WELCOME TO STRIKE WITCHES: NOW RUNNING ON A CONCENTRATED MIXTURE OF COLUMBIA ROAST, PEPSI, AND SIX DIFFERENT KINDS OF ALCOHOL, IT'S YOUR HOST, PLAAAAAAAANEFAAAAAAAAG!Hey there kids. Last time on STRIKE WITCHES, somebody tried to wax your ass. And when you got away from the girls, some dude almost SLEW you, but Kathy blew his head off with her Colt Peacemaker. You're now lying prone in a maintenance staircase with Stupid Sexy Kathy and her smoking revolver. LET THE GAMES BEGIN!>You're so calm right now, this shit's almost routine.>You're so calm right now because you're in freaking shock.>Hey Kathy what's ARGHFLKUARGHARGLHARGH OHGOD
>Hey Kathy what's ARGHFLKUARGHARGLHARGH OHGODIt's our first assassination attempt. We're new to this.
IT BEGINS
>>20022382>ARGHFLKUARGHARGLHARGHwait mmmm marshmellows
>Hey Kathy what's ARGHFLKUARGHARGLHARGH OHGODIt's the sound your mind makes shifting gears without the clutch
>You're so calm right now, this shit's almost routine.IT BEGINS
>>20022382This shit's fucking routine.How many times have we almost died in the past two weeks? 20?
>Hey Kathy what's ARGHFLKUARGHARGLHARGH OHGODShit, people aren't supposed to REALY try to kill us on the ground!
Holy hell i'm here for the start of the thread, i feel so happy
>>20022437Almost dying? Lots.Some cloak and dagger bullshit intentionally trying to kill us? That's new.
>Hey Kathy what's ARGHFLKUARGHARGLHARGH OHGOD
>>20022464This as this wasn't in a plane doing some crazy ass stunt. Or facing down a Martian, but rather a fellow human.>Hey Kathy what's ARGHFLKUARGHARGLHARGH OHGOD
>Inb4 Panzer's Plush Eila
>>20022382Inb4 planefag goes on hiatus again
>Check catalog>First thread is SWQAw, hell yeah! Let the fun begin!>>20022382>Hey Kathy what's ARGHFLKUARGHARGLHARGH OHGODIf there's one thing we've established about our dear old MC, it's that he's anything but calm and composed when he's not in control of the situation, especially on the ground. We are on the ground, and we were very much not in control of what just happened. Engage War Emergency PANIC.
>Trying to talk with Deme over pm during the quest
>>Hey Kathy what's ARGHFLKUARGHARGLHARGH OHGODAlso, holy shit, dude. This is certainly a way to kick off your return.
Now I get to finally post this image
>>20022499Eila's not fat.
Fuck yeah i completely forgot
>>20022543
rolled 42 = 42>>20022382>You're so calm right now, this shit's almost routine.
>Hey Kathy what's ARGHFLKUARGHARGLHARGH OHGODI missed you planefag
>>20022499>He doesn't know I have yeagertits as well
>>20022658Too lewd
"... but bushwhackin's a different breed of cow. Pardner." Kathy finishes, blowing the smoke away from her Colt's muzzle with practiced ease. You stare at the busty blonde calmly, and decide to greet your savior politely. "Hey Kathy. What's ahaaahahrkfgff-" you state eloquently as your brain tries to shift without a clutch. Stripping the gears, your mental train of thought roars downhill as the entire analogy disintegrates into a relativistic ball of lunatism that smashes into a puppy orphanage, detonating with tremendous... what?Somebody's tapping you on the nose. "Hey. Hey. Listen.""Uwha?" you say, shaking your head. You're on Coney Island's latest thrill-ride, Adrenaline Crash, and it's one HELL of a ride. "Sorry, what?"Kathy is kneeling in front of you. "How many fingers am I holding up?"*That* is enough to rouse your wits. "I usually ain't checking out your fingers, Kathy." The blonde looks shocked for a second - then she seizes your collar and drags you into an arm-lock. "Naughty boys get the NOOOOOGIE!" she declares with glee, matching deeds to words. You flail helplessly, but she's got you locked down pretty damn good. >This is somebody else's problem. I just want back at the party.>This is my own personal big goddamn problem get me the hell out of here>this refers to the attempted assassination, of course, not the noogie. Well, that too. BUT MOSTLY THE ASASSIN THANG
>>20022727>This is somebody else's problem. I just want back at the party.We should be safer in numbers, and have reinforcements.
>>20022658>Eila's uniform isn't perfectWhat have you been doing to poor Eila, Panzer....
>This is my own personal big goddamn problem get me the hell out of hereSUMMON MISERABLE PISSANTSSearch the fucker before the blood ruins your uniform!
rolled 70 = 70>>20022727>This is somebody else's problem. I just want back at the party.Let someone else deal with this bullshit.
>This is somebody else's problem. I just want back at the party.Unwind some and then tell the girls about it maybe we'll get Minna as an escort.
rolled 20 = 20>Invasion of personal space is meeted with invasion of personal space. It's not her fingers you're usually touchin', PILOT.
>>20022727EPIC LOOT
Tonight! SUBWITCHES DOUBLE FEATURE!>>20022758SocksXCookie is my OTP <3 <3 <3(sorry)
>>20022727> Kathy is kneeling in front of you. "How many fingers am I holding up?"> *That* is enough to rouse your wits. "I usually ain't checking out your fingers, Kathy." I've missed you planefag~> This is someone else's problem> Also, don't be alone for the next few hours
>>20022812>SocksXCookie is my OTP <3 <3 <3Race traitor
> "I usually ain't checking out your fingers, Kathy."
>>20022792NO. Enough trouble's been made by going PILOT with cupcakes
>>20022812>actually reading Subwitches>1943I seriously hope you guys don't do thisAlso, that feel when planefag likes the shitty subwitches more then the superior Tonk witches
>>20022829
>>20022792>meeted
>>20022851>Implying you run TWQ at all ever
>>20022851panzer pls go
>>20022851YOU FORGOT SOMETHING PANZER
>>20022727>This is my own personal big goddamn problem get me the hell out of hereSomeone tried to shoot us, and it wasn't an Alium. Of course this is our goddamn problem
>>20022851LIES! Tonk witches are a myth!
>This is somebody else's problem. I just want back at the party.In times like these, we make like a tree and GTFO. We can't face this shit head-on, and bouncing something you don't know about is kinda hard! This is a job for the CIA, or FBI, or Scotland Yard or something, not a pilot. Our job is killin aliums and keeping the Adorable Cossak from having to fly alone.
>>20022840Natural Groping Twenty. Ha. Ha. Ha.
>>20022851>>20022876>>20022877>>20022882>>20022886Tank witches are best witches. (if panzer would ever get off irc and actually write)
>>20022898>OSS
>>20022727So she's currently forcing our cheek into her bust?Don't fight. Ignore the pain.
>>20022872>meetedwhat the fuck brain
At long last, our hero returns!>This is somebody else's problem. I just want back at the party.
>>20022727>This is my own personal big goddamn problem get me the hell out of hereThere are Fifth Columnists on a base with half of Allied High Command present. Maybe we should TELL someone this.
>>20022960you mean the people BACK AT THE PARTY?
Bring the corpse with you and toss it into the room before you enter.
Daily Dose.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYLPoTNnKAk&feature=related
>>20022985Yeah, that'll give the press something to REALLY do tonight.
>>20022985This! we must do this!
>>20022812WHERES THE UNBOXING VIDEO PLANEFAGYOU SAID THERE WOULD BE AN UNBOXING VIDEO
>>20022985>>20023012>present evidence of a human traitor to the media>at a function to prove that all is not Lost in EnglandThat would have exactly the opposite effect you want it to.
>>20023019I don't get it, is she committing sudoku?
>>20022960Witches are better for unwinding and whoever this assassin WAS, (Thanks Kathy!), he appeared to be fearful of witches.
>>20023048Ok, don't do it in the party room, but we have to do it in SOME room. Even if no one's there.
>>20023079>Minna's Office
why would someone want us dead guys? lets us think about this
>>20023079...or we can just leave him where he lies and bring someone to him.Don't forget, he had his head ventilated. Trying to drag him anywhere would make quite a mess.
>I wonder just what Minna is up to
/A/ INCOMING
>>20023102some cult?
>>20023102Your picture demonstrates my theory; Gnomes aren't supposed to exist, and we've been more than a little overt. Someone was trying to cut us down, or at least issue a warning.
>>20023149What is /A/?
>>20023102We did give Chris beer. Trude?Oh and we are getting on decent terms with Telsa. So Eddison?
>>20023149You bastard!
I was kidding. Let's not drag this guy around.
>>20023175I didn't do it but it was brought to my attention so i figured i put out a warning
Get trude and tell her you accidently an assassin.
>>20023102The non-egotistical answer would almost certainly be we interrupted our new friend in the middle of some dastardly deed, and he want us dead to prevent any alarms.So of course MC thinks the Martians sent someone to kill us because we're just too cool for them to fight.
As much as I want to drag that corpse into the next room by his ankles and shout "Which one of you fucks decided to sell out to the Martians?", that would probably be very bad for the ones who haven't sold out.
>Find booze pitcher>Pour glass>Drink pitcher
Loot the corpse!
You squawk like a little bitch getting owned by a girl, which is... nevermind. Your wild flailing finally induces enough pity on Kathy's part to secure your freedom. You take one look at the dead assassin in the corner, analyze the situation with all the maturity and experience your military career has bequeathed upon your youthful self, and conclude you need to get the fuck out of there. Several variables, including personal responsibility, paperwork, possibility of future leave denials and the potential of finally going Section-8 decrease exponentially as you get the hell away from that body. Let the MP's figure out what the hell was going on.You bolt for the door, rip it open, and collide with The Great Gyrene Wall. Falling flat on your ass, you look up. And up.And UP.A chin. A mighty, square chin, hovering just beneath the clouds, towering over the biggest god-damned Marine you've ever seen. You open your mouth and manage a very convincing croak."Hey, Sailor," Kathy purrs, advancing with a swagger so pronounced you can hear it. "Mind helping a damsel in distress?" You stare in wonder as the Marine's pride collides with his sex drive in a titanic clash of energies, an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object. The man's entire body warps and strains like tortured steel - while remaining entirely motionless. Your brain tries to comprehend the impossible paradox unfolding before you. A strange, surreal moment of clarity strikes you - supernatural clairvoyance descends upon you - and you know that the coming hours will be some of the most chaotic and insane of your life, but eighty years from now, the thing you will remember most poignantly is watching a Marine undergo nuclear fission. Then the brass arrives, and everything happens very, very fast.
>>20023169Templar Conspiracy?
>>20023212My god we must search the body for any clues!...or cash
>>20023167FFFFFfffffaaahahaha I see what u did thar
>>20023223>but eighty years from now, the thing you will remember most poignantly is watching a Marine undergo nuclear fission. Ladies and Gentlemen: the first atomic bomb
>>20023223>you know that the coming hours will be some of the most chaotic and insane of your lifeConsidering our usual...
>>20023019god dammit solus I blame yeeeeeeeew(it's not entirely his fault, but I'm still blaming him)
inb4 human implanted with martian control device
>>20023167Aliens?
>>20023223>"Hey, Sailor," Kathy purrs>Marine
>>20023053That's her KNIFE EYE ATTACK you heathen. Lern2ninja seriously
>>20023303Does she throw her head too?
Wow, it's so peaceful and quiet in here, like in the bygone days of yore.
>>20023307Amusingly, I was just thinking about how much more chaotic this is than most other threads on /tg/.
>>but eighty years from now, the thing you will remember most poignantly is watching a Marine undergo nuclear fission. MC Confirmed for surviving the war and living to be 100.
>Here comes the brassNONO
>Where are the MPs after LOUD GUNSHOTS
>>20023354Pretty sure that's what's happening now. It's been no more than 45 seconds since the assassin fired his first shot.
>>20023352YES!
>>20023340Unless that's us reminiscing from some sort of pilot Valhalla.
>>20023377NO
>>20023352...band.
>>20023407
>>20023354>Green Berets.jpg
>>20023423Alright, could somebody explain this bullshit?
>>20023440standard pentagon funding fuckup.
>>20023223The entire area is literally carpeted in heavily-armed men with very dark expressions within thirty seconds. You and Kathy are hustled off through a back hall by several of these men apiece, and twenty minutes of very invigorated questioning continues. After hearing the exact same version of events ten times over, your ad-hoc interrogator leaves off as Kathy's nagging intensity escalates. "It*must* be a kill," she says for the twenty-third time (you've been counting.) "I mean, I KILLED him, right?! And he was a bad guy. He tried to kill heroman here, that's an enemy! Can I paint a little man on my Striker for a kill-marker?""Miss O'Hare-""Can I? Please? Come on, it's valid! It's legit. Cuz I KILLED him! BLAM!" Kathy's hand blurs and her single-six appears as if conjured, aimed at the ceiling. You and the guard jam your fingers in your ears as you dive for the floor, but the interrogator just stammers as he gropes absently at his waistband, where the revolver *was.* "NO!" you shout as you hurtle floor-ward. "CHRIST, WOMAN!" "IT WAS A KILL!" "DON'T SHOOT!" you scream by way of clarification. "MY GODDAMN EARS-"The door swings open, and General Henry Arnold, Five Star commander of the Army Air Corps, looks in. The door swings closed.
>>20023440It's shooped.
>>20023393YES!
>>20023440The anti-material brass band.Didn't youget the memo?They decided to combine the two roles for more combat efficiency.
>>20023407>I will kill you all
>>20023393It's okay Crix, remember when MC was a young boy, and his dad brought him to town? They went to see a marching band. Remember what he said? He said, "Son, when you grow up would you be the savior of the broken, the beaten and the damned?”
>>20023459AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
>>20023459>The door swings open, and General Henry Arnold, Five Star commander of the Army Air Corps, looks in. >The door swings closed.
>>20023459Well, shit.
>>20023459Think a little man on a striker would be totally legit.
>>20023459You know, I can't help but feel we're gonna get blamed for spoiling the medal ceremony. Might as well start wearing a cup right now.
==>
>>20023306>throw her headThat's for pissant Prussians who're so stupid they get sniped with a goddamn cannon. Sakamoto fires lightning from her head, like a pistol, then puts it BACK on her neck. She don't do that pumpkin shit.
>>20023515There's no need for that. Why would you think there's a need for that? Explain why you posted this and cluttered up the thread further.
>>20023459oh boy
>>20023515the hell is this?
>>20023459"Only kills in the air count!"
>>20023508
Spoiling the medal ceremony was likely the entire point of this plot. Killing MC would just have been a bonus. Stupid Martian PR.
>>20023550Homestuck reference, means 'advance to the next page', no need for it here.
>>20023578>HomestuckGo home /co/
>>20023578Specifically "advance to the next page WITHOUT PLAYER INPUT".
>>20023608Either way, no point to posting it in a fucking QUEST THREAD.
>>20023608>>20023578I liked it when it was Problem Sleuth.
>>20023554Does itcount if you're high as a kite?
>>20023554I think we can compramise and let her draw a little man on her gun.Seems fair?
After several long moments, there's a polite knocking at the door. Kathy holsters her revolver, grinning prettily. "Come in!" she calls cheerfully. The door cautiously creeps open. General Hap's eyes appear around the jam as he executes a deliberate, paced entrance, cutting the pie like a wary cop. "Hello," he says, his eyes scanning the room. "Hey.""So.""Yeah.""Outside, we've got about six trillion reporters swarming and slithering.""Yeah.""And if word of what just happened gets out now, they will eat me alive. My last, terrified screams will be recorded by hundreds of microphones."You nod, letting the mighty General speak."And if that happens, I will make sure you die with me. I will pull you close and we will sink into that terrifying, cold abyss of eternal damnation together.""Ah.""Yeah. So. Get your ass out there and look all hero-y."You salute."Good boy."The door closes with enough force to rattle the frame as the wise General gets the hell out of there. >Find [PERSON]>Find [ITEM]>Find [LOCATION]
[Give it to me baby]
>>20023659Or just go full-cowboy. Carve a notch into it.
>Find [ITEM]A mirror, to make sure we aren't covered by guts and brainmeats.
>>20023665Find Mother. She's here, right?
>>20023665>Find [little sisters]>Find [pillows]>Find [Minna's office]
>>20023665>Offer to draw a little man on Kathy's striker as thanks for saving our ass
>>20023665>Find [Item]Find our crew
>>20023665Find Erica. We need her particular brand of calm to help deal with the reporters.
>>20023665>FIND ROBINAnd see if she's ok too.
>>20023665>>20023677I agree with this person, we should carve a notch into Kathy.And put on a shit eating grin, we heroes.
>>20023665>Find [MEDAL OF HONOR]Damn it, we've got a medal ceremony to do. Let's get this shit underway.
>>20023699>>20023712>>20023700Does the concept of 'not the time' mean anything to you?
>>20023665MY. FUCKING. SIDES.Find [Minna]
Find trude and Minna.
>>20023705Seconding this. I suspect more people would agree with it if this was posted closer to the last thread.
Find [item]Medal of HonorFind [location]Front page of newspaper
Find [LOCATION]The food bar.It's the hipest location at any air-force meetupIts where Erica was anyway.
>>20023665Find [crew]
>>20023722ITS ALWAYS THE TIME FOR SHIT EATING GRINS. Though we need to put on a good display for the cameras, with Kathy. They WILL ask what the shooting was about and if we don't at least agree on what our connection to it is, WE WILL SINK INTO A FLIGHTLESS DESK JOB.
>Find {ITEM]Booze. Lots of it. If anyone asks say it's because the stresses of war have finally come home to us.Actually, if anyone says anything about it, punch them in the face (if male) or make out with them (if a witch).Alternatively get in the plane for the inevitable alium attack.
>>20023722We've just been though a lot. What better way to relax than by building fort give no fucks?
>>20023780> Ordered to go out and deal with the press> Acquire booze, get into plane instead> create pillow fort, grab witches to populate> seek out trude because RELATIONSHIPS~Have the posters here always been full retard and I only now am noticing?
>>20023665>Find[Crew]Fill them in later, we need them for medal time now.
>>20023665>Find [Air Crew]>Find [Proper Uniform]>Find [OUR FUCKING MEDAL OF HONOR CEREMONY]Work out with Kathy a cover story for that gunshot, then get to the fucking medal ceremony. We are getting the Medal of fucking Honor; do NOT screw this up.
>>20023806>Skill training: Perception>Now
>>20023806alwaysalwaysalwaysforever full retardITS A CONSPIRACY THE WITCHES ARE GONNA EAT US
>>20023822Im going to say this. I want to get our box of medals already.
>>20023806Since when have we had a relationship with Trude?
>>20023806You've just noticed.
>>20023858We haven't, but people want us to.I guess GoT Quest and the people actually being smart and diplomatic there have left me spoiled.
>>20023867Some of us at least have the excuse of we are intentionally trying to hit every pothole in the road, not everyone is.
>>20023806>>20023806I was going to answer you, but then I realized that actions speak louder then words. >Please Stand By...
>>20023924Dear father, forgive me, for I have sinned like a motherfucker...
>>20023924
>>20023898Look newfag, I think we've been through enough of that shit already.>>20023924Oh FUCK
>>20023898You too? Karban's a hell of a drug.
Sanya while we wait
>>20023898>Smart>DiplomaticWhat part of "Pilot" don't you understand? I think you need to listen to this a few times:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYLPoTNnKAk&feature=related
>>20024005
>>20024008You say, as though we were still the same asshole we were at the start of the quest.Besides, MC's actual actions have been relatively smart. It's the ideas of the posters that have been fucking retarded.>>20024005Got any Erica?
>>20024030
>>20024037
>>20024030>You say, as though we were still the same asshole we were at the start of the quest.We have replaced MC with Folger's Crystals. Let's see if anyone notices...
>>20023806>>20023898>>20023975I'm not apologizing. I play Karban like a smart, honorable badass because that's who Karban is. Pilot is is a pilot who can be all of those things when he feels like it, and only really feels like it when his sister or his plane are involved.
>>20024026That's a bit too lewd for SWQ's Sanya.>>20023924SHIT JUST GOT REAL.
>>20024037>>20024049As someone with no intention of watching Strike Witches: What the fuck is with Erica and potatoes? And why is that all you get when you ask for fanart of her, everywhere?
>>20024074>only really feels like it when his sister or his plane are involved.Then what about when the honor and reputation of his family, the fact that his sister is going to be RIGHT FUCKING THERE AND TAKING NOTES ON OUR BEHAVIOR, and this could lead to us getting a desk assignment if we fuck this up?
>>20024086>He doesn't potatoes
>>20024086As someone who's actually seen Strike Witches, I too am somewhat baffled. I vaguely suspect there may have been something in there about her liking potatoes, but I honestly don't recall.
>>20024086>He doesn't know about the Erica and potatoes
>>20024086>Not watching Strike Witches>1943
>>20024086They're testicles.
>>20024100
>>20024108>>20024100>>20024110So is this the new thing? Someone asks for help, instead of giving it, /tg/ just mocks them? That doesn't seem very much like how /tg/ works, so what the fuck guys?
>>20024030>MC's actual actions have been relatively smart>fucking the cupcake
>>20024112Blah blah blah trigger pull blag blah 60kg of force
>>20024120Relatively.
>>20024119It's typical /a/non behavior, probably our visitors from there.
>>20024120Cupcake was best waifu.
>>20024128That one does push the relatively part.
>>20024120If we hadn't and then came upon her and Minna it would have been bad news.As it is the situation is salvageable.Plus cupcake is my waifu.
>>20024112>>20024125DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DONE?!
>>20024097Remember that someone came close to exposing his brain matter to the outside. He's not thinking long term after his brush with death and is looking for something familiar and relaxing to steady himself. His plane and booze are easy ways to do this.I will admit, I forgot that Robin was on hand. Personal time with the little lady would be better.
>>20024119Who said we even know. Memes are like that.
>>20024115Soooooo.... did anyone else notice that the sky pirate nation in Last Exile: Fam was named Potato?That's what Kartoffel means in German. Potato.I mean, they ate a ton of the things, but still. Potato. That's like naming your country Rice. Or Corn.ALL HAIL THE GREAT NATION OF CORN!
>>20024120That was more the "HURR PILOT DURR" idiots managing to win a vote, something those with normal IQs don't want happening again.And dumbfucks like >>20024008 are not helping in the slightest. This reminsd me of a story where the MC was named Shirou and anon went out of their way to make him so stupid it makes other idiots (like a certain ice fairy) seem brilliant.
>>20024159Then you say you don't know either, rather than being a dick!
>>20024138as in that could only have been a good decision relative to, say, going on a murder spree or abandoning a comrade in arms. as it was, it was just a straight-up dumb decision.
>>20024154There's one problem: Remember that ceremony that we're supposed to be attending right now? You know, the one where we're going to be awarded the Medal of fucking Honor? There is a time and a place to run off and get drunk, and now is most certainly not it.
>>20024171Welcome to Corneria!I like swords.Welcome to Corneria!I like swords.Welcome to Corneria!I like swords.
sup /a/
>>20024171What's wrong with naming a country Corn? Corn is good stuff.
have a hat.
Making good your escape, you re-enter the redecorated hangar and are immediately immersed in the party again. The Press is pressing their barriers, the MP's haggard threats growing increasingly strained as they try to keep the wolves at bay. You cast about for your crew, but see nothing. Ian's probably escaped again, hiding from any potential encounter with his mother - you hope Sakamoto can round him up in time for the big event. Sean, on the other hand... you start looking around for any large congregation of women. *There.* Other side of the room, swarming with WAACs - well, technically WAACS as of recently - if they're not swarming around Sean, then Sean will surely be hovering around *them,* the predictable lout. You make tracks for the congregation. "ENOUGH!" somebody squeals from nearby. You start, and see a familiar, stout profile stand up so quickly his chair falls over. "I had three command tanks shot out from under my ass already. Why don't YOU ride down that fucking road for a few miles before you sing its praises!""Georgie, the last time it was possible to land on an English beach with human technology was before the English knew what gunpowder was-" "Static DEFENSES!" Patton squeaks with barely chained disgust. "Go tell the biggest Navy on Earth how the coastal STATIC DEFENSES saved the day! Go tell Horatio Nelson, tell Yi Soon Shin, go tell - go to HELL!" Patton spins away from the other man at his table and thunders off, lightning dancing in his eyes.
>>20024194Oh god. I didn't make that connection till now. That... makes perfect sense. And it's a planet in the lylat system. How much fucking corn do you have to grow to call your planet "Corneria"
>>200241948bit theater? mah nigga.
>>20024212''Fixed fortifications are monuments to man's stupidity.'' - George S. Patton
>>20024248Stop bothering Mules Patton, Monty does a better job.
>>20024231Over 18 million hectares.
>>20024212Non-militaryfag here. WAACs?
>>20024115Now that is a true daughter of my land.Come, sit with me.Don't mind my dogs. They're good girls, just like you.You know, I conquered poland as well. Ah, good times.You should come visit me at Sanssouci, some time.
>>20024275Womens Army Auxiliary Corps
>>20024231Fun fact: Originally, "corn" simply referred to any sort of grain or cereal. So "Corneria" would be a pretty reasonable name for a major grain-producing locale.And the name "Corneria" could be derived from unrelated roots -- maybe it's named for a guy named Cornelius, or it comes from the Latin root "cornus" (horn).
>>20024275Women's Army Auxiliary CorpsMy Grandmother was in it during the war
>>20024275Women's Auxillary Air Corps, if I remember correctly. Basically women trained to fly plains from the factories to the front line bases before the men flew them into combat.
>>20024212What they needed were not costal defenses but more wet marshlands, sink those martians in muddy water.
>>20024314Note the Yanks and British both had WAACs, both with different meaning. I was referring to the British version.
>>20024268Lay off him. Monty is getting ready to lead the largest invasion in history. Patton is currently commanding an army that primarily exists in the minds of the German high command. Does the First Army Group even exist in the SWQ verse?
>>20024279
>>20024338Why would it?
>>20024248I like the second half of that quote better: "If anything made by God can be overcome, anything made by man can be overcome."Classic Blood-and-Guts.>>20024301My grandmother was a Marine. "None of those cutesy-ass nicknames", she used to say.
>>20024338Different universes, mate. Patton in here just transferred up from North Africa, and has been involved in combat against the Martians in East Anglia.
>>20024338The idea of the Martian High Command ordering a retreat as witches pick up an M4 in each hand and cruises towards the front lines is amusing to me.
>>20024338>>20024338Like most Brits (and Colonials) I always have to defend Monty every time Patton is mentioned.
Hey how long have the Martians been invading for?
>>20024370But Monty gobbles giant cock
>>20024370fucking monty
You watch the thunderstorm egress for a few seconds more. You never realized high command was a spectator's sport. You head for the WACs - - and are jerked back by your collar. "I've been looking all over for you!" You half-turn. "Minna! You won't believe what just happened-""LATER!" she yells, turning you toward front again, hands clamping on your shoulders. "MARCH!" Thus compelled, you let yourself be marched through the crowd, steered by Minna's iron hands. She weaves you expertly through the crowd, then through a mystical band of flashing lights operated by hovering fedoras, and when the blindness clears you're standing on a stage."Sup," Ian says through a frozen smile. "Hey," Sakamoto says cheerfully, her arm linked through Ian's. On second glance, you notice her other hand is resting on Ian's wrist in what looks suspiciously like a relaxed 'come-along' grip. You give their linked arms a long, dubious look, then look at Ian with with quizzical dissapointment."Turns out, *anybody* can read those little pamphlets," Ian grumbles, and Sakamoto flashes you a brilliant smile. "Well, she asked so nicely," somebody says to your left, and you turn to see Sean standing next to you. You peer at him, confused. "Are you wearing.. *make-u-*" Sean casually steps on your toe, and you quell yourself. The concealer is around his eye, so... you draw a quick mental triangle with Sakamoto, WACs, and Sean at the points, and scribble "ammunition" in the center as your conclusion. Then the crowd hushes, and bright lights are turned upon your group. The women slip away, and you're standing, alone and above on the bare wooden stage.
>>20024370How'd that Operation Market Garden go for him? Was it worth halting the advance on Liege for?
>>20024386>>20024389Troll Alert>ebruhi HISTORYCaptcha agrees
>>20024393Sean make up!? we must never let him live this down.
>>20024393NOPE
>>20024400>Defends Monty>Calls us trollsHaha! hilariousTry not to fuck up the ceremony too much, MC
>>20024389>>20024398inb4 'America won the war single handedly'
>>20024393> sean in makeup> getting his picture takenAlright, this may work out.Also, nice to see Minna in full Commander Mode. We need her to stay that way for a while after, but for now, smile for the cameras!
>>20024393Dontpanicdontpanicdontpanicbrightflashesdonotmeanincomingfire
>>20024393>Sean casually steps on your toe, and you quell yourself. The concealer is around his eye, so... you draw a quick mental triangle with Sakamoto, WACs, and Sean at the points, and scribble "ammunition" in the center as your conclusion. As always, its the attention to detail that makes your writing so delightful.
>>20024410can't have a black eye when getting the medal of honor! That just wouldn't do
>>20024393STRIKE A POSEAS A TEAM
>>20024393>you're standing, alone and above on the bare wooden stage.Wait, what about Caulders and Bader? And fucking Hartmann, she's supposed to be here too?Oh fuck, if we screw this up, we will never live it down.
>>20024430we are a crew. nothing is sacred
>>20024393I doubt this would be the appropriate time to put on the neon headbands.
Just because I defend Monty does not mean I hate Patton. he was the best American General in the war. to be sure he had his problems, and Eisenhower should be commended to keeping the coalition together with prima-donners like him and Monty in the same force.now can we leave it and carry on with the quest?
>>20024393Oh Sean, when will you ever learn not to try and get strange on the side when you've got a Samurai Chick on your arm?It will never end well for you.
>>20024448Yeah, that's a horrible idea.>>20024439Erica's probably off doing her Gobbels impersonation for the press. I can only hope, anyway.
>>20024439Probably potato poisoning.
>PATTON VS. MONTYThe answer is Hermann Balck. >"During the period from December 7, 1942 through January 31, 1943, (Balck's) 11th Panzer Division was credited with destroying 225 tanks, 437 antitank guns, 35 artillery pieces, and killing 30,700 Soviet Soldiers. Balck's losses for the same period were 16 tanks, 12 antitank guns, 215 soldiers killed in action , 1,019 wounded, and 155 missing."
>>20024439>Wait, what about Caulders and Bader? And fucking Hartmann, she's supposed to be here too?IT'S A TRAP!
>>20024398Fuck Liege. Antwerp, Monty. You know, the port that we were counting on to deliver our supplies? The one we nigh-miraculously managed to take intact? You know how it's at the bottom of the Scheldt Estuary, and there's a bunch of islands between it and the ocean? Islands where enemy troops can render the port useless by raping passing ships to death with artillery fire?YOU THINK IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN A GOOD IDEA TO GRAB THOSE BEFORE THE GERMANS GOT THERE AND FORTIFIED THEM INSTEAD OF FUCKING AROUND FOR A MONTH?
>>20024475
>>20024450>Patton>Best American General>Not Bradley
>>20024478Blame Eisenhower. At any time he could ahve told Monty to take the islands, but he didn't. instead he agreed with market Garden. It goes to the top.now can we stop this argument and do some witches?
where the fuck is Rommel during all this?
>>20024506Getting all the bitches and being classy as fuck
Sup, guys.
>>20024506don't open your fridge
>>20024506Hiding in a fridge. Waiting.Either that, or he's chatting up the ladies and handing out more of his personalized lighters.
>Keep eye open for scope glint in the distance
>>20024530>you will never own a personalized Rommel Lighter
>>20024393Return of the neon samurai?
>>20024552No. And fuck you for suggesting it.
>INB4 Erica wearing mallory's hat
You know what time it is?Sentaim!
>>20024578
It's like the calm before the storm
>>20024578I love Power Rangers, filmed right here in Auckland. I've even been in it a few times as 'random bystander number XXX.'>and assupieAspie Alert! (oh yeah, that's me)
Monty Patton and the Holy Grail
>>20024646On second thought lets not go to Berlin, it is a slilly place.
From out of the bright lights, you see a uniformed figure approach. Haloed by halogen lights, you make out a line of five stars on the approaching helmet.God has arrived. "Young. Kent. Rorke."You all stiffen automatically, sweat running down your faces as the invisible cameras crawl over your skin. "You have hurled yourselves into perilous combat again and again, far above and beyond the call of duty.""For the action on April 25th, 1943, when your crew, as one, engaged in a lone, unsupported attack into a massive melee, saving the life of an Allied Witch, you might have been recommended for the Silver Star."You hear your crew gulp in-synch. "But for staying in the fight after the element of surprise was spent, refusing to abandon your allies till your last round or your last breath, you have been granted the Distinguished Flying Cross." Snapping camera shutters clatter like a hailstom all about, beyond the lights. "The English have also granted you the Distinguished Flying Medal."You stand silent, waiting.
>>20024657I'm Invincible!The Black Martian always triumphs!
>>20024666>666God dammit.
>>20024666Oh noMUST. NOT. SCRATCH. BALLS
>>20024666I wonder what the frogs are gonna give us for saving the pride of their fleet.
Note to self.. steal a Garand....
GET MEDAL| |V☆RECEIVE HONOR>ishothis PIanoforte,
>>20024666Kent Rorke Young?That's our name?
>>20024666awww ya baby also now we know the MC name!
>>20024666>April 25th>The episode with Minna's birthday was almost a month and a half agoWhat. The. Fuck. Happened.
>>20024713Perrine
>>20024594
>>20024721Kent. Rorke. Young. Three last names.
>>20024721>>20024722These two posts made me consider suicide just now.
>>20024721Ian Kent. Sean Rorke. MC Young.
>>20024717na carbine would be better for a pilot
>>20024722>>20024721(Insert rank here) Young(Insert rank here) Kent(Insert rank here) RoukeNice try though.
>>20024721>>20024722No, now we know MC's, Sean RORKE's and Ian KENT's last names.
>>20024713probably the "Médaille de l'Aéronautique"or the "Cross for Military Valour"
>>20024721>>20024722Surely you're not serious
>>20024722It was mentioned earlier.When our sister came into the equiation.
>>20024739And it's funny that the exactly following sentence is>You all stiffen automatically>You all
>>20024713Legion of Honour, Medaille Militaire, Croix De Guerre, Croix du Combattant. (the things you know)
>>20024728lel
>>20024766>Implying France is a thing anymore.
Planefag: I love you. No homo.
>>20024787Just sharing the results of a four year course in WWII History. So many thousands of dollars wasted.
>>20024766>implying they're going to give all of that for a single actionWe'll get the Croix de Guerre. That's about all they gave to foreigners unless they did something like take a bullet for the French President while simultaneously stopping someone from blowing up the Eiffel Tower.
>>20024806ALL OF THE HOMO! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwN0gcfrSxs
>>20024722>>20024721MC's name is Lance, im calling it now.
>>20024825> LanceNope, not going to bring bad luck to the guy's name.
>>20024825Martin Carlisle Young.If his initials aren't MC, I ain't taking it.
>>20024825No, it begins with R, and might also be Robin. Robin Young was the pilot Robin Young the witch is named after.
>>20024786>lelfuck off
>>20024850MASTER CHIEF.
>>20024866Hue?
>>20024858"This is my daughter Robin and this is my son Robin.""And she wonders why we're gonna put her in a home."
>>20024867That's a *rank*. A NAVY RANK.
>>20024858The real-world pilot's name is Robin Olds, not Robin Young. Kind of inverting the usual SW pattern of keeping the last name and changing the first.
>>20024872Vaguely acceptable, but you're not Papa N.
>>20024825>>20024858
>>20024888Not just a Navy rank, it's also an NCO rank.
>>20024741If you have ever fired an M1 Garand, you won't say that. Sweetest fuckin rifle I've ever fired, and the ringing the stripper clip makes when it ejects is beautiful. =D
>>20024845>>20024858... "Rance"?
>>20024902Fuck.Fucking fuck-assed fuckers.It all makes sense.
>>20024872You called?
>>20024757don't make me smack you doctor
>>20024923>fucking fuck-assed fuckersNow, now, the pilot hasn't achieved that much yet.
>>20024902As a man actually named Rance, I can dig it.
>>20024902MC's not enough of a, y'know, rapist, to really be Rance.
>>20024912>stripper clipEnbloc clip.If it was a stripper clip, it wouldn't PING.
Hey, you're back!
>>20024948Nice. More specifically a stripper clip doesn't stay in the weapon and is discarded after the rounds are "stripped".
"For the actions on... wait." There's a sudden silence, then a few muted snickers from the press corps as an aide dashes onto stage, sweating even more then you and your crew. General Arnold exchanges sharp whispers with the poor victim. "It's day-MONTH-year? but this, still, uh - this, this *island,* you hear his barely audible voice hiss with true hatred, and you know he's not talking about Barin. "Your next notable action," he amends at last, sending his aide scrambling for safety with a last evil look, "was to engage Martian rocket-bombs at low altitude and achieve remarkable success against them. Your spectacular performance as a crew, as witnessed by Officer Perrine Cloistermann and witnesses on the ground, gained the notice of your superiors."
>>20024948>>20024966Remember, it's not a clip if it doesn't go in a grand and go PING. It's a magazine.
>>20024970day-month-year is the only proper way to write a date.
The general clears his throat. "Next, you..." he pauses, frowns, and carefully shuffles a piece of paper from the back of his stack to the front. He frowns at it harder, and carefully shuffles it back. Then front. Scowling freely, with his face turned mostly away from the cameras, he simply plows on. "You repeated your excellent crew synergy and dedication to defending your fellow pilots by risking your lives to keep Martian attack-boats from capturing Sanya V. Litak, Russian Strike Witch, during an extremely chaotic night action, as well as scoring a few kills in very difficult conditions. For these events, your crew has been nominated for - and received - the Silver Star."Immediately afterwards, you accepted responsibility for an untested prototype, which almost killed you in routine flight. As one, your crew did not hesitate to take this unproven weapon into battle at a moment's notice, where you turned in a magnificent performance before making an incredibly dangerous emergency landing on an aircraft carrier to preserve your valuable prototype for the war effort. For this, you have been awarded the Air Medal."
Well of course it's an island, it's not the Continent.
>>20024996Incidentally, I'm with you on that one. For realz. But metric can still eat dicks. Imperial is world-standard for aviation measurements anyhow. ALTITUDE IN FEET BABY
>>20024997>>20024970oh boy oh boy. Are they going to give them to us one at a time, do you think, or just present us with a new uniform with them all stuck on?
>>20025013I think they'll just hand us the wheelbarrow on the way out.
>>20024996Eat Dicks.All of the dicks.It's Month-Day-Year because that's how we say it.
>>20024970>>20024997Shit, the crew is getting so many prizes.
>>20025009...so, what IS the date in-quest?
>>20025021You say it that way, maybe.
>>20025021Eat shit, fag. Feet are stupid, too. Why not measure in nice increments of 100?
>>20025013i feel like it may be one at a time, with the pin pricking us for a little revenge for any trouble we've caused, with each medal, while we just have to grin and bear it.
>>20025021Remember, remember the fifth of November.>>20025009the "standard" system that only one country uses!
>>20025031>quoting wrong posts
>>20025019I imagine they'll pile on a few ladies into the wheelbarrowor we'll find a naked minna smeared with ice cream on our bed. either or
>>20025009>messing with dates>hating on metric
Why cant the rest of the world get with the times and just convert to Imperial
>>20025009So...I have new content. It will probably cause a shit storm. I am going to take a shower and will check back for you decision as to whether you want it NAO or after the NEXT TIME post. I will be huehue'ing either way, so it is your call.
>>20025059because a base-10 system is inherently better.
>>20025059Because you are insane and the rest of the world isn't.
Shitstorm? Oh no.
>>20025065NAO DAMMIT
>>20025059Because the rest of the world isn't retarded.
>>20025021>>20025009Barbaren.
>>20024997What we need right now is a duelwielding bofor's witch to crash though the roof
>Metric v Imperial>One post thread derailment, guaranteed
>>20025059Because MCO. Metric units are generally easier to use.
>>20025059As an American, I can safely say the Imperial system is complete shit.
>>20025082The rest of the world has trouble with simple unit conversions.
The general removes the last citation sheet from his little stack, and the entire room seems to expand as every living human being draws in a breath and keeps it."And finally...." He pauses, letting the tension build. Like any Brass hat, he's at least a little experienced with stagecraft. "... you three demonstrated conclusively that you place your country, your comrades and your duty far, far above your personal survival. You did this by taking your shot-up prototype deathtrap OFF the aircraft carrier you'd somehow managed to land on, in order to make landfall where you proceeded to steal *another* aircraft you were less familiar with, packing less effective armaments, then conducted an effective suicide mission by attacking - and boarding- a Martian assault ship by crashing into it, which you followed with sabotage action and hand-to-hand combat with the enemy. For these actions, you have been awarded - by direct order of the President, bypassing the usual, more lengthy review process- the Congressional Medal of Honor."The entire room sighs in awe and wonder as the flashbulbs begin sparking anew."Oh," General Arnold says. "And for shooting it out with Martian ground forces during the surprise night assaults, you've been awarded the Bronze Star. Congratulations, gentlemen."
>>20025102Fucker did that on purpose, didn't he.
God, the MC'll be up on that stage all night long at this rate.
rolled 46 = 46>>20025102Love you Arnold.
>>20025102"And here's a wheelbarrow full of purple hearts. Just put a new one one every time you get hurt,"
for Valor?
>>20025102>Luke has to salute US
>>20025102Can they really give a Medal of honor to a brit? They don't have proper dentistry let alone honor!
>>20025102I say we try to nonverbally urge Sean to ham it up. Get us off of the stage.
We should get a hatrack and stick a new Purple Heart to it every time we get hurt.
>>20025102Come morning our backs will hurt from all the shit pinned to our breast.
>>20025143Direct order of the President says "Suck it, bitches".
>>20025102shit eating grin
>>20025153That's not why our back is gonna hurt
>>20025140not if he has the medal as well, which I believe he does.
As you process the words just spoken before God, Other God, the press corps, the radio receivers and the entire world, you realize those floodlights are really, really hot. The stage is wobbly as hell, too, and it's getting worse by the second. Somebody should really fix that. >Every medal ever approved in a quarter the usual time? We're a PR Pony Show and nothing more. REFUSE this slander. >Our gnomeical ways gave us better chances and we knew it; this wasn't grenade-hugging tier stuff. We don't deserve the MoH, good god>those lights are REALLY hot what is why woah>where's Kurts medal this is bullshit>waah
>steal *another* aircraft COMMANDEER.we COMMANDEERed it.You don't get the Medal of Honor for stealing dishonorabry.
we're gonna have so many medals, people are gonna think we're a soviet
>>20025129Actually they would need to introduce the Rance Young Medal for Severe Badassery just for us.
>Look STOIC! God damn it, our LITTLE SISTER IS IN THIS CROWD! We can't FAINT!
>>20025164God dammit, I think you're right
>>20025153Depends, if Minna gets the opportunity, I don't think our backs will be the most painful...While I'm on the thought; we need to report to Minna about the assassination with as much tact as we don't have...
>>20025102"Steal" is such a harsh word. Granted, we never did give it back.
>>20025166>where's Kurts medal this is bullshitHE NEEDS TO SUFFER WITH US TOGETHERRRRR
>>20025166Stand firm, pilot! For once in your life, stand firm! Let the stage give out before you do, if it's going to.> waah
>kurtThe difference between folly and heroism is surviving and/or success.>>20025166Wait, Other God? Who's Other God?>those lights are REALLY hot what is why woah
>>20025166>those lights are REALLY hot what is why woah
>>20025177>Rance
>>20025166I soldier should not be rewarded for something that should be expected of him.
>>20025166>>20025102Can they really give a Medal of honor to a brit? They don't have proper dentistry let alone honor!
>>20025126why do I hear cave jonhnson's voice when I read that?
rolled 83 = 83>>20025166>where's Kurts medal this is bullshitWhy is no one else suffering whilst we have to?
>Lights really hot>Really hot>Heat rayTO ARMS!
>>20025166Man up and deal with it, motherfucker.Robin is in the audience, don't fucking faint like a wuss.
rolled 6 = 6>>20025166>Our gnomeical ways gave us better chances and we knew it; this wasn't grenade-hugging tier stuff. We don't deserve the MoH, good godEh why not...
>>20025206It fits the name scheme and you aren't giving us a name. If you're not gonna do it, we're gonna do it for you. Rance Young.
>>20025166>Kurt and simultaneous Woah.
>>20025219Better gnome out those lights before we all fry.
>>20025196Wait, who's Kurt again?
>>20025166Deal with it man! We can look bad before the little sister(s?)!
>>20025181This.
>>20025219ASSASSIN!
>>20025206If you have a better suggestion...
>>20025166I think some major downplaying is in order. Also, take time to recognise the folks who have bailed our asses out.
>>20025192>>20025217>suffering>KurtHe's either dead, or being experimented on by Martians.
>>20025223>implying any of us would accept MC gaining a name at this point.Yeah, no, Rance is terrible anyways.
>>20025166Stand firm, if needed use Minna as support to keep our feet.This medal ceremony isn't for us, it's to bring some hope to the people whose family has died in this war, it's to give people a hero. We suck it up, stand firm and give everyone, including our sister someone to look up to.
>>20025223MC's name will be taken to his untimely grave
>>20025229Minna's fiance, that died a year ago covering the retreat from advancing Martians.
>>20025166>>those lights are REALLY hot what is why woahThis is the fall out option
>>20025223Speak for yourself. MC doesn't need a first name, and I don't know what unexplored crevice of your bowels you had to pull from to determine that Rance "fits the name scheme".
>>20025262pretty sure minna has left the stage.
If Kurt's Minna's dead bf then >>20025196Else, who's Kurt?
>>20025252This. You got yours already; time to give back.
>>20025181What this guy said. Smile for the cameras.
>>20025021I have never heard anyone say it any other way than date > month > yearThe only change to that formula is to put the day of the week first
Let's look good for morale and try not to let the shock of a groundpounder nearly getting the better of a PILOT stop us.
>>20025252This, we got ours, let's share the glory.
>>20025166>Our gnomeical ways gave us better chances and we knew it; this wasn't grenade-hugging tier stuff. We don't deserve the MoH, good godThis seems about right for MC, with his odd mix of bravado and sort-of humility. Can't see how it really leads into a particular course of action here, though -- we know this whole shebang is as much about keeping up morale about the prospects of the war in Britain, and screwing with that in any way would be a Very Bad Thing (TM).So I'mma go with>those lights are REALLY hot what is why woah
FOLKS NEED HERO'S, PILOTSO SMILE WOULDJAWHILE WE STILL GOT SOMETHIN TO SMILE ABOUT
>>20025277/JP/ once told me Rance really has a "heart of gold." I swear on a stack of god damned bibles.
>>20025307> god damned biblesDo what to who
>>20025323ohum
>>20025306HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET OFF THE FIRST HALO?
>>20025307Are you cheating at Bible Poker again? You shuffle those God-damned Bibles and you LIKE it!
>>20025307A heart of gold... Cold, yellow, and hard?
>>20025342Gold's not that hard though.
>>20025342> gold> hardSomebody doesn't know jackshit about metals
>>20025334One of the books actually explains it.on their way back to earth, MC and he blow up a covenant space station
>>20025332Stop posting responses and start posting plot, planefag
>>20025349Eeeeh. Hard enough that you can't really fuck a lump of it.That's why the dwarves invented rings!
>>20025349>>20025356http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMyk7MXsseg
>>20025307Well he slaughters rapist but somehow doesn't seem to get that what he does is wrong.And he doesn't pretend, he actually doesn't think what hes doing is wrong.
>>20025307He may have one, but it's buried under countless layers of lust and rape. Not sure if Sanya'd be old enough to end up on Rance's list.it's insulting to compare the MC to him as his nice side is more easily viewable.
>>20025372Something about this evidence just doesn't seem very credible...
>>20025349>>20025356Well, gold may be soft as metals go, but that's only "as metals go". It ain't exactly a down pillow.
>>20025393Have you ever slept on a solid gold pillow? Do you know how good it feels to sleep on one?
>>20025393Yeah but it's barely harder than a fingernail.
There's applause. There's cheers. There's noise and men talking and something else is going on and cameras are in your face, TV cameras and film cameras and microphones swarming about you like schools of hungry piranhas and you just keep your face blank and spine straight and stand at rigid attention as the world warps and swoons around you.An eternity later, you stumble off the stage, feeling sick enough to ralph on the first Marine you see. Somebody guides you to a table, and a drink is thrust into your hand. "Are you okay, son?" "Yuh," you reply automatically, killing the Coke in your hand in one go. Another one is pressed into your hand immediately, the cap already gone. "I don't...."You recognize the voice.The only man on earth who can call you 'son' as a literally exact title.
>>20025371It's gold you can fuck!
>>20025385It's Rance.Any female old enough to have breasts is old enough to end up on his list
>>20025443Well, wasn't expecting THAT.
>>20025443Oh hi dad
>>20025443OH MY GODIT'S LIAM NEESON
>>20025443Oh snap son!
rolled 63 = 63>>20025443Two options hereSay highORRun like the hounds of hell are at your heels.
>>20025443dafuq
>>20025443We need to use an embarrasing and old fashioned term for out father. Like "pappy". Especially if he hasn't had us call him that before.
>>20025443Don't fuck up. Because if Dad's here, then so's Mom.DON'T FUCK UP.
>>20025443da hell is he doing here?
>>20025443WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LET ROBIN ENLIST?
>>20025443!!!Oh snap, it's time to meet the parents. Means Robin is right behind.
>>20025491this is good, i like this
Give our old man a hug
>>20025486Name one father that would miss his son getting the goddamned medal of honor
>>20025485>so's MomShit, we need to introduce her to Eila.
>>20025443"Hello Son"
>>20025493DUCK
>>20025443QUICK, HIDE THE EILA
>>20025505I forgot about that.Of course, given our current standing with Eila, that will probably blow up in our faces rather spectacularly....which sounds about par for the course for us, actually. What the hell, let's do it!
>>20025491is it possible they didn't know and he's about to ask us the same question?
>Inb4 Minna talks with us and our old man gives us a Wink and an elbow in the side while our mother flips her shit
>>20025526Or worse, she thinks Minna is Eila and addresses her as such.
>>20025525possible? Yes, but it's still his damn fault for not watching her closely enough if that's the case.
>>20025525Considering they lied about her being home, and Robin said that she asked them to lie, it's not possible at all.
>>20025526"It's been a while son, how has living with the legs legs legs le- Sorry, lost my train of thought there..."
>>20025443OH GOD, OUR MOM IS GOING TO ASK IF WE'RE GETTING MARRIED TO THAT FINNISH CUNT DO TO THAT PHONE CALL. OH FUCK.CRAZY IVAN.
>>20025547>watching Robin closelyI think it's been proven that this is impossible.
>>20025541OHMYGOD, make this happen!
>>20025556Gods, but Dad must be in a personal hell if Mom's here. All these fine legs, his son's the base's superhero, and he can't tap any of it.
>>20025526>>20025541>implying Trude isn't buttering her up to get her approval RIGHT NOW
>>20025549alright, corrected.
Preemptively downvoting anything involving Having A Relationship or claiming to.
>>20025473"As long as you keep Robin safe, that will be the end of it. However, if she ever gets hurt, I will find you, and I will kill you."
>>20025584What the fuck is this sentence supposed to mean?
>>20025575That would be a poor decision on her part.
I can only hope that Mom officially announces our engagement to our Fiancee Eila to the press. I'm sure they'd love to hear a scoop on the private life of the most recent Medal Whore.
>>20025541...Glorious
>>20025603Downvoting. It's a reddit thing. Which means it DOESN'T BELONG ON 4CHAN.
Sitting across from you is your father. Snug in his worn, faded old US Postal Service flight jacket, a uniform all his own. Your mother sits next to him, Robin's new helmet in her hands. Robin stands nearby, hair beautifully combed, nicely held back in a ribbon, and a pout upon her face. "... what?" "We came in on the Hercules," your mother tells you. "We wanted it to be a surprise.""I think he won that round of surprise," your father says dryly. "... right, um, the lightning-shark was Tesla's idea, I swear.""Mmm-hmm," your mother says dubiously. "I'll let *Tesla* know how my nerves appreciated the entire spectacle." You leap from your seat and there's the inevitable round of happy kisses and embraces. You laugh, arms around your parents, feeling lightheaded with giddy joy. A sobering thought strikes you, and you pull away from them suddenly. "I - you should meet my crewmates," you say, feeling ashamed of making a scene with your family when your crew's are so distant. "This is-""Oh, we've met your mate," your mother says, giggling. She leans in, eyes bright with mischief. "She's quite the looker."You blush despite yourself, praying to all the dark gods that no cameras catch you like this. "I, uh, well. Um." >Pardon, what the hell are you babbling about?>Well, Minna's a rare kind of woman.>MateS. Plural. tsk tsk. >HA HA YEAH SHE'S PRETTY COOL AYUP
>>20025627>Well, Minna's a rare kind of woman.And pray to god she's hasn't talk to Elia yet.
>>20025627"Which one would that be?"
>MateS. Plural. tsk tsk. WE ROLL BEFORE WE TROLL.
>>20025627>HA HA YEAH SHE'S PRETTY COOL AYUPdis gun b good.
>>20025627>>Well, Minna's a rare kind of woman.
>>20025627"I hope to god you're talking about the redhead. Otherwise, there's a Finnish ass that's about to have a rapid rendezvous with my foot."
>>20025627>>Pardon, what the hell are you babbling about?
rolled 11 = 11>>20025627>Pardon, what the hell are you babbling about?
>>20025627PRETTY COOL EH??
>>20025627>>20025627"which one?"
>>20025627MC's face when she's talking about Elia
>>20025627>Pardon, what the hell are you babbling about?
>>HA HA YEAH SHE'S PRETTY COOL AYUPThere is no right answer to this it's a trap!
>>20025627>Well, Minna's a rare kind of woman.Unless you met someone that isn't Minna that claimed such a thing in which case they were mistaken and I will have to correct them of that notion. It is a very strange thing to be one of the only men on an Island full of women who range from somewhat crazy to completely insane.
>>20025627>MateS. Plural. tsk tsk. "No, no, Mom. I mean my crewmates, the guys that fly in the plane along with me."Come on, she's your mom, no need to be too rude.
>>20025627Fuck, there is no way out of this.
>>20025627>HA HA YEAH SHE'S PRETTY COOL AYUPTHANKS FOR COMING, WE AREN'T TALKING ABOUT THIS HEY DID YOU SEE MY SHINY MEDAL?
>>20025627> Yeah, Sean's a great guy, isn't he?
>>20025663"Foot", huh? Is that what they're calling it these days?
>>20025627"Half the witches here would claim that just to mess with me. Who are we talking about here?"
>>20025676mfw Eila
>>20025691>Foot? Heh, always knew you were my boy.
>>20025627>Well, Minna's a rare kind of woman.Inb4 Minna is right behind us
I think there might be a better than good chance our mother is trolling us.
>>20025627HAHA YEAH but serious it is MateS, plural
>>20025627> Look, I don't know what Ian told you, but he and I are just crewmates, I promise!
>>20025691We do measure in Imperial around here.
rolled 39 = 39>>20025627>>HA HA YEAH SHE'S PRETTY COOL AYUPNOPENOPENOPENOPENOPEALL HANDS ABANDON SHIP.
>>20025627"Yeah, he's such a swell guy, inne?"
Agree that Elia is quite the looker.
>>20025627>Well, Minna's a rare kind of woman.If you think that it is someone else they are lying to you or completely delusional.
Consider your answer carefully here /tg/
>>20025627>Well, Minna is a rare kind of woman.Just hope to hell she isn't talking about Krupinski. Keeping that sexy slut away from our family is probably a good policy.
>>20025750Or paid attention to that phone call.But yes, maximum backpedal.
>>20025627>Well, Minna's a rare kind of woman. Now, how about you meet the guys who help keep me alive.
>>20025753NO!NO CONSIDERATION.
>>20025627>Well, Minna's a rare kind of woman.Fuck it. Might as well.
>>20025703>wings
>>20025626It's also a quest thing you fucking idiot. It means to vote against performing an action. That's like saying that "like" and "dislike" originated as words on Facebook.Desired:>Pardon, what the hell are you babbling about?>MateS. Plural. tsk tsk. >Sanya's cute, but I don't like her like -THAT-.UNDESIRED:>Well, Minna's a rare kind of woman.PLANEFAG WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING
>>20025754What's a Krupinski?
>>20025767Sold.Forget the crazy redhead, Cupcakes does naked apron.
>>20025694Can we please go with this? It nicely defuses the situation AND gives us protection from trolling by the other witches so long as our parents are on the base.
>>20025789>It nicely defuses the situation AND gives us protection from trollingTwo reasons why we can't do this.
It just occurred to me...Since when did our mother, who is a reletively proper '40's woman, refer to a man's girlfriend as 'mate' This seems out of place...>Minaor>YUP, CRAZY IVAN!!
>>20025627>Well, Minna's a rare kind of woman.Fuck, why not.
>HA HA YEAH SHE'S PRETTY COOL AYUPFUCKING Minnafags I swear to god get your head in the game. Today is not about her! Today is about our crew, us, and apparently our OWN FAMILY! Our country can come too so long as they keep restocking that buffet table.
>>20025691"The foot, for instance, is an age-old sexual symbol...the shoe or slipper is a corresponding symbol of the female genitals." --Freud, "The Sexual Aberrations"
>>20025627>Pardon, what the hell are you babbling about?Probably the best option.>Well, Minna's a rare kind of woman.Gonna go with this one.>MateS. Plural. tsk tsk. Not gonna score any points with mom here.>HA HA YEAH SHE'S PRETTY COOL AYUPThis one could potentially be bad, what if they want a group photo or something and we have to search for one of them.
>>20025802she met O'hare.only witch I can see her calling mate
>>20025830>group photoThen we go find Minna and hope for the best.
>>20025830>not gonna score points with momWE're not talking about wimminz, mouth-breather.
>>20025830Really? With Mom's insinuation completely undefined you think name-dropping Minna is the best option? This was your honest risk assessment?
"AAHA, YEAH!" you agree, plastering a shit-eating grin on your face out of pure reflex. You've absolutely no damn idea whom your mother's strange little arbitrary brain has decided you're engaged with, so you resort to your default ploy of generically safe appeasement. "Yeah, that's my mate, all looky, and stuff!" You sling your arm around your mother's shoulders. "Boy I know how ta pick'em don't I? Anyways, these are my blood brothers and crewmen and bold companions of the skyways blue and-" "-aren't you even going to introduce me?" Eila says in a silky voice, her arm slipping around your other shoulder. She kisses your cheek warmly. Quite warmly. Still kissing, she's moving towards you eaaaAAARGH-"He's so shy in public," she giggles as you try to lurch away from her. Arm clamped firmly around your shoulder, she just rocks with you, laughing merrily as if it's a game you two play all the time; the old favorite 'Flee the Raping Valkyrie.'"Have you met his commander?" Eila purrs, hanging off you like an affectionate vine."They have," Frank Luke says, stepping into view by your father. "I've been telling them *all* about you."This statement is punctuated by a knowing, proud look from your father and a tunnel of darkness from Mother. "When I heard about you two, I was so happy for you, I- I-" Luke holds out something wrapped in brown paper. "I got you a wedding present."
>>20025929Luke leaves this room in a bag.
>>20025929>EilaYES
>>20025919Might as well go with one of them off the bat and get it over with, she isn't going to name drop anyone herself, and I doubt planfag won't take the chance for parental drama.
>>20025929RESIST URGE TO KILLRESIST URGE TO KILLRESIST URGE TO KILLRESIST URGE TO KILL
>>20025929Laugh. Laugh in their fucking faces. Don't let them pull off that bullshit.
>>20025929HAHATIME FOR FINNISH REVENGE
>>20025929Indicate to Robin to tackle Luke immediately.
>>20025929Eat the package. Call the cops. I don't give a fuck.
>>20025929Stare daggers at Luke.DAGGERS.With Martian heat rays attached.
>>20025929DIVE AT HIM AND CHOKE THE LIFE FROM HIS SPINDLY BASTARD NECK
>>20025929LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKE
GNOME THE LIGHTSCRAZY IVAN THE FUCK OUTTA THERE
>>20025929Beat the shit outta Luke.Eila should be a suitable weapon.
I was about to go FFFFFFFF but I saw the retards cheering the shit getting piled up so I'm speechless.
>>20025929EILA IS BEST WAIFUMINNA IS PIG
>>20025950Seconding this.
>>20025929React with physical violence.We just got a Medal of Honor, no one can touch us today.
>>20025929I love you Planefag, maximum Fabulous. CANNOT look bad in front of Mom, grin and hold the line.
>>20025929She thinks this is enough to get us?Bitch, we will get married and have three kids before we even begin to think about break off this game of chicken.
>>20025978Panzer pls go
>>20025974No go with it, we ride this out till the end.Boys! From the producer of Incest Chicken, It's the next installment of the franchise! Marriage chicken!
>>20025929Oh lawd. This can only end well.
>>20025929Fucking with our family. There's low, and then there's LOW. GG Luke, you've hit us in a way we can't hit back.Now, watch that precious back of yours next time you're in the air. Wouldn't want there to be any...confusion.
>>20025929Punch Luke in the face.Elia get off me you creepy Finnish nutjob. We're not going out.
>>20026009Don't tempt me.
Elia won this timehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pN2ZJBh92SM
>>20025929Can't make a seance press everywhereCan't let the press see us in a romantic relationship with a witchDo not want to tell our parents that they've been lied to and break their hearts, especially our mother.Give her a 'What the hell' look.Keep calm and try to make it like our relationship isn't that serious yet and marriage is way far away
>>20026009Because our last game of chicken went so well, didn't it?
>>20026025DO IT FAGGOT
>>20025929OH MY WHATS THIS? EILA IS OUR TRUE WAIFU?EILA PRIDE WITCH WIDE! MINNA/TRUDE/KOTTERSFAGS CAN SUCK IT
>>20026025I'll expect that smut by tomorrow morning.
>>20026009Sixty-eight years later, MC dies of a heart attack in his sleep. When Elia wakes up next to his corpse she laughs in his face and exclaims 'HA I WIN'
>>20026033We've already told her that we were engaged. Remember the call home?
>We still need to inform Sanya of the good news
>>20026044I'd just like to point out that Eila/MC has about as much traction as Trude/MC.
This thread may let me see something going 200%+ retard (as we already hit full retard already)
>>20026034That sounds like something a chicken would say.
>>20026025Im specifically tempting you!
>>20026076Which is to say there is exactly one guy still supporting each one.
The only way to win is not to play. Seize package. Toss package straight up. Laugh maniacally. NOPE. NOT TODAY.
>>20026076Less, even.
>>20025929Sweep her off her feet and hold her.She wants to play cutesy...Let's play cutesy...
Marriage chicken. Two can play at that game.
>>20026070Fuck, you're right
"LU~KE," Eila giggles masterfully, sweeping the package out of his hands. She rips the wrapping away with mad abandon, her croons of wonder already starting before she catches full sight of the item within. You stare, uncomprehending. The item resembles the staff of achela- asce- ally-ooptapus or whatever the fuck they call it. A truly massive nail - a railroad spike, you guess - resting inside the spiral of a very-well carved wooden snake. "Whu," you say, still two steps behind the events unfolding. Eila blushes a little - not much, but with her complexion, little is needed. She titters gaily, turning her face away with feigned embarassment. "It's a - well, in Finland - it's traditional, but it's, uh-""A fertility charm," Luke supplies inventively, wicked glee dancing in his bright smile. "Well, to be precise, it's meant for the groom-"Something you shouted at Luke some weeks ago surfaces in your memory... concerning nail-studded pytho- oh hell. You've been well and truly ambuscaded. It's time for backup. "But you two should meet Minna," Eila says smoothly. "She's got LOTS to tell you~"Urgent backup. >You need...>A few bars of the Moonlight Sonata!>An Ethnic Drinker in a China Shop!>No, just Minna.
>>20026025Where's my Eila smut kota? Make sure to add some sanya in there
>>20026083I'm not sure what your problem is. This is pretty much on par for the course in a SWQ thread...
Gnome the lights out.Then either:CRAZY IVANorPunch luke in his stupid face
>>20025929Disregard Eilas, acquire Germans. I mean, we just got *how* many medals? Why the hell would we waste time with the Finnish Cossack molester when we could probably have either Minna or another roll in the hay with Krupinski.
>>20025929We solve this now. No dancing about the issue, no letting Eila fuck with our family's emotions. We tell them straight up that we are not going out in the least and that Eila seems to not only be fucking with us but screwing with them which completely goes against prank etiquette.
>>20026103I'm going to sit this one out. Any choice is a good choice.>>20026104I'll have it ready for the next TWQ.
>No, just Minna.Eila won't be a bitch in front of her CO. Not if she's going to ever fly again.
>>20026103Call in ROBIN DYNAMIC ENTRY SPECIAL
>>20026103>>No, just Minna.QUICKLY, BEFORE OUR FAMILY FINDS HER
>>20026103>No, just Minna.Hey Minna~! Guess what one of your subordinates has been saying~
>>20026103My body is ready
>>20026106I made this post before refreshing but it's still valid
>>20026103>No, just Minna.
>>20026103>No, just Minna.See how Eila and Luke fare when Minna finds out what they've done.Let our Wing Commander sort out this...paperwork problem.
>>20026115Seconded. Seconded so hard. She crossed the fucking line.
rolled 53 = 53>>20026103>You need...hard liquor>No, just Minna.
As you guys vote, let me say there's really only one great choice for this one. Eila has left herself wide-open for a counterattack of like kind, on this one.
rolled 5 = 5>>20026103Yes - Let's find Minna, greet her with a passionate kiss, and tell her ALL about this.
>>20026115Changing my vote.
>A few bars of the Moonlight Sonata!You hit below the belt, Juutilainen. You brought the gloves off.
>>20026103DO NOT BACK DOWN! WE DO NOT LOSE! WE ARE ACE PILOTS! WHO WON MEDALS! LOTS OF MEDALS!IF THIS BITCH THINKS SHE CAN OUTCLASS US SHE IS WRONG. 100% WRONG. WE WILL NOT TAKE THIS SHAME IN FRONT OF OUR FATHER. IF WE ARE TO CRASH AND BURN WE SHALL DO SO WITH HONOUR. WE SHALL DO SO WITH INTEGRITY AND NEVER ONCE SHALL WE STEP BACK FROM THE TORTUOUS DEMISE WE WILL EMBARK ON.IF THIS BITCH WANTS TO DANCE, LETS DANCE.
>>20026158MOONLIGHT SONATAWE NEED THE COSSACK
>>20026158...kiss de girl?
>>20026103there is no good way to turn this situation around without some sort of shitstorm is there?
>>20026115Meh. Our pranks has gone a little far, too. I say we give her to Krupinski to use.>>20026121This.
>>20026103Miyafuji. We need sparkles.Then say that a few nights ago Miyafuji touched our genitals and in Japanese culture that means she is legally our wife.We've won all the medals and now were going to have all the drama.
>>20026103"Yes, Eila, we should meet Minna. You know, your boss? The one who we're ACTUALLY an item with?"
>>20026166She's fucking with things that are sacred.It's our turn. Spin it carefully and let Elia dig her own grave.Then bail her out; because she needs to know WHO is her Motherfucking GOD! We'll take it from her and give it back just to show we can.
>>20026158Fuck it, she brought this on herself, kiss her poster boy style. Dip her low and begin the smooch.That, or run to Minna to make sure we didn't fall into an alternate universe or a heat stroke halucination on stage.
>>20026103>Moonlight Sonata.Hey! Have you told SANYA yet?
>>20026103>A few bars of the Moonlight Sonata!The Adorable Cossack shall be our salvation!
>>20026158The only TRUE COUNTERATTACK I think would be to announce our engagement to the press, officially. They can't be more than 10 ft away from us at any moment, its goin to be in the papers tomorrow regardless.Kick it up a notch, then take a dance on the floor.
HAHA TIME FOR ADORABLE COSSACK
>>20026103>Call MinaOh Eila! I know how you're ok with the mistress.
>>20026103"Hey Minna, funny story, heh, Elia sort of told my parents I was marrying her. Heh, funny huh""...Please don't kill anyone"
No, Sanya will guilt her. Ask Sanya.
Acquire Minna and Sanya. Expose Eila's lesbianism.
>>20026103>A few bars of the Moonlight SonataAdorable Cossack is solution.
Locate Sanyan
>>20026158Oh this can only end well.What are you up to, I wonder...
All dese Minna people.You guys, It was FINLAND'S IDEA. You're walking right into her trap!Minna likes LAUGHING AT US. Remember what she said when we were back at the baths? When we asked if we're okay she scoffed? She could be in on it!
>>20026103>A few bars of the Moonlight Sonata!
>>20026247This. We get Sanya to make her admit she was lying, then we introduce them to Minna.
>>20026103Alas, I cannot marry her, she loves another! It would be too cruel!Oooooh Saaaaaanyaaaaaaaa~
>kissing time
>>20026274
>>20026103An ethnic drinker in a china shopSEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN
Fuck off, Eila. Fuck off, Minna.>A few bars of the Moonlight Sonata!SANYA. SANYA. (no, we don't like her that way. But she'll work better as a little sister than ROBIN WHY ARE YOU NOT HELPING.)
>>20026267We best get both, just to be sure.
>>20026272>>20026274Oh, man. One-two punch with Sanya and Minna.
>>20026282oh and call sanya
Where are Sanya and Minna anyway? We should just grab the closest.
>>20026104She stares at you, that same confident and devilish look you've become familiar with on her face. She shifts on the bed, raising an arm and wrapping it around your head. "Oh, darling," she says with sarcasm so grotesquely obvious to you, you can nearly taste the italics in her voice, "won't you make me the happiest wife?"Her smirk challenges you to give up, to finally let this go. Years of flirting, banter, dating, challenging each other to see how far you could bear to go...she's crazy if she thinks you'll back out now. Now, she will be the one to yield. "Of course, Eila," you answer with the same irritating, arrogant tone.She reaches up and kisses you as you lower yourself. "Then take me all the way."Oh, don't worry, Eila. You'll take her to her limits...and beyond.
>>20026348Wait till the end of the thread Kotters
>>20026348
>>20026348>Buzz Lightyear of RAF.png>captcha: poonsen meddlesome;
>>20026367I'm waiting for the next TWQ.
Oh god I can just imagine it now, Sanya going "S-so I was j-just some toy then?"It'll be beautiful.
>>20026348You have subwitches to write Kotters.
>>20026376In all honesty, unless that's Sanya's attempt at bouncing Elya that would kinda blow to hurt the poor thing just to get Finland off our own backs...
>>20026103Sanya seems like the safest choice. We can be fairly certain she'll take our side, and she's the best bet for reining in Eila.
>>20026375You are such a comedian
>>20026379I'm working on it, you bastard. It's not like there's more than three of you, anyway. Don't worry.
>>20026394I'm pretty sure Sanya would understand what's going on.
In desperation, in terror, there is only one, final thing to do.S-O-S.You whistle hoarsely as the laughing, evil faces of your smug, victorious foes close in about you. Somewhere past your father's shoulder, you see Ian, who's observing with Sean at a safe distance, quirk his mouth in disdain at your pitiful attempt. He purses his lips and puts his superior familiarity with piano tunes to work. He whistles the first few bars of the Moonlight Sonata. Clear and crisp as a bell. Familiar and dear, the tune draws the immediate, unconscious attention of a certain young Witch as surely as someone will turn their head upon hearing their name spoken across a crowded room. Eila's slinking up on your arm again, going for the kill, when a wail rips the air behind you. The knot of people breaks apart with abrupt, cold shock, twirling to look upon Sanya, on her knees, hands pulling at her hair. "Eila!" she cries, her tone a broken, miserable question. The Finnish Witch's face is frozen, her last laugh brittle and cracking. "WHY!?" Oh sweet jesus. This is more then you'd hoped for. Much more. Your glee at such spectacular success just drops through the echoing hollow void opening in your chest. Sanya's fully fooled - and in another second she''ll out her love, her socially suicidal love, before ten thousand video cameras. It must not be!
>>20026424>then
>>20026424
WAT DO?>Dr. Tesla's had a breakthrough, Sanya! She'll be well soon! She'll remember everything and you'll be sisters again! Trust me!" >Forgive me, Sanya! It's you I love, it's always been you!>Other?
rolled 94 = 94>>20026424ABANDON SHIP, ALL HOPE IS LOST.
>>20026424Oh shit, we dun goofed.
>>20026424HOPE YOU GUYS DIDN'T LIKE SANYA.HAHAHA.
>>20026424Mad dash! Abduct the Adorable Cossack!then once out of sight and earshot of errybody, explain things to her.
>Other?"Are you done, Eila? Now go patch things up with Sanya."
>>20026424Did you idiots forget it's 1943? Lesbianism could ruin them. We should have just gone with Minna.
>>20026459>Forgive me, Sanya! It's you I love, it's always been you!
>>20026459> FORGIVE ME, SANYA, IT'S YOU!Only because MC clearly isn't thinking right at the moment and it's the dumb answer.
>>20026424Run and grab, quickly!
>>20026459TESLA MAN!TESLA!There's nothing that man cannot fix!
Lord have mercy on us all, what have we done? It wasn't supposed to be this way.
>>20026424Alert! Threat to Adorable Cossack detected! INITIATE DEFENSIVE MANEUVERS
>>20026424I say we let it happen and sidle away in the commotion.
Stop voting for IT WAS ALWAYS YOU, SANYA! you morons. We could scar the poor thing.
>>20026459>Forgive me, Sanya! It's you I love, it's always been you!All the confusion.
>>20026459>Forgive me, SanyaWe commit social suicide and family suicide in front of our parents. But it is all for the witch. We must take the fall, after all, we are but a 'depraved pilot'
>>20026459>Forgive me, Sanya! It's you I love, it's always been you!Gonna have to bite the bullet on this one.
>>20026459>Tesla! Invoke the madman
>>20026424>Waifu-fag Eila>Save CossakTHERE IS ONLY ONE OPTIONAlso planefag you lying sack of shit, you said that Eilanya was a one way relationship!
>>20026494What.We may be happy-go-bounce, but we don't outright ruin our wingmens' lives.
>>20026459>Forgive me, Sanya! It's you I love, it's always been you!Oh man this is going to end so poorly I can't stop laughing
>>20026424>Request a moment>Drag Eila to distressed Sanyan~>Lift her to her feet>Discuss
>>20026512Maybe we are the ones being fooled and Sanya's playing a prank on us too.
>>20026512You may want to go over our encounter with Eila in Sanya's room again.
>>20026512He's right; it doesn't seem to scan. Wasn't Sanya crying earlier over how Eila never listens when she says no?
>>20026424>>20026459Well, the Tesla line probably isn't gonna fly, and I can't think of any decent alternatives, so I'm gonna go with>Forgive me, Sanya! It's you I love, it's always been you!It meshes perfectly with the situation as seen by outsiders, so as far as a method of getting Sanya out of hot water it seems like the most effective option.Puts our bacon right back into the fryer, but...well, we'll find some way to deal with that. At any rate, we must save the Adorable Cossack.
>Dr. Tesla's had a breakthrough, Sanya! She'll be well soon! She'll remember everything and you'll be sisters again! Trust me!"
>>20026424Oh shit, save the Cossack!
>>20026541How?
>>20026480More like we forgot Sanya is a little girl and probably wouldn't be able to fully understand what's going on and what we want her to do. Foolish optimism.
Teslaaaaaa
>>20026459Going to have to go with Tesla here. Of all the options, this will cause the most confusion and thus the highest probability of gtfo with a massive social bomb being dropped.Alternatively:All the lights are in series in the castle, no? Time to gnome our way to victory as we use the cover of darkness to flee the cluster fuck. Use what the plot allows us.
>>20026533There's a difference between liking someone and not liking what someone is doing.
>Other"Bogey on my <appropriate clockface direction to Elia>, help me shake 'er, night-flight wing[wo]man!"
>>20026424Drag Elia to Sanya." -I told you she's been worried sick. You don't leave your wingwitch out here with the press and the brass alone. Seriously Sanya; Elia's been in tears and tugging my uniform all askew... She's been absolutely out of her mind."
>>20026459>OtherGrab Eila by the arm, grab Sanya by the arm, drag out of the room before things get any worse.
>>20026459Elia, put on your big girl pants, go over to Sanya, get on your knees and apologize. If you excuse me I have a pressing appointment to make with alcohol.
>>20026424Am I the only one who thinks that Sanya is hamming it up on our behalf?
Grab Cossack, then make like a tree and get the fuck out of thereAlso, bring Hellcow into this fustercluck somehow. Maybe it can attack Luke for us
>>20026424Okay, okay, I know how to play this."Sanya! You really ARE the best little sister a man could have! Even though it's just a silly prank," *nod savagely here* "you're concerned for a family you've never met!""Oh, Eila, you cad! It's time we ended this prank before our loved ones," *glare hard* "get hurt!"
>>20026477That's just way too reasonable a way to defuse the situation, so we can't use it. I say we do what we always do. Cause a distraction and run from the problem. Maybe we can gnome the lights out, cause a feedback loop in the speakers or trip Montgomery into Patton or something?
>>20026548Not if we walk over and huge her, then say prankwar.
>>20026459Oh god, the Tesla line will blow up on us so hard. That is the only choice.
>>20026561We can't take the chance that she isn't.
>>20026561Nah she's not stupid, im certain she's smart enough to know what's going on.
>>20026158Fuck, I can't tell if planfag has tricked us or not.
>>20026554This is actually brilliant -- nothing incriminating has slipped yet, so if we can subtly communicate to Sanya what's really going on, we might be able to both shake Eila and keep Sanya safe from the hungry maw of the press.Of course, that's assuming Sanya will be able to pick up on our cue...
Completely throw Elia to the wolves and let parents [and Sanya] know she's lying. I'm not sure how to convert to bounce, but important.
>>20026561I agree, but it's also not a risk worth taking. If she is then we high-five her after for pulling one over on us.>>20026555I'mm vote other and go with this guy's!
rolled 72 = 72>>20026587He said that to fuck with us. There was no 'right' answer.
Hang on, hang on. Do you people REALLY think that shouting out "HEY Y'ALL PRESS! I'M DATING A LITTLE GIRL!" is a *good* solution to this?
Fire our sidearm into the ceiling and start yelling.
>>20026643pfft
>>20026641Go to bed Dante
rolled 51 = 51>>20026643Yell for Kathy then fire!
>>20026459The only way this could be better is if we turned it into a Broadway Musical.
>>20026641No. But we'll be the ones humiliated here, not Sanya. Hopefully Minna will believe us when we tell her about this.
>>20026641Do you really think the press has enough balls to publish "Medal of Honor Recipient is a Paedophile" during a time this dark? The army will have them all crucified if not just censored.
>>20026554second
>>20026666Shit, it's already a trashy romance novel turned soap opera.
>>20026643Works for Kathy, may as well try it.
>>20026641Well, do you have any better alternatives? It's certainly not a "good" choice, but it's certainly better than sending the Adorable Cossack to get reamed for her forbidden love, and it seems pretty obvious that the Tesla line isn't gonna accomplish much of anything one way or another.
>>20026678If they'd be able to publish that Sanya and Eila are lesbians, they'd be able to publish this.
"CONRAD YOU ARE A GNOME"A good old fashioned brawl should draw some attention
>>20026459>B-but that's forbidden love!
>>20026678The anon has a point, there...
>>20026587Actually, the entire concept of giving us choices is a wonderful bit of trickery. He writes the situation, then gives a number of choices that map to how the MC is thinking right now. When he's thinking clearly, we get smart choices that will go well no matter what. As things get more chaotic and MC starts losing his shit, the choices start getting worse and worse. We can choose something that isn't presented, and maybe get it to happen when enough of us vote for it, but the idea is that the choices are where MC's "mind" goes.Honestly, I kinda like it. But then, I'm a sucker for metafiction in all kinds.
>>20026705perhaps we'd best give her a wink so we can at least TRY to send her a signal to play along
You know what really sucks? Robin clearly was in on this and is just watching us stew. We will have to prank her back at some point in the future.
>>20026459Say we are eloping with hell cow.
>>20026643http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ff5DlpZiMZ0Why do I keep thinking of this scene....
>>20026643There have been several occasions in the quest where this would have had more favorable results than our chosen course of action.It does not speak well for our decision making skills.
>>20026733Prank? No. We are beyond "Prank". It is time for "beating".
>>20026741Yes, but then we would be stealing Kathy's schtick. And that would end poorly. Or with a Yosemite Sam style ceiling shoot off. Either way, the collateral damage would be STAGGERING.
Sanya's anguished face grips your heart with pain as the thoughts of all the traumas the girl has suffered, unasked, undeserved, and through all of it, unaided. You can't let her bear the cross of social stigma - it'll rebound on her father, and for this she'll NEVER forgive herself. Unthinking, you fling yourself into the first ploy you can think of, for any hesitation will betray the game as false. "SANYA, FORGIVE ME!" you wail, flinging yourself to your knees and embracing her dramatically. "It's you I love, it was always you!" The air pressure drops perceptibly as every soul in thirty yards holds their breath.You realize you're hugging a fourteen year old girl.A cold haze descends over your mind as you contemplate you've only fifteen rounds in your weapon - seven per two mags, one in the chamber. You'll have to improvise, because nobody is leaving this room ali-"My brother deserves better then *you,*" Sanya snarls as she returns your embrace. Struck dumb by shock, you make your best tactical choice of the night by keeping your fucking mouth shut. "U-u-sing me to get to him!" she whimpers. "A-all your promises and a-a-ll the good times and all along, it was-" she buries her head in your shoulder, and starts weeping.And with that, she's won. The Adorable Cossack weaves her spell, and the entire press corps and the most famous war correspondents in the hemisphere sway to and fro under her formidable spell.
Sanya, you deserve the medals more than we do.
"No, I love you Robin!" (/joke, unvoted-for answer)
>>20026760>beatingLittle sister. No matter how deserving of a beat down, this never ends well.>but it is the 40s man...NEVER ENDS WELL
>>20026800I fold
>>20026800My god. How can we ever repay her?
>>20026741>>20026741>>20026741>>20026741>>20026741SCREENCAP PLZ
>>20026800This can only end terribly. I love it when things are back to normal.
>>20026800>"My brother deserves better then *you,*" Sanya snarls as she returns your embrace. Motherfuck. That was well thrown.
>>20026800>eWe gay now.
>>20026800Adorable Cossack wins, flawless victory
>>20026800>americans clapping.gif
>>20026800Totally worth the risk.
>>20026800Fuckin hell SanyanCuteness should never be weaponized like this. It is too horrible to behold.
She should get an oscar for that performance.
>>20026800>"My brother deserves better then *you,*"PERFECT!
She is so getting the best pillowfort possible. We can steal all the pillows in the castle and close off an entire tower for the fort.I will be glorious.
>>20026800>"My brother deserves better then *you,*" Sanya snarlsoshit, Robin's gonna clock her
>>20026877>It* will
>>20026800We should just straight up give her one of our medals. I like how we were almost MURDERED, and then awarded every medal ever made ever because of THE PRESIDENT, and this was still the most traumatic thing that transpired.And hell, that's just this thread, that's not even counting being thrown through walls or all the other crazy shit over the past few runs. Sanya wins, flawless victory. Ian gets points for an assist.Small points.
>>20026800Oh lordy, Sanya just graduated bouncing school. I am so proud. They...they just grow up so fast.
On that note we HAVE been ignoring our REAL little sister for far too long
>>20026833
>>20026800> ssh, ssh, it'll be okay, let's get you to bed> exit, still protecting Sanya.> high-fives outside her room
"You s-saw him with the French Girl in the paper and you had to top her!" Sanya mutters as the room listens. Her credibility was borne up by her adorable charisma when she spun that sibling line...."It's just a *game* to you."...but you realize her words concerning Eila all bite with bitter, cold authenticity. "You may as well paint the Swastika back on your Striker, *Finn,*" Sanya hisses, and the entire room gasps in pure shock. Eila staggers back as if physically struck, and even Sanya trembles a bit, as if her own words caught her unawares. And then the lights go out.
>>20026894Pin our wings on her.
>>20026907well that got dark quickly.
>>20026800Meanwhile, afterwords....
>>20026907DUCK and protect SanyaAssassins inbound
>>20026800Planefag, you magnificent bastard.Also, when we finally get around to operation pillow-fort-and-ice-cream-for-imoutos, Sanya gets a quadruple share of the ice cream.
>>20026915>darkOh you.
>>20026833...and here you go
>>20026907Time to book it.
>>20026900She hasn't been a very good little sister though nor do I think she cares for that role really. She's at the point where she wants him not to butt into her life being all over protective.
>>20026919THIS.
>>20026907FUCK REAL SHIT INBOUND!
>>20026907YOU DID NOT NEED TO GO THAT FAR RUSKIE!
>>20026907I don't even know if she's acting any more.
>>20026907Gnome them back on, damn it!
>>20026907Wrong Swastika. The Finnish one was the personal emblem of the Swedish Noble that founded the Finnish Air Force in 1919. No connection to Ze Germans at all.
>>20026907>"You may as well paint the Swastika back on your Striker, *Finn,*"Little too far there, but you're getting the hang of it.Now time to run before someone murders us in the dark.
>>20026900Through no fault of our own. She is impossible to find.
:/
>>20026907ASSASSIN!
>>20026907Shits getting a little TOO real
Terrified murmurs erupt in the darkness until the raid lamps come on, filling the hangar with dim ambiance. Outside, in the failing light, the long, whooping howls of the air raid sirens begin, their shrill cry racing up your spine and whipping up your blood as the adrenaline flows anew.As the party erupts into motion both purposeful and panicked, two men stand steadfast. Ian turns a smug smirk onto Sean, and your radar operator begrudgingly removes a bill from his pocket and passes it over.
>>20026969Those fuckers
>>20026969I don't know what's happening.
>>20026969YEEEES! TIME TO FLY!
>>20026969Pick up cossack. Exit stage left.
>>20026978We're getting our ass to the motherfucking Widow, that's what's happening. There be aliums afoot!
rolled 7 = 7GET TO THE CHOPPA!I MEAN PLANE!GET TO THE PLANE!
rolled 73 = 73>>20026969Welp. Back to work back to work boys and girls.
>>20026969Grab Sanya and the crew and make for the hanger at flank speed.
>>20026969"I bet the medal ceremony's gonna get interrupted by aliums"Yup.NOWWe airman. SCRAMBLE.
>>20026969Finish the hug with Sanya, ruffle her hair and toss her over our shoulder. We've got Aliums to kill and we want our Adorable Cossack Night Witch with us for it. To the Widow.
>>20026969Good to see things are back to normal.Now then:>INTO THE FIRE!
>>20026999GET TO DA PLAYHN!
rolled 39 = 39>>20027004>Back to work back to work How did I do that...
Shit, we were just honored as big damn heroes and now there's an attack? Calling it now, someone's gonna die tonight.
>>20026969NEXT TIME ON STRIKE WITCHES: Okay there's no clever way to say "The entire fucking island is going to explode in the biggest battles of the war" so, uh, there, I said it.STRIKE WITCHES will resume SATURDAY, 7:30 PM. Oh the glory that will be.
>>20027028Maybe if we are lucky it'll be Malory
>>20027028Probably us
>>20027034PLAAAANEFAAAAAG!
>>20027034FAAPPPPANNGGEEELLLLLLI am completely fine with this. Thanks for not being dead and all. It is good to have you back.
>>20026969SEAN! YOU FUCKER!
>>20027034GAAAAAEFAAAALP
>>20027034"Shit will explode most magnificently" is one way of putting it.
>>20027034FFFUUUUCKKyou.
Planefag, question for you.You are walking down street with fully load assault rifle.From left come screaming German with axe.From right come screaming Fin with axe.You have much bullet, enough shoot both of them.Question, who is shot first?
>>20027034> not going for multiple threads at one goWell, I guess you did just get back.
>>20027034Fucking sweet, i'll be hungover or drunk for that one!
>>20027073Himself.
>>20027034RAISE THE FLAG ONCE MORE!IN THE EAST, THE EAGLE WILL BE FED!ONCE AGAIN WE MARCH TO WAR!WE WILL MARCH FOR VICTORY OR DEATH!
Historical note: The symbol of the Finnish Air Force was, by coincidence, a blue swastika (it was the hipster-popular symbol of the 20s and 30s, which explains why a failed art student with a DEEP philosophy picked it up) and the Finns formed a pseudo-alliance with the Germans - even accepting shipments of Bf-109 fighters - because the Russians attacked them with intent to imperailize. Sanya was certainly milking things to help you, but her tears were real and there's some real bitterness coming up there. More then she realized... more then she meant to say, further then she meant to go. whelp the dickish finn gets the troll
>>20027037Or Luke.Please let it be Luke.
Wait... are we at the image limit? Welp. Next thread I guess.See you Saturday.
>>20027034but I work saturday!> look at schedule> 12:00 - 7:00YESSSSSSSSS
>>20027094NONONONONOSOMEONE DELETE SOMETHING
>>20027094NOOOOOPUT IT IN THE OTHER THREAD>>20022758
>>20027034Thank you, planefag. You are great.
“So, James,” Bristol began as he walked around behind his desk. Anders stared at his CO’s table nervously. Flip must’ve been kidding; he wouldn’t be that stupid, would he? “…What do you think about Okabe volunteering us for Britain?” Anders pushed the thoughts of Flip and his Cossack from his head. “Well, it’ll be nice to see colors outside the grey-brown-tan spectrum.” He said taking a seat in the old leather chair that had been hauled over from their previous base. “Though I guess it’s sort of odd that we’re being allowed to move so far for a single battle.” He thought for a second. “Think it might be that bad? That they’d bring in planes from as far away as we are?” Bristol shrugged. “Well, it certainly isn’t good. You saw the same maps I did; that was a lot of red. I guess we’ll see if they need us or not, but Okabe probably wouldn’t rush to volunteer us if the Martians didn’t have a pretty good chance at winning this one.” He looked down at his desk as he started to sort various papers. “This desk is a mess… I should probably get all these papers filed together befo-“ He brushed a hand over the desk, testing it. “Did the janitor clean this with sugar-water or something? Feels like goddamn flypaper.”
>>20027073Comrade, I may not be Planefag but I know answer. Step back a few steps, will save bullet and you eez gonna get precut meat for village in a short amount of time.
>>20027101You would need to delete multiple somethings. Which I don't think is happening.
Anders choked violently. “You alright, Lieutinant?” Bristol asked. “Need a glass of water?” Anders coughed a few more times before croaking out. “NO! Nothing! It’s Nothing.” After a few deep breaths he managed. “There’s a janitor?” ~*~ The morning’s sortie was uneventful, besides Flip getting Graf to open up a bit and chat, to him at least. Bishop was, of course, frosty towards the pilots as per usual. The one thing the sortie was severely lacking in was Martians. “Maybe they’re throwing everything they’ve got at Britain?” Flip theorized when Anders noted how boring this made things. An uneventful hour later Red Flight had landed back at Fortress Alexandria. As the two pilots made their way back into Independent Territory of Trouseria, Bozo turned and hollered from the table where he and Franklyn had been playing dominos. “So, heard the good news yet?” “No!” Anders said incredulously. “They actually okayed it?”
>>20027101Done!Drawfag, please post drawfaggotry!
>>20027111Is clever answer, but is not right answer,
>>20027112Other thread bro:>>20022758
“Yep! Overheard Chen telling the witches earlier. Shit must really be hitting the fan up there.” He said with a smirk. “GREEN!” he yelped suddenly. “I… I don’t think I remember what it looks like. And women! Oh God, an entire island full of them! If I see one girl who’s never had airplanes strapped to her legs…” He sighed. “This entire thing, it’ll have all been worth it…” Anders couldn’t help but smile. Bozo was goddamned right. They’d been stuck in this fucking desert for nearly a year. But Britain… Martian invasion or not it was civilization! They had movies there! Films! Merry Melodies! Radios that didn’t play the same three goddamn records every day It was less than an hour later that the announcement was officially made, by which time the entire base had heard it. Okabe called an emergency briefing- They were flying out at 0800 the next day. That meant the groundcrew had to pack up all the essential equipment- tools, weapons, parts, box them and be ready to load them onto the transport craft that would be arriving in the wee hours of the morning. Then the non-combat crew would board a C-47 leaving at 0600, so they’d have time to prepare for the Lightnings. From Alexandria they’d be flying north across the Med to Italy, refuel and continue on to a base in southern France where they’d rendezvous with a group of prototype B-17s or some-such- Okabe called them “YA-40s”. From there they’d fly up into Germany, topping off and then swinging around France to approach England from the East. In all it would be a six-and-a-half hour mission with little or no chance of seeing action.
>>20027073I put the entire magazine into the German, take his axe, and use it against the Finn.Everybody knows that only decapitation or a wooden stake through the heart can stop a Finn. They hunt TANKS with GLASS BOTTLES. Also, you need to post that fucking unboxing video already.
Archive up as soon as Subwitches is finished.Please hold.Also, Demons 5 tonight. Still have no idea if I should adjust dates according to new developments or just stay the course.
>>20027135Capitalist pig! You think brave soviet people are made of bullets!?
>>20027158Hey Firefox. Stop being a cunt and let me have my name, god damn it.
>>20027094imageshack that shit because we wub roo
>>20027146Ah yes, Very good, is correct answer.Of course you kill german first, is business before pleasure.
>>20027146I STILL HOLD YOU ACCOUNTABLE MOTHER FUCKER! CRIX AND I WANT OUR 100$ WORTH OF UNBOXING VIDEO
>>20027196>Of course you kill german first, is business before pleasure.You are like a waterspout at sunset; poetic, wondrous horror
>>20027219I can only try.I do not often make post, but when I do, I am glad that planefag has make like of many.
Drawfag accidentally posted two pictures of Minna and Trude over in SuWQ. He might delete and repost here, but until then...
>>20027199Crix can eat a dick anyway.I do want to see the unboxing video though
>>20027214>>20027227LET THE WAIFU WARS BEGIN
>>20027257Nah there was no space in this thread so people told him to post them there
>>20027252>>20027269IT KEEPS HAPPENING
>>20027272Oh. Yeah, no need to worry about image limit over there.
>>20027286>>20027306WHY WON'T IT STOP
Six hours was a long, long mission. Especially since the majority of it was over friendly territory with almost no chance of seeing Martian fighters. The only break in the droning monotony had been an encounter with a chatty herd of Ponies off Italy. But then it had been back to the monotony until France.The “YA-40’s” were an interesting sight, once they caught up to them. There were six in total, and the honestly didn’t look that different from a normal B-17 until you got a look at their bellies- Their bomb bays had been sealed and in each one were two 75mm cannons- tank guns- mounted so they were pointing out the left-ventral side of the fuselage.The “Revenant” pilots were chatty enough, but with all the female company, witches though they may be, they couldn’t properly bullshit with the guys. Too many psychotic, super-powered girls with heavy weapons around to talk about previous or planned sexual conquests or which movie starlets would look good naked. That left sports and with O’Malley and Bozo from Boston and Mancini and Silverman from New York, it had taken Chen threatening the four with direct and imminent bodily harm to shut them up- he could almost kiss the psychotic Oriental.Their last fill-up was at a Luftwaffe base outside Dusseldorf. Look out while they waited for the German ground crews to start fueling, he could feel an almost electric buzz in the air. People were on edge and the tarmac seemed much more crowded than it should've been. Something was about to go down- it was in the ether around them.
The Germans were friendly enough during the two extra hours they stayed on the ground- they'd had a huge influx of aircraft being called in from across Europe, all rushing to help repel the invasion of Southern Britain. A crewman with passable English explained that their logistical infrastructure was being taxed to it's limit, and they were lucky they were heading to Britain- they had priority over the poor saps who weren't.Even with their priority over other aircraft, it was late in the afternoon when the 48-512th cruised across the last leg of their trip over British Channel they kept their heads on a swivel- their conversation muted to watch for enemies that might be lurking in the patchy clouds below.“Ten’o’clock, low!” Instantly, James Anders head snapped to watch the indicated area. “Do you see them?” Hofer called. “Down there in the clouds!” Squinting against the glare he could just barely make them out through a clear patch.“Jesus, that’s a lot of them! Tally at least two squadrons and…” Anders eyes widened as the familiar, bat-shaped aircraft emerged from a bank of clouds. “Heavies! They’ve got heavies with steamer escorts.” He called. This was a big strike package- Bigger than anything he’d seen in the Med.“Looks like their heading North…” Graf said worriedly before suddenly swearing. “SHEISSE! They’re hitting Barin!” At this point the radio was thick and fast with witch traffic. Graf was already on the horn with what he presumed was an open frequency. “Castle Barin! Castle Barin! Enemy force approaching from South, bearing Three-Three-Eight. Observe at least two fighter squadrons, heavies and escorts. Say again. Enemy force approaching-““We’re thirty miles from Barin at best-“ Franklyn warned over the radar. “No way they can get in the air fast enough.”
>>20027324Because the rape train has no brakes
Bishop spoke with an uncharacteristic worried tone. “Witches! They can get the witches up!”“Witches ain’t gonna do shit to those heavies!” Bozo called.“We need to slow them down!” Flip shouted, seemingly as worried as Bishop. Anders took a deep breath and the chaos melted away.“All sections! Tanks! Tanks! Tanks!” On that order the Lightnings jettisoned their drop tanks. “Green flight, Yellow flight. Go high, drop on them from above.” The orders were forming on his lips almost before he could think of them. “Blue Flight, Red Flight, we’re going in hard and fast. Disrupt their formations, stay aggressive.”“Lightning Lead, Reventant ‘Merry Mother’, what do you want us to do?” The lead YA-40’s captained asked.“Stay back, and try not to look like targets!” Anders called with a bit more dismissal than he probably needed- This wasn't a fight the bombers could help in, and it would be bad form as their escorts to put them in that kind of danger.Turning his attention back to the Martians below he jammed the throttles forward before winging down into a power dive. “GIVE ‘EM HELL!”
>>20027340>Herd of ponies.>you funny guy i kill you last.bitmap
>>20027403It's funny because nobody's gonna bother reading this before Saturday. Panzer's not the only one who plans shit with the Planefag.
March 16th, 1943 14:00RCAF Station Tofino, Vancouver Island The collected members of the 509th sat in a semi-circle around Rose, who was busy marking up a chalk board with lines and arrows indicating attack vectors. Nearly all of the witches were engaged in idle chatter, with the notable exceptions of Jane and Scarlet who simply stared blankly around the hangar. A dull glow of magical energy began radiating from Rose as a pair of floppy blonde dog ears sprouted from her head along with a thin matching tail. Taking this as their cue, Scarlet and Jane covered their ears. Spinning on her heel, Rose snapped her fingers causing a loud pop akin to a gunshot to ring out.“Ladies!” Rose shouted. “If I may have your attention,” she gestured at the chalkboard, “I would like to begin the briefing.”This got the attention of the squadron and the pair of Canadian witches lowered their hands from their ears.“As of twelve hundred hours, several groups of martian transports were sighted off the coast,” Rose gestured at the chalkboard, “each group is comprised of needle-fighters and saucers escorting a single transport. The transports appear to be human freighters that have been taken over the past few months.”
“Our target,” Rose continued, “is an American freighter, the Samantha Mackintosh. Stolen a good few months ago, apparently. Coastal defence will handle the other groups. The target is expected to reach the shore within two hours. The problem will be taking it down. I have requested that a fighter group meet up with us onc- Yes, Riley?”Riley, who had been waving her hand in the air, held up the Autoharp. “Gotcha covered, chief!”“What in th- Alright then, I suppose I can handle that later.” Rose took a moment to collect her thoughts. “Moving on. The escorts are spread apart in formation, if we go about them in an organized manner they shouldn't be much of a problem. Riley, you take that, erm, thing and try to find some sort of propulsion device. Ayaka, you cover her. Scarlet and Woody will take care of the saucers. The rest of us will handle the fighters. Understood?”The witches all nodded.“Excellent. Time to make demons out of you lot.”
>>20027481I am reading it. I have been waiting for weeks to find out what happens next.
March 16th, 1943 14:20Several miles off the coast of Vancouver Island Scarlet and Woody hovered a fair distance from the incoming martian fleet, staring them down while the rest of the squadron pressed on forward. Scarlet kept held her Boys AT rifle slung over her shoulder, keeping a lazy hold on the shoulder grip. Woody simply stared back and forth between the red-head and the incoming martians.“Um, shouldn't we be, y'know, doing something?” Woody flailed a hand in the direction of the aliens. “About THAT?”Scarlet slapped her hand around Woody's shoulders and ruffled her hair. “You're adorable, Wood, but stupid sometimes. We're just waiting on Jane's signal. Once I fire off a magazine, they'll probably notice us. Then it'll be your job to keep them away from me. Got it?”Woody nodded quietly.“Good. Aaaaand,” a blinding flash erupted from the other witches as they crashed into the martian formation, “here we go.” Scarlet swung the rifle around and scanned the action for a target. Picking out a saucer chasing Bobby, she took aim.“PULL!”WHAM.The martian spiralled to the ocean, billowing smoke as it fell. Scarlet slammed the bolt and sighted a second saucer on Jane's tail.“PULL!”WHAM.The second martian did several flips before smashing into the water. Scarlet flicked the back of Woody's head, which was swivelling back and forth across the battle, and pointed at a small group of fighters and saucers that were slowly getting larger.“See those squids?” Scarlet asked.Woody nodded furiously and clutched her Bren tight to her chest.“Sic 'em, girl.”
>>20027516Out of curiosity, what _do_ you read of SWQU, drawfag?
Watching Woody take off at the incoming martians, Scarlet tapped her radio.“'ey Rosie. Got some tentacles coming my way. Send someone over?”“BUSY.” Came a quick reply.Levelling her rifle on the small mob pursuing Woody, Scarlet licked her lips.WHAM.One of the fighters started listing and quickly lost altitude.WHAM.One of the saucers collided with another behind it, almost hitting Woody in the process.WHAM.No martians fell on the final shot. Scarlet spat into the ocean and ejected the magazine. The witch slipped in a second magazine from her waist pouch and took aim at the rest of the martians on her subordinate's tail. She took a few seconds to pick a target, rested her finger on the trigger and- The martian fell from the sky. Without a shot being fired. Scarlet 'hrmph'ed and sighted a second, only to watch it crash into the ocean. In a matter of seconds, Woody dispatched all of the martians chasing her through a mixed technique of bullets and what seemed to be telekinesis. Scarlet 'hrmph'ed again as the small witch formed up on her right.“Was that good?” The small witch radiated excitement.“Yeah. Great job, kiddo. One question: How did you kill those ones without shooting them?”“What? You mean the ones that Johanna got? You didn't see her?”
“Saywhatnow.”“Boo!” Johanna seemed to appear out of thin air on Scarlet's left, causing the confused red-head to let out a high-pitched shriek.“HOWTHEFUCKDIDYOUWHATINTHEFUCKSWAS-” Scarlet cleared her throat and assumed a professionally neutral demeanour, “I mean, where did you come from?”“THAT. NOISE.” Was all Johanna could get out before she started cackling like a madwoman.After a moment of stern disapproval from Scarlet, she managed to regain control of yourself.“You, erm, didn't read my file, did you?”“I, you see, the thing is...” Scarlet trailed off, unable to think of a satisfying excuse.“My talent is in camouflage magic. When I use it, you can only see me when you know I'm there. It's how I got the nickname 'the Lioness of Lorraine', you see? Lionesses try to get as close as they can to their prey before showing themselves.”“Hrmph. Uh, so anyways, looks like most of them are done with. Now we just need to bring down the frei-”KUH-THOOM.“Never mind.”
>>20027530Crap. Didn't mean to leave my name on. I try to follow as much as I can, but I am way behind on pretty much everything but the main threads. I will have to sit down on get caught up on the tank/sub quests soonish.
A tower of smoke billowed out from the freighter as it slammed into the waves. Meanwhile, Riley and Ayaka held hands and did a sort of aerial victory dance over their fallen enemy. The rest of the 509th unanimously stared down at the behemoth, slack-jawed and speechless.“That- that THING actually worked.” Scarlet mumbled, still staring in awe.“Sure did, chief! Told you I could do it!” Riley shouted, ceasing her dance to take up a position directly in front of her commanding officer, “We flew around and around and then we saw this sparky thingy sticking out and then Ayaka told me to shoot it and I fired and it went all KUH-THOOM-”“We heard.”“-and then it crashed and splashed and DO I GET A MEDAL OR SOMETHING?”Rosie simply patted her head and lazily buzzed over to Scarlet who was watching the wreck with her head tilted.“Thoughts, Red?”“Something's wrong. Look,” Scarlet pointed vaguely at the floating wreck, “see anything weird?”“There's nothing coming out.” Rosie spoke in a soft voice, still shaken.“No survivors, no bodies, no nothing. Thing wasn't even armed. It's like they just stuck their flying things on it and shoved it at us.”“That would explain why most of the escorts started heading back a few minutes after we hit. I don't know why, but I'll radio the other groups. Let them know what's up.”“Round up the posse and head home then?”“Looks like it. Not much left to do here.” Rosie turned and flew back to the group.Scarlet looked from the freighter to the witches and back again. With a faint nod, she formed up with the rest of the girls.
>>20027516Then do drop by the Sub Witches thread and meet the ponies to which he refers.
March 16th, 1943 14:30Prince Rupert, British Columbia“-peat freighters are empty and unarmed. Focus fire on fighters, over.” The radio finished. Rick Mabbs stared across the forests outside of RCAF Station Prince Rupert from his plane. A half dozen martian transports slowly descended to the ground, the crunches of hundreds of trees snapping clearly audible even at ten thousand feet in the air. Along the western coast of the island, nearest the airbase, clouds of dust and smoke flashed into being as a dull thunder of the constant explosions played in the background. “Empty my fucking ass. We need those ships out or the base is surrounded. But bring rockets, they said! You won't need bombs, they said! Didn't expect a fucking armada to pop out of Queen Charlotte, did they?” Rick shook his head and flicked on the radio, “Alright Cedar two, Cedar three, one of those freighters is unloading to the north. Looks like they got big doors in the side of the ship to let 'em out, that gives a nice bottle-neck. You get a clear shot on those openings, you hit 'em with everything you got.”The pilots of the other two Beaufighters voiced the affirmative.“Good. Pointy fuckers and sleds seem to. Alright, we'll hit them north to south. Stay in formation and we'll make it back to Terrace if we're lucky.”Rick flicked off his radio just as Nathan piped up. “Terrace?”“You see that shit, kid? Digby's as good as lost. We're just making sure that there's gonna be a hell of a lot less of them when we come back for it. How's everything looking over on Kaien?”“The aliens landed on the south end a couple minutes ago. Sounds like they're being held up on either end of the town by the militia. Let's hope they didn't bring mountain climbing gear.”“Fan-fucking-tastic. Hang on tight, kid. It's time to make squid pudding.”
Rick wheeled the plane around to face the enormous ships and nosed into a shallow dive. The sights hovered over the door in the side of the ship. Rick hovered his thumb over the trigger. Any moment they would open. Any second-“Rick!” came a shout from the backseat.“Not now, Nathan. Busy.”“Kind of important, sir. We're pulling out and heading for Terrace. The town's being held, but it doesn't look like the air base is gonna hold out for too long.”“What the FUCK?!” Rick flipped on his radio. “Alright boys. If you've got a clear shot it's now or never. We're pulling back to Terrace.”Watching the door finally open, the two other planes swooped low and launched a salvo of rockets at the out-pouring wave of martians. The majority of the missiles struck home, piercing the hull and exploding amongst the packed aliens and sending green debris flying over the tree-tops. Signalling for a retreat, the three Beaufighters banked to the east, flying over the battlefield that Prince Rupert had become.
Dozens of ships had either loaded up on passengers and cast off, or were in the process of doing so. The lines held on either side of the town while anti-air batteries hammered away at something hidden in the forest. Carriers and men on foot with flame throwers torched the woods on the edge of town, trying their best to leave the martians no place to hide. On the south end of the island, martian freighters came and went as they ferried more of their number on to the island. The burning shadows of buildings that were once homes dotted the opposite side of the island. Nathan could only stare down in horror while Rick flew onward.“You alright back there, kiddo?” Rick shouted.“It's,” Nathan swallowed, trying to kick his brain back to life, “it's awful. Everything is just- just ruined!”“ Y'never get used to it,” Rick sighed, “You weren't with us back in the states, but we used to come across towns that had been hit like this. The ones that didn't have anywhere to go. Looked a hell of a lot worse. Trust me.”
The usually quiet Skeena River bore dozens of ships and boats of all kinds heading east to Terrace. The three Beaufighters hummed along over the refugees, keeping a loose V formation. Several quiet minutes passed before Rick's radio crackled to life.“Rick. Problem!” Nathan shouted.“Took 'em long enough. What do we got?” Rick asked.“I got something big on the radar and- Ah shit.” Nathan peered out the back window. “Uh, dreadnought at six o'clock.”“Well, on the bright side,” Rick said, not hiding the strange satisfaction in his voice, “it's kind of flattering that they'd just send the big guns after us and skip the fighters. Alright boys! We got a big sumbitch crawling up our asses. We need that dread gone” The three Beaufighters broke off and wheeled about to face the flying behemoth. The three fighters stared the craft down from a mile away.“Hey, uh, Rick? You really think we can take this thing?” Nathan piped up. “We've only got four rockets left and the others aren't much better off.”“Nathan. See those people down there? We don't hurt this thing and they're all dead. Every single one of them. And we're the only human thing left in the air. Gotta take some risks, kid.”Nathan gulped and nodded. The trio of planes broke out of formation, shrapnel plinking off of their wings and tearing gashes as it went. The dreadnought loomed ahead of them until it filled each of their sights. “Let's hope we leave nice looking corpses now, boys.” Rick spoke into his radio.
>>20027557Well, if you like that story with boats as everyone calls it, here's its pastebin:http://pastebin.com/u/dante41Also, I apologize, my adoring fan(s). I've got no excuse for having nothing tonight. I promise I will next thread, though.
The two Beaufighters on either side of him screamed down either side of the dreadnought, shooting holes in the side of the great flying leviathan in hopes of drawing its attention from the ships below. Rick tore over it, the ten gun terror living up its name as it went. Two rockets were loosed as the plane went over what appeared to be a sort of bridge. Each pilot held their breath waiting for the dreadnought to falter, but its pace remained steady.“Where the fuck are we supposed to shoot it?!” shouted one of the other pilots over the radio.“When in doubt, everywhere.” Rick answered, calm voice belying his terror.The other two Beaus banked high over the enormous beast for their second pass. All the while, the dreadnoughts cannons fired upon them as it stayed the course. A stray shot pierced one of the planes and sent it spiralling into the side of a cliff.“CEDAR TWO IS DOWN, REPEAT CEDAR TWO IS DOWN.” Rick screamed. He could finally feel the futility of the situation, the sheer hopelessness of sending three heavy fighters against a battleship.“They got Doug?!” Nathan yelled from the back.“Sure did, Nathan. Sure FUCKIN' DID. Now we make them pay. Cedar Three, let's show them how the Demons do things!”The pilot of the other remaining Beaufighter replied with a mad cackle and whoop of excitement.
The two planes screamed over the dreadnought, sending a volley of rockets as they went. Several shots from the dreadnought pierced the cockpit, showering Rick with a hail of broken glass that cut and sheered over his face. Rounding on the bow of the ship, the planes came back for a third run. As the Beaufighters spent the last of their rockets, one of the planes slammed into what passed for the deck of the great beast.“Th-they got Mark!” Nathan screamed in horror.“And we're out of rockets. This thing comes down, no matter what. You got that Nathan?!”“Y-Yes, sir!” Nathan replied, shaky but sure.“Alright now we nee-” Rick's eyes widened as he looked down at the flying battleship. The thing was slowly pulling around to face them. “Oh. Fuck. I think we got its attention!”“Rick, I think I've got an idea! It's a long shot, but it's better than any other options we've got.”“Lay it on me, kid. We don't have much time!” Rick shouted back.“Well, we'd have to time it just right, do it really precise, but I think we can get it to hit one of the cliffs.”Rick simply burst out laughing. “Y'know, kid. I've never heard anyone seriously say 'so crazy it just might work' but, damn if this isn't! Let's go take what we're owed, huh?”
The dreadnought finally finished its turn, now facing Rick and coming dangerously close to the mountains. The Beaufighter took a wide, banking turn a mile ahead and prepared for the manoeuvre. “If we go down this thing's left flank, it should hit the mountain if it follows us.” Nathan stated.“Oh boy. Alright, hang on tight now, Nate.” Rick slammed the yoke, sending the plane into a steep dive across the side of the leviathan, firing all guns on it. More flak and masers hit the plane, and Rick felt something gouge his side. Despite this, as the plane tore out of the canyon between the ship and the cliff, they could see the bow closing the gap behind them. The ever-present rain of fire from the dreadnought kept on them, tearing the ragged Beau more and more. Behind, him Rick heard glass shatter and Nathan screaming.“You okay, kid?!” Rick shouted back.“MY EYE! IT'S IN MY FUCKIN' EYE!” Nathan screamed back, still wailing in agony.“Hold on, kid, we're almost done here. We'll get you to a doctor once we're on the ground. Just-just hold on, kid.” Rick slammed his fist on to the yoke.
As the bow of the dreadnought came around again, Rick took the plane down its left flank. Attempting to continue through the turn, Rick watched as, slowly but surely, the stern of the ship collided with the mountain and crumpled under the weight. Taking the plane around, Rick headed for Terrace. Having lost power to the stern, the dreadnought slowly fell on to the mountain side. The ship half-rolled, half-slid the way down, sending an enormous wave across the river and showering the passing boats.What started as a giggle soon grew into a roaring laugh as Rick watched the flying behemoth sink. “We did it, Nathan. We really did it.” Rick's laughter broke off into a loud cough as he felt a pain grow in his side. Pulling up his jacket, Rick noticed a smear of blood forming in his side, dripping into a pool on the floor and mixing with the water dripping from numerous holes in the cockpit. “You still alive back there, kid?” Rick grunted. A sad groan answered him. Rick chuckled and only managed to keep his eyes open long enough to see the town of Terrace growing in the distance.END OF PART 5.
Hardcore.
rolled 3 = 3Archival if you fuck my beloved city I will ruin you.
