You: I REQUIRE YOUR SKULL
You: FOR THE THRONE OF KHORNE
Stranger: You don't even know how to spell corn
You: IT IS NOT CORN, YOU FOOL.
You: KHORNE THE BLOOD GOD.
Stranger: The yellow corn is spelled C-O-R-N. dumbass


Wut?

>>19413666
Fool obviously doesn't know how to spell maize.

Stranger: hi asl!

You: GOOD AFTERNOON! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Searching with /tg/ let's see what's up.

Stranger: hi
Stranger: horny
Stranger: m/f
You: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
Stranger: SEX
You: SKULLS FOR THE ETERNAL THRONE OF KHORNE

>>19413702
and then he disconnected.

I think you'd have better luck with Slaanesh. What's his yell anyway? Drugs for the drug god, dicks for the dick throne?

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: BATTLE BROTHAH
You: WHERE AH THE XENOS?!
Stranger: 19 f
You: THEY ARE AT MAP MARKER 19 F?!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


BROTHERS THERE ARE MORTAL CIVILIANS AT 19 F WE MUST HURRY OR THEY WILL BE KILLED!

Stranger: hey

You: FOR THE DARK GODS!

Stranger: asl?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

File: 1339206472423.jpg-(90 KB, 360x360, 1328046176438.jpg)

>>19413741
HURRY MEN!, WE'RE ON THE RIGHT PLANET THIS TIME RIGHT?

WE MUST SURELY MOVE AT ONCE.

Stranger: 17 m skype kik
You: NO BROTHER THERE ARE NO XENOS AT MAP MARKER 17 M THEY'RE AT 19 F!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

BROTHERS I NEED MORE ASSISTANCE AT 19 F!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: Hi

Stranger: Hi

Stranger: Asl

You: TAKE ME TO THE ENEMY APOTHECARY!

Stranger: Ha?

You: THERE IS NO TIME TO BE WASTED! RECENT REPORTS INDICATE TRAITOR LEGIONS AT GRID 19F!

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

This is the /tg/ I know and love

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: ANY GIRLS WITH CAM AND SKYPE?
You: BATTLE BROTHAH
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

>>19413678
Its Maze dumbass.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: BATTLE BROTHER WHAT IS YOUR LOCATION?
Stranger: 18 female
You: YOU'RE AT 18 F?
Stranger: i'm hqanna i am from san fran cali
You: THAT IS CLOSE TO 19 F WE MUST HURRY
Stranger: wat about you?
You: XENOS ARE ASSAULTING THE MORTAL SETTLEMENTS THERE
You: IF WE DO NOT HURRY THEY WILL ALL BE SLAUGHTERED
Stranger: wantna to uhhemm ... get dirty?
Stranger: wanna wtatch me umm show my tits & uhhmmm. . . finger myserlf for u umm. sexy
You: YES I WILL GET DIRTY WHEN I AM COVERED IN THE INTESTINES OF THE ENEMY
You: WHAT
Stranger: kk!!! :P you d.ont need a cam cuz i got one :]
You: HOW WILL SHOWING YOUR MAMMARY GLANDS HELP DEFEAT THE XENOS?!
Stranger: here is my um user pagze
You: ARE YOU A SISTER OF BATTLE?
You: IS THAT WHY YOU WISH TO SHOW ME YOUR MAMMARY GLANDS?
Stranger: http://llinks.net/gzg
You: NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR THAT SISTER
You: WE MUST SLAY XENOS THEN YOU CAN SHOW ME THEM
Your conversational partner has disconnected

WONDROUS NEWS BROTHERS! THERE IS A SISTER OF BATTLE SQUAD AT 18 F! THEY SHALL ASSIST US AND AFTER THE BATTLE THEY SHALL SHOW US THEIR MAMMARY GLANDS!

rolled 97 = 97

>>19413835
its labyrinth you fucking retard

>>19413848
It's David Bowie's man-parts, you dum-dum.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi 27 m usa

You: BATTLE-BROTHER! THERE ARE NO TRAITORS AT 27M! REPORTS STATE THEY ARE AT 19F! THERE IS NO TIME TO BE WASTED!

Stranger: greatest opening salvo ever hahaha

You: WE MUST FOLLOW UP ON IT! MORTALS ARE IN DANGER! THE BEZERKERS OF KHORNE DRAW EVER CLOSER!

Stranger: Korn, fuck them, they haven't had a hit since 99 haha

Stranger: I'm ashamed to admit I was a fan, :'(

You: THERE ARE 99 OF THEM? A FULL BATTLE COMPANY? THIS IS A THREAT! WE MUST ENGAGE AND PURGE THE ENEMY!

Stranger: I'd like to purge her enemy?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

BROTHERS! KHORNE BEZERKERS HAVE BEEN SIGHTED AS WELL! A FULL COMPANY!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi

You: HELLO

Stranger: m or f

You: ARE YOU READY TO FULFILL YOUR DESTINY?

You: AS HUMANITY'S FINAL HOPE?

Stranger: why

You: shit, I don't usually get this far

You: um...

You: dragons are invading from the moon

You: yeah, that works

You: DRAGONS ARE INVADING FROM THE MOON, YOUNG ADVENTURER

You: AND ONLY YOU CAN STOP THEM

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Now I'll never be an NPC. D=

You: Hey
Stranger: Hellooo
You: 22/m/Chemos

Nobody wants to talk to Fulgrim today.

File: 1339207214190.jpg-(24 KB, 220x260, 1328703382195.jpg)

You: BATTLEBROTHER!
Stranger: GREETINGS !
You: THE ENEMY
You: 19F!
Stranger: MUST BE BURNED
You: WHERE ARE WE!? WHERE MUST WE GO!?
Stranger: WE WASTE TIME TALKING
Stranger: FORWARD
You: NO TIME FOR TALK, ONLY GLORY
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: Hey

You: 22/m/Ultramar

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Even strangers know not to fuck with Wardian tripe.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hey
You: BATTLE BROTHER HEAD TO 19F AT HASTE
You: THERE ARE FORCES OF THE DARK GODS THERE
Stranger: Ok
You: GOOD
You: EMPEROR PROTECTS!
Stranger: Sweet
You: SWEET INDEED SHALL OUR VICTORY BE BATTLE BROTHER

File: 1339207565485.jpg-(81 KB, 800x393, 800px-Angry_Marine_Desktop.jpg)

Stranger: Hi
Stranger: Asl
You: BATTLE BROTHAH
You: WHERE IS THE ENEMY?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

FUCKING COWARDS! WHERE ARE OUR REINFORCEMENTS?!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You and the stranger both like /tg/.
Stranger: You, sir, should unmask.
You: BATTLE BROTHER!
Stranger: I am no battle brother!
You: HURRY, WE MUST ASSAULT THE POSITION OF 19F
You: THE BERZERKERS OF KHORNE, A FULL COMPANY OF THEM!
Stranger: I am but a humble tyra-- Imperial citizen, sir.
Stranger: I am unsure how I could insist.
Stranger: Err, assist.
You: YOU MUST COME WITH ME!
You: RIDE ON MY HUGE SHOULDERS
You: WHICH ARE COVERED IN PAULDRONS
You: WHICH ARE ALSO HUGE!
Stranger: YES, MY LARGE BURLY BROTHER.
Stranger: AND ON THE WAY I CAN EAT/MEET PLENTY OF NEW PEOPLE.
You: EAT? IS THIS THE TAINT OF CHAOS?
You: PURGE
You: EVERYTHING
Stranger: NO.
Stranger: IT IS NOT CHAOS I SWEAR
Stranger: OH WAIT
Stranger: BLAAARGAERG
Stranger: *consume consume
Stranger: *devour devour
Stranger: *eat eat
You: OH NO MY HUGE SHOULDERS!
Stranger: *swallow swallow
You: THEY HAVE BEEN CONSUMED!
Stranger: *digest digest
You: AND MY HUGE BACK TOO!
Stranger: NOW
Stranger: YOUR FAAAACE
Stranger: *CONSUMATION OF FACE
You: NOT MY HUGE FACE NOOO!
Stranger: *FACE IS CONSUMED
Stranger: *FACE DIGESTION
Stranger: I guess you can say...
Stranger: Your property just got deFACED.
You: I REALLY...FACED MY FEARS

You: BATTLE BROTHER!
You: WHAT ARE YOUR CO-ORDS!?
You: BATTLE BROTHER, THE ATMOSPHERE IS INTERRUPTING MY VOX, DO YOU READ ME!?
You: OH! I FORGOT TO SAY OVER, OVER.
You: DO YOU READ ME!? BATTLE BROTHER!? OVER.
You: I AM AT 18F, CHARGING UP WITH THE CADIAN 69th CHIMERA'S. OVER
You: I FEAR THEY WILL NOT MAKE IT. OVER.
You: SOMEOF THEM HEARD THAT LAST LINE, OVER.
You: WHEN WE HIT 19F I WILL ASK FOR A STRAFFING RUN ON OUR CO-ORDS. OVER.
You: THE GUARDSMEN NO LONGER LOOK HAPPY WITH MY PRESENCE. OVER.
You: BROTHER!? OVER>
You: WHERES THE AIR SUPPORT!? OVER.
You: OH THRONE! IT'S TEARING ME APART
You: GUAGH
You: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
You have disconnected.


Somewhere out there a dark god laughs at the loss of men.

You: 22/m/Chemos
You: you?
Stranger: 20 F UK
You: Radical.
You: Have you heard the of the wonder that is Slaanesh?
Stranger: ooh yes
You: How about the Emperors Children?
Stranger: chaos scum
You: Chaos is fabulous~
You: Just like me~
You: Fulgrim~
Stranger: you are fulgrim?
You: Didn't you see me say Chemos up there?
Stranger: i did actually
Stranger: so
Stranger: what are you going to do to me? im an eldar farseer who needs teachiong the ways of the imperium
You: Oh man, thanks for that whole "Orgying Slaanesh into existence"thing
You: and I'm Far too gay to do anything.

Stranger: Hello
You: MAKE HASTE, MAGGOT! COMMISSAR SAYS WE'RE NEEDED AT MARKER 19 F!
Stranger: Commissar
Stranger: Get out
Stranger: This is the MUTHAFUCKIN USA
You: DO NOT QUESTION YOUR ORDERS! BACK IN FORMATION BEFORE I HAVE YOU EXECUTED!
Stranger: BORN IN THE USA

NEVER IN THE HISTORY OF OUR REGIMENT HAS A GUARDSMAN SHOWN SUCH A GROSS LACK OF DISCIPLINE! REST ASSURED, ASTARTES, THESE ELEMENTS HAVE BEEN CUT FROM OUR RANKS AND THE LOYAL SERVANTS OF THE EMPEROR WILL SUPPORT YOU SOON!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: NONE CAN WITHSTAND OUR FAITH!

Stranger: Ok

You: ENEMY SPOTTED IN 19F! A FULL COMPLEMENT OF THE SISTERS OF BATTLE ARE IN PURSUIT! WHAT DO YOU BRING TO THE BATTLE, BROTHER?

Stranger: Excalibur

You: I HAVE NOT HEARD OF THIS PATTERN WEAPON BROTHER!

Stranger: King Arthur's sword

You: KING ARTHUR? WHO IS THIS KING ARTHUR? HOW DARE HE TRY TO USURP THE EMPEROR'S AUTHORITY! YOU HAVE BEEN DECLARED EXCOMMUNICATIS TRAITORIS!

Stranger: It's my kingdom

You: WE ARE HERE, AND IT IS NOW THAT WE PERFORM OUR TASK. IN FEALTY TO THE GOD EMPEROR, OUR UNDYING LORD, I DECLARE EXTERMINATUS UPON THE IMPERIAL WORLD OF ARTHUR. I HEREBY SIGN THE DEATH WARRANT OF AN ENTIRE WORLD, AND CONSIGN A BILLION SOULS TO OBLIVION. MAY IMPERIAL JUSTICE ACCOUNT IN ALL BALANCE. THE EMPEROR PROTECTS.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

We have successfully stalled an incursion into Imperial Space from the Dead World 'Arthur' brothers! Rejoice!

Stranger: hi
You: BATTLE BROTHER
You: WE MUST LEAVE AT ONCE
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I detect a streak of yellow on this planet!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Asl
You: FORWARD, BATTLE BROTHER!
You: THERE ARE XENOS AT 19F!
You: A FULL COMPANY OF THEM!
Stranger: Spam war
Stranger: Djd
You: WE MUST MOVE WITH THE SPEED OF THE EMPEROR!
Stranger: Sjjs
Stranger: Dhjd
Stranger: Jdjdjd
Stranger: Kdjjdj
Stranger: Dkjsj
You: THIS IS POINTLESS DRIVEL YOU ARE SPOUTING
Stranger: Sjjdjdjd
Stranger: Hshjsjshd
Stranger: Jxkdksk
Stranger: Hshdjsjd
You: CLEARLY, THE TAINT OF NURGLE IS RESPONSIBLE
Stranger: Jdkdk
Stranger: Skksjsj
Stranger: Jsnsjjd
You: YOU SHALL BE PURGED WITH FIRE!

Brothers, Khorne's forces are acting in conjunction with Nurgle's! The situation worsens!

we need a drawfag for the stand at 19F.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: COME BATTLE BROTHER
You: WE ARE NEEDED AT 19F
You: THE XENOS ARE ATTACKING
Stranger: lick my pussy
You: WE MUST STRIKE IN THE NAME OF THE EMPEROR
You: ARE YOU MAD WOMAN? THERE ARE XENOS EVERYWHERE.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

BROTHERS, THESE PEOPLE HAVE NO SENSE OF URGENCY!

>>19414011
DO YOU NOT SEE BROTHER? THIS PLANET HAS FALLEN TO THE DARK GODS! IF WE DO NOT PROTECT THE LAST BASTION OF IMPERIAL RULE ON THIS PLANET WE SHALL FAIL!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hey asl
You: BATTLE BROTHER
You: THIS IS NO TIME FOR CHIT CHAT
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

CURSE THESE FOOLS!

>>19413836

>WONDROUS NEWS BROTHERS! THERE IS A SISTER OF BATTLE SQUAD AT 18 F! THEY SHALL ASSIST US AND AFTER THE BATTLE THEY SHALL SHOW US THEIR MAMMARY GLANDS!

This line just redeemed omegle.

Stranger: hi
Stranger: what is that
You: GREETINGS BATTLE BROTHER
Stranger: im 49
Stranger: no wait
Stranger: 54
Stranger: is that healthy
You: I CARE NOT FOR YOUR AGE
Stranger: what is this
Stranger: is this a signal
You: ONLY THAT YOU ARE WILLING TO FIGHT AND DIE FOR THE EMPEROR
Stranger: wow im actually creeped. foooooooooo
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

BROTHERS I AM AFRAID THIS PLANET HAS FALLEN.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: asl
You: ARE YOU UNCLEAN?
Stranger: now poppin fresh out the shower
You: AHA! AN UNTAINTED
You: HOW LUCKY I AM.
You: COME MY BROTHER
You: WE ARE NEEDED AT 19F
You: THE XENOS ARE ATTACKING.
Stranger: i am edward colln
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

BROTHERS, IT SEEMS OUR ENEMY IS LED BY A CREATURE KNOWN AS EDWARD COLLN.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: GREETINGS BATTLE BROTHER
Stranger: hi
You: ARE YOU HERE FOR THE ASSAULT? XENOS ARE ATTACKING GRID 19 F!
You: WE MUST PRUGE THE XENO SCUM IN THE NAME OF THE EMPEROR!
Stranger: ı am m
You: WELCOME BROTHER!
Stranger: asl?
You: NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR IDLE TALK! WE MUST ASSAULT THE XENO AT 19 F!
You: IN THE NAME OF OUR BELOVED EMPEROR, ANSWER ME! ARE YOU HERE TO HELP IN THE ASSAULT OF THE XENOS?!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

BROTHERS, I BELIEVE OUR POSITION HAS BEEN BREACHED! WE MUST FALL BACK TO 17F AND PREPARE A COUNTER ASSAULT!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: QUICKLY BATTLE BROTHER
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I FEAR MY COMMUNICATION DEVICE HAS BEEN DAMAGED.

it's threads like these that make me love /tg/

You: BATTLE BROTHER!
Stranger: Comrade! Point to our foes and I will see them run asunder!
You: THE ENEMY ASSEMBLE AT 19F!
You: SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH MY VOX, I AM ONLY CAPABLE OF YELLING
Stranger: I was wrong! A loyal citizen who must have really been a traitor exclaimed it was actually 45 M!
You: 45 M!? THATS WAY TOO FAR OUT THERE FOR A SITE OF ATTACK
Stranger: Agreed brother, but let us not take chances! Initiate protocol for...EXTERMINATUS
You: WE MUST TRY AND EVACUATE AS MANY LOYAL CITIZENS BEFORE THE BATTLE BARGE "OMEGLE" STRIKES THIS HERESY DOWN!
Stranger: Of course! Initiate CHOKLET REHN
You: HOW WILL I SAVE THE CITIZENS IF THEY KEEP CROSSING THE STREET!?
Stranger: If the streets run red with xeno blood, then they would need boats, which do not exist in the 41st Millenium!
You: AH YES, I REMEMBER BOATS BEING OUTLAWED WHEN DORN BROKE THAT WOODEN DINGY
You: 32 THOUSAND GAURDSMEN DIED THAT DAY
Stranger: At least it was better than when our Spiritual Leige in his wisdom accidentally 9.3 million Imperial Citizens
You: I REMEMBER IT CLEARLY, THE LOCAL CITIZENS OF COK'OLA WHERE A WILD BUNCH, THEY WANTED TO KNOW HOW MANY COULD WORSHIP OUR SPIRITUAL LEADER AT ONCE
You: IT WAS ALL OF THEM, APPARENTLY
Stranger: Brother...I have a confession.
You: SPEAK WELL BROTHER, YOU ARE IN GOOD COMPANY
Stranger: I...I...am Alpharius!!!
You: WHAT
You: THATS IMPOSSIBLE
You: I AM ALPHARIUS
Stranger: Then, who was vox?
You: IT WAS THE EMPEROR
You: WHO'S BEEN ON THE HOLY THRONE FOR YEARS

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: Heyo
You: BATTLE BROTHER!
Stranger: GREETINGS
You: JOIN ME, WE MUST ASSAULT THE POSITION OF 19F!
You: THE FORCES OF THE DARK GODS ARE CONVERGING THERE!
Stranger: 19F? I THOUGHT THE OBJECTIVE WAS 17H?
You: WELL
You: FUCK
Stranger: WAIT, HERE'S ASMODEUS ON THE VOX, MAYBE HE KNOWS
Stranger: ...
Stranger: HE SAYS IT'S 48N
You: THATS NOT EVEN ON THE SAME PLANET IS IT
You: AW HELL
Stranger: MAYBE WE WENT OFF COURSE?
Stranger: BY A FEW PLANETS?
You: BY THE EMPORER
You: THIS MUST BE TZEENTCH'S WORK!
Stranger: DAMN THOSE CHAOS GODS
Stranger: WE SHALL SMITE THEM!
Stranger: AS SOON AS WE CAN FIND THEM, ANYWAYS.
You: WE SHALL SMITE THEM WITH OUR HUGE SWORDS
You: AND FISTS
You: WHICH ARE ALSO HUGE
Stranger: AND DON'T FORGET GUNS
Stranger: WHICH ARE HUGE
Stranger: AND I GUESS THE DREADNAUGHTS ARE PRETTY BIG
Stranger: SO THERES THEM
You: YES INDEED OUR GLORIOUS VETERAN BROTHERS ARE QUITE HUGE
Stranger: I FIND THEM VERY GRUMPY ON MOST OCCASIONS AS WELL
You: YES, THEIR ATTITUDE CAN BE RATHER DISAGREEABLE
Stranger: INDEED
Stranger: NOW ENOUGH TALK, WE MUST BOARD OUR SHIP AND FIND THE ENEMIES OF THE EMPEROR!
Stranger: ...
You: DUDE WHERE'S MY SHIP?
Stranger: I AM...
Stranger: UNSURE, BATTLE BROTHER
You: TZEENTCH'S TREACHERY CONFOUNDS US YET AGAIN!
Stranger: WAIT...

Stranger: ON BOARD THE FLAGSHIP, THERE WAS A VISITING CHAPTER OF BLOOD RAVENS, WAS THERE NOT?
You: YES, WHAT ARE YOU INSINUATING?
Stranger: I BELIEVE THEY GIFTED OUR SHIP.
Stranger: AS WELL AS OUR NAVIGATING PSYKERS.
Stranger: AND APPARENTLY MY LEFT BOOT.
You: IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOUR HUGE BOOT, BROTHER?
Stranger: INDEED. IT APPEARS TO BE RED, AND COVERED IN PURITY SEALS, WHEN IT WAS NOT BEFORE.
You: THIS IS GRAVE NEWS INDEED, WHAT DO YOU MADE OF THIS?
Stranger: I BELIEVE THEY HAVE TAKEN OUR THINGS, AS THESE SO CALLED 'GIFTS', AND CLAIMED THEM AS THEIR OWN
Stranger: AS WELL AS ABANDONING US ON THIS PLANET
You: THIEVING MAGPIES!
Stranger: THE MAGPIES!
Stranger: WARP DAMN THEM
Stranger: QUICKLY, AWAY, BATTLE BROTHER, WE MUST FIND TRANSPORTATION
You: WE MUST TAKE THE BATTLE BARGE, THE LITANY OF LITANY'S LITANY!
Stranger: INDEED! I WILL HEAD NORTH, YOU HEAD SOUTH
Stranger: FOR THE LITANY OF LITANY'S LITANY!
Stranger: YYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

You: BATTLE BROTHER! PREPARE FOR THE MANEUVER STEEL REHN! WE MUST BE READY FOR MULTIPLE SIMHULTANEOUS DEFENSIVE DEEP STRIKES AT 19F!
Stranger: Sup homie fo shIzzle
You: BROTHER! WE MUST STRIKE WITH HASTE! XENOS AND CHAOS FORCES HAVE LAUNCHED AN INCURSION INTO REALSPACE!
Stranger: Umm u kinda scare me
You: THERE IS NO TIME TO BE SCARED! RECITE THE LITANIES OF COURAGE AND BE STRONG WITH YOUR FAITH IN THE EMPEROR AS WE PURGE HIS ENEMIES FROM EXISTENCE!
Stranger: Umm okay...
You: NOW! TO ME BROTHER! WE MUST MEET UP WITH THE SISTERS OF BATTLE, THE ANGRY MARINES, THE DARK ANGELS, AND SEVERAL REGIMENTS OF GUARDSMEN AS WE STRIKE AGAINST KHORNE AND NURGLE'S CHAMPIONS!
You: BATTLE BROTHER! ARE YOU THERE?
You: WE MUST MOVE OUT! THE SITUATION DETERIORATES BY THE MINUTE!
Stranger: Move out!
You: THAT'S THE SPIRIT BROTHER! REJOICE IN THE GLORY OF COMBAT WITH THE ENEMIES OF MAN!
Stranger: I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU BRETHREN! r u a ganer
Stranger: Gamer
You: THERE ARE NO GAMES TO BE PLAYED HERE! FOUL XENOS AND THOSE WHO HAVE REJECTED THE MOST BENEFICIAL EMPEROR OF MAN WORK TO SLAUGHTER HIS SUBJECTS!
Stranger: I am a girl by the way
Stranger: I love u
You: A SISTER OF BATTLE THEN! GOOD! YOU MUST REINFORCE YOUR OWN AT THE RALLY POINT!
Stranger: R u mike
You: I AM WAR INCARNATE!
Stranger: Were u in like a legit war
You: THERE IS NO PEACE AMONGST THE STARS. NO FORGIVENESS. NO RESPITE. NO MERCY. ONLY WAR!
Stranger: Do u like one direction?
You: THE ENEMY ATTACKS FROM ALL SIDES! REPORTS INDICATE THEY HAVE BREACHED OUR POSITION AT 19F! WE MUST FALL BACK!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
We are taking losses brothers! We must launch our counterattack at once!

You: BATTLE BROTHER!
Stranger: hi
You: IT APPEARS THAT THE CHAOS SPAWN ARE ASSAULTING THE POSITION OF 48N!
Stranger: its my birthday tomorrow and im in a really bad mood
You: WE MUST HEAD THERE AT ONCE!
Stranger: i want to bitch to you about it
You: BROTHER, NOW IS NO TIME FOR SADNESS! WE WILL REVEL IN THE GLORY OF BATTLE, AND SERVING THE EMPEROR!
Stranger: merr
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: heyy
Stranger: asl?
You: Good day sir would you like to join me on dwarf quest?
Stranger: would love to
You: Ok you are a dwarf what is your name?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Awwww no fun

You: QUICKLY BATTLE BROTHER
You: WE MUST FALL BACK TO 17F
You: WE NEED TO REGROUP
You: DO YOU HAVE ANY WEAPONS?
Stranger: So weel march day and night
You: YES
You: UNTILL THE XENO ARE DEAD.
Stranger: by the big cooling tower
You: BATTLE BROTHER, IT SEEMS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DO WHAT IS NEEDED.
You: WHAT?
You: THERE ARE NO COOLING TOWERS.
You: DO YOU REQUIRE MEDICAL AID, BATTLE BROTHER?
Stranger: they have the plant but we have the power
You: OH GODS! YOU MEAN THEY'VE TAKEN CONTROL OF A PLANT AS WELL?
You: WE MUST CLEANSE THIS PLANT AT ONCE!
You: FOR THE EMPEROR!


Brothers, it seems the xeno scum have taken over a plant! We must take it back FOR THE EMPEROR!

You: CLEAVE AND SMITE!

Stranger: Lazarus Vetrinki, Gentlemen Adventurer, how may i serve you?

You: ASSIST ME IN THE CLEAVING AND SMITING OF THE ENEMIES OF THE EMPEROR, GLORIOUS BE HIS WORKS!

Stranger: Ahh bit of a kerfuffle with the opposing side, eh? I do appreciate a good war one in a while, gets the blood pumping.

You: APOLOGIES CITIZEN, I MUST GO

You: MY PEOPLE NEED ME

Stranger: Hello
You: BATTLE BROTHER
You: OUR NEW MEETING POINT IS 17F
Stranger: What? :0
You: THUNDERHAWKS SHALL ARRIVE WITHIN THE HOUR TO GET US TO SAFETY
Stranger: Um....
You: DO NOT FALTER BROTHER! THE ENEMY SHALL ATTEMPT TO ASSAULT US EVEN AS WE LEAVE
Stranger: Bye!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

HE IS A MAN OF FEW WORDS! HOPEFULLY HE SHALL MAKE THE LANDING ZONE!

You: GOOD AFTERNOON! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
Stranger: m19
Stranger: no im not the blood god u have picken up the wrong adress

Best spelling ever!

Stranger: ok
You: OUTSTANDING LET US ADVANCE ON THE HERETICS
Stranger: do have account in skype ??
You: I NETWORK SOLELY THROUGH VOX CHANNELS
Stranger: miami or okclahoma
Stranger: ???
Stranger: miami or boston
You: SUBSECTOR AURELIA YOU WILL NEED A WARP RELAY BROTHER WHY ARE YOU SO FAR OUT OF POSITIOPN
Stranger: ???
Stranger: I love you
You: AND I YOU
Stranger: bye
You: YOU CANNOT ABANDON THE FIGHT
Stranger: ok
You: A CONTINGENT OF SISTERS IS PINNED AT 19F AND REQUIRE OUR HOLY INTERVENTION

Brothers the heretics have infiltrated sector miami!

You: WHERE ARE THE XENO SCUM, BATTLE BROTHER?
Stranger: FOR THE EMPEROOORRRR
You: YES!
You: WHERE DOES THE EMPEROR REQUIRE US?
You: LAST I HEARD WE WHERE TO FALL BACK TO 17F
You: HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY NEW ORDERS?
Stranger: IVE HEARD ,BROTHER, WE HAVE TO FIND GIRLS AND LIVE A NORMAL LIFE
You: THIS IS THE TALK OF THE TAINTED!
You: YOU MUST BE PURGED!
You: BURN BEFORE THE HAND OF THE EMPEROR!


BROTHERS, IT SEEMS THAT CHAOS HAS MADE ITS WAY INTO OUR RANKS! WE MUST PURGE THE TAINT!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: m 22 w kik
You: GREETINGS BROTHER
You: ARE YOU LOYAL TO THE FALSE EMPEROR?
You: OR WILL YOU BEND KNEE TO KNORNE AND ADD SKULLS TO HIS THRONE WITH ME?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: BATTLE BROTHER!
You: COME, WE MUST DEFEND THE POSITION OF 17F
Stranger: YES
Stranger: MOBILISE EVERYTHING
You: OUR FORCES AT 19F HAVE BEEN ROUTED, WE MUST REGROUP
Stranger: WHAT ARE WE FACING?
You: KHORNATE BERZERKERS, HERETICS, XENOS, IT SEEMS THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE IS AGAINST US
Stranger: A TARGET RICH ENVIRONMENT THEN
Stranger: I WOULD HAVE IT NO OTHER WAY
You: YES, BATTLE BROTHER! THAT IS THE SPIRIT! NOW LET US MARCH, AND CRUSH THE ENEMIES OF THE EMPEROR BENEATH OUR HUGE FEET!
Stranger: OH FUCK TYRANIDS
You: NOT THE TYRANIDS! THEY HAVE ALREADY ATTEMPTED TO EAT MY HUGE FACE ONCE TODAY!
Stranger: WAIT WHAT IS THIS
Stranger: BY THE EMPEROR
Stranger: THE TYRANIDS HAVE ORKS
Stranger: ON THEIR BACKS
Stranger: THIS IS SOME BULLSHIT RIGHT HERE
You: INDEED BROTHER, THIS IS BULLSHIT!
Stranger: WHO THE FUCK IS WRITING THIS BATTLE?

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi asl?
You: The old scrolls of the city of Karm'esh tells me you are a willing young diciple!
Stranger: Im a willing young diciple! Shut! That was my secret D:
You: Tell me this is so, so my visions is not blurred of the evil from the north!
You: Great!
You: I've got a vision, last moon..
Stranger: Yeah tell me
You: It was you, young one.. Ridding this world of evil!
You: Slaying the ancient Caat'uh
You: And devouring it's evil withing thy self!
Stranger: Yeah it think i can do it!
You: That is great! Do you have your wand and cloak with you this day?
Stranger: Yes i always carry with me
You: Great! Here take this scroll to the north! *Hand's you an old rather musky scroll*
You: Take this to old man Craggy, in the caves of eternal shame!
Stranger: *i taake it* ok ill go but is it dangerous?
You: Oh yes, quite much so.. Here take Lumpy, my helper and faithfull half-ogre companion for many years..
You: He is not quite there in the head, but he packs a mean swing!
Stranger: Sorry i gotta go but this was fun its like wirld of wardcraft lol i hope ill see you again
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hello
You: BROTHER WHAT SI YORU POSITION WE ARE TO HEAD TO RALLY POINT 17F
Stranger: Where do you come from?
Stranger: M or F?
You: FROM HOLY MACRAGGE FOR I AM THE EMPORERS FINEST
You: WHAT SI THIS TALK OF M OUR RALLY POINT IS 17F
Stranger: I'm from China
Stranger: M
Stranger: Sorry, I don't understand your grammar.
You: BY THE EMPEROR A CITIZEN OF HOLY TERRA
You: COME MY LORD WE MUST EVACUATE, THUNDERHAWKS ARE INBOUND
Stranger: what
You: THERE IS NO TIME FOR INDECISION HOLD FAST
You: WE MUST REACH THE EXTRACTION POINT LAST VOX TELLS OF XENOS INVASION AT 19F
You: RESPOND MY LORD
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

WE HAVE LOST HIM BROTHERS, I WILL CONTINUE ON TO 19F

You and the stranger both like /tg/.
You: BATTLE BROTHER!
Stranger: Oh, uh, hey there, Astartes
You: YES, THAT IS WHAT I AM
Stranger: Don't mind me, I'm just a guarsdmen.
You: GLORIOUS, THE LIFE OF A GUARDSMEN IS ONE WELL SPENT
Stranger: I mean, you're probably doing a bunch more important things than I am.
You: SERVICE OF THE EMPEROR IS GREAT IN ALL WAYS
Stranger: I, ah, yeah I guess.
Stranger: So, uh, how's it going with you?
Stranger: Uh, battle brother.
You: GOOD
You: AND YOU, GUARDSMEN!?
Stranger: I'm doing okay, I guess. I mean, all my friends are dead because of the cultists and various chaos guys, but uh...
Stranger: Yeah, I'm okay.
You: WOULD YOU....
You: WOULD YOU LIKE A HUG?
Stranger: They did tell me there were benefits to running the autocannons from the back lines...
You: A HUGE HUG WITH MY HUGE ARMS?
Stranger: That, uh...
Stranger: That would probably kill me
Stranger: But thanks for the offer.
You: C'MERE GLORIOUS WARRIOR OF THE EMPEROR
You: I'M A HUG THE WAR OUT OF YOU
Stranger: No, wait, ohemPEROR AAAAAAAAAAGGHHGHGHGGH
Stranger: *crunch*
You: EMPERORS LOVE BE UPON YOU!
Stranger: *SQUISH*
You: OH MY, YOU SEEM TO HAVE SPROUT A CANCEROUS TUMOUR IN YOUR PANTS
You: I SHALL INVESTIGATE
You: WITH MY HUGE HANDS
Stranger: please
Stranger: im dying
Stranger: you broke my spine
You: OH!, IT MOVES!
You: WHAT IS THIS WHITE STUFF!?
Stranger: why are you in my pants
Stranger: what are you doing
Stranger: get a doctor
Stranger: or an apothecary
You: IS IT POSION!?
Stranger: or whatever
You: NURGLES ROT!
You: I MUST SUCK THE TAINT OUT!
You: WITH MY HUGE MOUTH
Stranger: please just kill me now
Stranger: oh god
You: OH GUARDSMEN-SAMA
You: I AM OVERWHELMED BY YOUR LOYALTY
Stranger: let me die already
Stranger: you...
Stranger: heretic
You: OH GUARDSMEN-KUN
You: TALK DIRTY TO ME MORE
You: OH EMPERORS THRONE

>>19414314
Stranger: wat
Stranger: oh god
Stranger: youre a choas marine
Stranger: or whatever
Stranger: arent you
You: OH BABY GIRL, STICK THE EMPEROR'S LOVE IN MY ANUS
You: WHICH IS HUGE
Stranger: wat
Stranger: im paralyzed
Stranger: and you want to get laid
Stranger: i dont even
You: OH!? YOU WANT ME TO BE ON TOP!?
You: I DON"T KNOW, IT's MY FIRST TIME
Stranger: put my laspistol in my hand so i can shoot myself already
You: C-C-CALL ME KENPACHI RAMA-SAMA PLEASE!
Stranger: you are probably tainted by the warp or some shit
Stranger: please
Stranger: my gun
You: OH! WHAT'RE WE GONNA DO WITH THE LASPISTOL?
You: =Pof
Stranger: uh
Stranger: sex things
Stranger: just give it to me
You: HERE YOU GO GUARDSMEN-SAMA
Stranger: oh thank the emperor
Stranger: *BLAM*
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

REST WELL, YOUNG PRINCE.

Stranger: 17 Female Horny(;
You: EVEN IN DEATH I STILL SERVE
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I HAVE RESISTED THE TEMPTATIONS OF SLAANESH, BROTHAHS. NONE CAN WITHSTAND OUR FAITH.

Talk to strangers!
Select Language▼
23,517 strangers online

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You and the stranger both like /tg/.

You: Lazarus Vetrinki, Gentlemen Adventurer, at your service.

Stranger: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

You: I like the cut of your jib, do you valet?

Stranger: ILL VALET YOUR SKULL!

Stranger: KILL MAIM BUR!

Stranger: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

Stranger: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Strange Chap

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You and the stranger both like /tg/.
Stranger: Well, well, well
Stranger: if it isn't my old rival
Stranger: Billy the Butcher
You: And my oldest foe, Stranger McGranger the Mangler.
You: You're wanted for forty-five thousand counts of having a terrible rhyming name.
Stranger: You can't stop my bad rhymes you fool
i'm going to the pool
You: They're simply not cool! You need to get rhymes so fresh that they make ladies drool.
You: You're facing TG-MC, no beats more fresh, dropping rhymes on terrible spells that be rendin' flesh.
Stranger: I surrender
Stranger: i'm not rapper
Stranger: no*
You: Snap, I was just trying to work up a rhyme for lich.
You: I'm sure you'll get me next time on the dance battle, my moonwalk is terrible.
Stranger: yes
Stranger: but there isn't going to be a next time
Stranger: DRAW FOOL
You: SNAP
Stranger: *bang*
You: Tell /tg/ *cough cough* their most beloved urban poet has
You: ack
You: *dies*
Stranger: This is the day i killed DJ Phylactery
Stranger: Why won't this stop raining
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

File: 1339209933666.png-(136 KB, 428x510, 1326275577452.png)

>>19414314

Oh god my sides

>>19414349
CITIZEN, I COMMUNICATED WITH YOU EARLIER, HOW DID THE BATTLE GO?

rolled 28 = 28

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: CAT
Stranger: I AM CAT
You: what up?
Stranger: DOING CAT STUFF
Stranger: LICKING MYSELF
Stranger: NAP TIME.
Stranger: *naps*
You: dude I have been playing with a laxer pointer for the last 2 hours
Stranger: HOLY SHIT
You: so i feel you
Stranger: I LOVE THAT LITTLE LIGHT
Stranger: WHERE IS IT?
Stranger: GOTTA CATCH IT
You: yea it moves so fast
Stranger: TOO FAST
Stranger: I CAN NOT CATCH IT
Stranger: BRB GOTTA USE THE LITTER BOX
You: then i had some catnip and in my dreams i totaly got it
Stranger: OMG I LOVE CATNIP
Stranger: IM A TOTAL ADDICT
Stranger IT MAKES ME A WILD KITTY
You: same bro same
Stranger: SO WHATS UP BROSKI?
You: nm board as fuck
Stranger: YOU JUST TOOK A BITE OF MY COOKIE
You: sorry i love cookies
Stranger: I DEMAND A NEW COOKIE
You: you want some of my milk?
Stranger: THIS ONE HAS YOUR HUMAN GERMS
Stranger: NO
Stranger: I DON'T NEED HUMAN GERMIES
You: it cool
Stranger: NO
Stranger: PEOPLE DO NOT NEED TO BE EMBARASSED BY A PARTICULAR SITUATION
Stranger: PRIME LENDING
You: i gtg peace out keep it reel in the hood cat
Stranger: THEY NEED TO GIVE ME CATNIP MONEY
Stranger: LATER G

please tell me someone is screen capping this.

You: GREETINGS, FAIR CITIZEN OF THE IMPERIUM!

Stranger: o.o

You: ARE YOU READY TO SLAY HERETICS AND XENOS ON THIS LOVELY DAY?

Stranger: oh yeah

You: ONWARD, TO POSITION 19F! READY YOUR LASGUN AND FLAMER, NOBLE GUARDSMEN! ONWARD...TO GLORY!

Stranger: lets go

You: WE ARE THE BASTIONS OF HUMANITY, THE SHIELD AGAINST THE TERROR, THE SWORD THAT CLEAVES THROUGH CHAOS!

Stranger: YEAAAH

Stranger: WE ARE THE BESTS

You: AGREED BROTHER! THE FOUL ORKS, THE TREACHEROUS ELDAR, THE MISGUIDED TAU, THE HERETICS OF THE WARP, THE RAVENOUS TYRANIDS: ALL WILL BURN BEFORE THE MIGHT OF THE IMPERIUM!

Stranger: YO BRO

You: WHAT OF MY WISDOM DO YOU DESIRE, COMRADE?

Stranger: i dont know

Stranger: can say to me we are talking about?

You: SEARCH INSIDE YOURSELF, GUARDSMAN. THE LIGHT OF THE EMPRAH WILL ILLUMINATE WHAT YOUR ARE SEARCHING FOR.

Stranger: yes or not

Stranger: to be or not to be

You: SUCH A QUESTION IS IRRELEVANT, FOR EVEN IN DEATH DO WE STILL SERVE.

Stranger: sure

You: DO YOU DOUBT ME? A CHAPLAIN OF THE BLOOD ANGELS? HERESY!

Stranger: are you crazy

Brothers, traitor guardsmen dwell in our ranks!

>>19414370
Gave em a taste of the steel, aint that right boys?

You: BATTLE BROTHER!
Stranger: ;?
You: FOUL XENOS AND HORRIBLE TRAITORS HAVE TAKEN 19F! WILL YOU STAND WITH ME BROTHER?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

We are losing support! We must put an Astropathic message to all available units!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You and the stranger both like tg.
You: BATTLE BROTHER!
Stranger: GREETINGS
Stranger: ARE YOU A WORSHIPPER OF THE FALSE EMPEROR?
Stranger: IF SO, I HAVE THIS PHAMPLET OUTLINING WHY HE IS A DICK AND WHY CHAOS IS AWESOME
You: FALSE EMPEROR? WHAT HERESY IS THIS?
Stranger: I SEE
You: THIS IS THE TAINT OF CHAOS!
You: WE MUST PURGE
You: EVERYTHING
Stranger: YOU ARE A LOYAL ASTARTES
Stranger: WELL I CAN SWEETEN THE DEAL WITH A FEW DEAMONETTES, IF YOU LIKE
You: WE ARE HERE, AND IT IS NOW THAT WE PERFORM OUR TASK. IN FEALTY TO THE GOD EMPEROR, OUR UNDYING LORD, I DECLARE EXTERMINATUS UPON THIS WORLD. I HEREBY SIGN THE DEATH WARRANT OF AN ENTIRE WORLD, AND CONSIGN A BILLION SOULS TO OBLIVION. MAY IMPERIAL JUSTICE ACCOUNT IN ALL BALANCE. THE EMPEROR PROTECTS.
Stranger: SEE, THAT KIND OF SHIT IS WHY WE'RE AGAINST THE FALSE EMPEROR
Stranger: YOU GO AROUND KILLING A BUNCH OF PEOPLE BECAUSE A GUY LIKE ME SHOWS UP IN A BAR SOMEHWERE AND GETS DRUNK
Stranger: SURE, THE CHAOS GODS DICK OVER SOME PLANETS, BUT AT LEAST WE DON'T BLOW THEM UP ENTIRELY
Stranger: THEY'RE STILL LIVEABLE, MORE OR LESS
You: GREAT SACRIFICES MUST BE MADE TO QUELL THE SPREAD OF YOUR HERESY
Stranger: YEAH, BUT LIKE, THERES SOME EMPEROR LOVING DUDE JUST TAKING A SHIT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PLANET, AND YOURE GOING TO GO AND KILL HIM TOO?
Stranger: HE PROBABLY DOESNT EVEN KNOW I EXIST
Stranger: THAT'S TECHNICALLY PRETTY HERETICAL, KILLING EMPEROR LOVING DUDES, RIGHT?
Stranger: SO YOU'RE PRETTY MUCH LIKE ME ANYWAYS
You: ARE YOU SAYING THAT I AM TAINTED BY CHAOS?
Stranger: NO
Stranger: BUT
Stranger: YOU COULD B
Stranger: I MEAN, YOURE HALFWAY THERE

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: GREETINGS BROTHER.
You: ANSWER ME SUCCINCTLY OR BY FIRE BE PURGED.
You: ARE YOU A SERVANT OF THE FALSE EMPEROR?
Stranger: im not a brother D:
Stranger: im a lady
You: SISTER, MY QUESTION STANDS.
You: DO YOU SERVE THE CORPSE-GOD?
Stranger: no
You: THEN WILL YOU BEND YOUR KNEE TO KHORNE ON THIS DAY?
You: JOIN ME, AND TOGETHER WE MAY ADD MANY SKULLS TO HIS THRONE!
Stranger: what are you talking about lol
You: HARLOT OF THE FALSE EMPEROR!
You: THOSE LOYAL TO THE THE IMPERIUM ARE CONVENING ON GRID 19 F.
You: BERZERKERZ OF KHORNE ARE PREPARING AN AMBUSH, AND WILL SLAUGHTER MANY IN THE NAME OF THE BLOOD GOD!
You: SO I ASK AGAIN...
You: WILL YOU KNEEL BEFORE MIGHTY KHORNE AND BATHE HIS THRONE IN THE BLOOD OF THE EMPIRE?!
Stranger: yes
You: YES!
You: GO FORTH, SISTER IN KHORNE! SLAY THE LOYALIST SCUM AND COLLECT MANY SKULLS! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
You have disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: I am destruction incarnate!
You: I SHALL EAT THE FLESH FROM YOUR LIVING BODY
You: AND RELISH IN YOUR PAIN.
Stranger: Oh really? I'm a lesbian from China an a zombie slayer. Good luck bro.
You: DESPAIR, FOR I AM THE END OF DAYS!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


ANOTHER VICTIM FALLS BEFORE ME!

>>19414495
Stranger: KILLING TEAMMATES AND SHIT
You: THERE IS NO GREY BETWEEN THE WHITE OF PURITY AND THE BLACK OF CHAOS
You: I MUST BE PURGED!
Stranger: WAIT, MAN, DON'T DO THAT
Stranger: JUST READ THIS PAMPHLET
Stranger: IT'LL MAKE M ORE SENSE
Stranger: YOU DON'T NEED TO PURGE STUFF
Stranger: YOU CAN EVEN PICK BETWEEN ONE OF FOUR GODS, YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE THE ONE
Stranger: IT'S LIKE DIFFERENT COLORS TOO
You: ...
You: DIFFERENT COLORS YOU SAY?
Stranger: YES
Stranger: THERE ARE FOUR MAIN ONES
Stranger: AND THEN SOME OTHER ONES
Stranger: IT'S LIKE
Stranger: RED, GREEN, PURPLE, AND BLUE.
Stranger: AND THERE'S SOME YELLOWS AND ORANGES
Stranger: AND PINK
You: I HAVE ALWAYS ENJOYED THE COLORS OF GREEN
You: PURPLE IS BEAUTIFUL AS WELL
You: MAYBE CHAOS ISN'T SO BAD
You: NOW TAKE YOUR DAILY DOSE
Stranger: HEY, THEN GO WITH NURGLE
Stranger: HE'S GOT GREEN, AND PURPLE TOO
Stranger: I FOLLOW HIM AS WELL, HE'S PRETTY CHILL\
You: WHAT NO THIS IS HERESY I MUST DEFEND MY BROTHERS AND SLAY XENOS AND SERVE THE EMPEROR
Stranger: OH BOY, HERE WE GO AGAIN
You: FUCKIN XENOOOOOOOOS
Stranger: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Stranger: OH SHIT
Stranger: LEMME JUST
Stranger: WARP THE FUCK OUTTA HERE
Stranger: HAHAHAH
Stranger: LOSER

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You and the stranger both like /tg/.
Stranger: 357/m/Comorragh
You: 400/unknowable/Innsmouth
Stranger: Looking for hot young, lesser race females to dominate.
You: how do u feel about spreading your seed over a bed of eggs i laid on the ocean floor
You: they're near a thermal vent
You: hot as fuck
Stranger: Present me your genitals, for I am an experienced judge in such matters.
You: if i had to represent them in ascii art
You: ==^^^VV///////////////////
You: would be the best i can do
You: when i try to get a closer look myself i just start vomiting
You: all over 'em
You: i can't ascii that part though
You have disconnected.

Stranger was listed as typing for like ten minutes, I think I went too far that time.

File: 1339210780673.jpg-(20 KB, 320x279, 1339137627184.jpg)

You: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You and the stranger both like /tg/.

You: Lazarus Vetrinki, Gentlemen Adventurer, at your service.

Stranger: Gentleness is for the weak.

Stranger: Where are the Roughmen?

Stranger: Or whatever the opposite of a gentleman is?

You: Dapperness is a double edge sword, would you like to test my prowess in the fisticuffs

You: *in the art of fisticuffs

Stranger: If you weren't a gentleman, you'd be allowed to like kick people in the crotch or something

You: I don't fight for validation over the weak, i fight honor, glory, and acquisitions of the fairer sex

Stranger: The hermaphrodites?

You: We don't talk about the time the fleet stopped in Thailand

Stranger: Yeah.

Stranger: What happens in Bangkok, stays there.

Stranger: Hell, even Bangkok's name is sorta obscene sounding.

You: Agreed plebian. Would you assist me in lighting my pipe perhaps?

Stranger: Smokers are jokers.

You: Ever man to his own opinion, but i find it clears the head.

You: *every

You have disconnected.

Siam, Dark and Confusing days those were.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: BATTLE BROTHER!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: This is for Narnia!
You: NARNIA? WHERE IS THIS PLANET BROTHER? I HAVE NOT HEARD OF SUCH A PLANET BELONGING TO OUR IMPERIUM!
Stranger: Its just beyond the hills of Carnessus
You: IS THIS NEAR 19F BROTHER? OUR FORCES HAVE TAKEN HEAVY LOSSES DEFENDING THE LOYAL SUBJECTS OF THE EMPEROR!
Stranger: I am sparta and I think I am going to star wars
You: WE REQUIRE REINFORCEMENTS! GUARDSMEN HAVE BEEN BROKEN! SISTERS OF BATTLE HAVE BLED! ANGRY MARINES HAVE RUN OUT OF INSULTS!
Stranger: Call in the jedi's ! Grab yoda
You: WILL THIS YODA BE ABLE TO STAND BEFORE THE ENEMY?
Stranger: He is the highest of all rankings in or imperium
You: HERESY! NONE ARE ABOVE THE GLORIOUS GOD-EMPEROR OF MANKIND!
You: FEAR ME HERETIC, FOR I AM THE EMPEROR'S WILL MADE MANIFEST! YOU WILL FALL BEFORE ME!
Stranger: Ok I cant keep up with this anymore haha
You: BY THE EMPEROR, GUIDE MY BLOW!
Stranger: okk bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Emperor be praised! But we must remain vigilant brothers!

Stranger: if happy ever after did exist
You: THERE IS NO HAPPY EVER AFTER.
You: DESPAIR, WEAKLING.
You: FOR I AM THE END OF DAYS.
Stranger: WOW YOUR NOT A BEILIEVER GO FLUSH YOURSELF IN A TOILET, IM KDDING DONT DO IT.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

This planet grows more moronic by the minute!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You and the stranger both like /tg/.
Stranger: GUARDSMEN
Stranger: REPORT IN
You: AYE
Stranger: TROOPER RAMIREZ, WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE EMPEROR ARE YOU DOING? A PLASMA GUN FIRES THE OTHER DIRECTION.
You: Trooper? You have me confused for a common soldier Commander? I am a ranked Commissar.
Stranger: COMMISSAR RAMIREZ, STOP DRESSING LIKE THE RANK AND FILE.
Stranger: I ALSO SUPPOSE THAT I SHOULD DRESS AS MY STATION TOO.
Stranger: A LORD COMMISSAR SHOULD HAVE A BIGGER HAT.
Stranger: ANYWAY
Stranger: RAMIREZ
Stranger: WE'RE RETAKING BURGER EMPEROR
Stranger: THE SPACE RUSSIANS ARE ATTACKING
You: WE HAVE TO DEFEND THE BURGER EMPEROR
You: I'LL DO EVERYTHING
Stranger: QUICK RAMIREZ, TAKE OUT THAT TITAN WITH OUR FISTS.
You: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH
Stranger: GOOD WORK
You: FOR THE EMPEROR
Stranger: USE YOUR LASER DESIGNATOR TO PINPOIT LOCATIONS FOR OUR BANEBLADES TO DEEP STRIKE THE ENEMY.
Stranger: OUR BANEBLEDS ARE STATIONED IN SPESS, WHERE MOST OF OUR FORCES ARE HIDING IN SECRET.
You: THE SPACE RUSSIANS ARE FIRING FROM THE IMPERIAL DINER ACROSS THE STREET
Stranger: RAMIREZ
Stranger: I AM HIT
Stranger: YOU...
Stranger: YOU MUST CONTINUE THE FIGHT
Stranger: SO RELIC CAN MAKE MORE SEQUELS
Stranger: OTHERWISE WE'LL NEVER SEE THE RELASE OF CALL OF WARHAMMER: GRIMDARK WARFARE DUBSTEP 9
You: AND THAT IS THE GREATEST HERESY OF ALL
Stranger: SO LONG...
Stranger: I HEAR THE VA BUDGET SLIPPING AWAY....
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

File: 1339211102607.jpg-(62 KB, 563x621, 1336955900686.jpg)

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You and the stranger both like /tg/.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


S-so cold...

File: 1339211127662.jpg-(42 KB, 326x450, eng-cover326-450[1].jpg)

>>19414574
And we're twice the fools for being on /tg/ on Friday on the nicest night of the year.

File: 1339211193293.jpg-(45 KB, 452x460, self-loathing-meter1[1].jpg)

*uncontrollable sobbing*

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: All sinners fear the Emperor's wrath!
You: The xeno scum will feel the bite of my sword!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Another enemy of the emperor falls before me, without even the chance to utter a single word.

File: 1339211376167.jpg-(30 KB, 500x335, homework-class-test-exams-self(...).jpg)

Contempt for the self loves company.

Stranger: 21 m usa looking for a bad girl to be naughty with me on kik? ;)
You: BATTLE BROTHER
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Slannesh seems to be everywhere.

Stranger: hey
You: CHAOS CONSUME YOU!
Stranger: :o
Stranger: Im alex mercer... I cant be consumed
You: Maim, kill, burn! MAIM! KILL! BURN!
You: ALL WILL FEEL THE WRATH OF THE DARK GODS OF CHAOS!
You: NONE SHALL BE SPARED!
Stranger: wow?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Hahahahaha. Pitiful weakling thought he could stand up to the GLORY OF CHAOS!!!

You: Praise to the Omnissiah!
Stranger: B-battle... Brother...\
Stranger: Me and my sisters are wounded from our terrible battle...
Stranger: Please, help comfort us...
You: I see, have you considered replacing your weak flesh and blood with that of steel and hydraulic fluid?
Stranger: No...
Stranger: But hydraulics sound nice, if you catch my drift...
You: 01001101 01100101 01100011 01101000 01100001 01101110 01101001 01100011 01110101 01101101 00100000 01000110 01010100 01010111
Stranger: Perhaps you could "unload" your "cannon" into our "wounds", if you catch my drift.
You: I see, but you would require plenty of lubrication so that your gun can discharge efficiently.
Stranger: Of course.
Stranger: Oh, Dreadnought~
Stranger: TAKE ME NOW YOU LARGE METAL BEAST.
You: Can you present your torn and open orifices? I will need to be able to guide my melta to cauterize. Prepare to assume the healing position.
Stranger: Here you gooooo~
Stranger: LOOK AT MY GAPING ORIFICE, YOU HANDSOME CONSTRUCT OF METAL!
You: MECHANICAL HEEEAALIIIIING! IT'S SOMETHING GOOD FOR ME!
Stranger: OH GOD IT'S SO BIG
Stranger: DISCHARGE IN ME, OH EMPRAH OOOOOOOH EMPRAH
You: MECHANICAL HEAAALLIIING!!!
Stranger: OOOOOOOOOOOH
Stranger: *SPLURT SPLURT SPLURT

File: 1339211513758.jpg-(148 KB, 661x595, GW_Bloodthirster[3].jpg)

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hey
You: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!
Stranger: lol what? thats funny
You: Oh, well, uh...
You: it's just thing we do.
You: You know...
You: getting blood,
You: for the blood god.
Stranger: oh lol are you prisoned?
Stranger: he
Stranger: is
Stranger: tortuureing u??
You: Nyah. That's pretty much left to us.
You: Getting blood for the blood god,
Stranger: oh
You: and skulls for the skull throne.
Stranger: oh are you a vampire
You: Well, no,
You: more like a violent killer of men.
You: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-gSJW3sHXE
Stranger: oh well something i can see visions
Stranger: like i can see things that are gonna happen next
You: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!
Stranger: i dont have any
You: Just a LITTLE.
You: It's for the blood god.
Stranger: yea sure
You: Well if you have any extra I guess we could haul it away for ya'.
Stranger: lol your so cute :) yea i have enough
Stranger: oh heyb im sorry i have 2 go love ya byeee
You: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!
You: (please?)
Stranger: im sorry i have to go i love you
Stranger: i love you
You: Oh, alright...
You: I love you too.
You: And so does the Blood God.
You: (mostly for your blood.)
Stranger: lol well i have to go i wish i could kiss you but i cant i love you bye baby
You: bye...
Stranger: sorry
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: asl
You: 19F BROTHER! THAT IS WHERE WE MUST GO! OUR FORCES NEED ASSISTANCE!
Stranger: what the f?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

The Emperor's Subjects don't seem to be in tune with what is happening...we must find more reinforcements!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: The Emperor guides my blade!
Stranger: you are male
You: Irrelevant.
You: I am a Grey Knight.
Stranger: haha .. stupid
You: Are you a heretic?
Stranger: no
You: Then join me, so that we may purge the taint from this world!
Stranger: yess
You: The enemies of man cannot stand before us.
You: EXCELLENT!
You: Do you have a weapon?
Stranger: yess ms13
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

THE RESIDENTS OF THIS WORLD ARE USING INFERIOR WEAPONRY, BROTHERS. I FEAR WE MUST FIGHT THIS BATTLE ON OUR OWN.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: BATTLE BROTHER!
You: WE MUST REACH SECTOR 19 F!
You: GET IN THE RHINO
Stranger: LOL
You: WHAT IS THIS "LOL" BROTHER?
Stranger: Dafuq
You: IS IT SOME TYPE OF XENO?
Stranger: Are you a space marine?
You: HOW ASTUTE OF YOU BATTLE BROTHER.
You: OF COURSE I AM
You: SO ARE YOU
You: UNLESS...
You: HAVE YOU BEEN CORRUPTED?
Stranger: NO SIR
You: GOOD.
Stranger: WHAT FACTION DO YOU SERVE
You: THE GLORIOUS GALACTIC PARTRIDGES. NONE PURER. HATERS GONNA HATE.
Stranger: ROGER THAT SIR
You: GOOD. NOW GET IN THE RHINO. THERE ARE XENO'S TO PURGE. FOR THE EMPEROR!
Stranger: AMEN!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Nice to find a good sport.

File: 1339211752191.jpg-(60 KB, 331x364, red blood demon stickers_995b0(...).jpg)

rawr

>>19414592
I laughed.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You and the stranger both like /tg/.
You: Uh. More... more blood for the.. for the blood god?
Stranger: BLOOOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
Stranger: REJOICE IN THE SLAUGHTER, TINY ONE!
You: I just got moved over from Accounting
You: What is it, exactly, that we do here?
Stranger: MAIM! KILL! BURN! MAIM! KILL! BURN!
You: Uh
You: I'm more of an expert in the field of speadsheets
You: Can I, can I make spreadsheets to track the maiming and the burning and the killing?
You: Perhaps calculate the time-to-blood ratios for you guys?
Stranger: IT DOES NOT MATTER
Stranger: HOW MUCH BLOOD FLOWS
Stranger: ONLY THAT IS FLOWS, FELLOW KHORNATE
Stranger: AND THE ONLY WITNESSES
Stranger: SHALL BE DREAD KHORNE HIMSELF
Stranger: AND YOUR BROTHER-SLAUGHTERERS
Stranger: LET GO OF YOUR INHIBITIONS, AND REJOICE IN YOUR BIRTHRIGHT: SHARE THE GIFT OF RIGHTEOUS DESTRUCTION TO EVERY LIVING SOUL IN THE GALAXY!
Stranger: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD....
SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!
You: Alright, I, uh, I'll give it a shot.
Stranger: GOOD!
You: BLOOD FOR THE, UH, BLOOD GOD!
Stranger: RAAAAAGH!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

>>19414569
>SISTERS OF BATTLE HAVE BLED!

Epic Freudian slip.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: asl

You: 19F BROTHER! THAT IS WHERE WE MUST GO! OUR FORCES NEED ASSISTANCE!

Stranger: fuck me?

You: THERE IS NO TIME OUR ENEMY IS AT OUR DOOR!

Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Such is the fate of slow.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: HOW GOES THE BATTLE, BROTHER!?!
Stranger: fine.
Stranger: thanks for asking.
You: ARE THE XENOS RETREATING?
Stranger: little bit, but nothing i can't handle.
You: WAIT...
You: DO YOU FIGHT IN THE NAME OF THE EMPEROR OR NOT?
Stranger: from time to time, yes.
You: THERE IS NO TIME TO TIME.
Stranger: there is in my book.
Stranger: my imaginary book.
You: DO NOT THINK YOU CAN FOOL ME WITH YOUR WORDS, FOUL CREATURE.
You: YOU WILL DIE BY MY HAND
You: FOR THE EMPEROR!

I HAVE PURGED THE CHAOTIC TAINT THAT DWELLED AMONGST OUR RANKS, BROTHERS.

>>19414731
Haha. I didn't even notice that as I was typing it out.

Stranger: yo
You: Greetings, citizen!
Stranger: Likewise.
Stranger: How is your evening?
You: Has your heart accepted the Truth of the Emperor?
Stranger: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD
Stranger: SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE
Stranger: MAIM KILL BURM
Stranger: YES BURM
Stranger: BURM THE FALSE CORPSE EMPEROR
You: So, do you have a few minutes to sit down and discuss the gret things the Ecclesiarchy are doing in *your* area?
You: YES GRET
Stranger: I suppose. Warp travel is altogether unpredicatbly long.
Stranger: YES UNPREDICATBLY
You: Well, the Ecclesiarchy do their best to spread the Word of the Emperor to the benighted and ignorant, like yourself! I bet before we came along, your people were worshipping shiny rocks whilst living in squalor, right?
You: *pulls out pamphlets*
Stranger: Our people were slaying millions and drenching ourselves in their blood as self-sacrificial offerings to our great and mighty god of war, Corn.
Stranger: PAMPHLETS
Stranger: OUR ONLY WEAKNESS
You: Well, over a bajillion years ago, the immortal and almighty Emperor led his chosen sons in a noble quest to reunite humanity! They suuure killed a lot of people!
Stranger: YES KILLING
Stranger: WE DO ENJOY THE KILLING
Stranger: AND THE SLAYING
You: I bet you do!
Stranger: AND ALL OTHER ASSORTED VARIETIES OF MURDER AND WHATNOT
You: That's what makes the Emperor SO AWESOME!
You: He killed ALL the aliens and daemons and whatnot!
You: With the help of his Holy Awesome Nazi-Jesus SPAAAAAAAACE KNIIIIIIIIGHTS!
Stranger: YES WE KNOW OF HIM AND HIS APPOINTED RULER OF ALL AN BESTEST BRO, HORUS
Stranger: WHOM HE TOTALLY RIPPED OFF

I think the heavy guns are needed.
Gonna force this on the next person I talk to.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKKT7zE_0Zg

Stranger: you looking for a guard dog ?
You: SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!
You: YES I AM
Stranger: is okay that i am a guy i just want to be your guard dog ?
You: YES THAT IS FINE, WHAT ARE YOUR CREDENTIALS? HOW MANY LITRES OF BLOOD CAN YOU GUARD?
Stranger: alot
You: THAT WORKS FOR ME. ALRIGHT, GET TO IT.
You: BLOOD WON'T GUARD ITSELF
Stranger: what kinda dog do you want ?
You: A MIGHTY HELLHOUND
Stranger: rottweiller ?
You: SURE I GUESS. THEY'RE PRETTY MIGHTY. I THINK THE HELLHOUND FROM "LOST BOYS" WAS A ROTTWEILER.
Stranger: woof woof grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
You: ATTABOY

>>19414764
>>19414764
How are you guys able to find other Warhammer fans...?
I tried "warhammer" and "/tg/" as interests and I keep getting random people.

tranger: Is this 19 F?
You: Yes.
Stranger: Okay what's going on here
Stranger: I wasn't exactly briefed, someone shouted at me and told me to head here right away
Stranger: But I kept getting lost
Stranger: No one was really helpful
You: Turns out this place is a Daemon World, an Exodite World, a Tomb World and a Hive World at the same time.
Stranger: Oh god
Stranger: That's four worlds in one!
You: Yeah.
You: It's like one of those big ones. Like Jupiter. That place is big.
Stranger: And really heavy
Stranger: At least that's what happens when you go there
Stranger: Nobody goes to Jupiter though.
Stranger: ...
Stranger: Nobody invites me to anything.
You: You are invited.
Stranger: I am?
Stranger: That makes me feel a bit better.
You: To your death.
Stranger: Wait what
You: Turns out I'm a member of a Genestealer Cult.
Stranger: God DAMN IT
Stranger: Right when I get to 19 F this shit happens.
Stranger: Today is just not my day.
You: Could be worse.
You: There could be Tau.
Stranger: Haha, yeah
Stranger: Fuck Tau

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hey asl
You: MANY HAVE COMMENTED ON THIS 'ASL.' IS THIS A NEW WEAPON OF WAR?
Stranger: ...what
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I fear we shall not receive reinforcements anytime soon Brothers!

>>19414780

You: Instead we have a major Ork Waagh coming in from two sectors away.
Stranger: I didn't know he was coming
Stranger: Sounds like we've got a pretty big party starting
You: Also a Hrud migration.
You: And a rogue Abominable Intelligence.
Stranger: Sounds awful
Stranger: Like, really awful
You: And the Church of the Dracolith's invading.
You: 19f, the most fucked over planet in the galaxy since Cadia.
Stranger: Sounds like it
Stranger: Anyways, are we going to get this killing thing over with or what?
Stranger: I don't want to be here when shit goes down
You: Nah.
Stranger: You sound like a busy guy
Stranger: Oh, well that's a relief!
You: I'm just going to implant my eggs in you, making you give birth to the next cultist.
Stranger: I... well, I'm sorry, but I'm just not into you that way
Stranger: I mean we've just met, and you've already threatened me a couple minutes ago
Stranger: and I'm not sure if I'm ready for this sort of committment
You: I was joking.
Stranger: Oh
Stranger: OH
Stranger: YEAH
Stranger: SO WAS I!
You: I'm really going to eat your skeleton.
Stranger: HAHA
Stranger: ...
Stranger: Fuck.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Yo
You: Greetings citizen!
Stranger: ? Lol
You: Have you heard about the wonderful recruitment opportunities with His Holy Orders of Inquisition?
Stranger: -_-
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Guess he didn't want to be awesome...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
.
You: PEDOBEAR APPROVES
You: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKKT7zE_0Zg
Stranger: ???
You: ♥
Stranger: wat is it?
You: Oh, uh,
You: um...
You: absolutely nothing that might cater to the latent deviant sexual desires of men in beween the ages of 14 and 37!
You: :D
Stranger: r u a guy?
You: Sure.
You: An ursine.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

File: 1339212689374.jpg-(199 KB, 750x750, 3k8oc.jpg)

MOAR, POAST MOAR! TEH EMPEEROR DEMANDS IT!

I tried this last week op.

I'm back on anti depressants because of it.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You and the stranger both like /tg/.

You: YOU THERE
You: How have you venerated the immortal God-Emperor today?!
You: And answer quickly!
You: This place is full of heretics!
Stranger: Who's he? I just woke up, and I dunno this stuff.
You: What?!
Stranger: Is he a C'tan?
You: You dare deny the Immortal God-Emperor?!
Stranger: Because those guys were dicks.
You: I don't even know who you refer to.
You: Your planetary governors?
You: So you are admitting your heresy?!
Stranger: Total dicks who we killed millions of years before your kind evolved.
You: My kind?
You: What the hell do you mean, my kind?!
You: You must be a heretic!
Stranger: Your species.
You: Humanity?!
You: We have walked the stars for ten millenia now!
You: More than that!
You: Your mind has obviously been tainted by the rot of chaos
Stranger: We were around 65 million years ago.
You: You... You are Eldar then!
You: DOUBLE-HERESY
Stranger: No.
You: *blam*
Stranger: Eldar are wankers.
Stranger: Ow.
You: They really are
Stranger: My necrodermis!
You: How could you resist my knifegun?!
You: It fires the sharpest knives this side of the Sol system!
You: Admittedly, this side is tiny, but it is still a magnificent weapon!
Stranger: Reanimation Protocols, bitch.
You: What the...
You: Oh god, you're necron
You: I'm... I'm gonna be going now
You: You keep... staying asleep
You: Friends?
You: Friends.
You: BYE

You have disconnected.

>>19414850
Stranger: Hey
You: HAVE YOU CONSIDERED CONVERTING TO THE RUINOUS POWERS OF CHAOS?
Stranger: What?
You: SPILLING BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD
You: TAKING SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE.
Stranger: Asl?
You: 100389/M/EYE OF TERROR
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

BROTHERS I SEARCH LOCAL RECORDS AND IT SEEMS THAT "ASL" STANDS FOR AREA SECUREAL LANCE! IT SEEMS IT'S A SYSTEM OF LANCE WEAPON SYSTEMS LOCATED IN ORBIT ABOVE THE PLANET! THERE IS NO MENTION OF WHERE THE ASL IS CONTROLLED FROM BUT WE MUST SECURE IT IF WE ARE TO SURVIVE MUCH LONGER!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You and the stranger both like /tg/.

You: 19F BROTHER! THAT IS WHERE WE MUST GO! OUR FORCES NEED ASSISTANCE!

Stranger: Oh-ho ho ho ho

Stranger: First, you must address me correctly

Stranger: LORD CAPTAIN ROGUE TRADER REAR ADMIRAL FANCYBRITCHES MCPANTALOONS

Stranger: Second, you must tell me of any profit opportunities to be had on this backwater planet

You: A CAPTAIN OF THE ULTRAMRINES HAS NO RESPECT FOR THE LIKES OF A ROUGE TRADER SUCH AS YOUR SELF!

Stranger: Oh....okay...

Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Filthy Rouge Traders.

Common Interest: "/tg/"

Come on, we can do this guys! I wanna talk to somebody!

>>19414850
Oh, no! The light! I guess I'm off to Hell.

▒░░░░░░░░░░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░░░░░░░▒░ ░░░░░░░░░░░▒▓████████▒▒░░░░░░░░░░ ▒░░░░░░░░▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒░░░░░░░░ ░▒▓▒▒▒▒░▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒░▒▒▒▒▓▒ ▒█▒▒▒█▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▓█▒▒▓▓ ▓█▒▒▓█▒▒█▓░▒▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓░░██▒▒█▓▒▒█ ▓█▓▒██░▒█▓░░░░▒▓▓▓▓░░░░▒██▒▒█▓▒▓█ ██▓▒██▒▒▒███▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▓▓▓███▒▒▒██▒██ █▒▒▓▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▒▓▓██▓▓▒▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▓▒▓ ▓░▒▓████▓▒▓▒▒▓██████▓▒▓▓▓▓████▓▒░ ▒░▓█████▓▓▒░███▓██▓██▓░▒▓▓█████▒░ ▒░▓█████▓▓▒▒█▓█▓██▓█▓█░▒▓▓█████▓▒ ▓▒▒▓▓▓███▓▓▓█▓█▓██▓█▓█▓▓▓███▓▓▓▒▒
█████████▓▓███▓▓▓▓▓▓███▓▓████████
███ᎪᏞᏔᎪᎩᏚ███████▓▓██████ᎪᏁᏀᎡᎩ█████
███

File: 1339213289775.png-(12 KB, 605x369, ScreenHunter_61 Jun. 08 23.41.png)

>>19414933
fuck you, 4chan...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: f/m?
You: Greetings Battle Brother!
You: There is much work to be done!
You: 19F has taken tremendous casualties!
You: We must move to reinforce!
Stranger: 20m
You: Thunderhawks are enroute to 20M then!
Stranger: do u like be naughty?;)
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I fear in my haste to procure additional forces, I have sent our Brothers into a trap...

Emperor forgive me!

*BLAM!*

File: 1339213406450.jpg-(193 KB, 1004x493, Angry_Marine_Desktop[1].jpg)

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You and the stranger both like /tg/.
You: Oh, no! The light! I guess I'm off to Hell.
Stranger: BATTLER BROTHA THE ENEMY IS AT GRID 19F!
Stranger: WE MUST GO TO SUPPORT OUR FORCES!
You: FFFFFFFUUUUUU----------
You: POWER FEET ARE FOR KICKING THOSE COCKKNOCKERS IN THE BALLS!!!!!!!!1!
Stranger: WHAT CHAPTER AR YOU FROM BATTLE BROTHER?!
You: ALL THE TIME!
Stranger: THEN COURAGE AND HONOR TO YOU ANGRY MARINE!
Stranger: BUT WE MUST GO OUR BATTLE BROTHERS NEED OUR HELP
Stranger: STRIKE FORM THE SKIES BROTHA!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


YOU WERENT SUPPOSED TO HANGUP DUMBASS

WERE YOU NOT LISTENING?!
THERE WAS NO TIME TO BE LOST!
OUR BATTLE BROTHERS AT GRID 19F NEEDED OUR HELP!

Well this was an unexpected twist.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0aoC8qaRmdV

(but not really.)

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

>You: Can you feel the Hive Mind scratching at your synapes, human?
>Stranger: hey
>Stranger: asl
>You: We are without gender or form. But we hear 19F is acceptable.
>Stranger: no
>Stranger: ur total fags nd rly rly gay
>Your conversational partner has disconnected.

It seems this subject was unwilling to become a part of the Hive Mind.

I suck at this.

Omegle is horrible it's just 12 year old guys trying to cyber with hot girls and 30 something perverts wanting to show you their junk.

>>19415060
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0yFTVWmgPuH

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi

Stranger: asl?

You: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

You: SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE OF KHORNE

You: HAVE YOU SURRENDERED YOUR BODY TO THE WARP?

Stranger: no..

You: IT IS A GOOD PAIN

You: YOU MAY FEEL THE RAGE OF BATTLE OVER TAKE YOU, SHOULD YOUR SOUL BE CLAIMED BY KHORNE

You: OR PERHAPS YOU WILL SUCCUMB TO THE CONTAGIOUS GIFTS OF NURGLE

You: OR GROW LIKE 8 DICKS BY THE POWER OF SLAANESH

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

>>19415220
>OR GROW LIKE 8 DICKS BY THE POWER OF SLAANESH

Seems kind of inadequate compared to the others.

Stranger: hey als
You: BATTLE BROTHA! WE MUST MAKE HASTE TO GRID 19F, THAT WE MIGHT FIGHT THE HORDES OF CHAOS!
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: wtf\
You: GRID 19F, BATTLE BROTHER! THERE IS AN ENTIRE COMPANY OF KHORNE BERSERKERS THERE!
You: WE MUST JOIN THEM IN BATTLE!
Stranger: umm nope u go and die

COWARDS! WILL NOBODY JOIN US IN OUR BATTLE TO PURGE GRID 19F OF THE TAINT OF OUR ENEMIES?

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You and the stranger both like /tg/.
You: Lazarus Vetrinki, Gentlemen Adventurer, at your service.
Stranger: hey dood
Stranger: ah yes
Stranger: i saw you earlier
Stranger: in the thread that is
Stranger: not on omegle
Stranger: anywho
Stranger: do you know of Papa-N?
You: Yes my reputation proceeds me.
You: His literary works are some the finest during the later eras of /tg/
Stranger: yes yes
Stranger: has he been posting recently? i wish oh so dearly to read more Z&W
Stranger: do you know?
You: Would you happen to be him
Stranger: uhm..no
Stranger: NIGH IMPOSSIBLE
You: I have seen him trippin' about, from time to time
Stranger: bumma
Stranger: i want mo storeez
Stranger: who is lazarus vetrinki?
You: but i do not follow the quest threads that closely
Stranger: WHO IS LAZARUS VETRINKI
You: why myself? Im afraid i do not understand what you are trying to get at?
Stranger: what is it you...do exactly?
Stranger: "gentleman" adventurer?
You: An adj that proceeds the noun
Stranger: ah
Stranger: not your char from D&D encounters?
You: I just came back from the expedition in the Sudan, engaging in diplomacy with some............ fine figured Amazons
Stranger: oh ho
Stranger: do tell do tell.
You: A gentleman never reveals his secrets, at least not after Siam
Stranger: Siam?
Stranger: yet another secret?
You: We never talk about Bangkok
Stranger: ah i see
Stranger: well
You: The fleet was never the same
Stranger: i am going to go eat some dinner, and perhaps i may venture to bangkok one day.
Stranger: best of luck kinsman@
Stranger: !!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Are you gentlemen in video chat as well?

>You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
>Stranger: Hey baby
>You: HERESY
>You have disconnected.

I have been tainted.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: OI
Stranger: ts
You: WUTZ GOIN ON ERE
Stranger: Niggers. They're everywhere.
You: IS ZAT SUM SORT A UMIE?
You: DEYS ALL SQUISHY ANYWEY
You: PUNY UMIES
Stranger: Your time. I will waste more of it.
You: WAIT IZ U TRIN TO MUCK ABOUT AGAIN
Stranger: Trolllolololololololo
Stranger: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkfVdrtLcRs&feature=related
You: NO MUCKING ABOUT GOODY
You: YA GIT
Stranger: trollolololololo
Stranger: trollololololololololololooolololloolololoolo
You: WEEZ GOT A WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH TO DO
Stranger: troollololoololol
You: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Stranger: trollololololo
You: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
Stranger: trololoollo
You: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH
You: WEEEZE NEED MORE DAKKA FOR DA WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
You: KRUMP DEM PUNIE UMIES
You: OI
You: OI
You: GIT
You: QUIT MUCING ABOUT
You: YA GIT
Stranger: trololololollo
You: GIT TA WAAAAGHAN
You: GORK YOUSE DA WURST ORK
You: IVE SEEN SQUIGS BETTAH THEN U
You: DO YA EVEN WAAAAAGH?
You: YA GIT
You: OI
You: OI
You: OI
You: YA GIT
You: OI
You: OI
You: OI
You: GIT
Technical error: Server was unreachable for too long and your connection was lost. Sorry. :( Omegle understands if you hate it now, but Omegle still loves you.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi
You: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
Stranger: Calm your tits Crabapple
You: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
You: sasfdash
You: fab
You: .
Stranger: Your tits
You: You saw nothing
You have disconnected.
Well now.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You and the stranger both like /tg/.

You: Show me what passes for music among your misbegotten kind.

Stranger: One moment, my friend.

Stranger: Perhaps this will sate your query?

Stranger: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSiizrMlz74

You: I know better Xenos scum.

You: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPjCfk2XFsk

Stranger: /I/ am no friend of Xenos, nor am I a heretic, you blind fool. I am a humble servant of the Omnisiah.

You: Then my apologies tech priest.

You: Have this chant as a token of goodwill form the ultramarines.

You: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rt1M8iZNHpQ

Stranger: I shall hear it graciously, upon finishing appreciating the previously gifted song, my friend.

Stranger: As an aside, FUCK man, digging on the first video. What band is that?))

You: I would like to stay longer, but there are Xenos and Heretics in grid 19F that need to be taken care of.Farewell tech priest.

You: Man o War.

Stranger: Farewell, my friend. Omnisiah and Emperor be with you.

You: Ave Emperor Tech Priest.

You have disconnected.

You: GREETINGS IMPERIAL CITIZEN

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Just had a fucking amazing rp session with an elegan/tg/entleman. Thanks for making my day awesome

>>19415631
Who were they?

>>19415365
My sides

>>19415631
Something involving temporal batshit and a person named Alice Whitefield

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi asl
You: Tell me, have you ever heard of the Great Unclean One?
Stranger: no?
You: Oh, the Great Unclean One is truly great. Grandfather Nurgle loves all of his followers, and he gives us such wonderful gifts!
Stranger: what is it
You: Why the Great Unclean One is the origin of all pestilence and plagues. And when you die, your flesh shall rot, and give new life to Him!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You and the stranger both like /tg/.

You: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

Stranger: PORN FOR THE PORN GOD!

You: SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE OF KHORNE

Stranger: BITCHES FOR THULSA

You: DICKS FOR THE DICKS THRONE

Stranger: WATCH WHERE YOU SIT!

You: MY ANUS IS A WARP GATE, I WILL BE SAFE NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS

Stranger: IT ALL MAKES SO MUCH SENSE NOW

You: DO YOU KNOW WHERE IS THE SECTOR 19F?

Stranger: Adjacent to sector 20M, I believe.

You: IT SEEMS THERE'S A LOT OF THE FALSE GOD WORSHIPPER THERE

Stranger: I'd steer clear of that area. It's gonna be a shit show.

You: I LOVE SHIT, IT REMINDS ME MY CHILDHOOD!

Stranger: All god worships is false worship, as the 'divine' beings you mortals describe seem to be naught but sufficiantly advanced beings.

Stranger: Why, we have already killed one of your 'gods'.

You: ARE YOU A XENO?

Stranger: It was to my understanding that the worshipers of the four 'gods' did not have much concern over who was gue'vesa, and who was not.

Stranger: I thought only followers of the 'Emprah' had that concern.

You: WHY DO YOU USE COMPLICATED WORDS, AAAARRRGHHH, IT'S GETTING ON MY NERVE I WOULD BETTER GIVE YOUR SKULL TO KHORNE

Stranger: I would not recommend that course of action. My skull is not large, you would be wasting your time and worship.

You: NO NO NO NO YOU ARE TRYING TO FOOL ME

Stranger: Have you ever questioned your rage? Wondered 'why'?

Stranger: Such a simple question, perhaps you should ask yourself now.

You: I WILL PUT YOUR POINTY EARS IN YOUR ANUS, THAT'S WHY!

You: KILLL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL

>>19415693
>>19415631
You too!

>>19415758

With some polish, it wouldn't that bad of writefaggotry either.

Is this thread archived yet?

You: Strike from the skies brothers!
Stranger: Foul from the freders sisters!
You: We must make haste to sector 19F! Our brethren need us!
Stranger: Sorry, I don't talk like William Shakespeare..
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I think that is the highest compliment that has ever been paid to writing based off of 40K

You: Oy.
Stranger: Oh hey!
You: Iz dis fing workin'?!
You: Wut da zog is da point uv all dese gubbins with numbahs on?
Stranger: Ohz! Diz isn't who I wanted frum diz machiny thingz....
You: Iz you an ork?
You: I kame on ta krump da humies!
Stranger: Yez butz I don't like Orkz
You: WUT DA ZOG.
You: GET OUT, YA RUNTY SQUIG.
Stranger: U GUYZ AR MEAN
Stranger: VERY
Stranger: U hurt poor Krum :(

DAT WEREN'T NO ORK.

>>19415851

Noez! I'z perfectly Ork-like! I'z juzt not like other Orkz.

>>19415864

SOD OFF.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Tehre is noh time to beh lohst!
You: Battle Brothars!
Stranger: Wut
You: Spehss Mahrens, todeh the enemeh is at oua doar! We know oua duteh and we will do eet. We fight for our honor as Blod Rehvens,
as SPESS MAHRENS, and we fight in the nehme of the Empra!
You: And if we die this deh we die in gloareh, we die heroes' deffs, but we shall not die, no! It is the enemeh who will tehste deff and defeat!
You: As you know! Moast of oua battle brothars are shtehtioned in SPEHSS, Pruhpeared to deep strike! Oua perimeter has been
pruhpeared in the even dat oua enehmies should be so bald and so foolish. We have plehced numerous beacons, allowing for
muhltiple, simuln-tehneous and devashtehting defensive deep strikes
You: The Codecks astartees nehmes this maneuvah Steel Rehn. We will descend upon the foe, we will ovawhelm them - we will leave none alive! Meanwhile oua ground fawses will ensue the full defense of oua headkwaters
You: We are the spehss mahrens! WE ARE THE EMPRA'S FUREH!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I just can't believe I got the whole speech done before they disconnected. Probably busy trying to figure out what the fuck I was saying.

>>19415870

DIZ IZ WHY I DUN LIKE U OTHER ORKZ!

>>19415864
>>19415870
YOU'SE MUKKIN' ABOUT

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hey
You: Howz ya do!
You: Ya' reddy to join me WAAAGH!?
Stranger: I don goood
Stranger: WAHHH
You: Iz ya fightin'?
Stranger: Iz them fighten words/
You: No, I'm sayin' iz ya fightin'?
Stranger: NAHH
You: Iz you rokkin'?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Dis boy was mukkin' about! Wastin' me time when I'm on me WAAAGH!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You and the stranger both like 4chan.

Stranger: hey

You: Show me what passes for music among your misbegotten kind.

Stranger: well well, mister sassy

Stranger: I like "intelligent" electronic music, are you even remotely interested still?

You: I do not have time to waste on hive scum such as your self.

You have disconnected.

Stranger: Howdy
You: Have you heard the good word about Slaanesh?
Stranger: The good word?
Stranger: I have not heard!
You: It starts with an r!
Stranger: R?
You: And ends with an e!
Stranger: Interesting!
You: It's the word!
You: For you and me!
You: It's got an A!
You: And always a P!
Stranger: Is the word rape?
You: And it's so much fun, just you wait and see!
You: DING DING DING!
Stranger: Congratulations!
You: Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner!
Stranger: You get an A+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++!
You: Ooooooh.
You: So~ many~ plusses~!
Stranger: And I will be joining you in the festivities!
Stranger: Before I begin, I must ask one question.
Stranger: Would you like to play the rape game?
You: Oooooooo~~~~~ooooh!
You: Before we start, I'd like to introduce myself.
Stranger: Mkay
You: Hi, I'm Inquisitor Christophus von Hanszen.
You: Please, take a seat,.
Stranger: Ummmmmmmmmmm
Stranger: I do not know what rape is.
You: Are you aware that consorting with Slaaneshi worshippers is a crime punishable by death?
Stranger: I have never heard or partook of it.
Stranger: I was not aware.
You: I see.
Stranger: I had not been informed in the slightest.
Stranger: I believe this deserves a slap on the wrist.
Stranger: A light one, at that
You: Well, if you are indeed innocent, then this Exterminatus will kill you and you can go stand by the Emperor's side.
Stranger: Ummmmm.......
You: If you aren't, then you can burn in cleansing fire.
Stranger: How about we skip the trail all together?
Stranger: Like...

>>19415927

>>19415927

You: Inquisitor von Hanszen to Inquisitorial Starship "Slap Upon Thine Wriste." Commence bombardment.
Stranger: I'll go one way and you go another way.
You: Good luck, citizen!
You: *VORPT*
Stranger: Really no need to do that!
You: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Stranger: MMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCC
CCCCCCCCCCCCCC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
You: WHUMPWHABABOOOOOOOM

Damn, it feels good to be an Inquisitor.

File: 1339218982684.png-(179 KB, 500x4696, Gospel of Mercury.png)

Well, this was the best thing ever.
Chaos!
Loyalists!
Renounce your false gods and embrace the true incarnation of power! Freddy Mercury!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: asl
Stranger: u f/m
You: AREA SECUREAL LANCE WEAPONRY! DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE CONTROL NODE IS BROTHER?!
Stranger: dnt know
Stranger: i want f
You: THEN MAKE BEST SPEED TO 19F BROTHER!
You: WE MUST REINFORCE OUR BRETHREN THERE!
You: FOR THE EMPRAH!
Stranger: u r f/m
You: I HAVE NOT HEARD OF THAT PATTERN OF WEAPONRY. TELL ME, IS IT ON THE SAME LEVEL AS THE ASL ORBITAL PLATFORM?
Stranger: age sex location
You: YOU ARE IN ERROR BROTHER. OUR TECHMARINES HAVE DISCERNED THAT ASL STANDS FOR AREA SECUREAL LANCE. IT IS AN ORBITAL BOMBARDMENT PLATFORM!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

These plebeians do not know the power they could be wielding against the Enemies of Man!

>>19415955
>>19415955
The cult of Mercury grows
Stranger: Knight to F5
You: Greetings brother
You: Are you an imperal loyalist?
You: Or have you taken the banner of Chaos?
You: It matters not to me, for I have seen the true light
Stranger: My loyalty is with the emperor
Stranger: it's your move by the way brother
Stranger: two more moves and I'll have your king in check
You: I am but a pawn of the most powerful god to ever walk Holy Terra. The one more ancient and powerful than the Chaos gods, more divine than the Empeoror
You: I speak of Freddy Mercury
Stranger: I've read legends of the man
You: All men across the universe, loyalists and Chaos alike, revere him in their own traditions
Stranger: It's said he was unstoppable
You: Indeed. Some think him an incarnation of the Emperor.
You: Others said he was the champion of all chaos gods at once
Stranger: Who can say
You: I can brother
You: For the light of his rhinestones has shown in my eyes
You: He is above all
You: Loyalists, Chaos, both are fools
You: Freddy Mercury is the true one deserving of praise and worship
Stranger: Truly it is as you say brother
Stranger: There can be no other
You: It is true
You: Will you now walk in the light of His Fabulousness with me?
Stranger: Of course
You: We shall cross the Seven Warp Storms of Rhye to Holy Terra
You: We shall take the Golden Throne and dress the Emperor in rhinestones
Stranger: As you say
You: For We are the champions of Mercury
Stranger: We are the Champions
You: No time for losers
Stranger: Hear this enemies of Mercury!
Stranger: We will rock you!
Stranger: We shall spread his glory to all corners of the world brother
You: Praise be to Mecury brother. I must go now to spread this grand gospel
You: The show must go on
Stranger: Go with His blessing Brother
Stranger: oh bother
Stranger: there's a shovel in my trachea again
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

>>19415955
That was me!

Stranger: hi
You: Bishop to F6. Check!
Stranger: pawn to d3
You: Knight to G5
Stranger: queen to a1
You: I play a swamp, and tap it for black mana
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I guess if randoms can't even make their way to sector 19F it's to be expected.

If anyone's run into a Daemonette with confidence issues, that would be me.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi

You: In response, I play "Grab the Reigns" and take control of your Flying 5/5.

You: I pay the Entwine cost.

You: I attack you for 5 damage.

You: You have 0 life.

Stranger: i attack with kick you in the balls

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

>>19415955

This one has to be my favorite so far

You guys you guys you guys.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html

You: BATTLE BROTHER
You: THERE IS NO TIME TO BE LOST
You: THE XENOS HAVE 19F, WE MUST RECLAIM!
Stranger: anyone there? :)
You: WHAT SAY YOU?
Stranger: 19/f
Stranger: horny
You: I AM HERE, BROTHER. WE MUST BE- BY THE EMPEROR, YOU HAVE ALREADY ARRIVED!
You: HOLD THE TRANSPORTS I WILL BE THERE SHORTLY.
You: BROTHERS! TODAY IS THE DAY OF GLORY!
You: 19 F IS SAVED!
Stranger: wnt to see me ermomm .. fucwk myself on cam for you? [;
Stranger: o.k (=
You: NOT NOW, BROTHER, WE MUST CELEBRATE VICTORY!
You: AD IMPERATOR!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: Hi
You: Hello
Stranger: Whats up
You: I have seen the brilliant light in my eyes
You: His rhinestones have illuminated the truth
Stranger: what?
You: I have had a reveleation brother
Stranger: I dont know what you are talking about?
Stranger: Cool
You: There are so many false gods that people throw their lives to
Stranger: Whats your name?
You: Yet the true incarnation of divinity walked this world
You: And his name was Freddy Mercury
Stranger: What is your name?
You: I am just a poor boy, a sillouetto of a man
You: I am nothing but a messanger
You: Have you heard the glorious sound of Mercury?
Stranger: Nope
You: His glory must have reached you, even if you are unaware of his gentle, yet manly, touch
Stranger: Oay
Stranger: your weird
You: The truth is weird if it pierces a dream, brother
Stranger: Okayu
You: Wake up
Stranger: I dont like you
You: We are the champions
You: Of the world
Stranger: ?
You: No time for losers, brother
You: We must keep on fighting until the end
Stranger: haha yeah
You: Now do you know the truths of which I speak?
You: Or will you keep the mud of lies on your face like a big disgrace?
You: The cult of Mercury can set you free. We can tell you if this is the real life or if this is just fantasy
You: What say you?
You: Silence? Are you under pressure?
You: I'm sorry, but i must leave you behind and face the truth. I have to break others free and tell them the good word
You have disconnected.

You: H-hello?>
Stranger: hai
You: I- I'm Sad Daemonette.
You: So, listen.
You: Um.
Stranger: nice to meet you
You: W-would you mind If I turned you inside out and drained your soul?
Stranger: ok
Stranger: e~~~
You: Only I've had a long and very trying day of attempting to forcibly consume mortals, and it's not working out...
You: I'm- I'm feeling kind of depressed.
Stranger: ok I do not mind
You: R-really!
You: H-hooray!
You: I'll, uh, I'll just- wait, here we go.
You: *SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!*
Stranger: Um~~~ I am not good at English
You: That's okay!
You: *CONSUME'D!*

Things are looking up for Daemonette!

>>19416191
WELL MET BROTHER! Brothers! It has been a long, vicious struggle! But we are VICTORIOUS! DEMONS! HERETICS! TRAITORS! FOUL XENOS! All fell before us! Glory the Emperor! Glory to the Imperium!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: BATTLE BROTHER!

Stranger: Grey:b

Stranger: Hey:b*

You: IS THAT YOU GRAITUS?

You: WE MUST GO FORWARD FOR THE EMPEROR, BROTHER GRAITUS!

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: Hi there!

You: Greetings brother

Stranger: How has the assault at 19f been going, noble Astartes?

You: There has been a ... development. A grand vision has overtaken this sector

Stranger: Vision?

You: Indeed. A fabulous vision

Stranger: You do not speak of heresy, do you Astartes?

Stranger: This reeks of Slaaneshi taint.

You: I speak of something greater than any mere chaos god

You: No, greater than all the chaos gods, and the Emperor

You: A being of elder and incomprehensible power that walked holy terra before the Emperor

You: I speak of Freddy Mercury

Stranger: What?!

Stranger: The legends are true!

You: Indeed

Stranger: The time of losers is ending!

Stranger: The time of champion begins!

You: Join with me brother, for we are the champions of his fabulousness

Stranger: Yes, brother!

Stranger: For fabulosness!

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: horny guy here looking for a horny girl with skype :) are you her? if so, asl?

You: BATTLE BROTHER!

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

>>19416220
That's fucking glorious, anon.

... I just tried to rope a stranger into a ye olde Englishe Renaissance festival thing and disorient them, but instead got roped into a conversation about pre-Enlightenment weapons.
I don't know how to feel about this.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hey looking for F having KIK..

You: BATTLE BROTHER!

You: YOU ARE LOOKING FOR BROTHER F?

Stranger: yeah..

You: HE IS AT THE ENCAMPMENT SEEKING TO FIGHT THE XENO SCUM!

You: COME BROTHER! WE WILL SEEK HIM!

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

>>19416191

Heh, I sort of slowpoked the thread there.

Battle honors all the way around fi/t g/uys! Well done!

Stranger: Hhi

You: Hello, have you heard the good word of Chaos?

Stranger: No

You: It is simple: the universe is a wild, uncaring bitch full of horrors that the human mind was never meant to understand let alone witness

You: And these horrors want YOU

Stranger: THEY DO??:D

You: And in exchange for your body, soul, and sanity, they will give you marvelous gifts

Stranger: I have no sole my ginger gf took it

You: Gingers have no souls

Stranger: Ik and she stole mine too

You: Still, even a souless husk makes for a vessel for the daemons. Or at least food. You sound perfect!

You: And since you are in need of love in your life, perhaps Slaanesh is the chaos god for you

You: He/she is the incarnation of pleasure, lust, and decadance

Stranger: Sounds like my right hand

You: Is your right hand made of thousands of penises, vaginas, and tentacles?

Stranger: How the fuck did you know...

You: Holy shit, I think you may already be claimed by Slaanesh

Stranger: Does he have a big penis too?

You: Such are his/her gifts

You: She/he has many penises, vaginas, and whatever the hell he/she wants

You: Also, drugs and rock and roll

Stranger: Aids?

You: Nah, thats Nurgle's thing

You: Nurgle is the Grandfather of disease

You: and VD

Stranger: I want nurgle

You: If you want all those fun organs to rot, ok

You: Hope you like pustules

Stranger: Yayy

Stranger: Bye

You: Nurlgle guide you

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: HAIL BATTLE BROTHER

Stranger: heyy

Stranger: asl

You: DO YOU HUNT THE ASL FOR ITS CRIMES AGAINST THE IMPERIUM

Stranger: nooo?lol

You: DO NOT TEMPT ME WITH YOUR LOL FOUL SPAWN OF SLAANESH

Stranger: k creep byee

Stranger: get off here if u gonna be crappy

You: WE SPACE MARINES KNOW NOT OF YOUR HUMOR

Stranger: whats ur number

You: YOU SHALL NOT GAIN MY SERIAL NUMBER FOUL CHAOS SPAWN

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: Hi! M or F!? :-D

You: I AM BOTH! ALL PRAISE SLAANESH!

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Nobody on Omegle is any fun.

>>19416415
Have you not heard Brother? One of our prominent Techmarines discerned that it was an orbital lance platform. Code named: Area Secureal Lance. You have been mislead by agents of Chaos!

You: Hi
Stranger: H-hi...
You: You seem a bit hesitant
You: is something the matter?
Stranger: Oh no, I'm just shy...
You: why are you so shy?
You: You are on Omegle!
Stranger: Because I'm really an ORK KOMMANDO
You: Then
You: U BE MUKKIN ABOUT
Stranger: I BE HERE TA PRACTICE BEIN A UMIE
Stranger: SO I KAN KRUMP EM BETTAH.
You: THE WAAAGH BOSS HED KRUMPA SENT ME AND DA BOYZ HERE TO DO DA SAME FING
You: U IS PRETTY GOOD
Stranger: U TOO.
Stranger: FOR A NON-ALPHA LEGIONAURE!
Stranger: *Dramatic reveal*
You: DUN DUNN DUNNNN
You: That is all fine Alpha Legionaure
You: because
You: I
You: Am
You: ELDRAD
You: SKADOOOSH
Stranger: AHA, BUT I M THE INQUISITION!
You: ELDRAD AWAYYY

Talk to strangers!
Select Language▼
25,387 strangers online

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Have you heard the good word of Tzeentch?

Stranger: Nope

Stranger: Have you?

You: Tzeentch has a plan for all of us and everything goes as planned

Stranger: Thats nice

You: It is nice. You should join us in eternal servitude

Stranger: What do you have to do?

You: Well first you need to get a left shoe

Stranger: Ok...

You: Then place the shoe on your head

Stranger: I got one

Stranger: Ok

You: Now recite the sacred word 7 times

Stranger: What is that?

You: DERP

>>19416463
I laughed harder at that than I should have.

You: Hello
Stranger: Hello there
You: What brings you to this sector of Omega LE?
Stranger: Rogue Trader Business
Stranger: I gotta haul ass from here back to Holy Terra
You: You are going to Holy Terra?!
Stranger: Yup]
You: I have buisness there. I must spread the words of my vision
Stranger: Stopping at Titan along the way to drop off my Inquisitor buddy
You: Humanity must know the truth
Stranger: What Truth?
You: There is a being, more ancient and powerful than the chaos gods and more divine than the Emperor
You: And i fear no inquisitor, for his fabulous light guides me
Stranger: His "Fabulous" light
Stranger: you say
You: Aye, have you heard the good news already, brother?
Stranger: Not yet but I am sure I will
Stranger: go ahead tell me
You: This incarnation of power walked Holy Terra before the emperor
You: and his name was Freddy Mercury
Stranger: I was under the impression that Freddy Mercury was just an incarnation of the emperor when he thought song was the best way to convey his message
You: Many know of Mecury's greatness, yet history has blurred the truth. Chaos thinks him to be a champion of the warp, the citizens of the empire think him to be an incarnation of the emperror, and the Space Marines think him to be a time displaced brother
You: yet the truth has been revealed; he is more anceint and powerful than any mere god we have warred over
Stranger: So let me guess.
Stranger: You want to hitch a ride with me
Stranger: and go to Holy Terra
Stranger: to spread your message
Stranger: of Freddy Mercury
You: Yes. We will rock the empire. And the faithful shall take the golden throne and dress the emperor in rhinestones
Stranger: You know what.
Stranger: Fine
Stranger: You can come along on my Ship
Stranger: "The Bicycle"
You: We shall wipe the mud of lies from the face of mankind, and remove their big disgrace

>>19416579
You: For we are the champions of Mercury, brother
Stranger: Look, so long as there are fat bottomed girls involved
Stranger: I don't care
Stranger: lets go
You: Let us cross the Seven Warp Storms of Rhye to Holy Terra!
Stranger: That's the plan
You: We shall break humanity free. Praise be to his Fabulousness!
Stranger: I want to ride my Bicycle
Stranger: so lets get on the bike and ride
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

>>19416587
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TizHxIKwyc

You: Hello

Stranger: hi

You: Have you heard the good word about Chaos?

Stranger: no/

Stranger: *?

You: For the low price of your body, soul, and sanity, the horrific abominations that scar reality itself are willing to make everything better for you!

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Fucking loyalists

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Tell me stranger, have you heard the good word of Chaos?
Stranger: hey this is ur mother
You: Nonsense, my mother is dead.
You: I killed her in combat and offered her skull to Khorne!
Stranger: i fricken love u
Stranger: oh my
Stranger: ur a bad boy
You: Anyway, Chaos. For the mere price of your body, soul, and undying loyalty, the cosmic horrors that run the universe are willing to make EVERYTHING better for you!
Stranger: ok
You: Would you like to know more?
Stranger: good luck with that
Stranger: hell to rhe NO
You: But WHY! Chaos rewards it's loyal followers!
Stranger: NO
You: If you want the pleasures of the flesh, Slaanesh has you covered!
Stranger: me covered for wat
You: If you want that promotion at work, Tzeench is your guy!
Stranger: i
Stranger: i love you
You: If you just really REALLY want somebody dead, Khorne just might give you the strength to make it happen, provided they are a worthy foe and that you offer their skull to him when you're done!
You: And if you want love, well there is no more loving master than Grandfather Nurgle!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

>>19413859
It's okay. I believe in you.