You are a lowly peasant, nothing more than the son of the town drunk.You wake up on a day like any other, to see your father has come home, and he's beating your mother while your child sister watches, AGAIN.What do you do?
fuck that shitany improvised weapons around we can use?
Take the sister and go outside.
>>19302250>>19302254You don't see anything nearby, the room is mostly just straw and twigs.You coax your sister over from her hiding place in the corner of the room, and lower her out of the window, clambering out after her.What now?
>>19302270>There is a pitchfork leaning by the side of the houseYou hear your mother sobbing inside the house, it doesn't seem like dad is letting up this time, he's off worse than usual.
Bide time until father passes out. Strangle with bare hands. Loot body.
Start beating my sister, emulating my father both verbally and brutally.
Hide sisterGrab pitchforkCharge father
Use pitchfork on sister.
>>19302296You wait outside, holding your sister close and covering her ears until you hear your father pass out in his drunken stupor.By the time he's finished, the sun is just beginning to set and your mother has stopped screaming.>Roll 1d10 to sneak inside the house>Roll 1d20 to strangle your father in his sleep
>>19302291Time to take matters into our own hands. Tell our sister to hide.Take that pitchfork, get that miserable sack of shit excuse for a father off of our mother. If we stab him, make sure it's from the front; we can then say we were defending ourselves.
go up to my dad and say ENOUGH! im so sick of this bullshit every FUCKING DAY! and i punch him as hard as i can in the stomach
Wait.How old are we?
rolled 6 = 6>>19302325Beta as fuck.
rolled 17 = 17>>19302325Rolling to smother that shit in his sleep.
i scream and say FUCK YOU DAD! im so sick of this FUCKING BULLSHIT EVERY GOD DAMNED DAY! i muster every bit of my strength and punch my dad full force in the stomach.
rolled 6 = 6>>19302325
rolled 15 = 15>>19302325I'm sorry, father. I'm so sorry.
Sentences I'd never expected to come across, number 273:>Roll 1d20 to strangle your father in his sleep
rolled 5 + 1 = 6>>19302325
>>19302327Seeing as this is labelled Grimdark Quest,, i have a feeling the authorities may not buy it...>Captcha: insufferably eathearcThis is rather eathearc, i agree
>>19302336Being of your 16th summer, you decide that it's about time this bullshit endedYou grab the pitchfork, and climb over in to the houseYour father, asleep, you hold the pitchfork to his chest, contemplating what you think must be done.>Roll 1d20 to finish it.
rolled 18 = 18>>19302364Slay him.
rolled 11 = 11>>19302364You'll never hurt us again.
rolled 3 + 1 = 4>>19302325MOTHERFUCKERRR
>>19302364No. We kill him when he's awake. Beat him with the blunt side. Wake him up. Then we kill him.Make him see who did it.Curse him for the shit that he was as he lies dying.
You wonder? Is such a pathetic man worthy of the quick, stabbing mercy of the pitchfork? Or has he earned the slow, painful death of throttling?>Consensus wins
rolled 17 = 17>>19302392Stab him in the face.
>>19302380You can't roll two types of dice at once. The second dice type will always be a 1.
rolled 17 = 17>>19302392kill it with fire
Pitchfork. We don't know how old we are; a nine year old could kill with a pitchfork, but the father could easily stop his strangulation attempt.
>>19302392Make it quick. No need for bullshit, just make him stop hurting your family.
>>19302392Make it slow. Make it painful. We owe him nothing.In fact, drown him in a bucket of water.
>>19302387Just end it fast. He's just as miserable as he's been making us.Remember the old days. Remember the good summers our family had. Remember when things weren't so awful.End it fast.
You raise the pitchfork high, and as you do so, you hear a choked sob coming from the other side of the room.The human wreckage of your mother stares at you from swollen, bloodied eyes, knowing what you are about to do. She remains silentYou drive the pitchfork in to your father's face, and as the deed is done, and the prongs go in through his eyes, he awakes, begins thrashing."IS THAT YOU?! I KNEW YOU WOULD BE MY END! I KNEW, EVER SINCE THE DAY OF THE PROPHECY, WHY MUST YOUR MOTHER HAVE NAMED YOU......">Choose your name fellowsYou thrust, and finally the monster that wore a man's form lies limp on the floorYour mother begins to sob loudly and freely, and your sister seems to be trying to get back in the house.What now?
rolled 8 = 8>>19302449Port.
rolled 5 = 5>>19302449JOHN OF JOHN JOHNSON
>>19302458Yes, Porkenstein. WHY MUST YOUR MOTHER HAVE NAMED YOU PORKENSTEIN!
rolled 1 = 1>>19302449Harkonen Brownbeard
rolled 3 = 3PORKENSTEIIIIIN oh fuck yes porkenstein fuck
>>19302458I always knew it would be you, Porkenstein!
>>19302457>You are Caim, and you have slain the monster which was once your father, to protect your mother and your sister.Your mothers sobs have not ceased, and your sister climbs in through the windows.There's a bit of a commotion outside, but the noises don't seem to be coming your way.What do you do?
rolled 12 = 12>>19302449Sue
>>19302449Well, keep sis outside for one thing. Make plans for the body. Bury it outside of town. Mark the grave with a cross. Hang a dogs collar on the cross.
>>19302449Bob. The prophecy spoke of Bob.
>>19302449Rabban.And get our mother up on her feet, and take her out of the room, and get her to our sister.
rolled 18 = 18>>19302480say sorry to your family, ask them to join us and start a new life
>>19302480I call myself Porkenstein henceforth. Calm isn't a suitable name for me, and it would be wise to abandon my old name. Patricide would be frowned upon in my village, so I must make a new life for myself.
>>19302480Get our sister, have her stay with mother, have them stay quiet.Check on the commotion.
rolled 7 = 7>>19302499oh and his surename is Caim PORKENSTEIN please
>>19302480"I had to stop him. He... He wasn't father anymore. He hasn't been father for a long, long time."
Bury father head down facing away from the rising sun, that his soul may not know peace.
>>19302483>>19302499>>19302496You see no use to lingering on what you have done, it was for the best.You take your sister and your mother to next door, you know the family well enough, and though confused, they take care of them for the moment.>You grab a shovel from behind the houseYou attempt to drag your father's corpse out in to the wastes outside of town, after having taken the collar from your dog, Porkenstein.>Roll d20 for stealth>Roll d30 for progress in dragging.
rolled 3 = 3>>19302533Sneaky beaver mode.
rolled 19 = 19I AM THE NIGHT>stealth check
rolled 8 = 8>>19302533Rolling for dragging.
rolled 18 = 18>>19302533"forgive me gods, for i have sinned, but you only help those who seek it">roll to drag
rolled 20 = 20>>19302533Gotta drag fast!
rolled 12 = 12>>19302533I try to remain as stealthy as possible. Glancing at faithful Porkenstein's collar, I realize that it would be the perfect name for me, if I were somehow forced to abandon my old life.
rolled 6 = 6>>19302541I DRAG YOUR SOUL TO HELL AND I ROLL FOR DRAG
>>19302538>>19302550The ground is wet and thick beneath your feet, and you make little progress towards the hills.The sun has nearly set over the horizon.Porkenstein appears to be following you, growling at your father's corpse, or perhaps he's growling in to the darkness beyond town, at the wastes?>d30 to continue movingWhat now?
rolled 4 = 4>>19302571Keep dragging. Have Porkenstein help haul.
rolled 12 = 12>>19302571continue walking toward the waste, for it has seems to be infinity
rolled 22 = 22>>19302571Continue dragging.
rolled 4 = 4>>19302571keep dragging, ask porkensten to eat some of the bits so its getting lighter
rolled 21 = 21>>19302571oy DM these two rolls are actually high why u do dis>>19302558>>19302541
>>19302586You continue dragging, you're a moderate distance from town by now, but still not at the wastes, perhaps that's for the best?The sun has set, only the faintest light remains.Perhaps here would be the best place to bury him, in the filthy ground of the fields.Ashes to ashes, filth to filth."Forgive me gods, for i have sinned, but you only help those who seek it."Something tells you that this hour is not one for Gods to listen at.You bury your father in the ground, the earth is little more than sloppy mud, and he is half buried, half sinks in to the putrid earth.You mark the spot with a cross of twigs, topped with the collar of a dog. A man such as this shall be remembered forever as an animal.>Porkenstein is growling fiercely in to the darkness>Roll a d10What now?
rolled 9 = 9>>19302637Explore the darkness. With Porkenstein at my side, I am safe.
rolled 10 = 10>>19302637>>19302637see what did porkenstein spot, ready myself in ambush position, if the threat is big, run
rolled 9 = 9>>19302571CUT OUT THE HEART, AND FEAST UPON IT.
rolled 4 = 4Survey the area see what porkentsein is barking at.
rolled 10 = 10>>19302637Return to the house, heed Porkenstein's warning. There may be things in the darkness that we do not wish to meet.
rolled 1 = 1two 10? holy shit?
>>19302655"Porkenstein, what's gotten to you boy?"You grab his collar, following him in to the darknessYou spot a figure, lingering by a treeIt's far too thin to be a man, by god it doesn't even move like a man.It doesn't step, it just changes places sporadically, as though circling you.It doesn't seem to be coming past the edge of the woods>A voice thunders through your skull>"You and your kin are known to us now, slayer of monsters, watch the darkness always."It feels as though the words have been hammered through your skull and in to your mindWhat now?
rolled 1 = 1>>19302702who are you?
>>19302702Question the entity. "Who are you? WHAT are you?"
>>19302702Stay away from the edge of the woods."Who are you? What do you want from me?"
rolled 7 = 7>>19302717>>19302727yeah because creepy inhuman things that speak inside your skull are always so forthcoming.put on a stoic scowl as befits such speculations and wait for the thing to fuck off.
>>19302717>It begins to cackle at you, a maddening, high pitched cackle, it sounds like the jesters from the travelling fair.>"I am not a who, or a when, or a where, or a why. I am a something. Wouldn't it be a shame, to slay one monster, only to lose your family to another?"The cackling reaches a screeching crescendo, it feels as though your skull is splitting, until eventually it wears off.Porkenstein has gone quiet.What now?
BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK!
>>19302763Run home as quickly as possible. I must check on my family.
rolled 14 = 14Fall back
rolled 5 = 5>>19302763im not afraid, motherfucker>ready your shovels
>>19302763"If you come near my family I'll skullfuck you with my dogs dick"
>>19302774You run home through the darkness, falling and slipping as you go.By the time you make it back to town, you see flames larger than any hearth should be.You can hear the sound of men wailing, but you see your family running towards you out of the darkness.Your sister is crying and shouting your name, and your mother behind her is still visibly hurt.. her face is still bleeding.What now?
ask who he is
rolled 1 = 1>>19302814hurry to save them, give first aid, cry for help, and ask what happened
>>19302814Ask them what happened, try to find a section of cloth still clean and bandage our mother's face.
>>19302814Keeping close tabs on my family and Porkenstein, I investigate the fire.
>>19302814"Mother, sister. Run. Run as fast as you can, and never stop running. Come out, abomination! FACE ME!"
>>19302815sory posted too lateask what happened
>>19302833>>19302845>>19302846You run forwards, catching your mother and sister in your armsBy the Gods! They're hysterical, your mother takes a moment to realise it's you before she stops screaming and struggling!Your sister simply grabs hold of you and will not let go, you hear her whisper the words "He came back" over and over.You clean up your mother's face, it's actually mostly superficial, nothing seems broken and she isn't bleeding too bad right now.What now?
>>19302886Investigate the site of the fire. If your father came back, it's up to you to put him down once again, for the sake of your family. "Come, Porkenstein!"
rolled 16 = 16>>19302886He find who ever hurt our mother and show him true pain.
>>19302886father? seems like....its go time!>ready shovel, porkenstein berserk mode
>>19302849"Mother, sister. Run. Run as fast as you can, and never stop running. Come out, abomination! FACE ME!">You brandish your shovel in front of you like a knight of old!A figure approaches through the darkness, it's cackling...Oh god that cackling, it hurts...You check behind you, your mother and sister are running towards an old barn, one of the few structures not on fire.The beast seems to be made of many human skeletons, as it is a simulacrum of a man, but at least 8 feet tall... rotting flesh hangs off it, a thick swarm of flies comes before it.The monstrosity halts before you, it towers above you, regarding you with an idiot look in it's eyes...>Roll a d10>d20s any time you wish to attackWhat now?
rolled 7 = 7>>19302932Stab it in the cock.
rolled 3 = 3>>19302932RIGHTEOUS FURY
rolled 9 = 9>>19302932Does appear to have any weapons, besides its own skeletal hands?
rolled 8 = 8>>19302932Grab a firebrand and try to set it aflame! Also, swipe at it s legs with shovel.
rolled 16 = 16>>19302932Attack with my shovel, gouging at the face as quickly and violently as possible! Porkenstein ravages its left leg!
rolled 11 = 11>>19302932Let's knock it down to size.Aim for the knee joint of its right leg.
>>19302932SMITE AND TEAR TEAR AND SMITE HUUUGE EVIL
>>19302941>>19302943The beast lashes out with it's foot, delivering a kick which, if you hadn't dodged it, would probably have reduced you to a ruin of meat and bone just like itself, more food for the flies...>You strike at the beastYour blow is turned aside, the spade chips some of the shinbone away, but the beast seems unfazedA deep voice rumbles through the darkness... if the night could have a voice, then this would be it.>"You would actually stand before the minions of old night? Perhaps the worms of this generation have some hope after all. Submit, and learn the ways, or fight and perish as many have."Porkenstein has run in to the darkness in the direction your mother and sister wentWhat now?
rolled 7 = 7>>19303001Might help to roll.
>>19303009Run after Porkenstein with your ears covered.
>(Wont accept rolls that dont show the roll)
>>19303009Submit. Become badass dark warrior of doom. This is grimdark after all.
rolled 1 = 1>>19303009fight learning is for losers
rolled 15 = 15>>19303009Continue to battle. You will not submit to this agent of corruption! Assault its face, using your shovel in the manner of a spear, placing your entire body weight into the attack.
>>19303047it would seam the dice gods disagree
rolled 8 = 8>>19303043>>19303009We will summon our father's shade and torment him for the rest of our life.Necromancing time
rolled 5 = 5>>19303030MORE RIGHTEOUS FURY, SMITE THE MOTHERFUCKER IN THE ASS
>>19303009We did not slay one monster only to be bound in service to another.FIGHT!
rolled 4 = 4>>19303009Aim at where we hit the bone last time. Concentrate on a single point of failure.
>"Should you wish it, come to me, come to the barn, witness your initiation, save them or slay them, death hangs heavy in your destiny either way young one."The beast, lumbering and slow seems to lose interest in you as you begin running towards the barn.Within, you can see what looks to be many of the villagers, people you knew...>"Long has this world's debt to the Old Night gone unpaid, a great debt is owed to me, and all shall pay it."You see a small, hunched over figure at the back of the room, in front of your mother and sister.They're being held down by the villagers, the flesh on their bones seems to be bruising, the skin of the villagers is flaking off...Oh god what is this?What now?
"Let my family live, and my soul and body are yours"
>The great monstrosity has blocked the door behind you, but none in the barn appear to be paying attention to you.Well?
>>19303109Slay them. Slay them all. They are abominations now and our only salvation is to join the attackers.
>>19303109Run to my family, help them by any means necessary! Call to Porkenstein while en route. His help will be necessary!
rolled 2 = 2>>19303109rush to our family, stand between them and peril
rolled 15 = 15>>19303109Rage.Fury.Go. Berserk. Save. Our. Family.
>>19303150You run towards your family, spade held high in the manner of a berserker charging with his axe.No monster shall hurt them again.The head of the first villager rolls from it's shoulders, the hand releases its grasp on your sister's shoulder, and she gasps as though surfacing from drowning.>Continue to hackslash?
rolled 12 = 12>>19303129Start beating the villagers off of our mother and sister. Call for Porkenstein.
rolled 8 = 8>>19303187We are the reaper, and the villagers are wheat.Slay them all.
rolled 94 = 94>>19303187yreaaaaa
rolled 16 = 16>>19303187Continue destroying anything which threatens our family.
rolled 1 = 1>>19303187Do not stop until every undead villager has been hacked apart.
>>19303128Seconding this. When there's nothing left of these zombie-things to hack up or we're simply no longer able, pledging our services to this... This thing, is pretty much the only choice we'll have. Besides dying pointlessly, if gloriously, fighting a futile battle against it.
>>19303189"Porkenstein! At my side!">Porkenstein leaps through a barn window and lands on the small figure at the back of the barn, the flesh stops flaking off the villagers... they seem to regain lucidity.Your next blow knocks the villager from your mother with the flat side of the shovel, his face a red ruin, but he begins to get up again.A voice, dripping with the unimaginable malice of the grave, deafening for its restrained rage speaks.>"Cease this."Porkenstein backs away, cowed.The villagers cease to move.Your sister and mother rush at you, grabbing you tightly as the flesh golem looms above you.>"There is but a single way I will allow them to live. Submit to me, a hundred years under my will, and I will let you live a mortal life, but they will be without you."Your actions?
rolled 57 = 57>>19303255fuck you
rolled 15 = 15>>19303255Agreed. But my sister's maidenhead belongs to me.
rolled 10 = 10>>19303255Only if Porkenstein can come with me.
I will serve you, Grave Lord, but only if faithful Porkenstein comes along with me. You have your condition, I have mine.
>>19303268>The figure stands before you, a smug grin coalesces on a porcelain face behind the hood. It almost looks like a comedy mask..."I've taken your request under advisement... and I've reached a decision."".....oh?""My decision is that you can go and fuck yourself, monster.">The creature snarls and uncloaks itself, a slim porcelain doll... it looks like a man, but moves like a spider.>"Had I only KNOWN! That specimens such as you remained! You shall be tested."The creature seems to walk up the wall of the barn until directly above you.Your mother faints, your sister runs in to cover.>The golem begins to move againWhat now?
>>19303255Do it. We be villain nao to save family.
rolled 17 = 17>>19303349Throw anything and everything available at the porcelain face, attempting to shatter it.
rolled 19 = 19>>19303349We must attack and destroy the doll!Tell our sister to grab our mother and hide. Porkenstein! Protect mother!
The golem raises it's foot above your mother. You doubt every ounce of might you could muster could stop the force of that boot from coming down.>"I can taste your.... love for them... It's sickening."
rolled 53 = 53>>19303349test me with your worst infernal creature! FOR I HAVE MY FAMILIES BEHIND ME, AND YOU HAVE NONE! TO THE DEAAATH!pretend to charge him and flank the golem, strike it hard on the knee
rolled 2 = 2>>19303398go between mother and foot, smite the foot
rolled 20 = 20>>19303285>>19303275Da fuck OPWe'll serve it as long as we can fuck our sister and keep porkenstein
rolled 19 = 19>>19303398Do not attempt to stop the boot from coming down; rather, throw yourself at the golem as hard as possible, attempting to knock it off balance while it is standing on one foot.
>>19303418>>19303418Nat fucking 20, we'll serve it OP
rolled 14 = 14>>19303418Fuck no. We are beating this thing or die trying.>>19303398Crash into the side of the golem to throw its aim off.
>>19303386>>19303387You launch your spade as though it were the lance of Akoeth itself!It hits porcelain man square in the face, the mask shatters, half of it falls directly in front of you.He falls from the ceiling, and seems to fade from existance as he does so, cackling that hideous... lunatic sound as he goes.>With him no longer around, the automatons lose direction.The golem begins to falter stood above your motherRoll a d10 for reaction to try and save her!
>>19303445Then you are a fool as well as a faggot.
rolled 7 = 7>>19303456>>19303456SAAAAAFE
(I'm working off first responses for the moment gents, it's hard to get a consensus working, I'll use that from now on though if you'd prefer.)
rolled 3 = 3>>19303456Shove it with all our might and onto its ass, keep it from falling on and hurting anyone.
rolled 6 = 6>>19303456Tackle that golem out of the way!
rolled 9 = 9>>19303473get the highest roll from X amount of posts OPthat aside, roll to safe
rolled 9 = 9>>19303456No one shall harm our family!
>>19303471You manage to place yourself between the falling abomination and your mother just in time.It falls on you both, though you shield her for the most part.You feel ribs splinter and force themselves through the flesh of your back, your mother is still unsonscious.You manage to roll the creature off you... the flies are all dead...You can feel that you're bleeding, it feels like there's still something lodged in your back.Your sister has come out, she's screaming, she doesn't know what to do.>Many of the villagers simply drop dead on the spot, two or three, however, seem to come back to their former selvesWhat now?Roll a d100 to stay conscious
rolled 1 = 1>>19303527FIGHT! STAY AWAKE!
rolled 31 = 31>>19303527Tell the villages to take care of our family.
rolled 6 = 6Take the. Highest romm periodJust make sure no ones samefagging
rolled 79 = 79>>19303527LIIIIIIIIVE, DAMN YOU! LIVE! WHERE'S A MYSTICAL BEAST MACGUFFIN TO TRADE SOULS WITH WHEN YOU NEED IT?
rolled 99 = 99>>19303527Get our mother away from the remains of the golem, try to calm down our sister.
>>19303543Yeah... that was a d100. Epic fucking fail.
>>19303543I refuse to believe that you didnt roll a d1.
>>19303543You pass out to the sound of villagers screaming, your sister crying and your mother's shallow heartbeat.Roll a d10
rolled 33 = 33>>19303527dat 1 roll, roll to stay concious, ask family to follow us, nothing is safer than beside the char
>>19303564look at the email, dude. that's a legit d100 showing a 1. hahahahaha
rolled 8 = 8>>19303568God damn it OP the average roll was 43.2, THE AVERAGE WAS 43.2!
rolled 2 = 2>>19303568
rolled 10 = 10>>19303568rolling dat d10
rolled 5 = 5>>19303568>rolling
rolled 9 = 9>>19303583oh wow
>>19303583aww yeah. guys stop rolling. i got a d10!
>>19303543> oh gide my sides
>>19303543the worst roll I've ever seen. 1 on a d100... lol
>>19303578You stand on a cliff in front of a roiling ocean of colours. Where the ocean meets the cliffs, vile beasts seem to try and climb up out of the miasma."Is this death?">"NO. MORTAL. THOUGH. BY. ALL. RIGHTS. IT. SHOULD. BE."Even hearing it makes your wounds, your eyes, your very mind bleed."What is this?">"YOU. ARE. THE. FIRST. TO. WASH. UP. ON. MY. SHORES. SINCE. THE. AGE. OF. PROGENY."It sounds as though continents are grinding together to form words...And as though the words are bubbling up from the depths of that insane ocean of colour at the same time...>"TELL. ME. WHAT. YOUR. TRUEST. WISH. IS. MORTAL"What now?
>>19303648I wish that Porkenstein was immortal.
>>19303648my family in peace
haha oh wow, this thread should be renamed to porkenstein quest
>>19303648The safety of my family.
>>19303648"I wish the abomination's evil, and the evil of all its devil-spawned kin, purged from this world and every other!"
>>19303648That my family may live a save, carefree live.
>>19303648My sister's cunt.
For Porkenstein to duplicate
>>19302239>grimdark quest>doesn't begin with you being born from the corpse of your dead mother, rotting on a gibbet, in front of an unscrupulous band of mercenaries
>>19303705There can BE only ONE
>>19303708oy this is git
rolled 81 = 81>>19303679>>19303659Not just our ow family our descendants as well
>>19303687>>19303682>>19303679>"I. HEAR. THESE. WISHES. MORTAL. AND. THEY. SHALL. NEVER. BE. SO.">"I. AM. ETOTH. THE. TORTURER. AND. TO. FIND. YOURSELF. BEFORE. ME. IS. NO. BLESSING."You wake up with a start, it's dark... and you feel something in your hand.You can't hear or see a thing... but you feel as though you're being shaken around.What now?
>>19303736Search around us with the hand that's not holding something.
>>19303736Flail about. Works every time.
>>19303750>You flail in to the darkness with your hand, you feel something warm... sound filters backYou can hear the clop of hooves on a cobbled road, and see the mist of breath in the airSeems like we've been strapped to a horse...What now?
>>19303736Will a message to the being that is Etoth while our consciousness is still between realms. A simple message, no more than a statement, two sentences."I am coming for you. No matter who or what gets in my way, I am coming for you."
>>19303736deepen my concentration, try to sense what is going onOP better make it grimdark eh!
>>19303767try to stand
>>19303769THIS OP THISSSS
>>19303767Pop a boner and go to town on ourself. That should get someones attention
>>19303769>>19303777You think a warning to Etoth, but with no response, you can't tell if it has worked or not...>You move, attempting to stand upYour movement spooks the horse, roll a d100 to avoid being thrown.
>>19303803got a 1 last time... due for a 100
rolled 3 = 3>>19303803Welp, this is going to hurt, but it probably won't be anything life-threatening.
rolled 83 = 83Vow to destroy etothFind his motal god rival and assist him in killing etoth
rolled 56 = 56>>19303803stand like a man
rolled 67 = 67>>19303803
rolled 91 = 91>>19303814oops I mean
rolled 12 = 12>>19303803Horse. I am Caim. Be calm, friend.
>>19303803Wait, how are we getting thrown if we're firmly strapped to it?
rolled 33 = 33>>19303803balance!
>>19303817oh tg you did it again......
>>19303823Fuck gods. We are a MAN!A MAN! With something to protect to be more specific.
Where is Porkenstein?? That has to be our #1 priority. We MUST FIND PORKENSTEIN.
>>19303817You are thrown from the saddle, the horse gallops away towards a townYou land on the floor, hands bound behind your back, face first in to the hard cobbles of the road. You hear a crack, your nose is without a doubt completely mangled.>A voice calls, a lantern is closing in on the road."You there! Halt! Who goes there!">For some reason you don't pass out.What now?
>>19303866"Have you seen a dog anywhere around here?"
>>19303838On a fail like that, the straps breaks my friend
>>19303880"Have you seen a dog anywhere around here?">"There's one with that horse that just ran in to town... WAIT! Who are you first! And what's that in your hand?" he corrects himself, trying to assume an air of authority.You can feel porcelain in your hand... What now?
>>19303866"Glurgle burlge flgrmph oh gods my nose hurts"
>>19303901"The name's Caim."Take a look at what's in our hand before answering that question.
>>19303901My name is Rufflebluff. I'm just a simple traveller. I don't really know what this is, I found it on the ground. Do you know?
>>19303906"Glurgle burlge flgrmph oh gods my nose hurts"You look over at him>"OH FUCK, YEAH, I'LL BET IT DOES! Shit, get up, we need to get you some help right now man."He pulls you up to your feetHe seems to be wearing a loose chain shirt, a sallet helm, and fine goatskin boots.He's holding a lantern and has a small shortsword strapped at his waistWhat now?
>>19303928Look at the object being held.
>>19303937>You look over your shoulder and see that you are holding half of a porcelain comedy mask
>>19303954Hold the half mask up to my face.
>Porkenstein runs up and jumps at you, jumping up and wagging his tailHe seems happy to see you up and about, he's whining though... in the way that dogs cry
>>19303977Give Porkenstein a gigantic hug! Pet him and ruffle his fur! "Good boy!"
>>19303977"Good boy, Porkenstein."
>>19303962>You hold the mask up to your faceThe cackling returns, oh god it fucking hurts"Hey, what the hell are you doing! Come on we've gotta get you some help.">Bark bark bark bark barkYou take the mask off your face, the blood from your ruined nose has turned black on contact with the mask... it seems to be disappearing...
>>19303954persuade him to give you shelter
rolled 35 = 35Ask what village this is and ask how far we are from our village and if they have news of the place
>>19304010"Yeah... Yeah, sorry. I've... Seen things, in one night, that no man should ever see. Just get me to a doctor, and a scribe."
>>19304010"Please for the love of god get me to a doctor, oh god it hurts oh GOD"
>>19304027The pain recedes, you notice Porkenstein licking you, you kneel down to him."Good boy, Porkenstein." You ruffle his fur, he seems happy, looks like he's grinning at you."Yeah... Yeah, sorry. I've... Seen things, in one night, that no man should ever see. Just get me to a doctor, and a scribe.">"Alright man, come on, I know a doctor in town""Do..do you know where... what's this place called?">"This is Iblisholme, on the river slyme"uh... nice... yeah nice name"He takes you in to town, it's night time but the streets are still full! God damn, this place is fancier than you've ever seen! They have stone roads!He walks you over to a ramshackle looking building, though its still a palace by the standards of your old home.>"Just in there man... good luck with that."What now?
>>19304086Go inside, keeping Porkenstein close.
>>19304086"Thanks bro, oh, if you see (give description of our mother and sister) tell them that the horse apparently bucked my unconscious ass off hard enough to break the straps and that I'll get back to them soon"Then I guess we go inside.
Porkenstein is a fucking all-star dog. Fights monsters with you, takes away the pain of a mask mind-rape, somehow avoided being killed by drunk dad... Clear hero of the story, imo.
>>19304104You call Porkenstein over, pushing open the door and walk in to the musty old place.You're met with a decrepit old man in a hide apron>"OH! Hello! Hello hello hello! Another subj- patient! Patient patient patient! You're a patient of course! How can I help you?!"You point towards the very obviously smashed up face he's staring at with his goggled, beady eyes...What now?
>>19304144helo doctor, heard any rumour lately? maybe of the...darker side....
>>19304144Fix me. I can't pay, but I'm sure we can work something out. Suggestively wink.
>>19304144leave. by all that is holy, LEAVE.
>>19304163>>19304160"Hey doc, can you fix me up? I got no money ... but ... we can work something out right?">"Oh yes! Yes yes, I need subjects for a new medicine I'm testing out anyway. I'll fix your face if I can test out this new compound I've developed on you!"He flicks a syringe and looks at you expectantly.
>>19304198bring it on docs
>>19304198"... What does it do?"
"... What does it do?">"I have no idea! That's why I need to test it you fool! Quickly now, I'm very busy!"Porkenstein is growling.
>>19304216no doc, any other alternatives? it looks dangerous
>>19304216"Did you consider testing it on some form of vermin first, rather than a human subject?"
>>19304236"no doc, any other alternatives? it looks dangerous">"Well ... I can always test it on a dog! Or ... I'm always looking for kidneys if you have one or two spare?"What now?
>>19304244"Did you consider testing it on some form of vermin first, rather than a human subject?">"Yes I did, and I am offended that you might think that I hadn't thought to!"He seems rather indignant, but then turns around and quickly scribbles something down on his notepad.What now?
>>19304258well shit, no, do you have any work to do? perhaps you need a muscle or two *see porkenstein* to do some "gathering" for you? or do you have a friend in need? really? nothing? ok then bring it on, stab it FAST DOC
>>19304258donate a kidney. not risking our life, especially not Porkenstein's on some mutagen.
>>19304270Y'know I once heard that insane people make the best Doctors and Scientists, for they are the only ones who dare to think of the strange.That sound like you by chance?
>>19304282>Donate a Kidney>In a Medieval Fantasy World>Not risking our lifeI think you are grossly overestimating the medical knowledge and practices of this world bro.
"Y'know I once heard that insane people make the best Doctors and Scientists, for they are the only ones who dare to think of the strange.That sound like you by chance?">"Oh you flatter me young man! Tell you what, I'll fix your face for you, and then afterwards, I'll show you a thing or two about my trade if you're interested? I've been looking for an apprentice of sorts..."What now?
>>19304282>Having a Kidney removed in a Medieval Fantasy time period>Not dangerous as fuckUh....
>>19304313Words cannot describe how shocked I am that what I wrote actually worked.Holy shit.
rolled 58 = 58>>19304313this... doesn't sound half bad.Go for it.
>>19304313"sure doc, any knowledge is a useful knowledge, so when are we starting? any basics i need to cover?"
>>19304313"Well, if you're a scribe in addition to being a doctor, I might be inclined to take that offer.
>>19304328>"Well, first things first..."The doc grabs the back of your head and grabs your nose, twists and yanks itDespite the excruciating pain of the procedure, and the fact that you're quite sure there must have been a better way, the doc gives you a mirror to look in, and through all of the blood, you see your nose looks pretty much the same as usual, but for a slight kink.>"Now young man, come and have a look at what I've been doing with my towering intellect of late!"The doctor sweeps a curtain aside, leading in to a room beyond the first room, the walls are shelved, covered in jars containing all sorts, eyes, organs, blood, gelatinous matter of unknown origins...>"Look! Look at my genius!"All you can see is a faint green glow at the back of a cage set far in to the wall.Porkenstein doesn't seem to like it in here, he's whining again.What now?
>>19304374is the cage closed? if so, approach slowly
>>19304374what is that?
>>19304374"It's... Interesting, but I'm not certain what it is. Is it some kind of magic... In a cage? The glow doesn't seem natural. How do you even cage magic?"
>>19304389The cage is closed>"That! Young man! Is the soul of a young girl I found wandering around outside town about a week ago!""Wait, wait what?!">"Oh don't worry lad, it's fine! I can put it back inside her whenever I like!"What now?
>>19304405"Where's... Where's the young girl's body?"
>>19304405"who is she? have you ask her? DID SHE HAS A BROTHER?????"
>>19304405Better make sure it wasn't our sister.This place CAN'T be too close to our little shitstain of a village, and we have NO idea how long we have been unconscious, considering our back isn't screaming in agony it seems like quite a while.If it's not out sister, proceed to give Zero fucks.
>>19304415>>19304417"SHOW ME THE GIRL'S BODY! SHOW ME IT RIGHT, FUCKING, NOW!!">"What's wrong lad? She's fine, I swear it to you! I can put it back in her body right now if you like... I think.""FUCKING SHOW ME"He takes you into a side room, and there, sitting in a large chair eating biscuits in front of a fireplace, is your little sister.>"See! She's perfectly happy without it!"Your sister looks over at you"Caim!" she squeals and runs over to you, wrapping her arms around your legs."Are you okay? Where's mother?"She just nodsWhat now?
>>19304448Take the man's injection, we could get super powers!
>>19304448fuuuuuuuuuck"how are you sister? are you hurt? doc could you please restore her soul? is she beyond help?"
>>19304448Doctor, while I appreciate the fact that you took good care of my younger sister, surely you can understand that I find it most disconcerting that she is hugging me while her soul is sitting in a cage in the other room, I would kindly ask you to put it back.
rolled 37 = 37>>19304448" I'll only ask this once because you fixed my nose,Sir, please give my sister her soul back."
>>19304448"She... She seems okay... But you took out her soul! What does that even mean for her? They aren't supposed to be separated, it just seems wrong. But I've seen worse in the past... Past... Sister, how long has it been since the monsters came?"
>>19304474This.We gotta be polite, The Good Doctor is a bit insane but he did fix our face, and surely he would understand why we find this uncomfortable.It also wouldn't hurt to inform that we wouldn't give half a damn if it wasn't our sister, so we aren't opposed to his experiment, just who the subject is.
>>19304474>>19304492These, we gotta be calm and collected, save the rage for the times when blood MUST be shed.
>>19304467>>19304474"Doc, give her back her soul, right now...">"Oh? Yes alright, alright then"You take Lily with the old Doc, he opens the cage door and grabs... is that a fucking butterfly net?>"Wait here, these things are pretty wiley!"You watch in awestruck confusion as the old doctor runs around in the cage trying to catch your sister's soul inside a butterfly net.Eventually, he nabs it, places the thing in a bottle and tells your sister to just drink it...>"I tell you what though, people really dont need them... they're just baggage really, and I can use them to bring back the dead! Well... in a way... Would you like me to teach you?"What now?
>>19304522Ask him if there was someone in here not too long ago asking that exact question, who the fuck animated that bone thing?
>>19304522That would be nice of you Doctor, but please, Know that I am not apposed to your experiment as you may think, just the subject of it.
>>19304522i will be honest with you doc, i need power, to protect those i love and i held dear, just say the price for it, i will do it>fuck yeah necromancer/barbarian multiclass
>>19304540Just the subject you chose*
>>19304522"The last time I saw the undead was when they were the possessed corpses and still-living bodies of all of my friends, butchering one another and trying to butcher my family. I had to take a shovel to them, while a cackling marionette puppeteered them with unspeakable black magics. I'm really not interested in your manipulations of the soul right now, doctor."
>>19304541Necromancer / Knight multiclass you mean.Gotta get that delicious plate armor eventually.
>>19304565i have a soft spot for berserker but okay, full plate wearing necromancer sounds fun also
"Uh, doc... I just wanna say, I don't have a problem with your experiments or anything, in fact ... its pretty interesting to me! I'd just rather we didnt use my little sis to experiment on okay?">"Oh yes certainly lad, not to worry, you seem like a loving brother, I remember how my brothers used to look after me.. heh... yes of course. But for me to teach you, I'll be needing a soul or two to show you how it's done. I prefer volunteers, but criminals are fine too."He looks at you expectantly"Wait, what? You want me to go and get someone?">"Well... yes, what else is an assistant for?""I... er... uh... Doc, did anyone come through here recently asking you about your ... studies?">"Only a couple of my colleagues, no one worth noting really, none of them are talented enough to manage what I have. Now chop chop lad, those souls wont collect themselves!"What now?
>>19304602We go get that man some souls, that's what! Let's hit the streets and offer hot meals to the homeless.
>>19304602"after i got the criminals please do tell me about of your colleagues, particularly the one with maniacal laughter nad mask"
>>19304602I guess we go walk around and make DAMN sure we walk close to dark alleys and backways.I hardly think anyone will care if some thugs or pickpockets were...let's say...made use of.
>>19304602Well, go out and collect those willing to try a crazy experiment into the realms of the divine metaphysics of their very souls, obviously.And also, can I make a note that things seem to have taken a turn out of the grimdark and into comedic gray fantasy?
>>19304638This is /tg/The fuck did you expect?
>>19304638Yes, this is interesting. There was Knight's Quest, that was meant to be a light hearted adventure that got real grimdark real fast. And then there's this where the start was grimdark and now we've got Professor Farnsworth as a mentor.
>>19304663>>19304664I guess that fellow posting about how /tg/'s fetish is derailing everything was completely correct. It's uncanny.
>"Alright lad, I rather think if you're going to be my apprentice then you should dress the part!"He opens up a chest and pushes it over towards you.Inside the chest is:>One pair of plate mail gauntlets>One plague doktor mask>One black leather jacket and apron>Two white linen shirts>Knee high black leather boots and breeches>A fine red silk waistcoat>A knife where the hilt is in fact a small syringe...What do?
>>19304685i guess /tg/ makes a pretty good DM, doing shit on the fly and minimizing the power of railroad, or railroading the denizen of tg while making them feels like derailing the plot, just as keikaku style
>>19304707>Plague Doctor MaskFuck yeah.Now, now we hit the streets and offer whatever the undesirables want in exchange for following us back to the laboratory.
>>19304541Necromancer/Barbarian multiclass... Hmmm, do approve.
>>19304707>One pair of plate mail gauntlets>One plague doktor mask>One black leather jacket and apron>Two white linen shirts>Knee high black leather boots and breeches>A fine red silk waistcoat>A knife where the hilt is in fact a small syringe...take all, roll the street, aqcuire criminalsI AM THE NIGHT
I'll be back in a moment guys, gonna have a smoke
>>19304707Doctor, while I DO love the Mask and the plate gauntlets, I believe it would be MUCH easier to...find some subjects if we did not, in fact, look the part.I'm sure you can understand why some crimina-SUBJECTS would rather not approach an individual in Plague Doctor gear, I'm afraid that the redressing will have to wait until I find these subjects.
>>19304707This man, eccentric as he is, has given us a future. He saved our sister. We have a fighting chance at figuring out how to destroy the abominations under his tutelage.It's time to suit the fuck up.
>>19304707Yesss this pleases me. READY YOURSELF FOR SCIENCE!
>>19304745This is where I have to disagree. I think we should don the garb, go out, find the "Subjects" and tell them we're inoculating people to stop the spread of plague.
>>19304745because I AM THE NIGHT, WEMOVE IN THE DARK AND KIDNAP THUGS WHILE IN DAYLIGHT WE DROWN IN WENCHES dude
from lowly peasant seemingly falling to the dark side, wrestle himself out from the grasp of fate with hideous roll, an animal companion, into a plague doctor - batman - necromancerlong journey we have i say!>gotta keep entertained until op finished his smoke
As you suit the fuck up, your sister walks up to you"Caim, I haven't seen mother since I came here, do you think she's alright?""Yeah sis, I think what ever's happened, she's either watching over us, or I'll find her soon, I promise you Lil"You stride out of the doc's building in your new attire, carrying a small doctor's bag for added effectWhere do you go? What do you say? Detail your plans for finding subjects
>>19304833We hit the alehouses, a drunkard is very gullible. We'll just play the pied piper and lead them back.
>>19304772Stop thinking with your Dick.Protecting sis is more important then fucking some vile harlot
>>19304833The outlying areas of the Slums, we can find some homeless and bluff them that they are showing the starting symptoms of a plague and that we can offer them a cure, even if the procedure is a little bit strange. The "Strange" part should be emphasized, as it would cover the fact that we will remove their soul to work on their body.But we won't tell them that we will remove their soul, just that the procedure is strange.
>>19304875I like you and your verbal loopholes.
>>19304833I say we should be honest. Say that we are looking for volunteers to a divine experiment, and that they will be compensated. The good Doctor says he prefers volunteers after all.
>>19304833wait until night, wait unitl thugs mugged a pretty lady in dark alley, beat the shit out of those thugs, and walk away with thugs in tow, on rope>>19304857is batman playing around chicks for real? no he do it to have a front
>>19304875Forgot to mention, if the Doctor dislikes our choice of gaining some volunteers, we tell him that it wasn't exactly a PHYSICAL plague we were talking about, But a Plague of the Soul.
You head to a small drinking hole on the poor side of townYou pass by an awful lot of people who actually do look rather sickEventually you come to the place, drunken sots everywhere, you can hear a bar brawl going on inside... nice placeA guy runs up to you, slurring his words, though he seems rather well dressed...>"HEY DOC! You a doc right? I's real sick doc...">Roll a d10
rolled 5 = 5>>19304931TELL ME WHAT AILS YOU!
rolled 8 = 8>>19304931roll
"TELL ME WHAT AILS YOU!"The man near jumps out of his skin, and falls on his backside, and runs away...DarnYou can see that he's just run in to a dark alleyway next to the drinking hole.What do?
rolled 8 = 8>>19304961Follow him, of course. Say that was to make sure he had no demons in him, and that if he did we'd scared them all out.
>>19304976WE ARE BEST APPRENTICE SCIENTIST DOCTOR MAN!
>>19304961This is obviously a trap, he's a middle-class career criminal trying to take our shit. Search for some other fine fellow to take as a volunteer. Preferably one less skittish and obviously criminalistic.
rolled 2 = 2>>19304961chase him, cautiously, prepare to give him a beating
>>19304976You follow the guy in to the alleywayAs you step in there you see a local harlot talking to the man, he seems to be looking to her for protection...As you step in to the alley he hides behind her, she seems to hold herself high and proud... with the poise of a duelist.She's wearing a a ruffled doll dress, cut at the knee, garters and a wig like you ain't never seen, must be a high class working girl.She calls out at you"Doc, why are you shouting at little Johnny here? He's a little slow but please be nice to him..."What say or do?
>>19305029I apologize, this mask is somewhat unruly and I have had issues conveying words through it lately, forgive me for startling the boy as I was only attempting to make sure he heard me correctly.
rolled 1 = 1>>19305029THE MAN ASKED FOR MEDICAL AID! I SHALL GIVE IT TO HIM!
>>19305029"I was trying to emulate my mentor with a little, uh... Bombasticness, I think it's called. I didn't mean to frighten him; it was showmanship. My apologies, madame."
>>19305029are we willing to sacrifice an innocent here? stick to my plan, wait fo the night, get some REAL criminalend does not justify the means
>>19305046Make sure we go FULL Gentleman here, bow, curtsy, offer our hand to her if we must.
"I apologize, this mask is somewhat unruly and I have had issues conveying words through it lately, forgive me for startling the boy as I was only attempting to make sure he heard me correctly.">"...yeah Johnny has been seeming sick lately, you say you'll treat him? We don't have all that much cash..."She walks over to you and proffers her hand>"I'm Lexi, and this is my brother Johnny, you don't mind if I come with you right? He's a little younger in the head than he looks if you know what I mean..."
>>19305066Right now we are just offering an explanation, if we TRULY do not want to take the boy, we can just say that we are a very specialized Doctor and are afraid that the Boy is suffering from something we are not capable of treating properly.
>>19305081No, it's alright. I don't think you'd be interested in the cures I have to offer. Wait until dark.
>>19305081Soft in the ol' noggin, eh? Don't worry, my teacher is a good man, Johnny will be fine.
>>19305095The quest is called Grimdark, and what better souls than those of the Innocent?
>>19305081Madam, forgive me, but I am a very...specialized Doctor, and may not be able to treat what sickness he has, however I will see what we can do.
>>19305081we can take the boy and the criminal, i mean the doctor can manipulate soul without killing right, cue soul placed to wrong body and hijinks ensued
>>19305095"No, it's alright. I don't think you'd be interested in the cures I have to offer.">"No doc! I'm sorry, I'm real sorry! We're really poor you see, I don't mind how you help Johnny, can you at least try for me? I'll be really thankful.... he aint been right lately"She puts her hands together pleadingly, looking at you with them big puppy dog eyes.What say/do?
>>19305131Well, our sister was fine, and Johnny wouldn't mind. We can do both! Take his soul and cure him!
>>19305131Alright, but I'm going to have to take you to my boss. Maybe he can help you.Lead them to the good doctor.
>>19305131"fine, but if there are complications, i am not to blame"take him, wait till night to get another soul, doc said its 2 rite
>>19305131Madam, I...(take her hand) am unsure of how to say this properly, but my medical practices are...strange, and might have complications that I would not wish upon you or yours.
>>19305131"I'm not certain if this cure for the soul can cure the body as well... But it's worth a try. Very well, I'll see to it the good doctors helps your brother. You should come with him, of course."
>>19305131How about we ask them to visit the doctors place tomorrow? We can find another victim for the experiment for now and it'll give us time to ask our new master to help as a favour.
>>19305158>>19305159Combine These, let's go FULL GENTLEMAN.
"Alright, but I'm going to have to take you to my boss. Maybe he can help you.">"Oh thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou!"She grabs you and plants a big kiss on your plague doktor maskYou gesture out of the street"Ladies first, madame"You lead her back to the Doc's place and bring them insideLily and Porkenstein are waiting with hugs and slobber respectively as you walk in to the door.What d'ya say or do?
>>19305177Alright Doc, I want you to explain to these people how you can help them. EXACTLY how you can help them.
>>19305177"Got two fresh ones fer ya, in no time flat. Now teach me your ways."
>>19305177"doc, these are he patients, lets begin the procedure"close the door slowly, menacingly
>>19305159You take off your plague mask"I'm not certain if this cure for the soul can cure the body as well... But it's worth a try. Very well, I'll see to it the good doctors helps your brother. You should come with him, of course."You take her hand with a gentlemanly bow and lead her in to the doctor's room."I will do my very best to make sure that he isn't harmed! My own sister went through this very treatment, and as you can see she is none the worse! I have great faith in the doktor."What say or do?
>>19305209"Doctor, I have a patient and volunteer for your experimental treatment. This lady's brother is sick; I believe it may be the plague. Shall we begin?"
"now please wait in here my lady, i assure you nothing will go wrong"ask the doctor to start the god damn procedure and teach us soul bending
>>19305209I think it's about time to learn some necromancy rituals. Pay close attention to the Doc
Man, /tg/ seems to have some people with really good Bluff / Speech-craft stats in this thread.
>>19305238It's rather out of character, considering we were but a peasant boy before. And now we're practically a gentleman.I think it might have been a positive effect of the marionette abomination's mask's influence, actually. We'll have to look into that; the cackling is terrible, but it seems to have provided us with knowledge, wisdom and refinement beyond our years.
As you lead them in to the room, Doc perks up and jumps out of his seat"Oh would you look at these two fine specimens! Now, if you'll both just sit still while I begin the soul extraction process!">"The what extraction? WHAT?!"You lean over to her, placing a hand on her shoulder"I swear to you, he'll be alright, I've seen the Doc's work, he really is good at what he does."The doctor is currently sterilising a tray of syringes which appear to be filled with a crystalline blue substance"This, young Caim, is the extraction agent! I call it Cobalite! Now watch closely."What say / do? Comfort / reassure Lexi?
(Guys, is the thread autosaging?)
>>19305257My very own sister went through this procedure, and had her soul placed back none the worse for wear, perhaps even better, as it made treating her...other symptoms easier.Doesn't matter if we lie or not, but we gotta reassure her.
>>19305257It's alright, Lexi. My sister had her soul removed as well, and it can be put back any time. There is no risk, I promise.
Take her out of the room. We can lose our virginity with her later, assuming we still have it
>>19305254If OP is cool with it let's go with the mask did it.
>>19305254it really is grimdark underneath eh>>19305257hold her chin and whispher"please rest assured Lexi, I am not a liar, you saw my sister before, she is still a fine young girl despite her soul separated from her body, now relax....."give her a soft stroking on her hair
>>19305257'Trust the doctor, most of the sicknesses come from a weakening of the soul and here we can fix it.'
>>19305284>I have plans for that, worry not>I'm fine with that, the mask is doing things
>>19305276seems so, are we archiving this?
>>19305309COMMENCING THREAD NUMERO DUO
>>19305318give us the link when done...
Porkenstein is the greatest canine in the history of