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    397 KB Zerg Quest LXXX Cerebrate Anon 03/28/12(Wed)20:58 No.18494474  

    While the surface of Dyles' planet cools into stained glass, cracked and broken with the landscape, the humans are in celebration at our announcement that the war is over. Their news feeds show global jubilation, revelry on an interstellar level. It's kind of stirring, really.

    Meanwhile, Felanis' second fleet continues to travel, with its forged map showing it where several "compromised" planets are, with our Cerebrate Salem Saberhagen setting up an elaborate ruse to look like a glorious campaign for the Protoss when they arrive.

    Also, Accountantbrate is building a financial empire in the UED to slowly gain complete economic control of humanity. So far, it's off to a rocky start, but we've got faith in Accountantbrate's business acumen.

    (Two things! First, I work on the 4th. Do you want to play on the 3rd or the 6th? Second, roll 2d100 for Accountantbrate!)
    >> TUCAMP 03/28/12(Wed)21:07 No.18494557
    rolled 79, 18 = 97

    Did we have a zerg rendition of the time square sailor/nurse kiss picture? And either day works for me.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/28/12(Wed)21:09 No.18494582
    Artisanlord isn't entirely sure the Terrans will accept a picture of a defiler kissing a drone.
    >> TUCAMP 03/28/12(Wed)21:14 No.18494637
    WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe.
    >> Anonymous 03/28/12(Wed)21:17 No.18494659
    rolled 98 = 98


    We need to take advantage of the fevour of the war.

    Have Artisanlord begin production of a war movie, featuring the defence of earth and featuring a romantic subplot between a fictional human crewman and a zerg liaison.

    That should be interesting.
    >> TUCAMP 03/28/12(Wed)21:18 No.18494670
    And the protoss harlot who tries to stop their LOVE!
    >> Anonymous 03/28/12(Wed)21:20 No.18494685
    Bah, people never understand art!

    Anyways: what exactly was the plan with giving the 'toss a fake map? They're just going to find a bunch of world full of unorganized Dyles units. Are we just trying to bleed the toss a bit?

    I was in the "hit the UED with the infestation missiles" camp and I am a sad panda. Oh well.

    Maybe we can look into hitting the Dominion worlds with them instead?
    >> Anonymous 03/28/12(Wed)21:21 No.18494690
    I jumped right from liason to human/zerg porn.

    I need some brain bleach.
    >> Anonymous 03/28/12(Wed)21:24 No.18494731
    rolled 28 = 28


    The dominion is our protectorate.

    And more human drones is something we can produce ourselves. Free thinking humans are something we'll be able to find a use for, probably, instead of just more vassals.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/28/12(Wed)21:25 No.18494740
    Accountantbrate gives us an excited status report, detailing a series of deals it has made in acquiring market penetration across a dozen worlds. It only had to infest a few rival businessmen; the rest was complete--mostly legitimate. It's found a little black market trade in human organs, and wants to know if it should dabble.

    >fake map

    I believe the plan was just to give Felanis something to brag about, since he thanked us, once.

    >infestation missiles

    Toaster pipes in that we still have the missiles, if we ever change our mind!


    The what? No such thing.
    >> TUCAMP 03/28/12(Wed)21:27 No.18494764
    I was also in that camp, but ultimately decided that buying them was far sillier, and here at Zerg Quest LLC we pride ourselves on silliness.
    >> TUCAMP 03/28/12(Wed)21:31 No.18494807
    Sell 'all-natural' human organs, obviously. In that they are lightly infested organs we harvest from out clones. Might want to set up a medical supply company an just sell them legit, or do both. Really we have plenty of heart for them. Also, how goes our ghost breeding program? Any noticeable increase in psionic ability?
    >> Anonymous 03/28/12(Wed)21:32 No.18494813
    rolled 77 = 77


    If it can do so with deniability.

    Most likely, users of the black market trade will be those in high positions, able to use money to purchase organs instead of waiting in the queue. Do so will nab us favours from individuals in the higher strata of society.

    We will have to be careful of pesky journalist. Tell accountantbrate to diversify into the infostream/new industry. Being able to 'remove' investigations, unfair reports and manipulate public opinion will speed up the work, while maintaining an extra layer of cover.
    >> Anonymous 03/28/12(Wed)21:35 No.18494844
    >lightly infested organs

    Oh man, we could build in a genetic timer where after 20 years of use, the organs produce infestation spores inside the people.

    If there's a large enough demand for organs, we could infest a significant chunk of the population without using our missiles.
    >> Anonymous 03/28/12(Wed)21:41 No.18494900
    rolled 76 = 76


    Probably not a good idea.

    Those who purchase these organs will probably have them throughly scanned for infectious diseases and ailments. Our spores will be picked up.

    The illegal nature of this operation also means that when the cops come down on it, they'll be running all sorts of tests on them and we'll be rumbled, way too soon.

    Better to corner this market, now; introduce legislation at the UED supreme council level, legalising the sale of human organs to willing buyers for medical transplants. When it comes into effect, we can gain a large foothold in this market and then eventually use it for the upcoming infection.
    >> TUCAMP 03/28/12(Wed)21:41 No.18494903

    I think we can start the designer organ market.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/28/12(Wed)21:45 No.18494943
    >Yes: 2
    >No: 1

    Am I counting right?
    >> Anonymous 03/28/12(Wed)21:48 No.18494981
    rolled 94 = 94


    >>18494900 here.

    The no is in selling infested organs. It's way too early. Mark me for a yes.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/28/12(Wed)21:56 No.18495062
    Accountantbrate is a bit nervous about this, but ultimately agrees with us: the opportunity for more profit is worth the risk! Besides, with discreet shipments from our cloning labs, it can double or triple its chance!

    So far, so good.
    >> TUCAMP 03/28/12(Wed)21:58 No.18495085
    Huzzah! Everyone gets a top hat!
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/28/12(Wed)22:05 No.18495167
    You guys want to keep running a financial empire, do something new, or should I come up with something?
    >> Anonymous 03/28/12(Wed)22:06 No.18495176
    rolled 20 = 20


    lil' sis has control of a number of high level politicians right?

    Ask if she can continue to expand her influence and try to take control of one of their political parties.
    >> Anonymous 03/28/12(Wed)22:07 No.18495184
    rolled 65 = 65


    Whats the situation now with accountantbrate's fledging empire?
    >> TUCAMP 03/28/12(Wed)22:11 No.18495224
    I say poke the worldship! It's been too long, I'm having withdrawal symptoms. And my poke I mean ask cyberbrate if hes done doing through what we downloaded from it.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/28/12(Wed)22:11 No.18495225
    Everything in >>18494740, plus an exciting new venture into the organ harvesting black market.

    (Roll 1d50 to see how she's been doing since last we checked)
    >> TUCAMP 03/28/12(Wed)22:22 No.18495335
    rolled 32 = 32

    And we should sell then encyclopedias. Just stuff they should already know. Or "The Complete History of the Swarm" written in a language we make up, and it actually isn't about the swarm, just a massive collection of screen plays from earth.
    >> Anonymous 03/28/12(Wed)22:27 No.18495397
    rolled 11 = 11

    Oh, you know what we should do? Send a Heighliner with a small colonization force, and send it to another galaxy, like say, Andromeda. We have the Heighliner programmed to automatically return after a set amount of time.

    This way we can test the very limits of psionic control, and begin infesting a COMPLETELY NEW AND VIRGIN GALAXY!
    >> TUCAMP 03/28/12(Wed)22:31 No.18495438
    rolled 39 = 39

    No need to make things complicated. We should stick with out current convoluted plans, and buy the UED and infest the toss. What are our current chances in a fight with he toss, assuming we're going for maximum infestation and not extermination?
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/28/12(Wed)22:35 No.18495488
    Kerrigan tells us about her minority control of the Directorate's government. It's very difficult to get anybody into the military branches, but she has a decent handle on administrative and judicial officials. Not enough to pass anything outlandish, but if we have a gentler agenda to push, she can give it a try.

    Let's stick to one galaxy at a time...
    >> Anonymous 03/28/12(Wed)22:36 No.18495511
    >Let's stick to one galaxy at a time...
    Oh very well.

    How is progress on getting Cyberbrate fully operational?
    >> LordHighlander !tHPBvczhcc 03/28/12(Wed)22:36 No.18495513
    How much of the galaxy is explored?
    >> Anonymous 03/28/12(Wed)22:37 No.18495517
    rolled 95 = 95


    Not for now. Have her continue to ensare the majority of the parliment.

    When both left and right belong to us, we control the UED.
    >> TUCAMP 03/28/12(Wed)22:38 No.18495530
    Declare the Trilobite to be the Directorate fossil. And periodic other meaningless crap that legislative bodies do. Or not, really I just wanted to inject trilobites into the quest.
    >> TUCAMP 03/28/12(Wed)22:40 No.18495558
    Not much, but with Xel'Naga cartography and heighliners, we can probably map every planet in a month or less. We should get on that, and take samples of all life we find, and let Nargil have fun with them.
    >> LordHighlander !tHPBvczhcc 03/28/12(Wed)22:41 No.18495572
    Let us proceed then. I want to have the galaxy at our fingertips.

    So we can then move on to the next one.
    >> Anonymous 03/28/12(Wed)22:42 No.18495584
    Seconded. Let's encircle both the UED and the Protoss without them even knowing about it.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/28/12(Wed)22:44 No.18495611
    Cyberbrate is fully operational, actually. Its processors are idling, mostly, except for what it takes to finish testing on the mobile relays for the Terminators. It fully believes they are as ready as they will ever be.

    Fuckin' trilobites, man. What were they even thinking?

    So, really, what are we doing?
    >> Anonymous 03/28/12(Wed)22:46 No.18495630
    Beginning a grand mapping, exploration, and colonization effort in the galaxy, to spread the Swarm far and wide, and to cockblock both the UED and the Protoss Empire from expanding their borders by getting prime real estate first.
    >> TUCAMP 03/28/12(Wed)22:49 No.18495662
    Mapping the galaxy it seems, and what's your beef with the trilobite? Didn't we upload the worldship into cyberbrate, if so has he index/cataloged/translated it yet?
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/28/12(Wed)22:59 No.18495767
    Stupid trilobites, thinking they're all hot shit, leaving fossils everywhere, like we're just SOOOO interested in all the genetic variation they developed in the Cambrian. Pompous arthropods.

    ...you're going to make me go track down all the details of what's left in the worldship, aren't you?

    Is there a particular place we want to explore, or are we just expanding at random?

    (We can always time-skip to Felanis arriving and/or more stuff happens with Accountantbrate, if you want, too)
    >> Anonymous 03/28/12(Wed)23:02 No.18495799
    >Is there a particular place we want to explore, or are we just expanding at random?
    At this point, no particular place. However, the overall strategy is to encircle the borders of the UED and the Protoss, so that they cannot expand further. Once they are contained, we will begin colonization of all of the systems located upon our Iron Creep.
    >> TUCAMP 03/28/12(Wed)23:03 No.18495806
    Initial exploration is the boarder regions, then everywhere, and yes I'm making you hunt you worldship notes. And the Directorate caterpillar will be the woolly bear.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/28/12(Wed)23:06 No.18495850
    >Directorate caterpillar

    For a second, I read that as "the Directorate centipede," and my mind went to scary places.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/28/12(Wed)23:09 No.18495882
    Mkay, then, roll 4d100.
    >> Anonymous 03/28/12(Wed)23:10 No.18495885
    rolled 15, 60, 8, 68 = 151


    >> TUCAMP 03/28/12(Wed)23:12 No.18495905
    rolled 38, 54, 46, 26 = 164

    Now I'm wondering how often the UED legislature passes meaningless bills, like declaring bacon to be tasty. While true you don't nee to pass a resolution reaffirming the tastiness of bacon. We should have them do that, let Keri know.
    >> Anonymous 03/28/12(Wed)23:13 No.18495912
    rolled 79, 80, 36, 72 = 267

    For trolling the galaxy!
    >> Codeki 03/28/12(Wed)23:14 No.18495934
    rolled 72, 6, 62, 43 = 183

    Sweet, Zerg Quest. I was hoping this would show up tonight.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/28/12(Wed)23:25 No.18496080
    No can do.

    After taste-based VR implants were invented, tastes were quantified. Bacon has an explicit tastiness range that can't be changed without actually changing how bacon tastes.

    And altering bacon on such a huge scale would probably require a majority vote, we think. Really. It's bacon.

    Surrounding the UED proves problematic. It seems that the Director of Colonization has doubled the size of his staff and is issuing charters almost non-stop. Humanity, no longer threatened by hostile aliens, is already experiencing a massive wave of expansion. We get nowhere with containing them.

    The Protoss, on the other hand, are slower to expand. We manage to surround a full third of their empire without even arousing suspicion. Startup colonies are budding on many worlds. Colonylord is very busy.
    >> TUCAMP 03/28/12(Wed)23:30 No.18496126
    Even if the UED is expanding fast we can expand faster. We can strip mine a system in a week. So let's build a barren buffer zone around the UED. Use the mosquitos and the Xel'Naga planet pealer to do it.
    >> Anonymous 03/28/12(Wed)23:31 No.18496140
    Sounds like a good plan. Let's get started.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/28/12(Wed)23:33 No.18496165
    Are we going to use to three or four we have now, or make more?
    >> Anonymous 03/28/12(Wed)23:36 No.18496207
    We make more!
    For the first time, all immediate threats to the Swarm have been put down. We can now turn our psionic eye inwards towards expansion.
    >> TUCAMP 03/28/12(Wed)23:40 No.18496251
    Wait, when did we build the peelers? Doesn't matter, build more, and spawn more mosquitoes and freighters. Also we might want to, in the new barren systems, see if see can make a supernova. Might be a useful trick.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/28/12(Wed)23:43 No.18496280
    Oh, oops. Wasn't paying attention. We have three or four of the giant, nippled planet harvesters with their mosquito drones.

    You want to build the Xel'Naga devices to help with harvesting planets, then?
    >> Anonymous 03/28/12(Wed)23:44 No.18496293
    rolled 71 = 71


    Might as well. See how those things work.

    What are the terrans under our protection up to these days?
    >> Anonymous 03/28/12(Wed)23:45 No.18496302
    >You want to build the Xel'Naga devices to help with harvesting planets, then?
    Yes. Just to create a region of the galaxy known as The Barrens separating the expanding UED from the Swarm.
    >> Codeki 03/28/12(Wed)23:46 No.18496308
    Making more would be advantageous. 4 of them would barely make a dent in the billions of planets there are.

    Also, small question. Would you mind if those of us who play TG quest were to harvest some resources from Zerg Quest like unimportant background characters?

    >Xel'naga device
    Hell yeah.
    >> Anonymous 03/28/12(Wed)23:48 No.18496326
    rolled 69 = 69


    Bringing a hole in the dimensions means Cerebrate is going to spread the swarm across the multiverse.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/28/12(Wed)23:49 No.18496333
    Defensebrate and Citybrate are proud to inform us that Moria, Tarsonis, and the newly-colonized Antiga are all doing quite well. Their infrastructure is mostly recovered, and their populations are recovering from the Terrans' catastrophic near-extinction as well as can be expected. Genetic diversity is high, thanks to our clinics, and most of the people are very happy to live under a government that seems to care about them (nobody can really remember a time where that's ever been the case, before).

    3d100, for the first round, then.
    >> Codeki 03/28/12(Wed)23:50 No.18496342
    Would I be a bad Zerg player if I said "That could be a goal to strive for?"
    >> Anonymous 03/28/12(Wed)23:50 No.18496344
    rolled 14, 43, 12 = 69


    So i guess the furore over the incest stuff is gone?
    >> Anonymous 03/28/12(Wed)23:50 No.18496350
    rolled 80, 61, 74 = 215

    >> Anonymous 03/28/12(Wed)23:52 No.18496361
    rolled 40 = 40


    No, thats perfectly Zerg.

    As a good TG quest player, though, you'd want to be careful of what you unleash. Considering the alliances C.A. has and the vast number of systems in has in its grasp, churning out war machines.
    >> TUCAMP 03/28/12(Wed)23:52 No.18496362
    rolled 21, 29, 89 = 139

    Throw a parade for our terrans! And what about the worldship?
    >> Codeki 03/29/12(Thu)00:00 No.18496449
    As a Zerg Quest player: Yay, go Zerg.
    As a TG Quest player: "Damn it, they opened a hole to the meta with their new tech. Quick, destroy that chunk of their universe before they realize it."
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/29/12(Thu)00:05 No.18496538
    Sure, I guess. If you need details about somebody, just ask. If I don't remember exactly, TUCAMP will surely correct me. :P

    That became less important once we started basically genetically engineering them.

    Oh, no. What if Bernie escapes the Quest?

    We roll four of the Xel'Naga planet stratification devices off the assembly line. They move with our planet harvesters, helping to bring useful resources closer to the surface as we go. Accountantbrate makes the wise decision to use materials from the first few worlds to increase the workforce.

    We have a god start on the Barrens. Nearly 14% of the area we intend to strip is underway. So far, the Terrans appear to be none the wiser.

    (2d100 to keep going)
    >> Anonymous 03/29/12(Thu)00:06 No.18496555
         File: 1332994017.png-(10 KB, 320x310, 1329717813026.png)
    10 KB
    rolled 4, 74 = 78


    >Bernie in the multiverse
    >> Anonymous 03/29/12(Thu)00:08 No.18496574
    >Oh, no. What if Bernie escapes the Quest?
    Shit, and Black Ops is about to lose their entire damn fleet to the fast-approaching reality distortion.
    >> Anonymous 03/29/12(Thu)00:08 No.18496594
    rolled 30, 42 = 72

    Keep going!
    >> Codeki 03/29/12(Thu)00:10 No.18496614
    And it was Bernie all along. . .

    Well, if they do find out, too damn bad. We got there first.
    >> TUCAMP 03/29/12(Thu)00:10 No.18496618
    rolled 51, 66 = 117

    A GOD start! My god that's good to know. Also I don't remember everything, just a decent chunk from when I was trying to make a play of it, got too troublesome. I've been meaning to create a googledocs history or something.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/29/12(Thu)00:21 No.18496774
    Our work slows a bit as we continue working on how to best use the Xel'Naga device. We are now 24% of the way done.

    However, Kerrigan tells us that reports are coming in from the astronomers in the Directorate about activity in the areas we're working. She is keeping it quiet, but unless we're unreasonably lucky, the UED will detect what we're trying to do very soon.
    >> Anonymous 03/29/12(Thu)00:26 No.18496829
    Uhh....Perhaps we should open talks with the UED, saying that we're concerned that their colonization program seems poised to interfere with our own.

    After all, the UED hasn't claimed these systems yet, or this region.
    >> TUCAMP 03/29/12(Thu)00:27 No.18496845
    The peelers don't look like protoss, terran, or zerg stuff right? So withdraw the mosquitos and freighters, so if the UED comes we can "WE ARE THE (to be determined) LEAVE NOW OR FACE THE CONSEQUENCES! The preceding was an automated message."
    >> Anonymous 03/29/12(Thu)00:29 No.18496868
    rolled 12 = 12


    Too early to play our hand.

    Perhaps our forces there should stop and pull back.

    The 25% of planets strip mined will slow them down.

    Re-divert the strip miners to the next phase of planets likely to be colonised.

    If we slow down their expansion, we win. Doesn't matter how long. C.A. lives much longer than the average human after all.
    >> Anonymous 03/29/12(Thu)00:30 No.18496900
    Just a heads up, thread is not bumping. Page 13.
    >> TUCAMP 03/29/12(Thu)00:31 No.18496905
    Also we're buying them, CAPITALISM HO!
    Consequences being infestation missiles everywhere, we're increasing out stockpile to keep pace with UED expansion right?
    >> Anonymous 03/29/12(Thu)00:32 No.18496912
    Aw fuck. This auto-auto-sage filter bullshit is really annoying.
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/29/12(Thu)00:38 No.18496982

    Archiving for posterity.

    We are.

    If the thread's going to expire, should we call it a night? It's a little early, I know.

    Also, quick opinions on 3rd/6th date for next thread?
    >> Anonymous 03/29/12(Thu)00:39 No.18496992
    I would prefer the 6th.
    >> TUCAMP 03/29/12(Thu)00:39 No.18496999
    rolled 11 = 11

    even for 6 odd for 3
    >> TUCAMP 03/29/12(Thu)00:40 No.18497003
    that works too
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/29/12(Thu)00:44 No.18497039
    When did this start up, anyway? There are only 77 posts! What's the deal?
    >> LordHighlander !tHPBvczhcc 03/29/12(Thu)00:46 No.18497056
    dunno. Been monitoring it though.
    >> Codeki 03/29/12(Thu)00:49 No.18497089
    This is going to piss off people really quickly when it starts killing everyone's quests hours ahead of time.
    >> Anonymous 03/29/12(Thu)00:53 No.18497133
    I've sent an email to moot.
    Someone tried to bring it up on the IRC but they were ignored.
    >> Codeki 03/29/12(Thu)01:00 No.18497203
    Any good way to contact you if we wanted to send you an email, Cerebrate?
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/29/12(Thu)01:04 No.18497238
    Why would you need to email me?

    I am reasonably suspicious of 4chan's motives.
    >> Codeki 03/29/12(Thu)01:19 No.18497382
    TG quest stuff. If need be, you could use a disposable one. I wouldn't generally put up my email either.

    If you got a steam account, we could chat through that as well. http://steamcommunity.com/groups/metaquest
    >> Cerebrate Anon 03/29/12(Thu)01:21 No.18497413
    Eh, what the hell. I've got throwaways for a reason.

    I don't check this often, though. So, yeah.

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