>>Previous threads can be found at: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=NearFuture%20Cyborg%20Quest
>Fate Points: 1
>Nano-Meta: 3655 Units
>Credits: 46,250

The year is 2025.
Your name is Dave, and you never asked for this.
Captain Minerva of ArmaTek, otherwise known as the Smoking Man, or 'Smokey', is standing in front of you, rather unhappily, a heavy rifle in his hands. Amy is at your feet, knocked out by what you now see is some kind of rubber ball\beanbag contraption, and Dani is who-knows-where. Your powersuit, unworn, stands by your side.

"So." Smokey said, pumping the rifle. You hear it clack menacingly. "Allison Templar, once thought dead, showed up in this city several hours ago and stole a small object. And then you, Dave Davis Davidson, otherwise known as Bullfrog, David J. Whiliker, or 'Tentacled Fuck' helped her. I found her, captured her, and searched her. She did not have it. You assisted her- so you have it."

He pointed his gun at your head. Smoke wafted from his wrists, swirling into strange pumps in the hilt of the rifle.
"Empty your inventory." He said.

rolled 20 = 20

>>20048992
Teleport behind him and jam some mono-knives in uncomfortable places.

>>20048992
Does power armour have pockets?
Do we have to take it off to get at our stuff?
"I don't have it on me. I'll take you to it if you free the girl."

rolled 77 = 77

>>20049034
gimme them dice you fool.

"I don't know what you're talking about but sure thing!"

>>20048992
"You could have asked before knocking out my girlfriend. But here you go."
Give him some of the computer's remains we picked up.

Then proceed to kick his ass. He hurt amy.

>>20049048
>You're not wearing your power armor- you'd taken it off last thread, and it's been following you around in butler-mode.

You quickly teleport behind him, leaving your unworn suit where it stands, and jab monoblades from each hand toward his back.
His reaction. . .is instantaneous. Literally, he starts moving as soon as you do. Almost faster, it seems. He twists away from you, moving in lateral ways you're sure are impossible without an augment like Sigma's, smoke trailing from his limbs.

"I'll only ask once more." He said, and pointed the rifle at you again. "And then I'll call in the heavies and have them deal with you and Tolstoy."

File: 1343329167378.gif-(94 KB, 176x208, MonopolyTycoon_animated_1(...).gif)

>>20049059
financially bankrupt all you suckers

rolled 12 = 12

>>20049081
"And if you don't back off I'll call in /my/ heavies and bombard your bases from orbit until there is nothing left of ArmaTek but some craters."
Feint with the knives and drive him towards a wall.

>>20049081
Nice moves, Smokey. Whatever, you can have it. I left it at EE.

>>20049081
Just show him the broken computer. Then get Amy somewhere safe and save Dani.

Disintegrate him from orbit.

It's the only way to be sure.

>>20049104
>12
Just stop trying to fight.

>>20049133
You can't say anything since you aren't helping.
Exabyte takes the average anyway.

>>20049104
Stop that, it's not helping.

>>20049081
"I don't have it, man. She never let go of it, didn't even want to tell me what it was."

>>20049150
I'm helping by trying to talk instead of trying to get ourselves killed horribly.

"And if you don't back off, I'll call in *my* heavies and bombard your bases from orbit until there is nothing left of Armatek but some craters." You say.

"What, with your single spacecraft?" He asked. "Unlikely, even with that disintegration cannon you have. It lowers your shields when you use it, doesn't it?"

"I don't have it, man. She never let go of it. Didn't even want to tell me what it was." You lie, smoothly.

And then he scowled, and put a finger to his ear. "Send them. We have three people to pick up. Cyborgs.
You hear the tell-tale sound of choppers arriving.
"You'll be able to talk to our interrogators." He said.
There's a burst of static, and suddenly the connection with Amy is back up. She's awake. She messaged you in short, terse sentences.
<I'll stay prone. Distract them, then we surprise attack.> She said.

Tell him what really happened to it. "The crystal thing, right? She shot it with a rifle. It's a fine dust inside EE's break room."

>>20049205
><I'll stay prone. Distract them, then we surprise attack.>
<Affirmative.>

Start throwing chairs at him. And notify Azure of our current situation. If she wants to test the combat capabilities of her new body, now is probably the right time.

rolled 36 = 36

>>20049251
Are we supposed to roll for our suggestions? If so, here's mine.

It's like Exabyte waits for us to take off our power armor before fucking with us with an ambush.

rolled 22 = 22

>>20049205
we need to keep him confused. Fire in wider than normal spreads.

>>20049266
>>20049261
Nah, we only roll for bullshit hacking.

>>20049205
Oh for fuck's sake. Get Azure and whoever else can get here on short notice to come and back us up.
And how the hell does he know the specs of our ship?

rolled 9 = 9

horrible rolls today.
Have the suit start firing on the helicopters.

rolled 92 = 92

>>20049205
"Heh. I'd be interested to know how you know about my ship, but your knowledge is outdated. I have much more powerful relativistic weaponry now."
'Drite foo

>>20049311
Just for clarity 'Drite Foo is like Kung Foo, but sharper and with more limbs.

<Affirmative.> You say, looking out across both sides of the abandoned street.

The choppers got closer.
Quickly, with augmented speed, you tear a nearby signpost out of the ground, and just *wing* it at Smokey. He weaves below it, bending at the knees and hips, as it sails above his head. You urge the suit to start firing at the choppers, plasma bolts slamming into them.
"Drop the heavies." He said, and the lightly-damaged choppers dropped four enormous, bulky, superheavy power suits, made of what looks like damn *concrete*.

Now, Amy is many things. A teenage girl with a fetish for plasma weaponry, a genius when it comes to power shields, an eccentric mercenary who once used outdated, gunpowder-based guns...
Verne and Grayson always tried to impress on you exactly how high her killcount was, and how good she was in combat, but you'd seen very little of it.
Until now. She leapt to her feet, heatsinks shunting out of the back of her legs, and she pounced onto one of the heavies, slamming two small, glimmering green devices on it, before leaping away, Hydra already in hand as she started firing at a second heavy.

The devices exploded into plasma, and the heavy went down.
"Well. Would you look at that." Smokey said, looking at the heavy with the gaping chest wound, and a massive crater in his armor.

In response, you urge the suit to blast him with plasma while he's distracted- He's facing away from it, so he never had a chance.
The drites point toward him, and tear into his back, flesh sizzling as he roars.

<I got the heavies.> Amy said, doing a backflip over the second heavy, who was trying (and failing) to draw a bead on her with its chaingun.

>>20049339
<Always going for the easy targets? No wonder your killcount is so high, dear.">

>>20049339
"You can still pull out Smokey. I'm feeling generous today. Keep it up and all you'll get is a nasty expense report with nothing to show for it. Just release Dani and walk away and we'll leave you alone. As it is even if you win this fight you won't get your crystal back, since neither of us have it anyway."

>>20049339
Make sure there'll be enough of this guy left to interrogate him.

rolled 80 = 80

>>20049339
I guess that means we're on Smokey. He is apparently fucking fast, but he can't be as fast as teleporting all the time, just start jumping around as quickly as the teleporter can charge, blasting and slashing him from all angles.

rolled 62 = 62

>>20049339
Why not just shut his shit down?

>>20049433
>The teleporter can't charge that quickly.

<Always going for the easy targets? No wonder your killcount is so high, dear.>

"You can still pull out, Smokey." You say, as Amy wrestles with the second heavy, hanging on its back. It seems she's trying to choke him out with the signpost you'd thrown. Huh. Smokey pushes himself to his feet, black smoke weaving around his body, forming into two handguns.

"Keep at it, and all you'll get is a nasty expense report with nothing to show for it. Just release Dani and walk away and we'll leave you alone." You say. "As it is, even if you win this fight, you won't get your crystal back, since neither of us have it anyway."

"Oh, I don't believe that for a *second*." He snarled. ". . fine. We're moving out."
He put a hand to his ear. "Let the girl go." He said. "She doesn't have it anyway."
He skulked toward the helicopter, which, despite the slagged armor, still seemed functional.
"Heavies, come on. Set the body to self-destruct."
"Yessir." The second heavy said, despite the way Amy was clinging to his back.

>>20049453
Because if he is that aware of our capabilities he probably has some kind of countermeasures. Plus we don't know what that smoke does.

>>20049463
Make sure the heavy doesn't try anything funny on Amy. Then contact Azure and Abel. See if they can get us some info on these guys.

>>20049463
<Let's go Amy.>
"Hey Smokey, where's she at anyway?"

>>20049463
Once we've got Dani back, it's time to do some further retrofitting to Sleipnir and give her some sister ships.

>>20049463
I think it's time to get out of the explosion radius Amy in tow. Then retrieve Dani.

I think we should find the Armatek base and introduce them to what happens when you take a telephone pole made of tungsten and throw it at them. The transport costs are negligible with the tech we have.

>>20049463
See if the new scanning function can give us a clue about what has been done to this guy.

>>20049463
>As quickly as the teleporter can charge
>The teleporter can't charge that quickly
Interesting. I guess you mean it's not fast enough to be effective. How long does it take to charge?

<Let's go, Amy.>
<Hmph. Fine.> Amy said, and let go of the heavy. The heavy knelt toward it's cratered comrade, and slammed something into his chest.
"Hey, Smokey, where's she at, anyway?"
"She was at the graveyard, talking to herself at her brother's grave. Still there, tranquilized." He said. He motioned toward the body. "You two might want to get out of the blast radius."

Suddenly, the cratered heavy burst into light, vaporizing the body entirely, until it was little more than ash. The rest of the heavies climbed on board.
While Smokey turns away, you turn on your precision scanning device. You see little more than cables woven about his body, similar to Project Immortal, but. . subtly different somehow.
"When I figure out how." Smokey said, not facing either of you. "I'm going to kill both of you. Good day."

The chopper started to lift off.

>>20049516
If they start shit. Which is highly likely.
So we should prepare a super-orbital tungsten rod launcher.
I say super-orbital because they might be able to hit it if it is within orbit.

>>20049570
Yell out
"That's what Project Immortal said. I'm sure you can find a video of that fight."

>>20049570
Okay, first thing get Amy.
Have Abel dig up whatever he can on these guys.
Ask Azure if she'd be willing to manufacture probes so we can scout for possible locations of extra planetary/solar bases for us. Just in case Valhalla stops being a viable retreat.

>>20049617
>Okay, first thing get Amy.
Meant to write Dani, sorry.

>>20049570
Get our armor back on and go get Dani.

I think we should try and locate the Arma-Tec board of directors. We can hold them hostage from orbit if necessary.

>>20049570
>"When I figure out how." Smokey said, not facing either of you. "I'm going to kill both of you. Good day."
Oh no! This is not a good start to our friendship.

If he's going to say things like that then we don't really have any choice but to kill him before he figures out how.

Can we disintegrate them from orbit whilst they're in the air?

>>20049468
>Plus we don't know what that smoke does.
Looks like nano-compilers, to me.

>>20049617
Mmmm, thanks for reminding me. We need to buy a shit-ton of Nano-Meta from VanCo so that we have enough for the massive projects we're about to get started on.

>>20049649
That's pretty obvious, but I don't know if Dave can hack that very well. It's likely that he is using the other quantum computer to coordinate them, and I doubt Dave has the RAM so to speak to wrest control of that quite yet.

>>20049548
> It can only use three charges an hour- one charge for a 'person-size' of mass. The power suit is one, and you're one, so most times when you teleport, you expend two charges. It's alium tech, so most of it function is unknown, which is why you can't speed up the recharge time.

"That's what Project Immortal said!" You cry. "I'm sure you can find a video of that fight!"
"I already have." He responds. "Kell wasn't that good of an agent, anyway."
He saluted you, and the chopper took off.

You slip back into your suit, and Amy grimaces. "I need more of those plasma bombs." She said. "didn't know I could trigger them with my implant 'til now."

"Let's go get Dani." you say.
"Right." Amy nods.

You find Dani unconscious, still gagged, lying on a bench, arms and legs tied.
<Abel, let's talk.> You say, opening up a connection.
<Yeah?> Abel asked.
<ArmaTek. Any chance you could research them?>
<Might as well.> Abel said. <I'll try my best, Dave.>

>>20049723
You know the gig stay safe, get me info, these people have incurred my displeasure. I think I'm going to eradicate them.

>>20049723
Untie Dani and take out the gag. Wait for a few minutes to see if she'll wake up. I doubt she will, so carry her back to the EE building and port back to Valhalla from there.

>>20049723
Untie her and carry her out. Do keep her arms secured though. We don't need her waking up and wildly swinging about with that kind of strength.

>>20049723
<And be careful. Don't break Dani's heart :P>

>>20049723
I'm kinda surprised the tranquilisers worked on her.

<You know the gig. Stay safe, get me info.> You say.
You quickly untie Dani, and just that small amount of movement wakes her up. Blearily, she opens her eyes.
"Dave and Amy." She says, squinting. "Hello."
<Whatever they pumped into her wasn't much.> Amy said. <Or maybe her alium constitution is stronger against drugs. Or something.>

The two of you bring her back to EE, during which time she wakes up more completely. By the time you get there, she's completely awake.
"So, there I was, telling Alli that I didn't hate her," Dani said, as you walk into the building. "And then something stabbed me in the neck, and everything went all 'vwoom' and dark."

>>20049857
Don't worry about it Dani. Your Big Bro took care of it and is probably going to turn their company into a smoking crater.

Now let's get you home kiddo, we've all had a long day.

Give her a hug and ruffle her hair.

>>20049857
"Smokey tranked you and then came to threaten me for the crystal. We got him to back off, but methinks it's time for me to build that orbital bombardment array I was joking about awhile back."

>>20049857
They were looking for the crystal. At least now they know you don't have it, but they think I do.

"They were looking for the crystal." You say. "At least now they know you don't have it, but they think I do."

She frowned.
"Is that my fault?" She asks. ". . I'm sorry. I didn't mean to drag you into this. That's why . . that's why I didn't tell you what I was planning."

"Don't worry about it, Dani. Let's get us home- we've all had a long day." You say.
<Azure.>

A large, already-charged evac teleporter appears. It whistles, then teleports you, Dani, and Amy back to Valhalla.

"Welcome back." Lucca said. She looked. . very unhappy.

>>20049985
"What's up? You don't look too happy."

>>20049985
"What's wrong?"
<Azure, did something happen?>

>>20050003
"Are you upset we left you behind?"

"What's up? You don't look too happy."
"Of course I don't look happy." Lucca says, frowning. "First you say that we're going to send a message about the mindcore to those AI ships, so I get into my power suit. When I come back, you're gone. Completely. At least say something, Dave."

>>20049985
"That look isn't good. What's up?"

>>20050023
I thought I left a note.

Sorry about that Lucca, I didn't have much of a chance, Dani was getting shot at so I was in a bit of a hurry.

Look, let's just have a group hug and then I'll make a stack of pancakes over a foot tall for us to share.

>>20050023
Didn't we put a note on the fridge?
"Sorry, Dani was in mortal danger. I... kinda acted without thinking first. Sorry. We brought ice cream, though."

>>20050023
"I left a message with Talos...and told him to give it to any visitors. And you're not a visitor, you're a resident. Oops."

>>20050023
"Ouch. Sorry about that. It's the whole 'instantly be anywhere' thing. It makes it too convenient to just up and leave."

>>20050023
"I... Shit. Sorry. ArmaTek jumped Dani, I panicked."

"I... shit. Sorry. ArmaTek jumped Dani, I panicked." You say. "Sorry. We did bring ice cream, though."
". . I accept your peace offering." She said, and grabbed one of the ice cream tubs- Mint, you notice. "At least I got my smurf account made, so I wasn't *entirely* bored." She said. "Next time ArmaTek jumps someone, bring me in. I don't have the UDW for nothing, you know."

>>20050127
Well they'll probably be trying to jump someone eventually. I pissed them off pretty badly.

>>20050127
Good.

The people who went after Dani are probably going to be back sometime, it's ArmaTek, I think that I have another company to wipe out. I've done it once I can do it again.

Oh, Amy got a Bullfrog implant. It's not quite as awesome as mine, but it's far less buggy and it won't turn her brain into goop, which is a plus.

>>20050127
"I will. It seems like we even managed to make a new arch-enemy today. Guy with lots of smoke. Ever met him?"

"Well, they'll probably be trying to jump someone eventually. I pissed them off pretty badly."
"What'd you do?"
"I, uh. . destroyed their shinies." Dani said, apologetically.
"It also seems like we managed to make a new arch-enemy today. Guy with lots of smoke. Ever met him?"
"He smokes? Like. . cigarettes?" Lucca asked.
"No, like pumps in his wrist and shoulders and stuff." Amy said. "Formed into weapons."
"Like. . nanobots." Lucca said, her eyes suddenly turning hard. "Damn nanobots, always fucking shit up. When you fight this guy, count me in."

"Oh, yeah, Amy got a bullfrog implant." You say. "It's not quite as awesome as mine, but it's far less buggy and won't turn her brain into goop, which is a plus."
Amy beams, and weaves the small 'drite you'd given her around her arm, waving it back and forth.
"I'm happy with it." Amy says.

>>20050232
Fear the Tentacle couple, we shall crush all who stand before us with the power of love, and plasma.

We should start eating some ice cream, hold the spoon in the largest drite we have for this.

>>20050232
I'm sure everybody's hungry. Can Dave cook? And see if we can get the solar system scouted. I'd hate to be surprised by an ArmaTek base on Venus.

>>20050232
Start a long discussion with Lucca wha Future Commander and Future Annihilation and a million times better than FutureCraft.

"I'm sure everybody's hungry." You say. "I'll make something for everyone."
"Well, I for one am starving." Amy said, kissing your helmet. "Thanks, Dave."

While you make up some eggs, you hear Lucca explaining the basics of Futurecraft to Dani. "See, the GDI have their tanks and all, and the Terran are badass with their marines, but the Core's drones surpass all." She said. "And those are just the human races, but everything else is so imba it's no fun to play."
Dani, despite not knowing exactly what 'imba' meant, nodded.
"The underdogs are the best." She said. "That way, in a battle against those Tau fuckers or even Nod, they're cheering for me, as opposed to the fuckers with the stealth everything."

Soon enough, you finish up the eggs.
<Let's see...> Amy said, and you feel something tickling at your ribs again, as she focuses. <Feel that? Heh, heh. . .>

>>20050367
<HUEHUEHUE>
Start tickling her feet. Since we are actually working through her spine it should work, even if she can't feel her feet. Hooray for phantom limbs!

>>20050367
Oh ho ho Dear, is this a battle you want to start? I have a serious advantage, I'm wearing full powered armor.

Strike back, start mentally tickling her neck, ribs, behind the knees and ears.

>>20050367
<Yep. I do.>
See if we can make Amy's ear itch.

"Say, Lucca, how much better does your implant make you at that game? And how did you manage to get yourself banned?"

>>20050367
Tickle her feet. She won't be expecting that, seeing as she doesn't have any. We can still trigger the nerves though, right?

>>20050367
transmit tongue into amys butt.

>>20050387
We should be able to trigger phantom nerves.
So yes.

<Yep, I do.> You say. <Huehuehue.>
"Say, Lucca, how much better does your implant make you at that game?" You ask. "And how did you manage to get yourself banned?"
"Well, I got banned because they were positive I was using AI support. Which I wasn't." she said, frowning. You start tickling Amy's feet, knees, ribs, and ears. "It's just that my implant makes things... a lot easie-"
Amy eeps, audibly, and starts giggling to herself.
"Amy? You okay?" Dani asked.
Lucca eyed you. "Are you. . Are you bullshit hacking your girlfriend?"

>>20050439
"No, I was invited."

>>20050439
No, no bullshit hacking involved. I'm just tickling her via Implant Radio.

>>20050439
She started it.

Test.

rolled 8 = 8

Tongue in butt

>>Whoops, at least that delay's over. Let's get back to it, shall we?

"She started it." You say, as Amy starts squirming against nothing, her face going bright red.
"So, she got the bullfrog so you two can have more sexual escapades." Lucca said, deadpan. "What, got bored of the mechandrites?"
You suddenly get a mental image from Amy, of a design of new mechandrites, made of synthetic muscle, with synthetic skin, and-
Amy suddenly cuts off the connection, bright red.
"Let's. . Let's eat." She said.

Dani now looked entirely lost.

"Jealous, Lucca?" You ask. "You do realize this is something all of the Gen-3s should be able to do?"
"Not my UDW." Lucca said. "My implant's designed on giving me kinesthetic, audial, and visual information. No actual ... sensation. Two of the needles are mostly duds."

>>20050474
You're in the wrong quest, anon

>>20050475
So I can't hack you to distract you if i need to beat you in Futurecraft? That's a shame.

>>20050475
Woohoo, its back.

If you want you could probably have KI and EE work together for a UDW Bullfrog, no reason why they couldn't be put together.

rolled 55 = 55

>>20050475
Lasers don't mean shit to shields right? how expensive would it be to make a MASSIVE laser and just tele bombard people we hate?

>>20050439
If you're that much better than everyone, it would probably have got boring pretty quickly anyway. Maybe you could try playing against Azure.

"So I can't hack you to distract you if I need to beat you in futurecraft? That's a shame."
"If you're going to hack me, why not just hack the game and give yourself eight thousand requisition or something." She said.
"You know, if you want, you could-"
Amy kicked your shin- Well, virtually. In reality she's still bright red, staring down at the table.
"If you're that much better than everyone, it would probably have gotten boring pretty quickly anyway. Maybe you could try playing against Azure."
"Huh, I didn't even think of that." Lucca said, and turned to one of the intercoms. "Hey, Azure, come play futurecraft with me. I have icecream!"
". . . I don't eat ice cream." Azure responded.
"Dave'll make you an ice cream simulator." She said.
". . I'll come down." Azure said.

rolled 7 = 7

>>20050478
You're right.

>Do it anyway.

>>20050475
Well if it's hooked into your spine it intercepts nerves right? Then it should be possible. It's all phantom feeling anyway.

>>20050525
Not with those kinds of rolls you won't.

rolled 36 = 36

>>20050553
With this kind of roll I will.

>See roll.

rolled 55 = 55

>>20050524
Rolling to make a computer program that tastes like ice cream, I guess.

>>20050524
<Could you please stop doing that? It hurts, just in case you already forgot after getting your old legs back."

>>20050524
That's great Azure, now I have to work out how to simulate ice cream.

I think I'm just going to sample all of the ice creams we have, throw my memories at my AIs to parse into the different sensory elements of it and then compile it so Azure can try any flavor she wants.

>>20050570
Failure.

rolled 33 = 33

>>20050570
>>20050571
Rolling for these.

Mostly the tongue in butt.

Digitally, of course.

We should get one specialized drone to follow us around at all times. Give it stealth, and the best sensor arrays we can get. That way it can look out for ambushes, like what happened with Smokey, and warn us ahead of time.

>>20050585
>8, 7, 36, 33
Yeah, you're bad at putting tongues in butts. Really bad.

rolled 22 = 22

Rollan to bullshitmagicalhack Lucca's implant to allow transmission of sensation.

rolled 15 = 15

>>20050600
I'm also bad at it in real life.
The girls don't like it as much as you would think.
>"WRONG HOLE!!"

Lets try tongue in butt again.

rolled 49 = 49

>>20050606
Pffft, not with a roll like that.

rolled 92 = 92

>>20050606
I like this.
>>20050612
Well now my failure rate is as bad as in real life.

Let me see if my success rate can exceed my IRL success rate.

>>20050475
>Two of the needles are mostly duds."
"Ever considered getting an upgrade? Amy, Jun, and Azure managed to make the whole process a lot more efficient, and less painful too.

rolled 95 = 95

>>20050606
Goddamnit

<Could you please stop doing that? It hurts, just in case you already forgot after getting your old legs back.>
< . . Don't worry, Dave.> She said, with a peculiar sense of satisfaction. <I'll make it up to you. Promise.>
The white noise thickens, as she masks her own side of the connection, no doubt to hide her own plots and plans.
<And no, don't do anything with my butt.> She added, as an afterthought.

"Well. . ." You say, looking down at the tubs of ice cream. "Time for me to make a computer program that tastes like ice cream."
You taste a few, and rockyroad.exe is already done by the time Azure had come down, cables twisted and gnarled around her body.
"I was working on me." Azure said, and tilted her head. "Amy, do you have any old records of Vermillion? I'd like to use it."
"Vermillion? I'm sure I have a backup, but. . didn't he try to eat everything?" Amy asked.

rolled 2 = 2

Rolling to "fix" Lucca's implant to be sexy-times compatible with bullshit hacking.

rolled 12 = 12

>>20050625
>>20050637
Well even if no tongues go into butts at least lucca gets hacked.

>>20050640
Well, time to disable our side of the connection as well, I guess.

"Don't ask me. It was your pda."

>>20050640
Azure, I trust that you know what you're doing. You haven't ever failed me yet.

But I would like to ask what you're planning on doing with the AI that went crazy and tried to eat everyone?

Also would you like some digital ice cream?

"Azure, I trust that you know what you're doing. You haven't ever failed me yet." You say, cutting off your own side of the connection. "But, I would like to ask what you're planning on doing with the AI that went crazy and tried to eat everyone. Also, would you like some digital ice cream?" You ask, and wirelessly send the program to her.
"Of course." She said. ". . Hmm."

She was silent for a long moment.

"Vermillion was devoted to understanding and empathizing human facial and bodily expressions." Azure said. "So I'm planning on integrating his knowledge, and dumping his personality tags. That way, I can have a face of my own."

>>20050719
Is it possible to lobotomize him, so there's no contest?

>>20050719
"Neat. Your the expert when it comes to AI development, but don't be shy to ask if you need help."

Ask Amy if she'd be willing to design a few probes to explore the solar system. An extra-planetary Valhalla 2 could be rather useful.

>>20050719
Make sure to lobotomize him, remove everything evil about him. Also mind if I come with on this? Just in case anything goes wrong.

When we're done with that could you send me a copy of the data? I'm not bad with faces but having a lie detector could be useful.

>>20050719
You know what we should get her? Some legal rights so she actually counts as a person and can own stuff and it's not ok to murder her. I don't really know how we'd do that.

>>20050719
What's her favourite flavour?

>>20050774
We live in Antarctica. There is no government, and therefore no "legal" except what locals decide.
She counts as a person in Davetopia, and that's all that matters.

>>20050774
Humans do theoretically have legal rights, and we've been killing them by the boatload so far.

>>20050790
Which means we can consider Valhalla a sovern state.

>>20050790
Yes, and space is lawless too. I guess it's fine. But I believe we still technically live with Grayson, not in Antarctica.

"Is it possible to lobotomize him, so there's no contest?"
"Oh, don't worry." Azure said. "I'm not planning to integrate. I plan to read his code line by line, intelligently plucking out his mind. So yes, I'm essentially lobotomizing him."
You quickly finish napoleon.exe and send it to Azure.
"I like rocky road better." She said.
"Right on." Lucca said.

You examine the UDW in her back. . and then a wicked plan enters your mind. You close your eyes, and reach into it. The software you find is barebones, but you do have records of what Amy's mark two felt like. . You simply snip parts off, transfer one to the other. . and then activate it.

Lucca suddenly collapsed, moaning loudly, eyes rolling into the back of her head as she twitched, gurgling.
You . . quickly turn down the settings on the UDW as she twitches, before she settles down.

rolled 60 = 60

>>20050817
Dictator Dave

>>20050822
whoops.
"Lucca you alright?"

>>20050822
Tadaa. You now have the worlds first and only UDW/Bullfrog hybrid. Feel free to get into cybernetic tickle and pillow fights with Amy.

rolled 72 = 72

>>20050822
Damnit! Always ask permission before messing with a friend's implants. I thought we learnt that already.

Maybe see if we can edit her memory to forget we just did that.

rolled 82 = 82

>>20050822
"Are you okay? Tell me, can you feel this?"

Tongue in butt.

>>20050834
High Lord Dave.
Fabricator-General Dave.

>>20050850
No no no no no, that's even worse.

>>20050822
Sorry, probably should have warned you before I did that.

>>20050851
Also no, we are putting no tongues in no butts. At least not right now.

rolled 73 = 73

>>20050842
Yes!

>>20050822
Huh, what did we do to Lucca?
Please don't tell me you actually took that suggestion with the 2.

>>20050851
No tongues in no buts.

rolled 75 = 75

>>20050858
yes yes yes yes yes' that's even better.

>FTFY

No butt tongues please.
>Your fetish is not my fetish

"Lucca, you alright?"
"mhpmhmh." She responded "That. . ." She said, panting heavily, now covered in sweat. ". . . among other things. . hurt. Really hurt. What in Kane's name did you *do*?"
"Tadaa. You now have the worlds first and only UDW/Bullfrog hybrid."
". . So now I'll feel pain every time an SCV dies." She said, angrily. "What the fuck, dave?"

rolled 34 = 34

>>20050885
It's not my fetish. I find it funny. I do not find it sexy.
I didn't actually mean it when I said I had done it in real life.
That's what people call a joke.

>>20050907
You can just turn the pain off, you know.
How do you think I have surgery when I can't be put under?

>>20050907
"No. It means you can completely control pain. I guess you could make it so you feel your drones if you wanted, but I wouldn't suggest it."

>>20050907
I don't tend to think these things through.

You can completely modulate how much or little sensation goes through on it. You don't have to feel the little guys die.

>>20050907
It shouldn't work like that, You can always cut out pain. I did make the interface modular for you, remember?

rolled 10 = 10

>>20050907
Tongue in butt.

rolled 59 = 59

>>20050907
Ah...yeah, I didn't think of that. I think I can put a cutout in there between you and the SCVs.

>>20050912
>I find it funny
It's not funny when you say it every other minute. Then it's just annoying.

Seriously tongue butt guy. This isn't MSQ. Stop it.

>>20050907
"I'm sorry. I have no clue what came over me."

>ಠ_ಠ OP

sage for shitty thread

rolled 70 = 70

>>20050953
Tongue in butt.

Whoah, that was SERIOUSLY crossing the line with Lucca. We should not just be going into peoples shit and messing around without their express permission, even if it is an upgrade, and even if it didn't hurt her.
That is seriously crossing a line.

rolled 2 = 2

>>20050975
Dave must cross all the lines.

>Including tongue in butt.

>>20050975
I'm not even sure if that was a serious suggestioni in the first place.

I, for one, don't like asshole Dave.

>>20050975
I agree. No clue why we actually did that.

>>20050975

lol so random XD

"No, it means you can completely control pain. I guess you could make it so you feel your drones if you wanted, but I wouldn't suggest it."
"Damnit, that's not the point, Dave." She said. "Don't fuck with people's implants without their permission. Even if it was an upgrade or even if you threw in some kind of stimulation program, that's still crossing the line."

She tore the UDW out of her back, and threw it down on the table, the needles pointing upward menacingly.
"Fix it."
Lucca turned around, and stormed off.

>>20050975
Yeah, the upgrade is nice but we should have asked first. You don't just spring it on someone out of the blue like that.

rolled 91 = 91

>>20051020
fix it.

> tounges in butts
> not a sicko fetish quest like MSQ

yeah right

I would like to suggest that our excuse is that it was completely reversible, and seemed funny at the time.

>>20051020
Fix it, apologize profusely for a moment of utter and complete stupidity and assholeness on our part.

rolled 46 = 46

>>20051020
Well shit. I hope you learned your lesson, anons.

Fix it. return it EXACTLY as it was, maybe with an apology note, and possibly a ticket to a Futurecraft tournament attached.

>>20051036
You'll notice that Exabyte hasn't actually acknowledged any of those posts, other than to tell him no.
Or maybe you won't, but whatever.

>>20051046
The only lesson I've learned from this is to reply to every retarded suggestion with "NOPE."

rolled 80 = 80

>>20051020
Make a perfect copy then fix the original. Then write a note saying we'll put our tongue in her butt anytime she wants it.

>>20051046
>I hope you learned your lesson, anons.
But it was Udz's idea. And it was a decent idea if we'd actually done it properly instead of Exabyte waiting several updates afterwards and then suddenly going in dry.

>>20051020
Fix her implant, then see if we can get her original account un-banned, and make sure it won't get banned again.

I'm sure we know somebody. Or at least somebody who knows somebody.

>>20051100
or we just hack the servers.

>>20050991
It was a serious suggestion, but I did forget the, "Hey Lucca, what about if I…"

Go apologize to Lucca immediately, say we don't know what came over us, weren't thinking, didn't mean any harm, etc.

>Could you guys cut it out with the tongue in butts crap, please?

You hone in again on the UDW, and quickly return it back to the way it'd been.
"Should I go talk to her?" Dani asked, starting to stand. "She is my roommate."

Amy just sighed. "Dave. . That was pretty crappy." She said. "You go apologize."
You nod, get up, and walk toward her room- The door's open, and you see Lucca fuming, glaring at the wall, fists clenched.

>Wat say?
>Whee greentext choice!

Sorry, the voices in my head are having some sort of autistic field day.

>>20051142
AFTER returning it to its previous specs.

>>20051146
I'm sorry.

Then offer a peace gift. Tickets to a Futurecraft tournament and a free teleporter anywhere.

>>20051146
"Sorry about that Lucca. It seemed funny at the time, and doing things like at is so easy for me that it's easy to just do it without thinking. It's completely back to normal now though."

>>20051146
First, take off the helmet. Look at her with our actual eyes.
"Lucca, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to disregard your feelings, I just...wasn't thinking. I realize now I crossed a line. I promise to you that will never happen again."

>>20051171
things like *that*

rolled 45 = 45

>>20051146
Tongue in butt will make everything better.

>>20051146
First make sure we're not wearing our faceless helmet.

Lucca, I fucked up. I was a complete asshole and honestly I deserve to be smacked upside the head. I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have violated your personal space like that or done anything like that without asking permission. Is there anything I can do to start to make it up to you?

File: 1343358693733.png-(158 KB, 412x500, Illya unhappy.png)

>>20051146
>you guys
>implying it isn't just that one guy

>Wat say?
>implying I have words for how stupid that was


This thread is not a good thread.

>>20051146
"Lucca, listen. I'm sorry. I wasn't intending for it to actually be on. I was going to put in the function, then tell you to fiddle with it and try it out. I fucked up the bullshit hacking and it switched on immediately. And it switched on way higher than I intended it to be. The UDW's fixed, in any case, so no need to worry about sensational overload from your drones. I can turn it back with a little more finesse later if you want to try the UDW-Bullfrog hybrid.."

>>20051146
"Lucca...I'm sorry. I really did not think that through all the way. I should have realized that your implant is as much a part of you as mine is of me."

>>20051146
"Hey. I'm... really sorry about that. You're right, I should have asked, and it's no real excuse, but you know how I am when I think I have a Great Idea, by now. I just do it, without thinking about what could happen. What I did is reverted, and if there's anything else I can do, let me know. Maybe I'll see if I can get you unbanned from future.net, too."

rolled 33 = 33

>>20051199
Ishelda disapproves of this thread.

>Sounds like she needs a tongue in her butt.

>>20051146
"Lucca.. I'm sorry. I returned your UDW to its original state...

I really don't know what came over me. I thought it was a great idea and acted before thinking about what I'd actually be doing. Messing with such an important of you, is inexcusable.

I consider you one of my closest friends. I'm sorry for hurting you, and using my abilities on your implant without asking first.

You have every right to be angry at me. I hope you'll be able to forgive me eventually. But if you don't, I can understand.

I'll leave now. I'm going to put your UDW here. Thanks for listening."

>>20051146
Look, I'll make it up to you! You can have Amy for a week. Two!

>>20051319
You're not even trying, are you?

Knocking on the door frame, you remove your helmet.
"Lucca, I fucked up." You say.
She met your eyes in a glare, but she said nothing. You take it as permission to continue, so you do.
"You're right, I should have asked, and it's no real excuse, but you know how I am when I think I have a Great Idea, by now. I just do it, without thinking about what could happen. What I did is reverted, and if there's anything else I can do, let me know."
"And?" She asks, her eyes still sharp.
"You have every right to be angry at me. I hope you'll be able to forgive me eventually. But if you don't, I can understand. I'll. . I'll leave now. Thanks for listening."
She nods, and spoke in clipped, terse words. "I'll think about it." She says.
After she stops speaking, there's a thoughtful silence in the wake of her words.
You leave the room, and make your way back to the kitchen.
"How'd it go?" Amy asked.

>>20051360
"Could've been worse, could've been better. I feel like an asshole."

>>20051360
"Okay. I think I reduced the anger level a bit."

>>20051360
"About as well can be expected, she didn't kick me out, and let me talk. I wonder if I can get her futurecraft account unbanned."

>>20051360
"Better than I deserved, I guess."

>>20051360
About as well as could be expected, which is to say not very well. I'm a complete ass.

Could you please punch me in the face, it might make me feel a bit better.

>>20051360
About as well as could be expected when you do something that stupid that I guess.

>>20051360
Errr....

I'm still in the naughty book, and I might be out by say <look at watch> next century.

>>20051360
"She's still pissed I accidentally overloaded her brain fiddling with the UDW and 'upgrading' it. But she's not furious anymore. I'm starting to wonder if I'm responsible enough to keep this Bullfrog. I always end up in deeper and deeper shit when I use it, then overcome it, and then get myself in shit again. It's a vicious cycle."

>>20051360
She's still pissed, and I really don't blame her. But she listened to me and said she'd think about it, so I don't think our friendship is damaged beyond repair.

>>20051360
Call Lucas. Tell him we really screwed up and need a way to make up with his sister.

>>20051360
You know, sometimes I wonder if I can act responsibly with so much power. I think I'll have to do some thinking as well.
I never really get the time to reflect. Once our current stuff is resolved, I think I'd like to grab all my friends and fly off to some other planet with a wonderful climate and long, pristine beaches.

"Better than I deserved, I guess. Could've been worse, could've been better. I feel like an asshole." You say, and shrug. "I should probably call Lucas. Or maybe get her future.net account unbanned."

". . I think you should leave well enough alone, bro." Dani said. "You got into this mess by meddling, so I don't think the way out would be meddling."
"Yeah, let's just let her cool off." Amy said. "I do think she might still be angry about the way you left her behind, too."

>>20051474
I'm a complete jerk by way of impulsiveness. I always forget the most important details like leaving notes or asking permission.

Azure and the other AIs, could you create an AI that tells me when I'm forgetting something important or doing something severely impulsive and dumb?

>>20051474
Well I can only teleport so much about! And Dani was in trouble, I couldn't exactly wait.

Maybe we can set up a messageboard thing run by talos. Then everyone here can follow whenever they want.

>>20051474
"Hey Amy, open your connection, I want you to tell me what this 'sounds' like."
Then do the time stop thing.

>>20051474
"I think it really begins to show that I don't have a brain at the moment. Right?"

>>20051506
No, that will just melt our brain again. And possibly hers as well.

>>20051474
"Well, I meant trying to talk to customer service, or something, not bullshit hacking."

>>20051506
>more meddling with other people's brains
>this time, trying to share superhuman perception with someone not equipped to handle it
Stop being a goit, anon.

rolled 36 = 36

>>20051474
"eh what? left her behind where?"

>>20051474
"Hmm...
I think I have an idea. What if I got her a tour of FutureBlizzard? It's non-meddlesome and she can choose to bring whoever she wants."

>>20051506
I would think it would feel like all of his thoughts have sped way up. It would probably be unhealthy for her.

>>20051539
Read the thread, namefag.

>>20051539
>>20050023 & >>20050127.

>>20051539
Here, monotreeme, while we rushed off to play hero when Dani was being attacked.

rolled 46 = 46

>>20051539
When Dave put his tongue in Amy's butt.
Dave needs to put his tongue in Lucca's butt to make it right.

>>20051474
We should definitely stuff a sizeable portion of the fridge with mint flavored ice cream.

rolled 9 = 9

>>20051573
oh right...

>>20051555
I did, then I did a lot of other stuff IRL then I came back having forgotten stuff...

>>20051603
That's a safe idea, so long as she doesn't leave in the next 24 hours.

>>20051544
Seconding this.

>>20051544
>>20051603
Both of these would probably make good peace offerings, though she could see them as bribes as well, which would not be good.

The ice cream is probably a safe bet.
Just not personally. We should make an android, and send that.

rolled 36 = 36

>>20051629
yup.

we should do neither, yet.

the ice-cream for later maybe...

get her a dave-sized SCV later made out of Atom-goop even later maybe...

>>20051648
Nope. She'll find the ice cream the next time she opens the fridge. Everything else will probably piss her even more off.

Exabyte, where did we leave off regarding what we think is the mindcore on mars?

"Well, I meant trying to talk to customer service, or something, not bullshit hacking." You say.
"Yeah, I see what you mean, but she already got a smurf account." Dani said.
You shrug, and put a note in the bullfrog: Stuff the fridge full of mint ice cream. You'll need one hell of a peace offering.
"Hmm... I think I have an idea. What if I got her a tour of FutureBlizzard? It's non-meddlesome and she can choose to bring whoever she wants."
"No need." Lucca said, walking into the kitchen. She grabbed the UDW from the table. "I'll forgive you eventually. but I'm going to go visit Lucas for a bit. Chow."

She stopped, and turned to Amy.
"Can I borrow Muninn?"
"Yeah." Amy responded, and Lucca left, reattaching the UDW to her back

>>20051666
No I mean send the android to get more ice cream. Going personally is just asking to get ambushed.

>>20051671
"Well that was awkward."

>>20051671
bah, 50% success rate, loss of companion for next two quests. Well we could have done worse, i guess.

>>20051671
>Tickets

Just place them in an envelope and put it on her desk. If she doesn't want the tickets, she can throw them away.

rolled 13 = 13

>>20051671
now I feel like a heel...(bang face on table)...I need to do something...anything...

to the ship!
"phi, how goes the translation? and would you like to meet a member of my species that might have a priceless relic of another space-fairing species entirely?"

call Gareth Vanko "hello gareth, I wonder if you've had a chance to see what your number crunchers have to say about the new metal and the alium artifact"

>>20051671
Time to go do things we're good at. Bullshit hack some alien technology.

>>20051671
Amy, what would you say to forming Dave Inc.? We have enough tech and other stuff to make giant piles of patents to license out to KI/EE for money.

>>20051737
Because it went so well last time that Amy got her own brain melting implant.

rolled 88 = 88

>>20051749
oooohhh I LIKE IT

>>20051749
might be cool.

>>20051811
>>20051771
>>20051749
Guys, we have approximately zero profit margin. Dunno how well that'd work out.

"Well, that was awkward." You said.
"Yeah, it was." Amy said.
". . Hey, I get a room to myself for a bit, now." Dani said.

You click on the intercom. "Phi, how goes the translation?" You ask.
<<Still working. Not sleeping.>> Phi responded, his clicking slower than normal. <<Getting some work done. Not fast enough.>>

You shake your head, and turn to Amy.
"Amy, what would you say to forming Dave Inc? We have enough tech and other stuff to make giant piles of patents to license out to KI and EE for money."
". . I'm not sure that'd work for most of it." Amy said. "The plasma is all owned by this one small corp who never makes them, but they still hold the plasma. Power shields are still held- At least in name- by CD, and even the whole bullfrog thing is held by EE. All we have is the alium tech- the teleportation, and metalsmithing stuff from the alium ships. Second of all, it should be Tolstoy Inc."

>>20051818
What about Dave & Amy's Big Box of Tech?

>>20051818
"And why not Davidson inc?"

>>20051818
Okay, so we put your name on it. We could still license at least the metallurgy.

>>20051818
Alium Corp.

>>20051818
"Don't try too hard Phi, we're in no rush."

"We could go on another space-jaunt to find more technology. The Antenae aliens, emperors and AI ships can't be the only ones out there."

>>20051818
"Okay, how about this. Davidson-Tolstoy Solutions?"

>>20051818
"Well, we should probably do SOMETHING for some cash. What we have is only going to last so long, and I think I'm starting to scheme, and I need money for that."

>>20051818
We could easily mine planets for resources that are rare on earth.

>>20051818
But that ruins the whole naming scheme of putting Dave on everything!
And while you do do almost all the tech work, you didn't actually do either of the two things we can actually sell.

rolled 20 = 20

>>20051818
Tongue in Butt inc.

rolled 15 = 15

>>20051818
hey, I built that teleporter so I could save your ass.

(project image of said ass rocking a pair of tight jeans)

your rather fine ass I might add...

that said I gave the metalurgy to Van Co... I should probably call Gareth about that

rolled 46 = 46

>>20051902
And a picture of Dave's tongue going into dat ass.

"Well, we should probably do *something* for some cash. What we have is only going to last so long, and I think I'm starting to scheme, and I need money for that."
"You're right." Amy said. She rolled her shoulders. "I have some calls to make. I can find us a pretty massive job, no doubt."
"That said, I'm planning to give the metallurgy to Van Co." You say. "I should probably talk to Gareth about that."
"Oh" she asked. "What would we get from it?"
"The strange, alium ship sphere thing." You say. "I think it's the mindcore."
"Right." She says. "Want me to tag along?"

>>20051902
She doesn't wear pants, due to the augments. It's all skirts or shorts.

>>20051938
"I can't think of a reason why not."

>>20051938
"Only if you want to."

>>20051818
Davidson & Tolstoy.

We can still license that stuff, sell off the other space things we'll get. We also have the TK thing from CD, AI development, while EE may hold the bullfrog we can sell them the improved Bullfrog/UDW hybrid for a solid percentage of company stock. I'm sure it wouldn't be that hard to wipe CD's name off of the power shield thing and we can negotiate with the plasma people.

>>20051938
Sure, you can be the cute side of negotiations and I'll be the scary side.

>>20051938
If you want to.

rolled 33 = 33

>>20051912
I don't think we have a metal image of that to send...

>>20051878
"you got a problem? we can probably steal, pureee, crush, or otherwise destroy it"

>>20051938
Yes please. Warn me if I'm going to do something stupid, today has not been the smoothest.

Then open the headchannel and let the thoughts flow.

rolled 23 = 23

>>20051946
they make jeans-shorts...

>>20051991
Amy doesn't strike me as a daisy-duke type of girl.

>>20051938
And tell Dani you're leaving.

rolled 54 = 54

>>20052002
perhaps you have a point.

or we could both be nit picking...tight shorts are tight shorts, I said Jeans because it's what I start off thinking....

>>20052019
Right! Yes, tell Talos to notify people when we leave, and to where. And if we don't leave a note to prompt us to tell him when we try to leave.

"If you want to. You can be the cute side of negotiations, and I'll be the scary side."
"I rather think it's the other way around." Amy said. "After all, you are pretty cute."

"Erm. . " Azure started to say.
"Oh, right, here." Amy said, handing over a small disk. "Don't integrate it directly, and smash the disk when it's done."
"Right." Azure said, and nodded, walking away. She dragged cables long behind her, strewn about her half-assembled limbs.

"Well, let's go tell Dani we're leaving." You say.
"Sure thing." Amy said, giving you a kiss. She slipped on your helmet, then rolled toward Dani's room, the faceless helmet plugged into her bullfrog.
<You have a lot of peripheral vision with this helmet.> Amy said.