HARDER, BUTLER, SWAGGIER, FASTER.Into every generation a Butler is born: one man in all the world, a Chosen One. He alone will wield the swag and skill to catch the ladies, dames, and the armies of bitches; to get into their hearts and to add them to the family.He is Hayate, The Combat Butler.>ARCHIVES HEREhttp://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Mahou%20Shounen%20Quest>archive.foolz HEREhttp://archive.foolz.us/tg/search/subject/mahou%20shounen/order/asc/-=-=-=-=-=-=-LAST TIME=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-There, you are met by a young man in a brown jumpsuit with a white medic's helmet."Okay, here's how things are. You fight, you cook. Any weapons and attacks you use will not hurt your opponent nor will your opponent be able to hurt you."he places an ornate brass chestplate over your suit, "this," he taps the piece of armor "will protect you and also give you an HP bar of sorts. If it goes to 0, you lose, if you make your opponents go to 0, he loses. It's all pretty simple.""Can I use any attack?""As long as you use the equipment in the kitchen arena or your own hands and feet, and as long as the crowd enjoys it, you can.""Great.""Now, go out there, have fun and make sure to give your date a great show."The safety guy pats your back and walks away.The announcer, seeing that everything is now ready, begins the match."IN THIS CORNER, HAILING FROM THE DEPTHS OF HELL... GORDON RAMSAY!""AND HIS CHALLENGER, ON A DATE WITH THE BEAUTIFUL LADY AT TABLE 5, AYASAKI HAYATE!"The hidden racks in the walls flip outwards again, the metal glinting in the spotlights."GENTLEMEN... CHOOSE YOUR WEAPONS!"**ROLLEM**>first to break 80+ will name what weapon you pick[Must be a melee weapon, no super-tech stuff]
rolled 73 = 73See if they have a set of those Ginsu knives Chef was using.
rolled 45 = 45UrumiStick with what we know, and what no one else knows.
rolled 64 = 64>>20108717Fuck yeahSlapchop
rolled 4 = 4>>20108717Kill you.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1ooP59iykIOr is that tech?
rolled 93 = 93>>20108763Reroll
>>20108768I'm okay with this I guess.
>>20108768Oh gog
rolled 28 = 28MacheteEL LOCO BURRITO
rolled 72 = 72>>20108717A bandoleer of ceramic and titanium kitchen knives.
>>20108785>>20108792Hey you can fuck someone up with a slapchop
>>20108803I only had to cheap knockoff brand though so im alittle biased.
rolled 3 = 3>>20108763>>20108768It's not really a weapon, though. It is not intended to fuck a guy up, even if it can.>>20108755I'll back the urumi, though.
>>20108823Well, that roll isn't surprising at all.
>>20108768dat slapchop action.time to fuck some shit up.
rolled 66 = 66>>20108802I refuse to let ourselves be defeated because we chose poorly. Rolling for tha bandoleer of knives; we still need to cook as well and we don't know what the secret ingredient is.
Looks like we gonna slapchop his shit.
>>20108849Look, the Slapchop does not work as well as advertised. I'd trust Popular Mechanics over some salesman trying to make a sale. http://www.popularmechanics.com/_mobile/technology/gadgets/reviews/4311792
rolled 16 = 16>>20108717Eff it, rolling for Urumi again
rolled 19 = 19How about a really wicked sharp bread knife?
rolled 52 = 52Fine since so many want an actual weapon.Stainless steel baseball bat with spikes (you know the one)
rolled 69 = 69>>20108717Pair of Masamune kitchen knives. When the legendary sword smith wasn't making swords, he made kitchen knives. Because swords pay for the groceries but you still need a kitchen knife.
rolled 9 = 9>>20108898Comeon don't only roll good when it's too late.
rolled 24 = 24>>20108938Let's try this one.Goddamnit, Fritz, why'd you have to roll well on a gimmicky tool?
rolled 75 = 75>>20108939
rolled 54 = 54>>20108965And I use the wrong pic.One last try for excaliborg. Or how it's spelled.
rolled 39 = 39>>20108938Dammit I want to win this competition. We're actually low on money for once. And we don't have a credit card.
rolled 53 = 53Rolling for >>20108938Comeon dice theres little boys in it for you
You guys do realise that "first to break 80" means "first to break 80" right? It's the Slapchop and you will like it.
rolled 31 = 31>>20109026On the argument that a slapchop is not a actual weapon, we're gonna keep trying, any way.Katana hidding in a loaf of french bread
rolled 24 = 24>>20109038>hiddingFuck you, fingers
rolled 70 = 70Rolling for the "honjo masamune" a dagger made by a legendary smith that was actually called the "kitchen knife" due to its shape.
rolled 27 = 27Badgercunt! Fucking bastard sword then. Anything that's a real weapon.
rolled 82 = 82>>20108938One fucking more time!
rolled 10 = 10>>20109055Hmm..."An actual weapon, that is not a goddamn slapchop"
rolled 100 = 100Heh i guess the dice gods love vince
rolled 25 = 25>>20109026>>20109038That and it's a piece of junk that I wouldn't let anywhere near MY kitchen, and it's something you'd never see in a professional kitchen.>>20109046Adding a roll for this. DAT HISTORY LESSON.
>>20109073Yep.
rolled 94 = 94>>20109073Okay, seriously Fritz, fuck you.
Shit, guys, I think we fucked up. We agreed to pickup Nanoha on Sunday. But Cogbeard is coming this weekend. There's a good good chance we won't be here when he arrives. And we don't know how much the repairs will cost, even if we do catch him.
rolled 80 = 80>>20109073You're a dick, and I hate you.
>>20109090Susan.
>>20109073GOD DAMN IT. Aren't you signed up to join the army? Go do some pushups or something.
rolled 11 = 11>>20109101Already did today
>>20109099She can stay in case Cogbeard arrives, but money will still be a problem.
>>20109133Then we work out a payment plan.
>>20109125I hope they PT you till you die.
>>20109142Me too
>>20109125Then go do another 100 more for the 100 you wasted you jackass.
rolled 40 = 40Rolling to have us kill ourselves with the closest blunt object.
rolled 92 = 92Knives
>>20109168Actually i din't waste it, if i hadn't of rolled it wouldn't of come up.
>>20109188Technically speaking he's correct. The best kind of correct.
rolled 58 = 58>>20109211bureaucrat pls go
>>20109233no
>>20109233No u
>Slap chop.>Dammit fritzYou could have picked any of the myriad of weapons there. There were spears, swords, polearms, even some warhammers.But something different caught your eye.It was a hardened tube, closed-off on one end and topped with a crescent blade.You've seen one of these before, you can't remember what it's called but you remember seeing it in a film.The tube enclosed your arm, your wrapping around a grip inside.As you studied this unusul weapon, you see an inscription on the bronze body."tunde cædentes"Your latin is very rough, mostly learned from pig latin spoken by italian gangsters in Tokyo, but you think it says "Slap chop"Across the arena, your opponent selects a wicked looking warhammer."CONTESTANTS LEAADY?!" asks the chairmanYou nod, Ramsay raises his hammer."TONIGHT'S SECRET INGREDIENT IIIIIIIIS..."**rollem** What is the secret ingredient?first to break 80+ again
rolled 2 = 2>>20109249jalapeño
rolled 40 = 40>>20109249Squid ink. We blind cooking douche with it.
rolled 67 = 67>>20109249Know what? Franks red hot sauce.
rolled 5 = 5>>20109249Bull penis
rolled 46 = 46>>20109249saw dust
rolled 56 = 56>>20109249Soylent Green!
rolled 50 = 50>>20109249"Long Pig".
rolled 7 = 7>>20109249That orange from class.
rolled 42 = 42>>20109249Goat testicles.
rolled 35 = 35>>20109267This
rolled 8 = 8>>20109249Potatoes.
rolled 18 = 18>>20109263wow really?
rolled 89 = 89Vodka.
rolled 56 = 56>>20109249That two week old stuff from the back of the fridge that's turning slightly green
rolled 91 = 91>>20109249Natto
rolled 30 = 30>>20109288Ya, really
rolled 100 = 100>>20109249Dynamite.
rolled 8 = 8>>20109249Cantaloupe
>>20109289eeeee
rolled 6 = 6>>20109249Soylent Green
rolled 6 = 6>>20109289Nice.>Too bad about the dynamite and bull penis though.
>>20109289That settles it. Our appetizer is pasta in a vodka lemon creme sauce, and the main dish is Gordon Flambe.
>>20109289i'm entirely ok with this.
>>20109289Vodka? That's really weak, man.
rolled 88 = 88>>20109317Ramsey Flambe
rolled 100 = 100Dynamite.
>>20109249He pulls out a bottle from inside his cloak and bites off the cap."VODKA!"The pedestal hidden in the middle of the floor rises again, now loaded with crates of the stuff.Ramsay rushes forwards and you do the same to get some Vodka to cook with.**roll for initial clash**>taking the 3rd
>>20109407>>20109296How in the hell?
>>20109296>>20109407Ohgodwhatthefuckamilookingat
rolled 44 = 44>>20109418
>>20109296>>20109407What the hell? The dice seem to REALLY want dynamite, because that's two 100s for it.
>>20109418Hayate atleask can fight with his hands and shit.
rolled 30 = 30>>20109418
rolled 59 = 59Testing
rolled 34 = 34>>20109418sorry....
rolled 7 = 7>>20109418Go for the eyes!
rolled 32 = 32"Dynamite!"
rolled 65 = 65>>20109447Whelp.
>>20109447The two of you clash right in the middle of the ring.Both trying to get their hands on some vodka before the pedestal disappears down into the ground again.Sparks fly as you use your weapon to block the warhammer Ramsay is wielding.As expected of a veteran fighter, he already has a crate of vodka tucked under his left arm.He's only just attacking you now for the heck of it.You grab a crate and pull it towards you, but the hammer, expertly weilded, smashes it out of your hand.You attack him again, still trying to get some vodka for yourself.The pedestal begins to descend.You're running out of time.With a kick and thrust, you fend him off long enough to wrap your fingers around a couple of bottles.You jump back to avoid another attack and sprint back to your waiting kitchen.WHAT COOK FOR ENTREE?>taking the first to break 70+
rolled 27 = 27I have returned full of pork, potatoes, and delicious german beer
>>20109594Crepes en Vodka Flambe
rolled 1 = 1>>20109600Shit, forgot my roll.
rolled 30 = 30>>20109594Something with a fantastic vodka-tomato sauce. I'm thinking an Italian/Balkan fusion dish of some kind.
rolled 86 = 86>>20109594Vodka cereal
>>20109618Ok, because we haven't said this enough tonight.Fuck you, Fritz.
rolled 41 = 41>>20109594Ham Pasta with Vodka Sauce?
>>20109629Sorry i'll stop i just felt a bit ornery tonight
>>20109618You're intentionally making us lose, aren't you Fritz.This isn't even you just happening to roll shit; this is you being a dumbass and intentionally losing this for us when we don't want to lose.
>>20109618Breakfast of champions!
rolled 75 = 75>>20109594Vodka creme Alfredo.
rolled 33 = 33>>20109594Dynamite
>>20109649i'm not even thinking with ulterior motives i just type the first thing that comes to me that i laugh at.
>>20109645I seriously hope that they kill you in PT. Just run you until you collapse and get an aneurysm, or arrhythmia in your heart.
>>20109645Well, you're being a huge ass. No reason to take your orneriness out on us unless we were the ones who caused it.
rolled 9 = 9>>20109669Fritz. When do you ship out? I'm shipping out for Benning soon myself.
>>20109686april, you?
rolled 42 = 42>>20109695September.MOS?
>>2010970718xHow about you?
rolled 92 = 92>>2010971668W
>>20109669That shit would fly in most other situations here at the Bureau. But we're up against Gordon Fucking Ramsay, with real tangible rewards if we succeed. And honestly, I don't find them funny. They're like the tongue-in-butt jokes that keep on falling flat.No sense of delivery at all.
>>20109729Welcome to quests. Enjoy your shit sandwich.
>>20109725Ah, that was my 5th choice on my list
rolled 70 = 70>>20109594Pork with vodka-lemon creme and capers on a bed of long-grain rice pilaf. And remember to throw a lit molotov at Cooking Douche's crate of vodka. Whoops.
Jesus guys stop getting so mad at someone for rolling high with odd ideas in a quest thread.
>>20109753Closest I could get to comat arms with my colorvision. Shoulda stuck with my fucking commission.
>>20109772I like this plan
>>20109772I also like this idea... Alchemy is cooking right?
>>20109782Indeed, I wanted 11b which i had and then lost because the system fucked up and redid half my shit. So the choice was tanks or special forces and if i ever wash out of special forces i am already trained as an airborne qualified infantryman so i went with that.
>>20109810It's not even alchemy. It's just the logical result of high-proof alcohol meeting a burning rag.
rolled 92 = 92Slapchop the gas-lines to his oven. Then slapchop the electrical-wires to his oven.
rolled 34 = 34vodka is made from glorious potato of russia. make a potato-based dish with it and get drunk while doink so. engulf the pigdog enemy in fire while doink so.
YOu begin putting together somthing you've once seen served a lot in the backstreets of Shinjuku.Something that hostesses and hosts partake of before a long night of entertaining rich old people.You pull out a bowl and a box of lucky charms.Pouring a measure of cereal into the bowl, you then top it off with vodka, strawberry soy-milk, and a sprig of mint.Across the arena, Ramsay seems to be flambeing something.He also appears to be constructing something out of a pressure cooker, some tubing and a sack of potatoes.What do you make for your main-course?*rollem*>taking the first to break 70+
>>20109827If I had the choice I would go with tanks.I just have a weakness for metal boxes with big guns strapped onto them.They get cramped though I am told.
rolled 74 = 74>>20109856Rerolling for this>>20109772
rolled 96 = 96>>20109856Vodka creme pasta.
rolled 87 = 87>>20109856Penne Pasta with shrimp and a tomato vodka sauce.Follow it up with a molotov cocktail thrown towards Ramsay's pressure cooker.And we need a desert!
rolled 75 = 75>>20109856Slapchop the gas-lines to the enemy's oven. Then slapchop the electrical-wires.
rolled 12 = 12>>20109856Tongue in butt
>>20109917Now you're not even trying.
rolled 63 = 63>>20109930Tongue in butt.
rolled 88 = 88>>20109917A bit too early there my friend.Second this>>20109886and how about some drinks with that?http://www.chow.com/food-news/54862/10-recipes-using-vodka/
rolled 87 = 87>>20109941Butt in tongue?
rolled 32 = 32Tongue in butt
rolled 23 = 23Tongue in butt
rolled 77 = 77Tongue in butt
fuckin' a mate
rolled 94 = 94Dynamite in butt.
rolled 27 = 27>>20109988lol
>>20109772You begin to work on what would be your main course.A dish of pork with vodka-lemon creme and capers on a bed of long-grain rice pilaf. As you made this you made sure to throw a smile and a wink towards Mio to show her that you know that she's watching.She blushes for a moment but points across the arena in warning.There, Gordon Ramsay is aiming what appears to be a bazooka at you.Made from a preassure cooker and tubing, powered by vodka and firing potatoes, this cannon was his version of ranged warfare.WAT DO?
>>20110056Molitov his ass! Burn him alive!
>>20110056Slapchop to the dick
rolled 25 = 25>>20110056Molotov Carpet Bomb Ramsey's side of Kitchen Stadium.
>>20110056Throw a molotov cocktail right into the bazooka.
rolled 24 = 24>>20110056Molotov him. Alchemy is a kind of cooking, right?
>>20110068This. Vodka/based molotov cocktails. Then throw Mio a wink or blow her a kiss or something.
>>20110056Cut his power or his tubing or whatever looks important.Strike the weakpoint for massive damage.
rolled 70 = 70>>20110056Get up on your stove top and bend over with your ass in his direction. Pull down your pants and panties.
rolled 17 = 17Do that thing where you do a twirl and send his projectile back at him with even more power.
>>20110056SLAP-CHOP HIS EYES!
>>20110127This
>>20110056YOu wanted to throw your molotov at him, but you remember the briefing earlier, you could only use something form the arena.So as you avoided the potatoes being sent towards you in a barrage of carbs, you prepared a more traditional molotov cocktail.Stuffing a rag into the neck of one of your bottles, you light it on the stoke and hurl it across towards your opponent.*crash*Fire spreads quickly across his kitchen.But he doesnt seem to mind it and he resumes his work amidst the flames.WAT DO YOU MAKE FOR DESSERT?*first to roll a 70+
rolled 21 = 21>>20110233Dynamite
rolled 71 = 71>>20110239>>20110239Dynamite.
rolled 77 = 77Ham Pasta Entree with Vodka Sauce
rolled 7 = 7>>20110233A Chocolate Ganache Tart.Black Forest Cake but with a Vodka-Orange sauce that mellows out the sugary sweetness and makes it less overpowering.
rolled 23 = 23Vodka infused cheesecake topped with strawberries and a vodka based chocolate sauce.
>>20110249fucking control+v, ment Blackberry and Vodka Sorbet With Mixed Berries
rolled 22 = 22>>20110233Vodka chocolate mousse.
>>20110246Okay. You got dynamite. How do you make it into a dessert using vodka?Come on, you rolled for it, now explain it.
rolled 11 = 11Obviously it's an extreme gourmet flambe dish.
rolled 87 = 87>>20110250Sounds like about what I'd do.Also, I hope LG ignores the retards and trolls calling for dynamite.
>>20110277No, no. Let them explain how they're going to work dynamite into a dish that's going to get served to Mio. I really want to know how they're going to get that to work.They must have some idea of how dynamite will go with vodka.They can't be so bereft of imagination and stupid as to have no idea of how to make this work.
>>20110259Changing my 87 vote to this. Not like it matters, because it broke 70 first. I just want to let you know that sounds amazing.Could we maybe manage to use a flavored vodka for infusing the cheesecake?
rolled 51 = 51>>20110297Well, lets make a chocolate cake. Then soak it in nitroglycerine. Nitroglycerine being made by nitrating glycerine. Glycerine being made of peanut oil. Served alongside a bottle of vodka.
>>20110332>Served alongside a bottle of vodka.That's it?Soaking a chocolate cake in peanut oil and serving it with a bottle of vodka?The vodka needs to be an ingredient of the dessert. Simply putting it to the side is grounds for automatic disqualification. This can't be a serious entry. Please, give us an actual vodka-based dessert.
rolled 66 = 66>>20110361Fine. Then make a two layered cake. Soak the bottom layer in the nitroglycerine and soak the upper layer in vodka. Then light the upper layer on fire.
>>20110361Vodka based dessert recipe:Acquire lowball glassPlace two ice cubes in glassPour out one measure of vodkaAdd to glassPour out one measure of vodkaAdd to glassServes one.
>>20110246YOu begin backing a Dynamite screwdriver cake.Basically 2 cocktails turned into bread.The cake itself is flavored with orange juice and vodka.The icing, a mix of Tequila, Absinthe and Aftershock, a Canadian liqueur.This cake with it's overwhelming alchohol content and potent mix of sugar and citrus, was your centerpiece for the night.You wait for the cake to finish baking and set-aside the icing.Ramsay, finished with his preparations, runs over to your station to attack.WAT DO?
>>20110430Defend against Ramsay, if we have any molotov cocktails left, throw them at his prepared dishes to ruin them.
rolled 79 = 79>>20110430Triple suplex him.
>>20110430Knife throwan time.
>>20110430Clone ourselves and have the other Hayate slapchop the fuck out of Ramsey.
>>20110430Powerfist (slap chop punch) him in the throat.
rolled 14 = 14>>20110430SLAP CHOP MEET EYES!
>>20110381That'll do nothing but cause the nitroglycerin to burn, and basically charcoal the entire cake. Congratulations, you've just ruined a perfectly good chocolate cake.You're actually quite bad at this, aren't you.
>>20110466>he doesn't know that nitroglycerine burning causes it to explodeOkay, kid.
>>20110470Not when it is soaked into an absorbent substance like clay or a cake. Then it is nice and stable and can be burned safely, requiring a primer, blasting cap, or equivalent to cause a detonation.They call it Dynamite in that case, which was sort of the whole point.
>>20110470>cannot into dynamite
>>20110430You pop your clone program and have him continue working on the cake as you fight against Ramsay.WIth your arms still encased in the weird weapon, you defend and delay Ramsay to keep him from getting at your dishes.Using a wok in your right hand as a shield, you put up an ironwall that prevents the other chef from getting any closer.You watch as your clone puts the finishing touches on the cake and give you a thumbs up.It's time to counterattack.**ROLL FOR COUNTER ATTACK**>Highest roll of the first five says what to do.>number determines success
rolled 47 = 47>>20110540Throw a molotov at Ramsay's prepared dishes.
rolled 33 = 33>>20110540Throw him into his oven.
rolled 31 = 31>>20110540"Shield" bash flurry with jabs and sweeps from the "Slapchop" interlaced
rolled 3 = 3Slapchop to the throat, and while he protects his throat, get him in the nuts.
rolled 44 = 44>>20110540Burn him out.
rolled 79 = 79>>20110562That's... quite clever.
rolled 28 = 28>>20110540Leg sweep Ramsay and throw a molotov cocktail at his prepared dishes if we have one.Then we fight him back towards his own oven, and get a pot and overturn it onto his head. We need to put on a show after all.
rolled 98 = 98FIRE.
>>20110562>47Looks like the /tg/ dice don't feel like giving us an easy time of this.
>>20110505Well, I guess it's a good thing that Noble didn't soak his NG into an earth substance. Or else his stuff wouldn't have been extremely volatile or wouldn't have merely needed an open flame to detonate.Oh. Wait.
>>20110659I think you are either confused or using too many negatives.Basically you've gotten in over your head and are disagreeing with a guy who said what you mean by saying the opposite of what you mean.
>>20110659also Nobel sweet fuck it's his fucking name and you even bothered to capitalize it
>>20110698>spelling mistake>gets angry>over a spelling mistake>a spelling mistake that came from the person typing to fastYea, okay. You aren't out on a limb there now. Not at all.
>>20110698Fuck Nobel and his petty hate of Math.
>>20110659When Nobel created dynamite and mixed nitroglycerin with diatomaceous earth, yes, it was extremely stable. You seem to be mixing up his Blasting Oil with his Blasting Powder.Yes, if the dynamite is old, it will weep nitroglycerin and be extremely sensitive.But when it's fresh, it requires a blasting cap.>the actual possibility of explosion without a blasting cap is minimalFrom the article on dynamite:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DynamiteAlso, video's of nitroglycerin combined with a nitrocellulose burning rather than exploding:http://youtu.be/k-9K-fiB7CM
>>20110716Different guy here, but sweet fuck, man. I'm shitfaced drunk and I can still proofread my posts. What's your excuse? Polite selfsage for bitching.
>>20110716Nigger what even is your point here?A cake full of absorbed nitroglycerine is roughly equivalent to most anything else full of absorbed nitroglycerine, which is to say a stable explosive known as Dynamite that won't go off without a primary detonation of some sort.The entire reason the fucker is famous is because of how safe Dynamite is to handle compared to straight nitroglycerine. You can literally pull the blasting cap out of a stick of dynamite, throw it on your fireplace, and burn that shit for warmth.
>>20110771Also you still don't want to eat that cake because you will die, but not from it exploding.
I dunno about you guys, but I'm more concerned with the fact that you can't make dynamite from vodka, so it violates the rule that you have to use the secret ingredient. So far as I'm concerned anything else is a moot point at best.
>>20110771May I?This video demonstrates how nitroglycerin burns when exposed to fire, and only explodes when subjected to a shock.http://youtu.be/oa6fcun3kag
>>20110828The dynamite poster was saying that soaking the top layer of a 2-layer cake makes the dynamite cake a valid entry.Putting aside the validity of such a half-assed entry in an Iron Chef competition, we're showing that setting the top half on fire like the poster said to do would only result in a burnt cake rather than anything flashy or close to, say, a vodka chocolate flambe.Also exposing their lack of understanding how dynamite actually works.
>>20110562>HAYATE BAfter putting the last dash of marmalade on your cake, and watching as the other you held off your opponent, you reached under the counter and pulled out your last Molotov cocktail.Hurling the flaming bottle of vodka across the stadium, you aimed for the three covered dishes on one of Ramsay's counters.*crash*Fire erupts around the dishes."Yes!" you exclaim as you head out to gang up on the chef with yourself."Ahahahaha.." you find him laughing as he attacked the you with the shield and slap-chop."You actually did it! You actually did it!"His blows become frantic, powerful."I must thank you for your help young man. That final burst of flame was all i needed to finish my dishes.""What?!" you ask in confusion."You don't get it?! I left them undercooked!" *SMASH!* The hammer sends the two yous tumbling across the packed-dirt floor.WAT DO?
>>20110833This is not always the case. Liquid NG can and will explode when ignited if it feels like it and/or if you woke up on the wrong side of the bed without making the appropriate blood sacrifice.Also holy shit that fucking guy made fucking nitrogen triiodide in his garage
rolled 14 = 14Crazy Ivan?
>>20110924Kick his ass. Only chance we have of winning is depleting his health bar now.
>>20110924Throw another one?>ermirst urethraI'll pass on that one, captcha.
rolled 29 = 29>>20110924The answer is more MolotovHayate B distracts while Hayate A grabs some of Ramsey's spare vodka and tosses it onto his dishes again.We can just as easily overcook his food if we keep turning up the heat
>>20110924>I left them undercooked!Well shit, Ramsay is craftier than I gave him credit for. Find a bag of four.Throw the bag of flour and throw our Roman Scissors at the bag so that it tears open right over the flames.This should cause a dust explosion which will ruin his dishes.
rolled 14 = 14>>20110924Light his dick on fire with a molotov. Then throw an open container of mustard at his dishes.Strong Dijon stuff, too, so nobody will taste fuckall else.
>>20110924Easy. Have our clone put the fire out with a fire extinguisher.
>>20111004>Ramsey has to serve a bunch of dishes covered in fire retardant foamI guess that's what you get...*sunglasses* when you play with fire.YEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH
>>20110968yes. That or dirt.
>>20110968Lets go with flour. If I remember correctly, under the right circumstances flour powder in air can explode.
>>20111061>under the right circumstancesYes, but a fire extinguisher ruins the dishes under ANY circumstances. And it's ironic.Sometimes the best solution isn't the grandest or the flashiest, but the simplest.
>>20111088Okay, but that assumes that there's a fire extinguisher for us to use.I actually don't think Chairman Kaga would allow such obvious safety devices.
>>20110924The two yous get up and run at him.Ramsay, expecting an all-out attack, puts his guard up.This was a feint of course, and your clone jumps over him to attack his workspace head on.You begin to fight with Ramsay in earnest.Weapons smashed and crashed into each other, sparks flying.Your clone finds a handy bag of flour in the still burning kitchen set-up.You pull back on your weapon as you hold the hammer in place preventing him to attack you again.Your clone rips open the bag and kicks it over the still burning counter.**ROLL FOR SUCCESS**
rolled 5 = 5>>20111112KABOOOOOOOOOOOOM
rolled 59 = 59>>20111112Okay roll storm now!
rolled 6 = 6>>20111112FLOUR BOMB!
rolled 24 = 24>>20111112Go! Dice! Do ett!
rolled 82 = 82ROLLIN FOR ALL THE EXPLOSIONS!
rolled 73 = 73>>20111112Gob dammit, /tg/ dice, don't screw us now!
rolled 44 = 44Looks like more Demoman is needed.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ght8VpVCei0KABOOM!
rolled 26 = 26>>20111112Well, since we're doing it, might as well do it right.
rolled 45 = 45>>20111112Successive blast!
rolled 47 = 47>>20111112BOOM
rolled 40 = 40Am I too late?
rolled 4 = 4Channel Nanoha, receive BOOM.
rolled 100 = 100>>20111112Flour for the flour god!Bread for the bread throne!
rolled 22 = 22>>20111165All hail the Nat 100!
rolled 20 = 20This one's for Nanoha!
rolled 61 = 61>>20111163YOU TAKE THAT BACK, YOU WHORISH DICE. YOU TAKE THAT SHIT BACK RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.
>>20111172Phew... forgot to turn off dice there.
>>20111165Hahaha that actually worked?Too bad we didn't take Nanoha out to dinner for this, she would enjoy the boom part.We should get kraus to start recording all the explosions we use for her.
>>20111112inb4 nat1inb4 fuck you fritz
rolled 44 = 44>>20111189wow dude
>>20111189>in during Fuck you FritzFuck you, Fritz
>>20111165oh nat 100 nice
>>20111189Well, since you're expecting it,"Blah, blah, fuck you fritz, blah, blah"
>>20111202Fritz... will you kill some foreigners for me? Preferable not North American foreigners...
>>20111165*BOOM!*The flour, kicked up by your clone produces just the right cloud to ignite.The resulting dust explosion levels Ramsay's kitchen and of course destroys his dishes.Your clone, the moment the explosion went off, was ready as well.Riding the shockwave, he aims a brutal kick towards Ramsay's back as you aim your Slap-chop at his chest.Blade and boot met flesh in a terrifying combined blow.Ramsay, unprepared for this, is out, his HP bar emptying instantaneously. "AND OUR WINNER!" the chairman announces as his basket descends, "THE CHALLENGER... AYASAKI HAYATE!"He walks up to you amidst the applause and raises your hand.----------------------------------------------------Back at your table, after your terrific win, you once again sit face-to-face with Mio.WAT SAY/DO?
>>20111358So, I was promised a kiss?
Just a side thought, but the mischief we could accomplish with our clone ability and our invisibility is enormous.As for what say:'Well what was I going to win again?'With the swag in max overdrive.
>>20111358"I guess you could say his plate.... just wasn't ready for our date."
>>20111358I return triumphant from the fields of glory, bring this token of my appreciation for you (present her with the meal you've created).Will you bestow upon me, your ardent admirer some small piece of goodwill?
>>20111358so how did you enjoy the show?
>>20111401Too much rhyme, not enough swag.
"So..." you smirk "I remember that I was promised a kiss.""Y-you were?""Yep. And if I remember correctly, you made the promise.""I d-did?""yeah, it's all coming back to me now. I sure hope you don't mind if I collect...""..." Again the pressure is too much for Mio, one that was accustomed to be the one to do the teasing, and she bursts out into a beautiful blush."O-okay..."She leans forwards, and you do the same."When you're ready Mio." you say, faces inches apart."c-close your eyes..."You did as she says and feel a quick peck on your cheek."Well... That's different." you say as you hold your cheek.She pulls away and sinks into her chair.----------------------------------------------------------After dessert, you and your date prepare to head out of the restaurant when someone stops you."Hey! Hey! You!" someone calls out."Me?""yeah you! Won't you listen to proposition I have?"[ ]Listen[ ]sorry no time
>>20111537[x]Listen"Only for a few minutes."
>>20111537[x]ListenJust a moment
>>20111537[x]Listen...Frank... I sense his presence for some reason...
>>20111537ListenOk but be fast, I don't want to keep my lady waiting.
>>20111537I have more important matters at hand.You have ten seconds.
On one hand, I think it might be Frank.On the other, maybe it might be Old Man Henderson.I say we listen.
rolled 41 = 41ROLLING FOR OLD MAN HENDERSON!
rolled 6, 5 = 11ignore this post just checking out dis har dice rollan
>>20111537you turn around to see some sort of purple alien four-armed alien walk up to you."I like your moves kid. BAM!" he shakes your hand."I'm Elzar and I manage the entertainment here. What do you say about joining up with us and being a regular? Let's see... We'll make you the black IronChef."[ ]Tell me more[ ]Sorry I'm already employed by the Bureau
>>20111714[x]Sorry I'm already employed by another agency
>>20111714Sorry, but I'm training to be an Agent at the Bureau. I wouldn't mind helping out once in a while, though. Unfortunately, I have no idea when I'm going to be around after I complete training.
>>20111714Sorry, I'm already employed.
>>20111714[x]Sorry I'm already employed by the BureauMaybe we can come back some time.
>>20111714[x]Sorry I'm already employed by the Bureau
[ ]Sorry I'm already employed by the Bureau
>>20111714Prior commitment to the Bureau. Though if we're in town and it should happen that they need a guest chef...
>>20111714[x]Sorry I'm already employed by the BureauWho knows maybe you'll find some Zinc Saucier to take my place.
Tell me more
Tell Me Morec'mon guys, this is an Ayasaki dream job!
>>20111714Sorry employed by the bureau.
>>20111793We already serve our mistresses as their manservant.A butler desires nothing more than the perfect execution of their duties.
>extra reward triggered"Sorry but I'm already with the Bureau.""Oh! Ohhhh.... That's why you had the moves. Damn shame. Damn damn shame."He pulls a calling card out and hands it to you, "Anyway, if you want to oh, i don't know, need a few extra Guptas and want do a quick guest appearance or something, just give me a call. We could always use the new blood."One of the stagehands runs up to him with a box, and whispers something."Oh it seems the Chairman was also quite impressed. He sends these with his regards."The stagehand hands you the box and you find yourself holding a brand new set of Ginsu Knives."Please tell him I said thanks." you say as you have Kraus store the box for now."You got it. So, give me a call okay?""I will if I have time" you tell him as you head on out into the street to continue your date.WAT DO? WHERE GO?
>>20111860Go to: LakeWhat Do: Play violin for MioI don't think she's heard our playing, and I vaguely remember her asking to hear us play.
>>20111860We planned the dinner reservations and gave her a show.Let's ask Mio what she wants to do next.
>>20111860Moonlight boat ride on the lake.Give that bitch some romance,Bitches love romance.
>>20111884If we're playing the violin we need to play the sexiest song that was ever played. Bonus points if we open up a rift into the elemental plane of swag.
>>20111860Whatever it is stay sober and the hell away from Bombadils... Frank is about. Somewhere somehow... Take her out on a boat ride and play the violin for her?
>>20111860See what Mio wants to do.And if she doesn't know then a walk by the lake or maybe fly her over it with our strikers.
>>20111911OH SHIT YES. MOONLIT FLIGHT TIME! SKY WALTZ
>>20111954And play the violin at the same time! Brilliant!
>>20111860Taking her arm in yours, the two of you return to walking around aimlessly.And soon enough, you once again arrive at the lake.The two moons, again displayed in full, reflect beautifully on the still waters. [you have never learned how the lunar cycle for this world works]"Amazing..." your date comments as she looks at the perfect scene.Deciding that tonight's campyness still wasnt up to par, you look into her eye and answer, "Not as amazing as you though.."Closer and closer the two of you lean in.Mere seconds seemed to take so long as your lips and hers were drawn together inch my agonizing inch.*blurp.. blurp... blurp...*bubbles break on the surface of the water, disturbing the perfect scene.You and Mio stop, lips mere centimeters from touching and turn to see what's going on.**ROLLEM**1-80 it's FRANK81-100 it's Sousuke>taking 5th
rolled 22 = 22First time I'm actually hoping Sousuke barges in on our date.
rolled 81 = 81>>20111860The odds are not in our favor. But then again they never are.
rolled 65 = 65>>20112052Constantly with the interruptions. Punk kids.
rolled 74 = 74>>20112052fuck>>20112068heh
rolled 33 = 33My roll is the roll.
rolled 80 = 80>>20112052Go away frank...
rolled 97 = 97>>20112052Get the Strikers ready.
>>20112083FUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKKKK
>>20112083Exactly zero mercy.
From the depths comes a figure in a wetsuit holding a trident.In a bag hanging from it's left hand is a half dozen or so old boots and shoes."WHEW... What a haul." the figure takes off its goggles to reveal FRANK."Well hello hello, if it isnt my favorite blue-haired boy... Care to join me for a swim..?" it unzips the wetsuit it was wearing down the front"YOu can dive. right. in..." the zipper, dangerously close to being opened all the way, slowly makes the horrendous trip down Frank's torsoWAT DO?
>>20112156Can we teleport with Mio in tow? OR are we gonna have to Striker it up?
sage this shit all to fuck
rolled 12 = 12>>20112156FUCKSHITBADGERCUNTDICKSNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE...Wait why are you diving for old boots frank?
>>20112156Calmly and seriously tell him to sod off, he can mess with us all he wants but he will not ruin Mio's special night.She likes when we show we've got balls.
rolled 64 = 64RUN FOREST, RUN!
>>20112214Care to roll to intimidate Frank?You must beat an 85+ whitin 5 rolls
>>20112214Sort of agreed: just avoid the phrase "sod off". He just might take that literally.
rolled 35 = 35>>20112226CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. A BUTLER PROTECTS HIS LADIES INTERESTS.
rolled 82 = 82>>20112226CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!
rolled 75 = 75>>20112226WE SHALL BECOME DEATH DESTROYER OF WORLDS.WE SHALL EAT HIS UNHAPPINESS.
rolled 11 = 11>>20112249so close
rolled 78 = 78LAST ROLL, I'LL MAKE MEATBREAD AND SACRIFICE IT TO THE DICEGODS IF THIS MAKES IT
>>20112264Fuck, let's just step on his neck and shoot him in the head.Because that's how I roll.
rolled 60 = 60>>20112226This can only end in tears
rolled 89 = 89Come on, LG. Don't let a few shit rolls shit up the whole thing.Not cool, man.
>>20112318That's what people wanted to do rather stupidly.We have to deal with it now.
>one roll is three away>7th beats itdice gods pls go
>>20112339Make more sense, dammit. I can't figure out what you're trying to say because of the unknown referents. What did people want to do that was rather stupid? What exactly did people do that meant we deserved to be fucked over like that?
>>20112395Trying to intimidate the freakish hell spawn that is frank with Hayate who is honestly one of the least intimidating characters in history.We could have chosen a different thing to do instead which could include distracting him, teleporting, running like hell or strikers on and get the fuck out of there.Now I expect Mio will save us from the eventual rape anyway.
>>20112249"Frank, I have no idea what you're doing here, or why you are fishing for old shoes, but i will tell you this."You begin to say in a soft, dangerous voice."If you mess with me right now, if you ruin our evening, i will do everything there is in my power to destroy you.""Ohhhh... Feisty." Frank winks at you."Frank. I ask you now. Will you leave us alone or do I have to make you?" you reach into your pocket, ready to pull out some knives.>20112318"Okay. Okay. Geez..." his voice changes from that weird falsetto to a deep, manly tone. "No need to get your butler briefs in a knot. Christ."He zips up, grabs his harvest and walks away."Who was that?" Mio asks you as she watches the strange fellow disappear."Frank. The old nurse... we have... a history of sorts.""I see... And where did this manly side of you come from all of a sudden?""I picked it up somewhere." you say as you place an arm around her shoulder."I like it." she smiles as she brings her face closer to yours to continue where you left-off
>>20112427>not even a thought about avoiding interrupting a romantic date with a wacky scooby doo chaseYou're a bit inconsiderate eh?
NEXT TIME ON MSQ:Port out, starboard homeNew thread at 2200 WEDNESDAY 4chan time>can't do a thread tomorrow, mum's brithday.>Sousuke quest later at 0800
Hey gaise.gaise.If we are the crew in hayates brain that tells him what to do, then I wonder if Susan has an all female version of is commanding her around when we aren't.
rolled 2 = 2>>20112542
>>20112753She has the cast from mouretsu pirates.
rolled 13 = 13>>20113169She has Tongue in her butt.
>Thread 112>Will this particular quest thread ever end?>Even if I wanted to get into it, who's going to read 112 archives just to catch up to what's going on?Mfw this guy had no idea there would be people going through over a hundred sixty threads just to catch up, like I am right now.
>>20113217lol me too. its weird to be reading both. i keep wanting to participate in the archives and forgetting whats going on in the active threads.
>>20113252>>20113217Glad you guys are enjoying it. We had fun getting this far which I think is why it has done so well
>>20113387That's also probably why it gets bitched about.Autisms can't understand why people are having fun.
>>20113503That and EGO and his crusade to destroy anything more popular than his shitty threads.Except SWQ because he reckons that planefag is good enough.Guy is the most massive douchebag I have ever seen.
Hey guise....>>20113580SAGARA QUEST
>>20113605OH SHI-
