IN ANCIENT LEGENDS, IN THE ANCIENT LAND OF MENOPAUSIA, WHERE CORRUPT BITCHES RULE THE WEAK WILLED MASSES. ONE MAN, ONE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT STEPS FORWARD AND SAYS 'NO'.WITNESS THE HEROIC TALE OF LOVE, REDEMPTION, BETRAYAL, SELF-DESTRUCTION, HOUSECLEANING, AND MARIACHI SINGING TESTICLES THAT IS......FERNANDO: THE WIFEBEATER!Our tale begins inside a mystical suburban town, at the corner of a 7/11, where a lowly Mexican patron begins his weekly job search. Believe it or not, THIS unremarkable brown skinned man is our hero."SENOR! HEY SENOR! I'LL MOW YOUR LAWN FOR A DOLLAR AND FIFTY CENTS...!", the immigrant explains to a walker-by."I'M TWELVE YEARS OLD!", says the little boy as he walks on by."I HAVE BALL-COONS AND WUMMY BEARS! I SELL THEM TO YOU CHEAP, MUCH CHEAPER THAN STORE-""LEARN ENGLISH!", the boy spouts out as he throws his Ipod at the lowly immigrant and storms off.The penniless man kneels down and examines the the electronic device with a frown."Ay dios mio, this is not even a week old. Why do kids today have such low respect for their possessions?"...On the back of the device, it reads 'MADE IT MEXICO'."Oh."
!The lowly but humble immigrant notices a rich looking white man walking by with a monocle and walking cane."HEY! SENOR! I COULD MAYBE CLEAN FOR YOU, REAL CHEAP!""N-No, that's all right...!", the man runs away in a panic.?"Now what was that all about?""IT'S THOSE GODDAMN WIVES OF THEIRS, AMIGO, GABU~"A talking Kangeroo in a sombrero and a poncho with the symbol of two hands pointing down at his groin painted on it speaks up to the humble Mexican frankly."THE WIVES? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SENOR MUFFSCRATCHER?""CHECK THIS OUT, MY BROWN EYED BROTHER", the Kangeroo hops it's way down the street at a couple of whimpy looking rich folks, "HEY, Y'ALL WANNA BUY SOME MAYONNAISE OR SOME SHIT, GABU?""W-WE CAN'T! IF WE DO ANY SHOPPING WITHOUT OUR WIVES AROUND, THEY'LL KILL US!", the weak looking men yell out."SEE, NIGGA, THESE MONKEYS BE 'FRAID DEY BITCHES. IT'S LIKE THAT FROM ALL AROUND HERE. I MEAN, LOOK AROUND THIS CITY, GABU""...", the man with no poncho gazes around the town idly.The city looks like a typical mishmash of cyberpunk/insanely impractical magical structures and architecture. From the neon-holographic-floating movie signs to the magical hue in the simple coloring of windows. It is a neat, clean, and very well-kept....Probably why the man can't find any work.
"I don't know what you're talking about, senor. It seems fine to me""THAT'S 'CAUSE YOU SEEING WHAT DEY WANTING YOU TO SEE. LOOK!", the talking Kangeroo hands the man a pair of tacos."HEY-EY-EY, DON'T MIND IF I DO, AMIGO!", the humble mexican begins to eat said tacos."NO, MANG, DON'T EAT THEM. USE THEM LIKE READING GLASSES""Eh? Can I still eat them after I do that?""NO, NIGGA, THAT'S MY LUNCH"The Mexican does what the talking Kangeroo tells him to do, and using they tacos as reading glasses-!The city's shape becomes one far more sinister! Feminist symbols pollute the air, male-centric degradation across the billboards and city streets become bright as day! The city's true colors reveal themselves, as being a haven for the servitude and domestication of men. A fate most would consider worse than death itself."...That's not right", says the once humble man with the bushy black mustache."WORST PART OF ALL? NOTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT IT, MANG", the Kangeroo says in a depressed voice, "WE SLAVES AND SHIT. BEING MANLY AND DOING THINGS WE WANNA DO? SHIT'S ILLEGAL DOG. WE HAVE TO SUBMIT TO THE RULE OF THE FEMALE OVERLORDS""That's awful!""AH, IT AIN'T SO BAD, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, GABU", says Senor Muffscratcher as he nudges the immigrant man, "IF YOU CATCH MY DRIFT, EH? EH?""I don't...?""EH...? EH....?!", the talking Kangeroo continues to jab the Mexican man."Senor, you keep jabbing me like that, I still don't get what you are getting at"
"I'm talking about masochism, nigga. Goddamn, get your shit together... Say, I haven't seen you around here before, are you new or somethin', GABU?""I come from foreign land, Senor. I trained inside a sacred margarita pub almost all of my life. I come to these lands to seek opportunity, but I fear my work is taken by... by...""BRAIN-WASHED RESPONSIBLE HUSBANDS?""It's no good for me, Senor. I have kids to feed", says the immigrated man in a depressed tone."You're married, Gabu?""Si si, here is my wife-", the grizzled Mexican man hands the talking Kangeroo a picture of his wife."Holy shit, she's beautiful, GABUUU!", the Kangeroo remarks at the picture of a beautiful brown girl."And here is my kids-", remarks the immigrant as he hands over a second photo.!"DAAAAAAAAAAAAMN, HOW DO YOU MANAGE TO WALK AROUND, AMIGO?""I manage, Amigo, I manage""With a wife that cute? Shit, I'd probably do the same thing, Gabu""I love them very much, Senor. But it looks like I'm going to have to face them tonight and tell them I came home empty...""Shit man, I'm sorry. If any work come my way, I'll send it over to you, okay?", the talking Kangeroo pats the man on the back.This simple meeting of a lowly Mexican immigrant and a talking Kangeroo might seem oddly inane and relatively uninteresting. But little did the two know they would become the legendary FERNANDO THE WIFEBEATER and his sidekick SENOR MUFFSCRATCHER!-End of Part 1-
You know, questions like...why can the Kangaroo talk, why has no one captured him, why is no one freaked out that a Kangaroo can talk rush to my mind. But there is one thing that just stands out above all: Goddamn it Bromont.
I don't know what I just read.Please continue.
I sense a disturbance in the force...could it be a BRO FUCKING MONT thread of /tg/?
You forgot the part where you're a VIRILE TWENTY-YEAR OLD ALPHA MALE.
-Part 2-Poor Fernando couldn't find a job the rest of the day, even with the combined help of his semi-racist Kangeroo sidekick. He would surely have to go home to his children and tell him his work remains undone and his wallet ever so empty.As Fernando walked down the dark and deserted alleyway, his mind became plagued with the dreadful state of the great city. The feminist hold over the city's male populace ensured he'd never work, but that's not what bothers him.It is to think, that a man's prideful status as a human being is being violated. That a guy should feel ashamed and degraded simply for being who they are. Nobody should ever feel ashamed but their character, let alone their gender.The female hold on the town would see to it that every child would grow up thinking women views were the correct and moral ones, not their own personal judgement. A truly dim and stagnate patriarchal society built on the interests of one gender alone, breeding nothing but laziness and bitchiness into every woman who encompasses it's values.This is no town for a man. Where has man gone, how did they travel down such a dark path...?If a man simply wishes to play video games at his convenience after a long day of work, is it not entitled? Is a man not right in his own facilities, his own state of mind?'Where have all the good men gone?' says the women of this city in their crass and undignified selfish guise. It is not where they have gone, merely the conception of what 'good' is.'Good' is a subjective term, to them it means 'Perfect', willing to adhere to their every demand like a wooden doll without a will of your own!Such misconceptions should not be the backbone of a city!"These are dark times indeed!", Fernando says in his deeply Mexican tone.
!Fernando's mighty mustache begins tingling as he stands at attention.Before Fernando finishes reciting to himself what to say to his family, a gang of street bitches begin to circulate around the unsuspecting Mexican in cheap, energy efficient, environment friendly Beatles!"HEEEEEY, TUBBY! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOOOOING?", a bitch with penciled on eyebrow chants out as she hops out of her car with her friends at her back."Senorita... Did somebody play a cruel joke on you? What happened to your face?", Fernando humbling turns to face the horde of malicious bitches."Eeeehhh...? What was that, fatso?", the bitch rings out in a threatening tone."Please, senorita. I did not mean to offend you!", the humble Mexican waves his hands in front of him, apologetically."Hohoho... Look at this beaner faggot! He sure looks like he's starred in a homo porno, doesn't he?", one of the background bitches cackles out like a hyena."El oh el, epic win, Britney!", a second background girl high fives the first."Ah... Senoritas, you should save the quick text thingies to the phones, no? Saying 'lol' out loud doesn't sound as good as you think it does", Fernando wags his finger at the crowd of bitches.!A beer bottle gets chucked past Fernando, splashing against the wall behind him at near mock speed!"Don't fuck with us, fat-ass! Just be a good little beaner and serve us up some tacos!"[] "Eh... Come on, senoritas... I have a family to go home to!"[] Offer them some fresh Oranges[] "Hey... Isn't it past your curfew? And aren't you too young to be drinking?"
>>20202671[x] Beat them like your dick.
You may proceed.
>>20202671[X] "Hey... Isn't it past your curfew? And aren't you too young to be drinking?"
[x] "Eh... Come on, senoritas... I have a family to go home to!"
[x] "Hey... Isn't it past your curfew? And aren't you too young to be drinking?"Gotta be the responsible,wise and strong father figure these poor poor trollops don't have.
[x] Offer them some fresh OrangesOur family is hungry, and we are MEXICANS
>>20202671Oranges. If we can sell a few our pockets won't be so empty!
>>20202760THIS! OH GOD THIS!
Eh... Come on, senoritas... I have a family to go home to!!>fuck year bromont
>>20202847There are very few people I wish would die in a fire. You, Landing Gear, are one of them.
>>20202232
[X] "Eh... Come on, senoritas... I have a family to go home to!">>20202663Pathetic.
>Bromont thread>on /tg/Is this fantasy?
>>20202969Caught in a landslide.
>>20202983no escape from reality?
>>20203000Open your eyes. Look up to the skies and see.
>>20203023I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy
>>20203035Because I'm easy come, easy go
>>20203044A little high, little low
you are awesome OP
>>20203054Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me, to me
>>20203069Momma... just killed a man. Put my gun against his head, pulled the trigger now he's dead.
As an actual *technical* mexican, I vaguely approve of this quest, provided it evolves past living a pitiful existence.
>>20203088Oh, and [X] Offer them some fresh Oranges
>>20202671[x] Offer those bitches oranges. Bitches love oranges... right?
>>20203086Mama, life had just begun. But now I've gone and thrown it all away
>>20203178Mamaaaaaaaaa OoooOoooo. Didn't mean to make you cry.
My god, Richter Bromont.I wasn't around to see your Katawa Shoujo threads, but I read them avidly. Even now, your name holds a kind of reverence to it.I am proud to participate in this thread.Now, [X] OFFER THOSE SENORITAS SOME ORANGES THEY WONT EVER FORGET, AMIGO
>>20203359Ah, KS and Bromont, two of the worst things to ever happen to /v/
"Hey... Isn't it past your curfew? And aren't you too young to be drinking?", the astute Mexican explains with a raised eyebrow."We'll drink and party whenever the fuck we WANT to, right girls!?", the alpha bitch cheers on for the sheep to follow."""YEAH!""""You know, if we beat your ass right now, you wouldn't be able to do anything, right?", the girl with the penciled in eyebrows remarks with a smirk."Heeey... now, ladies, I don't want no trouble!""No one care, you know, if some stupid beaner was found dead on the side of the road!""I'm serious now, I don't want no trabble, senorita""Too bad, faggot, cause trouble's FOUND YOU-!"The girl throws a rock at Fernando as strongly as she through the beer bottle!!The rock strikes Fernando across his forehead, blood gushing everywhere from impact, and sending him down to the ground in a mess."GAH!", the poor Mexican grabs his head in a flurry."HAHAHA, TAKE THAT, BEANER!", the broad turns around to the person still in the cheap car, "HEY ANTHONY, GET OUT THE CAR AND LAUGH YOU PRICKLE DICKED FUCK!"
A boy weakly hops outside the car those bitches were hurdled in before, he's covered in bruises, cuts, and cigar burns."...H-...H-Hah?", the boy weakly laughs, knowing the girls would injure him further if he didn't comply."LOUDER, YOU LITTLE SHIT!", the alpha bitch grabs the boy by the hair and shakes him violently."P-PLEASE! YOU'RE HURTING ME!""THAT'S NOT LAUGHING, DUMBASS!", the girl yanks out some of the boy's hair painfully, "LAUGH! LAUGH!""...Yaru...", the silent Mexican man's voice speaks in a growl."HUH? YOU DIDN'T LEARN YOUR LESSON, YET? TCH, IDIOT...""What is wrong with you, senorita? He is but a boy, why do you insult him so?""Why? Why shouldn't I? The faggot is lucky we even keep him around. He exists solely to buy us shit and get his shit stomped! Like the faggot he is! If he doesn't like it, maybe he should be a man and stand up for himself!""But if he does that, you'll swarm him and beat the tar out of him!""Pffffft, bwahahaha. God, you're such a beta!""Please stop! You shouldn't treat others with such disrespect!""Shut up! You don't know me!", the girl spits in the Mexican's direction."Upbringing doesn't have anything to do with being disrespectful. It is you yourself, who are responsible for your own behavior! Surely at this age, you realize you're being too mean to the poor boy-!""Huhuhu, you hear that, Tony?", the girl with the penciled in eyebrows yanks the poor boy around, "He thinks you're a person! Isn't that just fucking creepy? Look at him!""A-Ah!", the boy yelps out in pain.
The surrounding bitches all point to you and begin laughing."Look at you! You're a smelly old man, with a fat shit gut and a homo mustache! I bet you can't even pay for your own clothes! Go die in a ditch and rid us of your stupidity""I see...""Eh? You see? Hahaha, that's fucking rich, what do you see?""I see I cannot talk to you, senorita. You've got the mind of a spoiled girl""Well, good! I'm done talking anyway", the girl turns to the mob, "Let's beat this fucker up!""I don't want any trabble, senorita-"!The mob of bitches pounce on the unsuspecting Mexican within a matter of seconds. There is no escape, no hope of survival, only despair and indignity.But that's wrong.That's very much so wrong.A bunch of bitches who weren't taught any better stepping out of line?There's a way to fix that, a way to even the odds, to become more than just a doormat...Masculinity is a subjective term only necessary in times where men were needed for other's survival. It is only used now as a feminist term to corrupt the ideals of men who know no better, men who put vagina on a pedestal instead of working side-by-side with it.Being a 'man' means nothing.Being a wifebeater... means everything!
!The lead bitches hands go sifting through an after image of Fernando as he disappears and reappears behind the assaulting bitches with his arms crossed."E-EH?! IMPOSSIBLE!""...""B-BUT HOW?!""I am...", the legendary wife-beater is born, "The backhand that tap-dances in the night-!""GET HIM!", the horde of bitches close in around Fernando.-HOKUTO BITCH SLAP SECRET ART: BOOTY SMACKER BACKHAND PACKER!-!It is an unbelievable technique. Fernando's backhand moves at an incredible rate, at a truly ferocious power!-SMACK-With the swing of one mighty backhand, Fernando smashes the asses of girls in one long succession, sending them flying at unrealistic speeds and heights."AH!" "OH!" "AAAAHHHHH!"They scream, one by one, as Fernando tells them one by one.-HOKUTO BITCH SLAP SECRET ART: TITTY SMASHER FACE GRABBER!-!Fernando slaps a pairs of titties so hard they smash their way into a girl's face and breaks both the titties and the girl's face... But namely the titties.His unrelenting bitch slapping massacre continues onward unstoppably......Until only the lead bitch with the penciled in eyebrows is left.
but sometimes i wish i had never been born at allll
>>20203086>pulled the trigger now hes dead>the trigger>pulled my triggerits "my" asshole
"B-BASTARD!", she flicks out a switchblade knife, "GO TO HELL!""That's where I got my tan, puta"-HOKUTO BITCH SLAP SECRET ART: ULTIMATE PLATINUM SPECTRAL REALITY SMASHER-!Fernando simply punches the girl in her face, busting her nose in the process."OW!", the girl grabs her bleeding nose tightly and speaks with her nose clamped, "YOU CWAN'T HIT ME! I'M A GWIRL!""Then I shall simply make you a woman!"!Fernando proceeds to punch the girl at rapid speed-"OLAYOLAYOLAYOLAYOLAYOLAYOLAYOLAYOLAYOLAYOLAYOLAYOLAYOLAYOLAYOLAYOLAYOLAYOLAYOLAY ODALAY!"-And beats the girl within an inch of her life with magical taco symbols flying everywhere."Gracious! Senor! You've saved my life and told those bitches what for!", the boy thanks you as you finish up on the girl."It was the least I could do little one, you needn't fear these bitches any more", the legendary Mexican stands at attention, pats the boy on the head, and begins to head off."SENOR! SENOR! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?""To do the only thing I am trained to, amigo. Beat selfish women to save this entire city!"On this day, Fernando would accept his unnatural gift of being gifted with beating women, and use it for the betterment of humanity.He would beat Menopausia's wives to save their men, and become the hero Menopausia deserves at the cost of being labeled a villain.Never forget, the origin of Fernando: The Legendary Wifebeater.
>>20203519What about your asshole?
>>20203519Huh took 35 minutes before someone pointed it out.New record.
>>20203558just got on >>20203489he is also early on his part
Sorry, I started writing when I saw the last option winning.But Oranges won that one, my mistake.
Wow. The actual *technical* mexican is in awe.
>>20203572Ah that's fine then, I won't count it in that case.
"OLAYOLAYOLAYOLAYOLAYOLAYOLAYOLAYOLAYOLAYOLAYOLAYOLAYOLAYOLAYOLAYOLAYOLAYOLAYOLAY ODALAY!"YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS MY SIDES HAVE REACHED ORBIT. Have a brown elf girl for your work, Jimmy Jeems. Who's awesome? You're awesome.Also, as much as we wanted oranges, I am more than ok with this out come as well.
>-HOKUTO BITCH SLAP SECRET ART: TITTY SMASHER FACE GRABBER!-Violet I know that's you, take off that sombrero. You're a COLOR, not a mexican. Madness city doesn't even have such extreme gender roles, considering its filled with monstergirls.
>>20202661>a truly patriarchal societyNigga wat.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipy1ZJQeUcsThemesong.
