fix it, even! I'm surprised. Pretty much everything worked out. But one thing is left unanswered.

Who was the Space Squid, truly?