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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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ITT: Those times we feel like NPCs in someone else's game.

>I am a humble clerk at the local convenience shoppe.
>On a fairly typical day, in walks a massive man. 6'7" at least, and not skinny by any definition.
>He finds what he wants and comes to the counter. I ring it all up as normal, there's a little small talk, and I give him his change.
>He rustles through the small pile of change, picking out the pennies and dropping them one by one into the penny cup.
>As he does this, he says in a completely serious tone, "Pennies are like niggers. They're worthless."
>I laugh a little, but mostly look dumbstruck.
>Turns to walk out, but halfway to the door looks over his shoulder at me, grinning.
>"Oh yeah, I'm old school."
>He walks out.

Not the best story ever, but I feel like I met someone's That Guy that day.
I tried to think of a story, OP, I really did, but I'm the only person in my group of friends and work associates that isn't just passive when it comes to the world and others in it.
I was working in the video game section at Toys 'R' Us a couple years ago, and I was minding the register when what appeared to be a PC from an awful game of Naruto walked in.

He looked about seventeen, pimply-faced and bright eyed, with the whole vest and headband getup on. He then proceeds to start trying to wander around the section. I keep an eye on him, because I already know I shouldn't trust this kid as far as I can throw him.

So finally he walks up to me at the register and just tries to start some small talk. And I'm like "who the fuck is this kid and what does he want."

And then I saw his hand sloooooowly sneaking towards the boxes of candy bars underneath the counter, and I give him a hard look, before telling him to get the fuck out of my store.

Don't fuck with NPCs with full ranks in perception, especially if you are a rogue wearing bright fucking orange.

It's not really a matter of being passive. It's a matter of someone else really standing out for some reason or another, or doing something so crazy or obnoxious it feels like a PC plan.

>Work at Wal-Mart in electronics
>In come Plague Bearer of Nurgle
>Smells like he has never showered, washed his clothes, or changed his underwear in his life
>Quickly move away cause I can feel the smell on my skin
>Guy keeps moving closer, leaning in uncomfortably close
>Tell him we don't have what he's looking for
>He leaves
>I finish my shift and start driving home
>Die of dysentery.
>Die of dysentery.
Gets me every time.
>drunk outside the club
>get sucker punched, KOed and robbed
>wake up and no one feels sorry for me

Fucking chaotic evil campaigns....
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>That one time when it seemed like I was a PC in a catch-22 inspired LARP campaign
>It was a weird time in my life

The ending was an anti-climax. A wonderful orgasmic anti-climax where I step on a bus and never returned.
I wish I could actually express how god awful that smell was.
I couldn't even be in the electronics department for 10 minutes without getting queasy while the smell lingered. I felt like I was about to throw up and couldn't even see straight.
We have some of those alcohol hand wipes for cleaning things, I used the last remaining couple to wipe down everything the guy touched, then poured the remaining alcohol over the counter to make it stop reeking.
>Be 16
>Back in my hometown for a week or two.
>Decide to head to the park and just hang out
>Sitting on a bench under the pavillion. Kids are playing in the playground, I'm just sitting at the other end of the park, looking out at the water
>Group of 3-5 people approach me
>Ask me what I'm here for
>"Nothing. Just enjoying the view"
>Tell me if I want to stay, I've got to buy something or leave
>"You serious? This is a park. There's kids right there."
>Guy pulls up his shirt to show bags of things I couldn't identify at the time, and the butt of a pistol
>"You gotta buy something if you wanna stay here."
>Blood turns ice cold. Was probably scared, but it felt more like being numb
>Stand up and walk off without saying anything
>Hear them all laughing as I make it back to my car.

That's the only story I have where something outlandish occurred involving me.
>Not buying a MacGuffin from wandering mystic salesman.
Whats wrong with you?
That Macguffin was drugs bro
>Not buying drugs
Do you not want to go on an adventure?
Next time get some boomers. $40 worth should get you an awesome trip.
>there I was, completely wasting
>out of work and down
>all inside it's so frustrating
>as I drift from town town to town
>feels as though nobody cares if I live or die
>so I might as well begin to put some action in my life

breaking the law, breaking the law
breaking the law, breaking the law
I have stories where I wonder if I'm a PC.
But no NPC stories.
D-do you want PC stories?
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don't be a pussy. Kill those niggers and drop their bodies and the pond.


Go away

Couldn't hurt. A story's a story. Long as they don't take over the thread.

It's been 5 years. I wonder if they'll still be there if I go back to that park. If they were, I'd probably just feel bad for them and drive on by.
>No quickly taking the gun and firing it at his feet while he cries like a faggot
>then looking at him and saying "You know the difference between justice and punishment?" and shooting him on the dick
>Be at coffee shop
>Sitting at bar writing
>Group of 4 people walk in
>Big guy and hot girl try and distract guy and girl working
>shortest scruffiest looking tries to steal tip jar
>4th guy sees me notice and gives me the shush sign
>I yell at them to stop.
>they get thrown out
>Their rogue sucked
I work at a movie theater. I generally work at night, and I generally sell tickets when I work. Due to the fact that I have a limited amount of things to say (Hi, how may I help you? X dollars. Enjoy your show!) I do start to feel like an unimportant shop NPC at times. But the other day I got to feel like a quest giver.

It's the first day of the new Spiderman movie and the shows have been selling out non-stop for the non-3D shows. There's one last show of the night that's been sold out for hours now, and we're twenty minutes from closing when a group of people come in.

A teenage girl wearing an immaculate Black Cat costume, a skinny male neckbeard and a guy wearing a Spiderman shirt come into the theater for that show. And as much as I want to sell them the tickets, I can't. I may have a soft spot for movie cosplayers when they show up, or fans who are just plain dedicated to movies, but it would be impossible for me to sell them the tickets that they want. And of the course they're all upset, because who wouldn't be.

So I called the same theater in our chain about ten minutes away and asked them about their movie times. In twenty minutes they've got a non-3D show and they haven't sold a single damn ticket. And that's when I hung up the phone and gave them their quest.

Go forth down yonder highway for ten minutes, continue further on your quest. We cannot help you here, but go forth and find what you seek, brave heroes.
>be at store to buy milk
>kid runs into me legs
>grab it by the shoulders
>" Child. You do not know what demons you have rustled! Be vigilant and grow strong or you will be lost."
>grab milk
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>Go to cinema to see spiderman with my girlfriend
>She's a total geek so we dress up as spider man and black cat as a joke
>Get to the cinema
>Clerk is a maniac
>Looks lustily at my girlfriend
>Refuses to sell us tickets
>Tells us 'Go forth down yonder highway for ten minutes, continue further on your quest. We cannot help you here, but go forth and find what you seek, brave heroes.'
Someone post the one with the 3 film noir characters meeting in a diner.
>if they were, i'm too big of a pussy to confront them anyway

fix'd that for ya, slugger
You were probably smelling his dried semen.
I mean in a not joking way, you probably were.
>get invited to movie by ridiculously hot geek girl friend who I'm in love with
>get there, find out I'm a third wheel for her and some clown who thinks wearing a spider-man shirt counts as 'dressing up'
>What's my costume? I'm the thug who killed uncle ben, bitch!
>clerk sees my gorgeous friend and starts frothing at the mouth
>still manages to tell us there's no tickets, then makes a phone call
>Tells us 'Go forth down yonder highway for ten minutes, continue further on your quest. We cannot help you here, but go forth and find what you seek, brave heroes.'
>spider-man shirt douchebag pisses and moans, doesn't even understand what the clerk just said

>confronting someone you know is armed and travels with a group (that may also be armed)
>confronting someone who would threaten a teenager's life in the presence of small children

Not the guy you were responding to, but you're an idiot if you confront them yourself instead of just calling the police
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Bumping for more stories.
>Get invited to go see spiderman with hot friend.
>Told to dress up. Wore spiderman t-shirt.
>Holy shit, she's in full costume.
>Roll with it.
>Douchey friend puts no effort into dress. He looks like some wannabe thug.
>Takes no initiative, I have to take the lead all the time.
>Get to ticket counter, he says there's no tickets.
>Says, 'Go forth down yonder highway for ten minutes, continue further on your quest. We cannot help you here, but go forth and find what you seek, brave heroes.'
>This guys is just fucking with us, clearly.
>Offer to take everyone somewhere else.
>Other guy won't shut up about "Quest".
>I just wanted a nice, normal night with a friend.

I thought it was the right thing to do. No lies, no whiteknightan, no goodjerkin. It was good of you, anon. And I salute you for that.
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>about to join some friends at the film
>suddenly three bikes revving next to a car dealer
>three guys armed with pistols coming my way
>slowly keep walking forward and stand still in the dark spot between the street lights
>stand still
>they don't see/notice me

Somewhere someone running a mafia game rolled a 1 for a spot check for witnesses.
>walking home from a party, past midnight
>hear car driving up behind me
>turn around, its a old convertible, looks 80's
>lights are off
>think that I'm going to be robbed, freeze up
>fear intensifies when I see driver, who is wearing sunglasses and a respirator over his face
>slows down as he passes, turns head abruptly after he is right next to me
>nearly shit my pants
>guy drives off into the night
You wouldn't fucking believe how may times lack of lamps and some trees saved my butt from groups of thugs and aggresive hobos.
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>I work at a factory/office complex
>Full time Go-fer
>Summer temp work fuck yeah
>Mostly just browse /tg/ until work shows up
>One day I'm sent to pick up lunch
>As I leave the office, I see what I could only describe as a heavily Deus Ex themed shadowrun party walk out of a sexy luxury car
>There's a very sexy chinese woman that is dressed like an escort, Chinese dress, hair in a bun, etc.
>Two Chinese men in sleek black suits and ties, hair slicked back
>One bald white guy with sunglasses in a suit
>The entire drive I was thinking of what adventures they go on

I later found out that they were the members of the Chinese division of the company that I'm working for sent to a company summit being held at my workplace. They looked more like a corporate espionage team.

This was my face
Once i was standing in line at the public library, like maybe five years ago, and this guy comes in. He's a black guy, about forty years old, short and thin but very ripped, and he's wearing a leather vest, one of those frilled American Indian style vests, with no other shirt. He's in jeans and cowboy boots, has a really ratty cowboy hat with alligator teeth around the band, and is wearing this giant silver crucifix around his neck on a heavy chain. He had a face like Danny Trejo. He walked past me and he had these glassy eyes that he just kept scanning the room with while he was glaring at everyone, and I thought, "Holy crap . . . I just saw a vampire hunter".
Wow, that guy's awesome! Reminds me of a story of my own, actually.
>work in supermarket
>see guy in his 40s in black dress shirt, black pants, steel-toe boots, weird style of wide-brimmed black hat.
>big grizzly beard
>shirt sleeves are rolled up, has an enormous decorated cross tattooed across his entire right forearm.
That motherfucker asked me where he could find garlic.
Sounds like you just encountered Bane
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When I was a kid there was this dude in my block who would always roll up in an old beast of a car (pictured) with his hands low on the steering wheel, so it looked like he wasn't holding anything from the outside. Or maybe he was controlling it with his mind, who knows.

Anyhow, the important part is that he looked exactly like how Jesus is commonly depicted. I sometimes feel sorry that I never got to interact with him. Who knows what wisdom he may have imparted on me.

Oh God... great.
>Invite friend to go see Spiderman, except he hates "comic books" but he likes me, so he resigns to it on the condition he can bring is friend (who I hate).
>I dress up as cat women to get him back
>Everyone gives me funny looks because of how tight my costume is, including the cinema clerk
>He tells us there are now tickets left but after a quick call to a nearby cinema, he tells us
> 'Go forth down yonder highway for ten minutes, continue further on your quest. We cannot help you here, but go forth and find what you seek, brave heroes.
>Probably thinks he's winning favour with me
>I give him a small smile and fuck off with my male friend in tow and his friend
>We decide to wait till tomorrow and go see it in the next town over to spite him

Wow, that sounds like something straight out of Shadowrun... Who the hell brings an escort to a company summit though?

that's what I was wondering.

Either those chinese men are horny as hell, or she just likes dressing like that. I mean, she looked FINE in that.
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>be gas station attendant
>guy drives his car up, prepays, fills his tank
>dressed in stereotypical indian clothes, feathers, moccasins, the whole 9 yards
>pasty motherfucker
>gets odd looks from truck full of hicks at next pump
>words are exchanged
>hicks get out of truck
>one has 2x4, one has tire iron
>chief burned-by-moon reaches into backseat
>hicks run back into truck, probably piss themselves, start driving away
>indian chases the truck to the intersection
>gets back in his car
>drives away

Pic related: my friends reactions when I tell the story of the man who chased a pick-up truck, brandishing a big-ass sword, dressed as a native american.
Okay, here goes. I swear every bit of this is fucking true.
Working in bar as dish washer, i come upstairs from the dish room all the time to hang with one of the cooks. I get upstairs, hanging with this guy and were just shooting the shit for like ten minutes when bang, ssome drunk throws a chair. Shit flew through the window of the kitchen. We both duck and I look to him like what the fuck?. He stands up, all calm and walks out of the kitchen. I did not know who this guy was behind that ratty apron.
So the cook walks out into the bar and I follow, scared out of my mind as people all over the room are fucking fighting. The cook, his name is Damien of all fucking things, takes a look around. He shouts for every one to "cut the fucking shit" and leans back on one leg kinda. I'm thinking this guy is about to get his ass beat. Then Yuki jumped up. Yuki is about fifty and mean as hell. Just and old mean drunk who lives at the bar.
Yuki jumps up and says to the whole room "you heard the man. Cut the crap!" I am still shitting my fucking pants by the kitchen. Well some guy takes a swing at Yuki's face. Yuki ducks that shit and returns with this crazy shout and a punch that floors the guy right out. Then Damien stepped into the mess. This cook is all rapid punches and high kicks! It's like an old school chop sockey flick out of no where!
I request the pick of the 3 related posts involving the 3 different accounts of a vastly similar hobo. I was on that thread but it 404d before i could save.
I'm like an NPC from a typical video game RPG. No one talks to me. Ever.
The fight breaks out in earnest, people swinging fists and chairs every where. I dart to the bar and get cornered by the waitresses station (that place between the two brass bars) and cower in fucking terror as someone goes to knock me the fuck out. Just before he hit me, I hear this scream, and Damien fucking boots this guys head hard enough to drop him. I look up at Damien and can't believe what he just did for me. We both hear a shout and look to my left, his right and theres some asshat, barstool on the air. Right before he can connect Yuki fucking drops this dude with a punch to the jaw. I couldn't fucking believe it. This went on for until the cops showed. Just me, in a bad spot, being protected by the old, drunken fighter Yuki, and the young monk Damien. That my friends is what happens when you're the sideline character in someone elses campaign!
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>going to my buddies old place of work
>was a seafood clerk for a local ma and pa grocery
>he walks in, this chick I knew from high school working there
>lusts for his dick, but hes engaged
>everyones stopping to talk to him
>"hey man you should come back and work as loss prevention"
>"well here's a start, how about that guy?"
>points to some scruffy looking guy with a big coat
>he sees us looking at him and starts walking towards the door
>we get outside and he's trying to get on a bike
>friend stops him
>"hey what's in your coat buddy?"
>"...nothin' man"
>friend starts reaching in his coat, pulling out steaks and bacon
>"fuck off man I'm having a party"
>"I don't give a fuck"
>"what's it to you anyways?"
>"I used to work here asshole, get the fuck out of here"
>he rides off into the night
To this day it's still surreal. He's known for his tall tales but he's never until then had a witness. Pic related, the bum.
my friend has a real problem with DnD, he only wants to play paladin as some one told him its the tank(he plays way too much vidya and refuses to do most social activities), he wanted to play dragon born on our first campaign as the dm brought it up and when we did try playing them he mostly dicked around as our dm was shitty, we dont play with him that much
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>On staff for a large party
>Be guard for host who is a close friend
>Guarding host from annoying people in the party
>3 guys walk up and ask to see host
>Tell them to leave after host says no to seeing them
>They get mad
>One guy rips off his shirt and wants to fight distracting me
>Other guy roll a natural 1 and fails his sneak attack, tackling one of his partners
>Shirtless guy throws a punch at me and breaks his hand on the masonry I was standing next to.
>Tackled guy pulls a knife and throws it on accident
>I catch it.
>They run off as fast as they can.
>mfw I'm the target of 3 complete fails on the PC's behalf.
>mfw the PCs must really hate their GM after that encounter.
>mfw they tried to jump me after the party TWICE more and stumbled over eachother on both occasions.
Not my story, I've read it once on White Wolf's forum.

>Live in New England
>Stop for gas in a small town
>Middle of the night
>Next to the station there's a freemason's lounge
>Hear chanting from the basement
>Get creeped out, want to bail ASAP
>Automatic station won't take his card
>Have to go inside to pay
>No clerk anywhere to be seen
>Find the clerk in the back room
>He's just donning his cultist robe
>Pay and get the hell out of dodge
>Little kid
>Too young for girls but too nice for the punks
>Become a "guard" for the girls club basically stand there while they gossip and sit on some of the logs left on the playground.
>Chaotic Evil Party of three males appear.
>I tell them they cannot pass.
>I engage them their party tries to flee, they eventually evade me.
>Week later
>Party shows up looking as if they have been level grinding
>I tell them they cannot pass.
>I am brought down by one blow from overleveled party leader
>Logs tossed over fence
>Club disbanded
>>waiting at townsquare for the buss, going to visit my sick grandpa
>>some sort of christian group is holding an event, they are kinda nice but their speaker is obnoxious as fuck
>>Holy shit that speaker girl just wont shut up
>>Whatever, the buss will be here in five minutes or so
>>Out of nowhere a hobo on a bike comes rolling in
>>Cursing like the fist of the north star he launches himself of his bike and at the speaker
>>Her church members intercept him while he waves his arms around and shouts insults at the speaker
>>I almost get knocked over as one of her church members runs past me and starts wrestling the hobo
>>hobo and church guy wrestle for a bit
>>someone in the back puts on some really sappy christian ballads to drown out the brawling noises
>>speaker girl starts preaching like there wasen't two people trying to kill each other at her feet.
>>Cops arrive and removes hobo from the premises.
>>My buss arrives.
Was this an IRL Boxcar Joe the Magic Hobo?
>Go forth down yonder highway for ten minutes, continue further on your quest. We cannot help you here, but go forth and find what you seek, brave heroes.
>Y-you too.
>sitting on couch at uni studying, it's late and there's like 5 people in the place

>bag on the floor at one of the couch, me on the other end

>guy walks up and sits down on the couch I am on, even though there is 3 others unoccupied

>I eye him off a little, shrug and go back to reading

>he's there for probably 5min before he gets up and walks quite fast towards the exit

>in his haste, bumps into a girl, doesn't apologise and just continues out of the library

>think "what an ass"

>girl walks over and sits down next to me

>by this time I'm wtfing

>she looks at me, smiles and hands me my wallet

>winks and says, "you should be more careful" and walks off

>Son of a-

I think I met a CN and a CG rogue
>walk into a convenience store 30 mins before closing time
>the clerk and a security guard are getting their asses handed to them a by a hobo-esque old man with a stick
>turn around and walk out
>Walking down an alley to get to my car coming home from work
>Some bum sitting nearby, not paying him any mind
>Notice a pair of cyclers on a two-seater bike
>Point at it and say to friend "Hey dude check out that bike"
>Hobo immediately jumps up, whips out a boxcutter and shouts "Stay away from me! I've been schizophrenic since the grade three!"
>Raise an eyebrow and go 'wtf' but just keep walking
Do you think people are homeless because they're insane assholes or is it being homeless that turns you into an insane asshole.
>Do you think people are homeless because they're insane assholes

Bingo. Not only can they not hold a job, but they've manage to piss off everyone who knows them to the point where they'd rather them die in the street than put up with their shit for one more minute.
>Working at a Walmart
>Lowly peon of a night shift stocker
>We have absolutely no loss prevention crew because the general manager is a fucking idiot
>We also have a no-touch policy when it comes to thieves because of some lawsuit, basically amounts to "IF WE CATCH HELL OVER SOMETHING YOU DID, YOU'RE FIRED"
>Working my ass off
>Hear the guy in the electronics section shout "HEY!"
>Peer around the corner of the aisle
>Nearly get my head taken off by fleeing thieves for my trouble
>Watch them continue to take off
>A giant of a customer steps in at the perfect moment, sees the dudes heading in his direction, and sidesteps to get out of their way...
>... But trips one of them, sending the thief slamming into the door and knocking his ass out on the concrete outside
>Laugh, mostly out of shock, and approach
>Giant guy is checking over the unconscious thief, just says "Get me a towel. Idiot's busted his head."
>Manager shows up a little later, calls the cops while we try to make sure the thief doesn't stain the ground too badly

And nothing of value was lost. Except the three thousand dollars the thieves managed to snag because the cashier in the back was in the middle of counting the till.

Mostly only true in developed countries.

In third world shitholes, sometimes your entire family lives on the street. Like, literally. Your day is a litany of begging and crossing roads while trying to dodge traffic (holding your youngest son in your arms all the while) and your night is a collation of the meager change you've scraped up, and also beating your children (with your youngest son, conveniently located in your arms).
>Walking from friend's house at about 2:00am
>Have to through my shitty town
>We bump into a small group of my friend's friends, who I have never met
>"Hey, do you two want to come with us? We'll probably need some help"
>Wat, but okay. They seem like nice guys.
>End up in the park, by a pond apparently waiting for some people
>A group of skinheads emerge from some nearby trees, all look very pissed off
>Me and my friend hang back a little in some shadows
>"You got it, then?" the one at the front says.
>"Yeah, here" my friend's friends says and produces what appear to be pretty big packets of cocaine
>The skinheads get more pissed off, claiming that it's weighed light and others chime in
>Shit is about to kick off, until they notice me and my friend
>They realise there is more of us than them
>They hand a bunch of money over and leave

We were just there to help with an intimidation save.
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>Live in a kinda run-down but usually really quiet and peaceful suburb
>Walking home after a night out with friends, around 2 or 3 am
>Streets are completely empty
>Suddenly hear sirens and engines
>Sounds are getting closer
>There comes over the turn a "pimped-out" car full of gypsies going really fast
>Police are in pursuit
>Notice the gypsies are leaning out of their car, cussing and throwing candy at the cop car
>mfw it all happened so fast

Turns out they went around breaking down kiosks and, finding no money, stole the stuff inside
holy shit someone drew the random encounter bike hobo
An decent gypsy knows that you don't throw candy you should throw doughnuts. They must have been level one gypsies.
Some homeless will also come from broken homes or be forced out by circumstances beyond their control. I've actually people who were forced out of their home by their mom because they got an abusive stepfather who told her he didn't want to live with more than two kids. In that case, the child was given up for adoption, but sometimes teenagers in particular are just forced out with only the clothes on their back. This isn't even counting drug addict parents, and horrible lolcow / "typical /v/ rage thread material" parents. The differences in people's lifestyles even within the same culture can be shocking.

Polite sage for off-topic.
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>mfw when you didn't scream at the top of your lungs STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM!
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Might not have found any donuts in the kiosks. Must have had an improv guy in the group.

On the subject of gypsies...

>Have a ridiculously thick Southern accent
>Go on a trip through Europe after a friend offered to take me along for the ride
>First night, first hotel, lose my key to our room
>Rage internally for a little while, realize that I should probably use this opportunity to get cigarettes
>Head to a gas station
>Acquire smokes
>Get asked for one by a guy outside
>Give him one
>He comments on my accent, asks where I'm from
>End up in a conversation about the places we've both been, get introduced to friends/family/??? that are with him
>Alcohol gets brought out
>Conversation takes a turn for the odd, end up teaching the group of them a cheap way to make mead with stuff you can find in a grocery store
>They teach me how to throw playing cards, cook some pretty tasty meals, etc
>Finally make it back to the hotel at dawn
>Friend asks where the fuck I've been
>Tell him all about it
>He tells me they were gypsies after I mimicked the way they talked, says I'm lucky to have made it out with my wallet

They seemed like pretty decent people to me.

Seconding this. I'd be a hobo this very second if it weren't for a very generous/understanding friend who is sponsoring my life on the whole presently until I can get some medical attention and a job.

Also polite sage for off-topic.
That's New England for you. He should be glad he didn't encounter the ancient evil they were summoning.
You never really know with gypsies. They sure make me feel like an NPC though.

>chilling in a beach
>suddenly two cars arrive
>2 gypsy families get out
>oh boy here we go
>they set up plastic tables on the sand
>somehow grab an insane amount of food from their cars (how the fuckers fit in there is beyond me)
>invite me and other people in the beach to eat and drink with them

Having fun times with gypsies is a big gamble, sometimes it will be like your story, and sometimes you'll just find everything of value you had missing afterwards.
Was at a food court once eating some delicious gyros when I saw a well-built black guy looking to be in his late 20s, wearing combat boots and pants, and a tactical vest of some sort over a T-shirt. Didn't see a gun.
We DO have an awful lot of bounty hunters in this town... My grandmother told me about a pair who liked to run around with SMGs and hand grenades.
bounty hunters? where are you located?
I was in Sacramento at the time. This is our most famous one- also the family bounty hunter.
> Waiting in the restaurant I worked at, a guy comes in wearing a trench coat - doesn't leave it at the door.
> Seems normal looking, short dark hair, clean shaven, fairly solidly built.
> Orders one starter, and some bread, leaves the trench coat over his chair.
> Old man sits down with him at his table, he looks surprised by this.
> Old man orders a main for both of them.
> Throw glances at their table for the next hour or so, they both have incredibly serious faces.
> It's getting pretty late - near closing time, they're one of 3 tables we're waiting for to go.
> Trench coat man asks for bill, old man leaves.
> Trench coat man leaves some cash, and leaves. Turns out he's paid about half the bill only.
> No-one else to serve, go outside to get him to pay the rest.
> Walk outside, three guys walking down the pavement towards trench coat man, who looks like he's seen them, and turned around to walk away hurriedly. He spots me, I spot him.
> "Sir, you haven't paid your bill completely, you still owe $20..."
> "Just wait there a moment... Don't look down." He puts a bill in my hand.
> Three guys walk by throwing glances at him. Trench coat guy waits about a minute, then says. "Alright, go back inside."
> He immediately sprints off opposite the three guys.
> I go back inside holding a $50, wondering what shit just went down.
>Hanging at pub
>Waiting outside with mates, about to head to the next one, just finished meal, couple of us smoking. The place is mostly empty, only sunset.
>Standing there and talking
>Car pulls up to building next door
>Has about six antennas too many
>Three musclebound blokes jump out, and a scrawny meth-head looking woman
>Three blokes all have revolvers strapped to their legs, and utility belts of what I assume is ammunition.
>Three walk up to the building next door to our bar
>Which is boarded up and abandoned
>Knocks on door
>Door opens from inside, three guys walk in quickly
>Methhead still standing nervously next to car in parking lot
>Two kids also in back seat
We high tailed it the fuck away from that bar.
>husband has a job
>housewife, stuck at home
>day literally revolves around waiting for him to come home

It's not like this anymore, though. Got a job now.
>I am 15 or so and at the schoolyard
>I hang out with a guy from my class
>we argue over shit and I make fun of his mom
>looks like I gone too far and he goes aggro and grapples
>me and punches me in my face for 1 or one and a half
>minute he rolls critical failure for attack and breaks his
>hand on my skull
>Stopped at a 4-way intersection
>HIGH SPEED PURSUIT coming up on the left heading towards my right.
>The side to my right just got a green light.
>The red truck on the left tries to curve to its right suddenly and manages to clip a black truck.
>The tail-light from the black truck flew across the intersection and spiderwebbed the windshield next to the guy I was waiting with.
>He was talking on his cell phone previously.
>I had my windows rolled down and I heard him say "I'll have to call you back."
>I was on the news.
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I have a friend that's basically a GURPS PC. He's a small and revolting man who still gets all the ladies and he steals everything not nailed down, never getting caught.
Basically, the dude's a kleptomaniac Larry Laffer.
>About to start the programming class, teacher walks in.
>Ten minutes in, my black friend, complete with chest length dreads, says he'll "go to the bathroom".
>Two hours later, with about ten minutes left, he comes in again.
>The teacher asks where he's been, and he says to the bathroom.
>"For two hours?"
>"I'm bone dry."
This wasn't the first case either. He somehow scrapped a B though, which surprises me to this day.
>alone in my house at uni. Lying in bed after getting up.
>hear a knock on the door
>not expecting anyone or any packages
>Throw on shirt and shorts, open door
>Tall man with long hair, vest, combat boots, and sunglasses is there.Similarly dressed man behind him at bottom of stoop.
>Asks "Is Fred here?"
>No Fred lives here, never has been.
>He looks at me as if I'm lying "Are you sure there is no Fred here?"
>His friend looks agitated, guy takes a step forward.
>"This is 37 anon street, right?"
>"No, this is 33. 37 is over there."
>"Sorry, my bad."
>Not sure if I assisted some PCs or the BBEG
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This is why I'm Second Amendment.
I fail to see how having a gun of your own would have resolved that situation any better
You don't see how having a gun protects you from being threatened with a gun?
yes, I don't see how showing 3 armed thugs that you also have a gun they're all going to agree that they are wrong and all 3 will back off. If anything, it's going to escalate the situation
It doesn't protect you. It just lets you threaten others with your gun.
Enjoy getting robbed because a thug bought a saturday night special, then, I guess?

People aren't zerglings. They see a gun they don't go "well there's three of us!" they go "holy shit I'm going to get shot."
>on my university campus
>it's fucking early in the morning, and the lake on the grounds has belched up the thickest fog I've ever seen all over the place, can't see more than 10 feet ahead of me
>Out of the mist 5 figures stride out
>Two of them are wearing armour and are fucking huge
>One's dressed up in a cloak and pointy hat
>the other two are in sort of old fashioney clothes
>pointed hat asks me which way he must go to find the elven kingdom of the meeting hall
>I nervously give him directions
>He bids me good day and the party once more is swallowed up by the mist
>stood there for a while, completely mistified

and then I remembered there was a Lord of the rings convention on.
>working restaurant
>chilling with bartender
>asian guy we've never seen before in full on slicked hair w/ suit, reading a newspaper & drinking come sort of sweet citrusy mixed drink (i remember thinking he was a pussy at first glance)
>rowdy group of mexican punks, we'll call their leader "Holmes" because he talked like some gang wannabe
>some of the local mexican workers we're friends with shooting dirty looks at the punks
>bartender (grizzled old dude) refuses to serve the punks due to several of them being shitfaced
>"yo holmes better gimme a shot mang if you know what's good for you yeah?"
>bartender motions me back into kitchen "get the fuck out before I call the cops"
>punkass palms out a knife under the counter, I'm about to yell something
>asian dude just sweeps over, grabs holmes' wrist, and chops him in the throat HARD
>he topples over, dropping the knife and we can hear him gurgling
>bartender sweeps out a shotgun from under the bar and sneers "not repeating myself"
>other workers mad as shit, grab punks and literally throw them out
>life around oakland

that bartender had some fucking stories man, but we never saw the asian dude again. to this day i still wonder.
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Every year, my high school band class got a day off to travel to the school a few towns over for a big competition.
>we get there, I'm walking around getting a feel for the place
>guy stomps up to me
>storms off
>older gentleman I'm assuming was his conductor hurries up
>"I'm sorry, he's an exchange student. From Pluto."
>never see either of them again

I spent the first six months post-Katrina and around 3 months post-DH down in New Orleans, working gigs doing construction as, well, I had an alright job but contracting makes some dosh, I like the city, and pussy grows on trees.

Down in Little Saigon helping a crew do some work down in that area, getting logistics up and running.

Driving around about 80 grand worth of equipment in a rented box truck, and of course get jumped at the One Working Gas Station I Could Find.

Late night, three thugs, guns on me.

My crew-supplied gun (which I never fucking touched or really looked at thinking I'll never need it or the license for it) tucked safely away in the underseat space.

I hear the sound of revving small CC engines.

Five guys dressed like VC (full black body suits) zip by.

Oh fuck me.

About three minutes later I've got a 12 gauge in my back against the side of the car.

Sounds of conflict on the other side of the truck, gunfire, then the shotty is off my back.

I get knocked the fuck out.

I wake up after a few seconds, head is ringing, and an old Asian dude is smiling crookedly with an ice pack on my head.



"Bad neighborhood"

All of my shit is where it should be, and they go off into the night.

Fucking ninjas.

Got other NOLA stories, but during that time it was all fucked up.
How's your head?
I'm down to read more of your NOLA stories, anon. I've got chores to do, and it'd be a nice treat to come back and read some mor ekickassery.

It's alright.

The crews who were working on the cleanup after Katrina were the strangest mixture of batshit crazy and utterly brilliant individuals. You had guys coming in from Mexico illegally to work for no other reason that they felt bad for the people down there.

They lived in squalor, but when they came with us into some of those gut jobs they would always look the saddest of all of us. I think it was because, where we did a lot of our work was in the type of poor neighborhoods that are endemic to the world of abject poverty.

One of the guys who worked on the crew was Jorge. Jacked up Mexican, great attitude, and spoke broken English. I speak enough Spanish to get by (buddy used to have a place down in DF, little farm we would go to, so I picked it up), and so we would have conversations about horses, farming, family. He had two kids back at home, and hated being away, but when an illegal can sack away 25x a normal working man's salary in his own country to come in and do the gig? Shit, it was to be expected that he went.

The guys in the crew would talk about coming over, and Jorge had snuck in with some of his boys from Monterey, hitched on with a crew out of Galveston after going through Laredo to Corpus Christie, and came to New Orleans.

Racist pricks who don't work with Mexicans consider them lazy. The problem is that you don't understand how hard those fuckers work when they are working. I saw guys who would be considered the 98 pound weakling lifting loads that most of the guys I worked with would wince at. While I was hired to handle logistics that meant you did logistics, computers, and when not busy helped the crews because otherwise you were a complete faggot.

But then the Mexicans liked this pasty neckbeard white boy and decided to take him out on the town...

I have never gotten more fucked up in my life. We went out on the town, hitting what was open in the area around our housing. We did it up right, and Jorge was the fucking life of the party.

We came into a bar that was serving po boys. During that time seafood was a dodgy business, and the prices were relatively high due to the risk, but the guys wanted to try the shit out. Tiny little Asian foodtruck, and the whole crew was yammering.

Then Jorge starts talking. Quick chatting, surprising all of the guys working the truck. Apparently he knew Japanese... I noted it, and figured I'd deal with it later.

We ate (some of the best fries I have had, some free beers from the truck's 'special stores' after Jorge said we'd come over and check out some damage to their house which was further inland) and started heading home.

It was about a mile and a half walk, and we got caught up in a group of people fighting it out over some chick. One of the crew's workers starts mouthing off, calls Jorge a faggot for getting into it...

And then he just fucking exploded.

Jorge fought like a beast. We're talking full on wolverine shit. Beatings that will echo in eternity were delivered on that guy, and the group broke up as we dragged him off the twitching body of the guy.

We reported to our crew leader, who went to check on it. Jorge and I sat around and he explained what had happened.

Jorge had been a relatively notable but not horribly famous Mexican wrestler. He spent five years in Japan during his early 20s wrestling for one of the big outfits, and knew a lot of Japanese wrestlers who used Mexico as their sort of training grounds.

He left Japan under some rough circumstances, had anger issues, and almost killed some guy in the ring. He worked for various groups, got locked up for 6 years, and lost his passport.

But the dude came to New Orleans to help out because he felt he needed to help his fellow men.

He bounced before the cops got there. The guy was beat all to shit, but with the wonderful response time of NOLA police at the best of times to the area (took 3 hours when my van got jacked... Got it back by paying off two guys to go 'find it' and running up on some crackheads) he was free and clear.

I always wonder what the fuck happened to him. But seriously, he was the most PC of individuals I have ever met.
Funny, apparently you don't think that when you see a gun. I realise most amateur gun lobbyists harbour Rambo fantasies. But consider that for every story of a robbery being stopped by a concealed-carry gunslinger, there're forty-odd stories of someone getting shot trying to pull a piece out while trying to "stand up to the mean ol' gangstas" or a child catching crossfire to the brain because the aforementioned Lone Ranger had a shaky aim. Somehow, in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, I'm disinclined to believe that handing guns out like candy corn on Halloween will even things out for the "good people."
>Working at a Liquor Store
>Dude comes up buys some condoms, tequila and some other bathroom essentials
>Suddenly an angered scream from behind
>Bigass Russian dude just fucking glaring at the guy.
>Dude turns sheet white finishes paying walks out of the store as calmly as he can Russian dude just dumps his shit on the girl he's with.
>Hear panicked screams outside
>Glass door through it the guys being chased by the Russian dude who's being chased by a twelve year old dual weilding pepper spray and a tazer who dived out of a car window when the chase started.
>Lose sight of them as they hop a fence.

Here's one from a buddy.

Working in a sex shop somewhere in the South... Wrapping up shop at 1:45, two people run in full wizard/witch regalia (it is July).

They proceed to go around to the sex toy section and browse, he tells them there's 15 minutes left before he's locking up.

They pick out two thick dildos, from the Colt line (giant black hardcore gay assrammers... Classy).

Lay down a lot of money.

He finishes closing up shop at 2:30 to find the Wizard outside being blown by a Witch while a guy in chain mail is working the dildoes into each of them.

ERP: Sometimes you gotta buy the +5 Black Rubber Cock.
>During some Neo-Nazi riots in the Czech Republic a few years back.
>They applied to the municipal government for a permit to demonstrate the Czech presence in Iraq.
>In the historic Jewish quarter.
>They're like "fuck you, we're Nazis anyway, we'll do what we like."
>City sets up for a massive battle between the fascists, the police, and the antifascists who are always looking for a fight with the right.
>I get asked by a few friends to help them guard their grandmother's shop in the jewish district.
>She's a Holocaust survivor.
>I'm standing around, cracking knuckles, trying to look tough (I'm like, 16 at the time), but there's no action. Demonstration/beatdown going on elsewhere.
>Bunch of guys come around the corner carrying broken planks. Maybe 5 of them or so. Big rough looking motherfuckers with tattoos and leather and bald heads.
>See us. Only people on the street. Suddenly realise, stupid idea, makes us the only interesting thing worth hitting.
>I get scared shitless, the others are gearing up for an inevitable fight.
>Grandma Rebekah steps out of the store with a fucking lumberman's axe and starts hurling insults that would curl your fucking chest hair.
>I mean, insult structures I have no idea how a devout little old 70-something Jewish woman would ever know.
>Fascists shocked by insane psycho-granny.
>Back off, go break things elsewhere.
>I realise she's obviously a retired adventurer. Got enough PC levels and ranks in Intimidate to ensure transcendence when she finally gets bored of Earth.

If someone has a knife out and trained on you: a gun will likely scare them, if they are not already close enough to stab you. If they ARE, it may easily scare them into stabbing you IMMEDIATELY. If they hit something vital, you're stuck shooting them while you bleed out, and then congratulations, two corpses. If, on the other hand, you had complied with their demands, both of you would still be alive.

If they are unarmed and you pull your gun: you will likely scare them off, but only because you have serious overkill by comparison.

If you pull a gun and they already have their gun out: they will shoot you and you will be dead.

If you pull a gun and they don't have their own weapon drawn: see "if they are unarmed and you pull your gun".

Adding another gun to a situation does not make the situation any safer. It just means someone is more likely to die. Soldiers don't carry guns to deter attackers. They carry them to kill people. A gun's function is not to protect. It is to kill.

Anyone ever see the old VHS Comeuppance?

Used to get passed around gun ranges, police stations, and the like.

Idiot kids decide to do the whole 'wreck some houses lolfun' bullshit.

Kids tape the whole thing, run across an old man in a house? One kid has a .22 tries some hardcase nonsense... And takes one to the leg?

Never did get the story behind it, apparently evidence in the trial.

It amounts to the will to fire. If you don't have it, you might as well just not carry. Most people don't, and criminals, when threatened, are gonna shoot ya.

More people get hurt letting their guns fall into the wrong hand.
>First job was working at a movie theater
>It's a pretty quiet town, nothing out of the ordinary for the first few months I worked there
>One day, a group of guys that look like they're in their 40's or 50's comes in
>One in a wheelchair, he has a blanket over his lap but doesn't appear to have any legs
>Second one has a pegleg with some amazingly detailed carvings around the top of it
>Third was pushing the wheelchair, had what looked like a burn scar running up his right arm that continued up into his sleeve
>Fourth had two parallel scars going from his right cheek to the middle of his forehead, clearly blind in one eye
>Ended up chatting with them about some recent movie while I got their popcorn and drinks

The pegleg guy came in a few more times while I worked there, over the course of two years or so, but I never saw the rest of them. They must have been retired PCs.


I always laugh at these people who think they're Han Solo or something. If you need your gun, and it isn't in your hand, it is as if you didn't have it. In fact, it's worse, because someone can take it, and then they have it out and ready.

If you know how to properly use a gun in real life, and you want to own one, it means you believe you need to kill something. Hunters, I can understand. Police, I can understand. Soldiers, I can understand. But armed civilians, carrying guns in urban or suburban environments, with the intent of using them in the event that they become the victim of a crime? That makes no goddamn sense to me.

What if you just enjoy the shooting range?

Okay, that makes sense. I actually do enjoy target shooting every now and then. Never use my own weapon, though; don't own one.

I meant more in terms of the people who cite "protection" as a reason.
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>Work as a cashier at Walmart's sporting goods back in 2007.
>Scraggy looking dude in his 50's walks in.
>Buys a bunch of silverware, some propane, and shotgun shells.
>Not immediately unusual, front end is usually crowded and never has enough cashiers.
>Near hunting season, ask him if/what he's hunting.
>'Something big.'
I'm a huge opponent against guns for civilians, but I realize that I fucking love guns. I love their feel, I love the sense of technological advancement to the point where you can point someone and take their entire existence from them, I love everything about them, yet I think they should be illegal.

It's a weird dissonance, Anon.

That reminds me:
>Living on Gulf Coast of MS when Katrina lands
>Day after wreckage everywhere, a boat in the middle of the high school football field, things like that
>People discovered millions of ways to rhyme "Loot" and "Shoot"
>Everyone with a gun is packing. Everyone.
>My little town, fearful of possible NOLA migrants and looters, forms a town watch to fill in where the cops can't.
>It's about 40 guys, all of whom pack heat, that go around the city patrolling.
>One of their patrols catch a black man, who looks uneducated, scared, and tired, trying to find his house, one that had been destroyed near the beach front property.
>One of the patrolmen accuse him of being a possible looter and that they should take him to the police just to be sure.
>My friend and I witness this scene from afar
>He walks up to them and reccomends that we try to find his supposed house first.
>All of us except for him knew that the entire road he lived on was destroyed
>We get there and find his slab clean, but there is a door
>He has a key that unlocks the door and starts crying.

And that's how my friend, who is a PC, rolled a high diplomacy check.

And speaking on your Mexicans: They are not lazy. I had already learned this before, but post-Katrina... Well, they're the entire reason the coast was restored within 3 months as opposed to 3 years. I've never seen a roof go up so fast in my life.
Nah, because if they illegalize guns then people will kill each other with knives.

They should just make killing illegal.
I live in Scandinavia. Guns are banned here.

(coincidentally, murder is rare as all hell, so go figure).
>Sitting on my car waiting for my sister to leave the mall
>Just sitting there.
>Guy comes out of nowhere armed with a bat hopping to and off the top of a nearby car
>Followed quickly by another man armed with a crowbar
>They go at it a few minutes guy with the bat trying to cut a hasty retreat running between the cars and occasionally taking swings at his pursuer .
>By this point I'm standing on my roof to get a better look
>Shit doesn't stop until some people come out of the mall and start going what the fuck
>Bat guy takes this as his cue to run like hell followed quickly by the crowbar guy
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Yeah, guns are also banned in Britain, who has one of the highest violent crime rates ever.

Shit has nothing to do with the legality of weapons. Other things cause it.

I live in Nola before and after the storm. Please tell more!

Because we consider make work important.

The Mexicans I worked with who pulled that crossing would bust ass and do three days of lazy fuck faggot work in 1 day... While still taking nice long breaks, shooting the shit, maybe slipping off to smoke a joint or take a slug of MD 20/20 or liquor out of a stash spot.

Also never had any assistant who could get shit done so quick. Had to rig a shitload of cabling, and had one 50 year old Mexican come up and ask what I was doing.

We got a 36 BH job done in 5, and most of it was just making the fucking cables. Spent the rest of the time getting dollar dances at some seedy club he liked, and laughing when he caught the clap from barebacking one of the girls.

Threw him the tab, the fuck, and 6 hours of pay at my rate, helped him pick out a couple of PCs to take home to the kids for school work.
United Kingdoms has about a fourth of the number of intentional homicides than the United States.
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So are you telling me that if the U.S. govmint took all the guns, we'll assume by magic because otherwise lol civil war 2, that the U.S. violent crime rate would drop dramatically?

We're assuming all other factors remain the same I guess, poverty, unemployment, health care, education system, etc.

Do you really believe that?
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The murrikan dream.
>Guns are banned in Britain
Uh... No they're not.

>Have one of the highest violent crime rates ever
Uh... No we don't...

You're full of crap.

It's true that the 'UK' (not britain) has the highest violent crime rates in Europe. If you take out Scotland and Northern Island, this number falls incredibly. If the Scots get independance, our crime rate will fall nicely. Same if we dropped northern island.

We also have a higher rate of crimes reported. Basically there's a larger number of unreported violent crimes in other European countries. This is a slightly speculative point, but I feel its valid.

Finally, guns are not banned. You can buy Shotguns and Pistols freely, as a member of a shooting club, and so long as you pass vigorous tests and medical checks. You can even go hunting with a gun. Just with the right permits etc...

Get some facts straight next time you type a message.
USA also has about six times the population of the UK.
I think the number of homicides would lessen by an incredible amount.
Also, gangs would be less problematic.

Why is that unrealistic?

(Not saying this is any way possible, since as you mentioned, it'd cripple a lot of gun stores, make people shoot up the government because "HURRWEAPONS!", and would never get passed).

It's homicides per 100.000 people, dipshit.

Unless you think having more people automatically means more homicides, in which case, China would like to have a talk with you.
Shit niggs, I managed to spell Ireland like a retard twice. That's my accent poking through into my typing.

A good example of how to undermine an intelligent post with retarded mistakes
>china would like a word with you

I imagine china are brilliantly transparent with all their statistics.
What about India? Lower murder rate too.
>(Not saying this is any way possible, since as you mentioned, it'd cripple a lot of gun stores, make people shoot up the government because "HURRWEAPONS!", and would never get passed).

TWO HUNDRED SEVENTY MILLION FIREARMS in the US. Enough to arm every single adult, with spares left over. And that's what the civilians have.

You cannot unfuck the virgin, you cannot re-bottle the genie. Firearms are THOUSAND YEAR OLD technology. Any shlub with half a machine shop and some knowhow can manufacture one. Afghani goatherds maintain fully automatic weapons using charcoal fires and iron age tools.

Learn to live with guns, or learn to die by them.

I used to go down by the riverboat landing to sit, smoke, and people watch when I had a little R&R... Working two weeks on and 4 days off wore me the fuck out. Go grab a muffaletta, some cold ones, the cops didn't seem to give a fuck.

So one of the Gold Men, who always claimed he was the 'original Gold Man', sitting down by the docks. Obvious junkie, fucked up beyond all recognition, hand him part of the sandwich (I mean, it can feed 8 fucking people and I'm more interested in watching it all).

The guy is eating the sandwich in one hand while waiting for tourists. He goes into his pose (football up, sandwich in the other hand) and two black dudes start laughing and the little one slaps away the sandwich.

Gold Man loses his shit, begins hitting the guy. Apparently they keep coins in various places, and this guy has a sock filled with pennies, nickels, and dimes wailing on the guy.

Everybody just starts to go the fuck away, cops are called, he attempts to claim nothing happened.

Of course, the other dude is covered in gold paint...

Saw a midget blowing that guy who walks around covered in talcum powder and schizotalking on his bike down about a block off the Quarter.

And then there were the forays into SF over NO.
To the first part: I know, you dumbass, that's why I said it's not feasible in the States.

To the second part come the fuck on. People can't figure out to plug in their computers, and they're all educated. You need technical knowledge to be able make guns, even if it's laughably little compared to what people like us know.

To the third part: they don't make those weapons, you dunce, they purchase them. With money made from drug trafficking.

I thought that was obvious.

To the last part: most of the world is doing just fine without civilians who have access to guns. Don't see many of them dying because of
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Yeah, about that...

Meet the Shotgun revolver. Taiwanese gangs make the things from spare parts and basic machining. They get confiscated along with a bunch of nastiness. Making homemade guns is not all that uncommon.

Been looking into them for the Zodiac Gangs Kungfu thread.

Taiwanese gangs confirmed for Orks
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Oh, plenty of other groups. You should look into some of the Chechen firearms too. Plenty of makeshifts... This one is one of the jankier I have seen.

Also, plenty of kids make zip guns in shop class just to do it. Lack of proofing round tests will make it a much more... Dicey situation, but they make them.
You need a highschool shop class and babby's first machine shop to make a nice gun.
If you have no skills except literacy, you need a internet manual and a trip to any hardware store in the world in order assemble a zipgun with homemade ammo.
You've never been to India have you? How about dealt with the indian court system?

Murders, violent crimes, etc... Just AREN'T reported. There no true way of finding decent accurate statistics for a large part of the country. While in the north, and certain other big cities, there's high technology, and everyone acts westernised and modern, there's still villages where they all share the public phone, and have to travel into town on self made motocycles to get anything more useful that the bare essentials.

But the only reason those people are safe is because they're less free than America. Americans are hated because of their freedoms, and so it's imperative that their citizens be armed.

This is true. In developing countries violence is a lot more 'in the family' than it is in the surveillance heavy western world. Especially since people tend to elevate personal conflict into blood feuds.
Americans always go on about how 'free' they are. Define freedom? I can do anything an American can. I can go to cuba if I want to. Americans can't fucking do that!

I was being facetious you asshat.
I have fun little story related to this

>Be on greek island on holiday (Kefalonia? I think)
>Forest fires daily, big problem
>Turns out its a fireman
>Instead of getting reported to police, his family kick him off the island and he's banned from returning
>not formally... but his parents just put him on a ferry for the mainland and told him not to come back.
Oh shit. Sorry Americans are terrible at sarcasm. In future can you surround any sarcastic remarks with air quotes if in person, or the '~' symbol if typed. This will allow us all to better understand what you are saying.
Oh shit, and inadvertently I dragged the thread back on topic

>Mfw thats a pretty badass PC backstory.
Did you just say "jankier"?

If that wasn't a typo; are you from Scotland?
If you aren't then where did you aquire that word?

>Believes slang is still regional

Been around for years in the US. Especially in geek circles who played MTG during the 90/00s.
Just wanted to confirm something, thanks.
PC story

>Go to convenience store.
>Buy some beer.
>On my way back home.
>Pass by an homeless guy.
>''Hey excuse me, do have like 15 cent man?''
>Give him the rest of my spare change, which was like 60 cent.
>''Hey thanks a lot man"
>You've gain karma and then the little pip-boy face showed up.

Then yesterday

>Go to a different convenience store
>There's a dumpster there for people to leave things like clothes and toys for the poor.
>See a young lady with a huge garbage bag full of clothes trying to put it in the dumpster.
>She's too small and struggling to lift it.
>''As i pass by''
>''Excuse me, could you help me?''
>You've gain karma and then the little pip-boy face showed up.

Not sure how much xp Ive got tough. maybe 10.
>Doing laundry at shady laundromat at 10PM.
>Sitting at tiny ass park-style bench, doing homework.
>Homeless guy approaches me, I ignore him.
>"Hey, check out my knife". He is pointing a good 6 inch knife at me.
>Realize there is no way I could possibly stand up in time to get out of the way thanks to shitty bench.
>Play it cool. Say "That's nice." and go back to doing homework.
>Homeless guy walks away.

Maybe he just really wanted to show me his knife.
Walking to work. Random guy comes up to me while waiting for a red light to change. I notice he is maybe 50, thin, wearing a long, frayed coat and having long white hair. Balding too. He then comes up to me and asks "do you like poetry?"
I'm all "hurrr wat"
Then he produces a nylon sleeve full of papers, and starts to take one out. "here, have one of my songs"
"N... no thanks..."

Still see the guy once in a while. Odd.

There was also the crazy woman, who ran down the streets screaming bloody murder. Apparently we are all smug dopplegangers who took over everyone, but she can see us for who we are, and one day we'll pay for our crimes. Picture a dungeons and dragons hag screaming about us paying the price for our sins, that's what it looked like.
>work in a rather large assembly plant
>i'm the newfag, probably one of the youngest person who works there
>walking down the hall when one man without an id badge walks up to me
>wearing a tweed jacket, horn rimmed glasses, and sweatervest
>"Pardon me, Sir", he asks, all prim and politely
>"How do I get the fuck out of here?" he continues, same exact fucking tone
>stumble over directions, he thanks me and walks out

it was just so jarring for this guy to just drop the f bomb.
I've been using it. A friend at college (Humboldt County, Northern California) introduced the word to me, and I adopted it because it seems quite excellent in communicating what it refers to.

I assumed it was a California thing.

My story:

>Walking down street in town near aforementioned college.
>Old guy who might have been homeless, but was certainly pretty scraggly and 50+. No smell though.
>Comes up to me and puts a hand on my shoulder. "Son, can you give me directions to APD?" [local deli.]
>"Sure, just- [directions]."
>Pats my shoulder. "Thanks. You're a good kid, you'll make it through what's coming."
I spent the rest of the day waiting for the apocalypse.
You know. I have to wonder if all these hobos who say stuff like that know something we don't.
Like some sort of terrifying UA conspiracy.

I think you just met the Doctor.
>Walking to club one night in march
>See two figures walking towards me and my friends
>They are both wearing suits, fedoras, and shades
>One of my friend asks them where they're headed
>They say they're on a mission from god
>I'm the only one who gets it

I know I've had some stories more interesting than this, but I can't remember them right now. I'd probably remember if I got drunk.
You can't see what's going on until you stop following the news.
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>Graduated college, moving out of the college city.
>About to make eight hour drive back home.
>Every drive home takes me through this tiny little town that looks rundown and haunted as fuck.
>Never see anybody in the town ever.
>Whenever I pass through, it's the middle of the day and everything is closed and looks like it has been for years.
>Decide to hang out in the town on the drive home.
>Get there around eight pm, already dark out.
>Everything is closed except for a bar.
>Go inside bar.
>About twenty hot women around twenty to thirty years old.
>Literally nobody else.

Clearly it had always been a town of vampires intended for a higher level party in an ERP game.
Tell me you left.

Yep. Got the hell out of there. I was in no way prepared for an adventure in the town of sexy vampires.
Didn't bother me much but my dog was terrified:
>walking dog
>see couple walking their dog in the distance
>get closer and see it's actually a pig
>my dog goes up and greets it
>when she finally notices it's not really a dog she starts freaking the fuck out and tries to run away
the pig is amazing, its owners take it to the dog exercise area in the park a lot and it's basically a walking existential nightmare for every dog it meets
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>just got back from meeting a girl
>going south
>she thought she was off "it"
>she wasn't
>finish up, see self in mirror
>mfw I'm a BBEG

>Using tilde for sarcasm/irony
>Not using ؟ like a superior being

I shiggy diggy
> Went to the gym today
> An old man, 70+ was there
> He was dressed in "old people's clothing"
> He could barely move from machine to machine
> He had the fucking eye of the tiger the few times I met his gaze
> He was still working out when I left

Can totally picture him as a war veteran who have become lazy the last ten or so years, but then suddenly his grand-daughter was kidnapped and now he has to get back in shape so he can kill the fuckers.
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I'm not sure if this is me as a PC or NPC.

> In Buttfuck Oregon, spending 4th of July with Grandpa
> At least I would be if he didn't stay inside the car all day after making sure we reserve a table right next to a bunch of already-drunk rednecks
> Granted everyone was redneck, and my aunt was hit on by a "lollipop guild impersonator"
> That's another story
> Anyways, decide to hang out on a train thing that was there
> A group of four kids are there too
> One of them was bleeding from his eyebrow and I stared a little
> This meant that we had to fight
> Continued to hang out there
> Kids kept trying to sneak up on me and attack or some shit
> The barbarian of the party constantly gave me menacing looks while punching the air, saying "I'm gonna pound your face"
> The bard (I think it was the one with the bleeding eyebrow) randomly decided to smalltalk me in an effort to distract me from them
> In line for popcorn
> One of those little fuckheads must have been an alchemist, since a bunch of firecrackers went off by my feet
>High school, senior year
>In class one day looking out the window.
>Middle of October, dry, seasonally cool.
>Suddenly starts snowing.
>Live in the US, Middle New Jersey
>It does not snow in October, ever.
>Class ends I'm walking around the halls, watching the snow outside
>See the principal talking to a man in a white suit and a woman in a light blue dress by the school entrance
>They wave to the principal and walk out into the snow.
>Next period, snow stops.
I went on a tour of Europe with a friend on a bus with 20 other people, we visited all sorts of places and countries. I'm sure I would of died out there if it wasn't for his dedication to learning languages. I've got a story from every place we visited, if you want I'll share them after I take the dog out.
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>Working a drive-thru Starbucks
>Last winter
>Borderline snow falling down
>Afternoon is pretty slow just cleaning up
>Get a ding and take the guys order
>As I'm making his drink I look over at him
>Bulky mother fucker in a tank top with blonde dreadlocks
>80s hair metal blasting
>In a convertible with the top down
>Has his heat cranked up to pull blast and its blowing his hair back in the wind
>Takes his coffee and speeds away
>Didn't even get to talk him

I wanted to know his secrets..
> Hanging out in San Francisco for one reason or another
> Just hanging out and shit
> See a guy with short red hair and a beard that was growing in, looked a little worn down
> Clothes were a little worn too
> Said he was from one of the middle states, and that he came to San Francisco to make his fortune
> Asked me and the person I was with where the beach was
> We told him it was a while away, past the piers
> He thanked us and walked off

He seemed like a simple guy, but also a really good one. Shame I don't know where he is or how he's doing.
Please do.
Not really a story, but any time I see someone lost or confused either in a part of town or in a store that I'm familiar with I try to give them directions. I like to think that I helped someone complete their own little quest that day.
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More of a self-PC story but here goes.

>Get home after a day of Uni.
>Apt kitchen is flooded.
>Sigh, go to bedroom to find landlord's number
>Open bedroom door
>Bunch of snakes slither away under the bed.
>Spend an hour catching snakes in a few inches of water.

What a weird fucking day that was.
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>My Big cousin's wedding
>Up back in our glorious home of Glasgow
>Get introduced to "uncle" Charlie
>He's not anyone's uncle, but we all call him that
>He's on our table, with my Dad and me
>I don't know anyone (I live down South now)
>Get talking to uncle Charlie, he tells me about his life
>He left school and his family, and became a traveling merchant
>Backpacked around Europe, buying and selling strange and unique items to people
>Eventually bought a farm and tried settling down with a woman somewhere in Eastern Europe
>He got into some trouble with some local bandits , the place is burned down, and his wife was gone afterwards
>He searches for a while, eventually gives up and starts his journey again
>Eventually makes some friends in the oil trade one day while in a bar
>He goes into their company, he eventually becomes the guy to handle all of their business deals because everyone loves him and his sexy accent, even if they don't understand a fucking word
>He becomes rich doing this for a couple of years
>Leaves and goes back to Scotland and opens up a Pub which he ran until retirement.

The man is just...touched by something. He oozed awesome.
Guy also gave me some advice with women which I got to try out that very night.
Managed to pull a 9/10 auburn haired Scottish lass....good times man.
As an eurofag, I'm interested in those stories. Ever been to Hungary?
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We shall start in France, where 2 of the weirdest months of my life began.

>We had just crossed the channel tunnel, I was 18 at the time having just finished sixth form, with me was my compadre and bro of my life, who we'll call D.
>D had no aptitude in science or maths, but that guy could pick up a language in months. Not perfect, but good enough make people think he was from out of town
>We had been planning this trip for 2 years and he spent that time learning the languages of the countries we'd visit, I spent it whacking off and reading.
>It cost about £1500 but it was worth it.
>With us were about 20 other people from all over the world, the ones who stuck with us on our adventure was an American, an Australian and two Koreans.
>I'm a big guy, runs in the family as my forefathers were brought to England to dig roads and canals, so a large body was needed, but the American made me look like a 15 year old.
>We arrived in France, our first stop was Lourdes for the history and spiritual reasons.
>The American, coming from the bible belt (What the fuck is that place?), knew pretty much nothing of the world outside
>We get to the Lourdes spring and the American, I'll call him John, prays for his family back home, and asks for some of the water to bring back
>The water's free, of course so he gets a flask
>The Australian, I'll call him Gary, asks for one too
>He gets it, takes a sip, then spits it all over the Korean couple and shouts "This is piss! Where's the magic God water?!" and walks off
>John, as a very religious man, takes immense offense to this.
>Gary came back with a six pack of beer he got from his travel bag, and began guzzling to get the taste of it out of his mouth.
>MFW he crumpled it up and casually dropped in it and walked away
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I sware to god my School has a jrpg party somewhere.

There's this guy that walks around who has spiky hair and a bartenders outfit. He's always wearing flashy clothes and has sweet electronics and stuff.

Always going somewhere though, I don't think i'd ever ask him what he's up to.
>Where's the magic God water
but.... I am an NPC

I make clothes for a living, by the standards of DnD 3.5 that makes me an Expert.

When not working, which takes up most of my time, I hunt and once a week can be found in the local bar scene. I literally have an Elder Scrolls-style movement routine and my general activity is passing Craft and Profession DCs for money.
>Wandering back to my apartment after my night class one day, slightly tipsy
>hear shouting from around the corner
>A group of five people charge around and right into me, I get knocked over as they don't stop in time , graze the shit out of my hands
>Somebody reaches a hand to help me up
>I grab it and realise they're wearing fucking gauntlets
>The entire group is wearing armour, two in chainmail, two in leather, and the one helping me up is wearing fucking platemail
>Man in plate is profusely apologising with a deep booming voice
>Pats me on the back, almost pushing me to the ground again, hands me a cloth bag and the group charges off shouting again
>Open bag
>Gold coins
>Chocolate gold coins

Turns out they did this to about 20 people all over the town that night. They were engaged in a marathon game of cops and robbers, starring "knights" and "bandits".

I fucking love this town sometimes.
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>Back on coach
>John is scolding Gary for his sacrilegious actions
>Gary opens another can of beer and looks at John
>"I life a token of my appreciation for God and all his miracles there, you should be thanking me."
>"You just dropped a beer can in a holy shrine!"
>"No, I dropped an artifact of God's love for man."
>John shuts up and Gary grins like a mad man
>Get to Paris
>John wants to see see the Eiffel tower, Gary wants to see the Louvre because "I've got an appreciation for fine art." or so he says.
>John protests, Gary tells him to shut the fuck as it tower'll look better at night all lit up
>John agrees
>We go to the Louvre, I had no idea there'd be a big ass line for it.
>Gary sees it and says "Nah, fuck this, follow me and act like you own the place."
>We just walk right past the line and into it, we're stopped by guards who tell us no line jumping.
>Gary, in French, tells them that we're art critics from Spain doing a review of Europe's best art.
>D backs him up with some Spanish gobbledygook about Leonardo and Eugene Delacroix and some other fuckers I had to Google
>Guards buy it for some reason, maybe the 6'4 fellow with us helped, I'll never know
>Gary takes out a note pad, it's got some poetry on it, can't remember what about
>We walk around, pushing through the line, it was a weekday during a busy time of the year so it was relatively empty, considering the building
>Gary just looks, nods, and walks on
>I don't understand art, so I did the same, and everyone else seemed to follow
>We left and the guards thanked us and asked when they'd see the review published
>Those poor bastards
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>On a road trip to meet up parents who live 400 kilometers away
>It's pretty fucking late, decide to take a pause about halfway through, stop at a generic road-side diner
>Completely empty aside one of the most nerdiest man I've ever seen (sweater, nice pants, really fucking thin and pale as a vampire), sipping his coffee at the back of the diner
>Get in, pay for a cup of coffee and a donut
>Sit down next to the windows about mid-diner, just looking at cars passing by
>Suddenly a dude walks in, waving around a pistol. He demands the cashier to give him all the cash in the register
>I'm shitting my pants, just sitting passively due to being really fucking tired and not having any idea of what to do
>Cashier mumbles something about time-locks or something, didn't really catch it
>At this point, the patron at back of the diner stands up with his coffee, walking upto the mugger, asking if he needs something in a polite voice
>Mugger yells that it's not his fucking business and he should get the fuck back to his seat
>The guy just says that he doesn't want anybody to get hurt, asks cashier to hand over money from the register
>Mugger looks surprised for a while at the guy helping him, then points the gun back at the cashier
>Guy just whips his scalding-hot coffee on the muggers face, kicks him in the nuts and does some crazy disarm move, sending the gun flying across the room
>Kicks the mugger while he's writhing on the ground, tells the cashier to call the cops
Following these people around Europe was a harrowing experience, as I realized just how uninteresting I truly am.

>Go to little cafe for lunch/early dinner
>John and Gary both want to seem "Cultured" and order escargot.
>D, Kung, Pow (the Koreans) and I both know what it is, and we stick to soups
>Food comes, a nice thick chicken soup for me
>Snails for Gary and John
>Gary looks down, looks up, looks at John, stands up, demands to see the manager
>"Why the fuck are there snails on my plate?"
>"Sir, you ordered it, it's not my fault you didn't know!"
>"Nah, you Frenchies are always going on about how good your food it, don't think you can pull one over on ol' Gary."
>We're all telling him to calm down, he's getting visibly angry at this point
>John tries to show Gary it is really food, and eats one
>He starts gagging immediately because it's a fucking snail
>"See! You've poisoned the man!"
>I'm sitting there, dipping some bread into my soup, Gary's going to stab the man
>"Sir, please, you're scaring the customers, calm down!"
>"Fuck you, mate, I'm Australian, no one poisons me 'part from the wildlife!"
>Gary punches the manager
>Shit's going to hit the fan any moment now...
>He calmly walks behind the counter, takes two bottles of champagne, gives one to John and says
>"Lets go see that shitty tower and get the hell out of this place."
>I finish my soup, it was actually nice, and follow, but I'm a good fellow and I put 50 euros on the table for the food and drink
>I think one of the staff called the police because as we were walking to the tower there were cop cars going past
But escargot is delicious. Snails are alright by themselves, but anything cooked in garlic butter kinda autowins.
>cleaning up some vomit by a checkout
>cashier is trying to make smalltalk with a woman a row over
>skinny lady wearing a bandana and sweats
>buyin gatorade and some healthy shit
>"so you going to be in that marathon thats coming up"?
>"No, im dying of god damn cancer you stupid bitch"
>five weeks later i see her dead in the paper
You happened across a motherfucking spy.
dude for real if your story goes beyond one post no one is going to read it
... Is that Last Holiday, with Queen Latifa?
speak for yourself.
Also, who doesn't know that escargot is snails in 2012?
They're snails. They're vile little creatures made of snot and gluttony.

>Get to the tower, been passing the champagne around and sipping
>A little tipsy
>Get to the base of the tower, it's getting dark now and we have to be back at the coach in a few hours
>We get on the life with some other tourists
>Make small talk
>"So how longs have you been in Paris?"
>"Oh, not long, a few days. The missus needed a rest."
>Gary looks over
>Yar! Thar she blows!
>"Well, good thing you took the lift then, if she tried to climb the steps she'd probably need another vacation."
>Doors open, quickly escape the now red with anger man
>Gary leans back in and presses down on the elevator
>"I don't think the thin air would be good for a woman like her."
>Gives her a sly wink as the door closes.
>John tells him he needs to be more polite with people, as it could be glandular and that what he just did was very offensive
>Gary shrugs and says "My mum told me not to lie."
>He walks over to the balcony
>We spend the next half and hour looking at the skyline and drinking champagne, as there was already a bar there, no one seems to mind
>I look at my phone and say we should be getting back
>We agree and ride the lift down
>Get to the bottom, see man and wife with police
>They quickly walk over to us and begin questioning Gary
>"Sorry officer, we're humble art critiques who wanted to compare the night skyline with one of the pictures we've seen. I must say, the real thing is so much more breathtaking."
>I realize Gary has a very high CHR score
>Cops take our word for it, since Gary and D were talking in French and they didn't like the Tourists

Well lads, it's 3AM, if this is still here tomorrow, I'll tell you of our time in Italy.
>Work at Ice Cream Shop
>Have a regular every day, tiny old man in a suit.
>Never says anything but what flavor of small shake he wants that day.
>Always pays in exact change.
>Ask him what his name is.
>Awesome fucking name. I ask him if that's his first or last name.
>I ask him what his last name is.
>He gives me a sly smile and shakes his head.

Dude is clearly a retired PC.
So are pigs. Bacon remains tasty.
It's a fucking snail.
someone just rolled a natural 20
If you soak anything in that much garlic butter, it tastes great.
I love you
No, if there was one thing I learnt from Gary, it's that aslong as you think and act like you should be there, people will generally agree.
I really need to visit Australia sometime.
Hell, walk around with a manilla folder with a few papers in it while at an office. You will very rarely get stopped by anyone, 'cause hey, he's got a folder.
I think that if we had worn fluorescent jackets they wouldn't of even stopped us.
Don't knock it 'til you've tried it. Lobster and crabs are sea cockroaches.
>Work at a nightclub as a bar back (Dishwasher and liquor stock boy)
>Step outside for a smoke break around midnight.
>A man in a clown suit is walking down the sidewalk towards the club, he appears intoxicated and is holding a shopping bag.
>The smokers crowd heads inside all at once, leaving me alone to deal with the drunken harlequin.
>He approaches slowly, and asks "Hey you want a cheeseburger? I got a whole bunch in this bag."
>Stare angrily at him and tell him no.
>"You suuuuuure?"
>"Nay jester, leave this realm lest I make the guards aware of your presence."
>He books it and doesn't look back.

Fucking shapeshifter bard with no charisma or bluff skills.
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I know it's more like a random encounter than being an NPC, but whatever.
>going for a walk
>suddenly, four weirdly dressed fellows (pic related) in the distance, going into a shop
>coming home, telling my brother about those guys
>they were my brother and his friends, apparently seeking someone to "fill their ball up with petroleum" and "sell them gay porn"
>they even got stopped by police officers and initiated a mock firefight after broing it up with the cops

I'm pretty sure my brother's a Fishmalk. He's on the right side with the ridiculous hat.
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Did they look like this?
I remember that thread!

>they were my brother and his friends, apparently seeking someone to "fill their ball up with petroleum" and "sell them gay porn"

I lost it.
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Why do people not get it? The Space Hobo, the Grungy Oracle... They're all Wizards.
All that comes to my mind is that "tuppence a bag" song from Mary Poppins.

Is that book any good?

The concepts are great... I hear the book was revised from the version I read, gods, 15 years ago? But I haven't checked it out... Haven't heard of a US publishing.
>driving along after getting a side quest to get some more money
>taking a left turn at a right turn only because fuck it it's shorter
>npc healer unit doesn't see me and almost hits me
>manage to get past, but only just
>fail the side-quest anyways and have one of my other party members pay for our Panda Express
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>nobody delivered
I can't find that post right now, but here you go.
damn i think i just met a real-life PC.

>be out delivering newspapers by car
>rushing like a mofo because papers are already late off the press and the boss don't like it when we work overtime
>goddamned bigass apartment block in the middle of the city
>fill my sling-bag to the breaking-point (about 50-60 various newspapers) with papers so i won't have to go back to the car for more until i've done the whole block
>run up to the entrance
>slip on ...something... discarded fast-food wrapper i think it was
>papers go flying all over the fucking place
>dude somehow catches ALL the papers neat as you please, even the ones that had split mid-air
>hands me the papers as i get up
>just nods at me as i thank him and then he takes a swig from a unmarked bottle he had inside his jacket

I think i just met a irl Monk/Drunken Master
Whatever he was drinking smelled like a mix of bleach and engine degreaser... and that was from about a meter away
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all i could think of when i read this
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I love threads like these
Dunno if this counts...

>Walking back home from Uni
>have to circle around the fucking huge boundaries of the uni from the outside
>notice car parked in weird place on the street still in the boundaries of the uni
>take a peak thru the window
>guy reading something with a huge gun sitting by his side
>assume something fishy is going on
>memorize car plate
>as i walk down some girls from my class offer to give me a ride
>tell them about what i saw, they call the police with their cell phone and report the plate

So i guess i foiled someone's infiltration attempt or something, pretty sure guy was either going to kidnap a rich girl or was the body guard of a rich girl.
>Going to a punk show in the last bad part of Chicago
>See man about four foot tops with arms bigger then my thighs
>Watch him get into a fight with 2 neo nazis and win.
>Then mosh with him in the pit later he hit with the strength of a bull all while he tried to drink his weight in beer.

Did I run into some dwarven bersker? I mean I'm 5'8 and wouldnt fuck with this guy
>Calling the cops on a guy probably reading a magazine

What the fuck is wrong with you?
At another concert this one in the suburbs
>Group of people come into the place its crowded but I notice these ones right away.
>A mismatched group one guy pale white with big bushy hair dressed regualry standing at nearly seven feet tall. A half black goth with a girl on his arm thats white dressed in similar fashion and being lead by a man ina full blown cloak.
>Upon closer isnception cloak has eye make up up on to do the guys from clockwork orange proud.
>Go and talk to them for a bit big guy is named Tree by them because he never talks and just stands there.
>Nice people unpexctedly and I enjoy chatting with them. Never saw them again at any concert or around town.

Still wonder who these people were.
>Walk down road.
>See three guys dressed as bards from Ye Olde Times.
>They tell me a ren faire is in town.
>Right on.
>I do a couple of fights, win a cool looking axe.
>Two people dressed as a king and queen, holding an open court.
>They say nice things about me since I know my way around a polearm.
>Aw shucks.
>the 'princess' is pretty cute, gives me a kiss on the cheek.
>Unfortunately maybe 16, just barely too young for it to be not awkward at the time.
>hear that a couple of bards wanted to ply their trade for nobility.
>It's the guys from earlier.
>One has a lute, another has a set of bongos, the third has castanets.
>they play some olde version of modern funk music, and then castanet guy started freestyleing.
>Like rapping. In the style of ren-faire pseudo medieval talk.
>Was the most awesome thing ever.
>I talked to them about it later, they gave me a cassette tape with some of their music on it.
>Never saw them again.
>Still have the cassette and the axe.

I'm curious about what happened to the girl. She was pretty cute and she should be if not legal then damn close by now.
if you pull that move and do anything other than immediately kill them all you are going to die horribly

the town was paranoid because there had been a recent kidnapping on my uni and a guy suspiciously parked in the boundaries with a fucking gun (here we're not as lax with gun laws as in the united states) raised a huge flag, of course i called the cops on him.
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>mfw I haven't even seen the Blues Brothers and I know that reference
Goddammit I really want to watch it but I keep missing it when it's on TV.
I doubt it was me, but I have done this and other shenanigans similar to this several times.
>Didn't get her number
YOU IDIOT! You could have become a recurring NPC!
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Saved for posterity
>My name is Gary
>I do this all the time
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Not sure if this counts or not.

>Courtesy clerk doing the closing shift (Restocking bags on checkstands, wrangling carts, bagging stuff, etc.)
>Return from getting smokes for a pair of girls.
>Suddenly geeky guy in a sundress and a girl with a pop out chicken apron are using the self checkout.
>Hear girl say "Happy birthday" as they leave.
>Ask cashier working the self checkout if I really saw that.

It has been kinda a weird night, considering that.
Bumping for the return of the eurotripper.
>Driving friend home after late night of D&D
>Cop car behind me
>He flashes his lights and turns on the siren
>I start to pull over
>He roars passed me onto the median strip and starts doing sliding 360's in the mud
>What.. the... fuck...
>Guy leans out of the drivers side window; its a young black guy without a shirt, waving what appears to be a half empty bottle of Jack Daniels
>Peels out and takes off in the other direction
>Fifteen seconds later seven cop cars and a state trooper roar by chasing him.

Well, that was pretty much par for the course for whenever my players try playing Shadowrun.
I'm always an NPC though
The one in the background with no lines
I did one better.

>a year goes by, never see her again

>final year of uni, in some basic shit-teir class I had been putting off

>small ass lecture theatre, 50 seats max, about 20 people or so present

>mid lecture my mind starts wandering, I begin drawing (pic related)

>caption it with "that sexy rogue"

>hear "I didn't know I made such an impression"

>turn around in my chair and say "hmmm?"

>it's her


>"So does that sexy rogue have a sidekick?" same fucking cocky smile and wink

And that's how I became a PC Fighter
[nospoilers] You forgot your image. [/nospoilers]
Gods condemn you, sir, give me back my luck!

So yeah, how's it feel to have fate points now? I wouldn't ever know. Props to you if that's a true story.

Sadly, I've got nothing to share. Nothing ever happens in this town, or if it does, not to me.
>Riding in car on freeway with some traffic.
>Bit of construction underway.
>Suddenly large pick-up truck JUMPS UP IN THE AIR AND COMES FLYING BACK DOWN from somewhere else on the road.
>Lands amongst a bunch of trashcan-like containers full of sand
>Sand explodes everywhere
>Man with no shirt and overalls immediately leaps out of truck, gritting his teeth and looking pissed.
>We drive on.

Friend of mine was in the car, but he fell asleep and missed it.
Image dammit! Post the image!
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thanks, we have some weird pseudo sexual tension thing going but I'm asexual and she's a total flirt; it's...interesting.

It's been fun times; she taught me to throw knives with accuracy, I've taught her how to be more charismatic and wield pole arms (glaives specifically). Known each other for about 2yrs now.
oh whoops my bad
Oh. I was looking forward to a drawing that actually looked like a specific person with recognizable features. Silly me.
oh is that the picture you're after, can't help with that sorry, that's lost in among a Fuckton of other uni books.
I didn't want to say anything out of politeness, buuuut yeah.
She must look very much like that for her to recognise herself.

So what's her deal, why is she so roguey?
> walking home from work
> be stopped on the street by some wide-eyed guy pulling a huge trunk on wheels behind him
> he proceeds to tell me how I'm the most awesome person ever
> and I'm so awesome he'll let me buy one of his books
> he then pulls out a massive A4-sized brick on buddhism and asks for $40
> It's a shiny book printed on shiny paper, obviously a scam and very heavy
> I tell him I'm not ready for such a commitment
> he then pulls out a tiny pocket book titled "perfect questions, perfect answers"
> on the cover is the face of some Indian guy doing his best "Not Bad"-face impression
> he says it's $5
> I bought it

The book is like if a Jehova's witness discovered buddhism.
>On train home from Manchester
>Drunk Buzz Lightyear and Mr Incredible board train at Scunthorpe
>Some loud ass woman begins shouting "You put the cunt in SCUNTHORPE"and various other insults
>This goes on for a good 10 minutes
>Drunk guys in no mood for this, slurring out a "Please shut up."
> Buzz Lightyear falls asleep singing "You do it to yourself, you do"
> Woman begins shouting "My dad'll fucking knock you out, fucking scunny scum"
>Mr Incredible will not stand for this!
> Old man gets up, Mr incredible gets him in a headlock, spilling cider over me and my friend
> This wakes Buzz up
>Woman goes to bottle Buzz
>In some ninja fucking bullshit, he dodges the bottle and has her on the floor, foot on her chest
>Buzz is suddenly a fucking hero
>"I don't want to hit a woman, please shut ya mouth"
>She goes back to her seat
>Mr Incredible lets go of Dad guy
>Train journey carries on like nothing happened

Oki doke.
gdi England
Joke's on him, pennies might be worthless alone but if you get a hundred of them you've got a buck.
>Going home after shooting practice in full uniform
>It's about midnight and the car I was in didn't turn on its light
>All of us had our gasmask on
>The car was about to ran out of fuel, and according to the map, there's a gas station pretty close by
>Three of us decided to walk there and get the fuel we need
>Arrive at the station
>The station worker stare at us from inside the store, and start trying to hide after seeing our weapons
>Decided to just get the fuel and escape before he call someone
Free fuel for everyone, I even manage to grab a bar of chocolate before I escape.
you criminal, you
Shorthand for someone from Scunthorpe.
seems petty. would have been more entertaining if you went in, doled out the money and silently left.
I am no criminal. I waited for him to get up and take my money, but he just hide under the counter.
If you didn't leave your money on the counter it's still stealing.
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aka: random encounters and PC's: the town
and people really hate scunthorpe?
>leave your money on the counter
Huh, I should've thought of that when I was in the store. Too late now.
It's not overly bad a place.

I only visited, though, so can't say too much about it.
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Eurotrip guy here, shall I recant Italy?
um. yes? Did you need to ask?
Of course you shall! But recite it instead of recant it, as recant means to take it back.
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Uhm... fuck yes?!

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Really now? I feel like a bit of a tit.

Side question, anyone with 4chan plus having trouble posting without an image?
Fear not, as we all have our times. Why, just recently I said "Commission" instead of "Request" when referring to an image from a drawfag.

As for your add-ons, I know not, since I have not plumbed the depths of them for 4chan,
>"Pennies are like niggers. They're worthless."

I don't know if this would be different experiencing it in IRL but I lost it after reading that.

Bumping for glory
Please tell me I didn't scare/shame you away, Eurotrip guy! I and other wish to hear more of your adventures!
>I am no criminal, even though I stole stuff by intimidating a guy

I hope a dollar worth of big black guys cum in your ass. Unless you enjoy things like that.
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>Next stop was Italy, John was excited to see the capital of Christianity
>Gary wanted Pizza and wine
>Oh boy was he in for a shock...
>We went through some smaller towns where nothing really happened, then we got to Venice
>We were told we had until 23:30 to see the sights and get back
>Then we went to see the sights, or as Gary put it
>"Look at a bunch of old shit no one cares about."
>But being in Italy, we had to hit the wine stores first
>Overall, Gary spent most of his budget buying alcohol to enhance the trip
>Leave wine store
>See costume shop
>It's several months away from that careneval(Sp) they have with all the masks and stuff
>John wants to really get into it
>Everyone says no, it's the middle of the day and we're not looking like idiots to fuel his dress up play time
>John grabs our bag of wine
>"Either dress up or I'll dump it in the canal."
>He's got us over a barrel
>I buy a hat
>Gary grabs his wine while everyone else is getting changed
>Makes a run for it
>While in half costume
Part 2 field too long

>Staff yells thief
>Following Gary with D, John's still getting changed
>"Lads, follow me, I got an escape plan!"
>Gary gets on a Gondola and unties it from the docks
>Grand theft boat
>Tells us to start drinking, it'll look like we're just another gay couple and he's an eccentric gondola driver
>Sitting there, going down the main canal with my friend having to look like a homosexual couple to avoid police looking for shop lifters and thieves
>Get stopped
>D uses his Italian
>"Officers, I hope you're not stopping us because we are explorers of the dirt track?"
>Police stammers trying not to seem homophobic
>"It matters not. Driver! Take us to the hotel, Emmanuel and I desire to make love!"
>Get the fuck out of dodge
>Spend the rest of the day on the Grand Canal drinking
Gotta walk doggy, be back later.
Any stories involving Kung and Pow?
God I love these threads
Man that bluff skill is killing my sides.
>"It matters not. Driver! Take us to the hotel, Emmanuel and I desire to make love!"

Lost it.
You had a great party. Do you still talk to them?
Gary was obviously a rogue seconding as a face and D was a bard and the main face.
I'd say you were the balanced jack-of-all-trades straitman.
so you run around europe stealing shit, hijacking vehicles, getting drunk and generally trolling the local populous?
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Fuck yes
No, I was a tourist.
Nah, they only really got into it when we got to Amsterdam.
I wanted to see the sights and enjoy the time with my friend, but Gary and John wanted company and we were in their age range.
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> Walking home from a party
> It's about 3 a.m., nice night, taking my time going through quiet neighbourhood streets
> Enter a park through a walkway
> Girl jumps out of shadows at side, grabs my arm, and pulls me toward fence
> Nearly scares me to death
> Puts her arms around my waist and whispers, "Just stand here a minute."
> Put my arms around her, trying to figure it out
> Two guys walk into park from the other direction
> Clearly looking around for someone
> She buries her face in my neck
> They notice us, pause, and keep walking
> As soon as they're gone girl takes off in the direction they just came from
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>not following her with a "wait! You can't just do that and run off!" and become the comedic sidekick
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>Sitting on the canal
>Sudden *Thunk*
>Look up
>John climbed in
>Looks pissed
>"You left me there, to pay for all of this."
>"No, I left a crazy guy who held my wine hostage unless I dressed up like said crazy guy."
>Angry glares between John and Gary
>Spend the rest of the day paddling about, stop at little river side cafe, we all agree to get lunch
>John wants pasta, I'm sticking to soup, Gary wants pizza.
>I say "Uh, Gary, you know Italian pizza is different to the pizza you're used to, right?"
>"Course I know! Ol' Gary is an educated fellow."
>See pic for pizza
>"I see, they're trying to poison me again. Well, I learnt what to do in France."
>He stands up, asks for manager.
>For fuck's sake...
>"Sir, you asked for Pizza, it is not my fault you didn't know that we serve real pizza here."
>"You trying to tell me Australian pizza isn't real pizza?"
>"Yes sir."
>"You trying to tell me, Australia has /fake/ pizza?"
>It's clicks, Gary is very patriotic of Australia, will tolerate no insults to his mother land. Woe unto ye, thou who mock 'Straya
>Gary flip the plate onto the floor
>"Listen here, you uneducated foreigner-"
>Gary tackles him into the water
>I put down 30 euros for food and broken plates
>Calmly get in gondolier
>Gary's trying to drown the manager
>"Is this drowning real Italian? Or is it fake Australian? You tell me!"
>John reached into the water and pulls him out D pushed away
>I think about hitchhiking home
>Gary is still trying to throw empty wine bottles at the cafe as we paddle away (None of us could us that big stick thing but Gary, so we just used our hands.)

We went to Rome after, wanna hear about that?
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Okay, that's creepy. Like she was following you for a full year, watching stealthily over your shoulder, probably protecting you from all sorts of dangers you never even noticed.
Some visual characteristics on Garry would be great. Maybe relevant movieshot?
Yes, we do. Also, how is Italian pizza so vastly different from what is served elsewhere?
It's bad.

Oh Australians. There's a reason we exiled you to the Land of Poison And Sharks.
Honestly? I'd say it's pretty cool.

Now I have one question and don't you fucking dare to to lie now.
How old are you?
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>Get on coach
>John says he wont be with us, as he'll be spending the day at the Vatican
>I'm not religious, neither is D, and Gary worships alcohol
>Arrive in Rome
>John fucks right off fast
>We go to the tourist center to see what we could do
>Something catches Gary's eye
>"Fuckin' segway tours!"
>Book three tickets
>Arrive at meeting point
>Get the gist of the controls
>Begin the tour
>First stop, Colosseum
>"So where's Maximus' tomb then?"
>Tour guide stops, turns and asks
>"You know, that Gladiator who killed the evil sister fucking emperor."
>"Sir, there are children here, mind the language. And that man never existed, it was a movie by Riddly Scott."
>"You're shitin' me!"
>"No, he really didn't exist."
>"Well, fuck me, something new everyday."
>Next stop, Piazza Navona
>"So, this is where they invented pizza..."
>"No, sir, it is not."
>"Then why's it called pizza nova?"
>Guide just swivels round and carries on.
>"This guy's a fucking bore, and he don't know shit about his own city. Lets go."
>Gary just turns and drives off on his segway, leaving D and I to think if we should follow, and see how much of a mess he makes, or follow the tour for once.
>We were driving through the Piazza Navona, Gary is mortified that there's no actual monuments to pizza.
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>In his dumbfounded frame of mind he drives through a street performers act, completely fucking it up
>Street mime is pissed
>Throws his hat at Gary and gives him the finger
>Gary 180s and goes to ride him down
>He can only move at 5MPH because it's a segway
>Mime goes to walk away
>For the next 10 minutes I followed Gary chase a mime in a low speed pursuit through Rome until the segway died
>He never once stopped swearing at the mime
Ausfag here.

Gary sounds like the most hardcore bogan ever.
please tell me the mime made an act out of it
The right to bear arms was never intended to protect you from criminals. It's to protect you from the government.
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Just googled it, seems right. But when he had to, he'd lie through his teeth and get us in.

No, the mime tried to get away from the violently swearing man on a segway.
I'm going to end the Euro tour here, because I just am.

>MFW D asked if I wanted to go on an Africa tour
those last two lines are the funniest thing ever
Invite Gary and John to the party and have adventures.

What kinda PC are you to turn down an adventure?

BTW Any more stories?
You must do it. Then bring back tales of Gary convincing Warlords that he's an arms dealer.
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Yeah, there's Austria, Germany and Denmark.

Europe was one thing, Africa is a hell hole. And like I said, I just wanted to see some nice buildings and art.

Fuck. That. D gave him my Facebook and I don't have the gall to remove him.

Maybe another day I'll do the rest of the countries. But for now I want to play with my dog.
Living a normal, boring life, your vacation buddies sound incredible.

Go to Africa (or somewhere safer) sometime, bring back pics.
take them with you on a cruise through norway
post the result on youtube
get famous
win indie movie award
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I did have a bunch, but I lost the camera in Amsterdam.
So you are a retired adventurer?

Anyway give us more stories in chronological order!
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I was never an adventurer, I was just there.

Another day, anon, I'll give you something to look forward to.
You were obviously a party member.

Gary was your Swashbuckler
John was your Cleric
You and D were Rangers
Well, I'll always be on the lookout for more tales.
Hey euro trip anon, did Gary ever say where he came from in Australia because I swear I know that fucker if he is from western Australia.

Also my small contribution
>live in a rather small town in aforementioned country's of poisonous death
>working at a bottle shop
>fucking graveyard shift closing at midnight finishing at 1am
>10 minutes before closing in walks the blackest person I have ever seen
>not black as in african or aboriginal black but like he was carved from obsidian black wearing a pair of shorts and nothing else.
>walks up all 6'10-6'11 of him making me feel small at 6'3
>asks me in a voice that sounds like it comes from the depths of oblivion for a carton ( 8 x 4 packs ) of blackcurrant vodka cruisers ( weakest alcohol imaginable )
>pays, gives me a tip ( first and only person ever ) and walks off into the night with a carton on his shoulder, drinking these horrible premix drinks singing something to himself.

I think he was a bard but he looked like a fucking barbarian, no one else seemed to notice is guy but I don't know whether that was from the fact that even the biggest idiots weren't about to do anything to attract the attention of the black giant walking along enjoying himself in case he decided to wreck their shit or he had something else

My town is pretty boring for the most part but we get some weird shit happening occasionally, that one is the only one where I really was an Npc in the proceedings
You're looking at it wrong. Gary was some sort of slayer and the rest of the guys were just his troupe. Anon was definitely a chronicler NPC.
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Gary just said Australia. John said Idaho.

Well, at least in the case of murica' the actual intent of arming civilians was not day-to-day protection but to deter the government from tyranny. That said, if you want to CC that's cool, if not, also cool. I also don't CC wherever I go either.

Carrying can deter crime and have the positive effect of making sure the bad guys end up dead. However it should not be the first thing you go to. If a dude wants to rob me and I'm carrying, I'm not going to pull some western Clint Eastwood shit and outrun his trigger finger, I'll just cancel my cards and give him my fucking wallet. That said If I think a mugger or robber is going to kill/rape/maim/burn myself of someone I'm with I'll try to draw when I see an opening, because life limb or eyesight is at stake. Also, most cops are required to off-duty carry, so that has to mean it's at least somewhat effective.

TL;DR your first defense should be avoidance followed by diffusing followed by violence. CC should be allowed for those who prove themselves competent
Poor guy must have prostate issues.
Her theme should be Femme Fatale - Rupa Marya & Ara Anderson
>Well, at least in the case of murica' the actual intent of arming civilians was not day-to-day protection but to deter the government from tyranny

The problem isn't the weapons existing so much as how people believe they should use them combined with the extreme ease of access. The problem isn't that guns exist but that there's insufficient discrimination to prevent total whack jobs from getting them. There's lots (and I do mean lots) of stories of perfectly innocent people getting shot. Someone thought they were a criminal or an idiot with insufficient training accidentally shot them or someone pulled the rifle out of their basement and shot someone in the face because of a misunderstanding. There was a story down in the states about a registered sex offender moving into an area (statutory rape aka consensual sex with a 16 year old) and some father knocked on his door, let him open it and then blew his face off because he was convinced he was a pedophile rapist.

The problem isn't guns, it's that when such a massive number of guns are given out with such a small amount of control it becomes inevitable that idiots get a hold of them. That will always be the case and, to be frank, with the level of military equipment we've developed guns really aren't that much of a deterrent from an armed military force anymore.

But, this is off-topic. So polite sage.

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