Look at this shit, how come we can't ever invade a cool planet, with like, chicks in bikinis, you know. How come countries like that don't ever need Guardsmen? I'll tell you why, it's lack of pussy that fucks planets up. Lack of pussy is the root fucking cause of all global instability, if more hivers were getting quality pussy, there'd be no reason for us to come over and fuck em up like this! 'Cus a nutbusting hiver, is a happy hiver.
her name is Noel.I have a dream about her.
Well he is right, if women were no always hiding their pussies in order to get money from guys everyone would be a lot happier.
she rings my bellgot gym class in half an hour
>>19645782*BLAM*>>19645806*BLAM*>>19645810*BLAM*GM: Paul! If you keep blasting the PC's for morale we're gonna have to restart the game again! CUT THAT SHIT OUT.and then paul lost his commissar privelages
>>19645915rip PaulHe died doing the right thing
Hey Commisar! If you lie on your belly when a Baneblade rolls by, it feels really fucking good!
so it's pussy you want? Lord Slaanesh can create infinite number of pussies for your pleasure. All you need to do is Worship Her.
Yeah, you should definitely quote me. This whole thing comes down to pussy! You take the secessionists and comp their asses for a week in Quaddis. No fucking war! No, in the opinion of this Guardsman, its about pussy. Vess is just part of the problem, if Vess invested more in the pussy infrastructure of Zweihan than he did in his fucking gay-ass army, then this planet would be no more fucked up than say, Necromunda.
Oh how she rocksIn keds and tube socks.
But she doesn't know who I amAnd she doesn't give a damn about me
Cause I'm just a Cadian dirtbag babyYeah I'm just a Cadian dirtbag baby
Friends all tried to warn meBut I held my head up highAll the time they warned meBut I only passed them byThey all tried to tell meBut I guess I didn't careI turned my back andLeft them standing thereAll the burning bridges that have fallen after meAll the lonely feelings and the burning memoriesEveryone I left behind each time I closed the doorBurning bridges lost forevermorehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kuRWvsmkVf0
>>19646212
Was Generation Kill a good show or something? I didn't really hear much about it...
>>19646446>Was Generation Kill a good show or something?PFHAHAHAHAHA!"Was Generation Kill a good show?"!Point at him boys!Point at him and LAUGH!
>>19646446Excellent show.
>>19646081Ray...lay off the Obscura.
>>19646446You have brought some upon our family name son, shamefur display!! You must commit sudoku go regain your honor.
>>19646451Read the book too, while you're at it. Or before you watch the miniseries.
>>19646333these, more of them
>>19646545Don't have a comic for it, but...Crashing through the skyComes the fearful cryChaos! Chaos! Chaos! Chaos!Armies of the nightEvil taking flightChaos! Chaos! Chaos! Chaos!No where to runNo where to hidePanic spreading far and wideWho can turn the tide?IG Joooooooooe! A real Imperial heroYo Joe!IG Joe is there!IG Joooooooooe! A real Imperial heroIG Joe is there!Fighting for mankind wherever there's trouble over land and sea and air!IG Joe is there!Can mankind opposeDeadliest of foes?Chaos! Chaos! Chaos! Chaos!Joes will risk it allTo end the evil call ofChaos! Chaos! Chaos! Chaos!They never give up!They never say die!Walking tall with banners high!They sound the battle cry!Yo Joe! Yo Joe!IG Joooooooooe! A real Imperial hero!IG Joe will dare!IG Joooooooooe! A real Imperial hero!IG Joe is there!Fighting for mankind wherever there's trouble over land and sea and air!IG Joe is there!IG Joe is the codename for The Imperium of Man's daring, highly trained special mission force.It's purpose, to defend humanity against Chaos-A ruthless, evil force, determined to rule the galaxy.IG Joooooooooe! A real Imperial hero!IG Joe will dare!IG Joooooooooe! A real Imperial hero!IG Joe is there!Fighting for mankind wherever there's trouble over land and sea and air!IG Joe is there!Chaos! Retreat! Retreat!IG Joooooooooe! A real Imperial heroIG Joe is there!IG Joooooooooooooooooe!
>>19645782op, i fail to understand why this a bad thing
>>19645782How every Cadian Game should be played
>>19646464I'm on it like a motherfucker, Brad! I'm moto, dude!
>>19646058Yeah, over your own fucking body. Your hands grow vaginas (best masturbation ever), your forehead grows a vagina, your mouth is replaced with a vagina, your belly grows a gaint vagina, your penis grows a vagina, even the back of your knees grow vaginas.
>>19651385>even the back of your knees grow vaginas>2012>Not knowing about the fourth hole
>>19651394The fourth hole moves inside the vagina so you can fuck someone while fucking someone.
>>19651408yo dawg
>>19651408>>19651394>>19651385>mfw
>>19651385>>19651394>>19651408
Wait, shit, is the book out yet?TO THE TORRENT SITES.
We could make these into an IG regiment using the rules.The Emperor's Lonely Hearts or something.Just like the 1st Membranes from earlier today.http://1d4chan.org/wiki/1st_Membranes
>>19645782i'm glad im not the only person who realizes the inevitability of most Only War games turning into Generation Kill 40k
FOLLOW MY LASBOLTS! how has this not been posted yet?
"People have been fightin' over this bitch since ancient times, dog. How many graves we standing on? Think about all the wisdom and science and money and civilization it took to build these machines; and the courage of all the men who came here; and the love of their wives and children that was in their hearts. And all that hate, dog. All the hate it took to blow these mother-fuckers away. It's destiny, dog - The Imperium of Man's gotta rule the world."The only change I did was insert "The Imperium of Man." That quote is GODDAMN PERFECT for Only War.
"Yo Emprah is watchin'! The Imperium is watchin'! But more important: Godfather is watchin'! Make no mistake: There! Will! Be! No! Fuck ups! Guardsmens around this world, would gives they left nuts to be, where you are! Anybody not want to go!?""NO SERGEANT MAJOR!"
"Where did we get that so-called translator?""He told me he worked for Lord Militant General Mattis.""He told me he worked for the Inquisition.""Back at Mathilda, he said he could hook me up with a free wide-band pict-caster."
"Sergeant, I didn't get to shoot!""That fucking sucks, Trombley. Did your recruiting officer tell you you'd get to shoot people?""Fucking A he did!""See, Trombley asked about shooting people. I asked about pussy. The guy told me I'd get to go to a paradise world, get all kinds of strange. What'd you ask about, Brad? Brad probably saw that T.V. commercial, the one with the knight that fucks up the ork then turns into the Stormtrooper.""Woo woo! Dress blues with a chainsword!""Fucking dress blues commercial man. That got so many fucking guys. Now look at us: Trombley hasn't killed anybody, I'm half a world away from good paradise world pussy, and Colbert is out here rolling around the fuckbutt Jericho Reach, hunting for orks in a MOPP suit that smells like four days of piss and ball sweat.""Nice.""You should have rolled into battle with a chainsword, Brad. That would've fuckin' rocked."
Yeah, looks like Sarda's big bad Undying Guard cultists got wind I was coming. As the great remembrancer Ice Cube once said, 'If the day does not require an M36, it is good.
"A buddy of mine in one-seven had to fucking clean up a Tauros that got hit like that. He said he found the driver’s fingers in the engine compartment.""How did he know they were the driver’s fingers?""Because they were still gripping the steering wheel, fucknuts."
I’m betting that they were thinking that they could just, you know, leave a fully loaded supply truck laying around, just like you could anywhere in Scintilla, you know. I mean, you park your unlocked car in Gunmetal or Tarsus, I mean, your shit’s going to be there, guaranteed, when you get back from the day spa with your skin all exfoliated and shit, right. I mean, seriously homes, why would our Stigmartus brethren want four hundred pounds of det packs, claymores and crates of M36's. I mean, it just doesn’t make any sense. Oh wait, you know they could be using all those det packs for like a giant Feast of the Emperor's Ascension celebration.
>>19646446Generation Kill is the shit. I never thought Ziggy from seasons 2 of The Wire could be so badass.
"I don't know why you guys are down on this shit. I'm a believer of the Imperial Cult.""Theologically speaking, Trombley, the world's been going downhill ever since man first offered entrails to the gods.""What's that mean? Entrails?""That religion is gay.""The point, Lance Corporal: we're supposed to be a recon regiment of pure warrior spirit. We're out here, 40 klicks in enemy lines, and this man of the Emperor here, he's a fuckin' POG. In fact, he's an officer POG. That's one more layer of bureaucracy and unnecessary logistics, one more asshole we need to supply MREs and baby wipes for. And worst of all, worst of all, the motherfucker doesn't even carry a weapon. When push comes to shove even Rolling Stone picks up a lasgun but this fuckin' shill of God, he can't cover a sector, he'll never hump ammo or Claymores. This is a fuckin' war and we're here as warriors, so on top of everything else that's expected of us do we really need to drag him along and indulge in this make-believe bullshit?""Oh, no. Now not only do we have to worry about all the Charms you've eaten, but now Brad's just pissed off the Emperor."
"Shit man, it’s really pretty country out here.""Except for the mortars.""Yeah, but they’re random. I mean, come on man, It’s not like anybody’s scoping you with a longlas or anything, it’s not personal like that. You really gotta let some of this shit go."
"Lt.’s boys are eatin’ some weird-ass meat over there. It’s like Abaddon the Despoiler's picnic. Makes you appreciate shit. Makes you appreciate shit like good old-fashioned [reads M.R.E. label] chunk formed meat patties.""What kind of goddamn sadists work at the M.R.E. factory? Ten days and nothing but peanut butter. When the fuck am I gonna get a jalapeno cheese?"
"Eleven thousand pounds of ordinance dropped and we didn’t hit any armor. We didn’t destroy any villages though either. Guess that sort of goes in the win column, right?"
"Dear Frederick, thank you for your nice letter, but I am actually an Elysian Drop Trooper who was born to kill whereas clearly you have mistaken me for some sort of wine-sipping Ministorum dick-suck. And although peace probably appeals to tree-loving bisexuals like you and your parents, I happen to be a death-dealing, blood-crazed warrior who wakes up every day just hoping for the chance to dismember my enemies and defile their civilizations. Peace sucks a hairy asshole, Freddy. War is the motherfucking answer.
"What's up with Dave?""I don't know man, he just saw some shit. Doesn't say a thing anymore. He just sits there, catatonic, listening to vox static""Friday as usual, huh?"
"Then again, the Imperium wouldn't have to deal with the prospect of you returning to your cretinous daughter-fucking hive-scum rad-pool shithole and producing mutant, whiskey tango, scrotum-faced, bucktoothed, zit-exploding progeny.
Fuck, now i gotta re-watch Generation Kill before i start Only War.
"Look! We're not worried about the Chaos army, we've got enough troubles of our own. To the right General Sulla, to the left the Vostroyan Army, to the rear our own goddamn artillery, and besides all that it's raining. And the only good thing to say about the weather: it keeps our aerocorps from blowing us all to Hell because its too lousy to fly, versteh?""To a Cadian like you, a Hero is some type of weird sandwich, not some nut who takes on three Leman Russes.""We see our role as essentially defensive in nature. While our armies are advancing so fast and everyone's knocking themselves out to be heroes, we are holding ourselves in reserve in case the Xenos mount a counteroffensive which threatens Cadia... or maybe even Terra. Then we can move in and stop them. But for 1.6 million thrones, we could become heroes for three days."
"Deathstrikes?""Fethin' A right. Joke of it is, these things cost like a million thrones each. Could probably buy the town and every motherfucker in it for less.""Shit, you pay me half that, I'll hump in some tube charges and blow that shit up my own damn self."
