Hey /tg/, do we speak of D&D around these parts? If so, does anyone have any funny or interesting D&D stories to tell?Pic is 3.5, but feel free to tell from any edition.
All other games are for hipsters.
>>19854988I wouldn't really say that.
>do we speak of D&D around these parts?
My group plays the MAID RPG, Dr. Who, 3.5 and Call of Cthulu
I've never heard of this D&D before. I guess it says it on that picture, but it's too small to really read. Diggers and Daggers? That doesn't really make sense. Since it's played through books, I guess it's a role playing game. I'm into those. Tell me more about D&D.
What is this "Dee and Dee" you speak off? Are you sure you're in the right board?
I think you might mean ddd in which case you should be on /v/Not sure what you have those books for? Maybe set up manuals?
>>19855131I dunno, it might be some kind novel. Kind of weird though because novels usually aren't as wide as those books. Maybe OP should go to /lit/?
>>19854980I see you've made a typo, and meant ADHD.But no, I don't have any funny stories about this, because it's a serious ailment that ruins lives, dick.
>>19855131>>19855157>>19855162Okay, as funny as it was, you guys know exactly what I was talking about. Dungeons and Dragons, the tabletop role playing game.
>>19855213Tabletop roleplaying? What's that?
>>19855213Sage for bring fetish material on a blue board.Keep your furry "dragons" and latex "dungeons" out of /tg/This is a place for traditional games, like jacks.Jacks is the shit.
Come on guys, be serious.
Lemme tell you a little story. A story about a head named Vecna.http://www.blindpanic.com/humor/vecna.htm
>>19855306We're completely serious, stop trying to troll /tg/ OP. I have no idea what this game you're assuming we know is, but let's talk about stuff actually /tg/ related.>>19855261Fuck yeah, Jacks is amazing. Anyone have any strategies they want to share? I love the game, but when it comes to competitive play I am terrible.
>>19855259No doubt a lewd act that involves dancers on a table, it belongs in /d/My friend Gertrude told me all about these deviants. Ones who show their stomachs in public! The harlots.
>>19855347I'm trolling nothing. You're shitting up my Dungeons and Dragons thread with jacks talk.
>>19855364On the contrary, I think you're shitting up our Jacks thread with this perverted fetish talk you keep trying to bring up.
3.5 is the base system in my head for comparison. Also, I feel that it had the best artwork of the editions.
>>19855364Are you not familiar with our Hoop and Stick generals? We are entirely serious about all forms of traditional games.Speaking of, I'm thinking of investing in a cedar set- which is more important, the stick or the hoop?
>>19855074Diggers and Daggers? Minecraft campaign setting.
>>19855420The stick is definitely more important, I've been able to play a mean game of Hoop and Stick with a shitty hoop but an amazing stick.
>>19855420>which is more important, the stick or the hoop?You best be trolling. You need a balanced hoop to be worth a damn.
>>19855434Can we get a Kick the Can FAQ in here?
As funny as you guys are, can we get back to the topic, which is funny or interesting stories from campaigns you have run or played in?
>>19855461Okay fine, I've been seeing so many fucking requests for this I may as well do it so people stop asking.>What is Kick the Can?Kick the Can is a wordwide acclaimed traditional game in which a person or group of people kick a can until the game ends. Despite it's appearance, the game is actually quite complex and there are many strategies to the game.>What do I need to play?Technically you just need any kind of can, but if you really want the best experience you need to go out and buy a can designed specifically for the game. They'll set you back about 30$ but it's worth it. You'll also need KTC footwear to play, but don't try to play with any steel-toed boots as it's generally frowned upon and considered poor sportsmanship.>Tips on playing.Generally there are two ways to kick the can. The first being to kick it with the toe of your foot resulting in more distance at the cost of less accuracy. The second being like you would kick a soccer ball, resulting in better control but having somewhat less power than the latter method. Most towns and cities have a KTC club, so it's very easy to get started. So just go out an play with your local group, and hopefully you'll have fun.
>>19855420>which is more important, the stick or the hoop?Now see, this where beginners and even some advanced Hoop 'N' Stick players get messed up. You can have a good hoop, or a good stick, but without a hoop and stick that work well TOGETHER, you'll never get anywhere.
>>19855523Alright guys, he's right.Let's forget this silly Hoop and Stick talk, and get back to the subject at hand. Jacks.
Has anyone played the game 'Beating a dead horse'?
>>19855523dont be a prick OP you have a goldmine on your hands. Which reminds me of the time I played Army Men.My green team HQ was about to be overrun by Grey's Elite muck crawlers. My troops couldnt shoot them because of the crawl bonus of +4 on defensive checks. At the start of my next turn I premeasured and guess what? My mortar men could launch 5 rounds right into the middle of Greys HQ. Game, set, match.
>>19855573No.Everyone not ready to tell a Dungeon and Dragon related story, please go.
>>19855225Fuck you asshole. Its late, I have work tomorrow and now I'm fucking hungry. Motherfucking fuck you.
>>19855573Jacks is the cancer killing /tg/. There are too many threads, it's far too easily trolled, and all the players are shitposters. There are not enough threads about this wonderful game, Hoop and stick.
Check out this jacks set, love the metal jacks which is somewhat uncommon these days. Most jacks are made out of cheap little pieces of plastic, for me they always fucking break after a few rigorous games.
>>19855590fucking grey's. its always "that guy" that plays them. It wouldnt be so bad if the lore wasnt so mary sue.
>>19855549>>19855549This man knows what he's talkkng about. But I'll interject in saying that a good ol'e fashioned coffee can works for me just fine. It's a great place to start for beginners. Plus you have all that energy from caffeine to kick the can.
>>19855591Op... that is a delicious scent you're wearing. Might I ask the name of it?
>>19855588I'm waiting for the next edition to come out, kicking is pretty much superior to every form of beating.
>>19855647I prefer soup cans myself. Can't beat the classics.
>>19855635Ever since the Army Men team hired Ward its been nothing but Grey Fluff. When is blue going to get a new codex? And Brown? Hasnt been an updated model in years
>>19855658They keep pushing back the BaDH release date though. I think I'll roll a "bat user" but I'm not sure yet
>>19855658Have you seen the playtest of 7e? Punching is so overpowered it's ridiculous, and beating is even worse than last time. With the direction it's taking I can only see it being a colossal failure.
>>19855677Oh no, here we go again. I can't believe you blue players, bitching about updates! I'm an Indian! Where the are my updates huh? Been years since they retconned the best parts of my army, if you can even call it that.
>>19855649It's called fuck you write greentext story time.
>>19855713Indians were frankly doomed to be left behind once the cowboy army lost any real player interest. Besides, they don't even fit in the new lore for the current edition.
So i keep experimenting when the best time to sit during Freeze tag is. About 5 feet way has been giving off some great results and really pisses off the tagger but I think i could go for 4 feetDo you guys have any ideas?
>>19855713Fucking Indian players. I remember when your Buffalo Stampede would just fuck over everything and everyone.
>>19855736It was beatable if your paratroopers came in right after.
>>19855754But seriously, waiting that long for the paratroopers? It saved you, yeah, but only after the slim chance you were still alive.
>>19855754It was too specific of a win condition. Who wants to bring paratroopers on the offchance of buffalo s. I would much rather bring two squads of flamers
>>19855734Tournament rules say 5 to 6 feet, to help balance.So you're not being very sporting to your friends, but I'm sure it's not intentional.
>>19855788We just play casual, it's sooo funny when someone is about to tag and then someone sits everyone laughs even the tagger. We do make sure no one is the tagger twice in a row though, because sometimes the game will go on for too long
>>19855784Remember 2nd edition flame throwers? 13" range. what a fucking nightmare.
>>19855714Ok fine damnit, greentext story it is>Got together to play with some friends>My friend is kind of a "that guy">Says, hey I forgot my stick anybody bring a spare?>Have to go back to care and get him my spare stick>Hogs the hoop the whole time>Fucking cheetos dust all over my stick when I get it backWhat a dick.
>>19855817Try playing in an alley between two buildings, the confined spaces make for an added challenge for the runners. It really helps to get the adrenaline pumping.
>>19855850Back to the car, even.
>>19855732It would have worked! They could have given my guys advanced guerrilla tactics, like an army of assassins. Now that would be awesome.>>19855736The good old days when you could still see someone playing aliens. Does anyone even remember those?
>>19855856Holly shit there is one right outside my buddies house. Well shit i know what i am suggestion this weekend. Thank you kind Anon
I remember this one time we had just finished up a game of Army Men. This kid comes up and asks if he can see the binoculars guy. Told the kid to fuck off. Kid proceeded to smash my whole fucking tan army. Can you believe that? all 4000 points of it. Needless to say he was kicked out and banned.
>>19855714If you insist OP>Playing Kick the Can with three friends>One of my friends who is new to the game.>Kicks the can too far.>Goes over a nearby fence into someones backyard.>Can't get into the backyard, every way in is locked.>Can't get the custom made can back, lost about a 100$ can right there.
>>19855850>Fucking cheetos dust all over my stick when I get it backI once got my stick back, and I don't even know WHAT was on it. Some sort of yellow ooze that solidified, and godammn it ruined this great, custom made $85 stick I had. Never saw that motherfucker again, would have beat the shit outta him.
>>19855887a tan binoculars guy?? shit those are OOP. You must have had an original tan army.
>>19855822Yet every time I'd see flamers, I'd laugh. Do you know how much damage soak a horde of buffalo has? A decent one and I can demolish all of your defense, with limited cavalry losses.
>>19855850Oh, I have one.>playing jacks with That Guy>his turn>bounces ball>sweeps jacks out of the circle>out of fucking bounds>says they still count because his hand touched themThe asshole even got a scratch on my lucky rubber ball. I had to use epoxy to mend it, but it's still not the same.
>>19855900What a nightmare. That's why my loaner stick is at least a cheap one. Just pine, instead of mahogany like my good one.
>>19855909I bet he cast them. I would have.
>>19855915Dude, that's against regulation. Do you know how bad it is in a tourny if they catch you with a 'loaded' ball?
>>19855909Oh fuck I love Binocular Units. I have about four of them in my army since I used to play a shit-ton of Army Men when I was a kid, saved them when they were still cheap and not used often. Now I can give my troops a +3 to attacks if they can spot an enemy troop in time.
>>19855945Sad but true. You have to make him buy you a new one, if he fucked it up that bad.
>>19855950>not taking the superior radio man unit>not calling in precise air strikes and mortarsfucking radio man and mortar team were the best
>>19855983Fucking mortars had a 2 foot range. 2 fucking feet, tell me that wasnt overpowered. You were one of "those" players.
>>19855983Mah NiggaI was quite particular to the mortar teams, but the guy I was playing with pointed his guys at them and said "pew pew pew"Shit sucked but what could I do, that meant they were dead.
>>19855950I hear there's a site you can get bits from that will let you convert your riflemen into binocular guys. I think you'll have to look them up as 'Farsighted champions'
>>19856002Thank Ward for the "pew pew pew" rule in 4th edition.It ruined the game.
>>19855966yeah right, then he just passes you a hardened lump of epoxy.
>>19856002Not if you defended them with your hand it doesn't. Seriously, it's in the rules.
>>19856002Did you at least try to invoke the 'nuh-uh they have forcefields so you can't hit them' rule?
>>19856047Nah but I did save two 'cause the "well they see their buddies die and take cover" clause after the fourth paragraph on page 48
How come nobody ever brings up Green team?They had the best snipers, and they blended into the grass for a +5 hide bonus. If you played on a hill map you could seriously fuck some shit up
>>19856030Yeah that's exactly what happened.Said "it's just as good."He was one of those guys that brought white milk to drink, and not chocolate. Just creepy.
>>19856047I think my hand rule works a lot more efficiently.
>>19856068I'll have to use that next time, I was too busy moving my flamethrower guy behind a potted plant to get over in time
>>19856062Unless you ply on a desert field, which I always do. My yellow raaaaaaaep
>>19856068Well, yeah, Hand Blocking is better, but Forcefields You Didn't Know About is a good last chance for the most valuable units.>>19856062>Green team
>>19856062I remember one game I was packing up my green army and forgot about some snipers on the hill terrain. Came back in 10 minutes later and some cheeky fucker had taken them.
I took the liberty ofhttp://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/19854980/How to update it?
>>19856095fucking tan. I enjoyed their older models better.
>>19856086but dude, remember Napoleon and Rome, spreading your forces thin is suicide in game.pic related for the hoop stick players. Not really my thing but, damn that's a nice hoop.
>>19856115remember their bazooka unit? Thing looked sick as fuck. And the dudes expression, that really grim determination like... "Im gonna hit you this time!"
>>19856143Man they couldn't hit shit though, but if they did... plastic carnage.
>>19856131True, but it was mostly so the dog wouldn't eat him.Also, damn that's a nice hoop.
>>19856168well they had to make up for such a large blast radius. Couldnt be too accurate ya know
Did anybody ever figure out if it was point cost effective to field a tank army? I know blue got a cost reduction in tank cost but is it really worth it to field so few units?
My game Labyrinth is so much better, it's the only game I ever play. I bet you've never even heard of it.
>>19856186Yea man it was great.>I throw some grenades under the tank it blows up>Nu-uh it speeds up and crushes your dudes>Oh what that's not fair>yes it is they're super fast tanksShit was so op
>>19856186Nah, some mortars or a lucky bazooka would wreck you. and lacking troop choices means you can;t take objectives.
>>19856211Is that the one where you hide under the sheets and try to find your way out? Or is that cave explorer
>>19856218Oh good point I never used mine against a bazooka heavy army. The guy I played liked to use snipers and they didn't do shit against the tanks.
>>19856257was it a green team?>green
>>19856257Yeah, Snipers aren't the best choice. But this one asshole always played blue and put his guys in the water and drew little masks on them and called them scuba snipers. Fucking dickhead.l
>>19856278yea it was a >green teambut we were playing on the rug so he couldn't hide as well. He had some of his guys on a couch though, I had a hard time taking them out.
>>19856298If somebody tried to pull that shit on me I'd piss in the water and tell him my guys filled it with toxic chemicals. Fuck you, scubasnipers.
>>19856298fuck what an awesome conversion. Let me guess if you tried to shoot him he would say they go underwater. If I know im playing on a map with water I will usually buy a boat with depth charges
>>19856318you can buy boats in the new edition? fuck I knew I shouldnt have quit AM. I love sea battles.
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=army+menThat's us at the bottom there.
>>19856318>maps with waterWhy would anybody do this? It slows the game down, has unnecessarily complicated rules, and is generally unfun to play.
y'all are fagsEveryone knows DODGEBALL is the best.
>>19856345The new rules are pretty sweet you can field boats at the same cost of tanks.
>>19856318yeah, but he would place them in my deployment zone and force me to do an amphibious landing. it was D DAY but with snipers killing my men from being and in front. looked like this his snpers are the circles.
>>19856400Fucking tan players. Im pretty sure all the veterans of this hobby end up as tan.
>>19856400Shit, the best way to counter that would be the "yea well my tanks can go underwater, they're also submarines" gambit, I think.
>>19856430Shit man, Thats ingenious. I forgot the Tanks count as submarines rule. He is gunna have a mean surprise!
Every one playing tan or blue.that feel when you show up with an outdated cowboy army, and nobody will play you
>>19856430I'd probably go with the 'my guys are super pumped for this fight' perk instead. It would give him the strong start he needs.
>>19856442Yea it doesn't come up a lot, due to the aforementioned lack of water, but if you remember it it can be a lifesaver. Just be careful, it can lead to the "my tanks have jet engines and wings" rule being invoked and as any veteran player can tell you, that is quite a shitstorm to deal with.
>>19856465yeah. All our indian players quit once they discontinued the Cowboys series. Tanks always beat buffalo.
>>19856465There's a reason they haven't been updated, man. Just toss them and get a red army, they're similar enough.
>Eberron Campaign, 3.5 >I was playing an Aerenal Elf Wizard/Cleric, alongside a Pyrokineticist Soulknife, a druid that favored giant bear-form, and a half-dragon minotaur that looked like the son of Satan.In haunted castle, investigating where-abouts of villain.>Exit dark room, large-sized undead villain attacks from behind, attempting to choke out the half-dragon minotaur barbarian from hell.>Big mistake. >Choking doesn't do shit to the minotaur, with a Strength of 32. Flexes neck and bad guy falls off. >Druid turns into Dire Bear, proceed to grapple the undead. >Pyrokineticist starts his body on fire, grapples as well, squeezing the undead's legs.>Horned demon bullman from Hades pivots on the spot, screams "BOSTON BEAT DOWWWWWWNNNNNNN!!!!!" and starts bashing his face against the undeads until it turns to dust. >My Str 10 Elf just took out his pipe and smoked a bowl of tobacco out a window as the whole thing went down.>To this day, we have not had an ass-kicking as effective as the "Boston Beat Down."
>2012>still playing cowboyscome on dude at least grab some blues
>>19856482just convert them. My buddy made a new aliens army out of them by squeezing the headds
>>19856533I think you have the wrong thread, maybe go to /v/? This sounds like some kind of video game to me.
>>19856540Oh that could work. I've never played against aliens before, any good?
>>19856533the fuck are you talking about?
>>19856533Are you lost? This is an army men, Jacks, and Hoopstick thread, friend. If you partake in any of these find games, please, do join us!
>>19856551yeah. Almost as overpowered as Grey. Ward did a number on them. They have a special ability called comet that lets your opponent drop rocks on your army.
>>19856587Oh man, that's why my friend had to buy a new army after the tournament I bet. He was mumbling something about "heat ray magnifying glasses from space" too.
>>19856605that is the worst. the guy I played against brought a telescope. Super deathrays are OP if you don't have alot of infantry
>>19856622Ouch, that sounds bad even to me, and I play Greys.
>>19856639At least greys just win. Aliens cost you money.
>>19856660I haven't felt that OP yet, I use too many tanks I guess. I only have a squad or two to back them up at the moment.
>>19856349fuck you buddy ill take hot lava over doucheball any day.>nimble as shit master race here
Poorfag here, anyone know where I can get a decent number of tans on the cheap?
Well, I've told the story of how my Warlord invented, essentially, dwarven orbital drop shock troopers, if anyone's interested.
>see this threadNo D&D storytime is complete without STORYTIEM's epic.http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/14188616/(link to the finale, which contains links to the other chapters)Highlights:>played Blood Bowl by ripping goblin's heads off and throwing them like footballs>rap battle against a Dwarven 'Pimp-King'>Frank, the Fiendish Centipede>Casting "Halt" on the final boss>Impersonating every NPC>spelljammers>THE FIST
>>19857627Do you know when STORYTIEM is going to finish his latest tale? I've been checking https://sites.google.com/site/goblinhaters/home relatively frequently, but it hasn't updated.
>>19857665You ain't gonna like this answer, but from what I understand, their group (I don't play with them, no one lives near my city anymore) is having a lot of issues and they're actually taking a hiatus to play another campaign. STORY doesn't seem optimistic about their game continuing...feelsbadman. One side note is I did guest on their first session and played a not-Arabic alchemist/oracle guy, but I stayed on the island while they went off on adventures.
>My new squad for Green
>>19857759Derp, forgot pic
>>19856533This is what I wanted.Fucking dicks, derailing my thread.
>>19858096Hey! You were the one trying to give us some furry bondage nonsense, not us.
>>19858125Scaly actually. On account of dragons.
>>19858125You know exactly what I was talking about, but chose to ignore it and talk about fucking kicking cans and being gay.I just wanted to read some greentext stories, but noooo.
>>19858135You wanted greetnext stories on dragon bondage? You sick bastard you, get out of /gt/!
>>19858135Oh too true, kicking cans is for faggots.Jacks on the other hand, is a game only played by REAL MEN.
>>19858135>make a stupid comment in OP>get mad when people have fun with itStop being entitled.
>>19858135OP your the worst OP.
You really know nothing about fun, do your op?I would not play on your group and I will not share any stories with you.now, back to jacks...
Hoop you say?
>2012>Not playing CalvinballFucking casuals.