>>19647104
Get our stuff together, we should probably do a good interrogation of Emi.

See if she is a freelancer, whether she did this for kicks, how long she'd been a magical girl, who recruited her. That sort of thing. It'll also be a good chance for us to work out our frustrations.

>>19647178
Addendum, get our stuff together, we'll do the interrogation later if we get a chance. First we get our gun, hold it behind our back, see who it is through the door, and then decide whether to let them in or not.

Post pics on /k/ of my Gold Deagle.

That has clips, not magazines.

600 replies later archive the thread.

>baseball bat boy

Is it the episode with Maxwell's Demon?

Put the gun behind our backs and see who's at the door.

With all this alcohol around, it'd be easy to stick a rag in a bottle for an impromptu firebomb.

We should keep one on us.

[x]open the door a crack and see who it is

We should drill a peephole.

>>19647242

>We should keep one on us.

I would venture to support the idea that we should carry a flask for all those situations where we really need something to get through the evening while we're away.

[X] Gather our things and meet our visitor.

File: 1340799094646.jpg-(70 KB, 813x668, Kyubey.jpg)

>>19647178
>>19647193

You glance at the door, and then at the gaudy, blocky firearm sitting on your side table - and it's then that you murmur a curse underneath your breath as you lever yourself off of your very comfortable and very expensive-looking green chair. You're not one for furniture, but after the debacle at the Hotel Suite, you thought you'd take a little souvenir, something to remember that particular assignment by.

It took a while to get the huge chair into your inventory, but it was worth it. Really, really worth it.

You drain your glass of whisky, before placing it back onto the side table to pick up the gun Pinky had been kind enough to give you. You wipe your lips with the back of your other hand as you make your way toward the door, your bare feet making no noise on the unadorned, cold tile floor.

It's worth noting here that you've actually taken a shower right after that assignment. You didn't transform right after, of course, so you're not really decent right now. Just a sports bra and your usual panties.

You flip up the peephole lid and peer through the small lens.

There's no one there.

"Down here," a voice speaks unbidden in your mind.

You squint downwards, and see a familiar white mutant cat with startlingly-bright crimson eyes, fastidiously licking the back of its paw.

Well. It seems that it's time for your debriefing.

You kind of skipped that.

What do you do?

>>19647292
Let the fucker in. Open the door, pick him up by the tail, take him inside and idly smack him against any available surface while we debrief.

>>19647292
Open up, let him in.

"Sorry I missed the debriefing. I was too busy being passed-out-drunk."

>>19647310

And then sit back down in our luxurious new chair before popping a painkiller, just because there's bound to be a catch to Kyubey's visit and we're going to need it.

>>19647292
For one who haven't followed this quest from the start:
>You didn't transform right after
Transform into what and from what?

>>19647367
Transform into our standard magical girl uniform from clothing which currently consists solely of underwear.

>>19647367

From our post-shower indecency into our magical girl costume.

Open the door shoot him a few times then get back to our whiskey

>>19647292
Let him go in, and go take a bit of butter with our bare fingers. See if he'll lick it off.

>>19647409

NEVER. We do not offer that abomination anything.
Just gruffly say: Watdyawant? If he starts to get annoying shoot him.

>>19647104
We worry about germs? I thought that would be a bit out of sorts for us

Plus semi lich and all

>>19647104

> golden Desert Eagle
> what.

Fuck. Immediately find another golden Desert Eagle and dual-wield them.

Also: Extended mags.
Also: Crate of Mosin Nagants. Never enough Mosin Nagants.

rolled 93 = 93

>>19647306

This.

>>19647472
Not gonna be that easy I think
Given that one came from the undead apparition of a magical girl

>>19647495
Really it was more of an undead hallucination ghost.

A pink one.

We're not crazy.

>>19647501
Nah because that bitch we turned into Emi saw her as well so it isn't just us

Hm, did we get our payment (2 grief seeds) yet? I think we should restrain from mutant cat bashing till we have been payed.

>>19647520
Good point
We can get our grief seeds then toss the fucker into moving traffic

>>19647495

So I see that it's time for a Crate of Moist Nuggets, eternal firearm of the broke.

>>19647333
>>19647310

You lower the lid of the peephole, before undoing the three locks that kept your door secure enough from being broken into: two deadbolts, one at the top, one at the bottom, and a chain lock near the doorknob. You pull the door open just a little bit, enough to let the white furry creature pass through - and as he does so, you contemplate suddenly kicking the door shut, crushing your employer between door and door jamb.

It's a delightfully puerile thought, and one you don't go through as the Incubator finally manages to squeeze his way into your sparsely-decorated apartment.

If you count crates of stolen alcohol and explosives laying about as sparse, of course. Oh, and don't forget that strange heavy rifle with the chainsaw bayonet stashed near your umbrella stand.

"As usual, you never fail to impress upon me how little you care about your own comfort or that of your guest's, Matsuda." Kyuubey says, glancing at the television, where Baseball Bat Boy seems to be in a heated debate with Bicycle Helmet Girl about cooties. You shut the door behind him, engage the locks once more, and make a beeline back to your new chair, dropping down onto it with a whumpf. "I'd ask you why you didn't go directly to HQ for your debriefing, but I suppose I could guess why."

You say nothing, pouring yourself another finger or two of whisky.

"...Right. Your debriefing, then. Let's hear your version of what actually happened."

How do you recount the previous events?

>>19647533
We probably have some stored in our magical hammer space already

>>19647535
Security team useless
Principal nearly raped
Magical girl present
I blew her legs off
Killed otaku's
Where's my money

>>19647104

Aaaand here's the archive.

>>19647292
Let him in.
[sarcasm] You didn't have to come all the way, I was just about to do my report.

>>19647104
>>19647569

Fuck, me, didn't link.

Aaaand here's the archive.
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Magical%20Girl%20Noir%20Quest

>>19647559

Add: The otaku were the security.

>>19647535
Went to the hotel, convinced the security to shape up.

Was in the room with the principal when what at the time seemed to be her friend showed up.

Did pat down, clear of weapons, nothing seemed overly strange.

Sat by bed as they went to sleep. Strangeness occured, stuck in dreamlike state, her "friend" was with me, said that goons were raping principal.

Broke out of dream through sheer grit, killed rapists, one of whom was the head of security, before anything major happened, blew off the legs of the magical girl, whose name was revealed to be Midori. I'll get more information on the assailants after interrogation.

Comforted principal, called Mami, stayed there at principal's request for some time.

Returned home, drank like a fish, didn't bother seeing you.

Where's my payment?

>>19647594
I like this one. Go with it.

Where is my payment first? I did your damn job and haven't kept your end of the deal yet.

>>19647594

Seconding this.

>>19647559
>>19647582
This, best be as vauge as possible.

Did we give Iori our number?

>>19647594
>>19647559

You give him the truncated version of events, like you always do in debriefings. The little bastard doesn't really need to do this, of course - knowing him and his connections, he probably had everything on videotape. This is just him checking to see if anything is amiss about you - or at least that's what you think.

You avoid mentioning Pinky. He doesn't need to know. No one needs to know.

"That sounds about right, yes." The Incubator says after you finish, once more licking the back of its paw and then wiping it all over its face in that way cats usually do. "As it turns out, the leader of Minase Iori's security detail was a member of the same group that raped Takatsuki Yayoi. The rest of the security detail were innocent, but they were gunned down in a protracted firefight."

The white mutant cat pauses for a bit to glance at the golden Desert Eagle you've placed back on your side table before continuing. "As... as for the Magical Girl, we've stabilized her for now in the Silent Room, but since her Soul Gem is in your custody, she's just a warm body for now. Should you choose to interrogate her, try and find out who she's working for. Someone like her may be in the same situation as you, which means there's another incubator lurking about."

>>19647712
Let's take the Incubator's suggestion and interrogate her.

>>19647712
Payment first, then go interrogate her.

>>19647712
So she isn't one of yours, I suppose that's one question answered.

Now where is my payment?

>>19647712

You sip at your drink, glowering at the television. He likes hearing himself talk.

"...I think a stern lecture here about not falling so easily to magical traps is in order here, but since your client is strangely satisfied with your performance, I've decided to forgo that." It places a forepaw on the floor before it, forming a shadow on the bare white tile - and from that shadow, two grief seeds pop out, rolling on the floor momentarily before balancing themselves on their spines. "Your payment, as agreed upon. Your salary has been wired to your own account, and I do hope you remember how to access it."

It seems to hesitate at first, before letting out a sigh. "Try to do better next time. In any case, you have two assignments lined up. Since they're priority, pick one, and Kyoko will take the other."

You're not really listening right now. You're busy strangely thinking about a brown-haired idol with crimson eyes.

You drain your glass, and pour yourself another, as the Incubator starts to babble.

[]Ask about the assignments.
[]Ask about how Iori's doing.

>>19647712
>which means there's another incubator lurking about.

Do I sense... territorial dispute ?

>>19647712
"What, I thought you little mutants were supposed to be working together. Are we going to be dealing with the Magical Girls of a rogue incubator, then?"

Now, get our payment of two Grief Seeds.

Also, we exchanged phone numbers with Iori, right?

[X]Ask about how Iori's doing.

>>19647730
[x]Ask about the assignments.

We'll call up Iori later to ask how she's doing, or ask Mami. No need to let the little freak know that we might actually care about someone, and use it against us.

>>19647730
>[X]Ask about how Iori's doing.

>>19647730
First this []Ask about the assignments.
Then ask about how Iori's doing.

And before he leaves, chop of his tail. Just because

>>19647738
yes we did

[x]Ask about the assignments

>>19647730
[X]Ask about the assignments.

We can find how Iori is doing through calling her ourself or talking to Mami. Letting this miserable fuck know that we still have vague hints of emotion will do us no good and simply reveal a lever for him to use, a weak point to capitalize on.

>>19647738

Add: "If you find the other... I am always game for shooting mutant cats."

If we have ioris number we dont need to ask kyubee and can go to the assignements. If not, we ask him about her. Reluctantly.

>>19647769
He's right. He's awfully right.

>>19647730

[X]Ask about the assignments.

we can call Mami if we really want to know how Iori is doing.

[X]Ask about the assignments.

The idol is probably on her way to America anyway.

File: 1340804200065.png-(112 KB, 301x222, bestfemalegundampilot.png)

Just the best magical girl Gundam pilot passing through.

Ask about the assignments
Then think of a way to make this fuck leave in multiple pieces

File: 1340805326682.gif-(80 KB, 1114x855, kyuubey2.gif)

>>19647769
>>19647762
>>19647750

Kyuubey nods, seemingly impressed at how professionally you seem to be asking. No back talk, no sass, just going right to the point.

It clears its throat before continuing.

"Alright. The first one comes from one of our older customer. He's paid upfront for a hit on the Inagawa-kai Yakuza's overboss, Shinobu Tsukasa." Kyuubey pauses for a moment. "We don't usually take contracts out for Yakuza members, especially for high-ranking ones, but I'm considering it a part of our social service policy."

You smirk at this as you chase a couple of painkillers with a gulp of whisky, letting the bitter taste of the medication blossom on your tongue before drowning them in the heat of the alcohol.

"The second is a retirement one. Kirika Kure's...she's killed both of her principals in two assignments already. I believe it's time we end her relationship with our firm."

Retirement. Decommission. A pretty way of saying that the pressure's finally gotten to you, and you need to be dealt with cleanly, before you make the firm lose more revenue.

"One grief seed for the first assignment, and a bonus to your salary for the second. You can keep any salvage you get from Kirika, too. As always, you get your detailed dossier about the assignment you pick in a day or so."

Bastard little asshole cat.

[]Pick the first assignment.
[]Pick the second assignment.

>>19647824
And why would you do that ?

We have already killed an incubator last time. There is a line between "I don't like you" and "I'm dangerous to you", and killing a QB twice in a row when he only want to brief and debrief you is dangerously close of being seen as a dangerous psychopath.

That's what we are. That's what QB think about us. But if we keep pushing him, it is possible he would want to do something about us.

I don't like QB, I distrust QB, but I don't want him actively trying to kill us.

>>19647870
[X]Pick the second assignment.

We've got two grief seeds. We can afford to forego getting one for a bit. This would also be a chance to salvage something should we kill the rogue Magical Girl.

>>19647870
Second

>>19647881
He has hundreds of bodies, we just take advantage of that fact to show our displeasure at having to put up with him

[X]Pick the second assignment.

>>19647881
I said think not do
it's like our way of putting up with him when we can't kill him

>>19647870
[X] Pick the second assignment.

I happen to like salvage, extra money is nice and we just got two Grief Seeds.

After that I don't think there is any more reason for him to stay, so pick him up by the tail, open the door and unceremoniously toss him out.

Then we'll call up Iori to check up on her.

>>19647870

[X] Pick the second assignment.

Tilt our glass back and drain it. Killing Yakuza would just be a foregone conclusion, but Kyoko's the type who would love the fight for what it was. Meanwhile, we'll take down the girl and get the better deal for it. And not least because in some way, she reminds us of what we might end up as if we slide a little too far out... Putting an end to that ourselves might help remind us where the boundary is.

But Kyubey doesn't need to catch on to that.

>>19647870
Second.

>>19647898
He has hundreds of bodies, yes, but we already have killed one last time we've seen him. There is times when a joke get old, and if we keep killing QB systematically without reasons, it's possible we'll finish like Kirika Kure.

"Retired".

>>19647870
Second Assignment

Extra bonus is always a good thing.
And escort QB out of the room by the tail, through the window.

>>19647925
I thought QB didn't give any fucks about his body. He's the practical type. He wont give 2 flying fucks if youre a psycho lesbo bitch with an extra arm, so long as you give him want he wants and does not reduce what he has.

Killing his near infinite bodies does neither. In fact, I remember that he is amused by the fact that we keep doing it despite its redundancy

Second one.

Take the second.

Call up Iori at some point, make sue there's no permanent damage

>>19647898
>>19647886

"The second assignment? Very well. I'll have Sakura Kyoko take the first one. You'll get your dossier via secured courier by noon tomorrow." Kyuubey nods again, his crimson eyes staring up at you intently. "To be honest, I was expecting you to pick the Yakuza one, but then again, there's bad blood between you and Kure, isn't there?"

You drain your glass of its remaining amber liquid and refill it just as quickly. Bad blood wouldn't be the term you'd use to describe your association with Kirika Kure - it was closer, really, to all-out antagonistic. You hated each other, not even in that rival kind of way where you respected each other's professionalism grudgingly. You just didn't like her, she didn't like you, and more than once it almost came to both of you trying to kill each other. Kyuubey had always done the smart thing to never pair you up in a difficult assignment, because nothing would ever get done.

You knew she was sort of...crazy, but she was the best close-combat specialist in the firm. Not even Kyoko or Sayaka could ever hope to come close to Kure in a fair fight, and it usually never was.

You idly wonder, then, who would be sent to retire you when the day comes.

"Do you have any other questions, Matsuda? If not, I have other things to do. Places to go, people to see, and another Magical Girl to recruit - seeing as a slot will be opening up soon."

It seems Kyuubey is all too ready to leave.

What do you do?

>>19648032
She goes in for the kick....

IT'S GOOD!

>>19648032
Who are you planning on recruiting?

Deleted my post.

>>19648054
This.

>>19648032
Take QB by the tail
SPIN 'ER UP
Then release him straight out of the window.
Or
Get Blender
Juice him

Then get to reading this Kure's dossier. And get a long range high damage gun. 50 cal maybe. we are not suited for CQC.

>>19648064
We get the dossier in a day or two.

I'm cool with launching him out a window or booting him out the door, but I want to know who he is going after next.

>>19648064
>not suited for CQC
>can stop time

Also
>read Kure's dossier
>it's yet to be delivered

>>19648032
>>19648032
>>19648032
>>19648032
SHIT
QB is going for the Idol

>>19648081
Please explain your reasoning.

>>19648054

i'll support this since it could lead to ALL KINDS of fucked up situations, better get some of it now rather than later.

>>19648088
Bad shit has happened to her and her friend. Girl's at a low point in her life and probably wants to stop being a victim at this point. All she has to do is make a wish...

>>19648073
>>19648071
Sorry did not read that through.
But even if we can stop time, it would be better if we take her out in a distance, or at least weaken her.

>>19648081
The idol would be susceptible to the tempting wish deal of QB now that she has been shaken .

>>19648054
Seconded
Call Iori after he leaves

>>19648073
Kirika is extremely dangerous in CQC, our Time Stop may not be perfect due to our shield being slightly broken and wonky and using it means seeing Pinky. In addition the girl can slow her enemies down which may make our time stop less effective.

She is purely melee focused even though we might be able to pull off a close range kill it is an unnecessary risk when we can put a .50 BMG round through her skull from half a mile away.

>>19648054
This and call Iori. Tell her to kill any demented cat mutants that come near her.

>>19648032
Call Iori, then check your arsenal.

>>19648073
Except there is certain pink haired psycho hiding in our time-stop. That could make matters a bit complicated.

>>19648032
Which unlucky girl are you planning on turning into a Magical Girl?

>>19648032
Who's life are you going to destroy this time?

Then
>>19648050
When he starts talking

>>19648114
>>19648071
>>19648054

You sit up from your reclined position, turning towards Kyuubey. This new recruit...it can't possibly be someone you're familiar with, right? No one with a future deserves to be reduced to something like you.

You ask the question, trying very hard not to sound like you care.

"I've a few prospects, but nothing final as of the moment. There's one very potential candidate I'm interested in, however, as she's got quite the gift for it." The incubator tilts its head slightly to side. "Why the sudden curiosity? Either way, you'll know about who she is in the next all hands meeting anyway, right?"

Typical answer from the little creep. Vague as hell and laden with innocence, trying to make you feel stupid for even asking it even WHEN it should be asked.

"If there's nothing else, then I'll go ahead and leave you to your...activities. Whatever they are." The white-furred creature scampers across the room, hopping up onto a windowsill. "And for goodness' sake, Matsuda, try and clean up your apartment. It's supposed to be a living space, not an armory.

File: 1340809198722.jpg-(574 KB, 710x1000, ioriglad.jpg)

>>19648247

You make to stand up and grab him by the tail, frowning at that last comment - but unfortunately he's gone before you could even pull yourself away from your chair's comfy, comfy grasp. Just as well, making another kickball out of the little bastard probably wasn't worth getting up anyway.

Man, you really like this chair. This chair, it's the best. It really is.

You spend a moment of leaning back and closing your eyes to the sound of Baseball Bat Boy cracking a criminal's face open with the butt of his bat, before you reach out to take your cellphone from your side table, nearly knocking over the glass containing Midori's Soul Gem over. Flipping it open, you search your contacts list for a certain idol's number and call it.

It takes her three rings before she picks up. And when she does, her voice sounds a bit...breathy? As if she's nervous about something.

"Y-yes? This is Minase Iori. Is...is this Chiaki -san?"

Strange, but she seems to be sounding alright.

[]Ask her how she's doing.
[]Ask her what she's wearing.

>>19648255
[X]Ask her how she's doing.

Also tell her that if a strange white cat thing offers her anything to refuse, no matter what it offers, no matter how badly you want it to decline. Tell it to go to hell.

>>19648255

[x] Ask her how she's doing.

Nervousness can't be good.

[]Ask her how she's doing.
No need to be creepy

>>19648267
And try not to sound too drunk when we give the warning.

>>19648255
Maybe it's not the chair that is comfy. Mabye it is our ass that is.

>[]Ask her how she's doing.
>[]Ask her what she's wearing.
I'm tempted to go full creeper on this...
Butt fuck it.
[x]Ask her how she's doing.

>>19648255
[X]Ask her how she's doing.

[X] Ask her how she is doing

>>19648255
>Ask her how she's doing.
Breathy? Odd

>>19648255
Ask her how she is doing.
And warn her if a white cat thing offers her anything to stomp it into a fine paste

>>19648255
>[x]Ask her how she's doing.

btw: It's not the very same armchair that you got stuck in while on your bodyguard mission, now is it?

>>19648309
Hey ADF, I have been reading GenA love that pic you did for it

>>19648323
I don't know if it's the same one, but we did steal it from the hotel.

>>19648255
Ask how she's doing.

Try to make an effort to be friendly/civil

>>19648326
Thanks, missed a thread didnt I? Balls, wish this bizarre contract date thing ended already. I'll try to spit out a new one in the next thread(hopefully).

>>19648323
Seeing as it is on a comfortable chair that we slept on, maybe. But then again hotels have a surplus of that things

>>19648358
Yeah, have a foolz link
http://archive.foolz.us/tg/thread/19637849/

>>19648358
Yeah there was one today, I stumbled over it while I was reading the archives.

How has your weird contract date thing gone btw? I remember you asking for advice about it back in MSQ a while back

Did you ever get that furry ridiculed out of your classes as well?

>>19648358

atleast you can get in from time to time, i never get there in time. it always goes 404 on me.

i hope Iori is doing well.

>>19648382
And Udz makes it three!
Do you do anything but troll quests bro?

Not that I can speak on that account normally but I have work for the next fortnight so that's gonna suck

>>19648255
[x]Ask her how she's doing.

And warn her that if a white cat-thing shows up to offer her a contract, punt it into a trash compactor.

File: 1340810530705.jpg-(116 KB, 1280x720, ioriheh.jpg)

>>19648307
>>19648271
>>19648267

You're currently sauced at the moment, so you're in a bit of a better mood than before, and it kind of shows when you ask her how she's doing. It's a bit unprecedented, you asking about a principal after the assignment - much more you actually calling them up. Iori sounds a bit surprised and pleased, in any case.

"O-oh. I'm fine, Chiaki-san. I've...my producer has convinced me to postpone my tour for a few months. He says that it's for me to lay low for a while, since the media somehow caught wind of what happened, but I think it's really him just wanting to give me a break." She giggles, slightly. "A-anyway, Mami Tomoe-san is here escorting me to a safehouse I'll be staying in for the duration. She told me it's the--" hasty voices and giggling in the background, not Iori for sure, but someone you recognize by their voice. "--it's the safest place in the city at the moment."

Well. The giggling's a bit weird, but that's a good thing, right? And she's with Mami, so she's safe. The safehouse, though...you wonder where it is.

You ask as nonchalantly as you can.

"Huh? Where is it? Um...er..." More giggling. More voices. "M-Mami-san says you're really familiar with it, so you don't need to know. Anyway, it seems we're here...ah, alright, Mami-san, I'm going to knock."

You furrow your eyebrows, and make to ask again, when suddenly someone knocks at your door again. Three times, just like how Iori knocked on the door on her end three times.

". . ."

Shit.

What do you do?

>>19648417
Pretty much, I guess. Helps that I've got a fair amount of free time at work.

>>19648382
Oh sweet, thanks.

>>19648405
>have to constantly accompany her everywhere
>talks to me incessantly on how ass-retarded her ex was
>eat out, helped bro get a girl, helped solved their "friend problems", yadayadayadayada
I want my fucking free time back. This is almost not worth the trouble. Having someonet\ to talk to is a nice change though.

>>19648448
Get dressed, hide anything that might put off an idol, open door.
or
Give no fucks, open door in undies
Both are far too tempting.

"This isn't real."
Open door.
"Well shit."
Let them in.

>>19648448
Ahahahahaha. Oh fuck.

Get dressed, do last-minute panic tidying, plot revenge on Mami.

>>19648448
Hahahahahaha trolling
Our apartment is gonna make Iori flip her shit

Answer the door still mostly naked, be totally unperturbed

>>19648448
Tell her to hold on for just one moment, take few sheets, blankets and similar objects and throw them over the crates of weapons, clear off a few extra chairs around the table and open the door. We're in our underwear, but we don't give a fuck as it's our home and we're off the clock.

Go to the door, open it partway, check that it's them. Then open it fully and invite them inside.

>>19648468
Heh I am support to be up at 5am but I fell asleep earlier so I am wired as fuck

>>19648476
So not the worst thing you have had to do but things you would rather be doing still? Sounds a bit like why I am still single

>>19648448
>What do you do?
Okay, now how much of a bad plan would be timestopping to tidy up real quick? Pinky can give us a hand too, pretty sure she'll appear to see this.


Now on a serious note, "Yes, I'm here, just gimme a minute, I'm not exactly dressed."
and _hide Emi's Soul Gem_

>Jewish otterren
no, captcha, his name is Kuybey

>>19648448
"Hold on a bit, someone's at the door."

Answer door in underwear, booze in hand, phone wedged between shoulder and chin. Swig booze. Continue talking to Iori via phone, and act like there is nothing unusual about this.

She and Mami are having fun pulling a surprise on us. Let's fuck with her in a fun manner in return.

File: 1340811028326.jpg-(144 KB, 800x533, -_- 23.jpg)

>>19648493
Seconded

>>19648448
"ONE SECOND, GETTING SOME CLOTHES"

>>19648448
"Just a sec..."
Should probably get some clothes on to ourselves...

>>19648525
Oh god seconded

Time stop and...tidy everything up?

No, that isn't your style. Fuck that

Do some variation of this:
>>19648493
>>19648525

>>19648525
do it

>>19648493
this

>>19648520
The soul gem is no biggie but we can throw it into our shield

I love the idea of time stopping and telling pinky to help clean up though

>>19648525
Also, assuming it actually -is- Iori at the door. Once we've opened it and seen her there, ask over the phone "So what are you wearing?" in as pervy a manner as possible, just to see her reaction.

>>19648525
supporting this

If she asks why we're acting so different we can just say that we're not on the clock so professionalism gets thrown out the window. Then we stuff a cigarette in her mouth, light it, and pour her a glass of whisky.

>>19648448
Throw on a robe or blanket, and answer the door.

We're slightly drunk, so we don't care. We're off the clock in any case.

Dressing is not that much of a big deal - even if we didn't suspect they are pulling a surprise here, the resoning is as follows:

If it's someone you'd like to ...um, scratch that, I mean - someone you can stand seeing, it's also fine that person sees you mostly naked - probable had at some point already anyway.

If it's someone you don't want to see, he's dead either way. You might as well give him/her some eye candy before final demise.

>>19648560
>Once we've opened it and seen her there, ask over the phone "So what are you wearing?" in as pervy a manner as possible, just to see her reaction.
this idea is pure gold

>appearing almost nude in front of an idol that was nearly raped
/tg/...

>>19648623
1) Homurous joke can make stressful situations a lot easier to deal with.
2) Mami knows you, pretty sure she warned her.

>>19648623
She wasn't nearly raped by us and was actually quite comforted by us looking after her

And fuck it we are at home, have our stolen comfortable chair and just had a shower for the first time in god knows how long. We want to relax

So what is this? Is it like Sailor Nothing?

>>19648695
More or less, except the MC is a female Magical Girl Max Payne.

File: 1340812341987.jpg-(42 KB, 800x450, 132165498411.jpg)

>>19648448
>What do you do?

Glare at Mami as soon as she fucking comes in sight.

>>19648695
Based off of Madoka, to a degree, we've got time stop and a shield with near infinite storage space that we fill with various guns and explosives.

Take into account our chain smoking, alcoholism and demeanor we're pretty much Max Payne but a Magical Girl.

>>19648709
Who's also a lich. QB is your friendly neighbourhood alien eldritch abomination.

>>19648695
more like Sailor Liches

(loosely based on anime Madoka, go watch it if you care)

>>19648695
Magical Max Payne, or, since our next assignment is to retire another Magical Girl, Rick Deckard .

File: 1340812517068.jpg-(28 KB, 416x408, omega-shenron-5204.jpg)

>>19648714
>those eyes
>this is not even my final form

>>19648714
Jesus christ, how horrifying.

>>19648714
Mami owes us a week of pancakes for springing this on us

Again, for someone who hasn't been here for all the threads; why do we hate the mutant cat?

File: 1340812672582.jpg-(97 KB, 1280x720, Haiyore-Nyaruko-san-ep-01-01.jpg)

>>19648722
>QB is your friendly neighbourhood alien eldritch abomination.
Tell me more.

>>19648695
We are a noir version of homura from Madoka
A chain smoking, painkiller addicted, alcoholic magical girl who is haunted by the shit she's been through and takes most of it out on kyuubey

>>19648775
If I gave you all the details it'd spoil Madoka too much, but in short he is the devil.

He manipulates girls into making a witch and consigns them to a life of eternally fighting eldritch horrors with there being two ways out of it, death or becoming what you fight.

>>19648775
He's faustian, as in - his "deals" sound awesome but there is always some catch that he didn't mention since you didn't ask the right questions. Usually a catch that's gonna kill you. Or make you wish it had.

>>19648775
Short answer: watch Madoka to find out.
Long answer: he pesters young girls into making a contract. In exchange of a wish, you get to dress as a magical girl and fight witches, and you have to keep doing it, lest you become one.
Witches are, in a few words, monsters born from your despair and inner mind. It's a fate worse than death.

>>19648798
You spoiled quite a bit there.

Either put a robe on, or transform if only to keep up appearances, you don't care about the state of the room though, they can sit on ammo crates right?

Well whatever, time stopping to clean up seems out of character and a good way to invite that pink haired bitch on us again, we're sort of drinking to avoid that shit remember?

Save timestop for survival moments. If we can kill/work without it, do so. I know you like your toy, but it's out of whack. Over-reliance will land us in trouble.

>>19648775
He is a massive cunt who turns girls into magical girls in exchange for a wish but neglects the soul destroying horror and twisting their wish that they must put up with as a result

Also he is a smug little prick

>>19648785
He's not actually friendly. He just wants to eat your sorrow.

>>19648798
>>19648819
>>19648821
Alright, thanks

>>19648847
Rules:
1 - Do not post on /tg/ with a more interesting opening picture than topic.

2 - If stopping the flow of time is an option, /tg/ will abuse it. Mercilessly.

3 - Never participate in a land war in asia.
3b - Unless you're the Mongols.

>>19648775
Because Pic related.

>>19648737
I think this is the first thread Payne's been brought up. It was always Deckard in the previous threads.

File: 1340813226724.png-(741 KB, 1280x720, 5484184.png)

>>19648879
>>19648775
Wah, forgot my pic.

>>19648877
There should be an addendum to rule #2 including creepy pink bitches that remember our past life and wants to kill us.

File: 1340813308398.png-(43 KB, 360x235, 1329142735027.png)

>>19648864
Hey, he's trying to delay the eventual heat death of the universe here!

>>19648847
Bothering about how we look is out of character
We turned up to the job looking like we had crawled out of a dumpster at a cosplay convention so answering the door while in our underwear while we are clean is a step up

>>19648525
>>19648496
>>19648493

You narrow your eyes at the door, then at the phone, before letting out a small sigh - even as a small smile curls the corners of your lips. This is exactly why you don't let coworkers know where you live, you tell yourself. You thought Mami would be an exception, but she did save you from an overdose the last time, so it was really more of a favor to yourself.

"Hold on. Someone's at the door." You say this to Iori in your usual deadpan manner.

Well, if they're playing it that way...

You place your glass back onto the side table and then grab the bottle of Kong Whisky you've been trying to kill for a while now by the neck. Rising from your ridiculously comfortable chair, you make your way towards the door - not bothering for a last minute clean up, and certainly not throwing something decent on. If this is Mami's ploy to get at you, then this is you returning fire.

You wedge your phone between ear and shoulder to free up the hand that undoes the locks and pulls the door a tiny crack.

Well, it's them all right. Both of them trying to keep straight faces. Mami in particular, although she's got the best poker face in the business.

May change soon enough, that.

You pull the door enough for them to see you. All of you.

All of your sports bra wearing, white panties styling, booze-swigging self. And you're still talking to Iori on the phone, who is coincidentally right in front of you.

File: 1340813409788.jpg-(93 KB, 423x750, ioriblush.jpg)

>>19648922

Both girls' eyes widen at your appearance, and both of them redden at the same time. You get the most reaction out of Iori, however, while Mami only smiles sheepishly, knowing that she's outdone.

Iori's holding her phone in a death grip, like she's about to crush it.

You smile slightly at them, before ending the call and folding your phone close.

"Chiaki-chan, sorry for the short notice." Mami breaks the awkward silence with a smile and a stifled giggle. "I'm here with Minase-san to escort her to her safehouse. She'll be staying here for a month or so. Can we come in?"

"C-Chiaki-san..." Iori is mumbling, cheeks burning. "S-s-so...daring..."

You smirk triumphantly at yourself. You sure showed them.

. . .

Wait, what? Did she just say here? She's staying here?

[]Staunchly refuse.
[]Stammer in disbelief and astonishment, swig from bottle. Stammer some more.
[]Curse the name of the Incubator.
[]Play it cool.

File: 1340813423699.jpg-(23 KB, 500x269, 1340304113492.jpg)

>>19648913

>>19648929
[]Curse the name of the Incubator.

You realize this is an armory, right?

>>19648929
Play it cool.

>>19648929
>[]Stammer in disbelief and astonishment, swig from bottle. Stammer some more.
:3

>>19648929
>[]Play it cool.
But under your breath
>[]Curse the name of the Incubator.

File: 1340813599917.jpg-(102 KB, 1200x676, 1301909109008.jpg)

>>19648929
Make a face while looking at our bottle.

Pic related.

>>19648929
[]Play it cool.

>>19648929
"Lesson one, the things which you should not touch, because their function is to kill people. These things include all of the guns, and many of bottles, both glass and plastic."

>>19648929
[X]Play it cool.

Give Iori a cigarette and light it.

Tell Mami that she owes us pancakes, she owes us pancakes whenever we want them for the next month.

Then invite Iori in to our abode, tell her not to worry about the crates of weapons and booze, the umbrella stand with a giant rifle with a chain bayonet and so on.

[X]Curse the name of the Incubator.

Then
[X]Stammer in disbelief and astonishment, swig from bottle. Stammer some more.

"She's staying -HERE-!? ....Shit, you're gonna make me wear clothes indoors, aren't you?"

[x] Play it cool

Remains to be seen how are we going to do our jobs with an already shellshocked idol in tow.

>>19648886
Yeah, but the characters are sort of similar enough you can say one or the other and most people should get the idea

>>19648929

[X] play it cool.

we have been calm the whole time and we can drown away the shock with alcohol!

>>19648978
She'll make us wear pants....before NOON!

>>19648929

[x]Play it cool.

File: 1340813760696.png-(14 KB, 437x499, 1323845750785.png)

>>19648929
>>19648929
>[x]Stammer in disbelief and astonishment, swig from bottle. Stammer some more.

And look like Pic related while doing it.

File: 1340813789266.jpg-(22 KB, 447x560, Reaction 1005.jpg)

>>19648929
[x]Play it cool.
>"S-s-so...daring..."
"What is?" in a deadpan manner, hold the door open for them, close/lock and sit in the comfy chair (anything is fucking comy when you are drunk)

>>19648929
[X]Play it cool.

Well yeah, we worked that bit out from our conversation on the phone 10 seconds ago.

>>19648929
Play it cool
You owe me a lot of pancakes for this one Mami

[X]Play it cool.

>>19648973
This

There Will Be Pancakes

>>19648929
[X]Stammer in disbelief and astonishment, swig from bottle. Stammer some more.
[X]Curse the name of the Incubator.
[X]Play it cool.

All of these at the same time.

>>19648929
[x]Curse the name of the Incubator.
[x]Play it cool.

Though honestly, we're going to be going out on an assignment tomorrow, this won't be exactly a safehouse.
Unless Mami is also staying here. Which would make things convenient by having her cook for us.

>>19648961
This. Also, pancakes.

>>19648913
Pfft, that's just an excuse.

We shouldn't forget to warn Iori about QB. This is essential.

>>19649124
She can't see him. And if she can, RED ALERT!

All we need to say is, "If some weird talking cat offers you a wish, don't do it. It's not worth the price he asks."

File: 1340815050915.jpg-(189 KB, 566x800, accordian master.jpg)

>What do you do?

sell the desert eagle and get something in 5.7x28 or 7.62 tokarev.

>>19649070
Nay, crépes

>>19649001 >>19648973 >>19648961
>>19648958

You manage not to make that much of a fool out of yourself at your complete surprise at this development. Actually, you're playing it very cool, only raising an eyebrow as Mami steps over the threshold of your apartment, while Iori meekly bows her head, still red as a tomato. Of course, she's still staring, but not for lack of trying to avert her eyes.

"Oh, don't make that face, Chiaki-chan. It's only going to be a month or so. Two months, at the most. She needs somewhere that's secure and away from the media, so we chose your apartment."

You close the door behind them and slap the locks on. You take a swig from your bottle of Kong, before asking Mami why the hell didn't they just put her in the HQ living quarters instead?

"She can't very well stay there for a month, Chiaki-chan. We all have homes of our own, and do you think she'll be able to sleep with the racket some of us make at night? Be serious, here, please." Mami seems to have found a can of Febreze in your kitchen and spraying it into the apartment - trying to get the smell of alcohol and cigarette smoke, no doubt. Meanwhile Iori seems to be busy...standing around, uncertain of what to do. You point her towards the chair you stole, and she obediently sits there, as if scared to upset you.

>>19649188

You turn to Mami again, bringing up the fact that no one will be around to protect her when you're away on assignments.

"That's easy. Whenever you're on duty, one of us back at the HQ will come over and keep her company. Us being Sayaka, Kyoko and yours truly." Mami smiles, before walking over and pulling up the garter of your panties just a bit, before snapping it back painfully. "And we'll do it with most of our clothes on, we promise."

[]What are you implying, flaxen-haired wench?
[]No sir, I don't like it.
[]Well, what does Iori think about it?

>>19649197
>[X]What are you implying, flaxen-haired wench?
>[X]Well, what does Iori think about it?

>>19649197
[x]What are you implying, flaxen-haired wench?
[x]Well, what does Iori think about it?

No, seriously, we should really mention that the guns and peels are not good for touching.

>>19649197
[x] As long as the pancakes are hot and the syrup flows like water, it's fine. The kitchen is over there.

[x]Well, what does Iori think about it?

>>19649208
>>19649212
These

>>19649212
This. At the very least we should warn Iori to assume any weapon she finds to be loaded, and to always check before assuming otherwise. At the very least the girl needs to learn some basic gun safety. No need for her to accidentally shoot herself...or us.

>>19649197
[x] Iori's thoughts.

>>19649197
>[]What are you implying, flaxen-haired wench?
>[]Well, what does Iori think about it?

>>19649197
Iori's thoughts on the matter

>>19649197
What are you implying?
What does Iori think?
How many pancakes are you prepared to cook?

>lesbian in denial we don't like, one-eyed lesbian in denial and Mami taking care of Iori
Dis gon b gud.

>>19649272
I honestly doubt they are lesbians in denial

They just don't like advertising it

She didn't even flinch when we told her to go make up with her girlfriend it was just when we all but yelled out that her girlfriend tried to stab us she had an issue

so quick question: is this version of homura pre or post madoka?
because if madoka is a god already: technically grief seeds don't exist because witches stopped existing.

>>19649364
>Mami is alive

>>19649364
Spinoff. Most likely before Madoka's ascension.

>>19649254
>>19649212

No good. Just like Mami to know all the answers to the questions you've even yet to ask. You're so outclassed here it's not even fair, and you only shake your head and take another swig from the bottle of Kong in your hand.

After a moment, you grumble something at Mami's direction, and she nods, seemingly pleased with herself.

"Is that all you want, Chiaki-chan? Well, certainly! I'll make you a batch right now, and just because you're being such a good sport about this, I'll even stock your kitchen for you, so you don't have to order out every night!"

You didn't...ask that, but okay. You open your mouth to reiterate your original sentence, but Mami suddenly comes up close, talking in low, conspiratorial tones.

"I'm not supposed to tell you this, Chiaki-chan, but she came up with the idea herself. Actually, she insisted that we make her stay at your place, and put it across as our idea."

She quickly steps back and smiles. "And I'm not implying anything that needs to be implied right now." She clears her throat, before speaking in a louder voice. "O-oh! I'll work on those pancakes right away, Chiaki-sama, please don't glare at me so much!"

Giggling, she scurries off towards the kitchen, glancing back at you and Iori every so often. A moment, and you hear the familiar hum of the refrigerator being switched on. You don't really use it much, so you keep it deactivated.

Now it's just you and Iori in the...living room. Alone, for the most part. And she's looking at you expectantly.

Awkward.

[]Might as well lay some ground rules. Pills, guns, the whole thing.
[]Ask her if she's really comfortable about staying with you. You're not exactly the sort of person anyone else would like to live with.

>>19649364
I am leaning towards pre
Our time abilities seem to copy our consciousness to another us instead of moving the current us into another time stream so this is one of the many failed times where Madoka died yet the others survived

Quite possibly Madoka died first in this timeline and is partly why we became a magical girl

>>19649405
Both.
First
>[]Ask her if she's really comfortable about staying with you. You're not exactly the sort of person anyone else would like to live with.
Then
>[]Might as well lay some ground rules. Pills, guns, the whole thing.

>>19649405
>[X]Might as well lay some ground rules. Pills, guns, the whole thing.
>[X]Ask her if she's really comfortable about staying with you. You're not exactly the sort of person anyone else would like to live with.

Both seem like good options, so why not do both?

>>19649405
First
[x]Ask her if she's really comfortable about staying with you. You're not exactly the sort of person anyone else would like to live with.

Then if she's sure she wants to stay here, this.
[x]Might as well lay some ground rules. Pills, guns, the whole thing.

>>19649427
This

>>19649405
[]Ask her if she's really comfortable about staying with you. You're not exactly the sort of person anyone else would like to live with.

I mean, she'd be living in the fucking armory

>>19649405
Both. Start with asking if she's comfortable with the arrangements, etc.

No need to be a dick about it, but be firm when telling her about gun safety and peels. Try to set aside a day when you can teach her about fire arms so she isn't afraid of them, respects what they can do, and she defend herself if we're not around.

>>19649478
Seconding this.

>>19649405
Ask her if she is really comfortable then go into ground rules

We know what her answer will be but we need to make it look like we are trying

Also maybe see about teaching her how to use a gun if necessary

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>>19649478
>>19649433

The awkwardness lasts for a good while before you move towards the chair you fell asleep in and almost got the idol now sitting on it raped. You place the now nearly-empty bottle back onto the side table, before turning around and sitting on the chair's soft armrest. Your back to Iori's side.

You let out a small sigh, before ask her the one question that needed to be asked before anything else.

She answers almost too quickly.

"Y-yes. Yes, I'm alright with living here with you, Chiaki-san. It's...I know you probably think of me as some sort of primadonna that's used to luxury, b-but I'm not, I promise." She smiles at you as you turn towards her. "I'll keep, and I will do my best not to be a burden."

You're silent for a moment, before you nod and stand up from the armrest, turning fully to face her. It's then that you give her a few simple rules about your apartment - how not to handle the guns until you've taught her to, how to treat every gun she sees as loaded and dangerous (even if it's apparent to the contrary) and that to never do anything with your pills or your alcohol. You tell her that you'll be teaching her how to handle basic firearms one day, when you're free.

She takes all this surprisingly well, eagerly nodding, hanging on to your every word. You notice this and you can't help but redden.

"I understand completely, Chiaki-san." Iori nods after you finish, smiling. 'I hope we get along well. Please take care of me."

Great. Really great.

Well, at least Mami seems to be doing some good in your unused kitchen. You're already smelling some very nice pancakes being made, even if it's nearing evening.

You're tempted to ask her if she has an ulterior motive to all this. You know, besides already seeing you in your underwear.

What do you do?

>>19649680
Keep your thoughts to yourself. It's the polite thing to do to someone who's sharing your home.

>>19649680
Now that the shock value has worn off, perhaps putting some clothes on would be wise. Also, see if we can subtly ask Mami if Iori is one of the magical girl candidates that the Incubator was talking about.

>>19649680
Warn her about QB.
Sure, it might seem...'glamorous' isn't the word I'd use, but tempting, to enter into a contract with QB.
But it's not. It's only really one step short of suicide. Try to get this across to her gently. We're a Magical Girl, so that she, and other girls like her, don't have to be.

>>19649680
"So, why here? I mean, besides the charming company and stunningly upscale decor, I can't think what reason you'd be happy to be dumped in a hole like this."

Then grin broadly and go about rummaging for something a bit more decent while she answers.

>>19649747
This

>>19649747
I'm going with this.

>>19649741
Safety first; above all else.

File: 1340819564979.jpg-(43 KB, 600x372, youreina.jpg)

So how long till someone makes one of these for these threads?

I just sure hope QB is not going to make Iori his new employee

>>19649889
It's noir. Shit ain't gonna work out the way we want it to. We should warn Iori, but I imagine QB will keep pressing for a contract, and by god something will happen that forces her into one.

>>19649906
Like wishing Yayoi to recover?

>>19649906
Forget it Chiaki-san, it's Magical Girl Noir Quest.

>>19649916
Nah, something more likely to end up horrible, like wishing for us to be happy.

>>19649916
Something like that, or something horrible happens to Chiaki. Something that forces her hand.

God, it's horrible that I can't wait to see what terrible things happen to these characters next.

>>19649927
As we put the bullet that will end her suffering in her head.

>>19649927
>Nah, something more likely to end up horrible, like wishing for us to be happy.
Now that sounds like an endgame material

>>19649927
Oh god, please tell how this would go bad. I'm sure it would, but let's hear some ideas.

>>19649946
Unlocks our homicidal urges and we go on a rampant killing spree, laughing maniacally as we go.

>>19649946
Shit, I dunno, like, unlocking our memories or releasing that pink abominations within us?

>>19649946
As worded, it's just so vague.
The easiest way for the wish to come true is that Chiaki/Homura get's personality-wiped, and becomes a sociopathic killer that enjoys her job, just like Kirika. And then, Mami and Iori will need to retire her.

>>19648929
>Iori's holding her phone in a death grip, like she's about to crush it.
No, no, no, careful there, girl, if your phone gets destroyed, it's Dead E... oh, wait, wrong anime. Nevermind.

>>19649977
Sounds just about right

>>19649680
Does this apartment have a bedroom or something? Can't let guest sleep in armchair. Because it's kinda the place where you sleep now. Among other reasons.

>>19649917
Doesn't mean we can't try, man. Doesn't mean we can't try.

File: 1340821473857.jpg-(1.05 MB, 1024x1280, 330f85a8715ea67e38ce9fad884e03(...).jpg)

>>19649747

You see her pale slightly at this question, even though you've tried your best to say it in a casual tone. You don't stick around to see why, having moved to the small dresser at the corner of the apartment, where you keep a scant few clothes (and a good amount of clean underwear). after a moment, you pull on a white shirt and black spats. That'll do for now.

She seems to have her answer prepared as you walk back to her, straightening your clothes. "I...Mami-san and I helped me look into where the real Yayoi is. As it turns out, she never really recovered. She...killed herself a few weeks after that incident, but it was covered up. I should've known, because when Yayoi started calling me, she seemed to be really different. I thought it was just something related to what happened to her, but now I realize that I'd been talking and comforting and encouraging someone who never needed it in the first place." Iori smiles sadly at you. "I'm here, Chiaki-san, because you're the only person I know, here. Yayoi was the only one I knew in this city. With her gone, it's...it's just you. I'm sorry."

She's slightly tearful at this, but she gamely wipes them away from the corner of her eyes with the back of her hand. After a moment, she giggles, even if it sounds forced.

>>19650120
"It's alright. I guess you could have picked someone that's a bit more social." move your head towards kitchen / Mami "But hey, you have to play with the cards you got. Say, do you Ca... um.. did you ever play poker?"

>>19650120


She watches you refill the empty glass, as if enraptured by the dark amber liquid.

"Do...do you really need to drink that much, Chiaki-san...?"

You pick up the glass, drain it, and say yes. Passing her the remote, you tell her to surf the channels a bit to pass the time - you've got something to ask Mami.

You step into the kitchen, where an apron-wearing blonde is humming a pleasant tune while fixing you your pancakes. You're like a child, really.

You stop and stare at the skirt-clad bottom swaying to the tune's beat, distracting you more than the scent of fluffy pancakes.

You shake your head, and ask quietly about Kyuubey and the replacement about to take Kirika's place.

"...I'm not sure if it's Minase-san or not," Mami says after a moment. "She's not anything like us, is she? She's got a future. Plus, she's still at the peak of her career. People will notice when she's gone." She shakes her head, drills bobbing softly from side to side. "We're nobodies. People are already if we die, so long as we take out as many monsters of them as we do it."

Well. That's a relief. Of sorts.

"Don't worry too much about it, Matsuda-san. Kyuubey means well, even if his methods are a bit suspect at times." She piles on two freshly-made pancakes onto your plate, which already has a few pancakes drowning in syrup already. "Here. Share with her if you want. The sugar should perk you both up."

What do you do?

File: 1340822024991.gif-(104 KB, 500x370, tumblr_m41degnhNU1r15c4p.gif)

Sailor Moon was better.

>>19650169
Well let's share it

>>19650169
Mumble thanks and do as mama Mami says.

We wait for the courier I guess

>>19650169
Share the pancakes, take some small comfort that we have left in this day.

Tomorrow we have to retire a Magical Girl.

>>19650200
>>19650206
These

>>19650169
Go back out with two forks, sit on the armrest of the chair and hand Iori a fork.

"Well, I guess you can stay here a while if you need to. Don't expect any special treatment, though. This isn't a work obligation or anything, got it?"